Confession: I Was The Other Woman

0:02What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with call her daddy. Daddy gang, welcome to another episode of Call Her Daddy. It is Valentine's Day, you little fucking whores. And I promise you, if you are ugly crying in your bed right now, sobbing, snot is coming out, your dog is in the corner terrified, wise mommy having a fucking mental breakdown, because he didn't call and he didn't text, and my situationship didn't ask me if he wanted to go out with me so that I could fuck him on V-Day and I'm alone forever. it's fine okay it's completely fine I fucking hate I hate I despise this holiday because it's so fucking stupid I don't know what's dumber New Year's or Valentine's Day you tell me I guess I would say Valentine's Day just because New Year's you know you get off of work for Valentine's Day you sit at your desk you sob your boyfriend either a didn't get you what you wanted b is a fucking fuck boy or see he got you everything you wanted and you just fucking hate him and you realize you don't want to be with him if you are in love over there keep it to your fucking self okay i'm not going to be talking about how in love i am with matt today my valentine's day gift to you is a story time about valentine's day from the vault now something about telling old stories from my past time of when i was a degenerate and addicted to the toxic i've seen a couple comments and you know some brads and chads but what are the version of brads and chads for women like Angela's and Karen's have been like whining in my comments like Alex like why are you telling these stories like Matt's gonna be so insecure and he's gonna be so upset that you're talking about sucking another man's dick and deep throating the life out of him first of all no um honestly yes to deep throating no to Matt getting upset thank you for your concern I do just want to let you know that Matt and I are thriving and even if we weren't why do you fucking care you know what I mean all you need to worry about anytime you tune in to call her daddy is that I'm here to entertain you so some weeks yes I may tell you about my wonderful healthy relationship with my fiance who I love truly so much but other weeks we also may take it back to life before Matt and that's okay that's like when people in relationships and want to pretend like I don't want to hear about your past and it's like okay insecure bitch like why and it's like I don't want to hear don't tell me la la la it's like we can be mature Matt knew he was marrying me and I was a psychopath and he fell in love with me because of my storytelling ability okay whether it's his dick or another he said sweetie I want a house in Malibu get us that coin let's go anyways um I want to talk about some absolutely unhinged and insane just things that I did in the past.

3:00So daddy gang, buckle up because I'm about to tell you the worst Valentine's day that I ever had in my entire life. Let's get into it.

3:27So it was Valentine's Day 2020. We're going back four years and I was in the process of rekindling the flame with an ex-boyfriend. And by that first sentence alone, daddy gang, a little teaching lesson here. You can probably already guess it's going downhill. OK, because when has it ever been a good idea to get back with an ex, period, full stop? When has it ever been a good idea? Never, especially when they cheated on you. But just in general, getting back with an ex, it's going to be a no from me, dog. You know what I mean? It's never going to work. I don't know anyone who has ever ended a relationship and gone back and it ended in a happy love story.

4:06Don't write in if it's happened to you. I really don't care, okay? The point is don't go back to an ex. But to top it all off, getting back together with an ex around Valentine's Day, that's just fucking mental. That's insane. but I was young and I was dumb and I was naive and my ex and I at this point so we started talking and I will say we were probably talking and having sex for like a few months at this point and you know things were pretty decent I will say in my life like I had to give context I had started call her daddy around this time so I was bringing just like a complete different energy to the relationship from the last time that we dated.

4:50Back in the day, most of the men that I was, you could say dating, fucking, attracted to, seeking out, they always had more money than me. Was it strategic? Yeah. That's on you to like, you know, context clues here. But I was always dating men with more money and they were usually more successful than me. So I felt like I always had to play by their rules a little bit, right? I went into this relationship with a different fucking attitude because I didn't need this motherfucker's money or status. I had my own fucking shit going on. Ladies, reminder, it's not about how much money you have, but it is about knowing you have your own fucking shit to the right.

5:33So if he swerves on the left, you're fucking good to go. Okay. You're not left in the dust, left in the desert, crying your eyes out with nothing to your fucking name. Okay. But I didn't know that at the time. So I did cry and cry my eyes out. Valentine's Day rolls around. And so naturally he offers to fly me out to see him so that we can spend this very, very dumb romantic holiday together. And we were going to have a romantic weekend. And what made it even more romantic was the fact that we couldn't leave the house that he was renting. And no, daddy gang, I know you're probably thinking, damn, Alex, We never took you for a romance, gal.

6:14I can't believe it. You guys were just so into each other. You missed each other so much. You missed that embrace of each other, the comfort, the company of each other. You couldn't bear leave the bed, let alone leave the house, okay? You just wanted to fuck each other's brains out. I'm here to say that wasn't actually the case at all. That's not why we didn't leave the home, daddy gang. It was as if I was on house arrest, more like. I couldn't leave the house and be out in public with him because the real reason was the New York Post Times. The Times would never report on the New York Times wrote an article.

6:52The New York Times write an article. No, the New York Post page six had recently leaked that we were seen together at some party making out potentially. And again, this breakup was so fucking nasty, you guys. So bad that our families were dead set against us, never seeing each other again. Okay, they despised each other. So we didn't want this little Valentine's Day trip to get out. I don't think there's a bigger red flag than hiding a relationship from your friends and your family. It's definitely a thrill. Oh, we love the thrill of it. But that's a red flag, daddy gang. So I get onto the plane and I arrive at the home that he rented for the two of us.

7:36And I got there with a plan. I really wanted to spice things up sexually and really I wanted to shock this man. Okay, because by the end of our relationship, we had really gotten complacent. And I wanted to start this new chapter off with a bang. I really wanted to remind him what I was capable of. So it's Valentine's Day night. we aren't leaving the house. He has roses and candles and balloons delivered. He has a chef come cook us dinner. The vibes were flowing. Now this ex of mine was a stoner. And at the time, since we had broken up, my tolerance had fucking dipped. Like I take one hit of a bong.

8:21I'm going to be fucking litty titty out of my mind. Big Al could not hang like she used to. So after dinner, he takes a bong rip and he takes multiple massive hits and he hands me the bong and I join right in and pretty soon after we smoke I'm straddling him on top of the couch we are aggressively making out it's like that feeling you know when you just like cannot get enough of each other like everyone doesn't want us to be together this is so hot Bonnie and Clyde we're on the run oh we're not on the run we're actually can't leave the house I knew it was time to finally initiate my surprise In my suitcase, I had brought with me the hottest red lingerie outfit that I could find online.

9:02I ordered it and my plan was to slip away to the bathroom, put on this lingerie, come back, have his jaw hit the floor, and then have the most incredible passionate sex ever. So I'm straddling him. I push him down and I say, don't move. I'll be right back. I have a surprise for you. The moment I walked into the bathroom, it hit me. I was so fucking high out of my mind. Now, daddy gang, when selecting this particular lingerie outfit, in my head when I was scrolling online, I imagined that the 15-piece set would really be spectacular, okay? I'm like the intricacy of this is it's Victoria's Secret adjacent plus dominatrix.

9:56You know what I mean? Like it's giving everything. The fact that I thought all 50, I am not fucking exaggerating, 50 clasps that needed to be hooked together. The fact that I thought I could do this fucking high, God bless. I'm so fucking confident. But now I've been in the bathroom for actually 15 minutes and I'm starting to get really insecure. Is this the stupidest fucking idea ever? Like, is this lingerie even hot? Do I smell like BO right now? And I am not kidding you, Daddy Gang. I get to the point of tears. But then by some miracle, I get the 50th clasp closed. And I'm like, thank fucking God, let's fucking go.

10:37I rush out of the bathroom, huffing and puffing, sweating. Like, here I am! to return to only see that I had left this man on the couch, just reminder, with a hard on, and when I made my way through the doorway and I enter the room, I can see this man had completely dozed off. You know, when you try to pretend like, I wasn't asleep, I'm fine, I'm right here. I woke him from his slumber. So I'm standing in the living room, fully dressed in this lingerie, but his face isn't, I will say, giving the reaction I'm looking for because he's high and he was just asleep. And I can tell he's trying to get back in the mood.

11:12but he's trying to get back in the vibe. So I pick up his hands and I place them on my body. So I feel wanted. You know what I mean? I'm like, if he won't touch me, because he's literally like this, like limp. And I'm like taking his hands, I'm putting them on my body. Like I will do anything to, I'm going to make a move on my fucking self. Then I decided the only way to ramp it up is to get some momentum. And so I try to get some velocity. Like we got to, we got to wake up. Here we go. And I try to switch positions with this man to get his blood honestly pumping to really get his rate heart rate back up and we flip and we smash heads and it's game over like there is nothing worse when you clonk heads and or any type of like awkward thing happens during sex and we both basically are just like it's done it's done let's go to bed all I'm thinking about is just getting this fucking lingerie off so I go into the bathroom and I remove all 15 fucking pieces I walk back out into the living room and this man is fully asleep.

12:11I couldn't be more awake, okay? Absolute pure humiliation, frustration, emotional exhaustion, and I was just, it was just all flowing through my fucking veins and it's like 10 o 'clock at night, okay? There's not a chance I'm falling asleep anytime soon and I'm scrolling aimlessly through my DMs on Instagram. And remember, this, at this point, Call Her Daddy was alive and thriving. So my DMs were pretty lit. I had all of you, all the daddy gang up in my DMs. And as I am scrolling through the DMs, I come across a profile picture that I am a little familiar with. Because this ex of mine, as many of them did, he hit balls by day.

12:57And he, you know, spun webs of lies by night. Okay? Cheating on me was this man's kryptonite. So I didn't trust him in the past, right? I was in the know. Back when we were dating, if he was following a girl on Instagram, I was aware. I knew everything about her. And me having a photographic memory, being so fucking genius, I had every single girl basically that he followed, all their profile pictures committed to memory. You know? Kind of. Yeah, I did. Or I screenshotted all of them and I had an entire album about it. It's fine. Whatever. Anyways, I recognize this girl's picture as someone that my ex has followed and I decide to open her message because I'm like why is a girl that he follows messaging me I'm about to read you this DM word for word by this woman where's my phone let's just call my ex Tom hi it looks like you're at Tom's place in California I know because I was there last week visiting him hooking up with him in his weird Christian gray bedroom.

14:03Maybe you're okay with him sleeping with other people, but he made it very clear to me that he wanted nothing to do with you. So he's at least being dishonest to me. I'm not telling you this to upset you, but just so you are aware. She follows up and says, I'm also very mortified because we were making fun of all the odd naked photos in this house he was renting. And he told me that he wanted one of me. So I sent him a fucking framed one jokingly for Valentine's Day that just got delivered there today. while you're there. Perfect timing, LOL. So if he hasn't already picked it up, can you please just dispose of the package?

14:57This is so embarrassing. Imagine me sitting on the couch and we're like, what the fuck? And I'm staring at his fat head sleeping like, what the fuck is going on? Okay. Holy fucking shit. What a fucking nightcap to is already horrific fucking Valentine's Day. So I read this girl's DM and I know immediately, oh, I fucking love this bitch. Okay. We're right or dies already. Okay. She's talking about being embarrassed in her DMs to me. Sweetie, sweetie, don't worry. I got you covered. Okay. You can't be more embarrassed than me. Okay. I'm sure actually at this point he would actually fucking get hard to the side of your nude.

15:37Meanwhile, I just played with a soft little chubby for an hour. No, but honestly, it made me feel a lot better. I'm not going to lie. I'm like, oh, we should be fucking friends. So I respond to her and I say this, I say, no, do not be embarrassed. Sorry. I'm just seeing this now heart. We know we are both seeing other people. You have nothing to be embarrassed about at all. I'm sure he got the pick and loved it. Fire emoji. She then responds and says, thanks for being so cool about this. I'm still fuming Tom and I matched on Raya last summer and we have been talking and hooking up ever since I called him out on maybe still talking to you before and he made me feel crazy for even bringing you up.

16:20And he said, he literally wanted nothing to do with you and was quote, disgusted by you. So I'm just happy. My intuition is at least validated. I literally matched the staircase. This is how crazy fucking girls are. I love us. I literally matched the staircase from your story to the pics of the house that he rented for spring training that he sent me. Oh, I'm sorry to drag you into this and good for you for being open with him, I guess. But I was V into him and wanted to be in a relationship with him. So thank God I'm finding out he's a douche now and not down the line, wasting more of my time.

17:03I'm sure you're a great girl. It just sucks. Tom thinks he can outsmart us. Winky face. His dick is good, but like not that good to where he thinks he can have both of us on his roster. I'm like, babe, the dick didn't even get fucking hard. Okay. After reading this girl's message, I was moved. You know, if I were in her position, I would do literally anything to make sure this man did not have a fucking framed picture of my naked body after just absolutely realizing he was gaslighting me and lying straight to my face. He has no right to have the possession of that photo. He doesn't deserve this shit.

17:40And you know what? I was a little incentivized. You know what I mean? Because fuck him for calling me disgusting. I sit there twiddling my thumbs and I'm like, what if he hadn't gone through his mail today and opened the nude yet? What if this woman's nude was sitting 10 feet away from me, untouched? And if that is the case, I realized this situation in so many ways could not be better for me. Number one, I realize I'm not alone in my embarrassment tonight. Shout out to my girl. We're in this together. Number two, I could be a hero tonight. I could really turn things around. And I could put this woman out of her misery by destroying the photo evidence of her naked body that was sent under the pretense that he was a respectful and deserving man.

18:25And under the guise that Alex Cooper was in no way, shape, or form involved in his life. Wish I wasn't, buddy, but I was fucking back. Okay? Number three, this is without a doubt the most beautifully convenient way to deflect from my lingerie fail and to turn the tables on this man. He will be the one who is insecure. He will be the one pleading for forgiveness in the morning. He's going to wake up, hopefully, to me gone, she gone, no nude, and a fuck ton of pissed off messages from this girl in my DMs. So I say, okay, strap up your boots. Let's fucking go. I walk into the kitchen to where he has a pile of mail and packages sitting.

19:06And I begin to piece through them one by one, praying to fucking God I can find this package. And I remember I pull out, it's like a thick, one of those like thick white manila envelopes. And I find the package and it has her name on the return address. I open it because she gave me permission. I take out the framed photo. I quickly flip it on its back. You know, I want to be respectful. I don't want to see any nudes. How does this always fucking happen to me? How do I find myself in situations where I'm constantly having to dodge other women's nudes? Like, does this happen to any of you guys constantly?

19:43Let me know. Anyways, nudes find me. So I take her photo out of the frame and I rip it to fucking shreds and I dispose of the evidence. Girl, I got you, bitch. Okay, you're safe with Papa. Don't worry. And then Petty Alex enters the chat. No, man. No man will be suffocated within my labia and also say I'm disgusting to another woman. I fucking dare you, bitch. So I stare down at the empty frame and I take a post-it note that's on his kitchen counter and I take a pen and I write on this little post-it note, happy V-Day, love Alex and the girl's name. Let's say her name is fucking Tiffany. Okay.

20:24Heart, happy V-Day, love Alex and Tiffany. I put the post-it note in the frame. I put the frame back in the package. I toss it on the fucking counter. I grabbed my suitcase and my 15 fucking piece set of lingerie. And I realized it's time to go. And maybe he'll wake up in the morning. Maybe he will wake up and be like, was it all a dream? Like, did that actually happen? No, it didn't. You never saw me struggle. You never saw me in lingerie. You never saw me. Okay. So I call an Uber and I head to the fucking four seasons where I book myself a hotel for the night. I deserved it. Okay. My dignity couldn't handle anything below five fucking stars.

21:03I put my paycheck down. I said, get me the nicest fucking room. And so I ended my Valentine's day in a hotel room alone with a bottle of wine, a pizza, and my vibrator. So daddy gang, if that is you right now alone with a pizza, some wine, maybe some booze, a vibrator, some weed. Let me just say, at least you didn't have to go through the journey that I did to realize that sometimes there is no better company than yourself. Something I also just want to put out for all my girls out there is like the amount of effort we sometimes go for men. They are so fucking lucky and it makes me so sad for my younger self, even thinking of myself, like sitting and panicking in that bathroom.

21:57Like, oh my God, like I can't see it. Like, let him know that I'm struggling. Like I want it to be this grand reveal. The fact that I was even insecure at all with this man, like I knew he wasn't the right guy. If roles were reversed and this ever fucking happened with Matt, I would come out cracking up being like, babe, you need to help me. I can't get this fucking thing on. We would laugh about it. He would make me be like, oh my God, take it off. I don't even want it on you. let's fuck like you look so fucking hot like there's just a difference of like men you should never feel fucking insecure with men especially when you're fucking trying to do something for them that's gonna like spice it up and you're trying to be fun like it's all good intention why did I even feel insecure around this man yeah that was the first fucking step as to like he wasn't the one or maybe the fact that he had cheated on me multiple times but like you know what I mean never let a man make you feel insecure okay we're the superior ones so daddy gang pour yourself a glass of wine.

22:51Who's at the door? I think we have a special guest. One second.

22:59Who could it be? Harry!

23:21Oh, holy shit. I'm so happy you just randomly came over. What were you doing over here? I just, you know what? I'm part of the Unwell Network now, so I just thought, you know what? I'm just going to come over whenever the fuck I want. Harry, we're only supposed to see each other once a year for our podcast together on Call Her Daddy. Yeah, the thing is you signed me now, so here I am, bitch. Let's go. Happy Valentine's Day. Guys, this was supposed to be a solo episode, but how can we deny when Harry Jossie shows up with pizza and sparkly pants? Yeah, how cool are these? It's so cool. Wait, why is everyone wearing these jewelries now?

23:51What is that? I don't know. Okay, so I bought one for Riley. How much is that? These were a lot. But I bought one for Riley, but I picked this one out first. I'm like, oh, this could be kind of nice for her. Wait, let's tell the story of you getting me a gift and Matt. Oh, do you want to tell that one? We haven't even told that story yet. No, I don't even know if I was allowed to post it. Yeah, let's talk about it. Okay, so you guys, I'm doing Pilates at my house for like one time every year. And I'm on the Pilates Report Rumor. And I get a text from Harry right when we signed him for the Unwalled Network.

24:14and Harry's like I have a gift for you and Matt can I come over and I'm like oh I'm in the middle of working out and he's like oh my god I didn't know you worked out I'm like yeah I'm trying the wedding's coming up so then Harry's like okay I'll just come by like don't worry like you don't even need to see me and I'm like I'll see you Harry what's going on Harry rolls up in his obnoxious Lambo you thought I was she thought I was dropping off candles I thought it was gonna be like candles or like I don't know like something just like little to be like thanks for signing me like great relationship can't wait to do business together now you take it from there oh yeah so I bought these two matching Louis Vuitton like travel bags because I thought these would be really nice okay but I did start at a Birkin and then it was like 50 grand and I'm like why I was like I don't even know if you like those guys we need to post the photo right now he rolls up in his orange Lambo and he pops the trunk and I'm with my friend Kazzy and Kazzy's like what the fuck this is what happens she almost took them she's like I'll take them I was like Harry what are you doing I literally was like Harry Matt and I are trying to like advise you like save your money no spend it all spend 110 % of what you make we literally sign harry and the next day he buys two lv bags there's my signing bonus and he got them engraved and everything and literally your signing bonus you just gave it right back to me so we'll post the picture but it was so cute so thank you for the gift like it he hates it no he loves it but i actually used his black one to travel to london you did because i think like the black one is like sleeker if i want to be like if i want to be showy then i'll do like the classic okay i'll go get you another one sweet thanks guys so thank you for the gift thank you for the career saving opportunity wait did you read the comments today how are people reacting well there was one girl there was this one bitch was her name angie fucking angie like 10 comments every 30 seconds something different something about hating me or whatever else and then now i'm seeing some girls in the comments being like i don't know if we can we can like support harry i'm like no i do yeah no i do yeah you guys don't know anything no and you don't need to you don't have a network and if you do you didn't sign him i signed him it's my network i want harry on the network she's the boss so fuck off fuck you edgy edgy i'll give you charity cock it's valentine's day edgy fuck it dm me okay so harry that is why you're here we are here to help the daddy gang yes everyone that's in a healthy happy relationship you're not the focus today yeah fuck you fuck me yeah But that's the point.

26:34I don't need to be like coddled today. We need to help the people that are single feeling like a tiny bit down today. Yeah, that's me. You're single. Talk to me about what you're going to be doing this Valentine's Day. So Valentine's Day, I'm just going to be playing with myself a lot. And I think, Daddy Gang, if you have a rose toy, run yourself a nice little bath. Put that leg up. Get that little like, what is it, shower head. Get in there. Like give yourself a massage. Like I think that's the best way to go. Buy yourself chocolate. Like fuck it. I'm going to be hanging out with my dog. I'm gonna be having a great day eating chocolate.

27:03He's not allowed it because he'll die. But if you're gonna, look, fuck everyone in a relationship. They suck. Today is singles day. If you are single right now and you're annoyed that you couldn't find a good boy. Yeah. Harry is your boy. Well. Boyfriend material. I'm for everyone. Don't do it. You're literally for everyone. Well, I am now. Yeah. Okay. So you're basically saying to the girls, masturbate, have a good time. Who gives a fuck? If anything, he couldn't even do it as better as you can do it yourself. Exactly. That's the thing. I've actually been watching a lot of YouTube videos on that.

27:32Oh, wait, what? Only fans or YouTube videos? No, YouTube videos. Because there's this sex expert. I was like, I'm curious because now I've got to be talking about for my ladies. So I should probably know a lot more. And this lady was talking about going down on a go and being a little bit more attentive. I was like, yeah, you know what? Girls actually aren't coming. I love that you're watching YouTube videos instead of porn. This is good, Harry. I'm leveling up. You're leveling up. You're leveling away from like the like toxic masculinity of just like, and you're actually focusing on like the delicate flower of the clit.

28:05Oh, little bean. Little hooded bean. Wait, you know what's so funny is today I was reminiscing since we did just sign you. I was like looking through all of our old things. Are you still eating ass? See, I was trying to do that for a little bit. Like I just thought it was a good branding play. But then I was like, I'm like, this is really gross. because I okay daddy gang there was a few nights where I got a little bit drunk and I'm like you know Jay Alvarez's sex tape with like the oil and I'm like he's like the branding was like really nice I'm like you know I want to have some branding like that where everyone's like everyone knows you as the ass eater yeah I was like you know what this guy sucked my toes and he ate my ass and then left so I did it two nights like after a couple big nights out and then this one night was with this famous girl I went home I ate her ass I'm like I'm like Robin Hood Harry you know It just reminded me, Daddy Gang, do you remember last episode when I asked you who was the most famous person you had fucked?

28:56That went nuts. Harry, I had multiple celebrities call me saying, I will exchange tea for you. I will tell you something about this person. Really? If you tell me who the fuck Harry Jossie fucked. I'll fuck them. No. I'm like, why don't you actually just fuck him and he'll tell you. Come over. Dude, it was so crazy. Everyone wanted to know. Yeah, I was getting like hounded. People thought it was. I think it's better that we never tell anyone. Yeah. Whose ass were you eating? No, I can't say that. Well, tell it to me and then I'll bleep it. No, really? You promise? What did I do last time? What?

29:28What? No one knows that. Only two people on the planet know that. Only two people on the planet know that. I know. I would get so in trouble. This is... This is... I should have told you this last time. This is more insane than the last fucking episode. It was so bad. No, it wasn't bad. It was great, but like I just don't know what how many times have you hooked up with her never no I just ate her ass it disappeared like Batman if people heard that name. I know and I didn't bleep it I know I'm mad. I want to be very daddy gang. I'm making eye contact with the camera. I am not exaggerating That name is crazier than the name you first gave me when we had the other podcast I don't know why I was so drunk and I thought it was a good idea.

30:14I should I'm surprised she hooked up with you What? What? Are you serious? No, I feel like... I feel like... I feel like... Whoa! What? I'm a cat. Look at my bracelets. I got an orange car. Look at my sparkly pants. You wouldn't let this eat your ass? Come on. Harry, I just feel like you guys are so not... I know! I don't know how it happened. It was a funny night. I feel like you're not like a similar vibe to each other. No. At all. Okay, so we're going to read some daddy gang questions. Oh, yeah. Actually, they're not questions. They're stories. Okay. And these people are kind of writing in their horror stories from Valentine's Day.