Chappell Roan: Are People Scared Of Me?

0:02What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with Call her daddy. chapel roan welcome to color daddy thank you i am so happy to be meeting you i'm such a fan so this is like a very cool moment how are you doing tonight i'm good i have to tell you everyone always wants to do like early interviews i'm not a morning person so this is like one of the later interviews i've done are you a night person i like both i have insomnia oh so really it's like i'm an all day all night person till I take my pills okay great so you're just up I'm up you're with me right now I am good to know okay good to know talk to me about what you are wearing this is everything how did you pick this um well I'm styled by Dennis's web but um I'm wearing Tom Brown and some of this is archival um which is amazing but it's like a little white and red striped outfit vibe.

1:04All of it's Tom Brown. It's just the best. He's the best. It literally looks like you are the host of the show. You look like you are running this room right now and I'm the outsider. You look perfect. Oh, my God. Thank you. OK, you're obviously known for your incredible, amazing outfits. What has been your favorite outfit to date that you've worn during a performance? I wore one for Bonnaroo that was club kid themed and it was latex medical latex sexy kinky girl and it is kind of like disturbing in a way but I felt so awesome I love that I was gonna say now I need to go google that yeah it's I look scary but like I love looking like kind of crazy and scary um but I love that I mean the Lollapalooza one was so fucking awesome because i got to wear tennis shoes gov ball when you literally like were all green okay i don't think people know this i had to spread my cheeks you're lying to me no i just spread my cheeks and get sprayed with green and like it didn't come off the way i got that off was i took three baths not soap dish soap i literally poured a dish soap in and scrubbed rubbed my whole body with coconut oil jumped in scrubbed with a literal like kitchen sponge and every all of it came off except there was a green tint to my skin so I literally looked moldy for four days how like humbling when all of your fans are like queen slay you look gorgeous and then you're home literally scrubbing your asshole no yeah this is my life I was like scrubbing my like bikini lines and like my pubes are pulling out from it all.

2:55I don't have, I'm not even like lasered or anything. It's so glamorous. I just can't. Yeah. I fucking love it. Okay, how do you usually though dress on a chill day? Like are you always going hard glam? Are you always having an outfit? Sometimes I love having an outfit, but usually not with glam like this. Like I'm not wearing a lash or anything like that or nails really, but yeah. I'm not in a lot of color. That's the thing. Like I'm in a lot of blacks and a lot of like taupes and whites and creams. Like nothing. Yeah. Are you ever doing sweatpants? Yeah. Sometimes. Okay. But I'm in like, I wear a lot of skirts.

3:37I'm very modest when it comes to my day to day. and I think it's just because one I feel like I'm in LA and I can dress like more masculine and not get like dirty looks and so but I feel like in other parts of the country it's like I just I just dress more feminine so I don't like I don't want to deal with it you know isn't it so annoying when you're like I don't even want to deal with these comments or these looks so I'm going to just like blend in for you all i don't want to but i don't have the time of day yeah fuck off i used to dress fucking crazy though before like all of this happened and i had energy and like light in my eyes i would literally just wear my thong out mini skirt bottom ass cheeks out nipples see-through in this fucking trash i i dress like really really bimbo-y and like i had i wore like silicone like breast like boob inserts to make my boobs come up to my fucking like up to my clavicle or whatever um and so i just like lost my shine why um because uh it became my job and then i was like i'm fucking tired and glam takes i mean at that time i wasn't like i was just in my room high as fuck doing my makeup on tiktok live for three hours every night and then i would go out in like this like insane drag makeup and like all these thrifted like 70s disco always in fucking heels just a maximalist and that was so amazing and then it just got to be like there was no separation yeah like i would be out as kaylee in that and then i would be on stage as that and then there was like no separation it just got i would look at myself in the mirror and be like what's the difference between chapel and like i understand that now because i've interviewed like enough people to have that conversation in a healthy way i think is you have to find a way to actually know who you are when the lights and the cameras and everything go off like who you are and if you look the same exact and you act the same exact as you do on stage then there is no separation and there's nothing that you can keep private for yourself and protect so that makes sense as you've tried to kind of like give yourself basically your private life yeah yeah um okay you refer to yourself as a midwest princess what is the most midwestern thing about you um i say oh so much oh oh i'm sorry oh oh p um say that a lot is that a midwestern thing i think so oh i'm sorry i'm sorry you know that um I still am like, I look at the gas prices here and I'm like, golly, over$4.

6:46That's crazy. And I'm like, what the fuck, bitch? You've been here for almost 10 years. Like, what are you talking about? It's never been under$4. I am one of the bitches that are like, well, we got here at the right time. We got at this restaurant right at the right time. Look at the line. I don't even care. Like, as if I've ever given a fuck, but I still say it. I'm like, stop. I get called out for saying roof instead of roof. But I was like, cement is how most people say it, but I was raised cement. Like semen, but cement. Yeah, cement. And I say insurance, like different. So there's like those things, but also it's like, I don't know.

7:32I wish it was more acceptable to like be barefoot. it i wish that like like i don't know i guess that's like more country but i'll eat food off the ground and like i character i like my car is so fucked up what kind of car do you drive well i a beater i brought it's not a beater that's actually really dramatic it's my mom's old car um but it's just like i'm not gonna fix it like i'm just not gonna fix it wait you drive your mom's old car i've never bought my own car why not i'm like kind of embarrassed of cars like in general like if someone has a really nice car i'm like it's too much too much too much i don't and also i know i'm gonna fuck it up but when you were in your maximalist era would you have gotten yourself a nice car or still that was like the one thing you wouldn't do that's i couldn't afford it yeah yeah it's like i couldn't i've never been a bitch to like with a car you know i just don't think it means anything but to me i guess it does because i'm always like i get what you mean it's like i just don't if i see a cyber truck i'm like no that shit is so fucking ugly i can't when i drive up next to it i'm like what in the brick ass shit is that yeah detent it detent i want to see who's in there who's driving that it's so fast you know who the only person i know who had it who who who signed up for it.

9:03I'm not even kidding, because you could sign up for it in like 2019, 2020. My ex-boyfriend is the only person I've ever known. And you know what? He has hentai tattoos, white, white, white boy. Hentai tattoos of just girls tied up. He has, I actually probably shouldn't say everything. Actually, he probably, but that's like the vibe. I'm like, okay. His vibe. You're painting the picture for me. I'm just like, I don't know anyone who I'd hang out with that has a Cybertruck. I don't either. So we're in good company tonight. Can you imagine? What car do you drive? Do you drive a Tesla? Okay, I don't drive a Tesla.

9:45You're going to hate me. Can I guess? Take a guess. What if I said a Cybertruck? I would be like, what are you doing? You walk out of this interview. I would be like, what are you doing? No, I do not drive a Cybertruck. i'm gonna guess a g-wagon no i drive a porsche okay that's classy but the only reason i drive a porsche is because i never could afford a car my whole life and i had to drive my grandmother's car to school and i was that bitch that couldn't just own it and i would like park four blocks away and i was so mortified because i went to this like preppy ass school that i couldn't afford and all the kids were driving fucking nice ass cars but obviously their parents were paying for it So like kind of embarrassing.

10:28And I would park away and the door wouldn't open. So I had to get on the other side and climb through the window. It was a whole thing. That's awesome. It built character, you know. And then when I got to high school, I remember this one girl that I was like thought she was so cool. And she drove a Porsche and it was like the Cayenne or whatever. Yeah. I've only had one car in my life and it's that. Porsche Cayenne. Yeah. When I was a nanny, the family had the nanny car was a Porsche Cayenne. So I've actually driven that before. it's a nice car but for it to be the nanny car that's that's the vibe that's the vibes of that so

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12:38And this has exactly that. So daddy gang, if you want to try it out, shop now at Sephora. Okay. Are you still close with your friends from back home? Yeah, I am. They're really awesome. We have such different lives. They are a lot of them are married with children and like they have their own houses. And like to me, I'm I'm like. I don't know what that's going to happen for me. Like, I don't know when that is realistic, if ever. so you want that like get married and yeah um i don't know i like part of me is like is it even going to be legal to marry like my wife one day you know i don't know so but kids i all of my friends who have kids are in hell i don't know anyone i actually don't know anyone who's like happy and has children at this age i have like like a one year old like three year old four and under five and under i don't i literally have not met anyone who's happy anyone who has like light in their eyes anyone who has he was slept these results are looking too good i'm like why did my parents do that my i'm the oldest of four my mom had me at 23 wait when you're saying that about your friends though like do they think this is all wild that like how famous you are and like all of it when they see articles about you are they like calling you up and be like kaylee what the fuck are they just like this is your life bitch like texas when you want to come over i think yeah like they they're just like they're mothers like they're fucking busy and they have jobs and lives like i am i am just their friend you know what i mean like i they are so sweet and so supportive and come out to shows and like they have to get fucking babysitters to come to my shows like i don't ever expect like when i go home i love reminiscing about like destroying public property with them and like doing some illegal shit and like literally hating the same bitches for 15 years like we just can't get over stuff we can't get i will never get over it's nice though it's like therapeutic when you have those girls from like when you're younger because it's Like that is the shit that it genuinely is therapeutic to just be like, and that little fucking cunt from and you're like, I don't even know where she is these days.

14:58They're probably a better person now. That's the thing. I still hate those bitches from high school. There was one girl who said, I like, whatever, beat her in the fucking talent show, like whatever. Who cares? like I won and she was like you did so good like I can't wait till your voice fully matures like I can't wait to actually hear it whenever you get like some lessons and some maturity in your voice and I was like we're the same age and to like I will show you and I think I did but also I'm trying to think there's so many things oh here's one like hot to go was there was a line in hot to go i will never forget this i was standing in line at lunch and there were two girls in front of me like a few people up in front of me and they couldn't they didn't know i was standing back there but they were like talking about me and they were like oh do you know who's dating we'll say uh what's the what's the wind western mr john okay carolyn johnny carolyn let's say that's the boy's name okay johnny carolyn do you know who's dating johnny carolyn they're like oh no no who oh it's kaylee amstutz well who is she oh you know she's like she's not hot but she's pretty she's like she's like pretty but she's not like hot and so when i wrote hot to go that's why i'm like call me hot not pretty because like that was so ingrained in my heart of like i want to be the hot girl i want to be the hot girl i don't want to be called pretty you know but i wasn't i wasn't hot in high school like dude i whoever the fuck was peaked okay that's kind of true right whoever was so banging hot they're not they're not doing too well that's so true and all the hot guys at my school i do you know i don't know i don't really know any hot guys at my school i don't think i grew up with hot guys there was no one that i was really attracted to but that's the shit though chapel that's like how crazy the shit that sticks with you like girls can be so fucking cutting when you're that young boys too but girls it's like you almost like care more in moments where you're like i'm pretty and anyone if like you don't get it it's like that is like the big they're trying to insult you this isn't like a nice but you're like and then you wrote that obviously banger ass song and now you're making fucking money off of it so it's true it is like the bad things that happen to me i can monetize that is what's awesome about being a songwriter like i went my breakup when i wrote like my kinkus karma vibes was the worst thing that's ever happened like genuinely i don't think it could have been worse but i got to like fuel an entire video and a song and a look a character just based off of horrible week of my life and when you do that though when you publish it do you feel like finally like you've expunged your soul of all that negativity or does it still slightly hang on when you have to perform those songs when i when when i do the festivals and i look in the camera and i say i dedicate this whatever i am actually thinking about them or whoever i'm dedicating but i do think about it and i'm like at lalapalooza i was like fuck you so hard for talking about you dating me like how could you talk about why are you bragging that you dated me you broke up with me that's the craziest part but it's so telling it's so embarrassing it's like you want clout how lame is your life You want clout.

19:24You have to sleep so well at night knowing that though of like, ooh, and I still get to monetize off this. Loser. Loser. Bye. How do you decide when you have people call you Chapel versus Kaylee? When I'm at work, Chapel. But like none of my friends like call me Chapel. Okay. Who was your pop icon growing up? Hannah Montana. Bitch. And Britney. me you can't say hannah montana to me and me not hannah montana need a minute i remember when the first episode came out the wig in the first episode then when they changed it so good it's still look like i look back on that and i'm like they really didn't know if that shit was gonna pop off and then it was like the biggest fucking thing ever but that first wig is so telling they're like let's just fucking see if this shit works and then boom did you go to the concert i went to the um one where it was miley and hannah so she starts as hannah and then she transitions to miley is that the jonas brothers opened i remember city i remember that was the point when the jonas brothers weren't that big of a deal and i was so annoyed that they were on stage and my dad was like one day you're gonna have a crush on one of these boys and i was like i reject that i'm disturbed by these men and then i obviously like fell in love with them like a couple years later Nick or Joe or sorry Kevin oh I'm sorry no no no Nick Joe or Kevin yeah I would say at first Nick I did the whole thing cried diabetes obviously okay

20:58did you cry too no I always hated the Jonas Brothers but here's the thing Joe's so fucking nice to me now I've grown up to love them like yeah I when I was young I was like you I was like I don't care about the boys I just want Hannah Hannah and when they came out I was like oh fucking god like shut I was in I was nine and I literally said when they came out I was like oh my fucking god I don't care I believed in god at that time and I was saying that shit in my head I couldn't get on board and then yes Hannah at that point like do you remember like east northumberland high good and broken you and me together bitch I made music videos to that shit I was religious and all this to say like i love the joe's like when i was nine i was i think it was just the lesbian in me that just had no interest in seeing them as an idol as a child but now i'm like work yes okay i'm gonna ask you give me the first song that comes to mind when i tell you this Ready?

22:04Favorite song to belt out in the shower.

22:15This is the part when I break free. Is that a one day? Go to song when you need a good cry. All along, it was a fever. It's cold, sweat, hot head of believer. but Stay by Rihanna, which I auditioned to with the, yeah, I auditioned with it for The Voice. I didn't make it on the show, obviously. Thank God. Thank God I didn't make it. Maybe it is so much better because imagine if you were like, not that it's bad to come from The Voice, but the story is better without The Voice, right? Your come up is just a little bit better. Yeah. okay that's this the song that belongs on every workout playlist

23:06uh my favorite song of all time when you see me in the club you better think about or you better oh you think about us yeah yeah you better make that shit work it's the it's a will i'm gonna scream and shout with britney spears um your crowd pleaser karaoke song i fucking hate karaoke moving on i because i don't want to try yeah i don't i don't like feeling like i have to try to sing well if i'm not doing it for work because then it feels like a like look at me i love karaoke is for people who never get to sing yes to sing and then we sing your songs and i'm like like i hate singing it but i did i don't know one time i pretended I put in like I was at a seafood boil in the middle of Apalachicola, Florida.

24:03We were an off day on on tour and we went to this seafood place and there was just a dad playing guitar. And it was like, does anybody out there want to sing? Does anybody want to sing a duet with me? and my whole touring crew was like go go go and i was like oh please stop please stop and then i was like fine i will and he was like come on up what's your name and i think i was like madeline and he's like madeline what do you want to sing here my list and i look down and i see shallow and i was like shallow and he was like really you want to do shallow and i was like and like literally i did it and i went i'm on the deep end like up there oh it was all old people and families it was literally like old people and then like moms with four kids who were like tired and like people like turned around because i was ripping it and afterwards like i just sat down literally old people just started standing up and they were like you have to try out for american idol you have to try out and i was like oh my god stop i'm not that good and then i went to orlando and opened for olivia rodrigo the next day dude that fucking man just being like really want to do this are you sure honey you're like no but let's fucking i was like i don't know i'm up here right hurry up before i fucking leave dick that's hilarious though like do you ever get moments like that of anonymity where you get to like feel like people actually don't know who you are anymore do you ever like dress up disguise i think people are scared of me really i think i made a big enough deal about not talking to me that people do not talk to me that's i think the truth of it all and i've been i've been with people like friends who were like artists and they're like when they're with me they're like it's a force field around us people don't come up to me if i'm with you and i think i'm just like damn say baby you say it too you say don't touch me don't touch me don't look at me don't don't talk to me i don't know who you are and they won't come out to bother you what a concept that is fucking hilarious though that other celebrities are like bitch look at what it's a force field i'm not not just by one person by like three three or four do you love it that you said it it hurts that i have to yeah it hurts i i know it really hurts people because they take it really um they feel like it's me disrespecting them that i owe it to them and that how dare i call it abuse and it's like or complaining about success i get that a lot but i'm not complaining about success i'm just complaining about creepy behavior i love i love like admiration everyone loves admiration like i just don't want you to like interrupt me at like when i'm having a fight with a girl my girlfriend like don't fucking be like can i get a photo when i'm crying crying talking to my girlfriend that's fucking crazy you're like i'm actually in the middle of um breaking up with someone or getting cheated on right now spare me yeah take a picture all the way across there of the back of my head and post it you know and it's like i can't i of course of course it's gonna take a second to for people to like really look at themselves and like i have to have grace for that like I didn't how would I know any better if I already see Hannah Montana I would have to tell her that I I love her music so much and that like she means a lot to me but in reality it's like no I don't right because that's not Hannah right there that's not Hannah that's destiny hope Cyrus anyway sorry I fucking love you okay you wrote your song at Pink Pony Club about the Abbey here in Los Angeles.

28:23True or not true? Yes, true. Why are you looking away from me? Have you had your phone stolen there? Have I had my phone? Stolen at the Abbey? I've never gone to the Abbey because apparently, well. Because you get your phone stolen. Wait, what? It's crazy. I have had three friends whose phone got stolen. Wait, okay. So tell me about like the night or the story. Is that the story? Like what is it? But tell me about, I've never gone to the Abbey because everyone's like it's not even good anymore it used to be good now it's not good anymore okay well obviously when i went the night was fucking awesome because i was like it's like it was amazing and i just couldn't stop dancing and i was obsessed with the go-go dancers and the music was so loud and everyone was so hot and making out and i had never seen anything like it and I wanted to be a like a go-go dancer exotic dancer after that and so I was like looking into it and I just was like I felt like really embarrassed if someone from like a record label were to see me dancing I would just feel really embarrassed because I don't know like I just felt really subconscious and so instead i wrote a song about me being the dancer so that's what pink pony is about it's like me being the dancer at the abbey and like i'm scared to go to the abbey now because my phone is gonna get fucking stolen and your phone cannot get stolen i mean would you care no no yes you would no i don't care really there's nothing on your fucking phone they can't get into it it's like you're the one that has like the 17 number not the four okay how do you feel about a dance floor make out i look the other way okay before you were famous would you be down or no i get really uncomfortable but i am the bitch that makes all the dance floors i just like i'm like a hypocrite when it comes to pda i'm like what the fuck and then i will like be drunk making out i've done it with so many different people it's fun though it's so fun if i'm fucked up like i don't care but if i don't really drink anymore so when i see people making out like i just laugh i can't stop laughing the only way i feel like for a dance for make out is to be drunk or on drugs in weho it's like it it's like at brunch you know it's not even like there's not even a dance floor you've gone so many different places what has been your most like chaotic night out on tour or even just like on the road um probably the night tell me please one night one night i thought my bus driver of the tour bus driver um was gonna leave without us it was gonna just drive away and i called like my tour manager and i was like hey something's going on like the bus driver's like being kind of weird and like i think he's really mad he's like just stomping around and like i thought he was leaving i like it looked like he was driving away but then he backed up i think he's really pissed off at us and i think we should get on the bus she thought i was kidding and so she was like oh yeah he's going crazy i heard he i heard he hit someone and then And that, you know, we don't worry about it.

32:16Like the cops are on the way. And I was like, holy fuck. And then I got up, I got on the bus. Bus driver was nowhere to be found. And I was like, everybody on the bus, get your passports and let's get off. Come on. It's literally like the sound team. Like I'm about to start crying. Everyone's drunk. Like it's so bad. It's like after a show. It's the night before we go to Coachella. and I'm like the cops are coming everyone get it get out get out the cops are coming get your passports get something that's important to you and get off the bus I didn't know my tour manager was kidding and so then I like I was so fucked up and I was just crying I was like something's really wrong like the bus drivers be really weird and we're not gonna be able to make it to Coachella and my tour manager was like i was kidding and i was like then what's going on like then what's even going like but the bus driver is being weird what do we do and she's like i literally don't like no one knew what to do and i was like i'm just confused we have to make dick coachella we have to and we did this poor man like walks out of peeing and he's like why is everyone acting weird that is what fucking happened he's like holding your cats in your passports and you're like he's gonna attack us that's literally what happened he's like i'm not gonna attack you nothing's wrong guys and i was just so drunk i was like he's on a rampage everyone get off the bus like sorry sir we love you drive oh dude dude alcohol can do some weird fucking shit i don't drink anymore i shouldn't i the only time i drink actually the only time i drink is my birthday and I had my birthday.

34:04Wait, how did you celebrate? I went to Jumbo's Clown Room. How was that? No. Oh, you tell me everything. It's a strip club, but it's not like a, it's very gay. It's like a lot of lesbian vibes. Are you a lap dance girl? Like what are you, what's your vibe? They gave me a lap dance and it was fun. Usually those things are really make me uncomfortable, but I was drunk so I didn't care. And yeah, I rented the whole place out. it was a dream birthday it was a dream come true and those girls fucking know how to work a pole they the pole does not spin like it's not they do it like it's real i remember like the last time i was at a strip club i remember just like staring at them in awe and i was like i hope they don't think this is creepy but like i'm genuinely just so fascinated by how you're doing that because like my neck hurts and my back hurts watching you do that you're fucking incredible they're iconic athletes cheers to the girls how has your relationship to your sexuality evolved over the years obviously i've come into being more comfortable with saying i'm queer with dating women um but i don't know something like fucked up my sexuality this i think like my nervous system is so fried that i can't even feel like flirtatious like it's just too intense to even like be sexual at all i'm just it's just too like too sensitive you know do you want to be or you're not feeling like you're missing anything no i do i want to be because i think that like that was a part of myself that was fun and like i feel like that part of me exists on stage but off stage it's like it's this kind of um i kind of reverted back to

36:05a very shameful part of myself and how i relate to sex just because it's like when there's so much of you in the world that is exposed then like being sexual with someone is so vulnerable because the rest of your life is so vulnerable that it's like it almost is too i want to save something like i just don't want to be that vulnerable with so many fucking people do you ever though like resent the chapel rome moments because then you're like you're saying you're feeling it on stage you're like enjoying yourself you're feeling sexual then you're going home as Kaylee and being like I just don't want to enjoy that like are you ever like fuck am I sacrificing my real moments of being able to find myself and embrace my sexuality for people and my art I resent myself for I resent the job because i can no longer yes sexuality has like is it's just different now and like but i resent not being able to like be a friendly neighbor because i can't like go out and meet my neighbors and be like hi i'm kaylee i live here this is what my car looks like this is what time i'm home and when i'm not you know so then people all of a sudden know exactly it's just a recipe for a stalker situation so i resent that part of my um career path there's just so much you don't know that you're signing up for you don't know that you're signing up that your your whole your body changes it is like going through puberty um and that's what i was told i didn't i didn't really know if that was true but the pop girls were like it feels like a second puberty I do think like I what I appreciate about you saying that though is like I feel like it's important to recognize that your passion for art the goal is for people to enjoy it because you love it you want people to you want people to connect to it you want people to experience it but that obviously comes then with the fame aspect and then fame is the thing that I think people get so frustrated by you saying that but it's like no no no like you're you love your art that's not what you're saying you don't love you're saying you don't love the thing that comes with that and I think yeah but the beautiful thing is the art like what do you think Chapel Roan would mean mean to young Kaylee

38:48I don't even know if my younger self would be able to register that is a part of me like that's how removed yeah i i i was so so so like opposite of me now like it just it just wasn't awoken it's like awakened i mean you know like Like young Kaylee, I just felt so restricted because I was so, I was a very, I was a problem child and so angry and so like depressed and just felt like no one understood me. And now that part of me is so alive. and I always did want to like dress up and be super girly or be really like tomboy or I just wanted to be free but I did never think that it would actually happen and now that it has it's like I don't think she would believe it at all I don't think she would could ever believe that like this is what I do but doesn't that make you now happy yeah it's awesome it's like that part is awesome that i really honored my inner child to the max i think now what it is is like how do i honor my adults yeah the max it's like i don't know because this is all new and

40:29no but there's no rule but there's like every artist every pop girl the next move is like a question mark yeah because some some girls put out the first album had an incredible first album want a bunch of shit then take five years off some girls go right into it and then they end up releasing something they hate and then they release another album that they love like they never stop some just tour for there is no game plan of like how do i make sure i make the right decision that's so fucking relatable and obviously the things you're dealing with there are elements that certain people will never understand just like we may never understand certain parts of each other just like people watching this are like you guys would never understand what i'm going through but i do think it's relatable to say and i don't think that you should be criticized for acknowledging that there is an element to your life that is very confusing right now and it is okay to be so grateful and also be so fucking confused and angry in moments because that's life and i think that when someone's sitting in this chair like chapel rome you're supposed to in people's mind have the answers be grateful smile tell us that there's the coolest fucking thing that's ever happened because all of us want to be famous but then it's like at what point are we going to start to realize that so many people that do end up in the spotlight are yelling like this is not all that it's cracked up to me this shit is hard we're not asking for you to like feel so fucking bad for us but a little bit of empathy goes a long way with human beings i think that's chill to say yeah i don't think and and who gives a fuck if at one point they don't understand it like i really like that you are being honest about it rather than smiling and be like i fucking love my job alex everything's good like yeah you're not robotic i think it's also people expect me to play by different roles because i'm gay and i should be more politically correct about that and i should actually be way more knowledgeable about it and so i get asked a lot of fucking crazy questions that a lot of my peers would not get asked and that's because i'm gay and that's because like i have like my opinions but that doesn't mean i'm like completely like i don't know everything about every topic i have opinions on like i don't know everything about like being gay like i don't know everything about being a woman i don't know everything about fucking fashion or drag or performing like i try to know everything i can and but like when i don't answer a question correctly or like i don't acknowledge one community it's like how can i do it all like you can't can these girls how can these girls

43:25tour write perform interview sleep eat and eat and fucking work out and like how how can they do it all and lead a team and be a boss and pay people and like and be like fucking so politically educated it's it's exhausting and it's also impossible also why the fuck are you looking to me for some political answer you think i have the fucking answer but you're like listen to my song bitch turn it up like i'm a pop star i wish i had the answers i wish the president was a pop star but she's not i feel like something that you just said that is very apparent and I was excited today too was like this what you're saying we could do 19 fucking hours on because it's like the double standard of one you being a woman to be a gay woman there's so much that comes with it and it's like everyone in interviews like you said like there's people asking you questions that you're like I don't know and that's why I'm excited that like I feel like it's been I'm excited that we're gonna have fun today and we're having fun and talking about more light topics because it's clear that like you're fucking funny you're funny you're you're a good time i want to play a little game okay okay this is kind of inspired by your song casual love the song i'm gonna give you a situationship scenario and you're gonna tell me if it's still casual or not are you ready yeah okay they meet your entire friend group.

45:13Apparently it's casual. Apparently it is. Apparently it's casual if you meet your parents. Apparently.

45:26Okay, but you don't want it to be. Wait, the parents is fucking crazy. Apparently. Apparently it's casual if you sexed for three months.

45:41that's fucking crazy we have you ever brought a new hookup around your friends and they're like absolutely not we do not fuck with this person yeah and then i've dated them for four more years you're like love you besties but you're not like yeah that's how it goes and then when you break That's just being stupid. That's like, that is just actually like, listen to your friends. Fucking listen to your friends. If your friends are telling you this guy is like weird or this girl is weird, like something is like off, but you don't, you can't tell really. No one, it's like, it's not bad enough for anyone to tell you anything.

46:25Just fucking listen to them. If the vibe is off, it's something is wrong. Stop seeing them. I know because your friends like don't care. your friends usually aren't trying to fuck you uh-uh well sometimes that's uh we're moving on okay casual or not they make solo plans with you to celebrate their birthday that's a date i mean i guess it could be casual no i think no that's not fucking casual crazy that's not casual thank you the birthday is crazy what is a safe gift to get a situationship just buy their dinner don't yeah i don't know i'm not a gift don't make them anything that's for sure don't fucking make a casual person anything yeah that's fair i think you can get them like a bottle of alcohol yeah a bottle of alcohol is nice um probably like not a car maybe a card that oh you're gonna say a car i'm like chopper i'm not the girl that i'm not her um a safe gift i mean

47:35oh i don't even want to think about it just buy a fucking meal just pay a ticket be like hey can i take you out for a movie do an experience so you don't have to like no one hates a stuffed animal more than me have you been given many stuffed animals

47:55that's so dumb that's so bad that's so bad did you keep them i think i've burned oh i burned a pile there was something going on when i was 17

48:09okay they start calling you pet names before you're official

48:15that's like flirty oh pet names like boo-boo oh so like what what is the pet name that you i don't know what's a pet name that you've been called what's the cringiest pet name that you have ever had called to you or you called someone don't lie to me i don't know what's wrong with me right it's just gonna give away who it is i can't do it will yeah no it's fine it's fine what do you i mean i don't know what is the i'm maybe obviously they're like babe and baby but then there's like the weird ones where it's like cuddlekins that type thing or like oh stuff in movies yeah yeah that was good cuddlekins i've never heard that okay what is the most extravagant thing you've ever bought someone uh probably like venmoing my brother 500 i love that we're playing a romantic game and you're like uh you're like uh my brother i thought it was in general that's very romantic that's actually so fucking crazy the most romantic thing you've ever done my brother my brother venmo duh 500 bucks bitch i mean maybe a most extravagant gift is like writing music for them i wrote an yeah i wrote an entire ep for for someone and never came out what yeah

49:43did they hear it yeah they loved it actually they didn't love it as much as i thought they would but like I worked really hard on it and whatever we chapel can you walk me through that moment where you're like I'm gonna show you how did you tell the person that you had this for them and what was the I gave it on a C I burned it on a CD and I gave them my old CD player and my headphones and I said you should listen to this I made it for you and then there was like an entire five track ep were you in the room when they listened or no i don't i don't remember but i did like write hand write all the lyrics and like it was like honestly awesome and i think i've never given a gift like that again because i was so burned by like the relationship i'm like fuck that i'll never do that again bye how long after did you break up like two and a half years later or something like that yeah it's crazy you would never release one of those songs they're not good enough okay um okay you sleep in each other's houses multiple times a week

51:04apparently i can't stop saying apparently because i've been in all these fucking situations and like I don't think so I think that's like I mean I guess it's kind of casual no like three plus times it's not casual yeah three plus two times is like fine what the fuck ever like a Friday and like a booty call on like a Tuesday fine do you feel like you're usually in the position where the person you're seeing is in the power position are you in the i'm getting a little bit of a vibe here chapel that maybe you're not not in power yeah uh yes because i've been um in the past desperate for um companionship so i will go along with what they want relatable and will give up like basically my values and um yeah i would just give away my i throw away my personality because i don't want to be lonely and then i get mad at them for like being like this is casual whatever you know and i'm like but i threw away my entire personality for this like like i gave up my weekends for this like i you know what i mean and that's why i'm like bitter about it but honestly yeah it's like next question i just want you to know that that clip is going to replay in people's mind because that is the most relatable fucking thing anyone has ever said sitting in that fucking chair because i have done the same fucking thing and it's never worth it never and the thing is like all the people that I threw my entire life away, my self-respect, like I disregarded all my friends.

52:59I disregarded all like my gut feelings. I disregarded. You know what? It never fucking works out. Ever. It never works out. Anyone you have to throw anything away for, it never works out. Or you get married and then you get divorced. And you think that'll get better when you get married, but it never does. It only gets worse. yeah rewind to your friends having fucking kids you said they're in hell but they're in hell because they love their kids have your friends ever successfully set you up with someone no i'm hard i'm hard what wait yes oh my god yeah i dated someone for a year because my friends set me up bad or good decision i mean the whole thing was casual but we dated for a year that's why i'm saying on this stupid shit fuck yeah but this is life are you kidding me i've been fucking dragged through the mud by a man and i'm just like but i still love you and it's like dumb bitch he is literally giving you every fucking sign and more and you're still like i'm just reading into it wrong he he didn't mean that yeah he did so you're like i see the best in them it's like no you just stop stop stop you're disgusting i look back at my younger self i'm like you need to be done go fucking celibate you didn't know i know it's so fucking sad we are you a good wing woman like in the sense of helping your friends like find people no no okay i don't want to try i don't try i'm not i don't want to ever sign anyone up i think people should be single okay i'm assuming you're single right now imagine you're like i'm actually so in love imagine you fucking look at me and you go two years in babe never been better wait are you single no you're fucking lying

55:14wait are you single no you're fucking lying no you're lying you're fucking lying to me right now chapel how long six months is it casual no serious it's serious it's serious how's that very in love but i am pro single everyone should be single i'm serious be single stop dating be single have a great time alone find out for yourself if you can 100 % be okay alone before you date that's what I found out I had a great time when I was single and I know that I will be okay and now I have an awesome time that I'm with someone like how'd you meet I'm like rewind bitch you can't just drop that shit and be like but anyways be single and um any next question i love being single but you're not awesome but i even if i was i'd be okay being single is the most incredible time in your life to actually be so fucking selfish so that the next time you get into a relationship you know you're like i'm never gonna put up with this anymore because guess what doing this shit by myself is better so unless you're making my life better fuck right off okay come on what's the question how did you meet their friend but it wasn't a setup okay just like yeah i just like add up who made the first move me i'm usually the one to make i like in every circumstance i make the first move can you explain to me how you start the dating process with someone like are they are you having to have them come over to your house are you going out in public i haven't dated someone since like this all like really really blew up yeah like before i became i'm i'm dating the same person that i was dating before i got like it blew up so i'm not sure how i would date now i think it would actually be a nightmare i think i would be like so fucking single right now yeah because you're terrified about their intentions i'm scared i'm scared i don't trust i don't trust anyone i just think in my head i'm like any new person that i am texting i'm like i'm assuming they will screenshot this and like send it to someone else that's like why i can't you're like i guess we're getting married no lucky for you um how would you describe your type i really don't have one i know everyone said that but like i don't know i love um i just love as far as like looks and stuff i don't like really have a type but i love art girls like weird art girls girls who love to read and love to like who are like very niche like i probably like a girl that collects things and like is okay with an exotic pet owned a hamster one time and would own one again or like doesn't give a fuck about their car will pick up a worm is not scared of like bugs and snakes um can get down watching a foreign film would be okay like having zero plan so like have you ever taken the enneagram test i have and i cannot tell you what my fucking number is because i did it so long ago i think i'm an eight are you gonna walk out on me i'm an eight no that's rare i remember taking everyone thought i was gonna be a two what the fuck is it and you're an eight i'm an eight that's iconic do you like me more now i i am you're gonna say you love me yeah we're both eights what is like a seven a seven is someone who's like the enthusiast like someone who's just like woo party i just want to have a good time maybe that's what i am the enthusiast what's it what's nate called the challenger i'm the challenger that's me dude that's me what the fuck that's cool that's why i'm like pointing at people on the red carpet i'm like the challenger okay good to know what is the boldest thing you've ever done to shoot your shot with someone

59:47send a nude i guess i don't know just like we'll be talking like regular and i'll be like that was one time um another time oh this was so this was so fucking stupid

1:00:07i do not think i'm like actually not proud of this ex-boyfriend's at the club i'm at the club i see him hitting on this girl and i'm like why the fuck is he doing this in front of me this is evil like we're both single at this point so whatever he goes to the bathroom i go up to this girl and i'm like i think you're so pretty and then i steal her and then at the end of the night we were just making out and he's just just standing there that's weaponizing gay actually chapel that is that's called being evil and it's like i was so fucked up i was on multiple drugs so was that girl he i don't even know what he's on like and that girl like