Holiday Parties & High School Reunions (ft. Laren)

0:02What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call her daddy. Daddy gang, welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. I am joined today by my lovely best friend, a fan favorite, Lauren McMullen, or as I call her, Laren. Hello, daddy gang. We were just laughing because we rarely do this when we podcast together. We've never podcasted with like notes or a laptop. but something came over us and maybe it's because it's like the holiday season. We like really wanted to come prepared and give the gift of a little bit of an organized episode. It's still going to be a little unhinged, but Lauren and I wanted to talk about Thanksgiving this year together because what better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than you guys popping on an episode of color daddy and hanging out with Lauren and I, I'm so aware that some of you could be alone today.

0:59Maybe you fucking hate your family. Maybe you love your family and you're listening to this with your family regardless we are here for you so let's just get into it we haven't even talked about this what are you going to be doing for Thanksgiving this year so I'm doing two Thanksgivings this year I'm doing one in Louisiana in the middle of November and then I'm doing one in Pennsylvania on actual Thanksgiving oh wow wasn't entirely planned to do two Thanksgivings I've never done two Thanksgivings before but um I guess we'll just rip the band-aid off in the first minute of the episode. I recently went through a breakup and the plan was to spend Thanksgiving with my ex-boyfriend's family.

1:40So I was going to do with my own family in the middle of November and then go celebrate with his family on actual Thanksgiving. So now I'm just celebrating Thanksgiving twice with both sides of my family. Okay. Well, I'm going to be honest. I don't think there is a better holiday to have two of than Thanksgiving because it's just meaning that you're getting to eat really good food so I feel like that's kind of a blessing I'm not like really complaining what are you doing what you're hosting and okay that wasn't supposed to be the plan thank you thank you I was not supposed to be hosting this year I was very very adamant about not hosting I think I talked about this on an episode before but I'm I'm a good host but I really have to be in the mood and I think there's no escape for you oh there is no escape and you're like an escape artists at like a party.

2:25Yes. Like I like to relax and I like to get out when I want to get out. And I feel like Matt and I've been so busy that holidays are so important to me. Like I really, really want to spend time with him and I want to be present. And I know that when you're hosting, you can't really be present with each other. Like I'm not going to be sitting on Matt's lap, like making out with him and like shoving cornbread in my face. Like I'm going to be making sure everyone is like situated and their plates are filled and like we're eating last. and like so the plan was how did you how did you get like cornered into this right so like why the fuck am I hosting yeah so I think we were first initially saying don't host because we thought like my family was coming to and we thought it was gonna be like a couple years ago it was literally like 40 something people it was fucking insane and we had people inside and outside and it was just overwhelming now this year Matt's mom called us and was like you guys it's literally just our internal side of the family on math side like my family staying on the east coast this year so it's gonna be smaller so first she was gonna be hosting and then all of a sudden Matt and I were like should we just offer like I felt bad because our house is a very good hosting house your house is very conducive to hosting you got the inside you got the outside you got the outdoor heaters you got the outdoor bar oh yeah we definitely set ourselves up to host so I think we just had a moment where we're like why are we making your mom do this like let's just fucking take it once you get over the mental hump of hosting not that I host many things I feel like once you get over the mental hump then you can kind of start to get cozy and be like well now I get to pick exactly the foods I want I get to pick exactly the vibe and the people and like now you can just like own it and make it exactly what you want no you're right and there was also something about like mentally for a minute thinking that Matt's mom was doing it now that it's like I don't know why but it's something like knowing someone else was gonna do it and now it's back on me I am less stressed than the whole time it had been like Matt and Alex are hosting this entire year now it's kind of like who gives a fuck where it is let's just like last minute if I don't have matching things it doesn't matter there's no decor I'm taking one for the team I'm doing this for you so like no judgment okay so what's your menu oh what's my menu yeah I'm not thought that far ahead oh no Matt's mom is gonna be cooking everything Matt's mom and Matt's sister will be doing all the cooking and Matt and I always to every single family event we bring the alcohol we are not the chefs in the family but I have the menu in terms of like what I want to eat yeah what do you want to eat are we going over like our favorite Thanksgiving foods yeah yeah it hit me we've never talked about this as friends and I feel like we I feel like we kind of have different food palates when it like things we like if we go to a restaurant we're good because true we'll do a group order and we're always aligned but for some reason I feel like we're not about to be aligned on this okay so my favorite like should I just do like top favorite Thanksgiving foods okay first are you a sides person or are you a main course person I'm a sides person I think that's the obvious answer like you're a main course person like yeah what the fuck are you doing it's like you're like you're looking forward to the appetizers when you're at a dinner more than you're looking to the main event okay so I would say I'm the sides person I would say I couldn't number one on my list and I know this is controversial maybe is stuffing I am a stuffing girl through and through are you a stuffing girl it's low that's pretty low on my list I feel like stuffings can go wrong really quick and they can be dried no I am I was like I don't want to be come off as high maintenance but my mother-in-law loves to cook for me like you were here and she was like she brought us a pumpkin pie and was like girls texting you later like how's the pie how's the pie did you try the pie she loves to cook for me and I remember it was like the first Thanksgiving I was doing with Matt and I'm such a fucking freak about stuffing and I remember I was like whispering to Matt before we went to his mom's I'm like I just like feel like you've been kind of telling me your family doesn't like emphasize carbs as much and like stuffing and I'm really getting anxious because like I'm a carb family like I love my mashed potatoes.

6:16Matt's family is healthy so I would be anxious going in and be like are you gonna be doing like a gluten free stuffing? I was like just to cut the carbs. Lauren I was absolutely on the edge of my seat being like I don't want to fucking miss out on a good Thanksgiving if you guys are doing healthy like let me know and I'll go to Boston Market pick up a couple little side. Bring my own. Exactly And so his mom for my first Thanksgiving made two different stuffings to complete. That's when you know. That's when you know. She was so nice. And I remember trying. What was the difference between the two?

6:47One was way more like fat, fat kid. And it was just like doused in everything. Greasing butter and like all the things. And then the one that was like somewhat healthier that other people were eating was actually pretty phenomenal. But she's a great cook. But overall, stuffing number one, I would say creamed corn, the sweet potatoes with the marshmallows on top. Oh, that's my number one. I have to have the good cornbread. The thing is, with Thanksgiving food, you guys, I'm someone that dips it all together. Like, I'm going to get my turkey or my ham. Oh, you hate that. And they can't touch. I'm not the weird person who's like, oh, my God, my food can't touch.

7:22But, like, I do not mix it all around. I'll go back three times because I'll do like little ventures so they stay in their sections. You're not going to get a little turkey with gravy and put a little like mashed potatoes on it. Gravy and turkey. That's normal. But like a little stuffing on like with it. No, no, no, no, no, no. Please fucking comment down below. Are you an Alex or a Lauren? I need a like I need a sandwich essentially of my food all together in my mouth. Ideally, I have one of those child's plates that has like the dividers and they keep them in their section. So nothing's bleeding over and touching.

7:57OK, wait, what is your top like go to? So my family is from like Louisiana and like the deep south. So like our Thanksgiving foods are like so like southern and rich and like I love them. Yeah. Number one is definitely the sweet potato casserole with the brown sugar and the mushrooms on top. Number two would be green mushrooms, marshmallows. Oh my god. Because I'm already thinking ahead to the green bean casserole with the mushrooms and that. But god forbid those touch that would be disgusting. Green bean casserole? Green bean casserole. It's like literally canned green beans with canned cream of mushroom soup and the canned or the little french onion things that you put on top and you bake them.

8:35Oh wait that sounds amazing. So good. Wait I don't think I've ever had that. You know something I saw on social media? What? About Thanksgiving foods. Someone was like do you think it's like telling why we only eat Thanksgiving foods once a year because they're not good I'm the other creep on social media that like posted being like why can't we eat stuffing for every meal when you and Matt were like legit like getting in a fight the other night you're like yeah so the other Thanksgiving I woke up and like Matt threw away all the leftovers this was a literal point of contention in my home and it was what okay so it was the first time we hosted and when you are not hosting you're not taking fucking leftovers from people's house so this was the first in our relationship I remember so you if you're a guest you leave all the leftovers for the host usually unless they offer it to you okay I also want to hear comments on that like if you're the host don't you agree you get to keep the leftovers and unless you offer it yeah unless you're offloading so fast forward we host for the first time and I remember I had like I I promise I I really I love how I say I promise in my brain I really thought I told Matt to keep the leftovers now in hindsight I don't think I told him I think it was in my brain like a fucking no-brainer Matt like what are you fucking doing if you give all the leftovers away so I remember I came down the next morning and like something I used to do is a tradition in my family we would make um like Thanksgiving sandwiches the next day for lunch yeah like with bread and some cranberry sauce and the turkey and the gravy and the whole thing I like saunter downstairs ready to eat a pumpkin pie slice and I open my refrigerator and it's spotless and I was like knowing Matt you probably like wiped it down too it was like freshly cleaned like not even the smell of Thanksgiving was left behind no not literally Cloroxed to the fucking brim and I remember I look in the refrigerator I'm like look in our other I'm like looking all over and I looked him out I'm like where's the food and he's like oh like everyone took leftovers like there's nothing left so probably so proud like honey I got it all out of the house for us don't worry and I'm mortified and I remember being like Matt like I'm genuinely upset to the point where I made him go to the grocery store with me that day and buy the stuffing mix so that I could remake stuffing for myself so I could have it with dinner.

10:45And yes, I brought that up to Matt because I was like, if we're hosting this year, you better believe, motherfucker, we are not giving away our fucking food. And he was like, okay, babe, like it makes you wonder how I'm married to this man.

11:13what is the vibe of your thanksgiving so like is it like stuffy formal are you getting dressed up or like are you wearing like this so here's a problem that i feel like i deal with not even just in thanksgiving but like my every single day life is like i want to be the girl that dresses up i want to put together a cute outfit that like someone puts on their pinterest board like i want to be that but I love being comfortable more than anything in my life like I don't know I don't know I pop a button at dinner oh like I like don't like having at my birthday dinner a few weeks ago I literally got up to go to the bathroom was like oh fuck my pants are on zip let me sit back down and put them back together it was Matt and I were at a business dinner the other night he's gonna kill me for saying this but my family like the Coopers like we unbutton at the table okay I'm an unbuttoner right like it is a said thing and Matt you know Matt like he just like would never do that Matt's proper he's Matt's more proper and so Matt would just like never do that and he ever since he's like known me he started to slowly do it and so he would find himself I know so he starts unbuttoning at dinners even if he's having a fucking straight vodka martini he's like boom open it up we are at a fucking work dinner and he gets up and I look at his pants full three buttons down and I'm like Maddie and he didn't catch it I don't think anyone saw it but I was laughing because it's like we unbutton in our home so back to your question yeah what are you wearing I want to dress up in some capacity especially if I'm a host like in my heart I want to lean into that Nancy Meyers like be a host be cozy but the reality is I at least am going to have to wear some form of elasticity but this is what I'm realizing with being a host this is going to be my situation people are going to show up and I'm probably going to do a sweater and like jeans and like a boot situation or like a little skirt and like tights and a boot like I'll show up and look cute and halfway through the night I'm going to come back down the stairs and I will be in a full sweatsuit benefit of hosting you can do an outfit change every single time I host a party or anything at my house that is the one thing and everyone mentions it and everyone also like whenever you host everyone ends up in your clothes yes because you end up dressing everyone like the end of the night every girl at the party that you're hosting yes is fully in one of your sweatsuits because I am like the peer pressure I hope in a good way where I'm like it's getting late let's change the vibe let's change the vibe come on guys like you don't want to actually be in those fucking i'll look at chris and be like you don't want to be in those jeans she's like i'm completely fine i'm like no come on you don't want to be in those jeans and i like bully everyone to go upstairs and change into my pants wait what is your vibe gonna be are you formal are you not formal no not formal at all with my dad's side of the family i'm the oldest cousin and i'm the only girl cousin so like it's not like i have like other cousins who i'm like let's go get ready you're like what are you wearing let's do our makeup i'm with just like my brother and all my guy cousins okay i like take a nap and i wake up i'm like oh it's like time to eat and like haven't showered today I haven't done my hair I'm putting on my makeup and like in theory I agree like I want to look back at the family photos and be like oh like that was a good year for me but like I look back I always look like shit oh my god like I look like I haven't like showered in days at family Thanksgiving that's what I will say that my sister is good at doing like Catherine is always down to dress up and like I know for Christmas this year like she's always gonna go out loud and I'm like it makes me want to dress up with I wish I had a little someone putting a little peer pressure on me.

14:45I know. And I feel like Matt's family is, no one is going to show up in sweats, but they're very like casual. Like they'll do like jeans and sweaters. They're like elevated basics. Yeah. Quiet luxury. Matt's mom is watching this being like, keep going Lauren. What else? No, but you're right. It's like, it's chill, but it's still elevated. Okay. Next question. Ooh. Okay. Something I wrote down was, are your holidays the type where you have to navigate difficult conversations? Oh, that's such a good question. Well, I think the first like obvious answer is every single year of my life has changed.

15:22Right. Like when I was starting to call her, starting to call her daddy and all of my extended family was like, you fucking whore. And I was like, oh, my God. um now with um my internal family and like matt's internal family no i think if i'm gonna have to i wouldn't even say navigate difficult conversations but if i had to be if someone had to be like what are you not as looking forward to i think it's now where we're at the point where maybe it's more about like people socially and i so understand where they're coming from but like just socially asking like when are you guys gonna have kids I think people don't realize like how personal of a question that is yes because I have had so many different people in LA that I'm close with I've had people that it took them a year to get pregnant I've had people that got pregnant after literally the first time they tried I have people that have fertility issues I have people that are freezing their eggs like I know so many different women and literally I would say I don't know any woman that's had at like a similar almost experience in my life right now and so of course Matt and I want kids but I feel like I'm I don't know whenever I'm in those positions I'm kind of like this isn't really the time to talk about it and I know that if anyone asks us it's genuinely coming from a place of like they love us and they're just like good intentions excitement yeah and like it's really coming from like oh my gosh we're so excited for you too.

16:55And like, we want that next chapter and that next generation. But I do think that, um, if anyone is listening to this at Thanksgiving this year and your sibling or your cousin, I thought you were saying if anyone in my family is listening to this right now, you're planning to ask me when I'm having kids, knock it off. No, but I also, well, you know what it also is. And I think this is a part of it too, that Matt and I have discussed is like not knowing what my personal experience will be with one trying to get pregnant when it comes time that I want to do that. It's like, I could literally say to someone like, yeah, like we're going to try this next month.

17:29And then what if I can't get pregnant? You know what I mean? I don't want to talk about things of timelines because I am so aware that there is no fucking timeline. There is no right time to get pregnant. There is no exact, like there, none of it. So I think I'm more just like adverse to the entire conversation, but I'm not like, please don't ask me about that. I'm more just I always just kind of avoid it I'm like oh I don't know like we're still like think we're taught there's just so many layers to it and things you need to figure out yourself before like you share it with other people you miss McMullen oh I know I'm gonna be asked like oh my gosh so like what happened well one what happened what happened and then two like I think just like oh like you're you're we're 30 now and we're single and like not that I've had much I don't know how much I can speak on this because I haven't been single that long and I haven't been 30 that long and I haven't really had to navigate many of these conversations yet and maybe I'm just feeling like empowered because I'm not like feeling like beaten down like fucking stop asking me so I'm like in my empowered stage and I feel like I don't know at least the approach I'm gonna take is I'm gonna lead the conversation where I want it to be and like be excited about it and be happy about it and be empowered by it and be like, yeah, I'm 30.

18:44And like, I have a whole decade and it's so exciting. Like who knows who I'll end up with? Who knows where I'll be? Who knows what I'll be doing? Who knows what my life will be like? Like how exciting of like all the opportunities ahead. That's such a good point. Like steering the conversation in direction that like most of the time when someone asks you like, wow, like how do you feel about that? Like you understandably, like we know it is them checking in and caring, checking in and caring and understandably like Like also on the other side, it is just like based a little bit in like you wouldn't be saying that to a man.

19:15You wouldn't be saying to a 30 year old man who's single like, oh, God. And I get it. It's usually not coming from a bad place. But instead of allowing it to be this like sad, sad thing, you can just be like, I am so happy. I know how incredible. Even if you like you want to do that to like shut the conversation down, like even if I'm being like ignorantly happy, like, oh, my God, I'm so fucking happy. They're going to be like, they're going to be like, OK. okay what drugs is Lauren on no that's a good that's my approach you're like uncle Jerry I'm so fucking happy I want to be single for the rest of my fucking life like it's true though it's like but I could see you I also feel like you're so not that type of person so for you to like be sarcastic I feel like people would be like oh my god okay I'm gonna walk away But I do.

20:09I love that approach. How do you feel? Obviously, like you mentioned early, obviously, in this episode, like you just went through a breakup. And regardless of the fact that like, I think you're in such an incredible place right now, like breakups are hard and holidays, I feel like specifically are really, really tough because even when you're feeling good, there's this odd thing that like holidays do that really just shed light on like love and family and the perfect holiday notebook-esque environment and family and relationship like are you at all anxious that you're just gonna feel that like dark cloud in a moment I think I'm prepared to feel it and like I think I'm like I know I'm gonna feel it yeah it's so new that we were supposed to be doing this Thanksgiving together and we were supposed to be doing Christmas together so I'm still like going through phases of life where like I had tangible plans with my ex to be doing this together so like no doubt I'm gonna be sitting there being like well I'm supposed to be doing this right now and now I'm doing this instead and like so I think I'm just expecting to feel that you're understandably going to lightly play out like what it would have been like had they been there versus now there's like this empty chair that would have had their name on it and it's like a weird fucking feeling it's sad but it's not said but it's just like I don't even know how to describe it it's literally what grieving is like that's I went through something like very similar when I um for those of you don't know my dad passed away when I was in college yes like it's almost like the missing person yes like the unsaid thing yeah it's something I had felt before with in regards to holidays like that missing presence like the empty chair yeah that's a good point like I feel like we've talked about a lot before.

21:54Um, kind of like when you do now, this is like kind of getting over like your ex-boyfriend. Now it's more like you talking about your dad. I feel like there's probably like a lot of daddy gang that have lost a family member and the traditions that you kind of have to start to like create with your family without someone is like a really challenging thing because you want to honor them and remember them but you also don't want to like move on from them like oh I have a lot to say oh give it to us give it to us so I think the weird feeling of feeling like you're like moving on and like forgetting them something that really made me think of that was my mom is now engaged and we love him shout out Kara yeah shout out Kara baby live your life she's like she's gonna clip this inside and I was like Larry you guys gave me a shout out on the pod yeah we did yeah we did Kara she was her and her fiance were indescribably thoughtful about the way they introduced him into me and my brother's lives and they were very very seriously dating for a while for years before he came to one of my family holidays and I was talking about it in therapy and I was like I love this person I love him as an individual I love him for my mom I love them together I feel more at peace knowing they have each other but why does him coming to a holiday feel so unsettling to me and she was like I think there's this unspoken thing that when he sits down at the fourth table setting it means your dad's replaced it means your dad's forgotten and like that's not the case that's not true right because it was so confusing to me I'm like I love this person I love their relationship I love the whole thing but like it just making me not anxious it's just I couldn't put a finger on this unsettling feeling of like and it was the feeling that I thought that meant that my dad was being replaced and that wasn't the case at all yeah no that is like so beautiful I remember that time in your life and you handled it so gracefully and I think like again you were so fortunate to have your mom handled that way and I know that there are so yeah I'm so appreciative I know there are so many people that probably have horror stories of step parents and all of that but I do think it's such a true statement and I think we've talked about this a lot about how like there are so many ways to like continue to remember someone and a new addition doesn't mean that someone else now like can't be a part of things and I feel like it's hard when the person isn't there but there's so many ways that you can celebrate that person without feeling like you're just like overriding them when we're done with you sitting at a table the four of us I couldn't get over the fact it just felt like delete and like insert so we just like said fuck it and now for Christmas we don't sit in Pennsylvania every year for Christmas now we go to a different national park and we hike and we just do something entirely different and like start over fresh and it just feels so nice and new and we hike and we like reminisce and we talk about them but for some reason just like sitting in Pennsylvania sitting the four of us around the table just felt like and it's so illogical but it just felt like we were trying to like write my dad out of like the story and it just feels so much better and more exciting and fun to just completely start over with a new tradition.

25:18I love that you said that though that you're like it feels completely illogical and like I'm pretty sure and so many people that experience that type of grief it's like it should be illogical because it's this like you can't explain it and you don't have to explain it Like you felt the way you felt. And now I love that. Like daddy gang, like you can make your own new traditions. And especially when things are wrapped in like trauma and loss, like you can shake shit up. And when you step out of line or when you change shit up, it can feel a little disorienting. Even thinking about like breaking the tradition.

25:50Like you're like, Oh, I feel like I'm like fucking up and like being like a bad family member. And it's like, I bet all of you sitting at that fucking table. Like I bet your mom's fiance was like, probably would have been the first one to be like, guys I'm so down to do something different he probably was ecstatic that now he's getting to hang out with a version of me that's like relaxed and like open and not me sitting around the table being like oh my god talk right say words say words right I think that's like a great way to like wrap that conversation up in terms of tradition is a motherfucker and it's beautiful but it can be really really intoxicating where you just feel like you have to follow it and sometimes I do think like anything in this world maybe sometimes we need to check ourselves of like is it tradition because it's fun or is it tradition because you actually kind of don't know why it's tradition and like maybe it's time to shake shit up yeah um okay you're going back to Pennsylvania I am and you told me that when you go back to Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving you will be attending your high school reunion.

26:54Now, I am fascinated and I need every fucking detail when you go because I haven't gone to a high school reunion. Let's just talk, first of all, high school reunions.

27:22so let's discuss how do you feel about it i'm excited what are you gonna wear i was literally thinking of that like right do you like pop the fuck off like maybe like a little bit right like because also i don't have social media so like no one knows what i look like or like what i right do or what i'm up you gotta kind of like pop up a little bit like we need you to look hot but not like try hard that's like um while we're talking about high school though we have been friends for so long but I don't know if people know this we did not go to the same high school we went to the same elementary school for one year you guys my parents fucked me up I moved to Pennsylvania from Texas in first grade I went to public school and they were like you need to find God they sent me to Catholic school in second grade and they were like you're not Catholic and this is expensive back to public school so literally first second third grade I switched schools every year like imagine what that would do to a child but thank god right in between there that second grade where you were supposed to find god you found me yep and we became best friends in second grade I remember Lauren with like her giant bows because like your mom had every color bow ready to go for you at school I was so fucking jealous I remember in first grade and even in second grade still when we'd have dress down days I would cry because I'm like mom the kids in the north don't wear this no i thought you were epic uh-huh anyway so lorna and i went to school for one year wait one year one year together yeah oh my that's it yeah so all of middle school all of elementary school we didn't go and then high school we went to different schools but we stayed connected like really connected all through elementary school and middle school because we were on the same soccer team yeah like soccer teams we were on like three teams together and then we went to high school and naturally in high school like we literally stayed close but it wasn't as close because you're like you have your own friend group yeah you went to private school I went to public school yes um so let's talk about how we were different in high school what do you think um you were like head down grinding soccer was like your mission and like your career like you only hung out with like the soccer girls like every weekend like you were going all around the country like doing like your college showcases yeah and I said goodbye to soccer and I was parting it up and living my life I think that I slowly slowly ramped into my more social mode but my for sure my freshman year I was like head down like soccer soccer soccer because I had gotten like a scholarship I couldn't afford to go to that that's why you were going to that high school I forgot I got a I got a scholarship that they like faked was like academic meanwhile like no one was giving me like that would have gone to you no one in their right mind was giving me an academic scholarship it was just disguised so that I could play on the soccer team okay it's obviously the Thanksgiving episodes we're partying maybe you're drinking maybe you're fucked up maybe you're laying in bed and you're alone do we have any overlapping high school stories of us like because we Lauren and I did not party together and let's like really explain why our friendship was so wholesome and growing up it was based in like we would make movies together and we would like film and we would make like I like viewed your parents as like family yeah so the idea of going to your home and like cracking open a mic's hard like I couldn't disrespect Lori like that I was disrespecting a lot of other situations but not Lori Cooper I was getting after it everywhere across newtown pennsylvania but not in not at my house i'm fucking obsessed i am i'm gonna bleep that you guys because she just said my street name but i'm obsessed you're right i think we had this weird thing where like our relationships to our families were so pure pure and youthful and we'd been through so fucking much that it was just like i would come over and we'd catch up and order dumplings dumplings yeah yep we'd get duck sauce we'd order dumplings and we would just chill and we wouldn't drink so but do we have any like high school there were oh you came to I your new year's I was gonna say I threw a new year's party no my senior year let me just say this Lauren threw this banger of a new year's party banger and when you just referenced like not wanting to disrespect my mother like that I remember I showed up late to your party and we had a lot of memories in that house it was my childhood home yeah and I think it was also a hard time for us because not to get too deep so much had been going on with your dad that like understandably I think in your life in high school like no one kind of knew about fully yeah most people did not didn't know and you and I like we knew every detail and I think I hadn't been back to that physical house in so many years and I learned I don't think I did I ever tell you yeah you did okay I was so emotional at that party because I show up to this house that had like incredible pure memories and then like pretty like really fucking traumatic memories yeah and I remember walking in late and I'm with Moonen yeah um our friend Nicole and I walk in and it is like people are swinging from the fucking chandeliers and I'm thinking like oh Lauren's having a you're thinking probably like 20 kids hanging out in my basement her entire school plus another school was in this fucking house jam-packed i'm like lauren i will never forget what happened on the ceiling oh my gosh someone sprayed a champagne bottle like all over this the cork went up through the ceiling the ceiling and i remember i was like i'm coming up i'm gonna have to fix that in the morning your poor mother comes home and everyone's like trying to like be like no no it's not what it looks like and kara is literally looking up in the ceiling crying so i talked about that in therapy i was like i feel a little guilty for that one it was but it was like a sending away your house party but I do remember like that extent of our friendship was like us feeling like so nostalgia childhood that it was like we never really drank together in high school we didn't need to drink to have fun

33:52high school arch nemesis we're like how did we get here how did this just slide in because we want to talk about it so Lauren and I were laughing about her going to this reunion and I was talking to her about like who are you most looking forward to seeing like who are you nervous to see like who do you want to impress who do you want to avoid and Lauren press no one avoid no one nervous no one but my arch nemesis i also have to be careful because this is gonna air three days before the reunion so i'm about to like blow up how much i have an arch nemesis and then walk in this room and be like oh that's the girl who like can't get over high school do you think that your nemesis would know that they are your enemy i don't think she thinks i like think about her one bit

34:41I think she would listen to this and be like oh my god okay let's talk about why is she your nemesis okay so I don't want to accidentally paint myself as a saint here the issue is I truly cannot remember who cheated first me or my high school boyfriend but junior year we hit rocky territory. I thought you were saying we hit rock bottom. We hit rock bottom. We did hit rock bottom. And it kind of became this open situation. But like we still were in love. We were still talking all the time. But like I ventured off a little bit to this older guy and he ventured off to my arched nemesis. But then we had a reconciliation and we came back together.

35:28And I kicked the older guy to the curb. Or did he just graduate? I don't know. yeah yeah details yeah yeah but my arch nemesis could not get ticked to the curb she literally was like the bug that would not die and no we're getting riled up i just have such vivid memories being in my childhood bedroom after school 4 30 p.m prime time everyone's on aim everyone's on form spring everyone's on snapchat and i'm snapping him and i'm watching my snap streak with him go up and up and up and up and up but i'm watching his snap streak with her go up and up and up and up and they were just oh that's just like a core memory we hold on so did he cheat on you with her oh all the time we did you can did you how did you find out other than okay well there's two instances where where he was caught red-handed okay okay incident number one senior senior prom.

36:25Wait, I don't even know this story. So it was the morning of senior prom and we met up in a parking lot and had sex in a car. Classic. And we go to pictures. We do pictures together. So like that's kind of official. Oh, I like checked Facebook this morning. We had pictures. We took prom pictures together. Not her making sure the receipts are dotted and the oh my God, lauren i'm obsessed with you okay and so we're at prom we're grinding i'm slapping the ground i'm turning around i'm making out get low get low oh my god the grind chains i can't i can't and i go get a beverage and i come back into the auditorium and i'm like oh where's my boyfriend grind chaining with my arch nemesis what making out with my arch nemesis in front of you in front of the whole auditorium wait so what the fuck did you do so i had known that like they were consistently talking i would talk to him about it and be like you have to stop like i'm not doing anything else like i'm not with anyone else like i want to be together right and like he was like but like they were still always operating so i did the craziest thing i've ever done in my entire life oh my god i i have i've never let me just give context for my character i've never had a falling out with another girlfriend before.

37:43I've never gotten to a physical confrontation. I've really never gotten to like a heated exchange words to this day, except this one moment. Oh my God. I walk up to them. Okay. And I say, I pull them apart and I say, we had sex this morning. I hope you're enjoying the taste of me right now. She starts hysterically crying. In high school. In high school. I don't know. I'm savvy. I don't know how I feel about it, but I just like snapped this is high school like yeah people are cheating and people are being whatever it's not actually nefarious like it's actually just like but it's so funny to think about like the drama in fucking high school what's the most bold thing you ever did to confront someone oh well you have like a laundry list I'm like this is the one time I've ever said something to anyone ever well the thing is too for like me I would say which I'm gonna have to tell the story one day is oh your archnemesis story yeah this is fucked because it was me really standing up for my other best friend and I then she tried to ruin your life yes I am someone that will always stand up for myself like my mother taught me that like use your fucking words um and so I would always say it to people's faces that they were upsetting me and when someone though fucks with one of my friends who, who I know has a harder time speaking up for themselves.

39:03I go to like a different level and I stood up for my one friend to another one of our friends. And one day I'm going to tell this story. It's a good story. It is the most insane thing because it followed me into my adult life and it still is going, it's just crazy, whatever. But drama, let's talk about drama because I can't talk about my archenemesis because that deserves like a solo fucking episode. I need to like literally call my mom for like notes and I need to like literally call my headmaster and get the notes also from them. Okay. So drama though, the, one of the most dramatic things. And when I say dramatic, like this is so fucking stupid, but I remember for me with boys, um, my high school year boyfriend, I was so obsessed with him.

39:45And I remember he was a boarding student. I was a day student. And so he would always just like, it was really fun in high school because you were able to try to sneak into the dorm rooms and like what high school kids are afforded like a bed that you can just access at the dining hall. It was hard to sneak, but we figured it out anyway. So I was like falling in love and I was having the time of my life, my freshman year. And I remember he was definitely a partier and he had transferred from another school and he had to redo his freshman year. So, oh yeah, that's my first red flag. Anyways, I remember it is a Tuesday and Tuesdays were always chapel days where we had to like walk to this chapel in New Jersey.

40:28And it was like a Presbyterian school and we would sit and we'd do chapel, whatever. And we always would walk together and we would always hold hands together. And he was nowhere to be found. And I'm texting him and it's all going to green. And I'm like, where is he? And the boarding students come up to me and they look like they saw a fucking ghost. And his friends come up to me and they're like, Alex, you didn't hear. And I'm like, no, like what happened? And they're like, he drank so much last night with everyone, but like people were drinking, but he drank to the point of absolute blackout to the point where it got so, so bad that we had to blow our cover and call for help.

41:03And they took him out on a stretcher in an ambulance and they had to bring him to the hospital and he had to get his stomach pumped. And I'm sitting in chapel as like DeAndre is like sitting next to me, whispering this to me. And I'm like, what the fuck? And finally his phone turns on and he's like, I'm fine. Like I'm okay. And I'm freaking out. I'm like crying, whatever. He gets kicked out of school. Not from that, which is crazy. He did so many more things. And eventually they were like, you have to get the fuck off this campus. Like you are literally ruining like our culture here and when he got kicked out I shit you not Lauren for three straight months and think about like three months of high school that's long that's long for three straight months I wore black every single fucking day to school because I was so mad at the head master and the president I would I was literally protesting I was or you mourning him I was had both I was mourning but I was more protesting because I was so livid that they kicked him out they should let me just be clear they should have kicked him out but I was just so dramatic because I was like I just lost the love of my life he got kicked out your future husband got away exactly and I'm like walking around campus and every fucking week the dean of students would pull me and being like Alex like people are getting concerned like and and meanwhile I'm like not a fuck like I'm not a sad fucking person usually so I'm they can tell I'm fucking fine They're like, bitch, you're fucking fine.

42:30And meanwhile, I'm like, I don't know if I'll ever recover. Like, I can't believe you got rid of him. And eventually I got over it. But it's like, why do we do those things when we're younger? The drama within us. Oh, high school, I have like memories just like laying on the floor, like sobbing. Right? Just like heartbreak and like, oh my God, my chest hurts if the boy broke. Like just so fucking stupid. But honestly, like kind of amazing. And it's fun to reminisce. And we'll try to post pictures to you guys if we can find any of these like hidden gems. I think there's some crazy. Oh yeah. I'll post my prom picks.

43:00I look good. Y 'all are coming out of the woodwork this episode. I kind of love it. I love the confidence. I think the fun thing also about like being friends for your whole life is it's really beautiful. Like we have seen every single almost like decade of each other so far in our lives. Like we have been together and we have seen it all. And I think it's also humbling to know like where we both came from because we can both keep it real with each other. We've had some of our darkest moments together. We have had some of our best moments together. We have had both moments where I think we've been able to look at each other and say, you need to get your shit together or you need to get your shit together.

43:44And I'm here for you. But let's let's pick let's pick it up. and I feel like we've in a good way like both done that for each other like it's a very very equal sided relationship but I was talking about that in an episode the other month about how we're always on the opposite pages I know and but I but I feel like it's kind of like the beauty of our relationship like we always make some more interesting it does it does listen I think Thanksgiving is so fun and I hope daddy gang that you are surrounded by your loved ones and I hope you enjoyed this little like throwback reminiscent episode we have had we have so many random stories together and it's always fun to sit down and just like chat and talk and yeah I think I would like to end this episode by saying everyone who was in my grade I just I think they're all probably doing amazing things I probably I think they're probably so successful I can't wait to see how good they all look I can't wait to see how they're all thriving and their own lives and they were just like such amazing people that I was blessed to go to school with and I just I cannot wait to see you all bye daddy gang we love you happy Thanksgiving and have the best fucking time and go eat some food and drink good drinks we love you pop a button I three many I will see fuckers next Wednesday goodbye

45:10Thank you.