Dealing With Body Image Insecurities

0:02What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with call her daddy. Hello, Daddy Gang. It is your founding father, Alex Cooper. Back at it again for another episode of Call Her Daddy. Hello, Daddy Gang. Happy Sunday. I am so happy to be here. I'm going to try to do this a video episode. I'm in a room in my house right now. I want to start doing solos with video more, but at my house, I don't have my tech equipment, so I'm trying to use my vlog camera and I apologize if you hear the little chain noises Bruce just ate dinner so he's really feeling himself oh and he's growling oh and he's barking Bruce we're in the middle of a pod relax take a nap I'll see you in 30.

1:10so I was just scrolling on my phone I was downstairs in my kitchen and I'm scrolling I think I was on tiktok or fucking instagram that's about about to be a point of the story that I can't even tell you what fucking app I was on I'm scrolling I'm scrolling and all of a sudden my phone dies and my first knee-jerk reaction was like holy fuck get a charger like I love how it's also dramatic like I'm not on the phone with someone important like I'm just scrolling endlessly as I have been for the past few hours. And so at first, my reaction was, Oh, my God, grab a charger. And then that was like for two fucking not even two seconds.

1:43And then all of a sudden, I was like, this is fucking great. This is great. This is so good that my phone died. Because apparently I don't have the strength and I don't have the ability to stop myself and cut myself off and be like, Hey, you've been on your phone too long. And so I'm sitting there eating my fucking tuna Tuna salad, which I feel like, I feel like people hate tuna salad. I actually feel like people get a really bad rap. The people that rep, rap. I feel like people don't like when people like tuna salad. And I'm here to admit today, and maybe it's embarrassing, although I don't know why it would be, is mayonnaise embarrassing?

2:20Is that like a premier condiment? Like mayo. I like mayo, mustard, ketchup, ranch, chipotle, aioli. Like I like it all. Fuck off. And I like tuna so mix it together so I was eating my tuna fish and once my phone died I just sat in the kitchen alone in silence eating my fucking tuna salad and I know this is like okay what's the big deal I'm just like been really annoyed with myself lately because I feel like I've been on my phone way too fucking much and I've been trying to adjust a couple things in my life lately to just light alterations to make myself a little happier. So once my phone was dead, I just decided to spend time with myself.

3:08Ooh, what a concept. And I have now had my phone dead for an hour. Now, some of you may be wondering, you know, like, what if someone needs to get ahold of you? I don't fucking care. I really, I'm so over my fucking phone right now. I really don't care if someone needs to get ahold of me. If they really need to, they'll figure it out. I don't know how because Matt's out of town. Yeah, let's do a little life update. Okay. Aside from me being addicted to my fucking phone, which is not an original concept, I think fucking probably everyone listening to this is addicted to their phone. This is just a gently reminder, you can have some strength and you can have some say over your life to stop looking at your phone.

3:45It doesn't, you know, it doesn't need to be a 24 seven thing, even though that's literally my life right now. So current updates of my life, Matt is out of town. He's in Europe and he is starting filming a movie soon so he's with the director and they are going and they're scouting locations and they're just kind of finalizing everything because they just signed new actors to be on this movie and so he has to go to Europe and I was going to go with him but something in me last minute was like you know what I'm gonna stay the fuck home I'm a homebody I love being home I love being with my dogs being with my fiance being with friends and family but like I just I love being home and I fucking love spending time alone and I just saw it as an opportunity because I have to go to Europe for work next month I figured you know what spend a week alone with yourself and really try to like implement these healthy fucking things that you're trying to do into your life while you're alone you have no distractions and what are these healthy things that I'm trying to do with my life.

4:52I have a really bad tendency of going through waves of working out for like a month and then taking three to four months off and I'll go super hard for a month and I'm like, okay, I'm back. Like, let's go. Like I'll do Pilates. I'm going to like down to the gym, like whatever it is. And then I will, I will fucking drop off and I'm not kidding for like five fucking months. And I just went through a period of not working out for five months and I just feel like shit about myself I'm like what what what could I be doing that's so important over working out just moving my body a little bit like I've been having neck problems because I'm fucking editing all day sitting at my computer I'm like why can't I just get up in the morning Mac gets up every single fucking morning and works out why can I not get up with him and go work out and I don't have the answer I think for a while my answer was like because of everything that happened in college with like working out and soccer I was like taking a break and I like just it triggered me now it's been how many fucking years since I graduated college like bitch get on the fucking treadmill actually I hate the fucking treadmill and never get on the treadmill but you know what I'm saying like go work out at least move your fucking body and so I try I'm trying right now to start with doing two workouts a week and I'm doing them not alone so I'm trying to either do them with a friend or with Matt.

6:14And so far, I have done it for two weeks straight. And I'm really proud of myself. I feel better. I feel like I have more energy already. Maybe that's actually not true. But I'm making it up. I'm tricking myself into believing this is making me happy so that I keep fucking doing it. I'm also just trying to be better with waking up early in the morning and doing my workout and then finding time at some point throughout the week to not watch TV before I go to bed, but to actually read a fucking book. And this is the worst. I'm really just trying to stop looking at my fucking phone all the time. So there's a couple little tweaks that we're trying to make.

6:56And I'm feeling I'm feeling better. But yeah, I think the point is I'm happy my phone is dead because I don't want to look at my phone and I feel like it makes me upset how like how much our phones are a part of our lives now like I'm so sick of being more focused on my phone and on social media aka focusing and looking at other people's lives and actually being present in my own fucking life. And I know this is like a conversation that everyone fucking has every day. But it was just on my mind that I'm like, damn, I don't know the last time that I was happy that my phone was dead. And I guess that's a great sign.

7:45That just means like I'm finally actually listening to myself of like, get off your fucking phone. Enjoy the people around you make efforts. How about that? Like some nights I'm like, no, I'll just stay in. And it's like, would you stay in if your phone was dead? No, you'd fucking go out because you would be bored. And it's like, oh, when's the last time I actually played a movie and watched the whole movie without looking at my phone? When's the last time that I didn't go on social media for a whole day? How about that? Can't tell you. Cannot tell you. So, you know, not trying to be depressing, but just food for thought.

8:19What else is happening? I went to my friend's birthday party last night, which was very fun. Oh, that's another thing I've been trying to do. I don't, what is happening to me I don't know but um I'm trying to drink less and I'm not saying I'm not drinking but I am so sick of waking up hungover and feeling anxious and depressed and weird and just not good about myself and for the past couple weekends I have made a conscious effort to not have that third martini or to not have that fourth whiskey. I can genuinely feel a very big difference in my life. I'm like actually happier when I wake up and I'm not hung over.

9:03That's not a fucking hot take, but it's just me realizing I feel like I've been drinking a lot lately. I go to a lot of dinners during the week. I'm going to dinners on the weekends and I'm like, wait, I almost drink every single fucking night that I'm going out. So I'm almost drinking like four nights a week. And for the most part, I would say three times I'm waking up hungover. And I don't like it. And I don't like the way it's making my body feel. And so I've tried to drink less. So I went to my friend's birthday party. And I only had one tequila and I purposefully drove to her birthday party, because I knew it would hold me accountable to not drink.

9:40So I had one drink at the very beginning of the night. And then I didn't drink for the rest of the many hours of the party and I had a great time and I don't know if anyone has not played charades in a really long time but just a reminder charades like the best fucking game ever but I woke up that was last night and I woke up this morning and I was so fucking happy that I didn't that I didn't really drink I promise isn't like a whole gonna be a whole episode I'm gonna also do questions I'm gonna answer your questions we're gonna lift lift up a little bit but I'm just kind of ranting about things that are happening in my life.

10:15I'm really happy. It's just certain things I'm like becoming more conscious of and I am not happy about them. That's life, right? We're all fucking unwell. Life's fucking great. I'm going to open some questions of the week because you guys were writing into me and you guys have some really, really great questions. And since my phone is dead and I, you have my full attention, not that you don't usually, but you know. Okay. Someone said can you do a new episode on body issues how to better view our bodies in a positive way girl

11:03girl girl girl

11:08I think this is such a hard topic because it's never going to be we're never going to fully solve it and I understand that some people struggle more than others but I don't know anyone that I've ever met that doesn't struggle with body image. I don't. I think everyone is so insecure about something. And I know I am I could literally list 10 things in a fucking millisecond to you that I hate about myself or I'm insecure about that I've worked to like. And I think that it's really, really hard because especially as women, we really struggle because obviously, we've been fucking taught from such a young age that like most of our worth even though no one says it we're taught it is built up in the way we look and you have literally you can like gain social equity if you look a certain way and you like you're a certain thinness or you're like whatever it is um I think I really have struggled and I also want to say that I again we all struggle in different ways but I think what's helped me work through things that I hate about myself I need to stop saying hate about myself but it's true like I don't want to like I don't want to sugarcoat it like that's the truth I'm sure everyone feels that way you can look in the mirror and someone standing next to you would be like what are you talking about and you're like what what do you mean like you don't notice this we're all our own worst critics I think we all want to be liked and we want to feel happy with the way we're presenting and we want to feel confident in ourselves but it's really really really fucking hard when you keep looking to your left and your right and you're comparing yourselves like comparing comparison is not just about looks it's in every fucking facet of life but specifically with looks for women every fucking 10 years decade there's a new fucking body image that someone needs to conform to like I remember oh my this is the most embarrassing story I remember being in high school and I remember these guys making fun of me because I had no butt and it was any dress on day I would wear sweatpants to like cover up my like tiny disgusting in my mind skinny, gross, bony legs that people would make fun of me for.

13:45And I had no butt. And I remember these boys, like this junior and senior, mind you, I'm like probably a sophomore. And this group of guys gather around. They're like, look, look, like she's got no butt. And this is so fucking embarrassing, but I'm just going to say it. I will never forget it. I was standing in the student center and there was a table near us. And as they're like, wait, look, look at her butt. So the guys are going to try to get a view of my butt I fall to the ground I go underneath the table and pretend that I dropped my fucking pen and I was looking for my pen and they're like Cooper what are you doing and I'm like oh sorry I've dropped hold on I dropped my pen and then I just scooted out under the table then I just sat on the floor and started texting and like they didn't equate it to the fact that I was so insecure that they were making fun of my lack of because that was the era of like butt and like hips and like hourglass and I'm like every fucking body is beautiful but when you are not at the certain standard I get it listen I have a naturally like I hate talking about body but like I think it's really important to say that my I'm I my mother genetically is very thin and has to like try to eat a certain amount a day in order to stay healthy because she has a hard time gaining weight I understand that's the most infuriating fucking thing for some people to hear I get it the other people on the spectrum that have this problem and have been made fun of their whole life for looking anorexic or being called malnourished like you get it we all fucking are struggling whatever and so I naturally am it's genetics that I'm thinner and I understand that I'm like I should be really happy and blessed for that and I am but it doesn't negate the fact that when I was younger and still to this day like people will make comments about your body and we hate we all hate a part of our fucking body right we all want to change something and so no one is 100 % happy with their fucking body um and I just remember that day I was so insecure and and for the rest of my days in high school I wore sweatpants and oh my no this is the most embarrassing thing here you go I'm just fucking telling it all I after I started wearing sweatpants every fucking time to dress on days even if it was fucking summer and I was sweating and I was so uncomfortable and I went on fucking I don't even think there was Amazon at the time so I went on like eBay no are you guys fucking ready for this one here you go because I tell you guys everything and I want to fucking die um I went on Amazon and I ordered like um spandex shorts that had built in butt pads yep never thought I'd share this I don't think I've ever told anyone this here you go and I know it sounds so fucking stupid but when you have guys that you are like when you're in social settings you can't deny the fact that you want people to I wanted those guys to be attracted to me I wanted them to like me and and talk about me like the other girls they talked about were hot so naturally when you're getting so verbally bullied about something they're like look at her she's got no ass like and all the time it was when I was playing soccer on the soccer field here you go I would fucking switch sides I would ask my coach if I could play on certain sides and I would like make an excuse of why I would need to play there so I could be farthest away from the student like stand section I was closer to just like the women's side with all of the players because I was so insecure being in shorts with my legs and my butt when I was playing in high school near all the guys and then club soccer when it was just all the girls I didn't care because it was just like whatever but there was like a social insecurity and I was so bullied for it that I was like I hate I hate it I hate it I hate it and again I understand that like everyone has their one thing I'm just sharing this so you understand I'm not I'm not saying that my issues are similar to anyone else's I'm just sharing because I made so I could literally talk for this entire fucking episode about ways that I have adjusted in moments to try to hide myself and to be and to just try to distract away from the thing that I was getting called out for for my body.

18:19And I think it's just fucking disgusting specifically for women. How many fucking people are fixated on our bodies and feel comfortable commenting on our fucking bodies. And it's, it's really disheartening because you would think we've gotten better, but I actually just think it's gotten worse because of social media and people just feel that they can comment on, oh she's gotten this done oh she's gotten that done like it's just it's so detrimental to people's health and oh you look skinnier oh you're looking fatter oh you're looking there's no winning there's no winning and so what I have started to try to do in therapy is work on daddy gang listen to me no one is ever ever ever going to make you feel beautiful seen happy with every single thing about your body make you feel like you're good enough except for you.

19:15So until we actually start to be like, you know what, I'm gonna fucking rock the fact that I am this, this, this or this. And I'm good with it. Because this is what I refuse to do is it almost goes back. I don't know if I love this like example. But it's like when you see older people in their 80s, in their 90s and their 70s and whatever when you when you listen to these people and looks fucking fade right I don't want to look back and be like I didn't go to parties I didn't go to certain events because I was so insecure about something looks wise like actually think about that we are not living our best happiest lives because our body is making us feel like we can't walk into a room that we want to walk into but because we're so insecure about something about our look or our body we're not going to go somewhere we want to go because we're afraid of what other people are going to fucking think what the fuck what the fuck it it makes me so sad because I look at my younger self and I'm like there are certain days like I remember um oh my god I would always try to play sick on days of what the fuck was it called a field day when I was in middle school and trust me I was so I'm like I'm an athlete so like I wanted so badly to participate in field day it's when like you do all those different activities and the whole school participates and it's like tug of war and like water balloon tosses but it's in the middle of fucking almost the summer and no one would be caught dead with fucking sweatpants on they would be like do you like what why why why you'd get bullied for wearing fucking sweatpants and I remember being so fucking sad because I would fake sick every year on field day almost because I didn't want to fucking go and have to be in the gym shorts and get made fun of and it's like what what and I think what I what my other thing is like with working with body image is like okay if I can look back at that younger self that didn't do things she wanted to do where are those people now like who gives a fuck at the fucking guys that were making fun of me like why did I care so much I get it because that was my social circle and those are the people that were I was valuing myself in like my social equity of like where am I on the scale of like whatever but it's like at the end of the day we in order to actually be good with ourselves we have to stop giving a fuck about what others are viewing of us like we have to and it's this is like we could do 10 hundred million episodes on this this is like ingrained from the start and again for women it's like how will we ever feel good about our bodies when men just have historically objectified us like I was having a conversation and Minnie is going to come out um in a few weeks about like you literally like can get or don't get a job based off of like your weight as a woman like and no one would say it but you fucking know it like I have spoken to I have spoken to women that are like I know for a fact because I was this weight like I got the job or I didn't get the job and it's like I got into the club because I was it's like it's so disgusting and no one ever fucking does that to a man.

22:40I just said never. I don't want to say never, but like for the most part, that's not happening to a man. It's the same fucking thing when men are not considered unattractive. If they have a fucking beer belly because they've got whatever else they have going because they have the masculine energy and they've got, you know, money or status or whatever the fuck it is, or even if they don't, they're not considered ugly. But we as women, oh my God, you're not even desirable if you don't have, you know what I mean? It's like, it just um it just sucks and so I just want to validate anyone that's listening if you have been struggling in any capacity with your body image and feeling comfortable with yourself I see you I understand you and I I want you to start feeling better and so yeah it's I thought I was gonna fucking have a fun episode and I just came in here and I'm like we're doing therapy but it's um it's something that I I feel you and I don't have the answers I I know I come on here and I'm trying to give obviously advice but like I don't have all the answers I'm just hoping that if I'm talking about this you guys can relate maybe have a thought and I would love you guys to write in if what's worked for you with body image I think we're too hard on ourselves as women we're trying to do too much we can't we can't love ourselves and try to please everyone else we just can't and so we have to choose one and I hope daddy gang because this is I'm going to work on it.

24:26You're going to work on it. We got to fucking choose ourselves. I think we have full control to the way we talk to ourselves, the people we surround ourselves with, the things that we choose to ingest content wise on social media, in movies, in television shows, the things that we choose to read the things we allow to stop us from being happy like that really is on us and what's exciting about that see trying to ramp up the party here not to leave you guys all with the fucking sunday scaries jesus christ um what's exciting about that is we don't have to fucking rely oh I just lost the fucking video sorry guys we don't have to rely on anyone else we don't we don't have to rely on anyone else to fulfill us to make us happy to fucking give us what we need we have to start with ourselves and we have to stop looking for fucking outside validation we have to stop letting social media dictate our worth we have to stop letting social media everything from fuck body image for a second if you're not out on a Friday night and people are posting and you feel like a loser that you're in like we're letting other people dictate how we fucking live our lives and if we wake up when we're fucking 70 60 80 whatever the fuck I don't want us to look back and be like why the fuck did I not live my life authentically and happy because all the people that I was insecure about and feeling like I couldn't go to the party because this or I didn't want to post on social media because this person where are they half the time, you don't even know the people that you're insecure by.

26:15You know what I mean? Like, these people don't matter. And if you have someone in your life that's making you feel insecure, that is a person that matters to you, you are hanging out with the wrong people. You are not surrounding yourself with people that are going to actually help you live a happier life. And as I'm saying this, I'm preaching to myself, because this is something I'm working on right now. And I want all of you to obviously do whatever the fuck you want but I hope this maybe helps a little bit of like it's a little scary obviously when things are stressful of like it's out of our control of course some things are out of our control but the way that we feel about ourselves it it is in our control daddy gang there's certain things that we can fucking do to make at least lightly alleviate some of that pain that we're feeling and a lot of the pain comes from external forces so cut it the fuck out get off your fucking phone stop scrolling and comparing this and this and this today stop go read a fucking book journal relax go for a fucking walk hang out with a friend call a fucking family member okay I need to stop I love you guys and I don't know if this I'm not even gonna say that I think this is important to talk about and I hope that this was able to resonate with some of you and I also am so open to comments on this topic or if you want me to keep talking about it or even if you have any advice for the daddy gang of what's worked for you I would fucking love that because I think it's like if we can all fucking help each other it's gonna get fucking better but we gotta start there so I love you guys and um yeah i will see you fuckers next wednesday goodbye