Christina Aguilera: Getting Dirty & Talking Sex (FBF)

0:02What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with call her daddy. Christina Aguilera, welcome to Call Her Daddy. Hi. I'm staring at your nails. Oh, yes. What's happening? They're so fun. You know, it's open to interpretation. Is that a vagina? It could be a vagina. It could be lips. But two in the same, both pleasure points. Holy shit. And then there's an actual mouth and tongue on the thumbs. I mean, this could be more appropriate for a call her daddy episode. Casual Christina Aguilera is like, it could be lips. It could be my pussy lips. God bless you all. Up for interpretation.

0:48It's amazing. I love it. I need to gas you up for a second. OK, because just in case anyone fucking forgot, you are a seven time Grammy award winning singer songwriter. You have sold more than 75 million records worldwide. No big fucking deal. you're an international pop icon voice of a generation fiance mother chief brand advisor and co-founder of playground and this is your first ever podcast and you chose color daddy and i am so fucking honored i'm so honored dude i can't believe when i heard you've never done a podcast i was like sit down baby girl let's go i said yes to you because i've seen you pop up um on social media which didn't exist when i was coming up in this business and you know i've been doing this since I was like six or seven basically so um but you feel safe and I always I appreciate that you know because I've been through the gamut of a lot of interviews and people that you know I grew up at a time where it was like appropriate to be inappropriate and ask you know crazy things but I always feel it's never like the most intelligent way to go because when you make someone feel safe they want to open up more and you always do and you're so pretty by the way oh like right back at you no I really appreciate that because I agree I think that's what I want to talk to you a little bit about today is just like your journey has been so public and you've been in front of people for so many years that it's like I almost feel like people feel like they deserve a piece of you like you're a piece of the public and I think it's important to sit down and like humanize people in those situations because it's like you're a human being you have feelings you've gone through shit yes you're also like the queen of reinvention you have had so many fucking eras it's like iconic iconic iconic aside from like the present moment what is your most favorite era of your own I mean it's got to be probably stripped and dirty and beautiful and fighter can't hold us down you know the it was the time when I was turning you know I was 2021 21.

2:55I'd already gotten my foot in the door and my first album was successful, but it was still very like play played by the rules and, you know, very given a, you know, set by, you know, label, very, very label driven. And, and so after that, I, you know, was like, you know, I have to do songs that mean something to me and are valid to who I am and, and being fearless and talking about anything. And that includes sexuality. I felt that there was like a lot of shame and fear around the subject. And and especially, you know, as a woman, we're raised with a lot of stigma. There's a lot of, you know, it's so layered and it's tough to be a woman.

3:39So I wanted to really be be who I was and make it a safe space for, you know, everyone to feel good and make it a conversation. that era of yours for women in general but it's also so funny we can look back on it but I know there was pushback during that era which we'll talk about because it's so funny like now it's like oh go off Christina but it's also like crazy to then read the tabloids back then oh 100 % well first how does it feel like the amount of people that still recreate your outfits whether it was red carpet music videos like it's insane every fucking Halloween it's like Christina everywhere how does that feel that that's still so powerful in people's minds it's incredible I love it so much just because you know it now it's celebrated and it feels good and even the people that you know got it then but there was a lot of pushback there was a lot of you know um double standards with it and there was a lot of you know because I went on tour with you know Justin we did the strip justified tour and there were things where I was just like why is it okay for him and not okay for me you know what i mean so it's just like i was constantly pushing back and and my way i mean it was so inappropriate sometimes the things that were were asked about that era it's so crazy to me and i again i agree with you like that comparison of like a man doing the same thing which we'll get into because it's like i'm doing the same thing and yet I'm being called a slut and like he's like the boy next door.

5:21Let's go back to the first time that you stepped on a stage. You were nine years old competing on the show Star Search. Whose idea was it for you to do a show like that? I was at that time raised by my mom and my grandma. So strong women. And my grandma specifically really was so proud and, you know, really pushed it to be like taken seriously as something to be professional. Because singing always just came to me as like this release. I grew up in a chaotic, you know, upbringing as a very young child. and always kind of like feeling like a protector and all that and always felt isolated sort of in my position, in my situation.

6:08And so singing, it was the sound of music that first inspired me to sing. And from then I just, you know, it was like just a release and a form of expression for me before I even understood what that meant. And then whenever my parents got divorced, moved in with my grandma, my grandma was like, you know, this could be something. it's so crazy that you're like i just saw it as like a release where i was using like and meanwhile we're like we see you as one of the most truly talented singers of period point blank like hit notes that no one can but you kind of mentioned your childhood and again i think something in media is like we see this version of you that's so put together and it's like oh it's christina aguilera she has money she has fame you mentioned that you kind of grew up in an abusive household but do you remember like the first moment you realized like this is unsafe or something was wrong fear you know you have to listen to your body and um you know fear is is something that uh you know you innately feel you know uh so right then and there you know something doesn't feel good and it's not right.

7:19And then, you know, having so much compassion for my mother and seeing, you know, when you see someone being hurt, someone you love, yeah, that, you know, I still, you know, at 42, I'm still affected by this. It's under the surface. Trauma never leaves you. You just figure out ways to try and heal it. And to me, it's therapeutic to speak about it. And I saw my mom, you know, go through so much that I think that instilled a level of purpose for me in the sense of I always want to try and empower other people and people in situations where they feel voiceless and unheard. And I just have such a deep rooted need to try and, you know, use my voice.

8:09And I would later discover and understand what that meant to me. But it never leaves you. And you're triggered when you see movies, when I, you know, I just immediately, you go to that place, you know, and I've done a lot of healing and a lot of growth and releasing, you know, a lot of anger comes with that. A lot of shame comes with that. But, you know, it takes a lot for a woman to leave those situations as well. And my heart goes out because some of them don't leave them. and you know and that could vary in a lot of ways you know sometimes it's financial sometimes it's fear of authorities not helping and then it getting worse or you know sometimes they're you know sometimes it feels like there's no way out but you you know my mom luckily you know she really we would do these drives from at the time it was the last straw from jersey to my grandma's in Pittsburgh and we would just do these nightly just me her and my little sister and we would just like do the night drive but you know all of that it stays with you but it's become a part of what's important to me is my message when you say you would do these drives was it while your mom had talked about that before yeah yeah fuck five minutes no but I'm like holy fuck like was that when you were still your mom hadn't left your dad yet but you were like or had they left there was some back and forth.

9:33There's some back there's, you know, there's, there was some back and forth. There's always the tug of like, I'm never going to do it again. You know, there's, there's sweet talking involved. There's a lot of shame also in like, well, why don't you just leave? It is so much more complicated than that. And it's a mental breakdown of self-esteem and you start to believe someone else's narrative and verbal abuse to you. And it, it, self-esteem is something that can break down so easily even to the most powerful woman executive um it doesn't matter what you do this you know we can go on stage and have these larger than life personas but all it takes is for you to believe someone's negative narrative about you once it's in there and it's working its way in that's why I'm like so adamant with my daughter I'm just like first time somebody ever hits you the first time somebody makes you feel not right about yourself.

10:25Woo, girl, I'm so protective mama bear. And as, but as you should be, because like you said, like you have that trauma in you that like, you're like, I watch a fucking movie and I can feel it. And I love what you said about the concept of when someone says, why don't you just leave? When people say that it's such an ignorant statement that like pisses me off. I had a loved one that was in an abusive relationship and you're like, it's so much more fucking complex. yeah but to leave do you remember the moment that was like your mom was like we're out yes officially when the abuse started to really turn on to me you know we were living in japan for like three years so we were super isolated which is where i started singing and looking back that's where i started to kind of i would like sing out of this window i have a like thing about like windows and like they just when you're feeling just you know trapped I don't know there's something about the representation of a window and just like there's hope on the other side you know and so that's where I started you know singing these songs from like the sound of music and just to myself and just that image I'll always remember it's like a core memory of just like there's like something on the other side there's like a bigger world there's a bigger purpose.

11:36I felt it as at a really young age. But yes, it was like a matter of things. And like you're in a foreign country where my dad was in the army. So we're on an army base. I mean, in a situation like that, too, abuse runs rampant. You know, the walls are paper thin, you know, where we're living. And and you can hear abuse just happening on the other side of the wall. You can hear. I mean, you know, it's terrifying. And it's like all you want to do is help but a lot of times even when you call the authorities you don't get the help that you you need and then the door shuts and you're with your abuser again so it's so important to try and research all you can speak to people that you can trust and really you know uh try and get yourself out of these situations because you know worst case scenario you won't you know live to tell the story about it was it hard for your mother to as a single mother take care of you and your sister like then you started making money were you kind of providing for your family yes yes sweetheart yes uh still am but you know what in that in this role too it comes with responsibility and responsibility that you know I know is is destined for me and I take on and I take it on you know well when you're in those situations you grow up really fast and you become like an immediate caretaker and protector of the person that's being hurt and so yeah this is just like kind of like my role yeah yeah yeah all my dogs are rescues like you know I'm just that person your mother your mother I think back and I'm like 12 years old you join the Mickey Mouse Club Brittany Justin and I'm thinking about like how wild that time must have been for your life what do you remember like learning at 12 about the industry at that time it's a work ethic you know it teaches you work ethic you're given a schedule you know where where you are in a call sheet you know like it's it's very um disciplined and you either built for that or you're not you know and it's a it's something that you realize very quickly if if um you know you're cut out for that kind of lifestyle.

13:55It's hectic. It's chaotic. It's go, go, go. It's on the run. And that only builds, you know, the more you create. And I have to say, and my mom would always say this too, you know, she wasn't like your typical, like I would be around these kids who were just like really forced to do this, you know, and my heart would break for them. And my mom would be like, what is wrong with her? Like, you know, cause you see these mothers and the kid doesn't even want to do it, but it was just, this is what I was born to do. So it was something that we really new and and um I pushed you know for the performances to happen again like but just in the most I think organic way to start just like because I loved it yeah and for the first time I was around a bunch of other kids who really loved it too like it was just you know born performers right and it was really cool to feel that energy because you know coming up in school in the town that I grew up it wasn't really like you know it's a sports town you know and that kind of thing was very celebrated but like arts and creativity and whatnot you have that in Pittsburgh but yeah I just didn't have a lot of kids that truly um loved doing that and those kids were just you how talented everyone was Ryan Gosling like you know Carrie Russell there was just so many people that it was just like wow what a what a casting agent you know to get everybody together i do relate to like feeling a little bit like you're out of place where you grew up and it only exacerbates the feeling of like wanting to get out and wanting to find like-minded people yeah but it's so interesting also hearing you talk because it's like it feels like you were almost made to have to grow up very quickly in in many ways where like your ambition immediately led you to working at a young age your family situation you had to grow up quickly is there anything that you wish that you could have done more as like a child and in your in your younger life that you didn't really get to have a normal childhood it's a good question um in really thinking about it probably know.

16:04Like I live my life. No, sometimes I would, you know, cause I was, was working a lot. Um, but it's, I, I wanted to go, you know, I wanted to, you know, um, you know, I wanted to, I wanted to work, you know, I've always operated on like fight or flight, you know, in many different ways. And, um, the more successful you are, of course, more is going to come with that. That's very demanding and very scrutinizing do you think though there's the part of you that was really ambitious yes and then naturally like we are who we are from like our childhood and nature versus nurture like when you say like you were always running wanting to go do you have you connected that at all to also like your childhood it could have been I haven't really dissected that that part but I always drummed really big you know I always jumped really big and and yeah it could be looking for some sort of maybe escapism I mean I think half the people that are in this business where we need you know it's it sucks because we're the most sensitive people on the planet yet we're looking for like you know but we have this like you know alter ego that we have to turn on to get the work done and to and to you know follow a schedule but also that makes us so vulnerable and in needing some kind of weird validation totally totally your breakout solo genie in a bottle I was gonna say top the charts that's like a fucking understatement it took over the world what do you remember about the day that that song was released I was still in New York I was living I was on my own pretty early too trying to get a record deal um and so I was like you know house hopping from like odd places from my manager's house at the time to another manager like it was very odd and weird and I would again mama bear like never with my daughter like I would be so like protective and overseeing all that which is a whole other story but in New York yeah was where I started hearing it on the radio for the first time.

18:23So the album wasn't completely done and out. And I would just remember hearing that and I was just like, Oh my God. And it took me back to like, driving around the car in Pittsburgh and only hoping that I would like, hear my song one day on the radio and just dreaming about it. Again, big dreamer, Sagittarius, very like, you know, sky's the limit. I'm gonna do this. So it was the most amazing feeling in the world yeah and i think again it's almost like dissecting like what everyone was watching in the world was like genie in a bottle christina aguilera like this hot amazing talented young woman then you're saying like oh i'm like living with managers i'm like kind of in sketchy situations where the world probably wouldn't even fucking fathom that christina aguilera wasn't like set up and all good but what were you emotionally going through at that time oh man that's a loaded question what was I emotionally going through at that time I mean looking back I probably I didn't have much time to even think about anything I was given the schedule I was told what to do you know told what to do um my true opinion didn't really matter from everything you know like I remember like you know being told what to wear what the image was gonna to be and you know not feeling super comfortable that's also the product of a kid being raised in the business too you know growing up and like you're constantly being told by adults and mainly men you know how and what to be and you're hearing conversations too of what they their ideal you know woman should be and look like and so at a young impressionable age like I just remember it was just so you take certain things on and then you have to like reprogram to think for yourself and and what makes sense for you so um it's a lot you know to take on so your dreams are coming true but you're not quite getting to be the person that you want to be and and telling the stories you want to tell it's like so helpful through all that for nothing no but straight up I will be real with you it's I really think it's so helpful to hear you talk about this because I remember myself sitting at home with my older sister watching these videos and to know that like this first era not to take anything away from it but like that wasn't fully you like that was like a lot of men in a room constructing like let's have her hair look like this and let's like have her wear this which I get as part of the industry but also then my like heart goes out for baby Christina because I'm like that age for a young woman to already be dealing with like insecurities and figuring yourself out and then to have men be like we need this this this you were like exposed to such a different level of criticism and someone being so fixated on your looks like how did that affect your self-worth?

21:31I mean, it's a lot. I mean, you could only imagine. It's difficult enough growing up and trying to figure it out away from the camera, but being, you know, in front of it and, you know, scrutinized and picked apart and judged and everybody's got a different opinion. That's the one thing I learned really early on is like, whoa, no matter what I do, like somebody's gonna be anti it and somebody's not gonna be happy with it and I was like and I'd always diaryed and journaled and like I always had this thank god this core sense of myself and what I wanted my purposes and my messages to do and and to help and that's what I feel like kept me riding that core line of like bringing me back to real purpose and and to be authentic with what I did then you decided fuck this I'm going to add my twist and add actually Christina into the mix of who I am and what I want to be and you came out with the dirty music video which is so fucking iconic I was watching it this morning just being like I every time every time I just get excited to watch it but at the time the press pinned you as this bad girl they were slut shaming you there were literally celebrities coming out being like goddamn like she like looks like a whore she looks like a slut which is so fucking crazy because as I was watching it re-watching it this morning I was like it's such a major celebration of the female body and sexuality how do you remember breaking away from what everyone wanted you to do and making this happen slash then how did those comments affect you once you released it yeah so many things popping through my mind yeah yeah let's go like 10 answers in there that I could think of but yes um I was actually surprised because like I was so in my zone of just like expressing and creating this album um and and just truly trying to make every facet of it speak of myself as as a woman and I didn't and I didn't want to fit a box of like I'm sweet and vulnerable and demure and I'm gonna you know do the programmed you know pop format but I'm not any particular one thing or one brand and that's what I did not like about the business is the fact that they immediately try to box you and label it so that it's easier for them to understand but it was hard you know being a kid and being like oh my god I'm just trying to live my life I'm 21 I'm having fun like these were my college years right you know this was my moment except everybody could see it but I was having you know I'm an artist at the end of the day I you know how this is how I express myself you know um and I wasn't just coming with dirty you know then we came with beautiful and then we came with fighter, which was a representation kind of of, you know, my past and going against the grain of people that I felt really wronged me.

24:37Because that's another thing you, you know, people steal from you, people that are so close to you. I remember being so devastated about people that I, that really disappointed me to my core that I was like, oh wow, like I feel really alone. You know, like it was, it really like, and then you want to retreat and then you want to get defense mechanisms up and then you don't trust anyone like as if I didn't already have trust issues you know from my childhood I was about to say like layers on layers on layers but but in any case you know it's part of my journey it's it's what I was meant to go through and honestly I wouldn't have it any other way because had I not gone through all these things I wouldn't sing the way I do I wouldn't create the way I do I wouldn't write the way I do I was like a sponge I just like took it all in and when I was ready to just be like no more I don't care and I remember being quoted saying you know I don't care this next record if I sell one record or one million like all the the cool like accolades and stuff that's amazing I'm grateful but at the end of the day I have to like sit with myself and feel like I'm contributing a bigger thing to the world than just a pop song and a chart and an award.

25:48It's deeper than that to me. And that's what I always, and that's what I set out to do with Stripped. And I was able to do it, thank God, after getting my foot in the door. But I was going to then play by my own rules and represent the kind of woman that I wanted to be.

26:18I'm just like sitting here a little not in shock but I will say like you truly never know what you're gonna get when someone walks in a door and I'm picturing Christina Aguilera like grew up obsessing over you had posters like you're so fucking normal I don't know where I would be if like at this age I started working and at this age I'm living with creepy managers and then this age people are stealing from you and like to see like you sitting here and having such like a grasp on what happened to you but every statement you constantly are like but I'm grateful and like I have perspective and like it's really cool to see how you've kind of taken ownership of what you can don't give any of those bastards like any fucking out though I look back at articles and I feel like there were so many comments on your you're like oh the articles You're like, sweetie, which ones?

27:14Take a sip. Is there alcohol here? No. Were you happy being known as the tiny girl with the big voice? Like, how did you feel about your body as a young woman that the world is commenting on your body? It was crazy growing up. And then, yeah, hearing people talk about, I mean, everything, everything. It's, you know, having opinions on everything, your looks, your voice, your style, your it's everything. back then you also exuded this like confidence sexually like on stage and and in your your music and for the world we were all like oh my god like I want to be like her like she's so sexy and beautiful and smart and talented how did you feel about your sexuality back then I wanted to always own it you know it was important to me I didn't I think also you know the older I got and the more And by that time, you know, for most people that would maybe be in your like 30s to have that mindset of like, I'm going to do things my way.

28:13And, you know, I mean, I'd grown up with so many opinions that I was just like, I'm not going to play by your rules. I'm not going to see myself as you see me. I'm going to own my sexuality for myself. Sexuality is a beautiful thing. And we need to take care of it as women. We need to really make sure that we prioritize it and ourselves and what it means to us because every woman is different. And I never wanted to also insert the fact that I was so comfortable with my sexuality and like, yeah, like we're going to dance it. We're going to, you know what I mean? Like all this stuff. I never wanted to also, you know, even though it did anyway, make some women like, you know, uncomfortable with what I was doing.

28:53But I never wanted to make it like, you know, you have to be this way too. Like everyone has their different comfort zone with it. And just because I want to express myself this way, like, again, let people live. Totally. Like, let everybody own it the way they need to own it. Let's talk about it, you know. And back then, you know, that's what's cool about what you do, what you do, is we're able to have these open conversations now. Now I see women more than ever talking to each other. And it's like, okay, and so accessible with our phones and, like, social media. that's the positive of it and and and everything is is that we get to like have more accessibility totally other totally and be like this is happening too right like are we on the same page girl like totally but i didn't have that back then so yes it was it was very hard and very terrifying and i took so much personal i really did and then you have people in this situation this is why you're my first podcast because you have you know you're so used to creating these like certain walls and defense mechanisms because you're just like people are baiting you and then you're like wait I didn't say that and I didn't say it like that right you know how it is no dude you're so right because I feel like your era of coming up it was like extra hard yeah paparazzi tabloids I'm like holy shit like people so fixated on every single move what was dating like for you wow um what was your dating life like as you were like coming up in your career like late teens I didn't really have time for that but I did um I always went for things that I would feel safe about like you know we'd have our you know you'd travel and you'd meet certain people but I was it's so funny that I gave this persona because I probably was like the last person to lose my virginity and like you know I just I don't know it was something that was for me you know what I mean and that's I guess why my messages went the way they did too is because I owned it first maybe um but it doesn't matter how it goes down as long as you find your way and your path with being comfortable with yourself but um we always get like off topic when did you lose your virginity bring me back tell us it was later than you would think okay you know given the girl that was doing dirty and all this you know but yeah it's just it's more of a funny thing looking back where it's just like people thought probably like you were popping off but yeah it was I had you know I had certain dancers that were like close quarter because you have to like you know you're traveling a lot and And you have accessibility to only so many things.

31:40So, you know, it is what it is. And then, you know, like, I mean, yeah. A lot of things that I'm just like, yeah, maybe I should have realized he wasn't looking at me. He wasn't interested in me. You know, like, he's looking at him. No! Christina! There's a lot of things, you know, that I'm just like, oh, sad. Like, I feel bad for, like, my younger self. Like, oh, sad. I love you little PR trained. You're like, and maybe a dancer that was more into men. And I should have seen. So, okay. So you look, you had an interesting experience. Despite being such an icon, I was looking, I'm like, you don't have too crazy of like a celebrity roster attached to your name.

32:23I know. And my question is, Miss Aguilera, was that actually because that was intentional? Or were you just really good at keeping things hidden and a little secret that we didn't know about? Yeah. I definitely I've had my experiences, but I also like, oh, I mean, my life is hectic enough. And like this is a very narcissistic industry. And like my anxieties couldn't maybe take somebody that did the exact same thing I did and ran around and traveled. It's like, I know how this goes. Like, I'm too like I'm too, too vulnerable for this. I'm too sensitive to like be so paranoid. so like you know this business is very demanding it's a lot and um and and and yeah I just you know I I've definitely like not been into the celebrity thing right no that's really refreshing to hear because it's like you you see some people like trying to you it's it's obvious on the internet like oh this couple is appearing and it's like to stay relevant and I can imagine how obnoxious like that word is of like being in the industry for so long it's like how does the stress of like managers and people being like we need to stay relevant we need to do this like how does that affect you it's just annoying more than anything else I don't want to be corny and be like it's but it really is to me about intentions you know and if it if it doesn't feel right to me like I just can't do it I can't I have a really hard time forcing myself it wasn't interesting to me I don't know that's so interesting too because i feel like guys next door interesting because you know what is so fascinating it's like did anyone ever try to be like hey like look at these people doing couples like this will make your career even crazier yeah yeah i've you know i've had i just if it's not real to me and authentic i can't do it you know i can't force something as personal as that totally i know you mentioned trust issues is there any because i don't think a lot of us can fathom the amount of cameras and paparazzi back then like is there any paranoia that has lingered in you oh yeah 100 i mean it's i went through a bad period at a certain time where even like the clicking of the camera paparazzi like like just was so like upsetting to me i'd like have a panic attack and i know i've heard other celebrities actually say this too and then you have really horrible stories that happen whenever you again starting to believe a narrative you know and then um yeah it's a very weird thing um uh that kind of attention and that that kind of um that world so yeah that that is a part of too why it's just like you know it's very anxiety riding for me you know um let's talk a little bit about relationships and then we're going to talk about sex first with relationships I'm curious because I am currently in therapy and I think it's so interesting of like we're all trying to undo shit that our parents fucked us up with it's just the fact I don't care if you have perfect parents then you're still fucked up so it's like are there any patterns in relationships previous relationships that you you now kind of recognize that you had to stop and and try to break moving forward like bad patterns Mm hmm.

35:46Yeah. You know, it's it's still a process sometimes to really you have to check yourself, too. I think there's accountability in, you know, things that even though they're not your fault, you're still conditioned and programmed in a way of fear and paranoia. And and also sometimes not given a good guideline can really mess you up, you know, because then it's like, is this normal or is this just like or or is this something i need to leave the relationship for like i'm so like into being like okay wait do i need to be taking this shit right now or can i walk or should i walk the fuck away like you know what i mean like what's normal what's like so it's a constant i you know i'm i believe in therapy too the right kind of therapy i know that you mentioned you have like a collection of diaries that you've kept for like 20 some years what's a diary entry that makes you kind of sad for your younger self when you read it I think just yeah how how hurt I was because I was so into this being like uh one day I'm gonna I'm gonna make it and I'm gonna you know you know see myself on MTV and like all this stuff like it was just it was such a dream and coming from such a good place to all of a sudden you're shook by all the shit that comes with the success.

37:15And yeah, I think it's like, it's sad when I, when I see how, how some like press and articles and some interviews that were just so taken out of context or just mean, like how hurt I was by that, truly like affected. And, and then, yeah, it just makes you internalize negative thoughts about yourself and feelings if you can share what was something specific you know back then there was a lot of like you know it was a it was a different business where there was a lot of you know female comparisons and double standards with women and it's just was a constant like pitting against each other and like it just felt like just punches in the face and it was just you know yeah it's fucking hard it was it was hard to just constantly feel like you know you're making music and doing something you love and then you know someone spinning something so negative about it and it was just it was really hard because sometimes who you were pitted again you actually genuinely you know loved and and like respected so it was just like you know but again then you have people like baiting you and and and and do you know what she said about you well you know what I mean and then you're like wait what you know so it's just like and you're too much of a kid to understand like what's happening I hated that shit you know like that's why also like now I'm just so excited to see you know more you know exposed women supporting women because now you're cutting through the middleman a lot more which is really really nice yeah i think it it clearly worked for the tabloids to have characters and ideas of if we put this person against this person this is going to be this is going to sell through because these are two huge names or three huge names or this cut like yeah it's so insane and you're but then it's like i'm an individual why can't i just be christina aguilera this incredible singer and leave it at that and then let everyone also have their own careers because there's so many other people thriving and that must have been very I remember there was yeah a headline that was like comparing me with another artist and was like it's like Roe versus Wade hit the side you know and I was like oh my god you're so dramatic like you're like it's not that serious young to even really understand what that meant so I was like you could just understand the level of like how young I was being thrust into this world that was like wait what are you saying what are you saying dude the pettiness to compare people to Roe v Wade like let's tone it down a notch TMZ or whoever the fuck you know what I mean I know I know it was like a newspaper it wasn't even like um yeah it was too much it was too much okay I love to ask people this because it does give insight what is your biggest insecurity girl girl what is my biggest insecurity

40:29oh my god I really wasn't prepared for that question I don't know I could think of I mean every I don't know every day it's something different it's a part of you what is my biggest insecurity

40:49biggest insecurity um i think we all have this where we just don't feel good enough i don't know in every in every sense you know i think we can all pick different parts of ourselves and pick ourselves apart for forever but i really it's it's a it's something you have to train yourself against when you say you're not good enough take a sip she's coming back no but when you say you're not good enough everything like you know I mean I think this business operates like a business you know and it's a whole self-worth thing and then image yeah I've been through the gamut of you know people growing up in this business they're gonna see you as a teenager a kid.

41:33They're going to see you as a young woman coming into your body and expressing yourself. They're going to see you as a grown woman. They're going to see you be pregnant. They're going to see you go through the gamut of different places and stages of your life where you're different kind of weights. And, you know, we all go through these things as women in general. But yeah, it's so hard to just be inundated with different opinions. And everybody has different standards for what what they want but again women like embracing this now more than ever so yeah not being good enough I think is the perfect answer that makes sense of just a culmination of this whole interview is like you wanting to be yourself and being in an industry where it's like picking apart every fucking thing you do whether it's the people you're working with or the media and it's like it's never good enough it's never good enough it's almost like it's never right ever because everyone has a definition of what good enough means and then the same people are that are rating good enough don't feel good about themselves and so like where is this all like stemming so it's cyclical and you have to really isolate your perspective because even whenever you know someone's comparing you to someone else you're like well wait should i be compared like you start just second guessing yourself and so yeah it's it's it's tough out there it's tough out there and how we get through that is by having sex no that transition i'm like no let's talk about sex yeah

43:19what is your favorite part about sex getting off i mean like but it's not that cut and dry my favorite part i love intimacy some it depends every person is different and that's what i love about sexuality i love getting into it and finding out how everyone operates you know how much of a freak are you how much of a you know submissive are you like what is your what is your playground how much of a freak are you Christina how much more figure you I would I would say I actually this is a question because I will answer that I will say I remember my sex in college I had lost my virginity in high school and I was like I don't even know what I was supposed to just feel from that like what the fuck just happened like um was that supposed to feel good yeah and then when I got to college I felt like oh I'm like having good sex no I fucking wasn't no I fucking wasn't I thought because I was comparing it to high school sex which was like literally sandpaper and it was like awful feeling so I'm like then I think as I started to explore my sexuality more like junior senior year of college I started to be more confident and kind of being like fuck the guy like I'm gonna get myself off and that's when I got a vibrator and I started to use lube and it's like when you can get yourself off first and you're like oh that is what I want to feel every time I'm fucking a guy a girl that whoever it is so I would say as I've explored more in the bedroom I've just naturally become more of a freak because I'm like I want to feel this I want to feel this with my partner I want us to like explore new things together if that makes sense so it's been like a gradual progression but I was like I wasn't like fucking like great in college and I thought I was like a freak but nobody you know nobody is nobody knows what they're doing at first that's why it should feel like exploration and it's okay but you're so insecure at that age and you you see these movies and all that you just want to have it all figured out right off the bat or or you're too you know young to speak up for yourself and you know it kills me too whenever you're grown and you feel too insecure to speak up for yourself when you're not in a relationship that feels safe enough for you to have these conversations or even to compare notes with other women you know because it's so shameful but um but sex is fun and knowing your body is so important you know and you're only going to know your body when you spend time with yourself first so that you even know so that you even know what to ask from your partner or what you like.

46:04Do you incorporate toys into the bedroom? I do. I mean like you know as you mentioned the vibrator was a game changer whenever I was you know first exploring myself and you know first sex store I ever went into and you know I was just like oh my god I literally remember even having like this little like pocket size one I could like pack in my bag on an airplane like I was horny like you know what I mean like are you getting off on an airplane I know she's getting excited just talking about it but that's how we should be yes of course are you kidding me like sometimes sometimes it's an anxiety thing too like a lot of girls like when I'm nervous like I would feel it very early on like when I was like in school like even as a girl like I felt nervous about something I would be like oh oh you're like oh when did you start masturbating what was the first time you masturbated oh my god when was oh well I think we all kind of like start as little girls like when you rub up against things and it feels good and you know like you know I think that's also whenever it's just like you have to be like it's okay like that's for you know have your private time so you're not doing it for another company.

47:20You have to learn these things. And sometimes we don't have good teachers and that make us feel safe. So that came early on. So it was like, you know, some people I think have more sensitive areas and I just, I've always been engaged with understanding there's things happening down there. Christina is masturbating on planes. She's getting off. She's having the best time of her life. What is your best skill in the bedroom? Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Yeah. Like, where do I begin? I mean, hands down. I mean, it's got to be blowjobs. I mean, I'm a I love a blowjob. You know, I mean, I and I, you know, I know I enjoy it.

48:06Like I had a lot of also like male friends who I was always like, and what do you do here? Like I was literally, I grew up around them. So it's like, I know every different part and the sensitive areas. And I, I like, I literally, I do enjoy, I hear some women don't like it, but I don't know, man, it's, it's, it's a turn on, you know? It is because, and I love that you're saying that too. Cause like, we're like, we can enjoy ourselves, get off. there's nothing better than if a guy actually knows how to eat you out but there's something so hot about pleasuring your partner because that gets me off I don't want like him to not be enjoying it because I know I'm going to be enjoying myself do you have any little tips is there any you're like I know the areas like what areas well again sexuality is a very you know specific thing so like what one guy might like another one doesn't you know like there are some guys that don't like their balls being touched or tampered with there are some guys that like brutal things happening to them.

49:04And, you know, yeah, there's a lot of different levels, you know, that's why it's important to like be with a partner where you can really just explore. And there's still a lot more things that I have not explored yet that are on my to do list. And, you know, I think, you know, it's hard when you also have kids, you know, sometimes it's been like oh okay and you're here okay amazing so it's it's a lot of things and but it's something you have to make time for but yeah I I love that and I also like I mean I think there's there's something to be said after you put in the hard work I think swallowing is really you know a good thing and it's got a lot of protein I have to say I'm a promoter of the swallow okay I like I didn't put in that hard work for nothing you know we we went in there I got tugs and pulled and like you know there's things happening you know maybe gagged I don't know but you know I mean hey whatever your pleasure points are but it's fun it should be fun you know as long as you feel good and safe with your partner whatever your your bag is but I fucking love you I love you so much that was fucking amazing okay top three sex positions oh um i think um oh you're fun i don't think you know like you're actually safe to talk to it's not creepy yeah like a a male journalist like christina top three you're like i mean yeah like i don't have sex anymore definitely a new dawn new day to be like safe about it it depends on the mood uh definitely I mean I I love a lot of positions sometimes it's nice like early in the morning like from your side from behind and it's like there's like holding involved and like you know spooning involved I like I love to cuddle I love to feel like safe and protected but then it's like I get too hot and then I'm like okay leave me alone I just wanted to feel it for a second I'm good but the morning from the side is also so nice because it's like we're half doing it or not but it's like kind of a nice wake up you can get your vibrator in there and then your ass starts being like oh oh and then you're pulling i mean i like it the chair is my becoming my friend because then halfway through you're like doing it from the side and then you like kind of flip on your stomach and then it's from behind the whole thing is nice it's so good i mean you know you don't know where it's gonna go sky's the limit but um there's that yeah like some good like doggies sometimes like in the shower there's you know I've been you know there's been some good times you know like there's like the studio soundboard been you know been bent over there a couple times it's it's fun you know use your imagination you know Christina I love that playing can be fun we've definitely hid some things under the blankets when the seats are big enough to like you know we've been hot you know I I can't believe we didn't get caught like so many times in so many situations like thank the lord but i have always thought about that but i feel like i'm too much of like a pussy that i was like fuck i don't know if i'm gonna be able to pull that off yeah are you talking about a private plane though no i'm not actually on international flights you know they turn the light off like the chairs are like i don't know where you're sitting but you know there's always like room for like be get creative and you know blankets it's like it's like the position we just talked about the little spoon it's like oh i feel safe with my partner here like we're just sleeping together the flight attendant's like ma 'am yeah yeah no you gotta wait till everyone's like going to sleep you know what I mean so yeah you gotta you know it's setting the mood everyone's like note to self try to find Christina Aguilera on a flight at some point in life and sit next to her oh my god that's iconic follow these instructions I love how open you are just about all this because again I think something I've tried to do in my show and I love that you are doing is talking about this it should not be shameful we should not be embarrassed like we're celebrating the fact that we've been repressed for so many fucking years to even enjoy ourselves to even acknowledge like the lower half of our body and what's going on down there and I think it's important for women like us to sit here and casually talk about something because I know how many women are at home being like if Christina Aguilera can talk and she's casually coming out being like this is this like yeah it just is it's an exciting new era I feel like for women and it's like we get to own our shit and be like fuck you if you want to call us a slut or whore whatever we don't care because we're not we're just enjoying ourselves and doing what we should be doing which is celebrating our bodies and doing the same thing that men have done forever it's true it's really really true I think because of generations of like not knowing how to talk about it being shamed for it.

53:56It being like, you know, something that's very, you know, celebrated from a male's point of view and objectified that we don't know where we stand with it. But now more than ever, I feel like this generation is like having none of it. And we want to talk about it. We want to engage. We want to be educated about it. We want to know what's good for it. And we should now the time for that. And and making sure, you know, that's why it's like music and lyrics. You know, I had a song called sex for breakfast on my you know one of my albums we've we've never been shy about things but this is literally you know just the next progression for me and in passing something down to my daughter that she can enjoy and understand like this is nothing to be ashamed of this is healthy natural put good things on it you know vitamin vitamins for their vitamins for there okay talk to me about playground a little bit because why did you decide to be a part of this well I think the authenticity behind what it means to me being always uh in the forefront either defending you know or celebrating or opening conversations and doors for women to be able to feel safe enough to talk about their sexuality and what that means for them because again everybody is so different and there's no shame in the game I just want to really just um Now at this point in my life, being a mother who has a daughter who's developing her own relationship with her body and asking me, you know, when she sees, you know, that time of the month for me, like, what's a tampon?

55:27What does it do? You know, how am I going to approach these conversations? And in making her make sure that she feels she's taking care of herself so that she can also engage with a future healthy relationship that's sex positive. Sex is very important. I love the product Playground it's all safe it's all natural and it just you know you know feels good you know we've explored with this um you know safe for you and um and it's so pretty it fits in like the palmier I love it you can put it on your nightstand it's like your bedside best friend is what I like to call her and um and this is a product that's literally good for you and good for your vagina and like why aren't we paying more attention to that for ourselves and I love that you're saying like why can't we just walk into stores and be like I'm gonna buy this for my vagina I'm gonna buy this for my armpits like it should feel like a whole wellness check that I I don't think also women feel like lube specifically has had such a negative connotation because oh you're so dry and then a man is like oh are you not turned on and it's like no you idiot that has actually nothing to do with you nothing like what a concept it has nothing to do with you yeah yeah yeah so I feel like there's still this shame around like pulling out lube and all I can ever say is like if you aren't using lube you're not having the best sex you could be having point blank point blank sex is 10 times better with lube that's a thousand percent and it's like we wouldn't think of like doing things to our face like we moisturize there's women that do we do 10 step beauty routines and things we wouldn't think of like going through a drugstore and not hitting that section not doing something moisturizing for our hair like this is the epicenter of power like we need to be nurturing and taking care of and celebrating this very important part it literally yeah it's the star of the show so we literally need to be giving you know nurture tender loving care to it and also it should be explored and what better to help do this but then you know sometimes it's a little get a little something something down there yeah last question in a last last overall ready no wait in a 2018 billboard interview you told the journalist to write great things about you do you have any great things about yourself that you want to share with the world that you feel like maybe people don't know about you or misunderstand about you that you're like you know what listen to this yeah I grew up at a time again where there was like a lot of um negativity that was you know just always trying to be um you know poked you know and I'm I'm also you know you know I I have no time for like negativity and it's like I've been in the business long enough to know like you know I just want none of it anymore to be a part of like the headline and it's like something that you know as a grown woman you can have more control over but you know um uh i don't like getting poked under the table because then the class come out you know we're in an elevated time in our in all of our lives we are more open and talking to each other and i'm just i want peaceful energy peaceful vibes like i don't need to be talking about things that happened, you know, decades ago, like, let's grow up, let's embrace like now more than ever is the time for that.

59:07And so I think, yeah, just, you know, don't poke the bear anymore. Like don't poke, don't poke, don't poke me under the table, because I'm still not going to be, you know, I'm still not going to be, I'm not gonna be baited anymore. You know, like, a long time, you know, it happened for a long time, too. And this happened even, you know, after I had my babies. It's like a lot of people, because they're, you know, they need some attention too. They're like, I'll get poked under the table and be like, it's one of those passive, what do you call these people that are just passive aggressive? They'll poke under the table when no one's looking and then be like, I don't know why she's so, I don't know.

59:45She's crazy. You know what I mean? And you're like, just leave me alone. Manipulative, like, because like, yeah, don't poke me too much. Like, let's not get it twisted though. I'm sensitive and all that, but I'm a tough cookie. At the end of the day, I truly don't give a fuck. You know what I mean? like I just really don't and I you know this is why like I just don't have time for the petty bullshit or you know just you know sometimes you know the celebrity status stuff it's just like I just I want to live a real life and a loving life you know right I just I want good things around my energy space is so important to preserve that and and for my children you know no I appreciate you explaining that because it's also like I get what you're saying it's like I'm trying to be over here living my life yeah stop trying to have me come back into the bullshit that I was in for so long decades decades grown women shit truly truly involved examples Christina I honestly cannot thank you enough for coming on I know you don't do this often and like getting to know you truly I respected you before but like naturally when you get to know someone the respect just grows and you're such a strong inspirational human being and I just I I am so happy I got to sit with you so much