Aly & AJ: Disney & Dating Disasters (FBF)

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27:46That's why Tinder has astrology mode and music mode. It's an easy way to break the ice and start the conversation. Daddy Gang. Explore all the possibilities for yourself. Tinder, it starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today. Must be 18 plus. We've got a lot of girlies that listen. How did you get through it? What was your most like brutal breakup and how you got through it? Obviously, like we're not naming names, but just like the concept, like have either of you ever been cheated on? I mean, yeah, I was cheated on. How did I found out the guy was like hooking up with our really good friend at the time?

28:19No. How did you find out? It like blew up the friendship and the relationship. Yeah. I don't even know how it came out but it happened in the calabasas commons parking lot stop yeah and it was like it was and we were young so it was like obviously it hits hard no matter what age you are when you feel like wow i've been completely but this was like a friendship this was like a friendship a girl friendship that was was basically the breakup it wasn't like the guy if that makes sense it was like we had found out some stuff about her that made us feel like we didn't really know who she was and we had been friends with her for like a long time and that was truly the the worst breakup and it was a girlfriend break yeah that's those now and then we mended like we're okay now yeah like if we see her at a event or whatever we like we'll dm and stuff but we don't like hang actively which is kind of sad because it was a big part of our childhood but like that is so that was the guy that guy was like didn't even matter right you're like it's just the concept of what happened with the friendship that's always the worst when like understandably people are like don't blame the girl blame the guy and it's like no no for sure but if you were almost closer with the girl than the guy that you were dating yes that's where it's like how do you recover from those moments and then it gives you like full trust issues because you're like how did i not know that and you could like hold my hand while i'm crying over this and little do i know i'm crying because of you oh yeah that's sick okay ali go no um okay i'm trying to think gosh worst um you haven't been cheated on have you i haven't been cheated on that's nice which is actually good that is good I know that's good that's good I don't know what that's all clap for that um no trauma um yeah no trauma um I I'm trying to think of hmm I mean I've had guys I've I've had more guys probably break up with me than me break up with them okay so I've been broken up with probably quite a bit have you been blindsided by the breakups I mean I feel like I was blindsided many times yeah like not many but but a lot of them it was like you know I was being broken up with because this person was like a professional athlete and was like I need to work on my job and like you're a distraction I'm like I need to work on my tour bus right now you're a distraction I need to work on my job yeah I know wait ridiculous you know where you're sitting a direct quote no no that is the best direct quote I've ever heard a professional athlete telling you I have to work on my job.

30:37We, you know that I talk a lot about that. Yes, yes, yes. We, how long did you date? It wasn't that long, but it was very like, that was like a solid year. Maybe, maybe a little, I don't even know. What sport? Hockey. Football. Football. I remember being really heartbroken by that. Now I'm looking back on it, Vain, like, no. But to any of the girls that are like, I feel like around New Year, a lot of people end relationships because I feel like everyone's like, oh my gosh, like I want to start fresh. I want to kick this person to the curb or I want to like try something different. Like, do you have any advice when you look back at those relationships when people ended things with you as hard as it was in the moment?

31:19Now, when you look back, like give us some advice of how to get through those horrible blindsiding moments. Honestly, like having a couple of really solid guy friends was really helpful. Like I would talk to them about this and they'd be like, this guy's a total loser. Like absolutely not. And, And, you know, of course you could say, well, of course you're saying that. They want to get with you. But these were, like, truly platonic. Even if they do. Okay. Even if they do. They suck. But they were platonic relationships that were really, like, I would be on the phone, like, talking to Dan. Yeah.

31:48I knew you were going to say him. And be like, can you believe this? And he'd be like, this is an absolute sign that this guy is not right for you. And, like, he was only in it because he just wanted to, like, sleep with you and be done and over the next, you know. And you're like, thank you, Dan. Thank you, Dan. Now let's hook up. No, I'm just kidding. yeah totally um okay daddy gang needs some advice and i feel like all i'm getting from this entire episode is you guys are very wise and you've always been wise and you've always been like little yodas no literally like you guys no but actually you guys have been like people would let you into the club because they're like ally and aj are gonna keep it real you guys didn't lose yourself to fame you didn't you guys have like seemingly like very normal lives and you're still so successful and you're still in the spotlight so we need your advice okay okay you want to end a friendship where you've been drifting apart, do you have a breakup conversation with your friend or do you let it die out?

32:40I've done both. I've had more, if I'm being honest, I've had a couple die outs, not conversations where it's just kind of like you kind of stop texting and then it's like they also do. Yeah. And then it's like you kind of are like, we both know this isn't right. Yeah. Which is kind of a form of ghosting. It's not great. It is. I think you should have the conversation. When you have the conversation, It's bigger to do that. Do you think those were more extreme moments? Like did something? Yes, it can make it too big of a deal. But it was usually because it was based on something that happened that I was like, I can't really not see this now.

33:09And it's here and let's talk about it. And this is why I can't go forward as a friend. But I think that's good advice. It's like you kind of have to gauge where you're at. If it's just like you never really see each other anymore, but you have this like weight over you and they're not that great to you. You can maybe let it simmer. Yeah, to me, some things don't need like a spotlight. True. Sometimes it's not like this big, huge fight. Sometimes it's like, I'm seeing some things about your lifestyle that doesn't gel with mine or that, you know, I don't know, you weren't there for me in these moments that I needed you.

33:39And it's kind of like showing your true colors. And that's OK. We just part our own ways. That's like sometimes that's part of just growing up and being a girl. I think that's what's like been so eye opening as I've gotten older, like growing apart from friendships is so sad. and it's like horrible to look back at like some of my like high school friends that I'm not as close with anymore whatever or just also like recognizing like we really grew up and we are different or like we live our lives differently and that doesn't mean they're a bad person you're just like it doesn't mesh anymore but it is sad when a part of your childhood in that way kind of dies like wait I just said bye to a friend in a way that I know I'm not really going to connect with again and I think it's like sometimes yes sometimes those are harder than actual breakups with men sometimes where you're like shit that hurt but I think that's a good like bit of advice is like you can do both but I think don't actively seek out a conversation if the person's gonna be like wait what are you talking about it's too much if something happens absolutely address it yes but you can also like let something simmer if that's like the natural course of where it was gonna go anyways yeah and it says a lot if both sides aren't really reaching out then it's like the natural course was for it to fizzle period that says everything in a way okay you find out you were accidentally the other woman do you reach out to her or do you stay out of it i'm the type that would reach out yeah we're both breathing so heavy we're all like i'm like yeah i think i would contact i think i would i think i would i think i'm the other woman i'm so sorry i didn't know um well what's funny is that we've seen one of our girlfriends, our close girlfriends do that.

35:16And I, it was like, I was kind of being like, don't do this. This is cringe. Like why is this such a huge message? You know? I don't know if she did it right. She didn't do it right. I think there's a way you can. I mean, I've said that to her face. Like you didn't nail this. She literally wrote like a paragraph. Yeah, no, no, no. And also then that girl is like, uh, yeah, right. Sure, honey. You know? And then making her look like she's crazy when she actually was telling the truth. Then it You look insane. Yeah. Oh, this is really interesting. Yeah. I think a paragraph to ever start something off.

35:48It's bad. You got to go in shorter and just begin the combo rather than hit it hard where someone's like, oh my God, I need to like read this tonight when I have time, like and sit down and actually think about this. Yeah. But okay. So you guys would both say something. I would be like, I'm sick. I'm ill. I'm sick. Like this happened. I need you to know. And I'm so sorry. Bye. I kind of agree with that. Like I feel like if you were not, again, clarifying, you didn't even know you were the other woman. If you were aware, like then that's a complete different situation that's like on you. But if you weren't aware, I kind of agree.

36:20Because then even if she stays on her, you know what I mean? Totally. At least you had your moment to say like this moment happened and I said my piece and I can live with that. Love this. Yeah. If you knew one of your close friends was cheating on her husband who you're also friends with, how do you handle that? That's really hard. That's really hard. That's never happened. Thank God. Has that ever happened to you? Maybe not husband or you have a boyfriend. I have known – not husband, but yeah. I've known that there's like shadiness going on. And you're close to both of them. Yeah. And I kind of stayed out of it because I just didn't know.

36:56Did it dissolve on its own with you staying out of it? You know what's interesting is I'm not really that close with them anymore, so I don't know what happened. Interesting. But I also think maybe that partially is because it was like bleeding into every part of their – Sure. When you're lying that heavily in your life. That's a good point. It bleeds into every other moment in your life. Like she was more distant because she was being so cagey. And then I was kind of like, I don't know. Oh, wow. I think it depends on maybe who's the OG friend. Is it her or is it the guy? Like, I don't know. But if you met him at the same.

37:23I mean, if you met at the same time, it's hard. It's so hard. I'd like to think I'd have the courage to say something or to be like, I don't know. Like, is everything okay? Well, I want to think if I'm the same woman who's going to tell the person I was the other woman and didn't know until just now, I'd be that same person to say this. That's a good point. I like to think those two ladies are the same person. You know what I mean? I agree. Like bold. I agree. I think what's hard sometimes in friendship dynamics is like there's a lot of dynamics I feel like you start to feel as you get older and there's cheating involved.

37:52I have found sometimes I'm not privy to all the information of these people's relationships. And a lot of times I'm like, oh, you kind of knew that. Sure. I didn't get the whole side. Yeah. So I'm like, if I'm super close, if it was my best friend and I'm fine, I'm hearing something, I'm telling her, obviously, and be like, I love you so much and I support you. I just need to tell you I know this. And then I'm here, whatever you want to do. Because I think it's half the time the judgment that people feel when someone brings that information, they get so anxious, like, I have to leave him now. I have to leave her now.

38:23And it's like, I don't know, sometimes I feel like I come off as judge you when you tell them. So I also think your delivery has to be like, I love you. And I know this is so hard. I saw so and so at this restaurant and this was weird. And I'm leaving this information. Yes. But I'm here for you if you want to talk and like whatever you do I love you. I think now in my 30s that is how I would approach it but it would take me a hot minute to come to that like bravery of like okay we're doing this. You'd call your sister first. Yes. You'd be like what do I do? We would rehearse it. Totally. We'd rehearse it.

38:49I'd hold her hand while she says the conversation or we would go in person and I'd hold her hand in person. Thank you Raleigh. Okay. You accidentally send a screenshot of the conversation to the person you were gossiping about. never done that you don't know oh my god I have done that in college I was talking shit about the guy that I was seeing and I was like texting my friend and I was sunbathing I was at Boston University I remember exactly where I was laying I was in my little bikini and it was so bright out and I was holding my phone up texting and I was talking to this hockey player he was so dumb and I was just like so over it.

39:27And you texted it to him. I screenshotted it. Send it to him being like hockey player wants me to go on his boat later. Like I'm going to have to have like a couple drinks. And it went to him. And then what was his response? Was he like, um. Well see now you can unset. I know. So we're in a good era for that. So now we're good. Guys I literally responded I'm pretty sure like first I called my mom screaming. Like I you guys I am under the sun. I realize I do it. I'm pretty sure he responded like LOL at first, which is like actually kind of harmless. He was probably thinking like, oh, that's funny.

39:59Or shit. How dumb. This is a funny joke, right? Yeah. It shows how smart he is. You're like, I am hilarious. Yeah. No. And then I was like, LOL. I'm just kidding. Like, I just can't decide if I want to come. Like, what are you thinking? Good job playing out. Did he roll with it? He completely rolled with it. Wow. Saw him later that night. Ooh, but that says even more. You did start the conversation saying he wasn't smart. Completely. completely also why did I go I don't know I was bored you know what I mean yeah I think it was an ego thing where I was like I have to see this man to like make sure that he actually forgave me like this is insane that he doesn't recognize that I was completely shit talking him I would be more likely for sure to do something like that 100 % it would be you would way over me like I'm actually surprised it hasn't happened but it hasn't twice wait because you're just like you're gonna do some like clumsy shit where you're like how did I get in this situation like hello you're on the wrong group chat it's like oh shit there will be times we're all like sidebar chat to her and i'll be like just so you know you're talking in a way that if this leads to more this you're in the wrong you're in the wrong you're on the wrong track here and she'll be like oh thank you totally thank you yeah that is kind of like younger sister energy though like the correction officer i call my sister and i'm like are you okay and she's like what and i'm like why are you sending that to the family group chat you we were just texting and she's like oh my gosh i don't know like yeah I'm kind of that does track his younger sister it is it's like we we know everything like stay in line exactly okay do you guys ever go on double dates oh yeah yeah I mean with our people now with our guys now I don't think in the past have we ever really done that in the past I'm trying to think before Steven and Josh no I don't think so I don't think so that's become more of an adult like yeah it's been like three wheeling where it's like two people on a date and then I'm like hey I'm here hanging with you having lunch you know or vice versa that's true yeah let's talk about Steven and Josh um so serious Ali you met your husband when you were in your early 20s yeah what made him stand out to you um I don't know I just got a vibe like this guy is just different like he's really deep he's very mature he's just like tapped into something where'd you guys meet uh we met on a set he was the DP and I was the like lead actor in this like really tiny little indie um and I don't know like I just picked up this energy from him that um like just instantly I was kind of like this guy is like I'm like safe with this guy like I can really be myself around him and he's like artistic and he really cares about this project and how he's talking about it and how he is on set he has very much like a leadership kind of energy um even though he was very young and it was the first movie that he was you know a dp on um so i don't know it was just like it was a meant to be thing and at the time i was seeing a guy that i was in like i call it like a kept relationship um wait what like i couldn't get out it was just like he was a guy who was older than me that i had like that i had lost my virginity to to be completely honest and i was like girl we gotta get rid of i was like i'm good like it's it's all good like this is a sweet memory and moment but like we're done.

43:05You did break up and he got you back. And he was like I made you a woman like bad. He said that. He did. It's cringe. No. It's cringe. It's really crinsic. We know. How long were you together with him? Like a year like a year and a half. Yeah. I know I know. You had an okay friendship with him in the beginning. In the beginning. It's someone that should have always been like a guy friend. Like never should have dated. 100%. For a man to say that he made you a woman I will kill you. No I know. I know. I know it's gross. But the fact that I was like kind of chill, like almost kind of like a bro, like this is nice, like whatever, like who cares?

43:40I lost my virginity to you. It's like not that big of a deal. And he like had it in his diary. Yeah, it was very much a big deal. Like, wow, I'm excited about this. Wait, how did you end a relationship with him? Because that's hard. Like to be like someone that's clearly he was more into it than you. Yeah. You called it a kept relationship. Yes. I know, I know. I mean, you did end it. And then remember he like convinced you to stay in it? To stay in it. So I like, we had broken up. And then we got back together. And then I'm on this movie, like, hanging out, you know, shooting in Sequoia National Park.

44:09We're all staying in these cabins at the base of the mountains. So, like, after we would wrap, we all would eat dinner together. And hang out. And hang out and, like, run lines or whatever. And I just remember, like, essentially, like, talking shit about him to people being like, I don't know. I'm like, I'm in this relationship. But, like, I got to get out of it. Like, you know, at this time, it was like, what? It was like November, beginning of November. So I was probably thinking like, you know, I'm going to try to wrap this up and be on my way. But I knew that I had agreed to do a movie that he was directing that was next.

44:42It was the next film. So I had to do this next movie with him as a director. And I broke up with him at the beginning of the movie. I was so brutal. But then had to be in it. But had to be in it. Directed by him. Yeah. And he would be kind of trying to be like, no, like we can make this work. And I was like, we're done. I really don't want to do this. Wait, you're so strong for that. It was brutal. It was not. I do not recommend doing that. I recommend just bailing out of the movie and not doing the movie. True. But also that's like your career where you're like, do I do it? That's tough. Yeah.

45:10That's also like, ladies listening, I have been in that situation before. When you try to break up with someone, anyone, whatever gender. And they don't let you go. Okay. Literally won't let you. And they won't let you. That means it's really bad. Run. Run. Get out. It's kind of like firing someone that's like, you're not doing this. I'm not leaving. What? But why would you want me now? Like, if I'm firing you, we're not going to be a good match. He would always be like, no, that's normal. Like, there'd be, like, ups and downs. Like, sometimes, like, you'll be in and out of love. I'm like, no, no, no.

45:38That ain't how it works. No, when someone doesn't want you, listen to them and leave. Yes, believe them. Oh, my God. Okay, wait, so when you met Ali's husband, like, were you immediately, you, like. No, in the beginning, I was, like. I think she was a little judgmental. Hated. There's some. Not hated. There's some crossover that's happening here. I was a little judgy, I'm not going to lie. Okay, good. Even though I knew Allie was going to get out of it, I was like, you should have gotten out of it like six months ago and then you'd be like free and clear, but whatever. At least he turned into my husband.

46:04True. He turned into the husband, so I'm happy. Love that for you. And he's literally become like my brother. Like I love him. And I have so much respect for him as a husband and a dad. Like to watch him as a father, like it's really beautiful. But in the beginning I was like, I don't know about this guy. Why? Like he was really shy. He was really quiet. I don't do great with quiet people. except for like when I was translating. Except for you as a translator. But like in general, like I'm like, come on, like let's go. Like let's have a conversation. Like I've got a really bubbly personality. And he was just very quiet.

46:33He's like an intellectual. He's very, he's super grounded, super smart. And I think I felt maybe like a little like, okay, here's this like Ivy League guy. I'm not going to be able to like carry a conversation with him. He's probably smarter than me. Like I think I was intimidated. I get that. And again, back to what we were saying with sisters, it's like you're so protective and you have to look for her blind spots. Yes. That's how I am with my sister. Like she's dating right now. And I'm like, no, what is going on? And what it like, because I'm just like, I want the best for her. So naturally it is your job almost to be like, I don't like you until you prove that I should like you.

47:05Yes. And then he did. And I was like, I love him. Although two years later when he proposed, I like sobbed. Oh yeah. And you knew before. Yeah. I got so, not because I wasn't happy for Allie. I literally felt like I'm like, I'm going to lose my sister. I think like I had this weird, unrealistic idea that a marriage meant that then the sisterhood would be over yeah like I literally went up we were living together in Laurel Canyon and we were sharing a place and I went upstairs I lived in the top loft and I like closed my closet door and I sobbed I was so happy for her but at the same time I was like I'm literally gonna lose my sister and it didn't happen at all of course here we are yeah here we are do you think that's really relatable like I've talked about this with my siblings especially like around the holiday season you get to spend more time with your family and it is kind of like sad when you start to get older and adult and do all the things that adults should be doing and your core family starts to expand and it's like now you're creating your own family right and your own memories and traditions and it's so sad but exciting but I relate to that a lot of like as we are all growing older you're like we I want to hold on to my siblings and what we had in our core don't grow up and don't leave me yeah but really it's more just like there's now more memories and there's more fun yes it adds to you mourn nothing dies no but i get why you would freak out because like i'm the same way you're gonna on the wedding night like god bless our dad but like he we were doing like a dance even though it was a father daughter dance later down the road it wasn't my father daughter dance you had had yours but i was like later dancing with dad and i was like this is a really sweet moment and dad goes honey how are you doing and i was like i'm really happy for them like i feel really good about this and he was like that's awesome you know what you lost a sister but you gained a brother and i was like what the huh i mean it was everything i had cried about he didn't mean my dad just our dad talks like that yeah like he and i was like huh you're like wait come again you're like dad this is why i've been mentally unwell for the past couple years yes unwell but this is also the same man love you dad shout out to dad and mom great people this is also the same man who like lost his father a few years ago and steven never got to meet him our grandpa and literally at the funeral told Stephen I wasn't at the funeral because I was working at the funeral told Stephen I want you to meet my dad and he was dead in the castle but he's in the like that's you know what I mean like that verbiage is interesting it's just interesting you're like dad I want you to meet my dad it's no longer okay he's no longer here you want to shake his hand and I don't know how wait you were there to witness it I was there you said that Stephen handled it as Stephen handled it so well he was like okay Mark Stephen's like Mark I am gonna meet your dad and we're gonna hit it off over here.

49:41Stares at the open casket. But dads can say some really, really wax stuff where you're like, whoa. The more and more they get older, dads, you have to smile. My dad has been saying some great love you, dad, some crazy shit lately. I'm like, love you, dad. Love you, dad. Happy holidays. You're all insane. Okay, AJ, you have a boyfriend. I do. It's been six years. Yeah. How did you guys meet? We met at a film festival in Napa. Oh, yeah. Bougie. Allie and I – I know. It was actually bougie. Allie and I had made a film with her husband that had gone to the Napa Valley Film Festival. And he had produced and starred in a short film that was shortlisted for an Oscar that year that was also premiering at the film festival.

50:24Oh, wow. And it was an amazing short film. And him and I met and, like, there was, like, a spark. But at the time, he was with his girlfriend there. And I was dating someone in Canada. Classic. I loved Long Distance for a while, which was just really an odd phase. Yeah, he was really on that kick. and and I just was like gosh I'm gonna know this guy for a while and I don't know how or why and it's gonna happen at some point but I remember he was wearing this like lumberjack red black flannel and I was just like this guy is hot and he's like salt of the earth vibes and then down the road a year later he was single I was single and we connected on Instagram and we needed somebody in our video or take me I had to be a victim in our in our video because we were playing vampires and you're like you and you were like can we kill you in a video hot he should be in the video like let's have him in yeah wait what was your first impression how did you meet him when did you meet him i met him at the festival yeah i think like with you because maybe was there like a panel or something together i think yeah yeah and then and then we did the the video shoot and he was like super down and then we had a couple girlfriends come and also be victims and they were like down to just kind of like hang out for the day when they started dating were you protective or no?

51:32I don't know. What do you feel like? I feel like because you already had Steven in play for such a good chunk of your life, you've lost some of that because you're set and you're like, she's got this. Yeah. I think maybe when AJ was younger, I was more protective or more like, who is this guy? Like, what are you after? Are you actually a loser and you're just like hiding it really well? Yep. But I feel like I've always been on like good terms with most of the guys that you've dated. I feel like you have too. Like kind of a friendly banter. Yeah. You maybe not as much where you've been like friends with my ex-husband.

52:03True. In a way, I've been more judgmental about who she's dated than the other way around. Yeah. Which again, maybe is the little sister, big sister thing. Oh, me too. I'm like, you're a fucking loser. You don't deserve my sister. My sister's like, Alex, I've gone on two dates with this man and you just ran into him on the street in New York. This wasn't even a planned meeting. I'm like, back off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, what? um okay I'm like yeah that's a nightmare to have me your parents are divorced right yeah how do you guys think their divorce informed how you approached your romantic relationships in your adult lives if I'm going to speak for AJ I think that oh oh no that's fine don't speak for you speak for me yeah I think I mean we kind of do in general we speak for each other like maybe a bad habit but um I I think that AJ as the little sister vibes was more like heartbroken by yeah I took it really bad.

52:49And took it really bad. What age did they get divorced? 21. 19 and 21. Okay. Yeah, 19, 21. So like in a way you're old enough to know exactly what happened, all the details. Like I think there's a positive and a negative to it. But I think for us – I was shattered. It helped that I was on a TV show and I was living by myself alone for the first time out in Vancouver. Oh, yeah. And so I was just focused on that. And you were like left – At home. To be at home with my mom. still all of us at that point were living together and you were kind of mourning the divorce a little bit with her. So I think in a weird way you like carried some of that trauma with you where I was kind of like bye I'm off shooting the show for eight nine months and then I came home.

53:30But when you wrapped we ended up living together. We lived with our mom while she kind of dealt with getting her life back together after the divorce. Like we it would ended up being like a home of three women. Like yeah kind of. It was like three's company but just just ladies. No that kind of stuff like I know can like you're right affects people in different ways literally down to like logistically where you were at in the middle of your parents getting divorced can play such a role in like how it genuinely affected you because you got to be essentially removed correct yeah do you good point did you notice anything with like how that affected when you started to like engage in romantic relationships there was infidelity with what happened we're actually like super close with both parents and I was able to forgive our father and like I actually feel like we're in a great place now but at the time it was really hard for me and I think when I was dating people I immediately had this trigger that like they're gonna cheat up like they're gonna like because how could that happen after 23 years of marriage like I feel bad talking about it because I love my dad but like it really was one of those things that became a trigger point that like didn't really need to be there like no one needs to be assuming you're being cheated on you just feel like you've seen it now so you're like it's gonna happen it's horrible I also think like that's such an interesting dynamic because I could be sitting here with someone that had their parents get divorced when they were like six and it fucked them up right I it is interesting hearing you guys talk about because I know this is a very very very relatable topic which like I have a friend that has a similar situation to you guys with your parents when you are that age and you're very deep and about to begin to explore your romantic adult relationships to have a foundation that was like pretty it seems like pretty solid yeah for your whole very well people would be shocked you know to find out to find out like Like, wait, what?

55:07The Mishraka family? They broke up? So your reality was so, like, disrupted. I can imagine that. Yes. Like, then you're like, wait, if I can't trust, like, my dad, then I can't trust any of these men. When really, again, it's like they're doing this for the first time, too, and that's their relationship or whatever. But it affects you. It does. Girls. But I don't think it's like, or at least I didn't feel like it turned me off from marriage or not believing in marriage for whatever reason. No, no. I agree. We still like believed in the idea of it. And I don't know. I think we always felt like, okay, there is a chance that you can actually have a successful marriage in this day and age.

55:49You just got to really work on it. And I think if I'm – They stopped working on it. Yeah, they stopped working on it. If I'm going to be the little Yoda that I am in my heart. Yeah, bring it. Bring it. Here we go. That I am in my heart. I love it. I'm kidding. I love you. I'm joking. But I do love Yoda, actually. The child really is who I'm obsessed with. Yeah, the child. We love Grogu. Um, I think that not working on the relationship between the mom and dad, like, is, is the whole end of the marriage because everything was poured into me and AJ. And that was almost like a scapegoat. And then it was like, oh, we don't work on ourselves.

56:24We're not going to be in therapy. We're not going to do these things. We're not going to make sure that you are flown out on tour every, you know, two and a half weeks. instead we're gonna pride ourselves being the parents that were really there for the two kids in the industry but then it's like but then your guys's relationship apart which then affects us right that's interesting I saw someone recently talking about um when people just become their identity as being a mother or a father it's like you can't just be one thing like what's your identity to yourself what's your identity to your partner and that's how you lose yourself if you're just one I wonder like obviously how old is your child he's he'll be eight months I mean I guess when he's when we when this is out like oh my god you know almost almost oh my god yeah how has like that concept of like recognizing still needing to pour because you're in the thick of it right now like you've got basically a newborn how have you tried to like work with your partner to make sure you guys are good even in the excitement of having like a new child and that's all you want to talk about well I think I think making moments where it can be the two of us or even if like our kid is around it's like okay well he's like asleep right now we can still kind of have like a little date night and go out to dinner and put him in his little stroller and like it can still be romantic or we can put a movie on or we can get away to our favorite place in Big Sur and it can be not just all about the kid you know no your son is so adorable like when he was at tour I was It's literally like, this is the most calm baby.

57:51I literally walk into your dressing room. He's here? Yeah, you can see him. I see him after, yeah. Yeah. He's in a little, he's not in a matching. We couldn't get miniature, but he's in a little sweatshirt. But you would have tried. You would have tried. Yeah, we did. You know, I'm obsessed. The merch team was like, we can't get that turned around in time. They're like, please calm down. You're like, okay, fine. Okay, we're going to go through now. I want to do new music and we're going to play one last game because I think it's fun because sister dynamic.

58:19Call Her Daddy is brought to you by T-Mobile. Daddies, I'm starting to suspect that a night in is the new nightlife. Okay. This is my life now. Snacks, comfy clothes. I want to romanticize doing absolutely nothing. And on those nights when I'm staying in, T-Mobile has me covered with value that keeps on stacking up the more I use it. Like, hi, streaming benefits and snack perks that truly deliver. Guys, the math is mathing, okay? There are so many perks and benefits. T-Mobile is basically making staying in a full-blown lifestyle powered by carbs and content. I am a T-Mobile stan, okay? Anyone that makes me feel not only better but great about staying in, yeah, I love you, T-Mobile, okay?

59:08And if you have T-Mobile like I do, you won't believe how good staying in can be. Check it out at T-Mobile.com slash Magenta status. Disclaimer, streaming benefits included while you maintain a qualifying experience beyond plan line. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Hidden Valley Ranch. Did you know that this year is America's 250th birthday? Yeah, it's a milestone for our country and you can start celebrating right now with guess who? Yeah, Hidden Valley Ranch, baby. Hidden Valley Ranch is like, it's like the bold and delicious taste of America in a bottle. You know what I mean? And they're actually releasing, ready for this, a limited edition bottle in honor of our 250th.

59:52Of course they are. Hidden Valley Ranch is America's number one ranch for a reason, baby. It's an easy and delicious way to add creamy, zesty flavor to all of your celebrations. And with Memorial Day coming up, Hidden Valley Ranch will be the star of your barbecues. Let me be so clear. Hidden Valley Ranch will be in my purse. No matter what barbecue I'm going to, no matter what party I'm going to for Memorial Day, boom. Hidden Valley Ranch in my purse. And it better be in yours because every party food is better with Hidden Valley Ranch. And guess what? You'll be the star of the show if you are the one that shows up with Hidden Valley Ranch.

1:00:22So celebrate this summer with the bold and delicious flavor of America. Now in a limited edition bottle available at walmart.com slash hidden valley. Okay, ready? Who is the more bougie one between the two of you? Who likes the nicer stuff? I don't know. Maybe AJ. She'll splurge on more like a skincare thing or doing like nails. Your skin is beautiful. Thank you. Facials, massages. Oh, yeah, the spa, the spa. We both love a spa, but I tend to like maybe do it a little too much. I was going to say, what is the luxury thing you can't live without? The spa? Yeah, facials. Like every three weeks. Well, it's paying off.

1:01:01Thank you. AJ does. You have great skin. Oh, my God. You do at some days. Did you ever have bad skin like as a teen? Did you? Oh, my God, yes. so like i will take all the compliments no oh my god you guys i had like full accutane when i was younger oh wow really but it was just like very hormonal and then like i got over it and it was gone wow and now like here we are flowing facials um okay who is more likely to take a secret to the grave me i probably aj aj yeah you just smiled so i was like come on you're like give it to me that is true aj i'm like come on bitch it's me but i'm pretty good at keeping a secret but with each other like like got it to the grave together do you know what i mean like that's not to the grave that's not i know but it's like it has to be between the two of us who is more likely to pick a fight between the two of you i mean we both can pick a fight with each other pretty like quickly pretty quickly if it's the right subject matter you know the right thing if it's like we're disagreeing on something like how something was handled like ag will be like you had a bunch of typos in this one business email i'm like who cares yeah i'll correct correction off like she's like she will she's like you're you're you're writing an email like you're texting you know like you're like this is sloppy this isn't good for our business i'm like okay i'm like sorry like that you know that's not even a fight but like i usually start something sooner i feel like than you that's probably true yeah aj's maybe a little more fiery i love if you had to say what is your biggest pet peeve about each other i just like start a full fight between you guys on this oh my gosh i have it wow oh wow ali started doing this in the last like year very consistently i I actually don't think I have addressed it with you.

1:02:32Oh my God. Where she'll go, maybe you could do that. Yeah, you're right. It's me being like. She'll start a sentence that she's asking you to do something, but instead it's like, maybe you could get that bottle, like for Jack, or like maybe you could get that. That's true. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know how you word it exactly. I think it starts with maybe you could. Oh, interesting. And it's like, you want me to? Like, you want me to, or I could maybe do it. Like, ask me the question, and I'll do it. Okay, so I should just be asking the question. Yes. Or just be like, get me this.

1:02:57I don't understand it. Get me this. I mean, I'd rather you just say, like, do that. Get the burp cloth. Maybe you could. Maybe you could. Oh, interesting. Oh, that's infuriating. That drives me nuts. That's a good one. Drives me insane. That is a great one. Okay, your turn. Ooh, AJ. Hmm. Okay. We both are OCD, and we know this about each other. But AJ loves to reorganize an area that I've already kind of pre-tried to organize, knowing that AJ doesn't like something moved. That's true. Like the shoes or something. I'm like, okay, she'll like it in this corner. I love things lined up perfectly. And then it's like moved and it's like the shoes are just in a different corner, but they're still on the ground.

1:03:31And you're like, I literally cleaned for you. I'm like, I'm clean for the OCD, like just trying to get ahead of it. But that's OCD. You can't. It's a beauty. It has to be your way. You know what I mean? It has to be your way. It doesn't make any damn sense, but it's your way. No. There's nothing logical. Yep. Nothing logical. It's like this pile of clothes. You're lucky I did not reorganize this bookshelf. I can't imagine what you're feeling in this room. It's only in my own space. That's what's weird. That makes me feel good. never in someone else's ever who is the first to usually apologize if you guys are coming back from a fight probably aj yeah ali i don't even remember the last time you said i'm sorry yeah yeah i'm not good at saying she does not apologize yeah that's okay no you said but you're you said you're usually lightly starting it and then you're ending it yes yeah love that for you i'm a closer um you guys your new music okay we're here let's talk about it you have a new album coming out and a single.

1:04:19The single is coming out on January 10th. Love. What is it called? What it feels like. We were supposed to do that at the same time, but it's fine. Yeah, let's do it again. Ready? What is it called? What it feels like. Wait. Fuck. And five, six, seven, eight. What it feels like. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Okay. Talk to me about this album. What is the inspiration behind the music? I mean, this record feels like it's never been more us. Obviously, every single album you're hoping to achieve, you know, that 10 percent better. Right. Each time, just like you would with like each season of the show. But I do feel like we've really stepped into like our womanhood on this album.

1:05:00And I think part of that is, is I think just seeing that this music has been so informed by our live show and touring and playing songs to a live audience and with our band that we've now been playing with for a few years has really helped us identify, okay, this is the kind of music we want to put on a record. and what we want to then go out and tour. So I think it's looking at it from like the live show is the top of the pyramid and how do we get to the live show? And I think a lot of this music was created with people that we felt really safe with and was while I was like heavily pregnant. I mean, I guess we started writing it right before I got pregnant.

1:05:50And then really the whole making of this album has been either me pregnant and then delivering and then album is finished and delivered itself. Oh my God. Yes. Her water broke in like day two of like pre-production. At her house. At my, yeah. In the guest room. At like 6 a.m. That's kind of like beautiful. I was texting with Steven. It was very, it was very hot. I'm like, what's going on in there? He's like, I think her water broke. I was like, what? We just started the album. And then I got really nervous thinking OCD. I was like, she's going to be pissed because this water is on her bed and on the ground.

1:06:18Not when it's like your child. although that is pretty funny Ali's like clean it up I was like clean it get the rags wait oh my god wait okay so how long was the writing process of this album the writing was finished so I would say the writing took a solid year yeah before we really were ready to be like these are the 15 songs we want to record we're very like like just maybe just under maybe just under a year yeah this is a hard question what is your favorite song off the album that's hard I'm so happy with this record but I really think my number one is Michael's song. We wrote it about a really dear friend of ours that we had worked with in the industry for years and he passed away last year.

1:06:59And we were like, we have to write about this. And we were on tour. We were on tour during the funeral. We weren't able to come. Our parents came on behalf of us, which was really sweet. We're really close to his daughter and his wife. Literally like a longstanding member of the Alley Major team. Like the longest running team member for us. He was our business manager for years. The father figure. You know, so it was very hard to come to terms with it. And then we felt like this could be a song, you know, and it's so specific. Like when you listen to the song and you read the lyrics, you're like, oh, this is this is very specifically about.

1:07:35Like the very last time we saw him. And not knowing, of course, it would be the last time. That it was like our last dinner. But I feel like that's such a powerful message because everyone has experienced grief. So they'll be able to like transport themselves probably when they're like the last time they saw whoever it was to them that they lost and they what is your favorite honestly it's kind of a tie between two and I think it's because it has to do with my son and then the fact that I was leaving Laurel Canyon to then live in Santa Barbara like away from AJ and I wrote I basically wrote this song with AJ about um like moving into this new house in this new space and it not feeling like a home and feeling like I was kind of like summoning it to be this this place that I felt welcomed in and not not like it had like bad juju or vibes I just was like this isn't perfect and this isn't right and I want to change out this doorknob and my husband was just like okay and I'm like pregnant and like nesting and I'm just like frantic like fix this this needs to be fixed and it just and and I was like you know what this would be a good song like willing this to happen and to make this space a home.

1:08:43And I really love AJ's, the way she sings the bridge on that song. The song's called, I Don't Know What It Is. And I think that song, just whenever I listen to it, it's almost kind of healing because I'm finally at a place where the home doesn't feel like - A shell? Yeah, like a shell. It feels like, oh, this is a place that has good memories and I associate like my birth and I birthed in this living room right here. And this wasn't traumatic. This was all kind of what I hoped it would be. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah. So I think it's like the end story of it is really great, but it was very much me struggling to find my identity within the home.

1:09:21And then the other song that's like maybe equal to that is a song called Dandelions, which is about Jack. And we kind of wrote this pre him being born, which is crazy. Knowing he was coming. Knowing he was coming and that we wanted him to like have this message of hope and like whatever dreams we're not able to reach, he is more than capable of reaching. them himself you know that is hopefully each generation reaches more oh my god how crazy and cool that you guys like one day like your son will get to watch you perform a song about him live and listen to it and have it forever like that's such a beautiful gift yeah i mean that is the power of songwriting yeah it really is i think the other thing about specifically songwriting and it's funny because i'm learning constantly about music we've actually already written but i'm learning new things about what we've written after the fact like to me when a song takes on a new life, but it had a different meaning when you wrote it.

1:10:12Like, I don't know what it is. Now, when I listen to that song and I picture your home, which you've now created from the ground up as like a beautiful nest, I'm like, whoa, this is so different than how we came at this song, writing it, thinking we're splitting up as sisters. We're no longer going to live in the canyon by each other. We're like, what are we doing? We're going to be torn apart. And it's like, no, we're just shifting into other parts of our life. Right. Now that song is like, shows your growth because you're like, now your house is a home and now you're so happy. This is what I love, how songwriting teaches you something, but you wrote it.

1:10:42And a year later, you're listening to it differently. It's kind of prophetic in a way. That's really cool. It is prophetic. How songwriting is. It is. And I think with this record, there was so much feminine energy around it. And I think part of that was me being pregnant. But then part of that was us just going through the growing pains of we are getting older and we don't live down the street from each other. And we aren't living in our childhood really anymore. We're out of that phase. And we're not in our 20s anymore, which we just got reminded by an executive. Yeah, literally. Stop. No. We went to have a meeting.

1:11:13No, with a label. Like a label meeting. Literally like last week. The note was like, we love the record. We think it's amazing. But like, we're not here to break women in their 30s. Like, we're here to break pop stars in their 20s. I was like, so we need to be like 21 or something? I was like, I'm 35. I was like, I'm 33. I was like, we're still young as hell. And I was like, now I'm reminded that we're not somehow. AJ, after the meeting, she's like, I'm sorry. I just, I have to kind of like, like, not after the meeting. I had a process. It was after we had heard that it was a no. So it was like, you know, we did the meeting and then it was like, you know, whatever it was.

1:11:38Two days later, it was like, oh, a call is coming, you know, and we're kind of going, okay, well, I want, I hope it's like positive. And then that was the feedback. And Adria was like, I just need to sit with this for a minute. Yeah, because I'm like, I've never even thought of myself as not being in the zeitgeist of like a young - Right, and you're also like, is the music good or no? Right. Like, what does that have to do with how old I am? I know, I know. And it's like, how many times do you think they've said that to a man? Probably never. We're not trying to break a, what? I know. I know. Also, I'm like, we're not horses.

1:12:05Yeah, yeah, totally. Like, you don't need to break us. Totally. And we've broken. You know what I mean? And also, I think part of it was, besides, you know, like you said, the fact that it's maybe not ideal age for breaking an artist, whatever, in the music industry. I think part of it was also like, the album was completed and done. They couldn't meddle and change stuff. Because it was finished. Because it's finished. It's not like, hey, here's some demos. And they're like, oh, yes, we love track. one no to two three and six change this sound and you're like no and they were like you know and we wouldn't maybe go down this route like sonically for you i'm like like us playing music and writing the music like what what do you mean oh yeah it's wild so it was though a blessing that you guys did on your own and you don't want to work with someone that doesn't want to like doesn't want you in the way you are exactly at right now because clearly you guys said you have other records that you never put out this feels right to you yeah so go with what feels right it's it's it's a message that that is very pure and what it is there's no like a gimmick behind it so they're not like oh I can like it's harder to sell yeah it's harder to sell something because they're like what's the shtick and it's like just we're sisters we play music we write we've been doing this since we were young but I think that's like the best part about you guys like I have to say growing up and listening to you guys you have such incredible voices but hearing you perform live at my tour I remember like pinching my best friend Lauren being like their voices are so beautiful like literally you guys have like such incredible voices and what I appreciate about you guys and about this album is actually more like that it is real it is obvious when people have not written their music and when they're told to wear the certain thing and look the certain way just kind of like you guys are describing you would go into meetings and you feel people trying to shift and mold you into something that you're not and I think if people are looking for something in their life music wise that's actually going to connect them to the real shit that they're going through this is more of the album i think like people right now are more interested in than maybe who knows no but sure you can love pop but like i really think that you guys are connecting to something that people are loving which is authenticity so it's exactly what you're sure yeah and i feel like people gravitate towards that you know i think people are that's why this show works like it's authentic speaking to the truth you can tell women talk and how women feel and how we communicate with our friends.

1:14:24But you knew that was a missing piece. Yes, yeah. It wasn't really going on. I think it's so exciting to see you guys like back at it. And I think it also is such a testament to like your ability to be critical of yourselves, to be like, we didn't put out certain albums because it didn't feel right and we weren't ourselves. And so the fact that like this is all you, this was done at a very incredible, vulnerable, emotional time in both of your lives. Like I think that the world is going to be so, so, so excited to hear and they're going to love it. So I'm so excited for you guys. You are so lovely as human beings.

1:14:57I know we haven't spent that much time together, but like I feel like I now know you guys enough to be like you guys are real ones. So thank you so much for taking the time during the holidays and coming and sitting down with me. You guys are the best. Happy New Year. Thank you. You could be a little sister. Oh, I'm putting it on. You're an honorary. We look like we're related. You're the youngest sister. You are the youngest. I'm coming. I'm coming in. I'm going to put it on. Love you guys. Love you too. Thank you. Love you.

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