Overcoming Perfectionism and Quietly Leading the Way

0:01What I've learned over the years is that confidence is rarely a natural talent. It's something that is built. It's something that is created with practice, with actually repetition, repetition, repetition, and being really honest with who we are.

0:20Hello, welcome back to Brave Bold Brilliant. I'm Jeannette, your host, entrepreneur, investor, multiple business owner. And you know what? Today, what I really want us to talk about is confidence. Now, here's the thing that I've come to know from my 30 plus years in business is that, you know, often we look at people, we look at successful business leaders, we look at entrepreneurs, we look at people running large organizations, and they seem to have it all covered, don't they? They seem to be absolutely confident in their delivery, confident in what they're actually trying to achieve. But the reality is that actually every single person has moments of self-doubt, has moments of not feeling maybe good enough, of sense of actually I'm not sure if I can do this.

1:14But confidence is something that absolutely absolutely I believe is a skill that can be honed and you know through my career I've had lots of times when I've not felt as confident as I actually wanted to be so we're going to get into this and I think also in today's world where we have social media we have you know so much press coverage etc that you know we present a world an image often outwardly that is not actually necessarily how we are feeling inwardly. So confidence, we're going to talk about this crisis in the modern leadership age. And actually, how can you become more confident in yourself, take steps that's going to make you a bolder leader, but at the same time, acknowledge that, you know, we are human beings, and we don't always naturally have confidence oozing from us at every single stage of our journey.

2:10So listen, if we are not connected on social media, let's get connected. You know, check out our pages on Brave Bold Brilliant. Also, you can find me on social media. You'll find, you know, two N's, two T's in Jeanette. Let's get connected and let's really, you know, help each other with our business journeys. What I've learned over the years is that confidence is rarely a natural talent. It's something that is built. It's something that is created with practice, with actually repetition, repetition, repetition, and being really honest with who we are as a person. And it's interesting because actually when you talk to business leaders, successful people still battle with insecurity inside themselves.

2:55They might question themselves. They might still think, how am I getting on? Or be worried about failing, et cetera. So it is perfectly normal. If you are in that situation yourself, maybe you're running a team for the first time. Maybe you've got a huge organization, a large corporate that you're running and you're very much in the forefront every single day, but you might not always feel super confident. Well, that is okay. And what we're actually going to cover in today's episode is how can you hone your skills to be more confident, but in a way that keeps yourself true to the person that you are as well.

3:33And here's the thing, you know, we are absolutely exposed every single day. When you look online, sometimes people appear super successful, very polished, very articulate, you know, they come across exuding confidence. But over time, you know, actually, comparison can chip away at your confidence. So, you know, we've got to be very careful in today's world of overly comparing ourselves to others, you know, because you can really question yourself whether you're behind, maybe you're not coming across in the same way as other people that you see in the world around you but you know and you sometimes you can wonder whether everyone else has figured it out apart from you so I don't know if you ever feel like that but sometimes I do and I think in social media it's created this illusion hasn't it it's creating an illusion that everything is wonderful in the world and you have to be perfect to actually be a strong credible leader well I'm here to tell you that you absolutely don't have to be perfect to everything you're doing but growing confidence is a skill that you can learn.

4:38So actually, how do you do it? How do you build confidence? Because uncertainty naturally creates insecurity. And let's be honest, in today's world of business, we have a lot of stuff that's moving around that can create an uncertain environment for us, both from a business point of view, personally, professionally. So, you know, even experienced leaders are actually questioning themselves, especially with the pace of AI. You might be questioning yourself, am I moving fast enough? Am I ahead of technology? Am I building the right team and capability that we need? And when that uncertainty can arise, it often impacts our confidence in a negative way.

5:22And it can make us actually drop down our confidence. So one of the biggest confidence killers that I see in leadership today is this whole concept of perfectionism. You know, and the reality is perfect doesn't exist. I always say as human beings, we are perfectly imperfect, every single one of us. And that's what makes us unique and different. So, you know, often people are terrified, aren't they, of judgment, getting it wrong, terrified of judgment, fearful of failure. And so instead of actually taking action, they overthink, you know, they wait, they hesitate, they get stuck. So I don't know if any of that actually resonates with you, but all of this is linked to the very important topic of confidence.

6:03So what I would absolutely encourage you to do is to first of all, realize that perfectionism doesn't exist, that actually, you know, you can be your authentic self with the flaws and everything that comes along with that. But at the same time, actually move forward with your business, with your professional life, because the truth is, you know, if you want to grow, you do need to be visible. You do need to be visible both to your clients, to your customers, to the markets, to the stakeholders you have to manage, to your team, etc. So it's so important that actually you remain visible. And to be visible means confidently putting yourself out there in the world.

6:46So visibility, it does require vulnerability as well. It's quite ironic that, isn't it? The two Vs. So every successful leader that you maybe admire, they make mistakes publicly. Every successful entrepreneur has failed at something. Every single person that got that very first promotion felt nervous and not quite ready for the job. every confident speaker once felt nervous in fact when I go on a stage I still feel nervous today and I have done thousands of speeches but I still feel like there's butterflies in my stomach you know and every business leader will have doubted themselves at some point so you are not alone which is a great thing isn't it because we are here to help and you know one thing I would say to you is at Brave Bold Brilliant we are building a community of incredible business leaders.

7:36They're all here to help support each other and grow together with confidence. So if you haven't already signed up to the Brave Bold Brilliant community, just go to the website www.brave-bold-brilliant.com because there you're actually going to be able to join the community. You're going to get loads of free resources, which is really helpful either for yourself or for your teams. And certainly that is going to help you build your confidence. So confidence comes with action, right? Confidence doesn't come before you take action. Actually, by practicing and doing more, you will build your confidence over time.

8:14And that's the important thing. You don't have to be perfect to get going, but you do have to get going to be perfect or close to perfect. Now, as I say, perfect doesn't exist in my world. So however you're able to position yourself in the right way in order to grow your confidence, that's what we're aiming to achieve. but we're not looking for perfection, but you've got to get started and you have to take some action because you become confident by doing the scary things, right? And when you realize that actually it's not as bad as you thought it was going to be, your confidence will grow. So, you know, think about anything that you've ever become good at.

8:50The very first time you started something, you know, you were probably not so good at it, but actually over time with repetition, with more practice, you become good at your craft. And building confidence is the same thing. It's a muscle. It's like training in the gym, right? So you can build confidence by taking action. So at one point, you were inexperienced, you were uncertain, you were uncomfortable, and that's absolutely fine. But repetition creates confidence, as I say. So true confidence, it doesn't need to dominate every room, right? But it doesn't need constant validation. It doesn't need to prove superiority.

9:26Ego can be very, very loud. Confidence is grounded, quietly confident, not being arrogant. And there is a difference in that. And I think some of the best leaders that I've ever met have not necessarily been the loudest people in the room. They've often been actually the ones that speak the less, but when they speak, they make a point and they land it very well. And people listen, they have gravitas, they have quiet confidence. And that is something that actually is a great way to think of this because real confidence allows people to lead without ego driving it, without constantly having to prove, you know, themselves really.

10:05So that's something I think modern leadership desperately needs more of. You know, we need more authentic leadership, more emotionally intelligent leadership, more self-awareness leadership. That's what we want. And not just about the performance. So I think people are becoming exhausted by leaders who just pretend to have all the answers because we know, we know that's not the case, right? So the reality is, you don't have all the answers, your team don't have all the answers. But if you can confidently go into a meeting, go into maybe a client conversation that you're having, or maybe a conversation with your team, you're able to actually bring some certainty to that world, which allows you to be more confident.

10:51So here's the things. Actually, what can you do to be more confident? So the first thing that I'm going to take you through is just really ground yourself. All right, ground yourself. So before you even go into a meeting, or maybe you're going to do a presentation, maybe you are actually putting a pitch to a potential new client. Before you do that, just ground yourself, right? Take some deep breaths. Just absolutely think about how can you build your own kind of calmness, your inner calmness. Remember, we're talking about being quietly confident. So ground yourself. That's point number one. Point number two, you have to remind yourself how good you are.

11:38And I don't mean that in an arrogant way. You have to remind yourself, actually, you know, you've gained experience, no matter what stage of your career you're at, but you are absolutely, you know, you're there for a reason. So you have to have that positive self-talk in your head. And actually, what I would say, even before you ground yourself going into any meeting, there's almost a step zero, which is really working on your own self-belief, you know, whether that is through meditation, whether it's through yoga, whether it's through exercise, but actually, you know, really working on your self-belief because self-belief is your superpower.

12:15So first of all, work on your own mindset. Secondly, ground yourself. Thirdly, realize that you are there for a reason. And then the fourth thing I would say is, you know, prepare how you're going to tackle a particular situation. And if it's a speech, just remember your first line. just remember your first line because once you do that you will actually be able to automatically get into your flow if it's a meeting you know prepare for that meeting you know understand who your stakeholders are so the preparation in advance will help you as well build your confidence and then the third you know the other point I would say is just get going because when you get going actually you'll find that you are far better than you think you were going to you were going to be.

13:05You build your confidence. And then after you've done all of that, review, review how it went and do that in two ways. Do that with yourself. Reflect on how did that meeting go? How did that speech go? So that you're able to say, OK, well, what went really well? Start with the positives first. What might I have done differently next time? And just really reflect on that. And then the other way to really review how you're getting on is to ask for feedback. Ask for feedback from people that were in the room, people that were in the audience, and then just keep going, quite simply. Just keep going.

13:42And, you know, it's so important that you build your confidence as you progress by taking the action in the right ways. And honestly, those simple steps will really help you. And you know what? If things don't go well, it doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter because you'll have learned something and you'll be saying, OK, that's I've learned something. then I'll do it differently next time. So building confidence is absolutely critical in today's world of leadership. You have to be visible. You have to be authentically you, but also you don't have to be perfect. So that's what I would just say to you is don't overthink it.

14:18Take massive action, massive action. Get the feedback. Surround yourself with the right people as well who will support you on your journey because that will also make a big difference. So I hope you have got something out of this conversation. I absolutely love helping people, you know, scale up their confidence, scale up their business. You know, that's why I work one to one with business leaders, with corporate execs, with entrepreneurs, so that actually I create a safe environment for us to talk about these situations and to be able to support business leaders as they grow both themselves in terms of their leadership, but also in the impact they're having in the world of business that they actually operate in.

15:00so one-to-one mentor and if that's something actually that you would be interested in drop me a line happy to have a conversation because it can be very lonely leadership can be very lonely and as I say surround yourself with the right people having the right people in your corner is absolutely critical because that means that you're going to continue to grow with confidence which is going to make you have more of an impact so as I say don't be alone connect remember it is by being brave and bold that you're going to unlock your brilliant but you don't have to do it alone so let's leave it there for today I look forward to seeing how you get on with your leadership journey and if there's anything at all that I can help you with my team can help you with then please do reach out as I say if you're watching this on YouTube then hit that subscribe button if you're listening to this on the podcast on iTunes or on Spotify again subscribe because then you'll be notified every time we have an episode.

15:57And of course, please come and join our community, our Brave Bold Brilliant community and check out the website, www.brave-bold-brilliant.com. And yes, just remember, you only have one life. Let's make it count. Let's go forth with great confidence. And remember, it is by being brave and bold that you will unlock your brilliant. I really hope you've enjoyed this episode of Brave Bold Brilliant. Remember, check out our new website, www.brave-bold-brilliant.com. You're going to find loads of resources on there that's going to help you with your leadership journey and with the businesses that you're trying to scale up and grow.

16:33So take care everyone and remember there are no limits to your growth but it is by being brave and bold that you're going to unlock your brilliance.