Hunter Schafer: Polyamory, Cheating & Fame

0:02What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with call her daddy. hunter shaper welcome to call her daddy thank you so much i am so happy you're here thank you i'm so happy to be here like i just told you not the not the vape not the vape coming out as you're like thank you so much this is how comfortable i'm feeling right now so but this means the world to me i just have to start off and say because me my sister who's you've graciously led in this room love put me onto your podcast during the pandemic and we were gagging and um I'm just I'm so excited I love you okay little do you know I really love you because I have to tell you a story okay so I think it was a year ago we were this close to each other and you had no idea probably we were in Milan and I was sitting were you at the Prada show yes I do remember seeing you there okay this is were you there okay okay Hunter sister is in the room she's saying she saw me freaked out okay this is why life is so fucking stupid because I was standing with my videographer and I was like oh my god it's Hunter and he was like go say hi to her and I was like no no like that's weird that's weird he was like no go say hi I'm like no no like I believe one day we are gonna meet in a non like weird or like moment where I'm like fangirling that's totally how I feel about people too like that I gag over it's like if I know that we are gonna because you have that feeling about people sometime where you're like I know I'm gonna kick you with this person I'm like I don't want to fuck it up but I'm so happy you're here

1:49okay tell me about your outfit how did you pick this outfit we're loving it okay thank you um you know i this is like well we and we were just talking about this kind of is like i always feel like like the image that i put out into the world like on instagram whatever is like very much like the drag version of who i am and it's like an image that i put together to like give to the world and and like that is not how i dress and act in real life and so but like this i feel like your podcast is very about like cozy let's like get realness and this is my i i picked shit up off the floor and put a little stupid outfit together and that's what it that's what this is it's really cute and i'm happy that you're comfortable and that is the key here like coziness yes and rupaul also bitch okay can i just say that interview like face cracked me like that interview impacted me so much and also i lived for her outfit for her give with the with oh my god it was so incredible because i remember like you're kind of talking like similar with like rue like presents a specific way and has these like cunt outfits that you're like this is what i'm talking about yes and i remember when rue showed up i was like oh my gosh and i remember the rep was like no rue really wanted to show up today just as like rue yeah and this is what like rue would be wearing like around rue's house and i was like okay yeah and so i love that you came just like cozy today thank you um you just bought a new house like yes here yes i heard you did too yes okay how is it going girl oh my god girl okay so i i've been looking for a house for a few years to be to be 100 honest i have like i didn't grow up with it's it's a very surreal thing to be like making significantly more money than like anywhere where i came like my parent any with anything that i grew up with yep um you know we're just pretty regular middle class and And now I'm like, I have a lot of fucking dough.

3:49And I have no idea how to use it. And it scares me. And so at some point I had to be like, okay, I need to do something with my money. With my money. And so, yeah, I've been looking for a house. I finally found this beautiful house. And, yeah, I moved in when? September of last year. Okay. um and i've started on the whole like now i'm going to hire people to make i tried doing the whole i'm gonna buy furniture by myself i have no idea what the fuck it's so fucking hard are you doing that oh my god i literally left it to my husband because like back in your husband you let your husband do it no no i know this sounds insane hunter but like matt has incredible taste okay he has like perfect taste okay now i just let him do his thing because i'm gonna be honest i decorated my first new york city apartment where i first lived alone for the first time ever and I was like watch me bitch like this is gonna be so gorgeous I got the couch and the couch sat there for so long and I'm like how do you make a space look good this and I see Pinterest and I see like even urban outfitters like the it looks so cute and then I buy it and it looks like fucking shit yes so then I hire someone and now I hired my husband to do it so amazing good if you want he'll come over and I wish I wish I had a husband that had amazing taste that is not my fucking case diva i i like yeah so i i had i went through the exact same spiral of like okay wait i like you know i look at couches and then i'm like wait but but like and this is so i hate it's so like it's okay go first world whatever whatever uh you know like i look at this amazing couch but then like if i spend a bunch of money on this couch and then i but then the carpet changes everything.

5:38Huh? Girl, I'm like, I tried. I really tried. And then I was like, no. So I hired a designer. Yeah. So have you seen Troye Sivan's AD video? Yeah, insane. Insane. So I hit Troy up and he was very gracious in connecting me to those people. So they're doing it for me. God bless. and I'm we are just getting started everything in my house right now is completely covered in sawdust because the roof just got done and it all came through the ceiling it's insane so you know okay well it doesn't maybe matter because you're leaving no can we talk about this so this is all gonna happen while I'm away okay yeah okay so talk to me you walk in here and you're like bitch you caught me at a great time and i'm like wait why hunter why you're tell me okay what is okay so so yes you have caught me and for this interview and very it i've had a fucking week my sister knows this i've had a fucking crazy week um so i um i got this it wasn't necessarily an offer but but you know people the casting people for this tv show came to me like you know a little over a month ago and asked if i was interested and i initially um and this is something we'll get into too is is i don't think you know i feel like i did tv and that was such a great intro to acting but since moving into films i realized i love the film format so much more because it's so it just tv is so it's a beast it's a beast and so i was really like under the impression with myself that i was not gonna do tv again after euphoria is over okay but um and and so i initially i i said no i don't think i can't i mean this sounds really cool but i i just don't think i can do it again and then um and then uh you know and then so they went off and they went into they tried you know they tried casting people and then they came back over a little over a week ago and were like hey we just want to gauge your interest again because we really think you are could be really right for this and so I was like okay I need a meeting with y 'all to like show me really what you're trying to accomplish it was an amazing meeting and I was like fuck I feel like the universe is like handing me this thing right now it's not what i thought i was gonna give but i feel like i have to do this and um uh can i say what it is i it's blade runner 2099 so so there's you know the initial blade runner from the 80s and there's 2049 from 2019 and so this is the continuation 2099 in tv show format it's very cool congratulations thank you that's like insane thank you and when you have meetings like that when you say like it goes well like what do you look for to make you feel comfortable well yeah so like i the acting thing this all like i was i was not looking to be an actor it's not what i thought i was gonna do with my life um i still question whether it is i've just so this week has been this whole process of being like shit i have I am being handed these incredible opportunities on a silver fucking platter and while it might not be why I thought I was put on this earth to do like this is this is what I'm being fucking called to do right now right and and so that's been like a big processing moment and um and I think it's really allowing me to like head into this project and just like fully yeah like like just dive in head first and like give myself to it you know okay I have so many questions of just like how we got here and how you are doing so you grew up in North Carolina and obviously that's so fucking different than LA what is your hometown like can you describe it yeah so well so it's your sister is laughing why is she laughing that's so funny yeah well you know so I've I I really I'm gonna be honest I I fucking hated North Carolina okay um and uh growing up there um being queer being queer in the south anybody who's queer in the south knows it's not fucking easy it's really culturally it's um in a completely different place than like the bubbles in the cities that we live in um and I always knew that I didn't belong there and that I belonged in these spaces where i can like be myself and like not feel like there's a target on my fucking back all the time i really hated it and like i i'm not gonna lie like growing growing up there like like fucked me up i have now come to love it because i can return there in all my bad bitchery and like know that i'm fierce and i don't feel like a fucking nuisance for existing in north Carolina now.

10:38So I love it now. But growing up there, it was it was tough. I did not like it. Yeah. What were you like as a kid, like in this environment? Describe yourself. One of my like, I guess, afflictions with life is I have never been able to really help but be who I am. And and, you know, so even before I transitioned and I transitioned in my first couple years of high school um but but before i transitioned you know i'm just like can i say bad words i mean like yes yeah like so i'm just like this little faggot like i and you know i'm like an extremely high femme boy in this you know space of like you know boys are like very one way especially in the south like it's just culturally what it is um and but i mean it's one of i'm so thankful that I have not really been given a choice to be anyone but who I am so I always stuck out like a sore thumb um but I was I loved like extremely artistic um pretty happy I've always had like a like a pretty easy access to like joy um I think um so like despite my circumstances you know I I look back on my childhood and despite being in a certain amount of pain just for being who I am yeah I was a pretty happy kid you know that's amazing yeah like if you're in the south you're right as like growing up if you are queer in the south like still to this day it's crazy to say like kids are having a hard time yeah fucking California they have a hard time which is even fucking crazy to say yes so when you're growing up in that environment I know you have three siblings and you're the oldest yes being the oldest it was it hard to like open up to your siblings or were they like there for you like what was that dynamic I would say the siblings was was on the easier end because I think that I mean like me and me and Hannah like we because we're so close in age so we were in the same schools and um and because nobody really understood like what I was doing I think, you know, we had our trials and tribulations as siblings and we but we we've taught, you know, we've moved far, far beyond that now.

13:00And, you know, my siblings are some of the closest people in my life now. But but at the time, yeah, I think it was it was a little tough for everybody because no one and not even me understood what like I was going through and why I stuck out like a sore thumb and, you know, whatever. But as happy as you were, that like makes me sad for any kid that's like going through something that's like indescribable in your mind at that point. Did you have a hard time in school? Like what was your middle school like? Middle school was probably the hardest, actually. You know, young teenage boys are are pretty gnarly, especially when they are confronted with like a like a kid who they just don't know what to do with like with they don't.

13:41They have no grasp of like queerness, whatever it is. So it's like, oh, look at this gay kid. They just don't know what to do with it. And so they'll be mean.

13:54So that was always tough, just dealing with boys who don't get it. But I found my cute little nerdy friend group. And that was my first experience of like, okay, if I find my circle, I can be myself and I'll be okay. okay so so that was that was cool but middle school is also when I realized I was gay or like at that time I thought I was a gay boy so came out who did you come out to first um my friends my friends so like and that's the thing of like okay I have this this network of support where even if I had my parents and don't accept okay these people will will get me so they were the first people I told and then I would you know tell my parents tell my family whatever your parents so your dad was a pastor growing up my parents are still pastors yeah so my dad is a pastor and my mom is you know she's ordained to be a pastor she works in the children ministry ministry in the church okay talk to me about that because just like thinking of like what you were going through as a young kid being in the south and having your dad like a part of the church how did that work out it's it's like another layer to it all of of and and thankfully you know i didn't grow up in catholicism or anything and i hear about you know people in my community who grew up in that and it's like oh girl i'm so fucking lucky that i got to grow up in a normal even though my parents are pastors and i'm very involved in the church and in like a on the chiller side of christianity presbyterian church oh my god catholicism is like insane like you're gonna burn alive yeah like i am yeah so there was never like this oh you're going to hell but then I would see things about just Christianity in general where there are churches that like believe you're going to hell and and so there was that was this whole complex that I had to get through too um and then but thankfully when I came out as gay to my parents you know I think they I mean I think anybody could have fucking told you by looking at me that I was was gay um at the time um uh so that was easier then the trans thing came on later on that that was a bit harder but did you feel like not even just you as an individual like did you and your siblings feel like you guys had this like expectation around you like I'm thinking like tv shows and I'm like the pastor like I'm thinking like seventh heaven back in the day like yeah I don't know like did you guys feel like you had to like live up to this like like reputation almost I think it was there um and this is something that I definitely dealt with later on too in life of like of like you know because there's this whole like pastor's daughter like trope you know and it gets kind of tough because obviously like what I do now is very like I mean my first job when I had to tell my parents that I was doing a TV show and in the first episode I'm having anal sex with a 45 year old and cutting myself in the arm like all this stuff and then but my first thought is like okay they have to tell their congregation that their kids aren't going to be on TV and then their congregation who are just you know little old nice white Christian people from the south are gonna watch this tv show and see me getting butt fucked and you're like and it's like it's like oh my god i'm like i so like i thought to a degree i still do like feel bad because that's something that they still have to deal with you know my movie coming out next next in in a couple weeks kinds of kindness which i'm so excited about my one scene in it i got my titties out girl like it's it's like you know and and i have no personal problems with it but it is something where i'm like some people just don't aren't gonna get it and you know that's a whole other thing how did your parents react when you told them and also like how do you sit your parents down for that like is that after the dinner table is it a phone call is it a facetime yeah is it a letter so I didn't tell them that I was in the process in the audition process because I really wasn't sure that I was gonna do it because once again I didn't think acting was my calling or anything it's not my plan it wasn't my plan um so i didn't tell them until i had actually gotten the job um which kind of left them in a situation because it didn't really give them room to like give their opinions or whatever um but i think they were just like worried because that you know they don't come from this world and sometimes i get really jealous of like my peers in this um in you know this industry that do have like family in it because yeah I mean there's pros and cons but and and for some for a lot of reasons I'm really happy that my family is in this completely separate world but but like the guidance part I think that's what they were worried about is I think they you know even though they didn't know a lot about it I think they know the nature of this industry can be very intense and they just didn't want me to get like fucked up by it you know that's a good point and it also sucks like you're it's so crazy to think that like your first fucking acting job is euphoria like yeah that is so baller yeah but it's also like i get what you're saying if you if your family doesn't come from the industry at all there's also this like natural judgment of like are you about to fuck your life up yeah like oh my god are you making the biggest like decision that is gonna like ruin your whole life exactly where like other people that maybe like are you more used to it's like this is how it goes like get the role i just had to tell i had to be like like there it is I think I use the word risque and I don't think just like a little cut to cut to them at the premiere like I don't think my mom could even watch it like it you know it's insane it's insane you're like oh my god it's almost like when you watch a movie with your parents that has a sex scene when you're young you're like um and you're pretending you're like going to get your ice cream at the time because it's so awkward meanwhile you're like so that's me yeah and i can't run away from this oh my god god bless you honestly like that is strength within strength so nuts i'm curious though when you were talking about kind of closing out that like chapter of middle school obviously everyone needs a fucking outlet of like i am dealing with all this shit yeah like i remember reading like you said you journaled i don't know if it was in middle school but like what did you do to like feel less alone with all these thoughts well yeah i think And it's just part of my nature, too.

20:37And I think part of the pressure cooker that I sort of placed myself in growing up in a place where I was so unhappy with my surroundings is I really devoted my free time and my life to my art. and and at the time it was visual arts where I put all my creative energy but I knew that that that is like my gift is like I'm an artist and and it's still tea to this like I know that that's what I was put on this earth to do was to like make stuff but um but uh you know at the time it was visual arts and so I did everything that I could to just kind of like like like put all my energy into that and you know it ended up being like my first job like in high school my first job was um contributing to you know making little watercolor comics for an online magazine and stuff you know and so that was like this is what's gonna get me out of here and get me to where I want to be in life you know yeah it's so even hearing you say that it's so hard in general being a child but like at that point it just sucks because like there are so many kids that get to live their life and be like not having to escape and get to like go to the fucking playground and like frolic around you being like I was trying to like use this as an escape so I didn't have to like deal with like what the fuck was going on reality yeah then you get to high school did you ever like talk to anyone that you felt like actually understood you well so I mean this is the thing is like when the trans thing started coming up and that that kind of started coming up with the onset of puberty um which i was experiencing severe like levels of anxiety that no like you know middle school or high schooler should be going through at that time um for especially around something that's you know quote-unquote inevitable um and uh and i realized that this like wasn't normal um and then i turned to the internet because i didn't even know what being trans was i had no idea that you could there were trans people in the world um and and that's the kind of isolating piece of like growing up in the south nobody talks about it there's there's no people in my line of sight um that like are this um and uh and then so like i you know went to the internet i looked on youtube and found out like oh shit you can this it isn't my destiny it doesn't have to be my destiny to become a fucking man and grow a beer you know and all that stuff and then but then it's the whole thing of like okay now that I know that this is my tea I have to get everybody else on board because I'm still a fucking kid you know um so that and that was harder because I didn't know what it was my parents didn't know what it was um and and that was that was a bit harder as far as like you know there were moments of like when I first came out where like I told them like I'm a girl and they were like no you're not like like you know and but it's not it's not because I think they've always known like deep down but like they didn't there's there's when when you don't know like what it is like there's no way to like like real or I don't know contextualize that it's like the concept like when you say that like to actualize it yeah like people have a hard time especially because like you're saying like no one around you guys like you could relate to yeah so you're coming to your parents with this information and like obviously some parents are fucking awful when it comes to this but it sounds like your parents and they came along right they were just like i don't understand what you mean yeah and i think they started realizing because this when i with the onset of puberty and everything is is where my first i've dealt with mental health you know for a while now but that's when it first started showing up as in depression and anxiety and my grades started fucking up and i became you know kind of i was becoming a shell of a person and i think they could see that and then they were like shit okay this is this is like we got to figure this out you know right and that's what's like so heartbreaking for houses that like don't accept their child because it's like yeah what like let them be who they need to be because you're right like you're becoming a shell of a person because you're not like who you authentically know you need to be inside yeah and everything is telling you one thing and then everyone's like no no no don't do that well I think it's out of love like I think it's like you know and I think it's like my parents first reaction were was was like that because like they love me they want me to be okay and I'm I'm pitching them this insane idea that I want to I want to chop my dick off and become a woman like you know like like uh you know and that's a very crude way of putting it but like just sort of like get my point across like like and and I think no one wants anybody that they love to like endure a harder life than they have to but sometimes that's that's the fucking deed what I I love about you and like even sitting here your energy is just like so incredible and I think back to like younger you obviously like going through it but like what kind of like traits I don't know if that's the right word but like traits do you think like you gained through like having to really like endure a lot of like turning inward within yourself and like betting on yourself and relying on yourself yeah being trans has been one of the great challenges of my life and it sucks that I had to deal with it so so young and that I live in a world that you know is constantly fighting me on that um and it and it absolutely fucked me up and I'm still dealing with the ramifications of that today um but at the same time I would not have it any other way because it has taught me and it's why I'm so thankful for it it has taught me that uh like the power of intuition and kind of like the proof that I have like a soul and you know and like um and that there and that like all the answers are inside of me you know and uh at least for my truth and my life and whatever and and like that is like priceless and um and it's something that I use as you know a grounding force in everything that I do in my life now you know so yeah it's I'm so thankful for it you know first of all like thank you for sharing all that because I I know it's personal and I really appreciate you opening up because like when you're saying the intuition thing within yourself it was like made me cry because I'm like that is so fucking real yeah and so many people watching this are probably going to like that's why I want to share this it's incredible yeah and like just sharing your experience like that is like so powerful to be like lean the fuck into what you feel stop listening to what everyone else is saying i know it's so fucking hard yeah but when you can start to channel that like we all know what's best for ourselves exactly no one else does and you can even like you it's so weird like your layers of like consciousness and everything because you can totally on surface level be telling yourself something is right for you when in reality deep down and you and you know it's there but you won't look at it like you're only looking at this thing that you're telling yourself but deep down you know you you always know always know you know You can try to avoid it sometimes.

28:10Yes. And you literally put yourself in your own psychosis of like of like believing in this reality that is not actually your truth. It's so crazy. I also appreciate like as we're kind of just going through your life, I wonder and you could you don't need to answer. but like is it annoying sometimes because like a part of a big part of your life is like this this moment that you realize like oh like I don't know if I'm like happy with the way that I was like born and I want to be this way and like I'm so happy with myself now but like is it annoying when you're in interviews that like like I've talked about this before because I didn't want to be like I didn't want to ask you about it that's why I was like oh we got to high school in your life I know what happened in high school like I would ask anyone on the show I hope you know like you can talk about it as much or not as much as you want but like are you like can we move on like I'm this like so I thought about this today because I just recently had an interview come out where I I fucking this was the longest interview I've ever done it was two like four hour sessions and so I really just was I was hyped up on caffeine I was yapping I was talking about whatever I wanted to and I did I I gabbed about how fucking frustrating it is um to constant because like in interviews for like press things when I'm promoting a movie or something it's oftentimes the first thing an interviewer will will ask about because it's what makes me unique and they know that it'll get clicks you know but what's frustrating to me about that is I'm here to promote my work in a movie that has nothing to do with that and you are just fishing for things that will get you clicks and that's what's so frustrating to me about that this today when what I love about this podcast is like is that you like we're talking about real shit and life and whatever and I can't really talk about my life in full honesty without talking about it And it is something I do believe because I didn't really fame is something that I'm like, I don't like I didn't really.

30:21I knew what I want to do like with my life often involves fame to some degree. It's not something that I thoroughly enjoy, but I do feel like I have been put in this position in order to help progress like the movement. but do you ever feel exhausted from that like it's not your fucking job to educate all the time all the time and and that's the thing i don't like talking about like just like educating people on like the fact like bitch google is like like literally that's how i learned about it so you can you can certainly do it too um but as far as like my experience and also helping other young trans people who might watch this or watch some of my other work which sometimes i do incorporate my transition to my work you know that's who i'm doing it for you know yeah i feel like there's a difference between like genuinely and authentically just like speaking about your experience yeah people are like oh like i like what she said there versus being like so hunter yeah in high school and you're like jesus fucking christ i'm promoting the hunger games why are you asking me about what it was like being a tranny growing up in the church like what the fuck are we talking about yeah no I I respect that and I just wanted to hear from you I bet it's fucking annoying speaking of high school yeah did you like dabble with drugs and alcohol at all were you like pretty clean like so and that's something that I think the the church thing that I'm pretty thankful for is is I did you know I would smoke weed with my friends and I and now I've learned to i've come to learn i fucking hate weed is not for me i cannot smoke it and i had this really horrible experience with it like when i was like 18 or something where i like i smoked and i literally thought i was in hell and then i've never done it again so i'm like really off of it that's the only thing that i kind of dabbled with and then like you know drinking here and there yeah but never really getting into it that's been more of like a early 20s thing you know you need to be like in your room like by yourself or that could be scary or with one friend that you trust yeah and like ease in yes because that's my thing with weed is is like because some people can just smoke and just like kiki and bitch that is not how like when i have smoked weed in the past i become non-verbal i'm on the floor and like a creature like that's that's just when i have smoke that's what that's my tea that's what i get terrifying and and you can't do that around especially people you don't know then you're like psych yourself out and like hunter you're like yeah i'm just like no and also they're like it's weed like it's not that deep yeah it is that it is that i think weed is one of the most psychedelic drugs on on the fucking planet i mean that's a stretch but like it's it's i think it is very psychedelic um okay let's talk about euphoria

33:44okay let's talk about euphoria okay I think I read somewhere but like I don't know if you've ever actually like told the whole story like on a show where I can hear you yeah tell me the story of how you got the role and like how it all came to be um i i was taking gap year okay um and modeling in new york at the time i got scouted over instagram blah blah i go to model i'm like i want to make some money that's not what happened by the way but uh i left modeling in debt um but you can dream that's another that's another story anyways i'm doing like my model give um and you know right as i'm getting ready to like like go to college um because that was my plan i'm just gonna save up money whatever go to college um that then this casting call comes about um and i see it floating around on instagram and then my agency tells me that they have asked me to come in and so this happened with there are a handful of trans girls working there's a lot more now there's like a handful of trans girls working and modeling at the time we had all gotten asked to come in for this for this um audition and I was really like I don't know because it's like trans and like and it's you know not written by a trans I'm like I don't know and then uh but I I go in because they really want me to and because I'm like okay let me let's just like see what this is about um and I went in uh and by the way I have no acting experience I have no idea what I'm doing um so I get in and the great thing is that they essentially just wanted me to play myself um so I got to basically just like be myself with lines and I think that whatever it was it worked for them you know so I keep getting callbacks callbacks callbacks um eventually they fly me out to LA for like a final audition um in front of all these HBO execs in this crazy room and then I find out later that afternoon that I got the role.

35:40And, you know, and I was still teetering on like, do I, this is, was not my plan. And this changes everything. And I have to be completely honest. Then I saw the paycheck, the, the, the episode. And I was like, this is more money than I've ever seen in my whole entire life i i don't think i can say no to this um um and and frankly at that point i had also read more of the episodes i really liked the show you know so it's it's like it's a combination of those things um and um and i really liked the uh showrunner sam we had had really good meetings and i was like okay i feel like and it's the same thing that keeps happening where I'm being handed this thing I think I have to take it um and so I did it's so crazy that like you had no interest in fame and obviously like I'm assuming like once you took the show you guys didn't know it was gonna be like what it was gonna be so well I think we all knew it was something special when we were making it um we all like we loved the first oh it was so magical like we we all loved it so much um and we i mean we still like we look back on it as as like wow like like we all got to grow up inside of this thing together it's really special um um but yeah i didn't we didn't know that it was going to become what it did yeah can you like take me to that moment where you're like realizing like the show's out fame is happening everyone knows your name like yeah it's one of the most surreal things i've ever been through because it's um because you are still the same person so i'm still the same person but then the entire world's relationship to you changes like that um and it was i'm not gonna lie it was really it it threw me for a fucking loop and thank god we all the cast and i came up in this together and we were able to like like lean on each other in this just like really surreal experience um uh because i don't know how i could have fucking handled it if if um if i didn't have them and you know like particularly z um who's one of my best friends in the world to this day and she you know thankfully she had had some experience with fame already and and we were really close by the time we really like kind of you know fell in love with each other as friends in the first season and she was able to help me through all of that too but it was very surreal and I wouldn't say I had no interest in fame because I knew fame could get me the things that I wanted to do in life and I knew that could be a tool but it's not like I had any person and I still don't really have any personal like I don't personally gain anything from it if anything it's just like made existing in public a little harder as a socially anxious person but like um but it's a it's an amazing tool to like get what I want and to make what I want happen no it's so interesting you say that because i people always say like oh people think they want fame and money but if you just hand them money then they actually don't even need the fame that that part right because bitch if i could walk away from all of this with the money and and not how oh right life would be right and some people like it like i get that but like yeah some people do and some people are meant for it some people were like like this is what you were supposed to do diva do you have a moment where you were like found yourself like very overwhelmed by it all and you like were shutting down um so i i remember some of the first moments of getting recognized in public happening um like i think me and barbie were at a cafe and you know the first like four episodes or something were out and it hadn't really started um but then um but we're just at a cafe money our business and and then we have people start coming up to us and it's the first time this has ever happened to me and it's just really surreal and then I think the moment that I really realized things were changing was I was in New York doing press and it's one of those interviews I forget what it's called but But it's like it's like kind of public because they do the interview in this like corner glass.

40:18Oh, like the Today Show vibe where it's like Today Show. Like people can see you. People can see you from the inside. And and, you know, so I walk in to do this interview and everything's kind of normal. And then by the time I come out from doing the interview, a crowd and paparazzi have amassed. And then we get followed around. and my mom is there with me too and we get followed around by these paparazzi for the rest of the day and just coming from what i come like and it was i like i couldn't fucking process it and it was it's it's scary because like getting followed and having people scream at you and stuff it's it it puts you in like like a fight or flight like it's like like because you know you you can understand on a surface level what's happening but your body doesn't know that and you feel like you're in a cage because you're like well i can't open my car door exactly it's out you're just kind of like i'm sad yeah is your mom like what the fuck i think i mean my mom was great because i think she knew that i was really overwhelmed so she was just there for me yeah but i think we both at the end of that day had were just like what the fuck just happened yeah and and then you know it's kind of never been the same since well and i appreciate you sharing like you're like i'm a socially anxious person so like naturally this isn't something that i'm like let's go like how do you in moments where your life is feeling too hollywood like how do you come back to being like hunter yourself not yeah hunter schaefer like yeah vogue all the things yeah and it's taken a while but i've created this dichotomy between the hunter schaefer that i give to the world and then like hunty who that's what my friends call me and everything like like those are two different people and so the she the famous hunter is kind of like my drag and having those be separate is so important for my fucking sanity um and it's also i have it's one of my greatest gifts in this life is i have wonderful wonderful friends and family um and and they're people a lot of them have been around before I got famous and so they know me and and you know don't really can't really project my drag onto me like they know me for me um and uh um and so having them there is just like a priceless yeah that's amazing that you've like been able to figure that out pretty quickly because that takes some people like a really long time was not quick right okay well even though like you don't think it's quick some people literally get to the point where like at the end of their career they're like i should have like disconnected more and i do think thank god you have your friends and family that are like you're hunty bitch don't forget it okay we're gonna treat you like you're just hunty and you're not hunter schaefer we're not gonna treat you different because exactly that causes people to become monsters that they're like do this for me and do this for me and then you're not even a real human you're a robot no you're like yeah it's it's it's psycho and it's sad to watch because it you you know we we do watch it happen to people a lot yeah obviously i have to ask is season three happening like what are we doing girl um you know obviously i like the real tea is i have no idea fucking idea what's going on um and you can ask literally all of the cast um and it's um you know it's i mean here's the real tea is that a lot has happened um but at least for me and knowing where the rest of the cast is at and everything to i mean a lot has happened we have had um and it's hard to talk about but um you know we've had deaths um girl i'm getting emotional um and um it's um i think everyone feels a certain um sense of oh girl sorry um anticipation um for like if we are supposed to do this season three of like um obviously i'm still coming to qualms with what's happened um and losing people that we uh really loved and we're a part of this family and everything you know um and uh and i think season And if we do go back, it's, it's, that's going to be tough.

44:59I mean, and I think there's a world in which we can channel that into making it a beautiful season three if it is supposed to happen. But I think, you know, that shit really threw everyone for a loop. So on an emotional level, and then there's, you know, all these, you know, industry, whatever political things that are, that go into whether or not this is happening. but that's emotionally I think where a big part of what's happening yeah too you know um I'm so fucking sorry and like it it clearly like you were obviously so close when you even talk about the cast I'm just so sorry because like when you talk about like this rise like this is this became like your family yeah like these are people that you were like fuck I don't know how to handle this none of us know how to handle this let's all lean on each other so like I can't imagine and I'm so sorry and like thank you there is no right or wrong whether you guys come back or don't like it's been one of the most incredible rides you guys have done such an incredible job and like thank you for giving your life to something that has like really brought so many people like entertainment and happiness and like there's a lot of themes that I think people have like loved that are very progressive and have just like helped a lot of people so whether it comes back or not thank you we love you all thank you and we support you thank you and thank you for being being real with me and let me give my emotional tease and whatever because it's still i'm still of course in it girl it's it's crazy grief is a motherfucker and it's not linear and some days you'll see a picture in it i know or like a thing in the street and you're like it'll hit me on the fucking toilet i don't know where it's just like you know it's you never know crazy you never know

46:57Okay, I'm going to shift our energy and we're going to play Would You Rather. Oh, shit. And then we're going to get into dating. Okay, yeah. We're reoriented. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Here we go. We're going to play Would You Rather. Would you rather wear Euphoria-style makeup every day for the rest of your life or never wear makeup again? Never wear makeup again. Easy. no shade to euphoria makeup I just am a no makeup girl love it you're gorgeous um okay would you rather send a nude to the wrong person or accidentally send a sext to your mother that's insane Alex Cooper that's such a fucking crazy question um I would well it depends on who's getting the nude um because like my friends and i like we we get you know they see me naked it's no big deal you might be like you send it to an extra but what if i fucking send it to my mom then that's might just be as bad as the sex um um you know what i think you know my mom has seen me get butt fucked on television i think she can handle an accidental sex and we can recover from that i love that this is so much about you what would you do honestly i guess i was gonna say the nude but again it depends who it's to because if like i'm looking cute like yeah it's like accidentally i sent it to an ex i'm like yeah but right that's you know yeah not bad but if it's to like a co-worker or like a producer an executive oh no ma 'am absolutely not i think my mom depending on the level of the sex yeah like if it's like a joke on your cop situation um i'm like mom i wrote it i'm like what is wrong i pray for both of us that we never have to deal with that too yes me too um what is your opinion on sexting um it's like i've tried i've had I've had cute moments with it never it's never ideal I would say it's exhausting it's exhausting for me personally I personally I hate texting in general done um I if we need to if we're gonna talk FaceTime me you know I'm a FaceTime girl uh so the texting oh no have you ever reused a nude absolutely the best absolutely perfect use of your time yes you're like oh let me go into the storage closet yeah we pick out which one i'm loving today go to library pick it out yeah get that shit out there okay here we go yeah drunkenly hook up with a friend who you know has feelings for you and you don't have feelings back or you have to get back with your most recent ex for a month um so okay actually you know what no like i so my friendships um especially a lot of my i come from a lot of lesbians in my circle um and i don't know how many lesbians you've talked to but most of everybody has already had sex with each other and probably will again and that is very much the case for me in my like like lesbian friend group um so that would probably be no problem if that happened easier have you ever hooked up with a friend and regretted it

50:28i don't know i don't really regret too much um okay no i mean there's i've definitely like drunkenly done things where i'm like oh girl like that like like that didn't need to happen but it's not no no no shade no no nothing okay okay fair yeah what is going on in your dating life are we single right now are we dating no we are i am single as fuck okay um are you loving it i am loving it so yeah so i mean you know like i think it is perfect for what i where i'm at in life right now um because especially given this past week's stuff where i am about to undertake this enormous project and the last time i did it you know i was in my first relationship when i first started euphoria and um i didn't know going into it how much of me it takes and i really live in that world when i'm doing it and uh and you know like that relationship didn't end up working out because I just had no capacity to like do a relationship so I think it is so perfect that I am single as a pringle right now um because I get to just dive head first into this um but um but um yeah my last relationship was like I don't know it's where we've we hit the year mark a little bit ago um since we broke up so yeah do you prefer someone in the industry or not in the industry um it's not really a I mean this is it's still tough and I still like don't totally know but you know because I've done both um and uh they both are really nice for their own reasons because obviously and I have this with my friendships too where like I my job and my life that I live requires me to be on standby all the time I found out that I'm spending the rest of the year in Europe like not even a week ago and and and you know it's like it's hard to maintain relationships and so the people that have stuck around in my life know that I operate on this level where like you know and and it's all like my best friendships are like this where like we can go a month or however long and not talk and then when I when I come back or when they come back we can pick right back up where we left off that's how i operate in my relationships i like it's just how it is right now um and uh and so yeah like with the relationships too it's it's like it's it's nice dating other people in the industry because they also work like that right so they get it like they're like they're not going to be annoyed that you're like leaving for a certain amount of time because i've had friendships end because they're just like girl like like where are you going where are you yeah um I have work yes yeah okay what is the best first date you've ever been on best first date I've ever been I so the date like dates is like not real I'm just now getting into like the era of my life where like I'm an adult and I feel like more like the the idea of someone asking me on a date or me asking someone on a date like a first date where you go to dinner and you like get to know each other like i haven't done a whole lot like a lot of like my previous stuff is like we start out as friends or random hookup blah blah blah blah um and then it turns into whatever it is um but i would like i would like the dating thing it sounds fun no okay did you go on a first date with your husband i did it was like the best first date I ever had yeah which is annoying because I hate that like I feel like some dates could be great first dates and then they like turn out to be fucking shit it turns out that he wasn't a dick he actually was a lovely guy and I ended up marrying him um but I've had good first dates but I've had awful first dates before I also think like it is more normal sometimes to just like go from friends and then all of a sudden you're just like hanging out at your house your apartment and like that's fine too yeah have you ever had it where like after a first hookup you're like oh oh my fucking God, the chemistry was so insane.

54:51Like, I must see this person again. Yeah. So you've had that before. Absolutely. Yeah. And that's, that tends to be when those, like, what will turn into a relationship. Yeah. Okay. Who is currently your celebrity crush? Oh, God. Oh, God. Let's see. Who is not offensive to say that you won't have to run into next week? Oh, no. Let's see.

55:21i don't know i can't like actor i'm trying to think musician no well i have a type okay oh what's your musicians i i love a musician i've dated a couple now i think i've seen that yeah i think i've seen that i've dated a few now um i love a musician one with like long hair one with like short hair you know it's like the little sucker in me that's just like oh my god you are so charismatic and you will play the guitar whatever and i'm like goo goo gaga has anyone ever written you a song yeah yeah oh and and trust me they know what they're doing too they know what they're doing with that and but it it works oh my god like on the guitar just like sitting on the bed you know yeah or or like you know send it to you you know like you know yeah it's uh it works i have fear for anyone who who has this happen to them because you're you're done you're gone you're done yeah if you meet another musician do you think you're gonna be like i have to break the curse and the pattern or are you gonna go back are you talking to any musicians right now like if you find a musician that you like again yeah are you gonna just go right back in oh girl um i mean no so like the thing that's tough with musicians or at least in in like my line or like with successful musicians who are like doing tours and stuff is is is like it's i mean and it's i guess it's the same thing with actors where they have to go off for however many months and tour and and then i'm working for how it's like it's very hard so i don't know if that is like in my path again because I've done it and I've tried it and really tried to make it work and it's just very hard and I don't have at least at this point in my life I don't have the capacity to like figure out how that works maybe someday though we'll see do you like how I like let you off the hook I'm like okay you don't have to answer I'm like I really wanted to give an answer you'll tell me after like you'll tell me after yeah do you fall in love easily so I'm like falling in love is like so like it's i'm still like figuring out like what it means because i've been in love with people who are like still some of my best friends to this day and um and like we were definitely like in love at that point but it's changed in its nature and i still love the shit out of this person but it's not like that infatuation so i feel i it's there's a part of me that's like is being in love like just a deep infatuation and then like that sort of subsides and then it just becomes like you just love this person i don't know it's sort of funny but i also i know what being in love it's like a whole body like you know right yeah but i think that makes sense I think you're like at that point in your life where you're like experiencing these relationships I've been through it enough now yes but like you may find someone at some point that you're like oh yeah wait that is different than infatuation right right that's when you'll know is when you're like oh wait yeah because love for me when I was younger like it really I went through a point where it was just infatuation then I was like is this love or is this infatuation right and then I think when I met Matt I was like oh this is like different yeah with my past relationships i've been like if we were in love in love like i know what that is yeah and it's confusing you know what i'm saying well because it feels different with every partner yeah and i also don't believe in like one true love necessarily no i completely agree um how do you handle when people like public opinion on your like romantic relationships that is something that I have learned is so my last relationship was my first public relationship I don't know if I'll ever do it again at some point when you're doing it it gets just too hard to like I mean you can try to hide but like whatever but I'm also I've also come to this point just with fame in general where like people are gonna say what they're gonna say and I really don't give a shit um uh because like you know i get called a man hundreds of times on the internet every single day it's like it's like i'm i'm so used to like the just fucking idiots just like saying bullshit all the time so like it's you know on one hand it's like i don't care and then on another hand it's like if you don't like obviously a relationship is is like personal and private and and like you should not be you need to eliminate as many factors that are going to make it facts more complicated than it needs to be if you can so i don't know i'm it's something when i start dating again or something i'll well i think it's interesting too like you said like this was your first like public relationship and i think there's pros and cons where you're like finally we can just like be yeah and like we can go into an event together like as we would want to naturally do but then you're like people are taking pictures and then people are staring yes And then when you break up, someone like me is asking you about it.

1:00:42Oh, girl. And then you're like, Alex, don't ask. Well, no, I'm excited to be talking about love and everything. Like, it's not like things that I don't want to talk about necessarily. Like, I've learned a lot. And something that I really love about all my relationships is I've, like, you know, even if, like, bad shit has happened in them or whatever, or they have, like, fucked me up to some degree or something, that they have all – I feel like all of my relationships, I've come out knowing that it taught me something about myself and about people. And that's like, I feel really thankful for that, you know?

1:01:15Absolutely. I feel like that's like the best takeaway from any relationship, anything in life, even if it's not romantic. It's a friendship. It's a work relationship. I was, when I was researching you, I was reading something where like your former co-star slash relationship. Yeah. He kind of like talked about like his need for like to get out of like his codependent tendencies. Yes. I'm sure you read this. Yeah. Were you on the same page? Like, is a breakup, like, where you're, like, blindsided or, like, were you okay? Yeah. So, like, he said that. But that breakup was, it was, like, a mutually, like, it was a mutually agreed upon.

1:01:55And it's one of the cleaner breakups I've had of, like, we both recognize that this is not working and we can't do this. we gotta go our own separate ways and uh it was so so hard because we really we really loved each other you know and he's he's a really special person and i love his soul and everything and it by no means was that really that was it was messy you know but but um but uh it was a clean it was a clean parting and um and he has a lot to work on and i also have a lot to work on like and and like and so i think that's also why i'm in this like era of like i'm gonna i gotta figure my shit out because that was we had a really good thing and but there there were things in our own selves that had nothing to do with each other that kept coming up in the way of the relationship you know so 100 yeah what are you like in a relationship um i think it's different for every one like it's really different with every kind of person too because i've been i used to exclusively date not men um and uh and this this last relationship was my first relationship with a man a cis man you know um and uh um and so in and it's it's different it's very different than that like uh dating i've dated trans women i've dated uh trans men i've dated cis women and and all of you know i've kind of been around the buck and it changes it like the transness is really interesting because everyone interacts with it differently everyone has their own like you know like like way of approaching it and i have my own way of approaching that relationship with that kind of it's it's it's interesting it's a sort of yeah no I'm I'm excited to like talk about it this is interesting yeah so I'm so thankful for my first relationship um uh and I've talked about this before too um it was with a trans woman um and uh and it was my um entrance into um sex romance all of that stuff uh all all of those were first in that relationship and it was with another trans woman thank god thank god um and i'm so and we're still friends to this day too um uh that uh you know she kind of like showed me the ropes because um you know dating as a trans person is it's comp it's complicated let me tell you it's it's it's not easy um and to know in my first relationship and in my first like really being in this mutual love thing um you know first time having sex that I got to do it with somebody who completely understands my gender it's incredible and it's like oh I'm so thankful for it um and and that's and so I'm really thankful that I started out with other trans people because there's there's sort of being trans or having trans people in your life um there's a lens that you sort of acquire and and it's something that like ignorant people who have no idea how to how to like engage with trans people or think about trans people they don't have the lens that allows them to see whatever person as the gender that they are presenting as or whatever and this is a lens that you acquire as you like you know spend more time with trans people and everything And so like knowing that that lens is there with whoever I was with, amazing.

1:05:39And then it's interesting branching out from there into like cis people, cis women or cis men, where I'm not sure that they have the lens, even with hookups or whatever. this is a constant anxiety I've had with hooking up with like cis women or something is that I'm worried especially also because I'm pre-op that maybe are they seeing something in me that I that is not part of what I give or something and they might want and I've had hookups before with like cis women where they wanted me to like fuck them or something like a like a guy and it's because I have a dick and like that's like and then like that coming up in a hookup and being like oh god like it's tough but then you will find cis people who do know and and just get it and that's what was so amazing about my ex-boyfriend was from the get-go never never a fucking he saw me exactly for who I was which is amazing it's amazing too I appreciate you describing this too because like it's kind of hard to know but like I'm I'm keeping up with you because what I first of all I'm so happy for you and I know everyone doesn't have that experience is like the fact that you were with someone you felt so safe with and you were like oh you get me because we're similar so it's it's a privilege to come across people in romance and sex and dating where where that lens is there if someone understandably is like I don't know like what you want and they come to you like vulnerable of like yeah i really like you like are you open to like that's such a turn on oh my god like tell me what you want they are coming because you know it puts their intention on the table of oh i like you i do want to do this with you i'm just i'm just a little inexperienced here love that love that amazing it's it's when they don't and they don't know what they want or they want something that like i am not capable of giving then it's like sticky and gross so your first relationship with a guy like just like a guy that was also my first monogamous relationship everything else had been polyamorous because that's what i came up in that's how i learned relationships and i kind of touched on it before i've i had like i had built up a complex against men understand and so like because most if not all of my deeply painful experiences I've had in life have been with men and so I really like came into this complex of I never want to let a man that close to me in my life I don't see a world in which it's possible really I was kind of um like it was you know my bear I put up walls and and kind of been had been the denying the fact that I am attracted to men and I do want to date and whatever men and that that's okay and I need to let my walls down and so that's what was so amazing about my last relationship too is also and that's kind of what was cool about the public aspect is this is a straight guy who is in the music scene too and and uh and um and we are in a public relationship he's dating a trans woman and he's he's completely straight he's only dated this woman before and he's toting me around happy to be my boyfriend in in front of the world and people are saying horrible nasty shit because because it's like oh you know oh you're so he didn't he didn't care at all and that was something that really showed me too where i'm like okay you really yeah you see me for you know and you love me for that did you guys have conversations before going out in public together like were you anxious at all i was anxious but i was also just head over heels in love and happy to be doing it and you know it conversations absolutely should have been happening but also i was like 22 23 i didn't you know i was just like oh i'm in love right i look this person is so much fun you know whatever um so it should have been a thing but it was but i think also just to and listen like i like i've said all these amazing things with him he was not perfect and it's no secret it's out there in the world um you know and it's part of why the relationship ended is is i um i got cheated on for the first time and he said he's talked about this too like in his song you know he writes about it so it's it's it's fine to be talking about it today and it's like part of my truth but that like fundamentally changed me as a person and it was this whole process of like realizing that cheating has nothing to do with you at all and and and it has everything to do with that person and whatever kind of pain they're in or whatever they're dealing with it's it's all that but it's so hard i would say because in the moment it feels like it's all about you.

1:10:48You're like, what did I do wrong? And then eventually, I love that you're obviously like a year out. You're clearly at that place where you're like, I can, you know that and you're saying it with confidence. But in the moment, you're literally like, oh yeah. And then as a trans woman also with a man who has never dated that before, then it's your, my mind, you know, and I knew it wasn't the truth. And we both know that I've no doubt. But you can't help But your brain goes my brain because of the way I've been socialized as a trans woman. Like and it's been this like crux in my life of like why life has been so hard sometimes.

1:11:23I'm like, oh, my God. Like, is this it? Like, am I can I just not like like, you know? Yeah. But so it's cuckoo bananas. How did you find out? So I kind of knew, you know, you always you always get the gut. Yeah, the gut. um um and because i kind of knew i went into the phone you know yeah which i'm not i'm not proud of i'm not proud of either i've done it before but the amount of people that have sat here and been like it's it's fucking normal because when your intuition is like hitting you in the face you're like okay fine i'll look yeah and the reason you're looking is because you fucking kind of know something yeah yeah and this stuff oh it makes me so nervous to talk about this stuff because i really i have no interest in letting the public into what happened and everything i absolutely i want to make this very clear i have absolutely no fucking desire to like like because what happened with that was between me and him and and i want to keep it and i want to protect that but but at the same time i'm also like i'm here to i'm here to talk about my truth with him whatever you know and he wrote a song and like yes and i agree with you i also think like i wish people knew sometimes like you some things like are super deep in the moment and then when you're having a conversation like there's no ill will you've literally said like you were in love with this person it was it ended amicably like yeah and he's and he's the same way about it because he's he's the same kind of way like where i don't think he has any interest in letting the Republican either but but we both are yappers at the end of the day and we're gonna talk about like it's hard doing like the bullshit like yeah I'm putting on a face here like yeah you know um getting over a breakup like not even specific specifically talking about him anymore but like for you and what you were kind of saying which I think is like a lot for your confidence I'm like as a trans woman you're like fuck like am I not and you almost like stopped your sentence like Like, am I not like what came up for you when that happened?

1:13:23Like, am I not? Um, it, um, uh, yeah, I mean, it like really, I mean, like I said, it like fundamentally changed me and it's still something that I am working through. But I think fundamentally changed you. What do you mean? Uh, just in that I don't think I understood, um, cause I had never been in a monogamous relationship before. So I really my understanding of relationships and love and everything really was rooted in like polyamory and queerness and sort of the way that that world works, which is very open. And I don't I think I honestly I kind of looked at people in monogamy and be like, oh, like you're you're cheating on yourself, blah, blah, blah, blah, which is which is also what RuPaul said in that interview.

1:14:13And you were like, no, I just got married. Yeah, I know. and she was like sorry bitch it was like sorry no I was like oh my god oh my god and you know I so I don't know where I totally land on it now I because I've done both yeah and and you know uh and I think there's validity in both and it's really a choice and it comes down to yeah each individual thing but coming from that as my background and the way I learned love I really looked at monogamy as like a like you're shorting yourself and whatever and then i got into a monogamous relationship oh bitch i i get it i get it um uh like so nice yes i know oh i loved it oh my gosh but then it opens up the door for that kind of betrayal which is a different world of pain were you open to the concept of monogamy like did he initiate did you initiate or you both did Oh, no, I was open to it because, you know, I'm coming.

1:15:16That's what I'm coming from. So I, you know, I even like at the beginning, you know, I like we talked about it. But, you know, that's not that's not what we either of us, I don't think, really wanted with with that. And and yeah. And, you know, I think I mean, yeah. Yeah. Are you open to monogamy ever again? Yeah, absolutely. I really feel like, you know, I've done given up. I've done both now and and like I I know I can be in either of those positions but I really liked monogamy too it's really cool in its own way you're like fuck I hate this back to poly no but like now I see the fault in pop because poly is so much work it's so much work it's so it monogamy is so easy because it's just like it's very simple it's just like I mean you have to communicate a lot in either way but with polyamory you bring other people into that and other people's relationships and whatever and it's fine but then you have to communicate not only about your own relationship but about if if that's in the contract for y 'all about the other relationships that are happening and how that weighs and how to balance that with the person's your primary partner's feelings all that it's like so much work yeah it's so much work and like you're fucking busy i'm too busy right now which is what you know what i said this time we're single polyamory i'm too busy right now okay let's talk about the new movie that's coming out by the time this episode comes out cuckoo um yeah right that's what i'm that's why i'm here to promote my fucking movie i'm like oh my god okay like you're not gonna be like this is call her daddy yeah and the reason i love having these conversations though is like i get it we can do like a press junket of like no one no one wants to know more than anything about you yeah and then we want to go see the movie because of you yeah we fell that's why i wanted to do this right because i fuck i fuck with this so i i'm so happy you're here um thank you a horror movie yes your first lead role so this is my first this is the first movie i ever got it's not the first movie that has come out but right uh it's the first movie i ever filmed and it's my first lead role um and are you so excited i'm so excited i love this movie and it really feels like a baby like like and it was my first you know first movie okay um horror i'm such a little fucking bitch when it comes to horror i'm literally like yeah what's happening yeah what's happening like how did you decide on this genre like did you love well i love horror okay i grew up loving horror um and i also think it's it's so fun stylistically particularly with this director too it was less about the genre and even the script in the story i i just i watched this director's um who's toman singer uh his first film and it's his only other piece of work i think that's like out in the world that you can like go buy on amazon and watch um but it's called lose and i saw lose and i was like oh my god i have to work with this person on whatever capacity and um and in that audition process i i like i fought for that role um and i got it and it's amazing yeah and um i love this movie um i know this is probably like a dumb question to ask but like the process of filming like a horror film like me do you ever get like scared like i'm like i'm literally like do you ever it's not like that though i'm assuming yeah no like like me well no because there were some scary parts because we were filming in the bitch in an abandoned no um yeah here we go an abandoned like 20 acre post-world war ii military village like module that had been abandoned for 50 years we're shooting at night in these abandoned buildings that have just been sitting there for years that was scary but thankfully i the cast and crew and every oh such a big family i loved making this movie with them um and so you know we were it was so familial you know it was only like Like when you're like, oh, you have to go walk to your trailer alone and you're like in the woods in the middle of Germany.

1:19:32And it's like, bitch, what? It's kind of scary. But otherwise, no, I mean, I'm, you know, like in the scenes where I'm scared, you know, I have to be scared, obviously. I'm just coming from the perspective where like I'm trying to think of like a movie that you'd be like, why are you scared about that? Like, honestly, some scenes in like Vampire Diaries scared me. You know what I mean? i still haven't seen vampire no it was great but like okay let me um like halloween town did you ever watch the movie no oh yeah yeah yeah i was scared yeah the disney movie yeah that was scary i remember that yeah yeah i remember i'm literally so afraid of like or like on disney shows if it was like the like halloween episode i'd be oh yeah no those were scary they were twitches did you twitches twitches and the dark cloud they literally oh my god that's so scary you remember that yeah girl yeah so good honestly like a little pathetic but I'm so excited for you because obviously you being like having this lead role like it's crazy to this is why I love talking to you because you started this interview being like I didn't even know if I wanted to be a fucking actress yeah I like get this call and I'm like making no money from modeling and I get that call and I'm like I guess I'll do it now your life has changed how has your approach since now you're like getting on a plane tomorrow right to go to europe like how has your approach changed though to like yeah being an actress yeah so i you know because i was fine i i was like you know i was really under the belief for like a few years into it that like okay i'm just doing this for right now and it's helping yeah my career whatever i'm making money this is great but i don't know if i like if this is what i'm supposed to do and then now i'm in this place where i've i've because i've been doing it and i get it now because also you have to you have to know like i'm learning how to act on the spot with the first two seasons of euphoria and everything you're so fucking good thank you you wouldn't even know thank you but like i'm i'm learning i like i didn't understand the craft i had no idea what i was doing and i finally in that process and in this process of like just like take like letting this career happen to me i've fallen in love with the craft And now I'm at this place where I'm like, okay, maybe this isn't what I thought that I was put on this art to do.

1:21:48But this is just another form. I get to put all my creative energy that I used to put into my journals and in my art and everything into this. And I understand how that works now. And I've fallen in love with it. So now it's at this great point where I'm like, okay, this is one of my superpowers. This is what I can do. And I love it. Hunter I'm gonna be honest it this was like one of my favorite interviews no seriously like sitting across from you I'm like inspired and also like this is why I love what I do because I've watched you I see your social media but like sitting with you for an hour and whatever like you're fucking awesome thank you and like this it's just so cool because actresses we don't get to see and even musicians like we don't get to see as much obviously of your personality when you're like right these characters we're putting our drag in the world exactly but today you coming here like stripped down like being yourself and like opening up i'm like thank you so much thank you for giving me the it's it's i'm i'm nervous about like you know showing the world like you know my real tea so you know i'm that you shouldn't it scares me but but to do it with you thank you for making the space and everything and and like just being here and kicking with me that's what this felt like you're amazing i literally could keep going but like i know we have to stop but i love you thank you i love you too this was great