Holly Willoughby: Life After Daytime TV, Martinis & Tequila

17:42Alan Carr:Well, it was funny because just before we started, you said, oh, I feel a bit nervous. And is that because you feel like you are maybe in a realm that you haven't been in before? Well, I think also because I've watched your podcast a lot. So I feel like I'm sort of like, I'm going to do it. Oh, okay. But yeah, it is weird. It is, yeah, it's weird. Also because I've been away for a bit. So it's funny coming back and kind of seeing everybody and starting this up again. But you seem, you swear a little bit, it's bleeped out and stuff, but you do. You seem freer and more, would you say it's a more genuine Holly kind of thing?

18:16I mean, not that you were fake, but you feel like you're like Holly nights. Yeah, a few people have said this to me and I totally understand what they're saying, but I think the space that we created, I wanted everybody to feel really comfortable. So, you know, when you walk in, you just feel really at home, that you can be completely yourself. and that kind of I felt like that too and I don't know whether it's this nature but rather than when you're on telly and somebody says cue and you automatically go okay and then you're on whereas with this environment it feels much more like I can chat to Soph on camera one and we can just all we're all kind of in it together and it feels a lot more relaxed and it's like as soon as you walk into that space everything's filming so everything gets captured and you get all that kind of behind the scenes stuff that sort of happens which people want which people really like they want they love that Yeah, it's really nice.

19:03I'm actually really loving that. And it feels, yeah, it just feels really normal, really natural. And it's just quite, it's fun. We're having a laugh, doing it.

19:11Alan Carr:Have there been any things that like you've had to almost unlearn from the live TV aspect into? Well, there's things like, I mean, obviously, I've used to working with autocue. I mean, we were talking about this just now. And there's no autocue. Like, there's nothing particularly scripted. There's lots of telly stuff that I, I mean, really, this is kind of everything I've learned and loved over all of my career. So, you know, it's not that far removed from telly life because it's still me and essentially I'm still the same person. But it does feel tonally a little bit different. But yeah, I think just going with whatever happens, you know.

19:46But that's what people look like. They look a bit of chaos.

19:49Alan Carr:It's got a bit of, yeah, it's definitely not that. And I understand why, you know, because I used to work at daytime TV and we're filming literally next to the television centre. and there were times where but you understand because there's so many people above and above or around going no it takes one person to just sanitise it a little bit and I think there is I think that's why YouTube's so great because it kind of allows you to rip up the rule book a little bit doesn't it I'm really enjoying playing it's quite nice it can trip you up sometimes especially with us where we're like there's no rule book we're too relaxed and thank God the bits they cut out thank God because we get the transcript and like did I say that And then, oh, my God, you know, two tequilas in, and I'm telling people my inside leg measurement and my beard.

20:31His agent rang him up. Do you want to work in telly? That's what he did. Do you want to work in telly? Do you want to get cancelled? Oh, you've heard the podcast.

20:43Alan Carr:So you liked it then? But I was going to say as well, firstly, actually, how long has this been in the making? Quite a long time. I mean, like, actually, like, to get to this point, I think when I took some time away, I was a bit like, what do I want to do? And I asked myself that question a lot because I honestly didn't really know. It's quite like, if you ask yourself what you want to do, I'm sure people say it to you all the time, sometimes it's quite hard to find the answer to it. He bought a castle. Oh, yeah, he did. So were you thinking of doing that for a long time? Yeah, I was in the Traitor's Castle.

21:16I don't know if you know, but I won the first celebrity merger. I don't like to talk about it. You were amazing. Oh, thank you. You broke my heart when you cried at the end. Sorry, I know. No, no, I know. It's like, oh, I felt for you. And you were just so fantastic. You were so wonderfully you. Like, we just love you. But can I say, when I was on those steps and I went, I'm afraid. I went home and packed. I went, that's it. Bye, everyone. I've had a lovely time. Love you, Claudia. See you later. They still voted for Joe Marler. Anyway. No, and it was that. And then I just loved it. And it was, and then Disney Plus after one, it said, what are you up to?

21:52and I said I want to buy in a castle and they spat the tea out and they went yeah

21:56Alan Carr:so that's how it went so did you sit there and think did you actually sit there and go right what do I want to do or did it just come to you yeah no it was like what do I want to do and I remember thinking right easy than the answer to that is what do I like and I remember thinking like the thing about my career and everything that I've done is that I love talking to people I love hearing people's stories I love listening and I love sharing their stories and I thought right that's got to be at the core of this like whatever this next step is it has to be that and I was like right what are my other what other things do I love and it was like, well, beauty and fashion, obviously.

22:24Love having a drink. I mean, you are guys after my own heart. Love a drink. Love food. I love buying food. I love cooking food. I love eating food. I was like, it's got to be all of these things that I love. And then it was like, right, where do we put it? And then that was when kind of looking at how things work and what people are viewing habits and all that sort of stuff and YouTube's seen the right fit. So really, it's been a slow burning process to get to here. But I would say middle of last year, we really were like, the YouTube thing came and then the rest of it came and I was like blessed for doing this An amazing guest Stanley Tucci Joanne McNally who we adore How amazing I mean both amazing Joanne I'm obsessed Well she's another podcast that I love She is amazing Joanne I just she is unbelievable isn't she?

23:06Oh my god What a talent like funny funny bones and I just wanted her in I just wanted to play Yeah She is Can you just come and play? The thing is I changed my number recently and we me and Joanne And we do have some of our algorithms maybe on Instagram might be a bit sus. And we've got this crime scene ones. Oh, yeah. And I changed my number and didn't tell her. And then she's like this post of this blood splattered toilet. And I circled Joanne McNally and sent it to her. And I thought, fuck, this is on a number she doesn't know. And then I had to go, hello.

23:38Alan Carr:It looks quite sinister. It looks quite sinister. Joanne. I'm watching you. This could be you. I went, oh, it's me, love. It's me, love. she's great i am great i was actually thinking on the way here and every time we pass television center and i used to do that i did blue swimming for like seven years and it was four days five days a week for me you obviously did this morning four days a week i was thinking do you for how 14 years do you kind of miss because sometimes i miss that structure of me waking up and actually i'm this has been the best year ever me leaving loose women was you know i do miss it but it was great for me but i used to love right i get up no go to the gym i've got that i know yeah

24:26Alan Carr:honestly just have a quick word

24:35Alan Carr:do you ever miss kind of like that having that structure you know it's freeing in a way but do you ever think well what i discovered was once i stopped working was that i am so lazy i am i was I was like, wow. I love doing nothing. But somebody who worked like a lot and was really busy and people were like, I don't know how you do it. How do you keep so many plates spinning? I was like, wow, I'm literally half woman, half mattress. I'm the same. Because you're not, you have to keep doing things. Do you? Oh no, I adapted like that. I know it myself. I feel. I'm so glad you say that because more people need to admit.

25:09Alan Carr:I don't feel any guilt where I've gone, I've done nothing today. Yeah, I love it. I know, I really, I mean, this is like, Just being here is hard. I'm here for the drinks, so let's be honest.

25:24Alan Carr:So we've got, you've got cooking, so what are the segments called? It's a cook together, hang out together. Yes, hang out together. I mean, there's a lot of together things. One of those things. I keep singing that. I know, it wants my rose in. I'm very protective of it. It's so good. Yeah, there's lots of things. So basically, there's a bit of cooking, there's a bit of fashion. It depends like what's on. So this is, these are loose frameworks. Oh, okay. Like anything can change, like depending on what works and what doesn't. Like the show could evolve another beauty opinion on YouTube is that we can get kind of feedback and see what people like.

25:56But like fashion, sometimes it's me trying on a load of jeans and trying to see what works. Or like we had, we did a 90s fashion thing with Emma Bunsen and Nicole. I've seen my friends, they came over and Emma brought in her a Spice Girls outfit that she wore on the Brits. Oh my God. I know, like I've never seen it before. Your face is like the best one. The girls are so, I know, that's how I felt. She brought in her white boots, like with the big chunky heel things that she's hauling off. And you have more control now about what you want to talk about as well. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, yeah. I guess so.

26:31I mean, I'm sort of more involved, definitely. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, it is nice when you can get your mates in. Oh God, yeah. It's fun. Because the thing is, I mean, God, I always keep turning around to me, honestly. Yeah, go on. No, no, no. But you know, like people go, oh, it's Chatty Man coming back. And I sort of say to them, I say, well, actually, just watch this podcast because it's the same kind. We have great guests, great chat, and there is a freedom there. And, you know, you have your script meeting before when I did Chatty Man. You've got to hit these points. But I said, you're seeing me just a bit freer and a bit looser.

27:02Still interviewing people. Still interviewing people, still having a laugh. It's the same thing. And I love it. You know, I come in, something happens on the way here. We chat about it and have a laugh. You know, and there's something lovely about that. And I think the viewers or listeners appreciate that. Yeah, I think you're absolutely right. And I'm discovering this myself because you hope it works. And actually, as we were filming and we started it, I was like, I bloody love this. Yeah. Like, it just feels nice.

27:27Alan Carr:Yeah. Fun. Having a laugh. And you can get it on Spotify as well because it's visual on Spotify. Yes, it's on lots of different things. Oh, yeah, you have to get used to this. Wherever you get your podcast. Wherever you get your podcast. Can it be audio as well? It can be. I mean, I'm in the loosest. It definitely can be, but I mean, it's not in my head all the time. And actually, I hear you guys think you're really good at it. Well, we do. You describe things like when you were eating the pasty, you were like, he's eating. And I was like, that's what I need to do. I've got to remember that. So I'm like, I'm like learning this all the time.

27:59I love the fact you're learning from us. I am. I actually am. I am. Oh, dear. Take your notes. I know, but I do am learning. Because you are, you know, you are a giggler. I, yes, but no. As are you. Yeah, I know, I know. I know. We derail ourselves all the time. It's like, it's what we do, it's what we do best.

28:23Alan Carr:I was in the audience of the Graham Norton show when you two were on it. Oh, yes. And were you on it with Robert De Niro? Oh, my God, yes. Or Robert De No-No, as we were calling it. Robert De Niro. I know. And you two were giggling to each other. And Elton John. Yes. It was Elton and Robert De Niro. And Brandy Carlisle. Graham has the best line-up. We went to Brandy Carlisle's festival. We ended up at her lesbian festival. Oh, yeah, that's right. I know this because I listen to you. Yeah, yeah. We said, oh, let's go to this festival. Great line-up, Sam Smith and all that, Brandy herself. And then I looked on the thing.

28:56I said, Lee, because, you know, a bit of a holiday romance. There's no men. Where are the men? You had lesbian retreat. Not a retreat. Kind of. They did retreat when we came there. They retreated from us. They slowly walked back. Get out.

29:18Alan Carr:So you've had Stanley Tucci. Catherine Ryan, is she? Yes, Catherine Cameron. She's amazing. I love it. Like the thing about her and Catherine and these are these women who I just look at and I just go, they're so free. You know, they just say, they're just brave and they just say what is in their minds and there's a real freedom. And I'm like, again, I feel like I'm starting at the beginning. I'm like, right, I need to learn that from you. I need to learn that from you. And yeah, they all just, yeah, came in. And Catherine's great. She got me into trouble, though. Oh, why? Because we played, have you seen this?

29:48Did you see this? We played Shag, Marry, Avoid.

29:50Alan Carr:Oh, I've seen this, Romesh, yes. And this was with, actually, it was Josh Whittacombe's fault because he set us the question. It wasn't Catherine. And he said, he said, in fact, you can play this game. Out of Rob Beckett, Josh Whittacombe, and Romesh Ranganathan, Shag, Marry, Avoid. Ooh, I'd shag them all. Okay. That's probably the better answer, actually. No. Oh, God. That's tough, isn't it? Because it's the avoid thing. I'd marry Ramesh because I imagine he probably has the most money. That's beautiful. Thanks. So romantic. I'd shag Rob Beckett and I'd avoid Josh. You'd avoid Josh. Right, come on then.

30:32um

30:34Alan Carr:this is gonna um well I feel like this I'd shag Ramesh yeah that's yeah oh wow yeah I feel like I need to make it up to him

30:49um

30:53I don't think shagging him will do that Alan he hates me even more

31:03and marry i'll say marry josh because josh used to do my warm-up when i went on tour and i always felt so sorry for him because you know we'd be going all over the place and then we would both turn up and people thought he was my lover oh and they go a double room for you and josh i mean no and he's like you know because they thought you know you better marry him make her honest yeah

31:25Alan Carr:I'm excited for Josh on Strictly. Me too. Was that never anything that you thought you would want? So many people have asked me this. Yeah, I bet. Sorry. So many people. I was never even in the mix for it, I don't think. I was more on the side of who the hell is it going to be in Don't Ruin, my favourite show. Yeah. Like, I love Strictly. It's my favourite. Who would you want to be paired with if you were on it as a contestant? I would want to be with... Because how tall are you? I was about to say, well, Aliash has got the height. Yeah. Or Johannes, obviously. Yes. I think probably Johannes. Well, he's not dancing anymore, is he?

31:58Alan Carr:I know, I know, I know. Neither am I, so this is all. Yeah. Oh, yes. I love that. God, yeah. I'm like, Polly, stick to facts. Yeah. I could see you and Jojo together. I know. Me too, in my head. Because if you remember, me and Amanda were tipped. Apparently, according to the newspapers, we were having a chemistry test. Me and Amanda. See if we get on. I spend every summer with her doing up a shithole. Just check the archives. We really get on. We go, you know. It is mad, isn't it? All that whole time there's like this mad chaotic and you're like, it's news to me and everybody's messaging me and texting me and I'm like, honestly, not a single person.

32:42That's gone, baby. Right now.

32:45Alan Carr:Is that ever like a bit like... I know you're like, should they have done? Hang on a minute. You ever bring your agent like, can I just check we have a... I don't know. Holly, can you come every week? You've not just bought wine. Have you bought us a cocktail? I have bought you a cocktail, but I'm like, obviously, you're the mixologist. No, I'm not mixologist. Okay, well, you're a cocktail enthusiast. You're a cocktail enthusiast. I enthusiastically drink them. Great. But on the show, we had Stanley Tucci, who came in, who also... He makes an amazing martini. Yes, he does. So in lockdown, he did similar to you.

33:14He started to make martini and listen to jazz and made us all feel very unsophisticated. And he came on and he showed me how to make his martini. Now, I might get it wrong, but I'm going to do it my best. I'm not brilliant. That's all we want. And I've started to try and do it because there's like a, well, should I show you?

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34:18I can clear my search history, but I can never unsee that.

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36:06Right, you ready for this?

36:08Alan Carr:I'm ready. I am no expert. If it goes wrong, it's Stanley's fault. Just start with that. And from what I can see, it's a dry martini, is it? It's a dry martini, yes. Not dirty. And I prefer that with a lemon zest. I like the zest as well. I don't like the dirty. No, not with the olive. The briny stuff. I like an olive, but not with the... Yeah, not too... Yeah, not olive brine, yeah. A bit dishwatery. I'm being a bit thick because I don't have much. What does a dry one mean? So you can either have... So it's the vermouth, doesn't it, that makes it the dry bit. Is it? Is that right? Have I just made that up?

36:40That's the dry vermouth?

36:41Alan Carr:Yeah. Yeah, you've got vermouth. It's pure alcohol. So do you do it with gin or do you do it with vodka? I like a vodka. Vodka and vermouth. And I think with the dry one, because you do a wet martini and I think that has a little bit of water in, I might be wrong there. Yeah, but a dry one doesn't. And also with the lemon zest, I think that's classed as a dry and then a dirty martini is the olive. but I might be wrong there. I will say, martinis are the ones that I haven't cracked yet. Well, so over to you. I mean, what I have learned from him is that part of it is the ice situation. So you need to, oh my God, I can't pick up the ice.

37:21What's happening? Sorry, I'm just making it.

37:23Alan Carr:I've got frostbite. These are the ones. You have to make it really, and there is, oh God. Right, I'm just going to do this. Just do that face. Use your fingers, don't worry about it. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh, I don't want the water. Yeah, because the thing is, you don't want to dilute it. The more ice, the better. Everyone always goes, less ice, I don't want it diluting. Well, if you get less ice, it will dilute quicker. And it makes it a little bit harsher. It is science. Learning with Lee. The way that I do it, I'm normally used to making two. Well, I like that vodka as well. Kettle One Vodka, nice.

37:57Alan Carr:Yeah, that's really nice. That's a good vodka. It's a good one. It's not too harsh. actually smells of absolutely nothing. Yeah, well, vodka doesn't really have a taste. People say that, and I think it does smell. But that's really, really good. Right, so if I was making two, I would go four vodkas. So that's four 50 mil. Is that a mil, yeah, a 50 mil? I don't know, I can't see it, I've got my glasses on. Okay, I think that is 50 mil. So four, and then I go four of those, and then I go just slightly under, a shot. I'm doing it in shots. So you're looking at about 45 mil maybe? Sorry, 20 mil of vermouth?

38:40Yeah. So that's what I'm doing. But is that for four? Well, I've done that thing where I'm sort of doing it for two, but I'm going to see how bright goes and I can make up more. Yeah, yeah, no, that's fine. So actually, no, sod it. Let's just go double.

38:54Alan Carr:Well done, Holly. I know. We were hoping you would do that. I know, as I'm thinking about it. It's almost like telepathic. I was like, put another one in. Put another one in. I forgot where I was. Do it. Do you want me to do this for you? Yes. She might not like that. You know when you're doing your mixologist, if someone's... Yeah, I know. It's like when you... Backseat driver. When I'm making my celery risotto, no one gets involved. No one gets involved. Do you do... Not even when you plate it up.

39:29Hello.

39:31Alan Carr:So you're a stirrer. So I'm a stirrer. Yeah, I am as well. You put it in between like that. You've got good technique there with this. Yeah, Stanley taught me this. And then you... That is a bit of a flex to say Stanley Tucci taught me how to make martini. I know, I know. So then you have to stir, stir, stir, because we're going for stirred, not shaken. Yeah. Shaken is when you bash the ice about and you can get little chips of ice in it. I know, I've had some in my face. So we're now like hopefully diluting it slightly with the water. and this is part of the thing, you can't rush it. No. And while we're doing that, we're going to make our little twists.

40:06Can I just say with Stanley, and it might be the drink talking, but I do fancy him. I think... He's gorgeous. I know, like with bald men, I mean, Jason Statham... Do you like a bald head? Yeah. Yeah, do you like that? I love a bald head. Do you? I want to kiss it. Oh. I think he'd let you kiss his head. I think he'd love you.

40:24Alan Carr:Have you ever met Stanley Tucci? No. I met Jason Statham once. I did as well, at Stalmanor with you. Yeah! We bumped into him and I didn't know it was him. Yes! I was like, that guy's really fit. And you went, it's Jason Statham. Because my dog ran over. My dog's a bit crazy. Rita, like this. And the kid went, ah! Like this. I went, oh, sorry. I said, the dog's fine, he wouldn't bite. That's all right. And I went, ah! Did you melt? I melted. And then I went, oh my God, because it had on. I didn't recognise the bald head. Yeah. So you like quite a kind of macho... Yeah, Ross Kemp. Yeah. So what I've done here, Ross Kemp.

41:07That kind of...

41:09Alan Carr:Did you like the Ross Kemp videos he was doing over the World Cup? I nearly reported them. It looked like a hemorrhoid. It looked like a hemorrhoid, he was so red. Like a pile. I knew it was bad because it came up with one of those warnings, don't try this at home. Practically, because he was like, come on England. I'm just giving it a little try. I can smell that lime zest. Sorry, lemon zest. It's good, it's good. So what I did was I twisted this. And that expresses the oil. You can go around the edge a little bit if you want to. Yeah, nice. Because most of the flavour people don't realise is in the pith.

41:42Is in the pith. Right, are you ready? So it's a very clean, elegant drink.

41:47Alan Carr:So Holly is currently pouring a... Oh, it looks so delicious. Let me try, let me try. I need to practice. I'm currently pouring my martini into my prepared martini glasses. I never thought you'd take presenting skills from Leap It. Now I've heard everything. Holly, who taught you how to do this? Alan Carr's little friend.

42:12Alan Carr:There you go. That looks nice. And what I will say, and you haven't done this here, which is fine, because you're in somewhere else. I would, top tip, freezer, the glass chill, the glass is nice. But that's not your fault, Holly. It's not your fault. No. Sorry. No, I'm just saying it's a nice tip. It is a really nice tip. As a guest on our podcast, maybe take off a bit, Lee. Bottoms up. Bottoms up. This is how's good, Holly. This is Lady Petrol. Do you know the little rhyme? Not up your bum, no I'm done. No. Not that one, but I think you'll like it. I think you'll like it. So Dorothy Parker said, I like a martini, two at the most, three I'm under the table, four I'm under the host.

43:02Dorothy knew. Well, that is a stretch, but thanks. Better get stirring. I thought you'd seen the podcast. Oh my God, that wouldn't go down. That was so close, coming straight out. So what do you think?

43:20Alan Carr:This is delicious. Is it? It's really balanced. No, it's really nice, really fresh. Yeah? Do you think it's so good? Oh, no, I'm not just saying it because you know, sometimes we have martini and he tries to get me into martinis and you get whiplash. This is good. Is that good? Right. The best thing about cocktails is it has to be balanced. That's all it has to be. So if you ever have a cocktail and you go, it's just not balanced, it's not right. Is that me? That is really balanced. Is that good? That's really nice. Oh, good. And the lemon cuts through. Lovely. And you know, Alessandro, if you've heard of a guy called Alessandro Palazzi, you should get him on.

43:52Alan Carr:next he is the master mixologist for martinis at Duke's Bar in London has he been on air no we well I'm going to try and get him he made a martini for the king oh no I've never met him yeah that's pressure isn't it and he's bald you'll love him Alan for the purpose of the listener what is Alan doing Alan's gurning he's cropping you're the bitch he's foaming at the mouth so did you like martinis before Stanley got you into it I've had a few I have had a fair few in my time I did like them but it was more during lockdown when I was like oh that looks good so like everybody else I feel like he was my first introduction to a martini you feel a bit zhuzhy as well drinking a martini you feel really like really kind of glam you feel like you can see why the James Bond thing because it is just effortlessly cool, isn't it?

44:45Yeah, it is. And they do kick in quite quick, which I quite like. It cuts out all the crap. Yeah, of course it does. So, okay.

44:53Alan Carr:What's your hangover cure? Do you have... What do you go to if you like? I mean, I don't stop eating. I eat my way through the day. Right. So it'll be like fry up. It'll be just picking bits. I suddenly go really like 80s and I'm like scotch egg, pork pie, like Marks and Spencer's piggy bits. Lovely. One of my favourite, favourite kind of like, what's it called when the thing that like a, what's that thing called when you, by the way, my brain stopped working in the last two years. Also, this happens a lot. I end up playing like Shiraz with words. Guilty pleasure. Guilty pleasure. Love it. I was trying to help you, but I was nowhere else.

45:32I know, I know. It's really hard. No clue. I know. Guilty pleasure is, you know those plastic like cheese slices?

45:39Alan Carr:Yes. The square ones. The square ones. so you unwrap it, so you're now just left with a piece of plastic cheese. Then you get a pork scratching, put it in the middle, fold it up like a little wonton. Oh my God. So I do. So is it the burger cheese you use or is it the ones... Like the Kraft cheese slice? Yeah, I do a gouda slice. That's posher. Please, gay and hate. And I do a bit of salami, a bit of balsamic glaze, push it up into a cheese... Oh my God, that sounds good too. Yeah, but I might try a pork scratching. Can I tell you my hangover cure? Yes. This genuinely worked. I was minging. I had a shot of tequila and a whole pack of Tangfastics.

46:23Wow. It went. It went. I was like, hallelujah. Honestly. It is, you have to replace the sugar. Yeah, that was it.

46:32Alan Carr:There's a lot of sugar in that Tangfastics bag. And as we always say, please do drink responsibly. Drink away, Dr. No sugar. I don't. Right, listen. This is delicious, but I've got a game. I've got a game that I want to play. I love a game. You love a game. Well, good. I'm glad you both love a game because you're both going to be playing it against each other. Oh, we're against each other. And guess what it's called? You won't believe this. Holly and Alan play a game? No, no, it's not called Holly and Alan play a game. Damn it. Wish I'd thought of that. It's original. It's called Surprise Surprise.

47:09Alan Carr:Okay. We have to guess the prices of things. Exactly. Who told you that? God, she's good. Okay, okay. So we are going to bring in some wine. That's just what you want after wine, martini, more wine. Did that just come out your nose? Yes. Basically, my body is Lady A, tequila, martini, and now wine. Like a wine sandwich. Yes. No, you only have a little taste. I'm not crying, that's martini. Sorry. Do you want me to clean your glasses? Oh, could you not? I feel like I need to. Thank you, my love. You've got like splotches. It's like the ice. Me wears my martini. There you go, babe. How can you see out of these?

47:53My mum says that. I know, I know, I know.

47:56Alan Carr:What's your prescription? I don't know. No, I mean the dirt, not the prescription. Cut that out.

48:07This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, sometimes, Lee, life can be a bit tough and you need someone to talk to, you know, offload. Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, I've got, I want to offload. There's something I want to, Lee, Lee. Sorry about it. I said sometimes it's nice to have someone to talk to, to offload. Life is hard.

48:26Alan Carr:Yes, I'm sorry about that. I got distracted. Yes, it is. And I will say therapy, being serious for a minute, changed my life. Because I was always one of those, I got a therapist a few years ago, and I was always one of those people who was like, I don't need therapy, nothing's wrong with me, blah, blah, blah. That was kind of sometimes the stigma I had. And it was the best thing I did. Because even if you're not necessarily having a hard time. It's just talking to someone. There's nothing wrong with talking. I think people just imagine you're laying down like on a couch and talking to you in a darkest fear.

48:58It's talking. It's like what we do on here.

49:00Alan Carr:Yeah, and that's why BetterHelp is good, because what it does is it matches you to a qualified and experienced therapist that you can just have in your pocket, basically, whenever you feel like you need to talk. And again, sometimes it's the moments where you don't feel like you want to talk, where they're the best ones. They always talk about breakthroughs in therapy, and that was the one for me. I remember having a therapist when everything was going quite nice in my life, and that was a really good time to kind of actually look at it from more of a bird's eye point of view rather than being stuck in the whirlwind of stuff.

49:34People also think stand-up comedians are miserable in real life but you're just as funny off stage as you are on.

49:43Alan Carr:I just need to get better help now for... Deal with that comment. And I'm here. I'm here for you. The therapist would say, that's projection. Cheers BetterHelp makes it easier for you to connect with a qualified therapist whenever you need one And they have over 30 ,000 therapists worldwide to help you through things like everyday stress or the bigger life challenges So if you're thinking about therapy BetterHelp can help you make the first step Head to betterhelp.com forward slash at bottoms up 10 to get 10 % off your first month That's betterhelp.com forward slash bottoms up 10.

50:28Alan Carr:So this is a test of your taste buds, basically. You're doing so well. That martini, is it? This is a test of your taste buds. So, thanks. You're doing great. You're doing so good. Keep going. Keep going. You're doing really well. You got this. You're doing really well. So, I'm going to pour three glasses of wine. And I'm going to ask you both, and you're against each other, and now I know you're quite competitive, Holly. I can be, I can be, yeah. So you are going to predict how much the bottle costs. Can you tell your premium palettes from your bargain bins, basically? All right? Okay. And for the purpose of continuity, I'm also going to drink the wine as well.

51:11Of course, of course. So what we're going to do is we're going to start.

51:16Alan Carr:Now, Alan, you might recognise this. It's wine in a brown bag. Yes, lovely. Perfect way you drink it. Yes, I like a bag for life because I know I've always got it there every day. So, I'm going to hold up this wine. And actually, for those watching, either on Spotify or YouTube, we're going to put on the screen how much this bottle is. Oh, that's clear. I'll see. So if you want to play along, close your eyes. Do I need to close my eyes? No, it's in a brown bag. unless you can see through the tiny holes in this rat-a-tang. So, here we go. First bottle pouring there. A little taster for you. I do like, I know, I'm not like...

52:01It's the alcohol police of a run. Guilty! Alex Charlie, there we go. Okay.

52:10Alan Carr:So, we're going to pour... It made a nice glug. A nice glug, oh. A nice glug. But just because it's posh doesn't mean I do like, sometimes I like maybe something that's a bit like... Well, I'm just going to go with what I think tastes nice. Yeah, exactly. That's all it is. It's a test for your taste buds, all right? So can you spot the cheap wine or can you spot a pricier one? So... That's a bit Chardonnay, isn't it? I'm glad you said Chardonnay. It's a bit... Is it a bit oaky? Oaky? What are you getting from that? Not okay.

52:44It's not okay. It's not okay. It's not a ride, but it's okay. I think it's probably really nice and we just don't think it is.

52:56Alan Carr:No, I think it's£6.99. Okay, I'm going... So you're saying£6. Can we write this down, lovely invisible people behind the camera? Do you know what I feel like? Our driver's assistant, Harry. I feel like, I'm just going to say I think it's probably more expensive. so you're going$6.99 are you locking that in? are you locking that in? because I feel like it's locked in there's like a flavour sophistication something going on which I often don't like more expensive wines which is why I think I might not like that oh okay so you're going the other way do you know what I mean? so you know what your taste buds are like you don't trust your taste buds no so what do you say?

53:33Alan Carr:it's a brief look so you've got$6.99 for Alan Holly? oh god what? You've got to make a price. All right, I'm going$14.99. $14.99 for the bottle. Okay, let's lock. Are you locking that in? I lock. Locked in. That's locked in. Brilliant. All right. And we're going home with that. You're going home with that. That's safe. That's safe. That glass of wine is safe. You're going home with that. Yeah. Okay. So, Oki. Oki. We...

54:08Alan Carr:So now we've got another one. Ooh, God, here we go again. We go on to bottle number two. Ooh, we don't get the results till the end. No, not till the end. No, not till the end. And actually, what I will say is, will I say this? I'm sorry to say it. What I will say is, will I say it? Don't keep us hanging. You might want to change based on tasting them. What does that mean? As in, like, you might taste the next one. and go, you might taste this next one and go, oh, actually, it's changed what I think the price will be. Oh, so we can't, when we said locked, banked, whatever, we didn't mean it. You've locked it in, but if you want to unlock it, you just go, unlock.

54:47Holly, I'm just going to say, I think you're overthinking this item. For listeners, Holly's looking confused. Oh, it's a red. Oh my God, that bag does work. You don't know what's coming out.

55:00Alan Carr:It's nice when you have it in a bag, because it's a surprise. Surprise, surprise! That is a good test for people at home who think we know this, because I was expecting why. This smells actually really nice. It smells like berries. Ooh! Doesn't it? So what are you getting from that? Cheers, thumbs up. Give it a swirl, give it a swirl. Cheers, cheers. Cheers, thumbs up. That smells like really berry, fruity, nice. That feels nice. I'm going to hold this up to the camera so people can see the price if you're watching at home or on the go. It tastes quite young though. It's not like a deep, rich, heavy red.

55:32It's young. It's a young, yeah, it's young. It's like a young, lively red, which is normally not what I want from a red. I want a heavy hangover. I like, oh, like Malbec. I like Christmas Day red. Oh, God, you have that third glass, and you go, yes, I'm getting a hangover. What red do you like? Like a Malbec? Well, I say this, I mean, I like a, or like a, this is a basic bitch, I like a Merlot soft, like a thing. Oh. I know, that's bad, that's not.

55:57Alan Carr:No, no, it's not bad. I wouldn't say it was that heavy. Have you ever gone to Echo Falls? Oh, yeah, I like an Echo Falls. My sister's got a theory that any wine bottle that's got an animal on the front of it is a good bottle of wine. And I'm not joking, every time we've had a bottle of wine with an animal on the front, it tastes nice. What's that one, the little chicken, the chicken wine? Yeah, is that good? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the wolf one? There's a wolf one that's nice. There's a lady A, butterfly, nice. Oh, yes. Told you. You'll see, it's a thing. That is a thing. It's a thing. Oh, yeah.

56:28What animal should we have on our wine? Ooh, like a... I don't know what you want. Sloth.

56:34Alan Carr:A baboon with a bottom mouth, bottoms up. Oh, nice! Baboon wine. Anyway, yeah, that's a fly off the shelves. So what do you think for that? You like it? This is lovely. I think this is... It's really, really drinkable. I think it's£16. You think it's more expensive, I think it's less expensive. So you think how much, Alan? £16. And Holly? I'm going£6.99. £6.99? You're going£6.99? I'm going, Dad, I'll tell you why. Why? Because I feel like it's very, very fruity and young. I feel like red's meant to taste a little bit heavier than that in a weird way. So you think£6.99? Yeah, I'm doing the opposite.

57:08Alan Carr:So, yeah, you've got... And I'm not just doing this for, like, telly thing. I genuinely think that might be... No, no, no, I get what you're saying, because that hasn't lived. This hasn't lived. It hasn't lived. You know, when you're sitting there and the fire's on, you have a glass of red. This is like, nah. Yeah, but then I don't understand... I'm just saying how much you love it.

57:27Don't let her convince you otherwise I'm a people pleaser I might be completely wrong It is really nice I'm not saying it's not nice I thought this game was meant to be fun It's traumatic

57:38Alan Carr:So 16 and 6.99 That's fine I don't know who I am anymore We don't either He just spat at me You actually just spat at me I'm so sorry I'm so sorry Please It's like a badge of honor, I'm happy with that. Oh, please. Right, bottle number three. Okay, is this the third and final one? Please, yes, final, thankfully. Three of ten. So. I can't take any more alcohol, and I know I never thought I'd take it. We need another glass. Oh, yes, we do. Let me have you, let me have you. I forgot about the glasses thing. You've got yours. Okay, so bottle number three. We are moving on to, if you want to look now.

58:22Alan Carr:Is it rosé? Could it be another colour? All right, guess what it is as I pour it? Rosé. You think rosé, you think fizzy? Fizzy. I will tell you it is... a bit of fizz. I love a bubble. Bit of bubbles for you there to celebrate together launching. Together. And by the time this episode comes out, you've had a few episodes out already. Yeah, I'm too drunk to care. It's fine. You're like, what's it called again? Whatever. All right. Cheers. Cheers, my love. Cheers. Cheers. So nice to see you both. I love you. I love you. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're all like, we love you. I'm going to cry. I love you too, Ollie.

59:04Oh, my God.

59:05Alan Carr:Okay, so. Okay, this is, I think this is a, it's definitely a Prosecco. Is it? Do you think it ain't champagne, love? I think the only reason I'm saying that is because Prosecco, to me. Oh my God. It has smaller bubbles. I'll give you a clue here. I will give you a clue. It's not like that. It hasn't got the impact. It's frizzy, not fizzy. It's a carver. I will tell you it's a carver. It's frizzy, not fizzy. What? Like frizzy. It's frizzy, not fizzy. Frizzy's. Frizzy's. No. Frizzy, not fizzy's. Frizzy's. This is frizzy's. For the purpose of the... It's not even alcohol, it's frizzy's. For the purpose of the listeners, Alan and Holly are the equivalent of, you know when you meet someone in a smoking area of a bar?

59:55Alan Carr:And you're like, we must hang out. We're going on holiday together. Alan says they're going for us. I reckon that is 10.99. I'm thinking 14.99. Oh, you raised me. Are you? Yeah, I raised you 14.99. You raised me. Okay. All right. The results are in and the votes have been counted and verified. And I can reveal we do have a winner. All right. Bottom number one. Do you want to refresh your taste buds there? This was the oaky, not the oaky. It's not right, but it's oaky. Oh, the oaky, oaky. Oh, the oaky. Honey, are you oaky? Are you oaky? Any more?

1:00:45Alan Carr:I love that. So, Alan, you said you think the Domaine Jean-Jacques Gerard white burgundy, which was$6.99. I won't have any more. Holly, you said it was$14.99. I can reveal that this apparently can taste cheap to non-wine experts. That's what we said. That's what we said and that's what we are. It's fine. It's all true. But it is actually quite fancy. It carries real prestige and price jump. This bottle of wine is... How much? £35. Oh, she's spenny. She's spenny wine. Which means, Holly, you were the closest there with£14.99. I told you, my basic palate never really likes slightly more spenny wine.

1:01:37I'm always a bit like...

1:01:38Alan Carr:So you knew not to trust yourself. Don't trust myself. We move on to... Now he's drinking it. Oh, I'm enjoying it now. Oh my God. This is when we went skiing in Mauritius.

1:01:55Skiing in Mauritius.

1:02:00The slopes are amazing there.

1:02:03Alan Carr:I got a suntan in Antarctica. Right, bottle two. Have a refresh there. This is the jammy little jam. We like this one. Yeah, Alan, you really like this one. You said you would pay£16 for that. Holly, you were a little bit different there. You said£6.99. I thought it felt a bit young. Okay, well, I will tell you that this is the middle ground. It's big, it's bold and richer taste than expected. Yeah. And it does say it often tastes pricier than it is. so I can reveal that this bottle is£10 however on offer£7.50 which was very close to your£6.99 Holly God you're good so Holly the point there thank you very much I'll take that so Holly is on two for our audio listeners Holly's looking really fucking tough and pissed and she's frivoling don't worry about that for our audio listeners Holly's just given Alan the middle finger like yeah, fuck you loser never so okay well let's move on to this one so like I said it is a carver Alan you said it's£14.99 Holly you said£10.99 this apparently it was actually really nice yeah oh no it's nice it's nice well it says it tastes expensive but it's actually cheap it's crispy and dry and it looks like champagne and it's often mistaken for a£20 to£30 fizz.

1:03:40Alan Carr:It's the Friezenet Cordon Negro Brew Carver and it is, I will tell you,£9. £9, that's amazing! And Holly, you were very close with£10.99 which means three out of three... Alan's won. Or lost. Holly is the winner!

1:04:07Thank you. So you have a very sophisticated palate. No, I'm not really. What we've learned here is that I don't trust myself. I went the opposite to how I would have voted.

1:04:17Alan Carr:Holly, thank you so much. What a treat to have you here. And honestly, like, best of luck with Together. Thank you. Well, we've already seen the trailer. And we're going to watch it at five. You're going to be on it. Oh, well. Celery risotto, here we go. So it's out there. and you've got about four episodes already, isn't it? Yeah, it's out. It's living and breathing. Oh, it's brilliant. Thank you. And you can catch it on YouTube, Spotify. Everywhere else. Or wherever you get your podcasts. But I would say it's a watch. Because I think bottoms up, you watch it. It's better to watch than listen to it.

1:04:50Alan Carr:Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's definitely a visual show. Just come on in and enjoy it. That's what I would say. What is, I actually will say, what is the one thing that when people click on it and what do you want them to get from it? Well, for me, when I started this whole thing, I was like, one of my favourite things to do is have lunch with my girls. And we post quite a lot with our girls and we always have those things. And I was like, I just want everyone to feel they've got a seat at the table with the girls. And just come on in and be one of the girls. And that's what I want. Well, there's a couple of games coming along.

1:05:18There's always space at the table. Always, always.

1:05:21Alan Carr:Holly, it's been an absolute treat. Thank you so much. Holly Willoughby, everyone. Lons up. Ooh, bottoms up, bottoms up. That's it for this week. Thank you so much for watching Bottoms Up. If you want to know all the gossip and all the behind the scenes and be the first to know about all the episodes, go to at Bottoms Up Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, and as ever, don't be strangers. We want to hear your wine wins, your disasters, your dilemmas. Please do get in touch with us. You can email us, bottomsup at listen.co.uk or, as Alan said, slide into our DMs on socials, at Bottoms Up Show.

1:05:57And don't forget, please drink responsibly. go to drinkaware.co.uk for more info.

1:06:02Alan Carr:Bottoms Up with Alan Carr and Leapia is a platform media production. Bottoms Up! Bottoms Up!

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