A Tony Robbin's Masterclass On Designing Your Extraordinary Life

0:09Tony Robbins:I have learned from the master of personal development himself, the one and only Tony Robbins. Now, after spending six days deeply immersed in person with Tony Robbins at Date With Destiny, I wanted to share with you the learnings from those really intense six days. So I'm a big believer that when we learn from each other, we're able to pay it forward. So, you know, Tony Robbins is absolutely at the top of his game. There is no one better in the world than him at coaching leadership. He's coached every US president apart from Trump, you know, elite sports people, movie stars, you name it. And of course, he has actually coached millions and millions of people all around the world on how to step up and create the life of their design.

1:09Tony Robbins:So date with destiny, how privileged I felt to be there for six days with Tony. So when you get to learn from the master himself, Tony Robbins, then it would be a crime for me not to pass that on to all of you. So I'm actually going to take you through some of the really key things that stood out for me that I learned from Tony Robbins. So that, you know, we can share that. I can share that with you. You can then apply it to your own life, your own career, your own business so that you get the benefits of the investment that I made by actually spending those six immersive days. So you are going to want to grab a pen and paper.

1:54Tony Robbins:There's a lot here to go through. And, you know, if you're watching this on YouTube, then please hit the subscribe button. If you're listening to this on the podcast, again, please do subscribe. and if we're not connected on social media, let's get connected. You're going to find me everywhere. Jeanette Linfoot, two N's and two T's in Jeanette and Brave Bold Brilliant, which are our amazing personal development, business development strategy pages that allow you to step up and grow both yourself as a leader, but also how to build incredible teams and lead your business into the next phase of growth.

2:30Tony Robbins:So I'm so excited to bring all of this to you because it's going to transform your life just like it's transformed my life. So let's kick off then. As I say, grab a pen and paper. You're going to want to take lots of notes here. So the first thing really, before you launch into any personal development program or any, you know, program of mentoring, coaching, etc it's always a great thing to do to take stock of where you are so you know we've got to remember that the meaning that we put through to things and what we focus on is really where our energy goes and where energy goes that's where focus is and the results show so you know the first thing i would say ask yourself some really key questions before you kick off so the first question is let's always start with the positives, always.

3:24Tony Robbins:So what is great in your life right now? Write it down. What is great in your life? It might be personally, it might be professionally, it might be your finances, it might be your relationships, it might be the business that you're growing, it might be a business that you're just exiting actually. So what is great in your life? It might be your fitness, it might be your mental well-being. So there will be things that are great in your life. so write those down first and foremost okay that's number one number two let's then move into what's missing what's missing from your life it might be that your finances are not where you want them to be it might be that you have you know a loving relationship but there's just not enough passion in it or you know it might be that you've always had a desire to start a business to build a business but you've never quite had the courage to get there or it might be that you feel you know maybe your career isn't progressing at the rate that you want.

4:22Tony Robbins:It might be that you're not in a relationship and you would like to be in a relationship. So what's missing? Or maybe your health and fitness isn't where it wants to be. So what's missing in your life? So remember, number one, we've started with what's great. Number two, what's missing? So then the third question that we move to is, you know, what's actually prevented you in the past from getting what you want.

4:47Jeannette:And be honest. Be really honest with yourself because the easiest person to lie to is yourself, right? And when we do work on ourselves, on our business, on our

5:00Tony Robbins:careers, on our mindset, you know, we're the ones that can benefit from that and everyone else around us. So be honest. You know, what's prevented you? What's held you back? You know, do you have maybe some limiting beliefs about who you are as a person? You know, is it that, you know, maybe you've had imposter syndrome, you know, that's really kind of, you know, held you back from doing what you want over the years? So what is it that's actually prevented you? Is it a lack of knowledge in a certain area? Is it a lack of finances? What is it? What's actually, you know, prevented you in the past because very often it's an inside job.

5:41Tony Robbins:It starts with us first.

5:45Jeannette:Okay, so then the next question, question four, what would an extraordinary life look like for you?

5:53Tony Robbins:And, you know, don't hold back here. I would say write everything down. What would that extraordinary life look like? You know, is it around where you live? Is it the professional success that you have? Is it the relationships, your fitness, your wellbeing, you know, all those different aspects. But, you know, what would an extraordinary life look like? You know, and most importantly, an extraordinary life on your terms, right? Because we have the power, every single person, regardless of their circumstances, has the power to create a life by design. So what would that extraordinary life look like for you?

6:39Tony Robbins:And think big, don't think small, because that's going to give you the motivation to actually go for it big time. So then question five, what needs to shift inside of you in order to make that happen? All right. What needs to shift? Is it your mindset? Is it fear? Is it your worry about judgment, maybe? What is it? What is it that needs to shift inside you? Remember, it's always an inside job. And then the sixth question is, what would life be like? Imagine yourself there. What would life be like if you've got rid of all those blockers and you've really pushed yourself out of your comfort zone into that extraordinary life that you're building for yourselves?

7:40Tony Robbins:so powerful really simple questions isn't it really simple but super super powerful so the next thing that i want to share with you just so much preparation day on the first day at date with destiny with tony robbins was about putting these foundations in so what i'm taking you through now are the foundations of a lot of this stuff so we all have different personality types, right? And this isn't about being better or worse. Everyone, we are who we are. We are who we are. We have different personality types. And actually, the way that Tony Robbins looks at personality types is five different types of personalities.

8:21Tony Robbins:The first one is wood. The second one is fire. The third one is earth. The fourth one is gold or metal. And the fifth one is water. Okay, now the way when I do psychometric profiling, these are great five different categories that Tony Robbins applies. When we work with organizations, very similar principles here, we bring in luminous spark psychometrics, and that's based on color energies of red, blue, yellow, and green. okay now again there is no right or wrong but what lumina spark does it looks at your underlying personality it looks at your everyday and it looks at your overextended when you're under pressure but the point about this is it doesn't matter what personality profiling tool you use some are better than worse better than others right some are really good lumina spark is my preference after 30 years of using different psychometrics but the Tony Robbins one is great you could also have DISC profile or you might have Insights or Myers-Briggs which is one of the very original um you know personality profile in tours but regardless of that the point is that when you actually understand your own personality type and your profile and when you understand those around you, you're able to then understand what drives you personally, but also how you can relate to somebody else that might be your polar opposite, actually.

10:01Tony Robbins:And it could be in a relationship one to one, it might be as part of a team. As I say, when we run our executive edge programme, which is deeply immersive three days in, you know, in the room together with a senior leadership team or a board we look at the team dynamics okay based on those different personality profiles where are the strengths in the team where are there maybe some areas of you know kind of blind spots to be aware of so whatever i would say to you is if you haven't done a personality profile then get one done for yourself because it's going to be really insightful and there are loads there that you can actually choose from but it was interesting that tony robbins date with destiny he actually did a whole session on personality profiles, which just shows how important it is so that we understand ourselves, but we also understand how we relate to other people.

10:55Tony Robbins:Now, the power of effective blaming. Who has ever been in a situation where something's gone wrong, someone has hurt you, someone has maybe said something or disappointed you or let you down or a situation hasn't gone as you would have liked. Now, this might be from childhood. It might be a recent event. And, you know, human nature is often to blame, to blame the situation, to blame that other person for all the negative things that have happened to us as a result of that interaction. But here's the thing. when you actually blame someone else, you make them responsible for what's going on in your life, which means that you are giving away your power.

11:45Tony Robbins:You're giving away your own control of your life. You know, and if things had gone the way that you wanted, you know, would your life really have been better? Maybe or maybe not, because life is a balance. And very often what can happen is when there's a situation or someone wrongs you or you get hurt, etc. It can actually mean that you get catapulted forward and have the motivation to actually do something great. So out of every dark situation, every negative situation, every relationship that has caused you pain, it's actually because you're overvaluing the impact of that event that it's had on the negative side of your life.

12:39Tony Robbins:But you're undervaluing the positive impact. So this tool, which is called the power of effective blaming, it flips it on its head. Remember, life doesn't happen to you, it happens for you, right? So if you're going to blame a situation or a person, it's only fair that you blame the positives as well as the negatives, right? Because that then propels you forward in order to really take a balanced view. So I encourage you, have a think about, you know, maybe a person that you're going to blame for something that has happened. So, and what are you going to effectively blame them for? Now, if you have a conversation, if you have the courage to have a conversation with someone that actually has been, maybe you've held some negative feelings for quite some time towards someone, can you imagine if you can think of all the things negatively that have come from that relationship or that conversation or whatever happened but then think of all the positive things that have happened think of all the positives because you know certainly I would say when you know in my situation I I often felt you know like I was because I was a third daughter that even though I was loved, I was always looking for attention.

14:11Tony Robbins:Oh, look at me, look at me, et cetera. But, you know, and so I held some resentment towards that. But the reality was that actually has propelled me forward with my career, with my businesses to actually push out of my comfort zone and to go and achieve great things. So actually, you know, the effective blaming, it really does set you free. you know and I've spent a lot of time while I was doing date with destiny with Tony Robbins and thinking about okay well what are the situations and things that in the past you know haven't gone

14:45Jeannette:well for me and I've made loads of mistakes loads of things have gone wrong people have let me down you know etc and it goes that's just life but actually flipping it on its head has totally

14:56Tony Robbins:set me free. It's really set me free to actually focus on who I am. So who are you going to effectively blame? And honestly, I will really encourage you to do this. It will make such a difference to you. So effective blaming, that was one of the things that really stood out for me from the first day with Tony Robbins' Date With Destiny. So I'm now going to move on to one of the driving forces, one of the main driving forces. It's really force number one that drives not only your life, but also, you know, how you might respond to a certain situation. So no matter who you are in the world or what you do, there's a common force that's driving and shaping all of your emotions and actions.

15:54Tony Robbins:And it determines the quality of our lives and ultimately our destinies. So this is super powerful. Now, these are primal needs, you know, and they've been encoded into our nervous system over centuries and centuries. You know, and although each one of us is unique and, you know, especially in our own way, we're all very much wired in a similar way. Okay. So I'm going to take you through now. As I say, grab a pen and paper. There are six, six human needs. The first one is the need for certainty. So stability, knowing that you feel safe. Now, this could be from a materialistic point of view. It might be in a relationship.

16:42Tony Robbins:It might be in a job, etc. You know, so everyone has a need for certainty at certain points of their life. And this is, there are four primal needs. This is the first primal need. The second need is the need for uncertainty or variety. Okay, now some people might err more towards the need for certainty than the need for uncertainty. You know, that's where often people like routine, they know they go to work at a certain time, they get back every day, they get a paycheck, they've got certainty around where they live, who they spend time with, etc. The routine gives them certainty and reassurance.

17:25Tony Robbins:The need for uncertainty is around changing your state, right? And it could be the need for variety, adventure, new experiences, learning something new. It could be around physical activity, you know, and the mood swings, entertainment, all of this kind of need for variety and stimulation. So we all have these needs. I am very much on much more towards the need for uncertainty because I like variety, constant learning, adventure, new cultures, starting new businesses, reaching out, having new clients that we can serve and help step up into their greatness. So uncertainty. The third primal need is the need for significance.

18:15Tony Robbins:Okay. Now, everybody needs to feel special and important in some way. And people will seek significance through obtaining recognition for their achievements very often. And you're looking for significance from other people to say, well done. And other people to make you feel significant. And when people feel insignificant, they make themselves feel significant by often displaying emotions around anger, for example. Or others might try to feel significant due to the size or complexity of their problems. Or, you know, sometimes it can play out in a human way of people making themselves feel significant by putting other people down.

19:04Tony Robbins:So they are less than. So the need for significance is point number three. The fourth primal need is the need for connection and love. Now, this could be, you know, it could be a romantic relationship. It could be a human connection with, you know, people in your community. It could be a person, a value. It gives you a sense of identity, a sense of connection. So that is the fourth primal need. Then there are two more, more spiritual needs, not religious, more spiritual needs. And the fifth one is the need for growth. OK, so at the end of the day, everything is either growing or dying. Right. So we're like plants as human beings, we're either growing or dying.

19:54Tony Robbins:So it doesn't matter how much money you have necessarily or how many people acknowledge you or what you've achieved. unless you feel like you're making progress, you're growing, you might never find true happiness or unfulfillment. Okay, so need for growth. And then the sixth need, which is the second spiritual need, is the need for contribution. And this is really about giving back. You know, it's about serving a greater purpose than just for your own requirements. So the six driving forces, the six human needs, I'll recap. Number one, certainty. Number two, uncertainty stroke variety. Number three, significance.

20:40Tony Robbins:Number four, connection stroke love. Number five, the need for growth. And number six, the need for contribution.

20:48Jeannette:So, you know, when you're actually looking at what drives you,

20:55Tony Robbins:have a think about, you know, your situation, whether it's professionally, from a business point of view, from a personal point of view, from a relationship perspective, you know, and think about what are your primary needs? What are the needs that you focus on? Because, what you might find is actually there's been a certain need that has driven your behaviour for many years and that may be serving you or it may not be serving you. All right. Now, when I was with Tony Robbins, what he said was if your primary need, your number one need is the need for significance, that can be quite dangerous because it often means that you're never truly fulfilled

21:46Jeannette:and you never truly feel good enough, right? Now, I don't know if any of you can recognise that, but certainly that is something which I have definitely suffered with throughout, you know, my career really and my 50 plus years on this planet.

22:03Tony Robbins:So the need for significance has driven me in a lot of ways.

22:08Jeannette:You know, it's driven me to build the businesses that I've built. It's driven me to, you know, have the career professionally in the corporate world that I did, you know, where I started at the bottom and I worked my way up to the CEO. When I look back, as much as I

22:25Tony Robbins:feel very grateful for my life and I have loved my life and I feel very proud of what I've achieved professionally, actually a lot of the time it was really searching for that significance, you know, that well done Jeanette, well done. But really when someone is looking for significance and there's ego often comes in here, what they're really looking for is love. well that's really what's going on underneath there so the six human needs are so so powerful

22:56Jeannette:and i'm going to cover a little bit more detail on this when it comes to your sphere of influence and what needs are you fulfilling so we're going to come back to that but have a think about yourself, you know, what are the six human needs that you focus on most, right? So the next thing I want to talk about are the five givens. Now, there are some things in life which we won't have

23:28Tony Robbins:control over, you know, and actually we can get very frustrated and the reality is control is just an illusion, right? Because often we're forced to let go of things that we want to hold on to, aren't we? Or we're pushed into a situation or the market changes or, you know, sometimes a relationship, you know, doesn't work out the way you want. And actually, if we can accept that there are five givens in life, then when you know that that's likely to happen,

24:06Jeannette:you're going to be much more relaxed about it, much more chilled out about life, business, work, etc. So what are the five givens? Write these down. Number one, everything changes and

24:21Tony Robbins:ends. Nothing lasts forever. Things renew themselves, move through cycles, evolution. Nothing, nothing lasts. Everything changes and ends. So in particular, when, you know, we talk about even in a professional environment or a work environment, oh, you know, going through a big change programme, you don't have to work at changing. Change will happen anyway. But if you could embrace it, and a lot of the work I do with executive teams, with leadership teams, with one-to-one people that I business mentor, you know, we work through the emotional cycle of change. Because once you accept that change is going to happen anyway, you're more prepared for it.

25:08Tony Robbins:It's less of a shock. You don't try to hang on to things. So that's the first given. Everything changes and ends. The second one, life is not always fair. I know, it's a shock, but it isn't. Life is not always fair. Get over it. So you just have to accept that that is a reality. And if you can accept that, you're going to have a lot more peace and be a lot more able to cope with things when they don't, you know, go your way and life isn't fair. Number three, things don't always go according to plan. How true is that? Now, I love having a plan. I think if you know where you're heading, you've got a far greater chance at getting there.

25:58Tony Robbins:But the plan changes, doesn't it? Things come along, opportunities come up that you didn't expect, or maybe you get hit by an uncertain situation in the market. You know, and we sometimes sense that there's a larger plan at work, don't we? But the thing is, plans don't normally work out exactly as we intend. But if you accept that, then you're much more robust at dealing with adapting and adapting your plan. The fourth given, pain is part of life. You are going to feel pain. It might be physical pain. It might be emotional pain. It might be financial pain. You know, and pain is part of life. But here's the thing.