Dick Appointment Disasters (ft. Athletes & Handcuffs)

27:32It was about three years ago and Matt and I had just started dating and shit hit the fan so badly on this trip, daddy gang, that I truly thought it could have been the end of me and Matt's relationship. And I told this story over three years ago when it happened, but it It was still so fresh and traumatic and I didn't fully give you all of the details. It also wasn't even a video episode. It was so long ago. And I also assume that there's also many of you who have never heard this story before. So let's take a trip back to London, December 2020, when I thought that Matt was going to leave me because of the situation I had put us in.

28:23Here we fucking go.

28:41Okay, guys, I had to take off that outfit because I could not take myself seriously telling this story in that outfit. So, okay, here we go. In case you need a reminder, to set the scene. December of 2020 was full swing COVID. Social distancing, mandatory masks, all of that. And once again, Matt was spending an entire month in London filming a movie. And during that time, I was living in New York City and basically losing my mind trying to make content in a pandemic. And I was also just trying to figure out like it was kind of the early days of Matt and my relationship. I'm pretty sure we had like maybe just started to talk about making it official.

29:33But I was just trying to figure out like how serious is this relationship with Matt, which was definitely difficult to do solely on FaceTime with a six hour time difference. So eventually Matt invited me to go to London and spend time with him. And I said, yes, I would go for the first two weeks of December and that is what the trip was supposed to initially be. Two weeks, but it ended up turning into a full month. Why did it turn into a full month? Matt's filming got extended and Matt wasn't able to leave London. And we were just like truly, honestly falling in love at that point and having the best time, even though it was COVID and there were so many different protocols and we couldn't really like go out to that many bars or restaurants.

30:18Like I think it was the beginning of how we really knew we were each other's person because we were basically just sitting in hotel rooms by ourselves, drinking whiskey, eating food, playing cards and hanging out. Like we had no social interaction other than each other. And we were like, we love this. This is a great sign. So I said I would stay with him so he didn't have to spend Christmas alone. Yes, I'm aware he's Jewish, but it was fucking romantic. tick. Okay. And so three weeks of absolute bliss in London go by. And then it's the night before Christmas Eve and I am sitting alone in our hotel room on Zoom with my therapist.

31:02And we were having one of those sessions that is heavy. Like somehow we just got into the topic of childhood trauma and I'm like oh okay fuck here we fucking go like it was literally like I didn't even want to do therapy those are the worst ones when you're like I don't even want to do my therapy session and then you're like sobbing and you're like oh fuck this is deep like and I think why I was also going so deep in therapy if I'm also remembering is like I was also really trying to understand myself so that I could show up to this relationship and be a better person and do it right from the beginning with Matt, because as you just saw earlier in this episode, in this story, there was just just a little bit of toxicity going on in my life.

31:48OK, and I did not want that with Matt. I could tell he wasn't someone that was going to play games. I could tell he wasn't someone that was going to be shady. And so I wanted to reciprocate that. So I vividly remember I'm almost about to cry on this session because we were having a breakthrough. And then all of a sudden my phone starts to ring and I look at it and I see that it's Matt calling me and I immediately press decline but I'm also confused Matt had gone down to the hotel lobby bar to give me some privacy for this therapy session and he knew I was in therapy so I'm like why would he he knows that why is he calling and then he calls me again I decline it and then he calls me again and then it immediately hits me okay something's wrong so I say to my therapist I am sorry give me one second Matt would not be calling unless there was I guess an emergency or a problem so I answer the phone already a little spooked and Matt proceeds to say do not move the police are in the lobby and they're here for you

33:08okay so now you're all probably wondering why the fuck are the police there for you Alex and what the fuck is going on there is never a dull moment on call her daddy welcome to my life bitches okay how exactly did we get here we are going to rewind a bit because there is a lot of information I need to just quickly fill you in on before I get to why the police are there. So during COVID, England had established a tier system. I also completely understand that you do got, you guys do not want to relive COVID, but trust me, this point is very important to the story. So the lower tier, the less severe the area had been hit with COVID.

33:50And the rule was that you could not travel from a higher tier to a lower tier because of the worry that you could be transmitting COVID to an area that hadn't been already affected that badly. For example, you couldn't travel from an area that was classified as a tier four to an area that was classified as a tier three. Okay, we got that? This is important. Okay. so once matt and i realized we would be in london for the entire month and specifically for christmas time we wanted to go to the countryside of england for christmas and go there before the tear in london was raised and we were just stuck in the city in a small hotel like we wanted to get out to the countryside since we were spending again christmas together alone we wanted to just we wanted to just lean in and make it romantic and matt found a hotel in the countryside that was essentially all of these little cottages and it was so charming and beautiful and it literally looked like a fucking hallmark movie like i felt like cameron diaz in the holiday and like that is i mean that's goal so like i was like here we go this is the shit and this hotel that we booked took COVID very seriously as they should.

35:09So for days leading up to our arrival, Matt and I had to submit daily COVID tests, prove that we had been quarantining and also submit official documentation that we weren't breaking the tier system, which also was great because we already were having to do that for Matt's movie set and stuff. So we were like, oh, this is great. We've already been doing this. And let me set the scene of this hotel hell for you even more daddy gang just like really put you in my head okay Matt was like fully in his courting era at this point in life like he was impressing me and this was objectively the nicest hotel that I have ever been to in my life also reminder like I didn't have that Spotify money yet I was still living on that barstool paycheck okay so it only went so far okay so Matt was paying for everything is the point and everywhere we went he really was whining and dining me and it was so sweet.

36:02At this hotel, you didn't have a hotel room. Like I said, you got this cottage, you had multiple floors, a fireplace, one of those like huge bathtubs that can fit like 15 people. Is that a thing? They had a Christmas tree up for us and there were maybe up to 12 couples staying there. It was bouge city and it was exclusive and I was living for it. Okay. So here we go. the scene has been set now we are at the night before christmas eve and matt and i were putting on our sweaters getting all cozied up to go down to the lobby bar to have an old fashion before our michelin star dinner that he had booked us and we're walking down the steps of the cottage and all of a sudden i get an alarm on my phone and it says therapy and i'm like oh my fuck i had put on alarms for therapy specifically for london because i was like i keep fucking missing therapy It's at night now.

36:55We're six hours ahead, all this shit. And I'm like, I can't miss another session. You go have a drink, Matt. I will come meet you at the bar when I'm finished. So I rush back up to our room. My computer is dead. I take out my phone and I'm just log on to Zoom and I start the therapy session that I started the story with. Here's where we left off, daddy gang. Okay. I am mid cry with my therapist. And Matt is blowing up my phone. I finally answer my phone. Matt says, did you see your text messages? Look at your phone right now. I look, I see he texted me. The police are here. Do not move. And in that first second moment, I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

37:38Like, okay. Like, is there drama? Like, is someone hurt? Is there fire? Like, Matt, come back to the room. Like, I was like, I wonder what's going on. Why would the police be at this hotel? Not thinking at all. Maybe they're there for you, Alex. and then he finally goes Alex you're not understanding the police are here for you now in that moment I'm shaking I'm scared I don't understand what's going on I'm in a foreign country I'm not in the United States all I know is I'm about to be potentially arrested and I have no fucking idea why and on top of that I will say I remember like Matt is one of the most calm like even keel people when there's like drama going on he like if something happens he can just be like we're fine I'll handle it and I had never heard his voice like this before you could tell he was anxious so that made it even fucking worse I was petrified sitting in this room alone so I say to Matt okay what the fuck should I do should I come downstairs and he said no the police left but they're coming back in an hour and they want to speak to you I'm coming upstairs don't move I'll be back and I'll explain everything and he hangs up on me so the call cancels out and my zoom app pops back up and my therapist is like is everything okay Alex and I'm like you know what we're gonna have to wrap this one up hope you are available next week for a double unless I'm obviously in jail and she looks at me and it's such a classic therapist thing like therapists are there for you until the 50 minute mark hits and then they're like oh well gotta go like I'm like I just mentioned jail and she like doesn't give a fuck she's like on my way out we'll talk next week for sure we'll schedule a double she's like I don't get fucking paid for this bitch okay she's like good luck that didn't help so finally Matt walks into the room and I just go into spiral mode.

39:39I'm like, what the fuck happened? Like, tell me everything. And he says, he was sitting at the bar and the manager came over to him and taps him on the shoulder and said, Mr. Kaplan, the police are here for you in the lobby. Matt goes to the lobby and there are two police officers, a woman and a man standing there. And they asked Matt to step outside and they proceed to question him and they ask him sir are you here alone and matt's like an asshole and he's like yeah i'm here alone he's like i knew in that moment alex they weren't here for me okay and he's like yeah i'm here alone and they were like sir are you staying here alone and he's like no i am not staying here alone i'm staying here with someone and they said are you here with Alex Cooper and he says yes and they say where is she and Matt says she's on the property is something wrong and then the manager steps in who was visibly uncomfortable that the vibe of this lobby was like just seriously being thrown off okay there's like some rich-ass people in here being bougie being like why the fuck are the police here and like Like just giving the manager like the ick face and he's freaking out because the place wasn't even filled to max capacity because people during COVID weren't like it was a whole thing.

41:11So this manager's freaking the fuck out. Like why are there police here? And the manager was like unless you're arresting someone can we just please take this outside and maybe like handle this so the guests don't freak out. And the police look at Matt and they say this is a serious matter. We have another call in the area that we have to report to but we're going to come back in an hour. and she needs to be here in the lobby. And at this point, Matt told me, he was like, okay, but can you give me something? Like, what did she do? Matt's probably like, is this bitch that insane? Like, what the fuck am I getting myself into?

41:49And they just kept it vague. And they said, we have gotten an exorbitant amount of reports filed claiming that she has broken the law. And they get back in their car and they leave. now daddy gang if you're new here and you don't already know this story this is where it gets really really really really fucking dark and strange okay when matt comes up and sits me down he says do you have any idea what they're talking about Like, what do they mean you broke the law? Like, why would the police be here for you, Alex? And I'm like, ah. At first, I genuinely, like, I have no idea. I'm just as clueless of you.

42:43And I remember just pausing and I get this overwhelming, sick feeling that comes over me because I think I may actually have an idea of what they're talking about. A few weeks prior, as I was sitting in London one night, I was going through my DMs and I see a DM from a daddy gang member. One of you watching this. OK, shout out if it was you. I should have found her and brought her on and interviewed her. And I remember opening this DM and the person is giving me basically a heads up, saying something like, hey, Alex, I wanted to share this with you. there is a pretty concerning online post that's going around that I think you should know about.

43:32I click on the link that she sends me and what do you know? It brings me to Reddit. There is a Reddit thread that was created out of pure hatred of me and the subject line of this feed says something along the lines of sign this petition let's make sure that Alex cannot get back in to the United States

44:13crafty I'll give that to them very very crafty and I remember I think I had a couple drinks that night so I was like kind of drunk with Matt I'm like what the fuck is this shit and like I remember barely thinking anything of it at the time I remember being confused when I saw it but also just not thinking much of it because it's reddit you know what I mean like like I remember one of the last things before that someone had sent me was like a free Henry feed that they had made and it's like because they're convinced Henry's like getting abused and I'm like trust me Henry lives better than all of us combined okay he's doing just fine but just to give you guys like context of like why I didn't act on it in that moment like everything I'd ever seen on Reddit I mean you just don't think twice about it because you get this shit every day and it's fucking insane and it's also my life and I feel like that's just like I got super used to it where I'm like ah keep me out of the country get Henry repossessed by PETA like classic every Monday you know so in this moment I need to try to figure out how to first of all just articulate this to Matt You know what I mean?

45:16Like this is my normal, but it ain't his normal. Now I know this wasn't just a dumb, harmless post. So I opened Reddit triggering and on that forum, there was still a link where people could go and click and report me to the London police. And they were claiming that I was breaking COVID protocol. And I remember just sitting on the bed with Matt. And when I find the post, I'm like, oh my God. Okay. Yeah. I know why we're here. And I proceed to explain the entire thing to him because Matt had no concept of how crazy the internet can be. He doesn't use social media. So I had to look Matt in the eyes and say, okay, just picture this with a new partner, that there is a fucking petition for me to not get back into the United fucking States of America.

46:20And there are currently thousands of people who hate me so much and are doing everything in their power to get me arrested. Yeah. So Matt really struggled to like wrap his brain around that one for a second and I had to just keep walking him through like I remember trying to explain reddit troll culture to him and I'm like it's okay like hate views are views and he was just like perplexed and still to this day when he tells this story he's like reddit is the wildest thing in the world like he he's like these people are insane and I'm like no no no this is normal like I'm like babe this is normal he's like they're freaks I'm like this is so normal so Matt like the amazing man he is in that moment though I will say is like listen they're coming back in an hour for you the police from what you're explaining to me like these people are just fucking insane like let's go fucking enjoy our night if this is all this is based on breaking protocol of COVID we know that we didn't we have submitted multiple covid tests they have our flight information they know we both quarantine we left london before it turned tier four like this hotel is so fucking strict we wouldn't be here unless we submitted all the correct documents like fuck these people let's go and i'm like oh thank god because i would have been spiraling i would have been like writing in the reddit thread like hey guys it's alex it's actually happening the police are here can you guys maybe retract the forum like i know you guys like to troll me but this is actually real the police are here they probably would have been like stick it bitch go fuck yourself rot behind bars great for content so we go down to the lobby bar and there's no sign of the police more than an hour has gone by and matt starts to get genuinely so fucking annoyed again guys he's in his courting era he made us this dinner reservation at the Michelin star restaurant on the property.

48:23It was getting late. We were starving. And we talked to the manager and he was like, oh, I was about to do a wee wee. Where are we? London. Go eat. What? Go eat. Go eat. Go eat. Enjoy your meal. I just go with it. My brain is not working. Go eat. Enjoy your meal. We all know you didn't break the law. Have a nice night. they're probably not coming back this man says this doesn't like gives us hugs like this man again at that point like they were like thank god these people aren't even paying for a night to stay here like no it's a ghost land and we're like thank you sir what is this accent so matt and i head in and it's a seven course meal and we are on our fourth course i am like i'm fucking thriving I've had 15 old fashions at this point.

49:16And what do you guys think happens? Our waiter comes over and says, Miss Cooper? We're not in France. No. Miss Cooper? That's a Texas accent. Wait. Oh, chip cheerio. Yes. Oh, my God. It's hard when you. Okay. Miss Cooper, Mr. Kaplan. the police are here and they're asking for you it sounds so much nicer when they say it an american would like bitch the police are outside you fucking whore what'd you do you psycho anyways they made it sound so lovely and i'm not gonna lie when they came over and told us the police were back at this point like i said we had had cocktails and the whole dinner we had just been talking about what was going on even the staff was joining in on the conversation like all the waiters ended up knowing about it they were laughing i'm like what if i was like a fucking psychopath like it's not that funny um but we were having fun and so matt was like they're back let's fucking go we have nothing to worry about and i will say thank god i did also like as funny as it is thank god i did have time to process it because reddit or not like it was very scary to have police in a foreign country coming for you and like not exactly knowing if i like did i do something like what did i do wrong like even if you didn't do something wrong we see horror stories like even if I didn't do something wrong maybe they're taking me in for that like I didn't know it was going to happen so I'm glad I got to process it and kind of walk through with Matt like what they were probably going to ask me and also like how to explain this to them okay because this is insane so we get to the lobby and I'm super respectful and I'm like hi I'm Alex like what is going on and the police were like we have received an exorbitant amount of people contacting us that you have broken the tier system and we have hundreds of reports even within the last hour and we're trying to understand why this many people are flooding in and reporting you because based off of what your partner is claiming and what the hotel has since proven to us with the documentation is that no law was broken so you can imagine why we are confused miss cooper i'm not gonna lie this may have been one of the most iconic moments of my life are you ready for this i look at the two police officers in front of me and i say can i ask you a question have you ever heard of reddit

52:03i am not fucking kidding you daddy gang i literally looked the police in the eyes and said to the man and woman have you heard of reddit and the male officer looks at me and he goes no and i'm like all right sir stay with me for a minute here okay I understand you're frustrated and you're very confused and this is taking up a lot of your time tonight and I am so sorry. But I have a show. It is a podcast. So I have some sort of a public platform and on that public platform I have people who I think like me. and I have people who hate me. And there is currently a forum on the internet right now where some of those very persistent and dedicated haters are actively still signing a petition to try to make sure that I am arrested and that I cannot go back to the United States because they think that I'm not allowed to be here because of the tier system, which just clearly isn't the case.

53:26You've seen all my documentation. So, yeah, that's, you guys, their faces are this. Just picture this. And I'm like, so, yeah, you know, they're always going to make something out of nothing. It's purely based in hatred. I'm really sorry about this wasting your time. when I finished this statement, Daddy Gang, the police officers and the manager of the hotel even, they are looking at me like I have 19 fucking heads. They're like, sorry, excuse me. They're whispering to each other like, what does that mean? Like, what is it? And in that moment, I think the female officer was the first to finally like register it and realize it.

54:13Like, oh my God, we're in the middle of fucking internet. drama like I think the police when they recognize it they almost I could tell they almost got like angry like you've got to be fucking kidding me like we are at one of the busiest times of year there's actual crime happening and we have been wasting hours of our fucking night driving into the countryside to address internet drama like you got to be fucking kidding me and I think when it clicked the officers basically they ended up looking at each other and they just looked back at me and I actually felt fucking bad. They looked at me and they were like, we are so sorry that we didn't look further into this before coming here.

54:52I'm sorry for the inconveniences caused. Please go back inside and have a great night. And I actually just remember this. I remember going, I went as far as to literally say to them, like, if it makes you more comfortable, like I'll stop posting on my Instagram. Like, how am I saying this to the police? I'm like, while I'm in London, like I'll stop posting. And the man, the guy officer literally goes, no, ma 'am, keep doing what you're doing fully noted what is happening here enjoy your night goodbye and they walk away and they leave it's actually like sad like I did feel bad for them I wanted to like invite them in to have dinner with us I'm like fuck your life is shit right now that you're having to deal with this but in that moment daddy gang as I reflect back because now it's been years gone by I remember looking at Matt's face and I could tell it all really started to click for him in that moment exactly what he was signing himself up for like exactly what he was getting himself into in dating me you know like I think Matt had an idea of the show was big and like people like whatever He had no fucking idea that there are police standing at our door because there's a fucking Reddit petition.

56:10Like, fucking insane. But I will say he was very, very sweet and cute. And this is why I do love Matt. As we're walking back to the restaurant, he stopped me. And he was like, he like kind of grabbed my arm. And he was like, he said something along the lines of like, Alex, the way that you were talking about how passionate this group of people hate you. that's like objectively scary and hurtful and I just want to make sure are you okay

56:42and I remember feeling so seen and cared for and like although our romantic night that he had planned had just turned into absolute fucking chaos and a shit show because of me and my job the fact that Matt's biggest concern was just making sure I was okay he wasn't mad at me or annoyed with me that like my job causes so much drought like he was just so supportive it was so sweet and I remember though just saying to him like I know this is gonna sound really really weird but at this point this has kind of become normal to me not that like I've never had the police show up but like does it surprise me no it doesn't anymore Nothing surprises me with Reddit and hate online.

57:28And in a strange way, I love how you guys, as I'm saying this, I'm like, oh, my God, I remember like I was basically sticking up for Reddit at the table with Matt. So go fuck myself. But I do remember basically trying to explain to him, like, I don't fault these people. I don't hate these people. And he was like, yeah, I'm losing you a little bit there, Alex. They are psychotic. They're freaks. Like they just tried to get you arrested in a foreign country for something that you didn't do. And I just tried to explain to him like my thought process back then and at that time was like, I am so fucking fortunate to have a platform.

58:02And I've just kind of had to accept that this is what comes with having the show and having that type of platform. And these people are helping the show in some capacity. I know that is a really weird way to look at it. But like I used to always say, and I still believe to this day and it's helped me. Like there really is no difference between a hate view and a like view. Views are views. And I know this is going to sound weird, but like me trying to explain it to Matt, like it's just better to not get angry about shit in life and just be like, what are you going to do? Do I wish that Reddit didn't call the police on me and try to get me arrested?

58:37Of course. Did it further my understanding of their commitment to the show and to me as a person? yes you gotta find the positive but I will say when I look back it was a real bonding moment for Matt and I and the rest of the night was insane the two of us were drinking heavily we were fucking partying the wait staff was partying with us because they're like you're free and I'm like just don't say that like please stop the manager was like oh because it was such a it was like you're in this little inn like we were all in on it together like she's free like we could party like it just it was fucking insane and I will say like because it was like what the fuck happened I don't know if you guys have ever had that like if a party gets crashed or like someone does something crazy at a wedding or whatever like when you have like a what the fuck it just amplifies it to feel like it's an adrenaline rush and then we absolutely fucked like rabbits that night and it was, we were on a high and it was just, we left there.

59:40And I know this sounds insane, but like it has turned into a fun story that I love to tell. It is one of the best stories. If anyone is at a dinner party, Matt and I will each whip this out. If someone's like, oh, we need a good story. Like let's pump up the volume. Like, oh, we have one for you. And Matt and I were reminiscing about it the other day. That's why it got brought up in my head because I'm going to London now. And he was like, oh my God, it is kind of crazy. Like I always forget that happened to you and I. And it's so crazy that was so early in our relationship. And it is now going to be a story that we tell our kids one day, maybe when they're like a little older so that they're not like, mommy convict.

1:00:18Like we're going to make sure they really understand the story. And I'm going to make sure my kids never download Reddit. I also want to, as I'm thinking about it, recognize because now that we can all look back on COVID, it's so fucking crazy to even think about. But I do want to just recognize, I think tensions were extreme. I don't even think I know tensions were extremely high during COVID. And when I reflect on the purpose of all these people coming together and signing this petition, obviously, a lot of it, sure, was based in people that like just didn't like me. But I can also understand that there may have been people that like genuinely thought I was breaking protocol.

1:00:58call. I still don't know if you need to go sign like this petition to get me in jail. But I empathize a little bit of like at that time. And again, this is why social media fucking sucks. It's like I understand that so many people were stuck in their fucking house or their apartment or wherever the fuck they were. And like people were so fucking miserable in covid, including myself. Like I just said, I fucking was hating my life in New York. Like I was miserable, too. And so I think that those feelings can get almost probably were exacerbated almost of like seeing me flying and posting about a guy and having fun like you couldn't go on a hike during COVID if you saw someone hiking you would get hate on the internet being like you're gonna kill my grandma like you fucking cunt get off the hike and you're like there's no one hiking I promise I went to the middle of the desert it's like fuck you you killed my and then oh my god the grandma dies a couple months later and it's literally like the hiker in Los Angeles killed the grandma like I I get it a little bit where like you could think you could think these really awful things and everyone had judgment and past judgment during COVID and I remember also back during that time which is so crazy to think back to like I remember judging people in the beginning and in the beginning I wasn't leaving New York and I was sitting I remember I was sitting also in I started it in New York then I was rotting in my parents basement fucking miserable miserable with my life So it's like, I think everyone had their own experience with how they felt about COVID.

1:02:27But I do just want to acknowledge maybe if I try to rationalize. No, I can't rationalize it. I'm sorry. But I can rationalize if people were annoyed with me traveling. I can't rationalize with the petition. Never, ever will you get me rationalizing that petition, you psychos. But like, again, I'm just trying to understand. And I think there's, I want to add that point to it. And I really don't hold any hate for people that hate me online. I feel like I just have gotten to a really happy place in my life. Past years, I would have been like, you're all such fucking losers and freaks. And you're such a little fucking pussy.

1:03:04If you spread hate online and you're on Reddit, you have mental problems. And like, that may be true. But like, I, how I feel now when I rest my head, I don't have ill will for any of these people. I really don't. I wish them the best. I feel bad that they feel they need to go online. But like I'm chilling. I'm good. I'm happy with my life. So I'm happy I now can tell this story three years later and laugh at it and think it was so fun. And thank God I didn't actually get arrested for something I didn't do. And that part I don't want to diminish because I know there are people that that happens to.

1:03:37And it's like, holy fucking shit. They can. I don't even want to think about that. But yeah, that is my London story. And so now I'm going to get on a plane and I'm going to go see Matt again in London. And I'm just very excited to see him and go on the movie sets and see the actors and see the people from our company working and party and have fun. And Daddy Gang, I love you guys. I hope you guys enjoyed. I have so many story times that I've been thinking. I guess I should tell Paris soon. But if you guys liked this episode, let me know. And yeah, I love you. I will see you fuckers next Wednesday.

1:04:14Goodbye. Did this episode leave you wanting more? Obviously it did. Daddy gang, here are two episodes I think you'll also like. Go watch Binge Call Her Daddy. This is what wedding planning is doing to me. Should I just pick up the phone, call a fucking wedding place, and go try on wedding dresses? All right, let's go. Spencer Pratt, welcome to Call Her Daddy. I am so honored. One time we were making a million dollars a year selling our paparazzi photos. You will obviously never be as relevant as you were. How does that make you feel? Oh, yeah. Fuck you. Fuck this interview. Stupid podcast. Fuck this shit's over here.