Embrace the Chaos: Demi Schweers on Turning Health Challenges into a Platform for Women's Advocacy

0:01So today on Brave Bobrin, I am joined by Demi Schweers, who is a wellness entrepreneur, a content creator and an IVF mum who has turned some of life's biggest challenges into a powerful mission. Now Demi has built an online community of over 2 million people by sharing her candid journey through life, infertility, PCOS and life with multiple sclerosis. She's now the founder of Iris Nutrition which is a science-backed women-led brand created to support women's real life needs with innovative powdered supplements designed as rituals not just pills. Now Demi's story is one of resilience, authenticity and purpose.

0:51You know really showing us that even the most personal struggles can become the foundation for positive impact. Now I'm your host Jeanette Linfoot and I'm an entrepreneur, an investor, corporate CEO and strategic advisor. You know and I've built businesses worth billions and now through this podcast I bring you conversations with extraordinary people like Demi to inspire you to be brave, bold and brilliant in your own career and your own life. So let's get into the show. I hope you enjoy it.

1:27So welcome to Brave Bobbler. I'm here today with Demi Schweres all the way over from America, Pittsburgh in the US. Nice to see you Demi. How are you?

1:37Demi Schweers:I'm doing great. Thank you so much for having me here today. Oh well it took us a while to get our diaries aligned but we finally made it happen we navigated the five hour time zone and here we are we did it we did it I'm so proud of us exactly exactly there's many reasons to be proud and we're going to get into all of that but um so so Demi you've had quite um quite a journey in your life so far and the there's a blend of personal stuff very emotional heartwarming um aspects to your life but also how you've turn that into helping other people and really becoming a massive influencer and voice um out there in social media and of course with your business as well um so there's a lot for us to to talk about um but before we get into all of the detail can you just tell us a little bit about the health side of your journey because that really is the foundation of a lot of what's actually led you to where you are today isn't it demi so if you don't mind just sharing some of that with us and then we're gonna sort of go from there if that's all right yeah absolutely so I think my the story really begins in 2020 um there's the year my husband and I got married very exciting time and I feel like pretty much from there a lot of things went downhill in terms of my health and diagnoses um I was first diagnosed um with a condition called multiple sclerosis and And that was like a very preliminary change of my life.

3:08Demi Schweers:I spent two months in the hospital trying to understand what was going on and had a team of doctors and experts kind of guiding me through that. And it kind of kicked off the catalyst of just dealing with different health conditions. Following that diagnosis of multiple sclerosis, I felt comfortable enough with my husband to start our journey to parenthood. and we had an unfortunate year of infertility. We took a bunch of blood work testing, panels, trying to figure out what was going on with our bodies and why we just weren't getting pregnant and no one had any answers for us at that time. I did a procedure called an HCG, which checks if your fallopian tubes are open and have ease of flow.

3:57Demi Schweers:And at first we got the news back that, yep, everything's good to go. And about two weeks later, we found out that that actually wasn't the case. My right fallopian tube was blocked. And about a couple days after that, we found out we were pregnant. And it was an exciting time, but also nerve wracking because what is this blocked fallopian tube mean? Ultimately something called a hydrosalpinx and that fluid leaked into my uterus and we had a miscarriage. During that process, I had not a great experience with my healthcare provider and I ended up switching to a different fertility clinic. And when I switched, they said, send us all the testing that you've done, all the blood work and everything, and let's get a full scope before we dive into this.

4:41Demi Schweers:And the first question they asked me is, what are you doing to manage your PCOS? And I looked at her very confused. I'm pretty sure my jaw was just dropped. I was like, what are you talking about? I don't have that. And they were just as shocked as I was to that question as to my response. And they said, we're looking at everything you sent over and your provider never told you you had PCOS. They never released that information to you. And they hadn't. And that was really the start of my diagnosis. I was kind of in the dark. Nobody shared that with me. Nobody told me what that meant until we made that change.

5:19Demi Schweers:And I advocated for myself and went to a different fertility clinic. And we started managing my PCOS through a multitude of vitamins and supplements. And And we did get pregnant again, but unfortunately that was an ectopic pregnancy where I lost, I ended up removing my fallopian tube with the hydrosal pinks and the other tube had the ectopic and head scar tissue in it. So my husband and I decided to go the IVF route just to bypass the fallopian tubes in general. And thankfully that was a successful transfer. And we got pregnant with our daughter. And then four months after that, I was pregnant again with our son naturally.

5:55Demi Schweers:So it was a crazy health experience full of so many roller coasters, but that's kind of the catalyst to it all. Wow. And for those that don't know what PCOS is, can you just explain that for us, Demi? I know you're probably like you could be joining the medical profession with all of the expertise you've now got. But yeah, just for those that are listening that might not know what that is, can you just explain what the condition is and what it stands for? because I was struggling to pronounce it. It's a mouthful, yes. PCOS stands for polycystic ovarian syndrome. Essentially, it's a common hormone condition that affects people with ovaries.

6:36Demi Schweers:And usually, you really see it the most during those reproductive years. About one in 10 women have PCOS. And essentially, there are people who have PCOS, they don't have routine cycles. they're not ovulating so that's kind of where a lot of people are realizing that they have PCOS but irregularity within their cycles you can have a lot of hormonal imbalances presenting in acne and hair loss and weight gain bloating fatigue are all really common symptoms of PCOS right so you had a lot going on of course you had the MS as well on top of all yes yes I was really just whammied with a whole bunch of things wow and and and the the MS side of things How does that manifest itself for you?

7:23Because everyone's different, aren't they? That has that.

7:26Demi Schweers:And just in terms of day to day living, really, how does it come out for you? Yeah. Yeah. It's MS is interesting. As you said, it affects everyone different. It's one of those snowflake diseases. For me, I'm a little bit atypical in some sense. I know most people don't do well in the heat. I am fine in the heat. The cold is really what triggers me. But on a day to day basis, I definitely have, you know, brain fog, fatigue. some memory issues. I've lost some fine motor skills in my right hand, which is my dominant hand. So right now we're kind of at the stage of just managing it day over day and making small lifestyle changes and using more ergonomic things.

8:05Demi Schweers:Within the past year, I've gone to PT and working on that strength, but it's more of just a nerve issue. So there's no healing that unfortunately. But I do have my annual MRIs to make sure that we're not progressing. I'm on, a medication. That's an injection three times a week. But really MS mostly has shifted my outlook on things. I'm a very type A person. I like to plan. I have to-do lists. I have all these things. And MS has kind of made me slow down a little bit and kind of just appreciate the here and now and know that tomorrow may look very different. I could wake up tomorrow and lose my vision again or lose my ability to walk.

8:44Demi Schweers:And I have to really just go with the flow every single day. Gosh, yeah. So that must be so difficult. Like you say, if you're, you know, a kind of person that likes structure and order and organising your day, and of course, you're building your business as well, which we're going to talk about Irish nutrition shortly. Yeah, it must be it must be quite frustrating to have to deal with that on a day to day basis. And how are people around you, Demi, with that going on? Because, again, like you mentioned, you used the word snowflake earlier. But, you know, that might be a perception that people that don't understand is an education around this isn't there as well versus your day to day reality.

9:23And so how do you how do you manage those that external world that might be less sympathetic, shall we say, to some of the conditions that show up for you?

9:33Demi Schweers:it's definitely hard i think the thing with ms is so much of it is invisible you can't see that i've lost my vision you can't see that my arms and my legs are numb and tingly and that i'm experiencing this weakness it doesn't really manifest always in a visible way and my husband obviously is very hyper aware of it you know close family is but it's hard even with with friends and some family as well they they kind of forget that i have it because you can't always see the pain and the struggles that I'm experiencing. And, um, I am fiercely independent and I do try to do things on my own and asking for help is, is more challenging for me.

10:10Demi Schweers:I'm still working on it. Um, but, but it's definitely difficult with that. And, um, having setting those boundaries and just saying, you know what, no, I can't do this anymore. I'm just not feeling great has been a struggle, but I feel like the people in my circle are in a place of understanding, but meeting new people and just being out and about if my cadence gets a little bit slower, having difficulty remembering something. I feel like people are getting a little bit frustrated with me at times. So it's a challenge for sure. Yeah. And so, you know, you've gone to a very, and thank you for sharing all of that, because, you know, there may be other people listening to this going, oh, my gosh, yes, that's me.

10:45And what advice would you give? Actually, I'm going to shift over to sort of your public kind of influence, if you like, across social media, of which you have a very big following. But before we do that, you know, if someone else is listening to this and thinking, oh, my gosh, I think I think that might be me or of either of those kind of conditions that you unfortunately you've got both or had both. What advice would you give to someone that's sitting here listening, thinking, oh, gosh, yes, that may be me, actually. I'm not sure.

11:19Demi Schweers:I think two things. I think the first piece of advice that I would give is you're not alone. it feels really isolating at times and it feels like you're the only one going through these struggles and as I said it's invisible so you you're the one who has to internalize so much of it and you're also the one who has to relay what's happening constantly and it does cause a fatigue but know that you're not alone in that journey there are so many of us become in all shapes and sizes and all over the the world and the communities and with both of those support groups with both MS and PCOS is really a beautiful thing and to lean on them because we really thrive when we share those experiences and struggles together.

11:57Demi Schweers:The second piece of advice I would give is be your own best advocate. The doctors are the experts, but you are the expert of your body. And if something doesn't feel right, then express that. And if you're not being heard, it's okay to go get a second opinion. It's okay to go get a third opinion and switch providers to someone who better suits your needs yeah that is and it's interesting isn't it because i think depending on on how we're brought up as as you know as children very often we we're kind of brought up to respect authority the experts know what they you know they've studied for years and years they know everything and and and i guess that could be quite daunting for some people to challenge that in a in a constructive way but you're absolutely right you know your own body And if something feels off, then don't just leave it.

12:42Yeah, just just kind of trust your guts in a way. Trust your own intuition and your own sort of sense of your own body. Right. Because like you say, they may be the experts medically, but you're unique in your own how it manifests for you. Right.

12:57Demi Schweers:Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's really good advice. So this leads us to, Demi, you sort of take in a very public route, actually, because you could have said this is very, very private. You know, it's been full of pain, heartache, upset, physical pain, mental pain, anguish, you know, losing the babies that you did and then having two wonderful children, which is a blessing and amazing. So I'm so delighted for you both. But still, there's a lot of anxiety and a lot of upset has gone there. What made you decide to put yourself out in the public space with all of this? Because you've got a huge following.

13:39And what was the first catalyst for doing that? Thinking, no, I'm not going to keep this to myself. I need to be out there on social media. Yeah.

13:48Demi Schweers:You know, when we first started social media, it was shortly after my MS diagnosis. And we would go on TikTok live a lot and talk to community. And I would meet people who had MS that way. There weren't a lot of people in my immediate life who had it. So it was very therapeutic and helpful and beneficial for me to one, talk about it and really process that information, but two, to feel heard and seen was really important. So via MS is kind of when that started. And then fast forward to our fertility journey. We didn't share for the first year what was going on. And it wasn't until after the miscarriage that I was feeling similar to how I did with my MS diagnosis of, okay, I didn't realize how many women experience a miscarriage.

14:32Demi Schweers:I didn't understand just kind of what goes into the fertility journey. And when I looked to find it, I couldn't find anybody who looked like me and was speaking about it. and I kind of came to this realization of, okay, well, if I'm not finding anybody out there, then I can be the person to do that. And I don't mind taking the charge on that in my own life. And I already was so transparent and vulnerable and had such a good experience speaking on my MS journey that when it came to our fertility journey and my PCOS, that it was a no brainer to just do the same thing. And taking people through that process, not only helped me feel seen and heard and helped me grieve and go through that journey, but it also offered so much support and so much visibility.

15:22Demi Schweers:And I feel like the stigma around IVF and miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy and all of these things, it kind of helped break down those walls and barriers and made it accessible for people who maybe didn't need to go through it themselves, but maybe had someone in their life who was going through it as well. So we really took it into bite-sized chunks of what our day-to-day experience was just for that relatability factor and just to form a better understanding and empathy for other people for what they're going through too. I mean, I think there's a great quote from Gandhi, Mahatma Gandhi, you know, be the change you want to see.

15:55And I guess if that role model wasn't there for you, then, you know, you took that to, that was almost a calling for you to play that role for other people and um i think it's hugely inspiring what you've done and showing that vulnerability is not easy either um on on especially on social media because you know social media can be great as we know it can it can do a lot of good you can share a message you can help people but it also has a dark side it has it has um you know quite a a nasty side as well where you know have you ever ever suffered with that you know people responding negatively to you or the trolls and the haters and

16:34Demi Schweers:all of that do you get that oh absolutely absolutely um yeah you know it's part of it unfortunately I wish it wasn't but yeah there were definitely times where we would get some really nasty messages and really nasty comments and um with my MS it was shortly after Tom and I got married and there was a few messages of you're such a burden to him he's probably going to leave you things like that that are really personal and are manifested and we had to have those conversations because, you know, you read things like that enough and you're already feeling so horrible and what's happening that, um, you know, you have to verbalize it and we, we over communicate on, on everything because of things like that.

17:14Demi Schweers:And then when it came to our, um, fertility journey and navigating that there was a lot of, well, if it was meant to be, it would be. And, um, also, you know, you just need to relax and it will happen like kind of those like sidebar remarks. But then when we were going through IVF, you know, being called selfish for why don't you just adopt instead? Or why don't you just do this instead? You know, there was there was a lot of things that were going were happening in that world as well. Wow. How did you and Tom deal with that side of things then? You know, when you when you because it is hurtful.

17:52I think it's you know, it's hard to just totally ignore it, isn't it? But how did you how did you deal with it? how do you deal with it it's probably still happening right to a certain degree yes i mean

18:02Demi Schweers:i feel like anything i do can be scrutinized in some way shape or form and you're not you know you're never going to be everyone's cup of tea and i understand that um for sure the only thing i can do is be my genuine authentic self and if it's not for you that's okay you don't need to comment about it you can just keep going about your day um but some of the things you know i'm I'm a very logical thinker. And, um, like the comments, for example, when people call the selfish for wanting to do IVF and why not just adopt. And in my perspective, adoption is a beautiful option. It's a beautiful option that we are open to.

18:35Demi Schweers:Um, but for me, the way that those sentences were phrased was adoption, isn't a backup plan. Those children are not a backup plan for you. That's not how this works. They're not mutually, um, exclusive with one another. So for me, there's a lot of like rationale of just how I think. And, you know, it's an ignorant and naive comment for someone to make in my opinion. So I kind of rationalize things that way. Um, and also, yeah, just, I'm never going to be everyone's cup of tea. And, uh, with that being said, I know how many people have benefited from us sharing these experiences. I get messages to this day of positive pregnancy tests and they're going through their cycle, their IVF cycles and all of these things and the community that we've been able to build outshines and outweighs any negativity that has ever come our way.

19:21Yeah. And, you know, nine times out of 10, I mean, obviously your, your, your, your experience is totally different from my life experience is totally different. We're all unique, aren't we? And what we do, but I can say, you know, when I've experienced sort of, you know, negativity or criticism, whether it's been publicly or privately, nine times out of 10, it's about the other person. It's not actually about you absolutely yeah and I think you have to remind yourself that and um and and like you say if you you remind yourself why you're doing it and what your purpose is and what your north star is then you know and you're trying to do a good thing and put good out in the world well you know like you say people are going to judge you anyway so you may as well stand for something that's meaningful and important to you and help people and those that don't like you well they can bugger off yeah fantastic so so let's move let's move let's fast forward a little bit demi because when you started out on the sharing your journey and put yourself out on social media did you ever think you'd have the following that you have because just just tell us how big a reach you've got now um i mean obviously i've seen i've seen your bio and everything but for those listeners that don't know and also where they can connect with you and hear more from you and tom because you know Instagram's a big a big one for you TikTok as well but what what sort of what sort of reach have you got now after from starting from zero yeah we I think spread across TikTok

20:48Demi Schweers:Instagram and YouTube we have a little over two and a half million people within our community it's it's been crazy there's no world that I ever thought that would even happen I like personally went to small schools my whole entire life. My elementary school was maybe 32 of us. My high school was an all girls school, 112 of us. And then I went to a smaller university as well. So to fathom that number is kind of insane to me, but, um, I think it just goes to show that there are more people experiencing these things than you really realize. And it really just, just solidifies them.

21:30If you're finding value in this conversation with Demi, don't forget to subscribe to Brave Bold Brilliant. Each week, I share insights from world-class business leaders, entrepreneurs and changemakers. And it's by subscribing that you're going to stay connected to bold strategies, inspiring stories that can help you grow your own Brave Bold Brilliant journey.

21:56yeah yeah absolutely absolutely and and you know that just shows that that people are obviously resonating with what you're sharing um otherwise you wouldn't have that that following so you know that that's incredible and and you you've moved into the business right so you've you launched iris nutrition and i think that was only last year that you launched you launched iris nutrition is

22:17Demi Schweers:that right Demi so we officially launched last month actually it was last month last month yes in my head only last month it's okay well it's been in the works for about um a year now so um it has it has been in an existence at least verbally for about a year so right okay I'm not going crazy then so tell us about Irish Nutrition what it's all about and and how again that because it's all connected this isn't it it's I always think it's all like a layering on of experience and life and you know when you started out on this path and you got that diagnosis back in 2020 you probably didn't make a straight line between there and having a nutrition business you know it was all the steps along the way add up and and ultimately you're kind of where you're meant to be I think at whatever point of your life you are but talk us through Irish Nutrition and kind of what the business does and how you help people through that as well.

23:11Demi Schweers:Yeah absolutely so Irish nutrition was kind of born out of my own struggles with PCOS and infertility. And as I shared a little bit earlier, after I got that diagnosis, I was spending a fortune on vitamins and supplements and all of these things to try to just help my body be in the best hormonal place so that I could get pregnant via IVF. And there were months I was spending up to$400 a month. It was insanity and unrealistic. And at the time going through it, I was, I mean, it's already such an expensive of cost here in the States to go through all of those fertility treatments and to have just this additional cost was just a layer that was unnecessary.

23:52Demi Schweers:And it also caused so much confusion. I was trying to figure out what I needed and what supplements and nutrients were the best things for my body. And that's really how Iris was born. I realized that there was a disconnect in the wellness market, specifically for women's hormonal health to give us the correct vitamins and supplements that our bodies needed in order to address and balance and regulate those hormones that we are producing. My business partner, Allie and I, she and her husband own a manufacturing plant. And when we were talking about this, she also has PCOS. We wanted something that was easy to use, that was simplified, but also was a solution to all of the things that we were facing as women with those hormonal imbalances.

24:35Demi Schweers:I mean, every single woman deals with hormonal imbalances throughout their life journey. And making a powder drink mix was something that was already built into our routines. Electrolytes are already so prevalent. And we knew that was something that was quick, on the go, easy to use, and could be a part of your daily routine. So that is how Iris was born and creative. It was something that was approachable, fun, and at the end of the day, good for your body. Is it a holistic kind of formula, if you like, for general women's health? or do you have different kind of products targeted in different areas?