Gwyneth Paltrow: The Ultimate Dating Roster (FBF)

0:02What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with call her daddy. Gwyneth Paltrow, welcome to Call Her Daddy. Thank you very much. I am so happy you're here. How is it feeling? How are the vibes? The vibes are A triple plus. I mean, it's gorgeous. The marble table, the colors, it's very soothing. Thank you. Because I know you're very into like home design yourself. Yes. How would you describe your style? I think I always like a traditional frame so you know like walls fixtures floors I like it to feel like there's some history and some provenance with it I think I always gravitate towards a house where like the bones are more traditional that's like I always want cozy vibes I actually designed this the pink color in this room is the exact color that I have in my closet and so I wanted it to feel like we were kind of at my house but I wanted to bring a little bit of me to the studio which is very fun this actually this this wall color is very similar to our goop office wall color right yeah you don't want like a hot pink like I needed to get away from the hot pink I was like I feel like I'm a little hot topic I'm a little in college still like I have elevated a little bit ladies give me some credit major but need to have it like classy but still fun let's talk about you though oh boy so i love how so apple is here your daughter and you guys walk in and apple is like roaster go for it and i was like gwyneth paltrow's coming on the show guys like let's keep it classy and then apple was like oh ask her everything i'm like oh thank you apple for letting me go in

2:02so you're an entrepreneur you're a mother and you're an actress you won an academy award at 26 years old how did winning an oscar at such a young age impact the way that you viewed and felt about your career well i guess i should start by saying like i was so driven like i was working so hard and I didn't know exactly what I was working towards. I just wanted to be successful and to be well regarded. And I, you know, was kind of on this really fast track and it all kind of happened so quickly, which is what I think you're alluding to. And then for somebody like me who, you know I think I was working through a lot of the harder parts of my growing up through achieving success and once I won the Oscar it put me into a little bit of an identity crisis because if you win the biggest prize like what are you supposed to do and where are you supposed to go I also it was hard like the amount of attention that you receive on a night like that in the weeks following is so disorienting and, and, and frankly, really unhealthy.

3:23I was like, this is, this is crazy. Like, I don't know if I can, I don't know what to do. I don't know which way is, is up. And so I think it was a lot. And then I also, you know, not that I would give it back or anything like it was an amazing experience, but it kind of called a lot of things into question for me. And then I think because I hadn't done a lot of healing work yet, I was like, well, now I need to, you know, what am I going to do? Where am I going to, how am I going to continue to achieve? Do you mind sharing, like when you're referencing, like you were working towards solving things in your past?

3:58Yeah. Do you mind sharing what you're talking about? Yeah, sure. I mean, I think, you know, we all go through traumatic things in our childhood and, you know, I think our parents especially my parents generation that had a very different orientation around parenting it's like you know apple and her brother are like you know I kind of revolve around them and um and and hopefully not to their detriment but I think it was I grew up in a generation where there wasn't that orientation and I think you know we we moved a lot to move with my mom when she was working which also of course had great things but it was you know it could be very it could feel destabilizing and I think there was there were also like really high standards prescribed to me in my house I don't even know if my parents were conscious they were doing it but I always felt like I had to prove on some level that I was worth something that I was lovable and not only for my parents but I think just from the culture that I was growing up in no I get what you're saying and I think that's something I've been realizing in therapy is like of course we can look at how our parents fucked us up like I don't think there's anyone on the planet that's like my parents were absolutely perfect like but I do think generationally yeah it's also important to look at not to give them a free pass but like they don't have the tools that we now have like therapy wasn't even a conversation mental health wasn't even a conversation so even you saying like I don't even think they were aware of the pressure they were putting on me it it does make sense now especially if you are in therapy or working on yourself like the past generations to me it's it's very apparent as like what they were lacking and how fortunate we are now to have conversations with like you having with your children when you talk about having this like almost like crisis of like you win this oscar everyone's looking at you you're this beautiful young woman how do you think that impacted like your self-worth at the time i felt a real pivot on that night because i felt like up until that moment everybody was kind of rooting for me in a way.

6:15And then when I won, it was like too much, you know, and, and I could feel a real turn. And I remember, I was working in England a lot at the time, for some reason, I was doing all my movies in the UK. And I remember the British press being so horrible to me, because I cried, you know, and they didn't necessarily know that, you know, my grandfather was dying of cancer, my dad who was in the audience with me was like, had just had all this crazy cancer treatment, and he was really debilitated and it was just this totally overwhelming moment and you know I was 26 like I cried and people were so mean about it and I just thought like wow there's this big energy shift that's happening and I think I'm gonna have to learn to be less open-hearted and much more protective of myself and filter people out better it was like this big reckoning in a way when I think back to the 90s I think it's so funny that so many trends are coming back like Apple just walked in and just like mom look I'm wearing your shirt from the night it's like everything is making comebacks but the one thing that I feel like never went out of style and I have to say it is Brad Pitt I have to say it I agree how did you meet Brad Pitt because you guys were like the hottest couple okay how did you meet brad i met brad on the set of seven and i think i was only 22 years old at the time and i i had seen him in thelma and louise and like whatever the other movies he had been in so obviously everyone knew he was like the most gorgeous movie star in america and i got this little part in seven and i was so excited to meet him and Morgan Freeman, who I had like grown up adoring as an actor.

8:10And we we got we sort of said hi on set. And it was like major, major love at first sight. It was crazy. I just got chills. The fact that you get to be like, I had love at first sight with Brad Pitt and it was mutual. OK, Gwyneth, no big fucking deal. So you eventually got engaged. Yes. to Brad how did he propose and how did you initially feel about him proposing well we went out for we would have been going out for like I felt like a long time and I was like ready to get married and I was like ready and we were in Argentina he was filming a movie down there and I had gone down there for most of it and I was like making dinner and you know hanging out with him.

8:58And one night we were kind of on the balcony of this house we were renting in this little town in Argentina. And I wish I remembered exactly what he said, but he proposed. It was fantastic. I was thrilled. And were you surprised or did you know this was coming? Did you guys talk about it? We had talked about it, but I was surprised in the moment. I remember that. And how old were you at this point? I must have been 24. Oh my gosh. So I know I've read that you ended the engagement with Brad because you were like, I was too young. I was not ready to get married. And I feel like when you are in love, I don't care what age, sometimes you can be so in it that you don't see big picture.

9:44How did you realize that you were not ready to get married? well I had a lot of development left to do looking back in hindsight like you know in a lot of ways I didn't really fully start to come into myself until I was like 40 years old and I had such a pleasing issue like I I didn't even really understand how to listen to my instincts and act from that place like for what was right for me I was always trying to adjudicate like what's right for everybody else you know being the sort of thermostat in the room like oh you know it's getting a little uncomfortable like let me cool it down like it's getting cold let me warm things up and always sort of outsourcing that and not not really um giving myself like the dignity of being close to myself, you know, and so when I look back, you know, I, I think I was really a kid, like really more so than a lot of 22 or 23 or 24 year olds I would meet now, you know, I really had not explored who I was, what was important to me, what my boundaries were, anything like that.

11:04And so I was totally heartbroken when we broke up but it was just you know the right thing at that time but it was really it was really hard when you say you broke up like did is that how you explained it to him like I'm too young like I can't do this no it was like there were sort of a number of things that had happened and also he was nine years older than I am I guess he's still nine years older than me. And so he was like far more, he knew what he wanted. He was like ready to do it. And I was kind of all over the place. And so it was really like one of those difficult things where I felt like, oh my God, I'm not, I'm not only am I not ready, but I'm not like living up to the standards again.

11:48You know, it was like a familiar refrain that I felt about myself. when you think back to that time period like what questions do you think people should be asking themselves if they're wondering like am I ready to get married because like I know there's a lot of young women listening that it's like oh maybe I am like how will I know like do you have any advice I think that as women we know on such a deep level what is right for us and so it's really just a matter of how many layers we've put on top of that. And I do think we're socialized as women in this country to not do that. Like we don't tune in and really listen to ourselves.

12:36And so I would say the best thing is like to work on your friendship with yourself. The closer you are to yourself, then the more decisions you will make from that place. And that will be the right decision. anytime I have a deep conversation with my friend whether it was like she stayed in a relationship too long or I was in a toxic relationship you always kind of know you know and like I really feel like a woman's intuition is never wrong like when you're feeling something's off a lot of the times we're just not acting on ending something or doing something for ourselves because there's a layer like you said of something prohibiting us from making that decision whether it's like the societal issues of like we're living in this patriarchal society and you're like I want to please the man and it's been so ingrained like whatever it is usually it's actually you know the truth you just have to be in tuned with yourself that takes a lot of time though yes and one layer of complexity I would add is that you know when I look back and I think this is pretty pervasive.

13:37Like most of us are sort of replaying relationship, that dynamic out in our romantic life that we had with our most difficult parental relationship. Like Kerry Washington said to me the other day, there's only one letter difference between parent and partner. And which I thought was you know a very succinct way of articulating it because you know that's something that I did for sure in my romantic relationships and and some people don't do that and you know they're attaching in really healthy ways but you know those are things to keep in the back of your mind too like am I trying to work something out with this person that's really my own work because a lot of times that means you shouldn't be with that person you should go do your work and then find somebody that's going to really uplift you because most of the time when you're in a situation with someone that you're trying to play out like your issues with your dad or your issues with your mom you're right then when you actually go to the work you wouldn't go back to that partner you're like wait no no that actually doesn't work for me at all that's right I'm interested to also know about Brad and then we're moving on but like actually let's do the whole episode about Brad um when you're since you're in this Hollywood sphere of like it's a pretty close-knit group how did you guys like move on and like I'm sure you saw each other at parties and like had to socialize in moments like was it awkward for you and like do you guys would it's not awkward now obviously but like how did you go about running into each other yeah right they always say like Hollywood is like high school with money it's like kind of true which is probably why I didn't live here for so long um I remember seeing him this is so crazy like because I was so I was like heartbroken and so upset you know and then I remember the first time I saw him I was presenting at the academy me the year after i won and i like walked out and i was like i was so cognizant of him being there and i was like oh my god this is so scary and so awkward because he's probably like in almost front row yeah he was like right there and we hadn't talked in like a couple years you're like i would be like i'm basically giving a speech to my ex i know and i was like i think i even fumbled my words I was like yeah I hope that's on YouTube so I can go watch that after this all of a sudden it's gonna like spike ups like oh my god it was like the year after I won yeah it was crazy I know he's a great guy he's um he's just he's wonderful I really like him a lot yeah casual okay another relationship you had was with Ben Affleck which is like I'm sitting here being like you have the most stacked roster of any person that has ever come on call her daddy Gwyneth I'm not kidding I'm like no one has sat in a chair and I'm like Brad Pitt Ben Affleck I'm like what tell us your tips my actual question was this do you think that all of your exes have bought your vagina candle they want to really relive the good times that's what it's there for can you imagine someone's like going into Brad Pitt's house and like is that Gwyneth's vagina candle what the fuck okay we're gonna play a game okay Brad or Ben it'll be fun okay Brad no I didn't even ask a question oh I thought that was the question Brad or Ben okay it's so good okay okay okay now overall it's Brad now

17:43okay who had better style oh my gosh i'm going back back in time now trying to assess wardrobes Um, probably Brad. Mm-hmm. Okay. Who was more romantic? Um, Brad. I'm like, Brad, Brad. Who was more likely to make you laugh? Ben. Who were you more likely to get into an argument with? Ben. Who was more high maintenance? Gosh, that's a really good question. I'm not sure I would characterize either of them as high maintenance. They were both like pretty. Yeah. Okay. Who cared more about their appearance? Oh.

18:35I'm not sure. I feel like they're neither of them were very vain like that. Like I'm not attracted to guys who are like looking in the mirror the whole time. You little scruff. Like a little like little scruff. although Ben did have like a mirror face that he would throw at the mirror you have to do it for us like I can't really remember but it's sort of like you know like uh he had a funny mirror face I think he was joking though okay okay who was a better kisser oh my god let me think gosh I have to remember so far back they were both good kissers okay who was better in bed

19:18that's really hard that is really hard because like brad was like the sort of major chemistry love of your life kind of like at the time you know um and then like ben was like technically excellent

19:40holy fuck i can't believe my daughter's listening to this technically yeah excellent yeah holy fuck god bless j-lo and everything she's getting over there oh my god that's amazing okay last question okay this is really gonna cause some issues am i blushing i am oh my gosh who is the better actor oh wow hmm I mean

20:16they're both so talented I feel like and Ben is a great writer and director but I guess I would probably have to say acting alone Brad like if you think of all the really different roles he's done Ben is great too they're both great I mean you've got great exes Like you can't really go wrong. You know what I mean? And those are just the ones you know about. Oh, well, we're going to get to that. You can't tease me here, Gwyneth, and not expect. I was going to ask, you know, we know a lot of your exes. But would you be willing to maybe drop a name of someone you've like even had a makeout with that's A-list that like the world doesn't know about?

20:59I don't think I could say the name.

21:06names what about a little leo action no never made out with leo never he tried back in the day but he was already like you know he was very doing his thing loose with the goods like from when he was 19 what about johnny depp never made out with him we did a movie together but we did not make out bradley cooper no i don't even know bradley cooper i mean i've met him but i've never like yeah yeah yeah you know okay well we're gonna have to sidebar you have to tell me one that i can like hold close to the chest i'll tell you after okay okay you also dated and married chris martin one of the biggest musicians in the world yep shout out coldplay love him out we are gonna do a little one last game okay fuck marry kill broad pit ben avleck and chris martin wow well obviously i'd marry chris martin because he gave me my two children who are the loves of my life so i would do that all again

22:22um wow but kill is so that's such a hardcore it's not actually it's like put to the wayside okay i can fuck one more time i think we know your answer i think brad yeah yeah and then ben yeah god bless ben god bless him god bless him it is dunkin donuts um okay what initially attracted you to Chris? So Chris and I met. It's a funny story. I was a huge Coldplay fan when his first album Parachutes came out and I loved it. I was doing a movie in London again as usual and I was kind of had the TV on in the background and he was playing. They were playing at Glastonbury and when I heard the music and I like you know had this very powerful reaction to it.

23:11I was like this is incredible and I watched their whole thing and I was like this band is going to be huge and no one had really heard of them in America at the time. I remember coming home and like telling everyone about this great band and they said you know they're going to be playing this teeny show I think it was maybe at the Bowery Ballroom or something so I went with Mary my best friend from kindergarten that I was telling you about and because I was there I someone wrote in the newspaper that we were dating we had never met um and it was I was like what like you know he's like five years younger than me and I was like please I'm not like we're not dating I just went to this thing and we thought and then but they kept writing it all summer all summer all summer and then that fall my dad died unfortunately in sort of a surprising way and my brother and I were listening to that parachutes record I mean not parachutes uh Russia blood to the head to say all the time all the time and I remember I had called Mary and I said like I need you to get I need you to come to London like I I can't breathe without my dad I don't know what you know to do and so she came over and then someone reminded me we had had tickets to go see Coldplay that night but from you know months before my dad died and I was like I can't go and she was like Gwynny like please we can't like we have to get you out of the house and get some air even if it's just for and it was really hard for her too because my dad was like her dad and she's like you've got to stop smoking cigarettes we've got to get out of here and I was like okay and so we went and because they had been writing that we were boyfriend and girlfriend you know his his assistant Vicky who we still love to this day she was like she came and said like oh hi this is so crazy you want to go meet your boyfriend you know after the show so we went backstage and um we met and he was just so sweet and like I met him when he was like 25 and I had just turned 30 and he was like Tigger the Tiger you know bouncing around and I really didn't even think we would go out but I don't know he called me and asked me to come to Ireland to see him and go to a show and I was so depressed so my and I remember my other friend Henrietta at this time saying you know she was like I said this is crazy this kid from Coldplay asked me to go you know see his concert like this is nuts like I'm not going and she's like yeah you've got to go this is the first time you've smiled since your dad died oh my god so I went how was your relationship with Chris different from all of your like previous relationships well you know there was just something I don't know I think there are certain things that kind of have felt preordained in my life and like my my children feel like to me like the whole reason I'm on this earth and so when I met him there was a very deep thing there and I couldn't quite put my finger on it because it felt very different than my other relationships and it's not so much that the relationship itself um turned out to be like healthier than my other relationships it's just that I think I had this deep calling on some level I knew he was going to be the father of my kids maybe or something oh my god it was very it was a very strong feeling yeah I'm interested to know too like you know you mentioned that right before you kind of met Chris like a few weeks prior your dad had passed yeah three weeks before how did that impact do you think like the early days of your relationship I mean I was broken I was my father was you know like I just adored him and he was like you know my my teacher my rabbi that he was like the comedian he was like so unconditionally loving and he was the center of all of our my whole family kind of centered on him so when he died you know I was completely like decimated um and so I was very raw and very open you know didn't totally have my like I couldn't see straight like I was in full full grief I don't I don't know how Chris kind of like dealt with me through that time yeah because I'm interested like I think loss is there's no way to describe like how you're going to grieve and thinking about like meeting Chris falling in love while also like deeply grieving yeah those are like very opposite emotional head spaces to be in and when you look back do you think that affected your perception of like of the relationship at all probably I don't see how it couldn't have like I was so altered and so destroyed I I can't imagine it didn't you know and I can't imagine that I didn't project like hope and safety and future you know onto him because I was in such a bad state yeah so we talked about how you were engaged at one point to shout out Brad and then you eventually who doesn't love Brad you love Brad we all love Brad I love how it's like Brad or Ben this is about to be a game you're like brad i'm like wait i didn't play the game we all love brad shout out brad you know we love you so you got engaged and you said you weren't ready to be married right you marry chris how did you know when it was time to end a marriage and to move on with your life well it was interesting because again like being so driven by this like feeling of the impending children like Like I got pregnant really quickly and had our kids like in pretty quick succession.

29:13And so then you're sort of thrown into like I was like in grief and then I had Apple and then I had Moses. And then I think you just try to make it work, especially for me. you know I don't like barely I think we have one you know barely any divorce in our family all of my best friends from you know elementary school high school they're all married to like their college sweetheart like no one I wasn't around to like I just felt like it was such a failure and it and even contemplating us not being together and I I was so worried about it for the kids and for what it said about me and it was so hard and then you know I I really wanted something very different to what he wanted and and I felt very um kind of lonely in the marriage in a lot of ways and um and I just finally got to the point where I thought like you know I need to, I need to listen to myself.

30:26And so, you know, it wasn't until right after I turned, you know, it was a kind of around, it was sort of like around 38 that I started to sense that the marriage wasn't going to last. And then I tried really hard for another couple of years but you know I say this all the time because it's true you get this software upgrade when you turn 40 like you just get an upgrade like you wake up and your software is fucking upgraded and you're like wow this is bizarre like I don't care what anybody thinks of me like I like myself like you click into this thing and that happens again when you're 50 by the way and it's so it's so it feels like you feel whole and I just realized like I I need to not be in this I need I need something else and it's okay if I'm alone and it's okay if I disappoint people and it's okay if I never find anyone again all the things that you're so worried about you know when you're contemplating divorce and I I chose myself I love that and thank you for sharing because I don't even like no matter where you're at in your life I do feel like it kind of goes back to what you said of like we know when we're not happy when we're not feeling it when it's not right anymore doesn't mean it wasn't right right but like we keep growing and we keep evolving as individuals and naturally sometimes that means you're gonna outgrow a partner or you're going to outgrow something that you initially were attracted to and I think that's okay and I think especially as women it's like a very negative feeling and shameful feeling you have on yourself if it's you the one that's having those feelings because I feel like we always learned like men will leave and men will do this but if it's you like it has been a pretty like new concept that like oh my god you can leave a marriage like you can stand up for yourself you can have a voice so I appreciate you sharing that because it is in some way inspirational to just know like Like you have these incredible children.

32:33You had a healthy marriage at one point. And then it's time to move on. And that's OK. It is OK. It is OK. And it's like not what you want. And it's not when you get married, it's not what you hope for. But it's OK if it's not the right thing anymore. And for me, it really then became about, is it possible to stay a family with this person that I really love? And I wanted to minimize the impact on our children, which, of course, they're impacted and divorce is terrible. And I know it was really hard on them. But I wanted it to be as least, you know, like I wanted to try to figure out a way that Chris and I could stay like real family, which we have.

33:22The last question I have on that is like, has it gotten easier to co-parent? Like in the beginning, I can imagine it's like any family feels it. Like it's a little rockier, like trying to get your footing. And then eventually does it get to a place where like it does feel more cohesive? If you work on it, like you really have to work at it. And I think you have to choose every day to remember the good in the person, why you love them, you know, hold them with a lot of love and respect and cultivate that, especially on days that you don't feel that because you feel, you know, wronged or angry or whatever it is, you know.

34:05And, and so it became a practice for me to remember all the ways in which, you know, Chris was a blessing in my life. And, you know, and like, there are just things about him that are so fantastic. And he's so funny, and he's so talented, and he's goofy, and we all laugh a lot. And so I tried to really focus on those things, and then also use the opportunity to focus on my side of the street, and what I had not done well, and what I could learn and you know the ways in which I hurt him and the ways you know so it was a it was a big I think you know it's probably best said like I really milked the opportunity I didn't you know it's like a divorce sounds weird to say it's opportunity but I really wanted to learn as much as possible and I wanted to grow as much as I possibly could out of it yeah I kind of feel like a theme today is just like knowing what's best for yourself yeah and you played a vital role in starting the me too movement and you were very open about your experience how did you decide to come forward and talk about everything it was scary because you know I had grown up watching the women who had spoken out be reviled rejected you know pilloried in the town square and I had never seen a model where a woman could speak out and there would be repercussions that weren't were on the man and not on the woman and so this was a story that you know everybody it was like this the worst kept secret um not that harvey weinstein was raping people but you know that he was sort of crossing boundaries and trying stuff on and we all kind of knew that was happening and like my story had happened to 10 of my friends you know um but when i had learned the full extent of what he had done through my cooperation with the new york times and talking to jody and megan who are two incredible women, incredible investigative journalists.

36:28I just thought, you know, this has got to stop. And I felt like if maybe there was a chance it could impact the workplace for my daughter and her friends, like I felt really obligated to say something.

37:01I appreciate also just how open you are about your experiences and kind of speaking about like you know raising children now in this new era as like women that can have a voice like how do you talk to I guess both of your kids about like dating and sex and relationships I mean I think you have to tread lightly and let them come to you i remember my kids both went to this fantastic elementary school here in los angeles once we moved from london and they taught them sex ed in sixth grade which yeah like okay i just but i really was not prepared with the information that they came home with what did they say i will never forget apple and her best friend emily sitting at our kitchen banquet in shock like color drained from their face they taught them everything everything anything you're thinking they taught like the 11 12 year olds told them everything what i swear and what are they saying to you like uh mom they're like do people do this like it was beyond you're like you know what one day you'll hear a little bit more of this uncalled her daddy apple exactly it will be in a more appropriate well that's what i was gonna say then you took over so i didn't have to tell her anything holy shit so i'm in hawaii And I'm walking to the elevator with my boyfriend We're staying at a resort And I see this girl sprinting down the hallway with a bag And I'm like what is going on I think she's beelining it to me It is a fan of mine And she hands me a goop bag And there was there's like a goop store in this Hawaii resort Yes the Mauna Lani Shout out So I'm like oh thank you She's like I love you like you've taught me so much Like I want you to enjoy your vacation And winks at me So I go upstairs and I open it and it's a beautiful vibrator.

39:06And I was like, oh my God, this is incredible. And then immediately I'm like, thanks to Gwyneth. Like, because I hadn't brought a vibrator on this trip. And it was used and it was used again. It was great. It was a great time. It was a great time. I thought you were going to say, I thought you just said like, meaning you opened the box and it was used and I just died. And this vibrator was fully used. Fuck you. No, no, I used it on my trip. Okay, thank you. It was phenomenal. and so I'm curious to know because I'm a big advocate for toys and vibrators especially for women we have like obviously a harder time getting off when is the first time you used a vibrator wow um probably when sex in the city came out and you know Samantha was talking about like everyone I remember like you would go to a bridal shower and like they're all of a sudden there were vibrators like as party favors and it's almost like they stopped being party favors and they need to be again because i remember in college being like i think i need one this is disgusting well it's not i started to use the back of my electric toothbrush because i didn't know where to get a vibrator at the time gwyneth yeah thanks to goop now we know where to go but at the time it was like i'll get a new toothbrush in the morning like this is desperate times goals for desperate measures and there i was with a good old back of the toothbrush i didn't use it in the morning everyone don't come for me why do you think women are so intimidated though by vibrators well you know this is a very this this could be like a very long discussion i mean there's such um systemic shame for women historically around pleasure and we are to your point we do live in a patriarchal society the paradigms aren't there for female pleasure and so we've been taught to be like ashamed of it not ask for things not ask not say like this feels good or this doesn't feel good and this is why at goop we have really kind of indexed into this area because I really feel like it holds us back so much it's this one area where and look I like I'm still not comfortable talking about like this is inculcated in for decades like it's and i'm so happy when i see it changing in your generation and apples like and this sort of freedom around the idea that women deserve pleasure it makes me so happy to see that but it has not always been that way you're so right the shame comes from obviously as women it's never been celebrated to like pleasure yourself you hear about like men or boys when you're younger it's like oh he's just touching himself oh girl it's like stop doing that like it's wrong just do it secretly so now I love though I agree that like it can be cute and fun and clean and not scary and veiny and too large that you're like that's bigger than my thigh like what is happening so no I really appreciate that you have what you've done because now I have my little baby purple little like bullet vibrator in it I use it all the time I don't know if that freaks you out but not at all not in the slightest okay Gwyneth what is the craziest place that you've had sex um I mean I've never I don't know I've been famous for so long that like you're getting you know well I think one time back in the day I did it in the in an airplane bathroom on an overnight flight to Paris would you would you drop the name of who it was with it wasn't anyone famous okay isn't that terrible it's amazing no I'm like I want the tea I'm like oh that won't make headlines no I'm just kidding no that's great okay so you were when you were famous you were having sex with normal men yeah you're you're a woman of the people I was yeah of course how would you meet normal guys though and like not be freaked out well well that's a good point I mean you know do you know like I missed the whole dating app thing and all of that like I totally missed that um like one normal guy I dated when I was famous was you know friends with my friends growing up in New York like that kind of thing there were I think I dated like one or two you're gonna tell us who that other a-lister is at some point by the end of this interview okay you started a wellness brand but you did this before it was cool to like start a wellness brand how did you come up with the concept of goop well I think kind of circling back to where we started by the time I had Apple I felt like I really needed a break from acting I had worked like non-stop for years and years and years running running running and I had her and And I had like one of these moments in life and, you know, we had like a really crazy birth.

44:16It was very dramatic. And I kind of at some point passed out after having a seizure. Anyway, I woke up and I opened my eyes and these like giant blue eyes were looking right at me. We were like this. and I was like this is this is it this is it and Drew Barrymore actually said this to me the best where she said when she looked into her daughter Olive's eyes she had the same thing and then she said to Olive later I was born the day you were born it always makes me cry it's true but that's how I felt and like I didn't I I was like I don't know what I'm gonna I don't want to leave this baby I don't want to go back to work and luckily I was in a position where I could take some time off with so many women in this country cannot do and in Scandinavia they do it in places like that but we are not good at that so I was very fortunate and the longer I didn't work the more I started to call into question like wait was I doing that because I really loved it was it like and I gave myself the space to kind of contemplate if I wanted to go back or not ended up not doing a movie for like three years I had my son and then I went back a little bit to do like smaller parts and Iron Man and stuff like that but I actually never starred in a movie again since I was pregnant with Apple like we were in my last starring role together and then I did something which I think I would really encourage women to do which is at some point stop and say like am I where am I where I'm supposed to be am I doing what I love am I spending my life feeling fulfilled and am I brave enough to give myself permission to do something different if I want to and I knew that if I started a company I would take a lot of shit for it and people be like what is she doing and there was no model for this except for the great Jane Fonda who had you know done her fitness business but also took a ton of shit for that at the time they called into question like her seriousness as an actress like everybody likes us in one little box you know but I was really interested in this other space which was really essentially like connecting people to great things that would make their lives better and I was I had always been that person for my friends like what temperature do I roast a chicken at like where can I get a bikini wax in Paris like you know and I thought god you know I love answering these questions so much I love doing the research I love figuring it out like maybe I could do this as a job and so percolated for a long long long long time and I got a lot of advice from different people and that's when I thought okay I'll just start it as a newsletter and then we'll see how it goes and it was unmonetized it was just you know I just was sending content out and it stayed like that for probably five years until I had the guts to start to think around monetization and and what I would do it's amazing to hear you also explain it because I I agree with you like when you immediately said Jane Fonda as you were talking I was thinking about Jane Fonda because I'm like it's so crazy that as you're trying to put something together that had never been done your first reaction even though like you knew you wanted to do it you we immediately think like oh my god everyone's gonna shit on me like they want me to just be just be an actress like just stay in your lane that's right and it's so detrimental because that's so not the only thing that you are talented with and that also that you're interested in and so I love the story because it shows full circle of you putting into action an idea you had and then obviously creating something so much bigger that also is so helpful to so many women including myself what is one goop product that you wish you had in your 20s that now you're suggesting to apple and her friends like you need this this is real because when i was in my 20s i lay in the sun with baby oil on my face I never use sunscreen believe me I'm paying that price now thank you I'll give you my surgeons please but actually please so I wish that I had taken greater care of my skin earlier and what's so great now is that we've come so far with product development and because clean beauty is a huge thing for me like obviously that's why one of the main reasons we started goop i was appalled at the levels of toxicity in beauty products that are largely unregulated we put all over our skin they're transdermally absorbed they mess with our endocrine systems they're like real toxicity levels and a lot of stuff that we think is safe and that just drives me crazy yeah so i saw a real white space, you know, to create these products.

49:42And, um, and anyway, like for the women out there now, like, look, I would recommend, I mean, we have this new eye cream that's coming out right now. That's so incredible. And it's like packed full of vitamin C and it's got caffeine and niacinamide and it works so well. And it's very preventative as well. So I can use it for my crow's feet and my dark circles and apple can use it preventatively i love it i need it we brought you one oh thank you thank you you recently also launched the goop sex instagram channel yes what's a conversation that you're looking forward to having on that page well again like just to sort of traverse back over what we were saying it's so important for women to have places that they can you know, and resources.

50:32And like, that's why what you do is so fantastic in terms of destigmatization, creating a space where women can explore these questions and these feelings and like the normalization. It's really beautiful. And I'm so glad that you do what you do. And we really felt like, you know, there's more to explore here in terms of questions people have, products etc so we thought we'd make a dedicated page you know I learned from the goop sex page like I'm like wow what what is this I love that one of my last questions is I was just thinking about this for a second like what do you think is a misconception about you I think there are probably a few I think like like maybe not as much anymore but I think like there was the misconception like that I that me and goop that we together were like wacky or you know like dealing in pseudoscience which is such bullshit and like we're actually so rigorous around like what we're talking about and and sometimes we talk about really cutting edge things but we really label the content as that so we're not saying this is fact we're saying like this is an emerging theory or something so I think that's a way to keep um also the power of the brand down right so it's like if you're threatening the status quo like people used to throw that at us a lot what about personally I think I can maybe come off or look quite cold maybe or like unapproachable I've heard but I think I'm really opposite to that like I do think I'm so curious about people and I think I'm warm but when you walked into my house I was like oh my gosh hi we like hugged and I was like I felt like a part of the family when Apple walked in I'm like oh we're all going to hang like you yeah I can dispel that rumor now I have a gift for you really well it's kind of a yeah I'm gonna give it to you it's Brad No, no, no.

52:47I saw a comment you made. Okay, wait. I saw a comment you made on the internet. Okay. And I wanted to gift you this. What did I say? Oh, my God. I always, you know, me and my internet comments. Oh, my God. Oh, this is so good. I hope you got one for Apple, too. Oh, my God. I should. Love it. I saw your comment on Haley. This is so good. I'm going to wear this loud and proud. I truly love it. No, Gwenna, thank you so much for coming on. This was truly so fun. It wasn't it wasn't too aggressive, right? Not at all. It was you had a good time. I'll check in with her and see what Apple has to say about it.

53:34Apple, we're going to walk in is like this. No, seriously, thank you for coming on. This was so fun. Thank you for having me. Thank you. Thank Thank you so much. That was really fun. That was so fun. I am dying laughing. You are comedy.