Becky G: Cheating & People Pleasing

37:09Oh, no, I did not receive it. Girl, that's a whole other thing. Was I willing to receive it? No. Because again, the system isn't, it's subconscious. It's not, I don't think our parents go through life saying I want to cause our kids harm. I don't think our grandparents do that saying I want to cause my kids harm. You know, these are just things that systemically exist, you know? And so when I say it's generational, like it's generational. And so I'm like, yeah, but somebody's got to do it because if I don't, who else will? And that was the voice that kept me going for a really long time until I ended up in therapy.

37:45And I was like, yeah, I can't. This isn't sustainable.

38:04for a second, the average bank savings rate is 0.39 % in interest. You're earning pennies on your savings, but it doesn't have to be that way, Daddy Gang. With SoFi's high yield checking and savings, the money barely making moves sitting in your savings account can earn over eight times the national average savings rate with eligible direct deposit, no account or overdraft fees. You can get your paycheck up to two days early, plus get an epic welcome bonus when you sign up with eligible direct deposit. Sign up for SoFi Checking and Savings at SoFi.com slash CallHerDaddy today. SoFi Checking and Savings is offered through SoFi Bank and a member FDIC Terms Apply.

38:48Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Shopify. If you are an avid online shopper, then you know there's something really reassuring about seeing the purple shop pay button at checkout. Oh, it hits every time. No, it literally hits every single time. And business owners know that Shopify's ShopPay button means a streamlined one-click checkout, which means fewer abandoned carts and better conversion rates, which equals happier customers and less stress all around. It's basically a science, okay? ShopPay removes the friction, more completed orders, fewer drop-offs. Shopify lets you move faster, reach more people, and operate like a real business from day one.

39:27let me tell you something when I am selling call her daddy merch unwell merch Shopify has changed my life and they've also changed my life as a consumer because yes when I hit that button boom all my information's in there boom I'm just I'm shopping away okay that can be your life too build your store own your audience and create something that lasts start now at shopify.com slash daddy call her daddy is brought to you by Sephora from less is more days to full glam routines everything you need for all things beauty is at sephora yep sephora is where you will find the hottest newest products you won't find anywhere else the ones popping up in every get ready with me think summery fragrances like kaoli eden plush pear 23 eau de parfum next level makeup the skincare that keeps you glowing like it's your full-time job shop the newest hottest beauty only at Sephora.

40:22I feel like so much of our dynamic with our parents shapes the partners we choose and how we show up in relationships. Like looking back, how do you think your upbringing influenced the relationships that you were drawn to? Oh, tremendously, tremendously. I think Like the first time we ever experience love is through our parents' eyes. You know? And it's, yes, of course, in the way they love us, but also in the way they love each other. And I think I grew up in a culture, I mean, it's going to sound funny, but it was like very ride or die. And like me today is like, if I ride, why do I got to die?

41:04Like, why do we got to die? Where are we going? I want to know. Like, if I'm riding, there's some conditions here. There's some boundaries that I'd like to put in place, you know, but it was very much this like my grandma would say this phrase to my mom with my dad and in regards to their marriage, like put your gloves on like you're going to fight for your marriage. And I remember being young and being like, well, that's very one sided. Like, shouldn't it be both sides? Like, shouldn't it be? But you can only meet people as deep as they've met themselves. And I think my mom had a very profound way of loving.

41:40Um, and my dad did too, but it just looked very differently. You know, it looked very different. I know you grew up in a household where one of your parents cheated. And then in your documentary, you opened up about being betrayed by your partner. How did you decide to share that with the world? You know, I remember going into that process with the documentary and particularly and there being conversations about, are you going to talk about this, you know, very public situation? or you're not going to talk about it? And I was like, well, we're going to talk about it. We have to. To me, I've always believed like half the truth is still a lie.

42:18And there was conversations about like, well, I just wouldn't even mention it. Like some people don't even know what happened. Like some people don't even are looking for it. And I'm like, yeah, but how can I have been in a relationship with someone for so many years and do a body of work, you know, that's supposed to really capture where I am and this time in my life and also my history and control all delete and pretend that this person never existed, you know? And I was in many relationships, but particularly in a long-term relationship since I was 19 years old. And I know that there's like things online about like the 19 theory.

42:58Like, you know, when you go, I think anybody who gets into a serious relationship at a young age isn't conscious of the fact that you are going to shed and you are going to go through seasons and that doesn't stop necessarily but in your younger adult years I think I had a very strong sense of self based off of old programming and when I went through this very public situation with my partner it was like this like awakening it was this like moment of like oh there's a massive misalignment in who I thought I was and who I actually am. And I think that that happens a lot for people who grow up in family systems where it's like, you can see it on someone else.

43:48So easy to judge someone else and say, oh my God, like, don't you see it? You know? And then you can find yourself on the other side of that table the next day and be like, wait, hold on. Not everything is what it seems. And also, I am not my mother, and he is not my father. And so there's also the possibility that there's an opportunity here for there to be some healing, whether together or not. An opportunity though, nonetheless, to really practice what it is to be the person that I know I want to be in this world versus who I thought I was. Right. And that's like going so far back into, again, the conditioning of the chronic people pleasing and like wanting to just say yes and wanting to be like sweep it under the rug and keep it moving, you know?

44:41Yeah. And even like, I appreciate you saying that because I think having had like you just like we're talking about like watching your father cheat on your mother and being like, okay, I have a documentary moment where I have something playing out in my life that to me at face value could look like I'm reliving what happened to my parents. But now I need to assess it and be like, I can't let my shit from my past influence like what is how I feel right now with this partner and what do I want to do? Like, do you mind talking about just like when you found out, like, how did it affect you? Because you're obviously in such a more healed place now.

45:24But like, I've been there. I have been there, girl, where like I stayed with someone who cheated and I wanted to stay. But I was it was so complicated because those decisions are like people are judging. You don't know how to react. Like, how did you handle all this in the moment? I think also you saying like you wanting to stay. It's interesting because your want isn't enough. like you can want it so bad but that's just not enough you know and I think that understanding where that want comes from is also really important because if you're just doing it to want to prove other people wrong then you're just doing it for others and that's not a good place you know to come from and it's interesting because well I've first off I've never talked about this so it is uh I'm thankful for the safe space to be able to talk about it because some of the stuff that I was challenged with, there's a private heartbreak that's taking place.

46:18And then there's a public heartbreak that's taking place. And both are extremely painful. But what was I think the hardest part for me to navigate through was giving myself that space and grace to make that decision for myself. And that was one of those moments where it was an opportunity for me to heal and look inward as to, okay, whether it's this person or another person that I get into a relationship with, I'm capable of still making these same decisions. So this is more than just like a, well, let me be the Barbie that everybody wants me to be and play Cupid with all of these cute guys in the industry that everybody wants me to be with.

46:57And because my life is supposed to be entertainment for other people. Or let me, you know, really listen to what other people's perception is on what an empowered woman is. You know, this very binary thinking, right? I wanted to go there. I really did. Oh, man, the therapy sessions that I had of this like very black and white space that I was existing in. It's like, you know, and it was very clear to me that it was a space where I needed to decide for myself. But that's so hard, Becky, because like, I think we all know like there, especially because you were handling it in the public and private, like you just said there is such a loud narrative especially for women of like if you stay you don't respect yourself if you stay you're weak and like what what is your take on that assumption and how did you manage to like block that out and be like what do i want it's interesting you say that there's a a quote that esther perel who i know you've even spoken to who i love i have the biggest girl crush on her she's amazing i remember hearing something along the lines of like you know back in the days women used to be shamed for leaving it was just a mistake how could you leave how could you throw it all away you know he can change and then now it's like the opposite now it's like if you stay you're a dumb bitch you you're a dumb bitch you so stupid i cannot believe her oh my god i could never.

48:30I could never. And it's like the girls who would say I could never like I actually love that for you. I love that that's where you started that that was your ground zero. That was not my ground zero. My ground zero was people pleasing, self sacrificing, doing what other people wanted me to do, forgetting that I mattered in that equation. And this was an opportunity in my life to unlock and go inward and make this about me, which was so uncomfortable. You know, it was really, really uncomfortable to go inward and say, wait, this is about me and what I want. And if you know me, you know that I do not make decisions passively.

49:08And it was so hard to shut out the noise. And the insiders say, she didn't, she didn't even say anything. They just swept it under the rug and kept it moving. Like, no, I called off my engagement. I took off my ring. Like, there are things here that took place behind closed doors privately between me and this person who I love and care for deeply, who I've been betrayed by. And we could go into the spectrum of betrayal because it looks different for everybody. But the thing about betrayal is it doesn't just make you not trust the other person. You don't trust yourself anymore. And so that was like, this ain't even about you anymore.

49:51This isn't even about them anymore. This is about me. And there was something so empowering about that process to say, no, I come first. This is about me. What do I want? And there has to be alignment with the person on the other side. Like I said earlier, like the want isn't enough. The love isn't enough. Like love is, it's a beautiful thing to experience for someone. But I mean, considering everything I went through with my family, like I walked away from my dad. Like it wasn't something that I wasn't willing to do. And so I think the misalignment from how from a public perspective, how it was so.

50:31And I'm not really like a controversial person, you know, maybe getting getting by got drunk in Disney World is probably the most controversial thing I've done. So it was so unfamiliar for me to kind of like where this like, I don't know, this thing that was projected onto me that I am like not an empowerment. woman that I'm a contradiction about what I sing about and it's like no those feelings are real what I sing about is real like those there's so much more nuance to emotions like you're putting me in a box and everything I've ever worked for is now being squeezed into this tiny like I'm put to be this small all of a sudden and it's like everything else I had ever worked on didn't matter anymore and like of course I was you think I was mad at everybody the world I was mad at him too I was like come on why do I got to be put in this position you know it's so hard it's like almost like when someone experiences it with their friends and family not wanting them to go back like imagining that heightened to the 100th degree where the world is like what are you doing what are you doing and then putting the world aside for a second because I think this can be really relatable because again, I went through it.

51:44Like, how did you navigate the emotions of feeling so hurt but loving someone so much? I think that emotions aren't forever. They're temporary. They come and they go. I can't make life decisions based off of other people's emotions in my comment section. You know, I think when you are a person on a platform or of some type of celebrity and fame, you are a bit of like a mirror to other people sometimes. And they think they're seeing you, but really what they're seeing is themselves. And so maybe they've gone through something. And that's why when when a girl stands on her, I could never I'm like, girl, from this point on, I could never trust me when I say I just had to get there.

52:28Like I said, their zero was that mine had to be learned experienced felt processed um and and really like worked on with real professional intervention before I could make that decision and that was that that's what was really I guess um important to me when it came to the documentary and like talking about it I was you know some people were like it's very unresolved like are they together are they not and I was like well that that's what it was it was three years ago and it was unresolved we didn't know what was we were going to we were committed to working on it and we were committed to figuring it out because when you spend that much time with someone it's not that you want to forgive and forget you almost have to remember you have to remember what you come from and the hurt that's been caused to know that you don't want to be capable of ever doing that to someone else ever again.

53:22And I got to experience that. And I did, there were close people to me with enough, I think, discernment to know that people who don't know me don't, should not have a say in what I do with my life. Um, but there was people in my close circle who were protective of me, of course, who were just as hurt and upset about what happened, but also just as curious and also just as supportive of the figuring it out. Because if this was going to end, it was going to end amicably. It was going to end with clarity and with real resolution and with respect. Because that's what I deserve, you know? And if it's going to continue, in the words of Esther Perel, I love her, it's got to be a new relationship.

54:09Because what was can no longer be anymore. And I know that there's a lot of things with like betrayal, you know, in relationships, any type of betrayal trauma in general, it's like, it'll never be the same again. But maybe that's the point. You know? Yeah, it's such a, it is such a great point. Can I ask, are you still together? Girl! Yes, yes. Okay, so can we talk about like, one, how does it feel right now just like talking about this for the first time? I got butterflies. Well, I'm happy for you because I remember in the days, weeks, and like month following when this happened to me, when this happens like your your reality is so shattered because like you said you don't trust yourself you don't trust him you're like wait what what what just happened I'm really struggling to understand how we got here how did you stabilize your reality and what questions did you need to start asking yourself that you're kind of referring to that got you to the place where you knew you wanted to move forward?

55:09I think removing myself from the relationship. Yeah. And in a way that was about not just like self-preservation, obviously, like I was distraught and broken in a lot of ways. But I think it was more like removing myself from the context of anyone I've ever had to be something to. So it was much deeper. Like what came from this revelation wasn't just like my romantic relationship with this particular person. It's like every romantic relationship I've ever been in. Every family relationship I've ever had, every business girl, every business relationship I've ever had. How many dynamics have I been in where this version of myself has been in the driver's seat?

55:55And really taking the time to evaluate it, feel it, understand it, and then come to a place where then my needs my wants are a lot more clear and then getting to you know a what is it called like conscious uncoupling you know like conscious uncoupling to then be like this is the new baseline is there still alignment and where it is that we see ourselves you know and that was really empowering not just for me I think for the for the both of us but um but especially for me like getting to a place where I was like oh no like I'm allowed to change I'm allowed to evolve and I'm allowed to exist in this so much differently.

56:35And if I'm capable of doing it, what actions are you doing that proves that you are committed to the same thing? And that takes time. Like that doesn't happen in weeks. That doesn't even happen in months. Like this happens with continued effort and experiences and willingness. And it's that commitment to being different on both sides. I'd say that really is what unlocks the healing of it all. How did you start to rebuild trust? And like, how did he meet you there? Because I think it really can't just yes, be on the person who was the person who strayed. Like you also, like you're saying, have to take up accountability to also be like, I'm not going to hold this over your head.

57:21I am choosing to move forward. Like what did rebuilding that trust look like for both of you? I think you just know. I think it's just it's so it is. I remember being like, okay, well, I can't trust my gut because my gut has led me into some funny places, right? If I'm always going based off of survival mode. So like really, I don't think overanalyzing it, but really being honest with yourself at what part is coming up like I did in individual therapy and family therapy and couples therapy, like I do a lot of parts work and it's so helpful for me because it makes me understand that I'm not just this version of myself right now.

58:00I'm every version and this one and will be many more, you know? So like that grace that we were talking about before was something that I felt like I needed to take my time with. And so it was just, it was just me. I was really like learning to give myself the space and empowering myself with the experiences, with professional intervention, especially to be able to to feel good about this decision, because like I said, I think that whole like it'll never be the same again. Like something about that was actually exciting. Like, oh, there can be something new. And it's like, oh, I'm not the same version of myself that I was when I was 19.

58:43When you first met me, you're not the same person that you were at 22 when I first met you like we are very or 23 very different versions of ourselves today you know and and so I don't know it's just this like earned wisdom I guess you can say that kind of is the guide in that and I think what's so powerful what you're talking about and very relatable is how you're talking about it's not just you as Becky at this age going through this with your partner it's still like I we talked about the beginning of this is like the younger you watching your dad cheat on your mom and watching your mom with like the boxing glove analogy and being like well why do I gotta die like why do I gotta ride or die like what if we can have these honest conversations to go back a little bit to your childhood how did you really really have to consciously work to be like my emotions right now are about my partner in this or are my emotions right now about what my father did to my mother and how am I going to try to differentiate the two?

59:49Very evident to me from the beginning, I think, at least in this season of my life when this took place. And so, yeah, I knew I couldn't trust myself in that moment to make any decision. it was like it was again very binary in my thinking it was like you're either fuck yes or absolutely not and it was like I'm gonna end up in the same situation if not here with someone else and I need to take this time to figure out why like why what is the why I remember I think it's in your documentary you kind of talk about how your dad wasn't like entirely secretive about his infidelity with you and it put you in some really difficult situations like how when you look back at your younger self do you think those moments impacted you as a little girl yeah it of course it impacts you I think it definitely leaves an impression of like oh so that just happens and like younger me teenage me outworking my dad being a better husband being a better father really standing on my I could never it's different when you end up in your own situations you know And like I said, it wasn't just this particular relationship.

1:01:00It was like every relationship I had ever been in was a dynamic of me hoping that things would be different and masking this like subconsciousness of passiveness around this. To stay or to leave is anyone's choice to make, you know, for themselves. and I made my choice and I made it from parts of me that I, like I said, really worked on and earned to feel good about that decision. But I also can see all the other sides now, you know, and it's really a relief to be able to talk about it because I know that there's so many people who don't know me, fans who are very supportive and very loving, you know, who saw me kind of going through this from an outside lens, not knowing the details, not knowing everything that actually happened, not knowing that what you see is not always what it is.

1:01:58And I feel like for them to know, like it wasn't something that was done passively and it wasn't something that wasn't done taking everything into consideration. It's not that it was important to me for validation, but it was important for me in the sense of standing up for myself. Absolutely. And I also just to like reiterate what you're saying. I think it's so I can even feel it from you. I'm also happy you're talking about it because I can imagine even if you don't give a shit about what the Internet says or whatever, like it is a little bit of an attack on your character when people are calling you weak or whatever.

1:02:33And you're like, there's so much that you don't owe people to tell them the amount of work you were doing behind the scenes. but what I what I would assume is like this is one of the most amazing parts of your life now that you've worked through it and this is someone you genuinely love and so to not be able to like feel fully like you can celebrate it because there has been this stigma like I hope this now allows you to just like release that and know that like there shouldn't be judgment around this and you shouldn't have had to explain this but now that you do I can imagine there are so many women listening being like, OK, like how many of us have stayed and it did work out.

1:03:13And that's beautiful. And if you didn't, that's beautiful for you. But we can't judge anyone's situation, right? Yeah, without really knowing. It's interesting you say I appreciate all of that. I will say going back to like the peace that I feel, I don't think it's that I was waiting at all for anybody. I think it was more just feeling like I wanted to catch people up to speed on my time instead of on other people's time. like going back to the pressure cooker like I also wasn't hiding like we go to the grocery store together we you know like we have good times together we are closest friends and family you know know what it is and that's really all that matters to me but I think um but it's that peace you know the difference between secrecy and privacy was unclear to me at a young age growing up in the industry with everything and anything and I think anybody who grew up on the internet Like I got discovered at 14 years old making covers on YouTube.

1:04:05So I thought like what I eat for breakfast, everybody should know when I take a shit on the toilet. Hey, y 'all. Guess what I'm doing? Sitting on the toilet. You know, like all that era of like real time posting. Like, I don't know. It's my relationship with it is so different and has definitely in a more evolved way matured. that feels right size to the version of me that I am today, which is I don't have it all figured out. I am absolutely not perfect. But do I feel empowered? Yes, because empowerment as a woman isn't being perfect. It's living in your truth and standing in your truth and owning that there is a spectrum, an array of experiences and emotions and opportunities that are gonna be taking place in this lifetime And if I'm not fully present for it, that's where I'm really cutting myself short.

1:05:02And so to be fully present in this moment with you, talking about what it's taken to get here, you know, from the beginning up until this point is, yeah, it feels really good and feels really liberating. It's kind of what's been inspiring everything I've been working on. It's amazing because you can see how also passionate you are about this current era, I guess, essentially you're in. Yeah. Can you see yourself getting married? Can I see? Absolutely, girl. Okay. Yeah. Good to know. I would love to. I'm like, re-propos to me. Why not? Propos to me every year. Why not? I love it. I've seen there was actually this really cute TikTok trend about this woman who is sharing that and I thought it was adorable.

1:05:43But yeah, I guess to each their own, you know. I think something that's so incredible about you is like you're so positive. and I think that when people are faced with really difficult situations in their life, not this specifically, but just like everything we're talking about, there's kind of a choice you have to make. It's either going to define you or you're going to take it and you're going to grow from it. How have you managed to reframe challenges in your life and be so positive? Can I just say this? I can say the same about you. no I actually think um like PTG post-traumatic growth is a choice and um I do think that there is a shift in mentality that happened for me where it was like I don't want to be a victim of anything I want to be a survivor of things and also we deserve so much more than just to survive life but to actually thrive in it and that is also available to us too and so I can change my mind today and that's okay and I can you know embrace different versions of myself that thought they knew what was best and not shame them or judge them um and same for future versions of myself like I can build her up and I can be her greatest champion because I know she's waiting for me like a relay like this is this shit's a marathon girl and we are all running it with ourselves and we just got to keep going but constantly of course with connecting with ourselves understanding like what is it actually going to take of me what is it going to cost me because when i say yes to something i'm also saying no to something else and if i'm saying no to something that actually means more to me like i should take time to understand that you know um and so with everything that's been taking place with my growth now being kind of the the source of inspiration um the phoenix that i feel that i am rising from the ashes of of so much that i had to overcome in my younger years i just feel like i know it sounds funny and we talk about being a bad bitch but like man like it feels really good to know like i've always she's always been there this isn't like a new era this isn't like this is just an expansion of who i am You know, like I'm just evolving.

1:08:08And I think it's so inspiring for people listening because like I can assure everyone that you and I have both sat in moments in our life where it has felt like the lowest and it has felt so horrible. And the positive you can tell yourself when you are going through the toughest times is knowing all of this is going to make you stronger. And then you will sit here one day like Becky G being like, girl, I feel like a bad bitch. I feel confident. And it's like because the amount of things that try to chip away at your confidence and your self-esteem, if you do not become a victim of those circumstances and you actually use it as power and strength, you end up just being like, oh, I am unstoppable.

1:08:49As corny as it sounds, I think for women it's important to hear because it is such a fucking hard ride that all of us in our own journeys have to ride. But when you start to kind of reshift that mentality, it doesn't happen overnight. But at some point you're like, am I going to just keep getting fucking knocked down and be like, this is so depressing. This person did this to me. I hate that. Or you can actually change your entire life if you just reframe the way you look at things. And it is a lot easier said than done. my advice would be to feel it like shit is still shit you could put perfume on it you could put a bow on it you could put sprinkles on it bedazzle it it's still shit let the shit be shit it's a shitty situation like give yourself permission to feel it because once you can allow yourself emotions are energy emotion so let it go through you let the shit be the shit be shit and remember you're always deep down inside you are that bitch like you really are and she's just gotta like we forget like i think we live in such a hustle culture where it's like we're like proud to be like i'm burnt out like oh my god i haven't slept like don't be proud of that mama like rest recover like prioritize like your your well-being like these are things that like of course i had to learn but like I I definitely hold so much grace for the past versions of myself that had led me to this version because I'm just like damn like we really are out here functioning thinking that like it's just gonna move on and it's like this too shall pass is something that I've lived by um for sure but I think that you know life will keep meeting you with the same lessons until you actually listen and learn it and you you can think oh you know different job or different person or a different environment like i move my life across the world you will continue to attract the same things if you don't level up your frequency and nurture yourself and put yourself first girl yeah we all needed that yeah

1:11:11Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Depop. Okay. I have an entire concept in my head of like the things I need to get rid of in my closet so I can get new things and all that. And sometimes I never get to it. But the minute I opened a Depop account, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It has helped me not only stay organized, but also know what I want to sell and also what do I want to buy. I'm on Depop buying things. When I have Unwell events, boom, I'm purchasing. It's amazing. What feels familiar in your closet may be exactly what someone else is searching for. So keep that in mind. You can buy, sell and discover affordable secondhand fashion you'll love with the resale marketplace Depop.

1:11:51Reselling can feel overwhelming, but on Depop getting started is so easy. You guys just snap a picture of your item and Depop takes care of the rest, including suggesting a price to help sell it. One of the best parts also is the buyer pays for shipping and there are no seller fees, which means you basically keep more of your money, which is amazing. No printer required. You can even choose a convenient drop off no matter your style. Depop is where people with all kinds of tastes come to sell and shop. Download the Depop app now and start listing today. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Haagen-Dazs.

1:12:24Okay. It is so important to take some me time. You know what I mean, guys? So take your sweet time and enjoy rich, smooth, creamy ice cream from Haagen-Dazs. Because honestly, when was the last time you actually slow down and let yourself have a moment for you? You have to try their new cherry dark chocolate bar. Guys, picture rich cherry ice cream with tart cherry ribbons coated in thick dark chocolate. Are you kidding me? I'm drooling. Are you drooling yet? No, seriously. This is the kind of thing you don't just eat, you experience it. Okay. Haagen-Dazs elevated crafted ice cream is always meant to be savored.

1:13:01So whatever flavor you choose, slow down and enjoy each bite. Seriously, it's too good to rush. I grew up with Haagen-Dazs in my house every single night. My family and I would eat our favorite flavors. I'm obsessed with the Cherry Dark Chocolate Bar. Those flavors together, I couldn't be happier. I'm going to watch my favorite TV shows and I'm going to be eating that. Boom, done. Take your sweet time. That's Da's available at retailers nationwide. I want to also talk about how that kind of becomes then applicable to the industry you're in with regard to women. It's no secret that the world is set up to make us feel like there's only space for one woman in the room.

1:13:42And I think in your specific situation, the media constantly tries to pit you and other artists against each other. How have you navigated this throughout your career? I think we are realizing that I always say juntas somos mas together. We are so much more. And I've been blessed that in my career, I've been able to lead with that mentality. And there were situations growing up in this industry, whether it was on in the English market or in the Spanish market, which now I'm just like, I'm Spanglish speaking. I have no English, no Spanish. I just am who I am. But specifically in the earlier years where it was very separate, that programming was still the same, like deeply rooted in the media and in the industry systems.

1:14:27And it was interesting going into like Spanish music because it was the most empowered I ever felt as a young woman in my artistry. But it was the most macho world that I could be involved in. And there was very few of us at the time. And it was like an iconic like few of us, you know, that were doing it like in the mainstream way. And I look back at it and it's like, the fact that radio or playlisting had the audacity to be like, we can only have one female in rotation. And I'm like, so you're gonna say that to me, Carol G, Nati Natasha, Anita, like who are all global superstars in their own right today, but was Carol G from Colombia, Anita from Brazil, you know, Becky G coming from LA, nati natasha coming from you know the dominican republic like that's what we're that's what we were dealing with we were dealing with being on you know radio show um radio shows like festivals and stuff and you know you're toe-to-toe like it was so cool to be a part i i to me my experience and it was really great because there was a lot of synergy with where we wanted to come together but um you know we're toe-to-toe with our boys like on the charts and we're like haha you know we're all gang gang and hanging out and they're just as supportive of us but we're looking at their shows like well they've got 20 dancers and crazy scaffolding and amazing lighting programming and i'm here with four dancers and my dj who's my cousin who's been with me since day one and we are very limited because what we're getting compared to what our male counterparts are getting looks very different and instead of being like why don't we get what they get it was like all right we're gonna work together so um we're gonna get the same makeup artist i'm gonna get the early shift you'll get the later shift or swap swapskies on the next show and i'll get her flights and you book her hotel and then you know angie right angie angie was our girl angie she's that girl love her angie shout out she does the best shout out angie mark um so angie would come with us and she'd be glamming all the girls and we'd all be like pitching in and it'd be like we all look amazing we all have the beat that we wanted we all have like the the styling and everything because we were working together behind the scenes and I don't think people really know that that that type of like teamwork was already being practiced backstage and it was this like iron sharpens iron like it's not personal it's not me versus you it's us versus the system and damn it was so powerful like we made history together all the female collaborations that I've ever put together have done incredible things like history making numbers and that brings me so much pride because it's so much more than a hit song like hit songs happen every single fucking day I saw something bigger the amount of times somebody would tell me if you think it's such a hit why would you share it with somebody else like why why do you want to do this with them and because it's them and I'm me and us together is we which is massive like I needed to see that as a little girl so I don't know I guess for me it's not really like how do we prove to other people that we're deserving and worthy no we know we're deserving we know we're worthy y 'all better catch up or get out the way and how incredible because no I don't think a lot of us knew that story I think it's pretty again rare because the system is set up for women to feel so competitive with each other the fact that you four women look to each other and you were like let's all go in on this together to basically support help further all of our careers that is such a testament to an exact example of how we actually can all further push a bunch of us up the hill instead of one person and that's just how i move like and and i and i hope it does inspire more people you know i do think that it's unfortunate that we are still having the one seat at the table conversation but like look around other tables are being built and you can build your own and it doesn't have to be what it was it can be something new going back to like that radical change in your mind like you can't change your mind you know you can you have the power to do so amazing can we talk about your new music yes you have a new single marathon and you look so good in this music video i was mesmerized i'm like we really wait what did you think i need to know it's so like i was literally this is me i'm sitting at my kitchen table when i was watching i was literally like this the outfits the glam the styling the dancers the whole thing i'm like you're you're amazing you're incredible thank you and you're so talented but like what can you tell us about it like how did this come together how did this song come together what does it mean to you it was just like this divine alignment i don't know how else to explain it other than that like it was just this like taking my power back and when i did marathon i was like this just really encompasses exactly where I am exactly where I am and exactly where my audience is because the alignment of what's happening with shower and marathon like a decade and plus and I have you know the comment section saying this is my middle school song and my favorite my freshman year this is my favorite I was like technically mine too we all grew up together we all have been out here pushing forward like doing what we do doing the best that we can and the fact that there's this Synergy of just like and we're gonna keep going.

1:20:15It's just I don't know it it feels so special Well, and it is such it's such a good song where you're like I like want to like get ready to this when i'm going out with my girlfriends I want to listen to this like when i'm alone in the car and I need a little like confidence like It has all of those things That you want in a song, but it's also so Clearly your style like it's it's just so right and I'm so happy for you like it's such an it's really incredible like I'm obsessed so much that makes me so happy what went into the writing process yeah so I would say the whole process from like beginning to end including like music video and uh even like playing it for fans uh before its actual release was like so interesting um and how like there was just a lot of things that were just like oh this is meant to be oh this is meant to be can you feel it when you have a song I really do think I know this there has been moments where I'm like, you know, I don't think you really know.

1:21:12Like, you don't really know what's going to happen. There have been moments where I'm like, oh, this feels so good. This feels so right. I don't even really care what happens after this. Yeah, it's just so right. Like, this is just oh, it feels great. And to get to that in my artistry at this phase of my career, having been through so much. It's like so beautiful and such a blessing to be able to feel that and know that that's possible. but from beginning to finish it was like it was just a good time like everything that I've made in this season is like even if we're crying we're crying in the club girl like we are you know like it's a vibe it's meant to bring joy and that was important to me because everything that is happening right now like around us is not like it's not giving joy like it's not it's not been giving joy it's been giving pressure it's been giving hate it's been giving so much negativity and to be in a position of privilege as an artist earned privilege to get into a space where i feel safe enough to lean into my individuality my empowerment my like just this liberation i was like i need to put this into a song so that i can micro dose it to my fans so that if they are going through something like they listen to this song they know they can shake their ass and they deserve to shake their ass like they deserve this moment right now for themselves it's so good and marathon is like that's like i you gotta have the hype girl you gotta be your own biggest hype girl before we go in your documentary you said becky g came to save rebecca what relationship do you feel like becky g and rebecca have today oh man i did say that huh i would say that look i've been blessed to collaborate with so many amazing artists in in my career but I feel like this is my greatest collaboration yet me with myself yeah it's been beautiful to know that like Becky G the boss the person who says it how it is who goes on stage and doesn't second guess herself she's very much real and Rebecca who is this more vulnerable more passionate um more intimate more sensual side of myself is also a star in what I've been doing lately.

1:23:34So it's just like, yeah, I'd say they're like the best collaborators now. Yeah. I think it is such a beautiful message to anyone watching of like your circumstances growing up don't need to define you, but you can use them as your greatest strengths. And now the fact that you make music for people and like even you saying like, I do this for my fans. I want them. If you're having a bad day, you can listen to my music. Like you're still doing what you did at a young age, but now in the capacity, like you said, where it is like genuinely something you want to do. You don't have to do it. And that's incredible.

1:24:05Thank you so much. I'm a fan. I'm truly like so inspired by you. And like, I can't thank you enough for your time and for sharing so much about your life today. No, I can say the same. The feeling is absolutely mutual. It's funny. One thing I did think about before coming into this is what I admire most about you is that you really are a facilitator for a safe space. And so when it comes to like, you know, we want to keep things light as a feather today. Like, let's just talk about the fit, girl. Like, let's just talk about your outfit. That's totally fine. And if we want to go as deep as the ocean, like I'm right here with you.

1:24:41Let's talk therapy. Let's go there. And I think that that is something that obviously for someone in my position is just such a blessing. Because ultimately, anybody who's listening to this, like we're all just human beings. We're all looking for quality connection in life. and there is no difference between me, you and whoever the hell is listening to this in their car, at home, with their homegirls or all alone. Like we're just, we deserve, yeah, we deserve that. No, this is the girl talk we needed. Becky G, thank you so much for coming and calling her daddy. Thank you so much.

1:25:30call her daddy is brought to you by ross spring is officially here the time is perfect to refresh your home and your wardrobe shop ross where spring trends are everywhere find that flowy floral dress or the perfect sandal to kick off the season spring is also about creating new vibes at home and getting outside with outdoor entertaining essentials with brands you love at 20 to 60 percent off other retailers prices new looks and vibes don't mean a huge price tag at ross you work your magic find your nearest ross at rossstores.com call her daddy is brought to you by stouffer's let me tell you something when i am hungry and i am trying to figure out what to eat sometimes you can just actually become so you're angry you're like i am busy i'm hungry i'm getting hangry I'm getting angry.

1:26:21What can I eat? I need something hot and delicious and low maintenance. Well, introducing Stouffer's dinners are not only delicious, they're done in a flash. Serve up their classic lasagna, chicken pesto, or carbonara for two. Whatever you're craving, Stouffer's is your hot, delicious, easy meal fantasy. When the clock strikes dinner, think Stouffer's. You can see all the delicious options at stouffers.com. All new drinks are now at McDonald's. Like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Spriteberry Blast topped with cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire? Try them all now at McDonald's.

1:26:57Refreshers contain caffeine.