What You Don't Change You Choose - How to Take Control of your Career & Life

0:01What is the fear that is stopping you from taking action on one of those things? Name it, give it a name. You know, this isn't about solving everything at once. It's about bringing awareness to your choices.

0:15Good morning, good morning. So today what we're talking about is what you don't change, you choose. And this is about taking control of your career and your life. So hello, brave, bold, brilliant leaders. It's Jeanette here and today I want to talk about one of the most freeing and yet the most challenging truths in leadership and life. So what you don't change, you actually choose. Now we often think of choice as a deliberate action, saying yes to a new opportunity, no to a commitment or making a big decision. But what about the things we simply allow to continue? You know, and the patterns that we accept, the circumstances we tolerate, the situations we complain about, but we never really alter.

1:02You know, think about it. That email process has always been a nightmare. The one difficult conversation you've maybe been putting off with a team member. The personal goal that you keep pushing, you know, to, oh, I'll do it next month. Or maybe even allowing someone to treat you in a way that you really deep down know isn't right. And here's the thing, by not making a conscious choice to change these things, you are in effect making a passive choice to keep them exactly as they are. Now, none of this is about judgment, because certainly I have done this a lot through my life and career and I still have to work on it.

1:40But it's really about empowerment, because when you accept this truth, you reclaim your power and you stop being a spectator in your own life and really becoming conscious, the conscious author of your next chapter. So today I'm going to walk you through three powerful shifts that are going to help you move from passive acceptance to intentional choice. Now, before we do that, though, I just wanted to make sure that you are all aware of the free resources available to you. Now, at Brave Bold Brilliant, we are all about supporting each other with our career journey, with our business journey, and really making sure that we can share our knowledge and wisdom.

2:27That's why I exist. It's why Brave Bold Brilliant exists. So if you haven't already, please do sign up to the Brave Bold Brilliant community. Now, the easiest way for you to do that is to go onto the website. So it is literally just www.brave-bold-brilliant.com. And if you go on there, you will see that you can just sign up to the community. it and when you go to the resource the learning hub you will see a resource library full of videos downloadable content for free okay because we're here to support each other and of course let's get connected on social media if we're not connected check out Jeanette Linfoot with two n's and two t's brave ball brilliant we've got business pages across linkedin facebook etc so So let's get connected.

3:20And of course, you know, if you're watching this, you might be watching this live on YouTube, our Brave Bob Brilliant YouTube channel. Hit that subscribe button because that's when you're going to get notified when we have new content available. And equally, if you listen to the Brave Bob Brilliant podcast, again, you might listen to that on Apple podcast. You might listen to it on Spotify, but make sure you're hitting that subscribe button because then we can stay connected. it. So let's get into this. I'm going to take you through these three shifts. So the first one, which I want us to cover today, is really around from tolerance to truth.

4:01So many of us are, we're just tolerating things that drain our energy, diminish our joy, or we're holding back our growth. And it could be a difficult team dynamic. It might be a frustrating client, or it might be a disorganized process that costs you hours every week and we tell ourselves often it's just the way it is or I'll deal with it later. How often have you put off dealing with something? I know I have over the years many times which is why I'm coming from this position of having been there myself and made these mistakes and continuing to have to work on them. But here's the thing, When we choose to tolerate something, we're choosing to live with the consequences of that thing.

4:47You know, the clutter on your desk, the unhealthy habit, the difficult conversation that you've been putting off. You know, these type of things, they don't disappear. They just stay there, sometimes in the background, but sometimes actually more present than maybe you even realise. And they compound. And the cost of this tolerance is often far higher than the discomfort of change. So the first step is really all about making a different choice to speak the truth. You know, acknowledge what you're tolerating. Call it out, write it down and stop pretending it's not an issue. This is about being honest with yourself.

5:26So let's take a common business example. The always on culture. Now, you might tolerate checking emails at all hours because everyone else does it. You tell yourself it's, you know, it's part of the job. But the truth is, you know, this is an active choice you're making and it will be taking a toll on your rest in your family life. You know, so by simply stating the truth of the situation, I am choosing to sacrifice my evening to my inbox. You take the first step towards change. You reclaim the power that tolerance has taken from you. And what this really allows you to do is to set some new boundaries.

6:09And equally, if you're a business leader, right, you are sending out messages to your team all the time on what you expect and on how you lead and run your business or run your department or run your team. So if you are sending WhatsApp messages, you know, really late at night or you're sending lots of emails on a Sunday that are going to land in people's inbox, in your team's inbox at the weekend. Think about how that might be received. Now, depending on the situation, sometimes it's urgent. And of course, you have to respond and you have to react. I get it. but equally sometimes you might be clearing your inbox but then that's actually going into someone else so you know it could be a choice to as simply as do all of the emails in draft and then schedule them for them to go out on Monday morning for example so you know as a leader what you're choosing and the signs you send out really do set those those tones and the way you're going to do things.

7:15So shift number one, and this works for both personal and professional as well. That's what we've just covered about reclaiming the power of that tolerance. So shift number two, let's go into this one. So this is about procrastination, really. It's about moving from saying someday to today. How many times have you said someday I'll learn that skill someday I'll start that project someday I'll set that boundary someday is an illusion it's a comfortable place to store our intentions so we don't have to face the discomfort of action but inaction is not a neutral state by not choosing to start today you are choosing to stay exactly where you are today you know the gap between your current reality and your ideal vision It's often built from a pile of some days.

8:08You know, the true choice happens in the present moment. It's a decision to take that first small step to have that tough conversation or to block out 30 minutes to work on your vision. You know, so someday will only arrive when you make a series of today choices. You know, so don't let your intentions live in a mythical future. You're just kidding yourself if you do that. Be honest. You choose them now or be very conscious and say, I'm not going to tackle that today. But rather than say someday, actually set a very specific date or a time in the future when you are going to take the action on that particular topic.

8:55So choose them now. And here's a practical way that you can shift. So if you struggle with this, this will help you. So if your Sunday is to improve your team's communication, your today choice might be as small as scheduling a five minute conversation with your team and lead to discuss it. If your Sunday is to launch a new service, your today choice could be as simple as writing down the first three steps. So those are just a couple of examples. So action, no matter how small, is a powerful antidote to the paralysis of someday, which can really just hold you stuck where you are and not where you truly want to or deserve to be.

9:45So let's take a look at shift number three. From fear to freedom. Now, at the heart of every choice that is not made is often a fear. And that fear, fear of failure, could be fear of conflict, fear of the unknown, fear of judgment. We're afraid that changing something will make things worse. So often we choose the familiar, even if it's painful. We tell ourselves we're being safe, but really we're just being stuck. But here's the most important insight. The choice to live with what you have is just as much a risk as the choice to change it. You know, the risk of inaction is stagnation, burnout, you know, and maybe even on the extreme, a life lived with regret and we only have one life.

10:33Let's make it count. You know, the fear of making the wrong choice is often more painful than the consequence of the mistake itself. So real freedom comes when you stop letting fear make your choices for you. You know, it comes when you look at a situation and decide with courage, I am not going to choose this anymore. I am going to choose something different. It's a choice to be brave in the face of fear, to step into the discomfort, you know, that will lead to your growth. So let's just kind of pause the breath a little bit. You know, remember what you don't change, you choose. It's a challenging idea, but it's also an empowering one, right?

11:16And this is an invitation to stop passively accepting your circumstances and to become the intentional creator of your future you know one conscious choice at a time so I want you now whether it's now or at block some time in your diary take a moment to reflect you know just really give yourself some headspace some uninterrupted time for yourself get a pen and notebook I always encourage this and really make three lists So list number one, what are you currently tolerating in your business or life that is draining your energy or holding you back? Right. Number two, list number two, what's the one thing you've been putting off until Sunday that you know would make a difference?

12:06And then number three, what is the fear that is stopping you from taking action on one of those things? Name it, give it a name. You know, this isn't about solving everything at once. It's about bringing awareness to your choices. It's about recognising that you have the absolute power to change and that every moment you don't is a moment you've chosen to stay the same. So, remember, you only have one life. Let's not get frozen with fear. Let's be intentional. Let's make a choice. So until next time, be brave, be bold, and of course, always be brilliant. really hope you've enjoyed this episode of Brave Bold Brilliant.

12:49Remember, check out our new website, www.brave-bold-brilliant.com. You're going to find loads of resources on there that's going to help you with your leadership journey and with the businesses that you're trying to scale up and grow. So take care, everyone. And remember, there are no limits to your growth, but it is by being brave and bold that you're going to unlock your brilliant.

13:16Thank you.