Does My Boyfriend Hate Me?

0:00Hello, Daddy Gang. Welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. this is a Sunday session so it's just a solo with me and you I always forget like these get released on Sundays obviously I record them like before Sunday and you know I'm in the middle of my work week right now you know so I don't have scaries but sometimes I forget that you could potentially be opening your eyes and clicking on this episode to really help you get through one of the worst decisions possibly you ever made in your life like I don't know maybe you were tits out titties up pulling dicks out at the bar last night maybe you were taking so many shots and you texted your ex maybe you got into a fight with your boyfriend your best friend who fucking knows and maybe you woke up with your pants off and your vibrator next to you and you're like who was I masturbating to last night regardless of what happened I am here to tell you it is not that deep everything is temporary and everything can be fixed actually I just thought of a story that can make you feel a little bit better about yourself.

1:01Sunday morning, fath this calling. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Every Sunday's fath this day. What the fuck? That was pretty good, right? I think it was like two weeks ago, Matt and I decided to take a bunch of our executives out to drinks. We have, our company is growing so much, which is so exciting. and we now have all these executives that are overlooking certain aspects of our company, right? So we have head of finance, we have head of unscripted television, we have head of scripted television, we have head of film. It's growing. It's crazy to think about. And so we were like, you know what, why don't we take the executives out and really do some like company bonding?

1:42So we are out at these drinks, Daddy Gang, and everyone is like excited because it's such like youthful energy at our company and everyone is new and excited to intermingle. And we've all been like at the offices working and so we don't get to socialize much and so everyone's kind of like leaning into drinking and I'm getting so excited and I have one margarita with the girls and we're all chatting and we're talking we're talking and then I have another margarita and then I have another margarita and I'm with Matt and he's driving and I had a long week because at that point I had two interviews in one week and then I had a bunch of like unscripted meetings whatever like I was just I was in back-to-back meetings so I was like I haven't had a fucking cocktail in a minute.

2:20Let's go. And so slowly I have gotten very good. I will say this at like, I can now handle my alcohol. Like if I'm in a professional setting, like you probably wouldn't know I'm drunk. And that is not always how I used to be. Like it used, this took years and years and years of practice. Okay. Starting drinking in high school does have its perks. Please don't start drinking in high school. The fact that I'm like, I'm not condoning that, but I'm just saying for me, for me, maybe not for you, but for me, I now look back. I'm like, thank God I had a couple of cocktails in fucking high school. Cause it really gave me that longer runway to just like fuck up so many times that by the time that I'm now in my twenties, whenever I'm out, I realized like I've gotten pretty good at like masking that I'm drunk.

3:05Right. And so no one at my company probably knows that I'm drunk. And I actually ended up asking them like, did you guys know that I was like, and they were like, not a clue. Like I also went home and I woke up with a hangover, whatever. So I get home that night and I go on TikTok while Matt's in the shower and I am pretty fucking drunk. OK. And I decide to as I'm swiping, I see this beautiful young woman who is playing the guitar and she is singing a cover. I think of like a Maren Morris song or like some country song. Okay. And I am like, Oh my God, like this is beautiful. This is touching. And I'm watching her strum her guitar.

3:47This does not have a sexual ending. I don't know why it seems like I'm like, and then I take out my vibrator and start masturbating to this woman. No, I start to get this idea and I'm watching this woman strum the guitar and strum the guitar and sing. And I'm like, what if I just learned how to play the guitar? And what if I just in moments on the show when I'm joking singing like at this point if you're OG you can kind of tell like I like to dabble with singing and like the only time I think I have a good voice though is when I'm like imitating someone like I don't think Alex Cooper young buck from Pennsylvania has a good voice but when someone's like oh give us a little like Shakira I'm like they know I'm hot tonight and my hips don't lie and I'm starting to have ever come on let's go real slow don't you see baby or Christina Aguilera.

4:40Like I can, I have something. Okay. You're all like, that was actually really off tune. Just believe me. Okay. So I have this vision that like one day, like I'm just going to like start a fucking singing career. Trust me. I'm not that delusional. I know that's not going to happen, but I thought, what if in moments where I jokingly want to sing on the show Or even more importantly, if I have fucking kids one day, I'm like, what if I just learned how to play the guitar or the piano so that I could sing acoustic and I could just go for it? So I'm like, it's immediate. I need to have a conversation with someone.

5:11And since Matt's in the shower and I'm too lazy to get up so he can hear me, I turn back to my phone and I text my assistant and I text her, God knows what. Okay. I text her. And in the morning I wake up and Matt's like, God, you were like really on one last night. And I'm like, wait, what, like, what are you, what do you mean? Like, what, what did I do? And he's like, you don't remember like what you were saying. And I'm like, I, I, I think like, what, what are you talking about? You know, when you're like, I don't know what did, what are, what did I do? And he's like your entire like tirade that you went on for your singing career.

5:47And he's like, I told you not to text your assistant. Okay. Daddy gang. I opened my phone. I'm like, what did I text my fucking assistant who recently like just started and we're now comfortable, but like, you know, like this is my first like embarrassing thing that I did with her. I opened my phone and I texted my assistant, maybe like 10 different singular texts being like, Hey, I really need you to write something down. So you remember to do this for me tomorrow. Tomorrow. Can you look into someone that could come to my house and teach me how to play guitar? Also, can you get me a guitar tomorrow?

6:22And she responds, it's like 11 o 'clock at night. And she's like for sure Alex like do you want like a an acoustic guitar you're looking more electric bass I'm like we probably should secure a fucking electric guitar and maybe also just like a regular acoustic guitar so I have options because I don't know where my fucking talents are gonna take me and she's like I'm on it and I'm like I really need this to happen also maybe we should get me singing lessons and I keep texting her about my fucking endeavors of what I want to be and what I want to do. And this poor girl, the next morning, she always sends me like a list of things that she's going to send me in the morning.

6:57And she's like, and I'll also, she's like, I'll also look into getting you a guitar teacher. And did you want me to buy a piano? Or was that like, are we just going with it? I'm like, Oh, my fucking God, like my assistant thinking that I'm this delusional, it's setting me back and I'm sure she's watching this like hi love ya you know what else is happening in my life oh my god my dentist ghosted me shout out if you're watching this I still don't know what's happened to this day okay so daddy gang two days ago I was going to the dentist I have been putting it off because I hate going to the motherfucking dentist because it's worse than getting in trouble when you're young like having a grown woman just like open my mouth and basically just like talk to me for 40 minutes about how I'm not flossing enough and how like my teeth are rotting off.

7:46I'm like, I just want to go home and cry. It feels like you start your new year's resolution every time you leave the dentist. Cause you're like, I will start flossing my teeth every fucking night. And it lasts. Well, actually it doesn't even last for a day because by the time I get home and I'm supposed to floss that night, I can't because this motherfucker fucked my gum so hard that I'm like, I'll start at the next night. And then I never start it. And then I never fucking floss. And then six months goes by and then my dentist yells at me again. So anyway, so I knew from my last dentist appointment that I had a potential cavity.

8:14And, you know, that's just like a looming. It's almost like an STD. Yeah. OK, I'm sorry. I don't condone STDs, but I will say I would rather have chlamydia. I would rather have chlamydia than a cavity because it hurts to get rid of the cavity where chlamydia is just like, oh, Papa Bell. It's kind of like the common cold. You know what I mean? So anyways, I didn't have chlamydia. Thank God I am married. Fuck you, Matt, if you ever give me chlamydia. I had a cavity and so I was kind of putting it off but then I like knew this summer that I'm going to be having to travel a lot for work so I was like why don't we just go and get this thing done and so finally I schedule an hour and a half out of my day to go to the dentist I just feel like work has just been a motherfucker lately that like me going off the grid for an hour and a half like I've got a lot of employees I got a lot of people calling me and I'm like okay I officially am doing it everyone leave me alone for an hour and a half I have to go get my shit fucking opened up and I show up to the dentist.

9:08Okay. And I'm already stressed. I'm like, all right, let's get in. Let's get out. I'm on time. I take pride in being on time. It gives me anxiety when I'm not on time, especially being talent. I feel like sometimes when like people, like if I'm going to a photo shoot or anything, I'm like, if I'm not on time, I just think it sets a bad example because then people are going to think I'm like one of those people. That's just like a fucking piece of shit that doesn't respect other people's times. Absolutely not. We're fucking here. We're here to work. Same thing with the dentist. Okay. I know you're going to fuck my shit up, but I'm going to respect you and I'm going to be here on time.

9:38Thank you. So I show up and I'm, I go to open the door and I'm like, well, what the fuck? The door isn't working. And to give you guys context, like my dentist is not in it just like a, its own building. Like I had to go up to the sixth floor and then you go into a suite. Okay. So like I'm, I'm up the elevator. I'm in this area and I'm like trying to get into the suite and I'm like, I can't get into the fucking suite. And so I do the natural thing you would do. And I just start knocking on the door. But for context, my dentist is like a big dentist where there's like a big lobby and there's people walking around.

10:15I can't get even, I can't even get in the door. I don't, and I hear people behind the door. So I'm like, knock, knock, knock, bitch. Cavity bitch is here. Let's fill this motherfucker. No one is answering. I stand outside of the store for 15 minutes on and off, like knocking on the door. And then I'm feeling so awkward because these people that are going into different suites are walking by me. Like, why is this fucking bitch like stalking outside of here and like literally knocking on the store? And I just keep knocking and I keep knocking. And then finally, I call my assistant and I'm like, Hey, like, I don't have the number to this place.

10:45Do you mind calling them? I'm knocking you call let's infiltrate from both sides. Like, can you help a girl out. And she's like, I got you. I got you. So she calls me and she's like, Alex, I just called the front desk. They're there. And they were like, can we put you on hold? And I was like, no, there's someone outside of the door. Can you go open the door? They put her on hold and then they hang up. Now, this is where I will just give you a little insight into having a podcast. all like, it's almost like clockwork when someone like doesn't like shuns me a little bit, or it's like not treating me right.

11:26I immediately start going through my brain and racking my brain with like, did I podcast about them? Did I podcast about them? Because I'm not kidding you. I've had times where I've showed up places and I'm like, fuck my shit. I've definitely podcasted about this person and they probably fucking hate me. And so I'm like, have I ever talked shit on my goddamn dentist. I mean, we've got to be low in motherfucking content if I'm talking shit on my dentist, but here I am talking to my dentist. No, no, I love my dentist. But so you guys, I stand outside for 20 minutes, knock, knock, knock, pausing, knock, knock, knock.

11:57I try to rattle the door open. No one answers me. And I hear people inside and they're just not letting into my fucking dentist. So I eventually decide, Hey, it's now been 25 minutes. Um, I got to get back to work. So I just leave. And so I currently sit here before you as a father with still a cavity that has not been filled. And I'm about to have to go on many different trips for work that I guess I will just have a cavity that is slowly building and building and building. Ooh, also let's talk about this. I don't know any people that have our homeowners here, but something I realized that's not fun about being a homeowner is hosting.

12:35I am the type of host that like fend for your fucking self obviously I'm gonna put out some fucking plates with sandwiches and shit but like I feel like when you're a host like the coziness of hosting and I've talked about this before is like that like I can run back upstairs if I need to take a shit or like oh if it gets chilly outside like I have my closet upstairs and no one else has their closet upstairs you know but I feel like Matt is such a great host that like he really takes pride which like is not a bad thing I'm just like a lazy piece of shit and I need to get better at it but something I realized was like I was worried I'm like is it just Matt and he's just like a great hoster for parties.

13:07So the other week on Father's Day, we went to Matt's brother's house and our whole family was there and they were hosting this barbecue. And we finally sat down to have Father's Day meal and they'd cook this beautiful meal and there's music playing and everyone is eating. And I look up and I look at Matt's brother and my sister-in-law and I realize realize that the two of them are huddled over the stove that they were cooking these like sausages and burgers on and they are eating on like the side panels of the fucking stove outside of the grill the grill the stove the stove the grill it's a grill it's a grill you're a grill I'm a stove the grill they were there the grill is outside is that also whatever the fuck the grill is outside and there's those two panels on the sides of it you know that you can put like your fucking spatula and they're both huddled over eating their fucking food.

14:02And I turn and I'm like, oh my God, hosting is miserable. Wait, like, and I literally said to them, I'm like, you guys sit down. There's two open seats and they couldn't sit down because they were hosting because they were busy. They're making sure everyone had everything that they needed. But I think what I'm realizing is hosting is almost like weddings. Stay with me here. Okay. I think that when we're hosting, unless you just have assholes at your fucking house, when you're hosting, you want to make sure that everyone is having an amazing time. But the honest truth is like, unless someone is so high maintenance, the, I feel like the, the fact is no one actually fucking needs the host to really, where's the ketchup.

14:41I'll walk and use my legs to go into the kitchen and figure out where the ketchup is. But the hosts obviously are doing an amazing thing. Like I love how I'm shitting on hosts. Hosts are doing a great thing. The problem is I wish I could tell all the hosts around the world, including myself, like relax, actually not myself. I am too relaxed when people are coming over. I want to tell Matt, relax, look like we didn't even need them to be doing all that, but they were doing it. It's like when you have a wedding and you think that everyone is thinking about all these details, no one gives a fuck when they're at your wedding.

15:06As long as there's good cocktails and when I say good cocktails, as long as they're out is alcohol. Okay. I would actually say my biggest piece of advice at a wedding is always make sure there's more than one bar. There's more than one bar. That's all I would say. Okay. Other than that, you're good. You could have your wedding in your backyard, have two bars, even if there's 20 fucking people there. Okay. Because as long as people have their drinks, they don't even give a fuck about the food. Also, who expects good food at a fucking wedding, right? As long as there's alcohol flowing, people are happy.

15:38And so I guess what I'm trying to get at is like, yeah, I don't know, daddy getting right into me, but if you have any tips for me in hosting, I just feel like sometimes I'm like, I don't feel like I'm being an asshole. I actually feel like I'm, I'm almost like enabling our guests to use their, have autonomy over their own experience. Like I'm assuming you can figure out where the ketchup is, you know, like if you want ketchup on your fucking rice and we don't have ketchup out, I bet they know where it is. What the fuck was the point of that? Oh yeah. I hate hosting, but I'm getting better. And I feel like I need to bring Matt a little bit more on my side of the hosting game to be like, babe, you can relax and we don't need to.

16:19Who's calling me. Matt. Hi, my love. I'm in the middle of recording. Can I call you back? I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Okay. Okay. Love you. Bye. It's like Matt has like that little sixth sense, you know, you know, when exes always know when you've moved it on and they text you, it's like Matt knows when I'm recording and he fucking calls me all the time. He low key wants to be the next co-host of call her daddy. Okay. He is interested in the slot. You guys, he will never fucking come on the show. I think that's kind of it. Should we do some questions let's do a little questions

17:09I have to acknowledge that last week let me let me disclaim a little rumor that I saw on the fucking internet. Okay. Last week I was reading from my iPad, all of your questions. Okay. Trying to do the Lord's work. And I happened to be holding my iPad upside down. And it seemed like the only thing that the people on the internet could focus on is the fact that my fucking iPad is upside down. Now, if you are, you know, someone that uses technology, you know, daddy gang, that but the iPad can just flip upside down. And even if it's upside down, the document will be upright. So don't worry. I think people thought like I was just like making these questions up maybe and like not actually reading.

17:58Oh, I've got your questions right here, you little shits. Okay. First question. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, but he has never officially posted me on social media. He rarely uses social media and hasn't posted on IG in about five years. Sometimes I get frustrated because I don't see the issue with posting to me, but he says he doesn't want his life on the internet. He takes me around to all of his friends and family. So it's not like I'm a secret, but am I wrong for being frustrated about this? I feel like this is like a very common topic that no matter how many times you talk about it, Like it always needs to be talked about because social media is so prevalent in our lives.

18:40Right. And so to say like, oh, who cares? Like, I don't want to discredit your feelings because my first point I would say is like, you shouldn't feel rejected or upset or like he's hiding you because at the end of the day, he's basically acknowledging like he doesn't post. if he was posting constantly and he was saying he doesn't want his life on the internet then that's a contradiction right then you could be like but you post you just don't want your relationship on the internet but that just feels kind of like you're being deceitful because I'm a part of your life and if you're posting your life then why aren't you posting a big part of your life which is me I remember when I met Matt and I felt like something that was so attractive about him was his lack of social media presence and Matt is a pretty private person and he was like totally fine with what I do for a living but he was just like let's just like always communicate if you're gonna like talk about me on the show or if we're gonna be like posting anything about me like just run it by me and now that we're married he's like I don't fucking care let hell break loose but in the beginning it like meant a lot to me that like he does not post on social media Matt does not have a social media presence but he has an Instagram and I worry for you that this is not something that like I think what I've learned in therapy is if something is upsetting you it's usually not just the one thing it is based off of other things right so like you're saying he brings you around to his friends and family a lot okay so maybe you could potentially be reading in too much to online social media couples right like maybe a lot of your friends post their partners and so maybe you're comparing yourself but like I feel like sometimes with social media it's like what is your barometer of like what would make you happy right and like why would it make you super happy to post him to post you like is it because you're worried about women thinking he's single is it because you feel like you want the world to know that you're dating because it's like a pride thing like and I'm not judging you for any of these I think that's like totally understandable but I think you have to get to the root of why you want him to post you so badly.

20:49A lot of times when we're, we feel like we need to post on social media is because we want to prove something. And I still struggle with that every single fucking day. I'm like, Ooh, like I was doing something so interesting, but no one knows I did that. Like, should I posted that? And it's like, I think that we need to get better daddy gang of just like trying to not be so set in stone that the only way to validate our life and our experiences is to get validation online. And if you are happy in your romantic relationship, if he is treating you right, if you guys have this great relationship and the only thing is he just doesn't post you on social media, but he doesn't post regardless, I think you could say to him maybe like, hey, because you're public and like, because I've posted you, like, do you mind just throwing up one picture?

21:33Because like, I don't know, I almost like worry, like, will people think that like, but then again, there's your answer, like, will people think? So is it you're worried that people think that like he's not proud of your relationship you know what I mean and I think that you could almost bring this up to him listen I don't have the answer because there's obviously going to be a lot of things that come with your questioning of him but like my advice is always if you can bring this up in a really like mature way and just be like hey I know that I've come to you before and I've said that I'm upset that you don't post me on social media And honestly, I can assume like that came off just like kind of just like immature and off-putting of like, why do I care?

22:14And I think when I get underneath it, I feel like because I've posted you and then people naturally go to your page, there is just this annoying like societal agreement that everyone kind of knows. Like if he doesn't post you but you're posting him, it looks like you're desperate or it looks like you're more obsessed with him. Like there is that. And that is no matter what we can spin it, whatever way of don't live your life on social media, like a lot of the things that we do and how we're affected come from social media of like our friend group and our family and everything. So I want to validate you and like as much as I wish I could tell you like fuck it it's okay that he doesn't post you on social media.

22:56That may be true and that may be actually genuinely true to him. He may genuinely be such a good person and love you so much and he genuinely may really really want that privacy and not give a fuck about social media. but it also could be true that you can feel your friends and family and like everyone kind of judging and like wondering like are things you know good at home or like whatever it is like I get that and so I think if you can have an open honest conversation with him just about like how it makes you feel and almost how like it's embarrassing like I hate that I'm even having to talk about this but like it does affect our life and like could you just put one picture up just one picture and I never will ask you it again, but just so when people go to your page, they know you're in a relationship.

23:42That's it. I think that's a fair ask. And if he's that, that private about his life, then I would say, okay, then would you then delete your Instagram? You know what I mean? Like now I'm getting toxic. I'm like, if you won't post me, then you obviously have to delete your fucking Instagram because what are the other options? But I don't know. I think it's a really tough topic and I feel like each relationship you probably deal with this like I think sometimes when like people are like get over it like it doesn't matter like well it does matter because whether we like it or not social media does have some form of like social and like currency in our life like we see things we are judging people we are keeping up with people we're learning about people.

24:27And as much as we hate it, if you decide to be on it, like you are somewhat playing into this game of like this voyeuristic experience. And so there may be people, yes, judging you. And then you also just have to recognize if he says no, what is that going to do to you? Because he may still say like, I can have an Instagram. I like to follow my friends. I just don't want to post my life. You could then maybe ask him like if he would feel free to like then archive all of his photos. Like if he's that private and he can't post you, then why are things from his past still up? You know what I mean?

24:59I feel like I just did a whole fucking episode on that. Jesus Christ. Sorry. Um, okay. Hey daddy. I have been seeing this guy for about six months now. Everything has been going great. He treats me well, takes me on dates and even took me on a weekend vacation. Suddenly he told me that he's not ready for a committed relationship and needs some space to work on himself before he can commit to me a hundred percent. He also told me that if I find someone else during our time apart, not to let him be the reason I don't pursue it. Now, as far as I know, we were exclusive and he wasn't hooking up with anyone else, but this is really throwing me off.

25:35Is he being genuine or is he just an asshole that strung me along for six months? Yeah, he's over it. It's over. That's fucking shit. I'm so sorry. Here's the thing. There's something in that makes me know exactly when it ended and how it's definitely over. And that is that he said, if you find someone else while you're giving me space, don't let that hold you back for moving on. Yeah. He's basically actually like saying, please move on. And that is fucking awful. And you know what just sucks is like, I just wish people would have the fucking balls to be more direct. like be a man and man up and say listen I know we've been talking for six months I think you're great and I really have had an amazing time with you but I don't want to waste either of our time and if I'm being honest with you I've been reflecting lately and I just don't think this is the right relationship for me and you did nothing wrong or maybe if you did something wrong he can tell you but like it's just something that like I have been thinking about lately and I'm really sorry, but I don't want to waste your time.

26:46You're such an amazing person. And I'm really sorry if this is hurtful, but like, I think it's time to end things like as harsh as it can be to hear those words that someone is like, yeah, I'm not vibing with you. It's more annoying to have to a Rubik's cube the shit and be like, hold on, does a equal B, is he being serious? Like, or he's telling me that he wants a break, but like, is he going to come back? And I like him like that's so shit. And that's so shit that you have to be the person that is like trying to figure out how he feels why can't he just fucking tell you and that just annoys me because I've been in that situation before where it's like just be fucking honest I'm a grown woman I can handle it and I think it would just be easier people are more direct but it's like people get so freaked out the problem is is he either has just been whatever in his life has led him to be someone that is like skirting around beating around the bush skirting around the bush oh skirting Kurt beating around the bush, beating around the bush.

27:43If he's someone that beats around the bush a lot in his life, maybe he is someone that like whatever happened in his childhood or maybe a past relationship, a girl wouldn't give up. So he had to like let her down easy because she sobbed and she screamed and she kicked and she cried and she wouldn't end the relationship. I don't know what it is, but all I can say is I'm really sorry he's done with the relationship. And I also want you to think about this. I would never want to be with someone that basically says, I need a break from you. I'm not feeling this. Please move on. And if you find someone while we're taking a break, that's totally fine.

28:17That is literally saying, I don't like you. I really don't give a fuck about this relationship, but I'm trying to be really fucking nice. So this doesn't have to be on me to break up with you. It's cowardly and it's a fucking loser energy, but a lot of men do it. so if I can just give you your answer yeah it's over but that's okay and I hope that I can save you a couple months of like going on dates and and thinking yeah but maybe he'll come back he's not coming back and if he does come back it's out of like boredom or being like oh just like go so we can hook up a little bit more like I just fucking hate when people can't be direct and honestly maybe it comes with age like now in hindsight if I look back on myself I'm being a hypocrite because I feel like I did this to a guy in college that I was seeing and I was just very inconsistent with him and I wanted him when I wanted him and I didn't when I didn't and like there would just be weekends where like I would see him with another girl and he would be flirting with her and I had kind of dumped him lightly and then I would be like oh I want him back and then the next thing a good thing came around I was like oh goodbye and like I just toyed with his emotions and I didn't think it was healthy or nice and I regret that and being in college I do think that's where you can like get that kind of like energy out but it just seems like this guy is actually being like he's actually being quite straightforward in the most non-straightforward way um so yeah my advice to you is move on and and go for someone that knows they want you and go for someone that and go for someone that respects you enough to be honest and have a kid and have a conversation with you rather than just like skirt around the bush and kind of leave you like wondering because what the fuck