The Heart of a Champion: Diane Edwards Discusses Her Athletic Legacy and Fight for Justice

0:01Brave, bold, brilliant. That's me. I've had to be brave for the years I've been on this planet for many different reasons.

0:15Today's guest is Diane Edwards, MBE. Now, Diane is a four-time Olympian Commonwealth gold medalist and trailblazing advocate for youth opportunity. And that really is through everything she's done in sport. Diane was born in Manchester to Jamaican parents, and she really rose from humble beginnings, you know, to really become one of Britain's most celebrated middle distance runners. And, you know, Diane, she represented Great Britain across four Olympic Games and winning gold at the 1990 Commonwealth Games in the 800 metres. But Diane's story is really about far more than medals. In 1994, she faced a life altering battle, a false doping allegation that not only challenged her athletic legacy, but it really shook the foundation of British athletics.

1:15And Diane, you know, with her unshakable determination, she cleared her name. She changed the way drug testing was handled globally and became a symbol of resilience and justice. Now, following her retirement in 2002, Diane co-founded the Diane Madal Sports Foundation, which is now called Strike UK. And it's a charity using sport to really empower young people from disadvantaged communities. She's also a chair for the Greater Manchester Young Persons Task Force, which is appointed by the Mayor, Andy Burnham. And she serves as an ambassador and a board member for several national and regional initiatives.

2:09And she's passionate about tackling youth inequality and homelessness. So today we'll explore Diane's journey through triumph, adversity and reinvention. From breaking records on the track to absolutely breaking barriers down in society. It's a conversation about resilience, leadership and really using personal purpose for a greater good. Let's get into the episode.

2:46So welcome Diane Edwards MBE to Brave Bob Brilliant. Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here. I've been so excited about this. It's been a lead up to get us in the diary. But here we are in wonderful Manchester, back in my hometown and of course your hometown as well. Absolutely. So we're going to have a really good conversation about your sporting career. All the great things you're doing now because there's a lot going on in your world, isn't there? We're both actually speaking at Reset Summit as well tomorrow. Are you all prepared? Are you? Well, as prepared as I can be. It's a bit late now, isn't it?

3:20I guess. It'll be fine. It'll all be fine. So, Dan, we're going to talk all about your kind of sporting career and stuff, but also all the great things that you're doing now. But given that athletics has been such a big part of your life, I want to kind of go back to those early years to start off with, if that's all right. And did you always know that you were going to become an Olympian, that you were going to really focus on sport? Did you know as a kid that that was going to be your thing or did it evolve over time? I'm interested. No, definitely didn't know that that was going to be my thing.

3:55So I grew up in a family of seven. and every summer my dad used to take me and my brothers and sisters onto the playing fields where we lived in Longside and for me that was just fun we'd have relay races that he'd organize and I didn't win anything I would always be training at the back but my dad was the best coach I had in those early years because he understood that if you gave someone incentive that that was enough to keep them coming back and our incentive was the ice cream van so every time we'd finish our little training session if you want to call it that the ice cream van would be there and every single one of us would get an ice cream and I remember my dad telling me he'd say he'd have to go back to mum and say I've run out of money because these these sessions that he'd put on would just get bigger and bigger and bigger it started with those brothers and sisters then the neighbours kids it was like the Pied Piper of Longsite where we used to have these races so it wasn't always obvious that I would be good at athletics but it was fun and then you know the excitement grew yeah and so so it was then through school that you were you were Obviously, you know, PE back in the day, I don't even know what you call it these days, to be honest.

5:20But was it through the school journey then that then you started to realise, actually, there's something here. I am good at running. And that became more of a sort of a passion. So I went to high school in my side. It was called Duty High School then. It's now Manchester Academy. And during a PE lesson, nothing out of the ordinary. It was a typical PE lesson. I didn't know this, but my PE teacher had invited a local coach from Sale Harriers to come and watch that session. And at the end of the PE lesson, this volunteer, this coach, this stranger never met him before. He said to me, words I'll never forget.

6:02He said to me, you've got potential would you like to join a running club so I'm 11 years old it's my first year in high school I didn't know what potential was and I didn't know what a running club was but in my mind a running club was running up and down the field at the back of your house having fun and not wanting to be embarrassed by not really understanding the question I said to Alan Robertshaw, yes, I want to join this running club. And that started my journey of sport, really. And for seven years, Alan picked me up from where we lived in Longside and drove me to the leafy suburbs of Sale in Cheshire to the running club because my parents were not going to let me go on the bus on my own, two bus rides away.

6:55And also my parents couldn't afford that journey and that's where it started and I'll always remember Alan seeing in me something that I never knew I possessed. Wow so 11 years old and isn't it wonderful when someone else sort of identifies something in you at whatever stage of your life actually but you know when you go god yeah you've got something special and sometimes you can't see it yourself can you but it does take that external person to actually go oh hang on a minute Diane yeah you've got you've got something you've got magic here well that's so true isn't it that you often don't even see in yourself um something that other people see it's not strange that because you're just you aren't you're just being yourself but um if you've got your eyes open to it you can see immediately you see a spark you see an attitude you see a commitment a form of discipline and um potentially that's what Alan saw not only in me but there were lots of other children that he was supporting and encouraging to get involved in sport as well.

8:01And you mentioned growing up in Longsite so parents Jamaican heritage what was early life like growing up there busy household by the sound of it? Yeah so I'm one of seven I'm the youngest of seven and mum and dad came over from Jamaica in the 50s they left everything that they knew that they loved behind to start a new life here in in in England and landed in sunny Mossai um early life Jeanette I couldn't begin to tell you um how good it was we were growing up in social housing in council housing we were poor but we didn't know it because our house was full of love ambition discipline commitment um it was tough though don't get me wrong when you grow up with two parents who you know grew up in in Jamaica there was discipline and there were three key things I remember are important in that family household sport church and education yeah so family and and everything that that stood for and we I would see my dad going to work at four o 'clock in the morning he was a laborer he worked at Walls's factory in Glossop and he rolled pastry for 25 years my dad did the same job every day for 25 years and my mom dedicated her career to the NHS she was a nurse again 25 years and what we saw what we were living and breathing was discipline resilience joy and also a pride in what they were doing so it was a household that was absolutely full of love but we knew what we had and we knew what we didn't have but um I'm grateful for that upbringing yeah it must I mean for your parents to leave everything they knew in the 50s to come to the UK you know I mean really an incredible bravery talk about brave you know being bold and and brilliant name of the name of the podcast but that takes guts to to make that that move and but presumably you've still got a lot of relatives in over in Jamaica then oh yeah we have an amazing big family in Jamaica which I'm sure wouldn't surprise you even here cousins and cousins cousins and you know everything in terms of a big family but you're right about being brave I can only begin to imagine at a young age teenagers basically leaving for somewhere that you had only heard of really maybe seen on the telly or heard of other relatives talking about this country called England.

11:04And I remember the stories that my mum and dad would tell. And it's quite funny, really. I remember when my dad first came to England and he'd be walking down the street and he'd think that every house was a factory. Why? Why? Because there was smoke coming out of the chimneys. and he would think wow people are hard at work in those houses because there's so much smoke coming out of there there's something going on and I remember he would also tell us about the areas that he should and shouldn't go into and he would be prepared to you know be ready to fight at any one time because remember it was a time when there were still signs that said no blacks, no dogs, no Irish.

11:55So it wasn't always as the dream was sold. They were invited to come here to help after the war rebuild this country. But actually, when they landed and they arrived, it was difficult. Yeah, I mean, you're right. You know, for us, it's hard to imagine, isn't it? You know, thank God society is much more inclusive. And we're going to talk about all the great work you're doing with diversity, equity and inclusion. It's so important. But back then it must have been a very very different environment actually and then it's interesting because my husband's mum was Jamaican and his dad was Maltese but even him growing up as the youngest in Swansea even though he's actually quite pale-skinned he was considered black you know and would have abuse like you know not being served in the post office and things like that and so that must have been a big you know part and parcel of what your parents had to deal with on a daily basis then really.

12:49I can, I mean racism is alive and kicking isn't it? I mean you can't not, that's real, racism is real, prejudices are real, it's clear that if you're black you're black not just part of the day but you're black every single day and so the perceptions the stereotypes that exist even today were 10 times harder back then and I remember my parents talking about even getting housing finding somewhere to live was difficult but the interesting thing was word would spread about who the good landlords were and what they meant by good was who would charge you fairly who would take care of you where you felt safe in that environment And so what you'd find is houses were rammed.

13:45People would be literally sleeping on the floor, women and children too, because it was safe there and it was affordable. And, you know, they'd say my dad would say you'd have two change of clothing, one for work and one for church. and basically that home, that environment, that community is what enabled you to keep going and to survive. So it was tough, but survive they did and many others like my parents as well. Yeah, and it sounds like, you know, incredible positive attitude and mindset and very grateful for what this country has given them. So even though there'd be a side of it which, you know, encounters wouldn't be positive, it sounds like overall they made a great life here.

14:27Yeah. And, you know, and the country's overall, I guess, has done well for them, given that you've continued, you know, family's gone on and thrived and what have you. Would you say that that balance, that perspective that they had was overall positive, despite some of the negative aspects they might have had to deal with? It's difficult to answer for mum and dad, but the people I know as mum and daddy are extremely positive. because let's not forget let's remember that the fact that they left everything behind left Jamaica and started a new life just talks about how brave they were how bold they would have had to have been they had young children so two of my brothers were born in Jamaica and you know as a mum and as a parent you know managing and dealing with that having to find a job somewhere safe to live who do you trust the food's different the environment's different um just says something about their mindset in many ways so I think they would say that overall the experience was definitely tough but a positive one yeah yeah absolutely so those early years what were the things that you have stayed with you if you like um that have helped you through your illustrious kind of sporting life what are some of the you know the areas that have lasted for you from that early upbringing you had do you think the joy the joy and that family is the heart of everything so every Sunday you'd have your rice your peas your chicken every Sunday nothing changed and more than it being about the food it was about unity having great conversations listening to mum and dad tell these stories other people would come round the parties the parties you know and sitting at the top of the stairs as you see these grown-ups having a great time listening to great music dancing drinking talking and you know trying to stay awake one eye opening and you don't want to miss anything so I suppose what I've learned is family is everything hard work counts for everything nothing is given to you and when an opportunity presents itself take it I think that's what I've learned yeah amazing and actually that comes back to Alan saying to you oh you've got potential and you're not knowing even what the word meant but saying yes and saying oh I'll figure it out later say yes and so going back to to when the with the with the running and you're obviously going to sell Harriers and you also told me that when we were speaking separately and before we arranged the interview that you used to run at longford park as well yeah and i grew up in a place called stretford um which longford park just down the road from where i grew up so i was like oh my gosh we've got so many connections you know in uh in in that sense but you start getting good at running you you're going through school at what point did you realize or choose to go okay this is actually i'm going to be serious about this now it's not just a running club it's more than that for you what point was that do you think so up until from the age of 11 right through to about the age of 19 I was just playing at it I wasn't committed I had very few ambitions I didn't set a target and a goal um when I reflect now I I was really just doing it because it had become a habit I was winning um you know not winning everything but occasionally I was you know having a great opportunity and experience I was traveling but um I won my first global medal in 1986 it was a silver medal at the Commonwealth Games in Edinburgh and I stepped off the track I turned to my then coach, Norman, and I said, Norman, the next time I come to these championships, I will win gold.

18:40Because at that stage, I realized I didn't win a silver medal. I'd lost the gold because I wasn't training as hard as I knew I could. Norman was always saying Diane if you commit yourself if you turn up to training when I come to pick you up you know you could you've got this world-class potential but it was at those championships that I realized Norman was right but on the other side my mum and dad were saying running what you want to be a runner um no no no you you got to get a good education you got to go to college you're going to be a nurse and I wanted to be a nurse like my mum but it was that championship that experience that made me think this is my passion this is what I'm supposed to do so just like a real light bulb moment for you in that split second yeah fantastic so let's talk about what happened after that because of course you then went on to massive success in your Olympic and your Commonwealth medal winning so give us the roll call of all of your plaudits that you've done in the in the in the in the world of athletics and 800 meters being your you know your speciality huh?

19:58Yeah that's right so my specialist distance was 800 meters middle distance of the track so you've got to have the speed of a 400 meter runner and the endurance of miler and my declaration that I wanted to turn that silver medal into a gold one actually came true four years later and I won a gold medal at the Commonwealth Games in 1990 the best most outstanding experience of my life I had to wait a long time for it to happen but in the build-up to that I was able to go to an Olympic Games in 1988 was my first Olympic Games where I made the final a rank outsider but finished eighth in that final and went on to go to three other Olympic Games and went on to win silver and bronze medals at the Commonwealth Games I was the British record holder over 600 meters English record holder over 800 meters throughout my career until a certain Dame Kelly Holmes came along.

21:06God damn it, Dame Kelly. I love you really, Kelly, I love you really. And she changed the landscape of not only 800 metre running, but middle distance running, 1500 metre running, an amazing athlete who went on to do, win the double gold at the Athens Olympic Games. Yeah, fantastic. Were there times when you said it took a, it took you a while to get the gold, to get to that point considering how long you'd been at it. Were there times when you ever thought it's not going to happen or you know you lost the faith a little bit or were you always just right now I've got it in my mind I'm going to do it and I'm going to keep going.

21:49Were there moments of self-doubt through this or were you just really razor like focused at that point to carry on going? There were so many frustrations as to why I couldn't convert being what I was told as someone who had potential, could be world class, just wasn't happening. So I'd go to these championships, Olympics, Worlds, Europeans, Commonwealth, and I'd end up getting knocked out in the semifinals. So in my race, you do three races and you're expected to be at your best in the third race. So the first race is the heat. Second race is the semifinal and it's a knockout process. as you go through and I always get knocked out in the semi-final I wasn't good enough and I'd sit in the stands I'd watch the final I'd hear the national anthems of the then East Germany Russians Yugoslavians and I wouldn't be in that final and I'd be so frustrating and I'd be thinking I'm doing the training I'm listening to my coach I'm doing my very best and I'm not winning.

22:57So those moments of doubt were real and they caused me to question, will I ever get there? And I think the turning point, in fact, there is never a turning point. It's just those incremental amounts of days, years, literally years, because the Olympics are every four years, that actually layer upon layer upon layer, that build the confidence, that develop who you are as a person, why you're doing this, how hungry you are to win. And eventually, I got there. Perseverance, resilience. And how important was it to have the right people around you? I mean, obviously, the coach clearly is a critical person to have by your side.

23:50But were there other people in your life, you know, obviously a supportive family, even a mum and dad are going, really, running? Why not get an education? But I'm assuming at this point that they're kind of super proud of their daughter and they're kind of with you, cheering you on. Were there other people that were influential, that helped you with that, you know, and those doubts kick in, that, you know, really supported you and allowed you to push on through and helped you? Success starts with stability. And in my experience, success is harder to achieve without strong foundations on which to build on.

24:28And so for me, that was my family unit, my base of the values that I was unconsciously around and surrounded by, you know, ambition, hard work, work ethic, love. That was a foundation on which enabled me to discover and understand who I was and who I was becoming. and stability can come from anywhere a mentor a PE teacher a colleague a friend you know someone who you trust and so who you surround yourself with we call that a team don't we and in the sense that you know you can describe it as you know your executive leadership team your chief operating officer led by your chief executive officer when you're selecting your team you want to surround yourself with the best people who are going to enable you to win so if we're talking in sports terms for example if you're going to put a relay together you know you wanted to understand who's going to go off first so the person who goes off first on your relay leg is ordinarily the person who's going to give you the best head start to be in the mix in the first place your second leg is about sustaining and also creating a bigger gap to the people who are chasing you third leg is again about consolidating and those minimal gains and the fourth leg which we all see is about bringing it home you know bring the baton home safely who can keep their head if it's a tight finish so in business terms when you're building your team it's about who is going to enable you to achieve that skill and what are the skills that you need in your team to enable that to happen team is everything yeah no you're so right and actually that analogy is perfect because no matter what you're doing in life or business or you know charity work whatever you're doing everyone plays a part don't they and when you were talking I was thinking the person that possibly gets the spotlight is the one that's bringing it home but actually that person couldn't have been successful without everyone else playing their part and that's so important it's so important and what people often forget or misunderstand is the person who is bringing it home has an enormous amount of pressure on them as well so you will you know if you're talking in business terms if as a team you've identified that we're going to pitch for this piece of work We're going to tender for this piece of work because we think we've got the skills to do it.

27:17Everyone plays their role in that pitch. But the person who's delivering it has to deliver the pitch to an extent where people are engaged. They're listening. They understand that this brand, this organisation can be trusted. And that's pressure. Yeah, massive, massive pressure. What's been the most pressured point of your career, do you think, where you've really felt under the cosh?

27:46Maybe it's every race.

27:50I'm pausing because put me in a corner and I'm at my best. Pressure for me is the privilege to be able to ask myself, who are you, Diane? um what have you got in your kit bag in your toolkit that is going to respond to this situation right now so life is pressure being in this chair is pressure because i know once it's edited and it's sent I can't bring that back so I have to do my best to be the best version of me and be my real me which is what I'm trying to be so if I was thinking in athletic terms the privilege to be stood on a start line and feel the butterflies and almost out taught myself that I'm good enough to be in this field is real and I think most athletes turn up at a championship having achieved everything that they wanted to to be in that position the doubt does come it certainly did with me can I win this race am I good enough are the tactics going tactics going to push in um but it's a pressure that you've craved for and then pressure in the business world can I actually deliver on this role this job these investments this portfolio that I'm responsible for is a privilege because what I feel it does is put me in a position of really discovering and developing who I am.

29:41Yeah, no, it's a really good way of looking at it, actually. Who am I? Who am I right now? What do I bring? And where do I dig deep? What's in my toolkit that I can particularly pull out? And it'll be different things at different times, aren't it, that you need to lean into? Yeah, absolutely. And sometimes it's not all about, you know, that last leg scenario where you need to just bring it home sometimes it's just listening and understanding um you know what's my role in this do I actually have a role maybe it's a colleague maybe it's a another teammate who's who's actually role it is is to you know bring it home or to to pay attention my role might be just to do that pay attention yeah no fantastic I think that's great advice for anyone listening if you find yourself in a you know in a moment just pause right pause breathe just to spend a little bit of time reflecting and asking some really simple questions of yourself and then going, right, come on, pull your big girl pants up.

30:42Let's crack on and do the best we can, isn't it, really? And I always think so often we put ourselves under immense pressure because we're worried about what will other people think, what will other people say? And you don't want to let people down, do you, of course. But at the same time, that's often perceived isn't it not reality you know because I think most in most cases through my kind of career in business I think most times people want you to succeed you get the odd rongan that maybe is a bit negative but generally speaking and but I think if you can keep in your lane and keep focused on what you're what's important to you do the right things try not to let that noise around of other people's judgment distract you because it can be really debilitating I think sometimes.

31:29Yeah I do agree with that and I think it for me it has come with maturity and the opportunity to understand what's important to me that has enabled me to let go some of the noise of what people may think or may not think about me. It's difficult to do, isn't it? Especially now, because everything is so front-facing. How do you look? What are you wearing? The angles, you know. And we do it to ourselves. But I think what I've learned over the years, listening to great podcasts such as this, when you hear people who are successful talk about their experiences, they often say the reason that they have become successful is because they have understood what their single focus is in any one issue and they've been able to quieten the distractions the noise that take them away from that and I've been trying to practice that so for example what are my priorities today what are my three to five priorities that I need to get done today and what things can I sort of ignore or what are the things that are going to get in the way of that and as simple as it sounds I found that to be really really helpful so in sport we have what are called keywords so if you're training and you're hit a position of fatigue you know or if you're doing a 5k and you come to a stage where actually I think I've run out of gas now I'm all out so you would have prepared a key word in your mind that either reminds you what you why you're there in the first place or a technical key word so for example you're running a 5k you come to a point where you're fatigued and you might just say to yourself um arms which is a technical prompt just keep driving your arms and you're just repeating arms arms arms or you might repeat to yourself if you find yourself drifting off focus focus so it's a quick sharp snap back into the reality of where you are and you're repeating that word and it's a bit like you know when I'm looking at my um you know to-do list I identify what are the priorities and the minute I start to drift I pick up my phone I think let me see what's going on on Instagram at the moment I just kick in with my key word just focus priorities get the job done die and I'm talking to myself constantly and so that that helps keep me on track oh I love that I'm gonna nick that but like sometimes we overcomplicate things don't we we get overwhelmed and we try to do too much I'm guilty of this guilty as charged and I think that's really great to say you know what's the one thing or what's the two or three things that I'm going to do and then having those words to just trigger trigger something in you that kind of kicks in and goes right okay and it might be a physical thing I used to have a friend that whenever she um got nervous in meetings she'd have like um like a hairband on it you know like on it and she just used to ping it and it's painful I know I mean that's my extreme but anyway but it was a trigger to go right no back in the room you know you can do this kind of thing so um yeah I love that that's great advice so let's talk about let's talk about 1994 and Canada and the whole drug testing piece which ended up being a you know obviously a highly traumatic experience for you but nonetheless you got through that so just take us back to that moment and how that played out and I'm sure people will know but maybe just explain a little bit and run up to it if that's all right because this is a true story of resilience grit, values, honour, integrity, justice, all rolled into that couple of years that you went through all of that.

35:36Take us through that a little bit. So on the 24th of August, 1994, I was in Victoria, Canada, and I was there to defend my Commonwealth Games title, which I had won four years earlier. and I was in the best shape of my life. I arrived at those games, the favourite to win and training had progressed really, really well. The morning of the race arrived, typical day, it was a beautiful sunny day. There was not a cloud in the sky. It was a great day for racing and on any given morning, typically I would do a warm-up some hours before the race so I'd go out do a mile or so some stretching drills just to keep the legs awake and alive prepare them for what was to come and on my way back from that warm-up back into the village I was stopped by a team official Sue Deaves who I'd known since I was a teenager representing the English team and Sue said to me Diane I need to have a word with you as we were entering my room and I said Sue I'm preparing for my race can't talk to you now can we pick this up later and she said no I need to have a word with you now and I pushed back I'm in athlete mode now very focused on my priority and I said Sue not good timing let's pick this up later and she she actually said no I do need to speak to you in a stern voice unlike Sue and she took me into her room and she held my hands which was really bizarre and we're facing each other and she's holding my hands and she said to me Diane, a drug test you gave nine months earlier has tested positive.

37:44And I looked back at Sue and I said, I've got to go and prepare for my race now. You've got the wrong person. And turned to leave the room. And we sort of went back and forth for a little bit. her saying, repeating what she said and me saying, I've got a race coming up. But it wasn't until she said to me, still holding my hands, no, Diane, I've got to pull you out. You are not racing. But I realised she was talking to me and it wasn't a mistake. It almost snapped me back into reality. and to be fair I don't remember too much of what happened but I do remember waking up on the floor with Sue looking over me and she was actually patting my face quite hard saying breathe Diane breathe you must breathe a doctor was called and the team official was called and I was still lying on the floor.

38:52They raised my feet onto a chair and then I really don't remember much. I was sedated with Valium. I wasn't able to go back to my room. I wasn't able to pack. I don't remember in great detail, but what I do remember was being put on an aeroplane with a nurse. I traveled with the nurse back to Heathrow Airport because they were seriously concerned about my health and I lost the ability to speak. I didn't speak that whole journey, didn't eat, didn't drink anything and the nurse was checking in with me but what I do remember was writing. I just wrote everything down, how I was feeling, how scared I was and I arrived at Heathrow Airport and they let everybody off the airport, off the plane.

39:49And there was only myself and this nurse left. And there was this conversation, hushed conversation. How are we going to get her off the plane? And because all the media are on the terminal, they're inside the airport waiting for her. And then this security guy came up to me and he said, do you want a blanket to cover your face?

40:17and I remember looking at him and saying I'm not going to cover my face I've not done anything wrong and I I'm so grateful for that moment because I was weak I was vulnerable I was sedated but I don't know where the strength came from to say you know this is this is not real you know and they then decided the best way to get me off the plane was where the food is normally brought up um and so myself and this nurse which was quite ironic in the end because we went on this makeshift lift but in a way we were just bait to the media because what happened was this lift just very very slowly went down to the ground and all the media were able to take all these shots and there is I'll never forget this image of me and the nurse coming off the aeroplane and it was recorded and it was just so devastating and that changed what the rest of my life that whole situation changed what the rest of my life was going to be like forever.

41:34Wow. I had goose pimples as you were telling the story there. So then you obviously did get home. And then there was a two years, I think, period for you of going fighting against what was out there.

41:57what drove you to absolutely focus on getting justice and how did you find the strength to do that given the absolute devastating situation you found yourself in the one thing that drove me and my husband who was really leading the fight was the truth we knew that i had never cheated i had never taken drugs every mile i had run every gym session i had done every heel session, all the short recovery work, the endurance, every single session that I had done was done through my hard work and commitment and knowing that that was enough to actually start the fight, but I think the thing that, you know, kept me and us going was the fact that, well, he said at the time, nobody's going to call my wife a cheat.

43:21And there were times when I just couldn't or didn't want to go on and you know it came very close to me wanting to end my life. I remember sitting in the kitchen you know ready to end it all in the most horrible way. And in the back of my mind, I just had an image of my mum and I would think about her and her strength. And I think the truth of just knowing that I had never cheated was enough to keep me going but it wasn't easy what we were able to find out was that the drug test that I had given in Portugal was allowed to sit on a windowsill in a laboratory for 48 hours in 72 degree heat so in the peak summer season in Portugal and at the time we didn't have any understanding of what a degraded sample could mean and so we got a brilliant scientific team from the UMIST here in Manchester, UMIST University and Professor Simon Gaskell was amazing.

45:08So he started to unravel and try to understand what happened to the sample when it was collected, how was it stored, who had sight of it, who tested it. And so what we know is that when I gave that sample, the alkalinity of the sample was tested, the pH value. And the pH value was tested at the time to around almost five, which is a normal range. But when they opened that sample and it was recorded, again, the pH sample had risen to something like nine. And in our layman terms, it sort of doesn't really mean much to you but the difference between an alkalinity of five to nine is a hundredfold so the bacteria has materially changed something is materially changing that sample but we didn't know what that meant at the time but through the scientists from the British Athletic Confederation as it was known then and my independent scientists we were able to understand that a bacteria, a sample that has been contaminated with bacteria can give rise to a false positive test.

46:28And that's the evidence that we put forward. And I lost the initial hearing based on that. They said, we don't believe you. We've never heard such a thing. Go away and prove it. And that's exactly what we did and so the university um you know of manchester and and you missed what they were able to do was take a sample from me take a sample from a marathon runner and a tennis player all professional all competing at a high level degrade them to a level that we knew they were left them on the windowsill for those 48 hours at 72 degrees heat. And guess what happened? All three samples, mine included, gave rise to testosterone.

47:21So they were false positives. And so as a result, the way dope testing is tested now, or the way samples are tested now, has changed, forever changed. The way samples are collected and stored are forever changed. But it was a huge human cost to me. I'd lost everything, we'd lost everything, and we're still recovering. Wow. I mean, it just shows the ramifications though, doesn't it? Of what might seem like an isolated incident or result that has such... It's like dropping a pebble in a pond and the ripple effect is huge. and like you say you know for you to get through that it's hell a hell of a thing thank god you did but obviously for you know for yourself and your family and as you were talking I was thinking about those pivotal moments of strength that just kind of appeared to you in your mind no I won't cover my face with a blanket and yet you couldn't even speak and yet in that really important moment you did and then you know to say no we are I've never I'm not a cheat I've never taken a drug and to just those pivotal moments and then seeing your mum yeah you know in your mind's eye when you were at your lowest lowest point I mean wow do you know what Jeanette I've never had that reflected to me in that way in the way that you've just reflected it back to me where for that journey, those hours and hours from Canada to Heathrow, I didn't utter a word.