Demi Lovato (FBF)

28 Jun 2024 · 45 min

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Call Her Daddy Podcast Episode Summary: Demi Lovato (FBF)

Episode Overview In this episode of *Call Her Daddy*, host Alex Cooper sits down with singer and actress Demi Lovato. They delve into Demi's personal experiences as a child star on the Disney Channel, the pressures of fame, and her journey through mental health challenges, relationships, and recovery. This candid conversation covers various adult topics, including emotional abuse, eating disorders, substance abuse, and self-discovery.

Key Themes and Topics Discussed

  1. Turning 30 and Self-Discovery
  2. Demi reflects on her journey to adulthood, expressing anxiety about turning 30 due to a tumultuous decade filled with personal struggles.
  3. Emphasis on the societal pressure of figuring life out by 30; Demi advocates for embracing one’s 20s as a time for mistakes and learning.
  1. Childhood and Early Fame
  2. Discussion on Demi's early start in entertainment, from beauty pageants to acting on *Barney* and eventually landing roles on Disney Channel.
  3. The impact of her parents' divorce, particularly the absence of her biological father due to mental illness and addiction.
  1. Struggles with Body Image and Eating Disorders
  2. Demi discusses the influence of her mother’s eating disorder and the toxic environment of beauty pageants on her self-esteem.
  3. Notable mention of her struggles with depression and the onset of suicidal ideations from a young age.
  1. Bullying and Peer Relationships
  2. Demi recounts experiences of bullying in school, particularly during her rise to fame, and how it propelled her to focus more on her music as an escape.
  3. Highlights a significant incident where she faced extreme bullying at school, which led her to be homeschooled.
  1. Disney Experience and Purity Rings
  2. Demi shares insights into the pressures of being a Disney star, including the expectation to act as a role model.
  3. Reflects on the absurdity of purity rings and the culture surrounding them within the Disney community.
  1. Management Control and Brainwashing
  2. Demi reveals how extreme control from her management regarding her personal life, choices, and even food exacerbated her mental health challenges.
  3. She describes a "brainwashing" dynamic, leading her to conform to expectations at the cost of her own well-being.
  1. Substance Abuse and Recovery
  2. Discusses her early introduction to substance use, beginning with prescription pills after a car accident.
  3. Details her struggle with addiction and how she sought help following an overdose, emphasizing the support she received from loved ones.
  1. Musical Evolution and New Album
  2. Demi introduces her new album, *Holy Fuck*, discussing its emotional depth and personal significance.
  3. The album reflects a journey from anger to self-acceptance and love, showcasing her growth and resilience.
  1. Relationships and Dating
  2. Demi opens up about her current relationship, emphasizing the importance of laughter and connection in a partner.
  3. She highlights the challenges of dating while pursuing a demanding career as a performer.

Key Takeaways

  • Emotional Honesty: Demi's journey reflects the importance of acknowledging and addressing mental health issues.
  • Empowerment: Through her struggles, Demi emphasizes the significance of finding one's voice and self-empowerment.
  • Understanding Fame: The conversation sheds light on the harsh realities of fame, particularly for child stars, and the toll it can take on mental health.

Resources Mentioned

  • Information and support for domestic abuse, eating disorders, and substance abuse are provided, encouraging listeners to seek help if needed.

Conclusion This episode serves as a powerful reminder of the complexities surrounding fame, mental health, and personal identity. Demi Lovato's openness about her struggles and triumphs offers hope and inspiration to many listeners navigating similar challenges.

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Transcript

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0:28It's a bop. up daddy gang it is your founding father Alex Cooper with call her daddy Demi Lovato welcome to call her daddy thank you it is such an honor to have you here and I want to say it's a big deal you're here for many reasons oh my god thank you of course but I've had sometimes people like come on if they're like a fan of the show but you are the first person I have ever had on call her daddy whose mom is a fan of Call Her Daddy. Shout out Demi's mom. Yes. My mom loves this podcast. And she was like, you have to say hi. I was like, of course. We are recording this just before your 30th birthday.

1:10Yes. Leo season. What does turning 30 mean to you? Turning 30, what it means to me is like, to be honest, I've had a little anxiety. My 20s were like such a mess. Like I was trying to figure myself out. I didn't know who I was a lot of shit happened and then I kind of like over the past couple years have eased into who I am and then this year I'm like oh I know who I am so turning 30 to me has been like I'm excited for my 30s and what that holds I love that and I really want to normalize that because I feel like there's such pressure in society of like when you hit 30 like figure it out and it's like what the fuck no 20s are meant to do all the fuck ups and then 30s is when it's like let me come into my own and really figure myself yes exactly I love that thank you

2:17You were one of the voices of our generation. I started listening to your music in middle school, crying up against the window. Did you forget? Like fully singing. All my heart breaks. I'm like curled up with Demi. I feel like I already know you. Like truly, it's been a roller coaster. I feel like I've literally known you for so long and I still love your fucking music. Oh, thank you. Were you always a natural performer? I think that performer. No, I wasn't always a natural performer. I had some like adjusting that I had to do over time. I started performing on tour with Jonas Brothers when I was 15.

2:56And so and I went from my first show in June of like 20 2008. It had like 100 people to July. My first show with the Jonas Brothers was 18 ,000 people. so I had to like learn how to perform on these massive stages and it was super intimidating I was so nervous but like I figured it out and I found my groove um but I have always been a vocalist like you know singing has always come natural to me my first time singing on stage was when I was like five and at my talent show in kindergarten what did you sing Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On, which is like one of the hardest songs to sing. But I was like, yeah, I'm going to tackle that.

3:41I was just about to say Demi. I'm like thinking like, ooh, like maybe like a pop song. She's like Celine Dion. Like what's that? I'm like Demi, you just go right for the most iconic singer, hardest song to sing. Like classic. Okay. So someone had a little confidence back then. There you go. I love that. Yeah. And my mom like also, I was raised with like Aretha Franklin and vocalists like that. And then when I started learning vocalists that were in the era of when I was growing up, it was Christina Aguilera and Kelly Clarkson. And those were the singers that I gravitated to because they did things with their voices that I couldn't.

4:20And I wanted to learn how. So I made it my mission and was like, whoever is really, really talented, I want to do what they do. And so I just sang and sang and sang my little heart out until I could hit the same notes as them. And then you eventually absolutely got there. So for someone watching this, kind of going back to your childhood a little bit. Yeah. To kind of paint the picture, you're growing up and your parents split when you were really young. Did your biological dad have any input when you began working as a kid? No. So my biological dad, he was mentally ill and had a lot of addiction problems.

4:59And so he wasn't really in my life at all. I mean, I was the one that would reach out and call him, but like he was really sick mentally. And so over the years, I slowly stopped reaching out and calling him because he was so sick. It was hard to have conversations with him. He was schizophrenic and he had delusions. And so our conversations went from, how are you? I miss you. To I'm doing a movie with Steven Spielberg and Jodie Foster's my girlfriend. And I'm like, okay, we like can't talk anymore. And so I guarded myself from that relationship. And he didn't have a say, but he was proud. He was really proud.

5:45When I would talk to him, he was really proud. and there was a lot to be proud for technically your start in the business was you started in pageants right yes I started in beauty pageants when I was seven and my first like big win was mini miss Texas yeah that was my introduction and then from there I got an acting coach and I started doing acting in your documentary simply complicated your mom who was a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader she acknowledges her emphasis on being skinny and being perfect affected you yeah how did your mom's opinion about herself affect your opinion about yourself well look my mom had an eating disorder and so naturally someone that's in their eating disorder who isn't aware of it can pass on things to their child and so I put a lot of pressure on myself and in the beauty pageants to look a certain way.

6:45I mean, I'm going to go on the record here and say like beauty pageants are awful for children's self-esteem. And like they teach you to ignore your emotions until you go to your hotel room and that's when you can cry it out. And it was this toxic environment of like who's more beautiful and things like that. And at such a young age, it confuses you. And so over the years, I developed my own eating disorder. And that bled into my career as well. When you're performing, you have to be OK. You got to go up there. You got to put a smile on your face. Got to make everyone else feel great. But that's not how you felt on the inside.

7:26What do you remember depression feeling like as a seven-year-old? As a seven-year-old, when my depression started to kick in, And it was more of like this fascination of death. And for some reason, I had this like understanding that life was only going to get more difficult. And so I had suicidal ideations from age of seven. So much so that like my school called my parents and they had me sign like this contract saying that I wouldn't do anything to myself. And so I entered therapy and guidance counseling at the school at seven years old. And, you know, it's something that I still deal with occasionally.

8:13And I just think it's a part of it's just something that I've learned to accept and manage. Yeah. When your parents got that call and you got into therapy, was there like regular check ins? and because you were working also at the time at a young age like was there a regimen of like checking in on Demi and making sure she was okay? I was so young that I don't really remember and I remember the the person that actually saw the contract was my great-grandmother because I was I went to her house afterwards and she was like well please don't do that like are you okay and and so yeah there's probably check-ins but I don't really remember them because I was so young.

8:56What was your peer dynamic when you were in school? My peer dynamic when I was in school was difficult. You know, I was thrown from being on Barney where I homeschooled for like a year. Then I went back to school and I'd actually learned more when I was homeschooling to where like when I went back to school, I was like helping her show the class like this is what I've learned and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But when I went back to school, you know, there was a lot of drama. There was a lot of it was the the sixth grade, seventh grade drama. That's the worst. It's the absolute worst with preteen girls.

9:33They're just mean. That age is when like I personally know like bullying started. Yes. Like that is the worst fucking age. That's when it all goes down. What were you bullied for? So there was this whole incident where the main week that I was bullied, I had actually gotten the opportunity. I was already performing at like, you know, USO bases and like little car dealerships here and there that would have like festivals and whatever. I had the opportunity to open for Jojo, the singer. And this was when Get Out Leave was like on top of the charts. And as a preteen, we're all like, go Jojo because she's our age, right?

10:17Absolutely. so anyways she I had the opportunity to open for her and I invited one of the girls that was in my clique of friends and I got the opportunity to go backstage and meet her after I opened for her and the other girl didn't and I used her camera it was like this disposable camera um and when I got back to school she gave me all the pictures from the show but the one of me and Jojo was missing and I was like where did that one go and she was like oh it just didn't develop and I was like bitch like I I know that it developed and you're just salty about it so that week turned into like hell for me and all of a sudden it turned well there was drama around that the picture not showing up but then people took sides and I remember it was like mean girls like walking into the cafeteria where like the popular girls hated me anybody that wanted to be popular hated me the popular guys hated me and they have all the power in school and at one point I was like hiding in a bathroom and I called my mom and I was like I need to get out of here they signed a suicide petition they passed it around and got people to sign it saying if you um we want Demi to kill herself.

11:39And it was just it was awful. And so and they said some other mean stuff in there that like, was just really hurtful. And so I ended up leaving and homeschooling. And it was a blessing in disguise because it gave me motivation to keep going. And it also gave me all this free time after I did my schoolwork to practice music for three, four hours a day. and I did that for years. You were kind of getting bullied, I think, because you were having success, right? Like you were kind of starting to make it. People were jealous. At that age, they're super insecure. We all know how that goes. But do you think you then leaned into your craft because it was kind of like your escape from what you'd been going through?

12:23I leaned into my craft, but I also leaned into my eating disorder because the reasons that they gave me for bullying where they were like, you're a slut, you're a whore. Meanwhile, I'm 12 and I've only had my first kiss. And they were like, and you're fat. And they started calling the house saying they were from Jenny Craig and they wanted Demi. And so I was like, well, I guess that's their reason for me being hated so much. I guess it's because I'm fat. And I developed an eating disorder at 12. And it was really hard. But yes, at the same time, I used it as motivation. like I'm gonna make my name so in your face that you can never escape me again and it felt really good when that finally came true so you make it to Disney Channel yes which I was saying is basically and winning an Oscar as a child like at that age are you kidding let's watch a Disney Channel movie I'm like okay like I can you tell I've literally watched all of it I did too everything to paint the picture like who was also acting on Disney around that same time as you it was the golden era of Disney I mean there was one golden era where it was like Raven and Hilary Duff and then it like moved into this other golden era where it was like Hannah Montana had just started like a year or so before high school musical had just happened Selena was on Wizards and I auditioned for the Jonas Brothers TV show.

13:51And I was up for the role of their like female best friend or whatever. And I remember I didn't get it and I was crushed. I was heartbroken. But Disney was like, but we want to see you for these other two projects. And I was like, okay. Like I had taken the hardest no in my life. And I was just like, I don't know if I want to go audition again, but I will. So I did. I went and auditioned and I ended up booking them both. One was Sunny with a Chance and one was Camp Rock. So like that for me was like, I get my own movie and my own TV show. Are you kidding? Like on Disney Channel. And I knew my life was about to change.

14:30Was there competition amongst the big actors on Disney? Even though I'm a competitive person, I really like quieted that voice because I was like, it's not worth it we all have our own talents and that's why I'm not jealous of any artists today is because like we all have our own lanes and someone has to fill my lane you know as like a young girl watching those shows I was always like Demi seems like she would like I could be friends with her oh thank you like eating my hair in my room be like I could be friends eating my hair the most perfect hair by the way we've already had this conversation but it is funny because you you really gave that vibe of like relatable and like someone that you could be friends with.

15:11It was the bangs, the camp rock bangs. It was the bangs. It was the bangs. And you brought the bangs back today. Today. Okay. What pieces of your personal life did Disney have a say on once you started working with them? So there were expectations on you to be a role model because all of a sudden you're thrust into that position whether you want to be or not like you're on shows that kids are watching you can't be seen at a party with a red cup in your hand because it looks like it could it could be alcohol and people online like there was this website called ocean up and ocean up would just like take all scandalous things that were happening to disney actors and put it on there and so we lived in fear of that website it wasn't really ever Disney saying you can't do this you can't do that but if something happened there would be conversations and I will say that like that pressure of your replaceable was always there not necessarily ever said by Disney but they didn't have to because it was like Disney is the hottest thing for teenagers to be on and there are millions of kids that want to be in your place and so you have to be on your best behavior or else you know there's the next girl in line that could book the movie that you're supposed to be in what people don't know is that the amount of work we had to do every year I filmed a season of a tv show I went on tour I made an album and I shot a movie and I did that for like three or four years I think it was three but if I had a hiatus from my show I would have the tour bus pull up to the studio and take me on tour for one week or I would fly to London to do promo and I remember one day I woke up I was so tired and like just drained from how much work I was doing as a 16 year old I woke up and I just started crying and my mom was like what's wrong and I was like I'm so tired and then she started crying too she was like me too and it was like this sad kind of hilarious moment and we were like okay put you know put ourselves together we got to do this and so there was this extreme workload that I think put a lot of pressure on us and that's why some of us turn to I personally turn to if you're going to work me like an adult I'm going to party like an adult and that at 16 17 wasn't healthy at all when you had that moment with your mom mom, do you wonder if she ever thought to be like, hey, like you don't have to, you know?

17:57I think my parents were also under the, you know, impression that someone will take your place if you don't commit to this stuff. And so I'd sit down with my management and my dad and we'd go over the schedule. And the thing was, is I was also bipolar. And so, and I was unmedicated. So there would be times where I'd have this like all this energy and I'd look at my schedule and be like, I can do that, that, that, that. Plus, this is the cover of Cosmo. Like I want to do that. It's cover of 17. Like I want to do that. I didn't want to miss anything. I had like major FOMO if I did. So I just kept kept on pushing.

18:33But then by the time it would get there, I'd fall into like a depression and it'd be really hard to work. at that age technically at 16 you are the thing that's making all the money for all the people around you and if you stop it all ends and also at a certain point I was paying for the roof over my whole family's head and my dad had quit his job to become my manager so it was his income was coming from me my mom was a stay-at-home mom didn't you know wasn't reliant on well I mean kind of was but it was just that pressure of like I'm paying for everything and like I need to keep going because if things start start to disappear so does the finances so you reference if I'm going to be treated like an adult I'm going to party like an adult yes at what point in your Disney career did you begin experimenting with drugs

19:44so you reference if I'm going to be treated like an adult I'm going to party like an adult yes at what point in your Disney career did you begin experimenting with drugs so I started experimenting for the first time when I was 12. I got into, or 13, I got into a car accident and they prescribed me opiates. And my mom didn't think that she'd have to like lock up the opiates from her 13 year old daughter. But like, I was already drinking at that point. I was, you know, had been bullied, was looking for an escape. And when my mom saw how many of the pills had disappeared and how fast they did she took them away locked them up but yeah I drank a lot in my teenage years and then it wasn't till I was about 17 that I started well that's not even true like there were times where I'd get certain kinds of pills throughout like 15 16 I'd steal my mom's Xanax she had a Xanax addiction and like so it was off and on and then at 17 is when And it kind of was the first time like I tried Coke and like loved it too much.

20:59And then that kind of bled into me going to treatment like right after I turned 18. When you were drinking, were you drinking alone or were you going out places? My first time drinking, I was alone. And that was like should have been a major red flag. I like stole beer from my dad in the fridge. my stepdad and like took it to my room and drank like four beers just to see what it was like to feel drunk and like I was like a little 90 pound you know girl so that was a lot and then it started being with like friends and it was not it wasn't ever alone after that but that was my first time when you're kind of at this age where you start to kind of experiment your drinking and everything Like did not only your parents, but like management and publicists, did people know you were drinking and doing drugs?

21:54When it came to management's attention that I had been doing pills, they definitely were like, this can't happen. And like, what's going on? And do we need to get you help? And I was really good at convincing people like, no, it was just like, you know, I had a hard time sleeping and blah, blah, blah. Or I'd make up excuses. And finally, when it got to a point where it was clear that I needed help and I needed to go away, everyone was really supportive of it because it had been like kind of a long time coming. So thinking about the whole Disney era, I there was a major wave of purity ring wearing.

22:39I can't even I can't say it with a straight face. okay. Yeah. And he's like, holy fuck. Oh, no pun intended. No pun intended. There was a huge wave of purity ring wearing amongst Disney stars. Oh yeah. What the fuck was that about? So I think it was just my purity. I had a purity ring that came from my church, like way before Disney channel even happened. I was like 11 or 12. And like, obviously that's not, that shouldn't have even been implemented on 11 or 12 year olds. But I was like, okay, like I'll, I'll do this, whatever. That quickly went out the window at a certain point. And then I left the others to have their purity adventures on their own.

23:29But I mean, to each their own. I don't know. It was an interesting thing to come out publicly and say. It really was. because I remember being that age and like I should have been apparently wearing one because I was a Catholic at the time god I'm getting like burned but I'm like why are people wearing these things and it was so such an interesting it almost at the time when I look back on it really felt like the Disney kids like were getting older and it felt like a way to like really cement like no we're really good kids and we don't do anything bad and it's like look at my look at my finger like oh they wear a purity ring right I don't I don't know like I had one and I think I talked about it like once but like and it caught a little bit of fire but I definitely not as much as the other people wearing them and I quickly hushed about that when I started having sex because I was like I lost it I don't know where it went it broke I think I'd like I think it actually literally broke because it was so cheap.

24:31And then I was like, well, this is, that's my sign. Here we go. Have you ever sat down and discussed the challenges of being inside this Disney machine with people like Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers? I think over the years, like we talked about it for sure. But I do have a project in the works where I want to talk to some of those people about their experiences and other child stars as well. Kind of like we were talking about earlier, there were all these systems in place in your life. Everyone, you know, they're taking care of your career with you. And then well into adulthood, your personal life was also being controlled by people that were managing your career.

25:23Demi in what ways was your team controlling your life there was someone that came into the picture and when they came into the picture everything in my life was controlled I started having a sober companion which was helpful for me but it should not have lasted three years um and then it became controlling around my food and for someone in recovery from an eating disorder that's so dangerous it actually exasperated my eating disorder to the point where I became bulimic again from 2016 to 2018 I was dealing with that and we're talking like I've never talked about this before but there was one time where I had binged and purged one night and I came clean to my team and said, hey, this happened.

26:20You know, I snuck out of my hotel room because they didn't let me have phones in my hotel rooms because they didn't want me to call room service. I didn't have food in my hotel room, like snacks in the mini bar, because they didn't want me to eat the snacks. Ellen talked about this on her show where they cleared the dressing room of like all sugar before I would get in there. She was like, I remember that. And they, after I told them what had happened, my security guard walked by my room or was made aware that they had built, they like barricaded me into my hotel room. They put furniture outside of my door so that I couldn't get out and sneak out and eat if I wanted to.

27:07And so it was that level of controlling when it came to my food, which just made my eating disorder worse. One time I said, I'm throwing up blood. I need to go to treatment. I need to get help. And this was in like 2017. And this person looked at me and said, you're not sick enough. And I think that was his way of saying like, no, you're not going back to treatment because if you do, this will look bad on me. and so I didn't I didn't go back into treatment and I you know less than a year later I ended up overdosing and so I think it was just like I felt trapped I felt like I couldn't get out of this situation and my way of like blowing everything up was relapsing on drugs and alcohol because they always said if you use we're out and I was like all right time to get out bye I've learned a lot from that experience like no one can control me anymore and I was under the control for from 18 to 25 and those are years where you're trying to figure out your adulthood you know you're no longer a teenager but for some reason I had people controlling everything I ate you know my business decisions were always being made for me and now I found my voice no one can ever do that to me again and I feel empowered by what I went through because I had to grow and I had to learn to accept that I'm my own boss when you just to clarify when you're referencing this person is basically trying to keep you from eating it's for the image to make sure you look thin yeah which helps their career yeah and their income can you talk a little bit about mentally why it's so hard to push away from people that get their claws in you in that position yeah absolutely I would even go so far as to say like there was a brainwashing element to it where you were totally under the impression that if I don't listen to this person who knows so much about recovery, I'm going to lose everything.

29:22And so you put all of your trust and your faith into one person. And then from that, everyone around me listens to that one person and they go with it. You know, if, if this person says, this is what it is and this is how it should be, then we listen to them. And then it became, um, it got to the point where like, if they didn't like a chef that I had, they would sit me down and say like, we don't like the chef that you have. Um, we think that you should try someone else. And so I would say, okay, like I wouldn't, I just put all of my trust and faith into, you know, into people around me that, um, I think didn't have my best interest at heart.

30:00The reason why they didn't like that chef that I had was because the chef told me, they said, they read your bank statements to see what you order at Starbucks to make sure you're not getting like cookies or pastries or things like that. Um, and when I found that out, I told them and then they were like we don't like your chef and I was like oh you you realize that um that she's the one that told me hearing you talk about this it does sound not like a version of what Britney Spears went through right like the controlling and the yeah the micromanaging to the point where you don't even have control over your own life right I can't imagine how alone you felt when you said like they had said if I use then they were gone and then I use and in a way it was almost like your cry for help of like get the fuck away right a lot of people don't understand this side of the world and I think that's why I love having you on right now because people we get headlines e-news says something about and it's like we don't understand what you as a human being are going through and people are so ruthless to quickly make a judgment of like oh well she's got all the money in the world so her well and it's like listen to what you're saying right now like this is a nightmare right and I couldn't talk about it I felt trapped and you know I don't know how many people have gone through that situation but it is it is really sad in a bustle article you asked the question what do I want my relationship with my manager to look like without enmeshing my own father issues onto him.

31:38What did you mean by that? How were your father issues affecting your relationship with your manager? I had such interesting relationships with my dads and the abandonment issue from my birth father was so deeply rooted inside of me that when it came to management, I placed that fatherly figure role onto him and onto this other person that I have mentioned. And so when looking for a new manager, I wanted to find someone that I don't place that fatherly figure role onto and that it's just business. In your documentary, Dancing with the Devil, you reveal your virginity was taken from you. Yeah. You were raped.

32:29is it possible to heal from an experience like that I think in a way time can heal wounds maybe not all of them um the more time that has gone by the easier it has gotten but there's still a sadness a deep sadness inside of me that someone took that from me at such a young age. And it was hard because this person was also around, like they were also on Disney. And so seeing them around was, was difficult and it really messed up my, my teenage years. And finally I went and got help for that. And it's been something that I've work done but you know I've had other traumas happen and um it kind of pushes those to the side a little bit but there are moments where I like I definitely will cry and just feel the sadness inside of me because you know that's healthy to do rather than bottle it up I just will allow myself to have those moments of like that was really sad what happened to you and you're a fighter like you can get through it I mean I can't imagine at that young of an age having to still have someone be on Disney and having to see someone that did that to you I mean you are a survivor thank you and to be clear like it wasn't anyone in the immediate Disney circle you know like it I've had people ask you know questions of like was it this person or was it that person And it was like, I don't think it'd be anybody that anyone would guess, but they were friends with someone on set and they'd come around and yeah.

34:21So many people, especially young women, listen to my podcast that have been sexually assaulted. And it's a really, it's complicated if you've never been through it. How do you give someone advice on that? Right. And so where have you generated the strength to keep going through trauma? I think that I've just had a lot of trauma in my life and there's a persistence a determination inside of me and I think I learned that from like the bullying experience of like you can turn this around and make it into something great and I'm not saying that I've turned sexual assault into anything great but um you know I've I've written about it in music I've healed from it and um it's just made me stronger you are so fucking strong and it is written all over your new album thank you I was listening to it in my car I feel like that's also the best place to listen to new music when you're like it's the best the best yeah the best you're like by yourself you're listening and you're just like so first of all I just want to say I'm a huge fan of your new album thank you Holy fuck.

35:31Holy fuck is the album. Also, holy fuck. It's so fucking good. Thank you. Demi, I need to know, how does this album reflect where you are in your life right now? Whew, this album. It reflects, this album, like, actually, there's a journey to it. So, like, in the beginning of the album, you can hear my anger. You can hear, like, I left treatment in December this last year. getting help again and I'm sober again and I feel great but like there was all these emotions that I left treatment with and I wanted to convey them in my music and so the first few songs are like really angry and it's like this is who I am take it or leave it I know what you're saying about me online like Demi leaves rehab again like I I see you I hear you and then as I started to heal I was like you know what I'm actually like getting happier and I was owning my sexuality in a lot of the songs and then my album became like so it was like angry then like sex and then like love songs your songs are incredibly personal and you always give insight into your life and I feel like that's why your fans are obsessed with you it's because you're like you put it all out there and that's why we love Demi Lovato it's like we and and I appreciate that because you know sometimes we don't get a lot from people and you're like this is me this is me this is me but oh my god everyone's like stop Alex but I I appreciate that and in the tone of one of the songs like you are fucking fighting and you're like I have something to say and I'm going to address it as I always address my journey and I always talk about what the fuck I'm going through and so why would this be any fucking different right album the song 29 yes what inspired you to write this song I went to treatment after turning 29 I did a lot of work on myself and I had this realization when I turned 29 that I came out of treatment with anger I came out of treatment with um understanding and growth and so it was like a reflective song for me and even though there's undertones of anger it was like I really learned a lot about that experience and I decided to write about it to anyone that hasn't listened to the song you need to go listen to it just a couple of the lines to give them a too young to drink wine just five years a bleeder student and a teacher far from innocent what the fuck is consent numbers told you not to but that didn't stop you now I'm finally 29 funny just like you were at the time what do you hope people take away from these lyrics if you're a young girl and you think that it's um sexy or fun to date older men um it's not okay unless you're of age.

38:37It's portrayed as like, oh, you scored someone older. That's cool. And it's like, actually, that's weird. So it's just like a reflective moment of like, if you are in that situation, just listen to this song and like kind of think about it. How did you decide to release it as a single? Well, it was hard. It was really hard for me to release this as a single because it's so emotional for me and so personal um but I think sometimes the public needs the truth and that's why I decided to release it as a single because I think the message is so important

39:37what is your favorite song on the album to have sex to first of all i don't have sex to my own music demmy come on i'll have sex to your music go for it go for it um i just i feel i would feel weird about it if you had to if i had to people listening which song should they fuck to uh well it depends if you're trying to be like like sensual and sensual listen to come together if you're trying to like bang it out bang it out you know what if you're trying to bang it out listen to bones bones is like it's like i want to jump your bones that's the that's the hook we are not in disneyland anymore guys disney channel is dead demie fucking lovato you are fucking back with a vengeance i'm obsessed speaking of sex demi you gotta guess a little tea are you dating anyone i yeah i'm dating somebody look at that grip okay we don't need like too many deets but like yeah how's it going like what's the vibe it's going really well it's going well yeah can i say that it's your life okay yeah it's my life No more looking at your team.

40:53Yeah. It's your fucking life. It's my life. Yeah. It's going really well. Yeah. Okay. When you're dating someone, what is the most important thing you look for in a partner? I have to laugh. Like someone, I've been, you know, I've dated people that were beautiful or, you know, sexy. And it's like, I still am. Like the person I'm dating is so hot and so sexy. And I am obsessed. But like I the most important thing is like eventually over time, you know, we grow old and looks fade and things like that. Like you have to find someone that completely understands you. But most importantly to me, makes me laugh.

41:34I'm like so happy for you because I can tell it's like fresh and it's great because you are fully, fully blushing. You're like, stop. Demi knew you. We don't fucking ask for permission. What do you want to say? That's true. we're not saying names here unless you want to say his name okay you're gonna go on tour right yes so excited is it hard to date while you're on tour i found that it's actually kind of easy if you make sure that you see each other like okay once every two three weeks okay fun um it's important to like to and it's also facetime like facetime is really helpful um and i'm sure like it's like i think what's gonna suck is being away from the person that you're dating but like ultimately it kind of builds anticipation too for when you do see them and it's like so exciting you know so exciting and i think it's also the test of like if you can make it through that yes like that's a great strength building core exercise what the fuck am I saying um okay when you go on tour what are you looking like most forward to when you're going on this upcoming tour rocking out because I did you know the pop music and kind of R &B pop which was fun but also at the same time I felt like it wasn't me like I was trying too hard to be sexy and I was in the little leotards and the you know stiletto heels and I wasn't comfortable.

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43:05And so I want to be comfortable on the stage and I will be. And I can just completely be myself, which is going to be so exciting. Will we be seeing like a little old Demi music vibe also on tour? Old music, yes. You will definitely, because it matches the sound. And I've also, which is the most exciting, I've also turned like my hits into the style of music that I'm doing today. So like, you know, Cool for the Summer sounds totally different. Heart Attack sounds totally different. Confidence sounds totally different. And it's like, it's so exciting. Sorry, not sorry. Like all of those songs sound totally different.

43:45And I'm like so excited for everyone to hear it. You know, I started out with really great instincts on how to be myself. And I strayed away from it because I wanted, I wanted hits. I wanted what people wanted to hear. And so I lost myself for a long period of time when it came to me musically. And I've never had an experience in the studio like I've had making this album where it's just so fulfilling. So myself. And it's just so fun to sing and I can't wait to perform it. Demi Lovato, thank you so much for coming on Call Her Daddy. Thank you. Thank you so much.

44:30Thank you.

From the publisher

Father Cooper sits down with Demi Lovato. Demi exposes the reality of what it was like to be one of the biggest stars on the Disney Channel. How much of Demi’s personal life did Disney have control over and what the fuck was up with the purity rings? Demi outlines how extreme management evolved into manipulation and brainwashing which led to drugs and alcohol. Now free of the control, Demi reflects back on problematic relationships and opens up about which relationship inspired the song "29." Holy Fuck…Demi shares all about sex and dating and discusses a new relationship.

This episode discusses adult subject matter, including descriptions of emotional and physical abuse, eating disorders, and substance abuse and is intended for adult consumption only. Listener discretion is advised.

Resources: If you have been affected by domestic abuse, free, confidential support is available 24/7 through the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.7233 and online at www.thehotline.org. Text or call the NEDA helpline for support, resources, and treatment options for yourself or a loved one who is struggling with an eating disorder at 800.931.2237 and online at www.nationaleatingdisorders.org The National Drug Helpline is open to any individual dealing with addiction issues, including family members and other loved ones. Resources are available for those struggling with any addictive substance, including alcohol, and professionals are available to help 24/7/365 at 1-844-289-0879


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