Judi Love, Batty Riders & Lee's Thin Walls

23:00Alan Carr:Oh my God, are you on the app? You know, I don't really talk about dating too tough, but I will tell you this. One time I went on the app a couple of years ago and it's supposed to be one of these exclusive. Oh yes, I think I know the one you mean. Oh, my God, if you're watching, right? It's supposed to be one of these exclusive for, you know, people, you know, in the industry and whatever. And two twos, I blinked, and it was in the papers. And they said no one can't screenshot it, but someone had obviously taken a picture of it with the other phone. Oh, no! Yeah. Just had a break-up. Oh, I'm talking too much.

23:32This rum is dangerous.

23:39Alan Carr:Some people are telling me you're pinned next. Betrayed! Betrayed! We'll be back in zingers. Betrayed! Betrayed! So you were betrayed. I was betrayed! Oh no! Babes! Babes! He's in the babes crew. Who would be your time? What's your fantasy? Like a fireman? I don't know. A man that can fix a door. I'm a 45 woman, yeah? I'm a 45 single woman. and I own my own house, I need a fella, right? A DIY man. If he sees a chip on that wall, he's out there painting it. Do you get what I'm saying? A chip? What, like a potato chip? No, like the paint's chipping or I need, I want a new kitchen. He could be a lawyer, but he could do a kitchen if he needed to.

24:29I remember my ex, right, one time, he was at my old house, right, and the light had gone and my house was like a council property and so one of these lights, you usually have to call them out to fix this light. He knew how to fix it. Oh, he climbed up on that bath. Oh, when he climbed on that bath and he had the screwdriver in his pocket, I said, anywhere, anyhow, you can have me. Wow, wow.

24:57Alan Carr:I mean, the bar is low, isn't it?

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28:18Alan Carr:Bottoms up. You're on tour. So we talked about earlier the One Light Judy Love Tour. Now you're on your second national tour. All about the love. All about the love. Talk to us. What's it about? For people who haven't seen it already, because you're kind of halfway through the tour, aren't you? Yeah, I am halfway through. I've just got to say, Apollo is sold out now, the London show. Thank you very much. We might have some more. Oh. Because that's another iconic location, and I think when you... I've never done that. I'd love to do that. You see, when you do stand up, and I know how buzzing he was when he did the Palladium.

28:52Alan Carr:I mean, that was a real pinch-free moment for you, wasn't it? But there are these locations from East Palladium and the Apollo when you do that because you've been street. Bowie, Beatles, Rolling Stones. It's insane. It's insane. So All About the Love is a little bit more into me, about me, in regards to, like, managing this change in life. I think it's a bit more personal, isn't it? A bit more personal, a bit more about being of this age, being a mum. like all the normal stuff relationship and stuff but actually how how you handle pressure and how guilt and change can bring out all these different emotions in you but how you handle it and sometimes it's kind of okay to mess up and i you know i think for us in the public eye people see us in one way and actually we're still human and normal and we're still learning we're still learning that's what it is we're still learning so it's like i'm on a journey of learning and carrying everything and sometimes the ball might drop.

29:51And what I'm saying to everybody, is this okay? I can drop the ball, you can drop the ball. Let's still kind of have love and empathy for everyone, but also for ourself. So you're going to see all about me.

30:01Alan Carr:And I think with celebrity, you get the whole, you get these weird comments like, you should know better. And you're like, why should I know better? No one gives you a manual. You are feeling your way through this whole jungle of bloody criticism, comments, love. And under a microscope often when you're celebrities. And especially if you haven't been in entertainment for long. And I'll give you a little preview. One of the things I say is all of a sudden you learn new triggers. So most of the time I grew up in social housing, when I was younger, I lived with my mum and she had a property, but she was sick and whatnot and things had to change.

30:40She needed care and so on. So when I moved into my new house, it was like something was wrong, like with the garden and I was ready to call the council and they were like you own your property bitch you gotta pay for that shit yourself and then it was like and then it's wrong we can't

30:59Alan Carr:deal with your garden house Judy that's up to you what did you say betrayed betrayed it was insane and then as well like where I live and my neighbors before were nice but where I the neighbours, they knock all the time. So when the doors used to, when I first moved in, the doors used to knock, I used to be like, shh. Where is it? Where is it? Is it TV licence?

31:27I'm like, turn off the TV. And my kids are like, mum, you're on the TV.

31:32Alan Carr:We're OK now.

31:37And I'm like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. It's one of that, especially coming from, do you know what I mean, coming from working class.

31:44Alan Carr:Yes, of course, yes. It's like, you know, so it's, and also there's a feeling, it's sad to say, a feeling of like, I don't know if it's guilt or like you feel bad to be like wanting something more or changing, you know, you get that thing, oh, you've changed. It's not that you've changed, it's got new experiences. Yes. And I'm still very much who I am at the core of me. Yeah. And so my inner circle know that. I don't give a damn how much TV I have done. If my brethren or people that I know, my brethren are sick, I'm coming to your house in a headscarf with some chicken soup and we've got to do what we've got to do.

32:22Do you get what I'm saying? Like, it's not...

32:24Alan Carr:But that is because people might not know that before you got into comedy, you were a social worker. Yes. And that's, you know, and that's the kind of essence of you, I think. You're such a, you're a solver, you're a helper, you rescue and you nurture as well. And sometimes to the detriment of my own self, if I'm honest. Do you know what I mean? I have a, I was a social worker, I worked in social care, I was a child carer. So my initial first thought is to care. And what I'm realising, you have to protect that. Because some people see that from afar. So I will care for everybody else before I even care for myself.

33:02I could be exhausted. And there will be people who take advantage of that. So now I'm at that stage where I'm like, no. And that's taken me a little while. Like, no, sorry, no, sorry. And it's a really hard thing to balance. So in a nutshell, all about love is about everything. Yeah. Everything. It's just about managing your emotions and that it's okay. A lot of juice, a lot of fun. And I'm in my, I don't know, I'm in my like, this is me. I won't tell you the slogan.

33:32Alan Carr:For those listening, Judy is miming a lasso kind of... Yeah, I mean, this kind of... Reverse cowgirl? Reverse cowgirl. Yeah, for those of you listening, Judy's doing the reverse cowgirl. Would like to. Yeah, I'm in this kind of like... On Lee, she's doing it on Lee, if you're listening. With rum. She hasn't dropped the Dr. Lucent. She's still got that in her hand. Where's the doctor thing from? Oh, the doctor thing is I got honorary doctorate from the University of East London for my contributions to arts. Oh, that's amazing. That was, I mean, when the letter, my manager sent it to me and I don't know if they exactly knew what it was.

34:14And so I read it and I was like, what? No, no, I must be reading. And I said, do you understand what this is? And they were like, yeah, I think they want to give you some award. I was like, no, they want to give me a doctorate. And it's a university that I went to, especially being someone who was dyslexic. it meant so much to me um and when i went to uni i was a single parent i was also caring for my mom at first and then she passed away unfortunately as i started to do uni and i was pregnant so it holds so much grounds for a lot of for me it's not for me but a lot of people from the from any community that has faced adversities and then was told that they couldn't elevate their life yeah You know, like you can.

34:53And that was before getting into entertainment. So for me, that award was for all the other people that see something in me that they connect with.

35:00Alan Carr:Yeah. You know, whether that is you being a single parent, whether that's you being working class, whether that's you being a black woman, like whatever it is, from east to south, like whatever you see in me that you feel like you connect with, that award was for them. Yeah. Oh, I know. Always crying. I know, I know. Let me add to that. And my parents came over here in the Windrush. You know, they came in the Windrush era. where I'm just trying to make him cry more. And my parents were on a boat. Right. Now I'm crying. Right, Judes. We are, this is obviously a wine podcast. It's a drinks podcast and we've got our lovely drinks.

35:34Alan Carr:So we're going to bring your wine up in a bit. But before we do that, I want to talk to you. Well, we've got two things more to talk to you about. Celebrity sabotage. I did ITV's Palooza. You know, we all went there. Oh, yeah. And it showed all the stuff that was coming up, dramas and stuff. Celebrity sabotage. Everyone was pissing themselves. The reaction, I've never heard a roar like it. It's just so funny. And what an ingenious thing. It's so funny. It's insane. For people who haven't seen it already, what is it? So there's like myself, there's Joel Domi, there's Sam Thompson, and then there's GK Baring.

36:15And we're in this house, but we're in the basement. And basically there's like these TV shows that are made up. You know, like The Apprentice, but it's called Sutton Murs. Don't ask me what, because we're two rums in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we make up these shows and then they come in and we've got to sabotage them. So like the one where...

36:33Alan Carr:And the funny thing is, TV now is so mental and crazy with the ideas. Some of these could be actual shows. Could be. They could be. We had like a best couple show. We had like the best dog show. We had this SOS kind of show. It was insane. It was absolutely insane. And these people coming here really, really wanting to win this. But they're coming from their heart not to win no money because there's no money in the show that they think. And so we try to sabotage them. So say, for example, we had a Bake Off one. Oh, I absolutely love this one. It wasn't Bake Off, but it was called The Special Bake or whatever it was called, right?

37:07And then I was the host. I just channeled in my Alison Hammond. I was great. Love her for that. And I was the host. So they had to make, like, bread or something. And then I actually, like, we swapped the salt, sugar for the salt. so things like that and every time we were successful we earned their money

37:25Alan Carr:because you can't get the celebrity you, Sam, Joel and GK you can't get caught we can't but if we do get caught which you've seen on some of the episodes then we have to say to that person this is what we're doing do you want to be on the insider or do you want to leave and they've decided to be on the insider of course you would I mean it's absolutely crazy there was the one that came out a few weeks ago I nearly lost my hair What happened? What didn't happen? Is that where you came in like Frazzled? Watch that episode Half an hour before My hairline was hair When I came in It was back there It was running away from me What was so funny Joel didn't know how to say it But he looked at me You know when someone's looking at you But they're looking at a different particular spot and he was like, I don't know what it is, but you look different.

38:21My forehead's grown an inch.

38:24Alan Carr:That's what's happened. I don't know what it is, but you look different. They had me running. I could hear my... I could hear my... SOS. I was in the... I was on the floor like a bush. I was like, what has happened to my life? I love Joel navigating that. Do you remember when we were together and you were putting cream on your legs? Yeah, yeah. She's creaming your legs and she goes to me. Judy goes, are my legs dry? Well, I assumed that meant has the cream she has just applied to her leg dried. And I went, yeah, your legs are dry. What?

39:05The black people in the room behind the camera are laughing the hardest. They know what this means.

39:11Alan Carr:I went, they're dry. I said, they're dry. I went, you never say that to a black woman. I was like, what's going on?

39:25That day, he learned. I was like, I swear, I'm going into every TV channel saying, I feel there should be a creaming consultant person on set.

39:36Alan Carr:It's very important. You've got a little diversity box. Tick that box, bitch. Bring someone in who can check my skin before I go on that camera. Like an intimacy coordinator. Yeah, let's have a creaming coordinator. Creaming coordinator. Walking around, checking all the black people's ankles and the phone off their fingers. This is important shit. And we're delighted to have you around our table right now. Yes. I want to talk to you about your table, our table with Judy Love. I'm all about the segues today. What does this rum do today? You're being really professional today. I can't believe it.

40:09Alan Carr:I'm shocked as you are. Honestly, this rum is dangerous. You have kids who get your mortgage paid off by somebody. um so our table yeah yeah so our table with judy love your podcast so you released this was it last year last year yeah and i will just say season two is on its way exciting we've had some beautiful guests and it's really a mixed blend of different artists um with actors singers producers um and with a blend of beautiful Caribbean fine dining food. And I think it's not often that, you know, particular people sit in a room together. Usually, you know, if you're being interviewed, it's like actors and comedians, but you don't really see the ones behind or artists to a certain extent or writers.

40:54So it's a mixed bag and it's absolutely amazing. Well, I watched series one

41:00Alan Carr:and I thought it felt like a dinner party. Yeah. When you invite loads of different new friends, some of them haven't met each other before, You're all kind of in similar realms because the common denominator is you and you know them all, but it felt like you're bringing people together. And I really like the premise of which you've always championed where you say, you know, if you can't get a seat at the table, make your own table. Yeah. You know, and the amazing guests that we have on are, you know, definitely from a diverse background in regards to where they're from or the artistry that they're in or the life that they've lived.

41:32And I think it's really important that these voices are heard because I think, unfortunately, the world likes us to think that if we don't look the same, we haven't got nothing in common. And thankfully now we're getting so integrated internationally. And that's the same when it comes to culture, sexuality or even age. But thanks now because we have so much, you know, connection internationally. We've got social media. We're realising like us three sitting here. Yeah. We connect. and so that's why I hope that our table shows everybody they might not look like you or they might have not had the same experience as you but there's something that you can connect with

42:08Alan Carr:on some kind of level great conversation great conversation great swapping ideas swapping inspiration and that's what it's all about my team makes me look good you know so yeah I'm sorry I wasn't supposed to say that loud that was in my head but yeah it's absolutely it's a I'm you know I'll say it's a really great show and I'm really looking forward to this season yeah when does it come out or do we not know yet we don't know yet hopefully end of May okay keep an eye out right Judy we can't have you here without doing a little bit of wine and we've got we've got I'm going to swap in this cheers I'm blowing my bloody head off I know I know babes can I say I went to carnival last year and I cooked rice and peas oven chicken Tilda rice and beef that's our sponsor Tilda rice and beef it was Tilda that I made with the rice and peas.

42:57It was. And I cooked rice and peas and I cooked oven chicken and I cooked macaroni and cheese and I made us all eat before we went carnival and this was like at 11.30. And then this little beast here, I filled up like a little bottle with this, a little bit of canberry juice and I realised when I came home at 4am I hadn't eaten for 14 hours.

43:16Alan Carr:And how were you the next day? That's like a Zen pick in a bottle. Yeah, I survived on this. Please always remember to drink responsibly. Please, at Notting Hill Carnival. Please inject responsibly. How was I in the morning? Should I tell you how I was? My friend was sending me a video and a picture of me doing the splits on the kitchen counter. So I was all right. Oh, my God, you did the splits. On the kitchen counter. Wow. That's Cirque du Soleil shit. Cirque du Soleil this. Yeah, yeah.

43:47I couldn't believe it. I said, when did I get up there, girl?

43:52Alan Carr:I hate that. You know when you get too pissed and people show you what you did in the night? It's like, is this CGI? Is this AI? Yeah, it's like, no, it was me. J.I. That's what it was. J.I. We've got to go carnival together. Yeah, I live from there. I can get you on a float. I want to be on the float. You want to be on a float? Let me see a waist. Let me see a waist. Let me see a waist. Ding, ding, ding. Whoa, ding-a-ling-a-ling. Oh, hello. Oh, no, I think I need to know. You've got a face. Can I do one and a two and a three Macarena? That's the wrong culture. Cancel. Hopefully. We all kind of music, but not necessarily.

44:35Cha-cha Slice. No, no. It's more like, rock up your mumbo, rock up your mumbo. You're about to rock it up. You know, isn't it so different?

44:41Alan Carr:Because that is so much more fun. What do white people have? We have, oh, the okey-cokey. Or Morris dancing. But we love it. Come on. If you hear that, we do. Now, who taught me to do the Dutty Wine? Who? Rihanna. Oh, there we go. I'm Shetty Man. Rihanna. That's the butterfly. Oh, my God. Dutty Wine. Show us the caterpillar. Wait, let me see the Dutty Wine. You're not seeing my caterpillar. Not again. Let me see the Dutty Wine. Let me see the Dutty Wine. No, no, no. The Dutty Wine is this. Yeah, yeah. We're going carnival together. Yeah. Dr. Lucent. It's on his neck It's on my neck I love carnival It's not going to be like Hey call me, call me Are we going to do carnival?

45:26We're going to go on a float We're going to be on ITV 6 o 'clock We live in the area I've got a bloody cum in my backyard Yeah and then I'll cook food Yes Oh my god Let's have our own front yard party At carnival Yes yes yes Yeah let's talk this out We get flyers We get everything We get lots of equipment to help us Get batty riders Batty riders I've been going to gym I'm ready for this Yeah So we're going to do carnival together.

45:49Alan Carr:Batsy Ryder means something very different in the gay community.

45:58Really?

46:00Alan Carr:I don't know. Anyway. Let's move on. Is it bottoms up?

46:15Alan Carr:Okay. Reset, please. For anyone who's still listening, why?

46:23Alan Carr:Wine, more like. Okay, so talk to us. How many wines are we tasting? Just this one. Thank God. I hate that rum. No more. No, this is fine. I like this. I don't usually go for a Riesling. And it's got... So tell us why you... Is this your favourite type of wine? Because you do like a rosé champagne. I do like a rosé champagne. Yeah. However, I said this the other day on the show I was on, it's Jane Moore. Oh? That's actually moved me over to this. Really? Jane Moore. A few months back, maybe a year or so, I was out with Jane Moore after the swimming, and was having a few drinks. She likes wine, doesn't she?

47:02Yeah, and we had this nice wine, and it was so light, bounce on the tongue, a little bit of spice in it, but it was delicate, a little bit, you know, coming through. And I was like, what's this? And she said, it's a Riesling. Is that how you say it? Yeah, a Riesling. We don't know if Riesling or Riesling. Oh, Riesling. Listen, whatever it is. Yeah. I took a picture of it and I went to my local wine shop. Oh. Yeah, which I absolutely love. Shout out. And they introduced me, showed me what it was, and I was like, this is...

47:31Alan Carr:Because I hate the clack. This has got no clack, has it? Oh. It's nice, isn't it? Oh, this is not... This is a Dr. Lucen Erziger Versgarten Riesling Cabernet. Is it German or...? I think so. Yeah. There's another that's just kind of closest, but it's a little bit more sweet. Could be a dessert wine. It's got a little bit of a lychee aftertaste. Lychee? Do you like a lychee martini? I do. But when you get the nice wine, which is like, if you can't get the rice, then there's another one. I can't remember what it's called. It begins with G, and it's usually from Austria. It's got a nice little lychee undertone, and it's got a slight bit of like a little spice, but it's usually like white pepper.

48:11And it just bounces on your tongue.

48:13Alan Carr:Yeah, well, it says here we've got citrus nose, orange blossom and light herbs. The palette is juicy citrus, peach pear, so that's a similar term. Peach is what I said. Yeah. Slight tropical hint, light bodied, off dry, high acidity with a slight spicy edge, which is where you get. So carnival etiquette, would we not, when you come to my house, seriously, would we go straight on the rum or would we open the Dr. Lucent? We are a little bit bougie. Let's just say it, Harry. There's nothing wrong with that. No, I think we should embrace that. Yeah, I think we should embrace it. Do you know what I mean?

48:46Alan Carr:So what, should I get some champagne? A little bit of champagne. Or Prosecco? Oh, God, so, okay. Okay. And the thing is, even champagne now, the best isn't there. I've now moved to this. Because I feel it's lighter. Yeah. Digestive-wise, I feel like it's better for me. Yeah. And I think that we would start, when we start our bashment extravaganga, or whatever it's called, what's the word? Travaganza. What's Bashment? What is Bashment? Bashment is the music. Oh right, sorry. Yeah, so we have our little Bashment party at yours. He's doing the best out of all of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even have an outdoor space.

49:26Alan Carr:Yeah. And when we use your... And you don't want to hear the baby crying. This is what I mean. So when we use yours... I'm doing the dutty one, I can hear... Mwah! Mwah! Shut up! She does a baby crying. Yeah, I do. Mwah! Oh my! I'm triggered. Oh my God, I'm milking.

50:02So, as I was saying, when we have this bashment, we're going to drink this as we jerk the chicken. So you're going to pair Dr. Lucent with the jerk chicken? We'll do some jerk fish, we'll do some jerk chicken. Nice. So it's before we get completely mash-up. Mash-up. So we'll drink this so it looks, this is, oh, hello, come here, yes, come here. Yes. And then we'll move straight on to the rum.

50:28Alan Carr:Yeah. And that's when we'll change clothes, the pum pum shorts will come out. Pum pum, batty riders. Batty riders, batty riders for you. Yeah, batty riders. It will come out and then we'll get into the rum and we'll be nice. but this is nicer when you're in your south-facing garden. I did pick well. Come on, south-facing garden. Judy, do you think you've changed?

50:57Alan Carr:You're adaptable. Adaptable. Yes, yes. Listen, can I just say? It's so nice. This is a beautiful pick. I'm just going to put this in my bag. Yeah, you can have it. Thank you so much. With your rum. Like, literally, it's in my back. Thank you. Have I changed shit?

51:21You know what? Is there any more? I'm going to take the hand soap as well. I mean, yeah, this is beautiful. It's absolutely fantastic. If they want to sponsor me, I'm here for it.

51:35Alan Carr:Listen, Celebrity Sabotage, ITVX. more episodes coming out right also got Our Table so you can still watch if you haven't seen series one of Our Table it's on YouTube Our Table it's also on Spotify all the podcast platforms and and then let's not forget and Betrayed Betrayed that's out at Christmas that's out at Christmas yeah and you will be singing like when they turn the lights on at Oxford Street is that right? that's right Betrayed right Mariah is shitting herself she is she's out of it out of it love you Mariah but I not yet when's the single out not yet love Mariah but I can sing and move at the same time and my Amazon special is out well it's my special on Amazon the first tour the one like Judy Love one like Judy Love is out at the Palladium that we were talking about earlier.

52:36Alan Carr:It's on Amazon. And can I just say, because a lot of you have been messaging me and saying to me, Jude, when I come to you All About the Love tour, is it the same thing? No, Mitch. It's not. I love you. All About the Love is a fresh, brand new show. Tickets available on your website. I'm in Cambridge and Salford this weekend. I'm with you on those ones. Oh my God. Let's get a Dr. Lucen. All I can say, I love you guys and this podcast is absolutely fabulous. It's exactly what the world needs. Thank you. So although I've got our table, it's been beautiful to be at your table. Oh, Judy Love, everybody.

53:12Alan Carr:Bottoms Up. If you've enjoyed this episode of Bottoms Up, you know where to find us. Every Wednesday, a new episode drops on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. And if you do love us, then please do leave us a review. We want to hear from you as well with your questions, your queries, your dilemmas and your quandaries. at Bottoms Up Show on socials. Do slide into our DMs or contact us, bottomsup at listen.co.uk. Bottoms Up with Alan Carr and Lee Peart is a Listen production. And always remember to drink responsibly. For more information, visit drinkaware.co.uk. Big thank you to our brilliant guest, Judy Love.

53:52Alan Carr:One last thing to say. Bottoms Up! Woo! Woo!

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