I Found My Wedding Dress

0:00Sunday morning, Father's calling. do do do do do do do do every sunday's father's day that was pretty good right okay let's fucking do this hello everyone welcome back to another episode of call her daddy it is alex cooper reporting live from a mental breakdown it's me i'm here to take care of you today because no one's fucking taking care of me let me just be really honest, I'm in a really, really, really strange mood today, probably because I'm sick. I'm sick in the head and I'm actually physically sick. Why am I sick? Unfortunately, it's not just the common cold that just came from, you know, being run down.

0:46I had a photo shoot on Sunday that lasted almost 12 hours and it started raining in Los Angeles, which is already a bad sign. Like something in the air is not right. You know, there was a fucking thunderstorm. I personally love thunderstorms, but you know, when I love thunderstorms, I love thunderstorms when I'm tucked into my fucking bed and I'm cozied up and I'm let the rain fall down and I'm watching it from inside. However, I'm in barely no clothes and I'm gallivanting around my backyard in the fucking pouring rain. Now, a lot of you may be like, Alex, why didn't you just fucking stop? Like, why don't you just go inside?

1:24Because I'm not a bitch. And I had an entire crew at my house and everyone was like, Alex, do you want to stop? Like, we don't need to keep going. No, I'm going to persevere. You know, even though inside I died, I was like, no, no, no. Like, I'll go through with it. It's totally fine. So I woke up and I cannot breathe out of my right nostrils, specifically the right. You know how sometimes with a cold, like it will flip flop where it's like today the left is a little clogged. Then the right. also depending on if you want to do the neti pot situation you want to really gargle that water inside of your nose and make yourself throw up water I haven't done the neti pot yet that probably is something I should be doing but my right nostrils completely clogged and I will admit I'm someone apparently that clearly just took for granted the privilege of breathing guys it's gonna be okay there's so much going on in my life let me just give you a quick update

2:35I am also in an annoyed mood because Matt and I are getting married pretty soon. It's like feels like it's right around the corner. And Matt and I decided, OK, why don't we use this as an excuse to like really get health and wellness? And I do not have a good diet and I don't really give a fuck because I am unhealthy. Sure, with my eating habits, but like I don't do drugs. I don't really drink that much. Cue like Austin footage of me being so fucking blackout hammered. Listen, like I said in that episode the other week, I don't really drink. But if I'm going to go party, like I'm going to be a good time.

3:14And like I will be ripping shots and like hanging out with everyone and like staying out late. But for the most part, like it's Grandpa Cooper now, you know, and I'm not really ever indulging in anything that's that bad for me. And so my vice is really shitty food. So Matt presented this idea of like, OK, what if before the wedding we start getting a meal service? and that way we will be holding ourselves accountable to just eat a little bit better before the wedding. Matt and I, of course, this is like, of course this is happening and I'm sure other people can relate. Like there are times in the year that my work schedule is not that crazy.

3:52I don't really know when, but there have been times where it's like maybe, no, like summer, like summer is usually like a little bit more of like a lull for my work. Right now, I don't think I have ever been more busy with my network and signing new talent. And I'm also in the last year of my contract of licensing the show. So like, I'm trying to figure out like what's going to happen with call her daddy. Like I am so fucking busy. Okay. And when I get so busy, I eat even worse. And poor Matt, like before he met me, he was like green juice live in, like being from California, that man didn't even know what a fucking cheese steak was to save his goddamn life.

4:33Okay. And now I have infiltrated him and I've completely corrupted this man. Like he is downing carbs left and right. And he's like, you need to get away from me. I need to eat healthy before this wedding. And so this meal service, which I will say is the food is actually fabulous. I have maybe done a meal service never in my life. So all I had to go off of was like, ooh, like I wonder what it would be. And to me, it feels like it's going to be like this like stale, nasty, like mahi-mahi or like, yeah, there is some mahi-mahi. Is mahi-mahi? Ahi-ahi? Mahi? Mahi? Tuna, okay? Some type of fucking fish.

5:14And it wouldn't fill me. It wouldn't fill me physically and it wouldn't fill me in my soul. But what I will say is this food is actually really, really good. And I would say I lasted about a week on this plan. And so the other night I broke and I was like, Matt, I can't take this anymore. Like I don't even feel good. And he's like, I feel great. I've never, I'm like, I don't, I feel, I feel like I'm preventing myself from actually eating what I want to fucking eat. And if I want to eat a sandwich or if I want to eat like a fucking tostada with a bunch of ranch, like I want to be able to do that, you know?

5:51And this is what I will say to my bride to bees. I get it. We want to look so good on our wedding day. But I also just like want to feel like myself on my wedding day. So what else is going on? Oh, my God. Last night I was up late. I was getting a little stressed because Matt and I were trying to plan like where is everybody sitting? and we're going through table settings of like who's sitting next to who and you know what like I actually fucking despise when I go to weddings and people pick seats for people where you're like not being mindful like I get it it's not about my friends or my family it's about Matt and I but I also want people to have a good fucking time so Matt and I are like strategically last night up all night and we're going through like the seating chart and we're like this person like this person and this person will happy be happy here and this person will like and I felt like I was doing a fucking a Rubik's Cube because I'm like oh my god like this person doesn't really know anyone or this person's single so let's put them next to this single person and I'm playing matchmaker and I'm also making sure like family drama doesn't get involved and I'm just we're moving we're shaking we're doing all the things and to be honest like as much as I want to say it was stressful it was so fucking fun because guess what I get to sit next to Matt and I put all of my best friends around me and I was like to everyone else that like doesn't like where they are like we really did our best and I think like I was self-aware enough to really put everyone in a position to win so that was very fun and it was exciting to kind of just like get everyone ready for the big old day I officially have my wedding dress thank fucking god I had told you guys I had not seen my wedding dress I was getting it made in New York City and for so long I had seen a sketch of it.

7:33And then when we got basically like a month out, I had still not tried on my wedding dress. I was hopeful though. I think when it came to my wedding dress, here's the thing. I picked a style that for myself, I know I'm going to be really happy in. And I don't really know if anyone can fuck it up. Um, I guess they could, but I was choosing to be optimistic, But I went and tried on my wedding dress and it was it was so fun. I think I grew up and I'm not really a girly girl. So I think with dresses and princess shit like when I was younger, I was always trying to wear my brother's clothes in my core.

8:16I've never really like been like a gown girly. And I've shared that with you guys. I never really knew what the fuck I wanted for a wedding dress, which one I think when I look back, I think it was a positive and a negative. I think the positive of not having any fucking vision about my wedding dress was the fact that I could try on a bunch of things. And if I didn't like something, I wasn't devastated because I had dreamt of this style my whole life. and oh my God, it looks awful on me. Because that is something that I've really realized throughout this wedding process is like most women think they want a specific style of dress.

8:54And I really feel like for a wedding dress, you need to just like dress to what makes you feel confident and good and you feel yourself and you feel beautiful and you feel like you won't have to be, you know, like sucking in or struggling to move around. Like you wanna feel like, oh I can just have the best fucking time in this dress and so there's so many dresses that I think everyone has that style in their head because they've seen it on a fucking model or someone else they follow on Instagram or they follow on Facebook but in reality like you probably don't have the same body type or look as that person and so it's gonna obviously look different on you so I would say the positive is I had no expectations or really like I didn't really set myself up for a disaster in terms of being let down.

9:41I definitely think because I was not as leaning into the bridal aspect, which I do want to talk about because I've seen some comments from people in my DMs being like, why are you trying so hard to act like you don't care about your wedding? I want to be very clear. I am so excited for my wedding, but I feel like you kind of can't win as a woman where it's like I either am the full bride that is leaning in and being so over the top and I'm bridezilla as we call them and that has negative connotations or if you're the bride that's like pretty chill it's like oh you're trying so hard to be chill listen I am so not fucking chill about so many fucking things in my life but I am being chill about my wedding again I think when we grow up, we have a lot of feelings towards certain things that are personal to us.

10:31And for me, like my mom always said to me, like her wedding was really fun for her, but she didn't really get stressed about the planning process. I think a lot of it probably has to do also with what came before us. Like if your mom is like hovering over you being like, what dress are you going to wear? And you, oh my God, you look fat this month. You need to lose weight and blah, about like I bet you're going to be more triggered about your wedding specifically my relationship to weddings has been pretty chill and my parents um had a very like healthy relationship to the way they described their wedding to me and they were always like yeah dad and I could have gone and eloped like we didn't really care like we were so in love and we were happy so I think it also goes back to just like the way that marriage and weddings were described to me growing up like I don't even remember really what my mom's wedding dress looks like I don't even I think I've seen like a picture of my mother, but it hasn't been like, Alex, now that you're getting married, I need to walk you through my wedding.

11:30Like my mom hasn't done that with me. She hasn't made it this big thing. She's like, oh my God, like, did you pick a dress? Like, what's up? Like, so I think I definitely probably got that from my mother. Um, but yeah, I just feel like it's like, so it's so lame to criticize women period no like you know what I mean though it's so lame to like read some of those comments like I'm just like why do you care why is it so triggering to you I'm not trying to be cool like I think a lot of people thought that I actually was lying that I never tried on my dress a month before my wedding I was like I haven't like I hadn't tried on my dress.

12:10I don't know why that's so triggering. I think people maybe are like, because you need to care and like you're acting. So then if I was on the other end, I was having a mental breakdown. Is that cooler to be like, I care so much about this dress. Like I love Matt. I'm obsessed with Matt. Our relationship is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. I have worked really hard on myself. I still have so much work to do on myself. Um, but I'm really proud of this relationship and I have been so open and about my previous relationships and how toxic and fucked up they were and so like I'm not shying away from my wedding I'm just like I'm just so happy that I found someone that is the love of my life and I can't wait to have a marriage like I now am excited for the party but if someone told me you have to pick marriage or a wedding I'm just gonna do the courthouse thing like it you know so I think um I think it's just like there's so many distractions in this industry and what I will say is like the entire wedding industry as a whole is the biggest fucking scam

13:38the entire wedding industry as a whole is the biggest fucking scam every fucking thing you just get ripped off like matt has just been like going through so many things because he's been handling most of like the um conversations around like what are we spending and what are we doing and like I'll pop in and Matt's like oh we're like getting fully ripped off and I'm like oh my god amazing and it's just left and right like who was I talking to and they told me they were like I remember I called this place and I said that it was going to be used for a banquet for our company and the people quoted us at one rate and it would be the same exact time that we needed the venue, same amount of people.

14:23And then they called back from a different number and with a different person on the phone. And they asked for a quote for a wedding. And it was three times the price. And it's like, okay, Lynn, let me just call my fucking wedding a banquet, bitch. Like, it's just such a fucking racket. And so I know I'm super, super fortunate financially right now that like I'm able to afford my wedding and pay for it myself but at the same time like I did not come from a family that could just throw money around so like still to my core like if I can save money I'm going to fucking save money and if I can like work on a budget I'm gonna work on a budget and like Matt and I had a very strict budget that I think everyone that we've been interacting with is like, well, let's just push it up a little more.

15:14And I'm like, no, we're sticking to the fucking budget. So yeah, it's just been like, there's just a lot of things. I think that when you think of a wedding, there's just so much more than just walking down the aisle and saying your vows, which I have not written my vows yet. Okay. You guys, let me walk you through this whole, my brain right now with vows. I have this thing that I was talking about with Matt. and when I am writing Matt a card I find I have I have a way with words like I'm really good at writing love letters I'm really good at I showed you guys like the book that I made Matt I think that was the Valentine's Day episode I did I showed you guys that like personal book that I wrote Matt like when I sit down and I really put my mind to it like I can do a great job at writing and professing my love for this man.

16:05But it takes me time because I don't like feeling pushed into a corner like you have to do this by this date. And so you guys, I am not fucking kidding you. I have been waking up in the middle of the night, losing fucking sleep because I, guys, I'm a performer, you know? And so I am holding myself to the standard where like, I'm like my vows need to be fucking incredible like my vows gotta like it's gotta move everyone to tears it's gotta move the masses like I have to have people sobbing I don't know why this is the one fucking thing that I'm like really fucking getting on myself for and you guys I know once I get past the first line it's gonna be good to go but I cannot figure out what is my opening line of my vows I'm like mad and then I need like a banger fucking opening and I have been struggling so hard with it because I want it to be so fucking good.

17:04And it's like, okay, well, realistically, it's like, fine. Like I can just like write cute things and Matt knows how much I love him. But like, then I'm getting competitive with myself where I'm like, this needs to be like an ode from Shakespeare. And I'm just like, I'm getting a little, I will say that's probably what I'm getting the most caught up in is the vows where I'm like, I want, I want people to look at us up there and I want people to be like my god like she loves him so much because aside from also being like naturally a performer and I just like want to obviously like kill it I love Matt so much and I'm having a hard time like putting into making it not cheesy and putting into words like things that I haven't said before that are unique but also things that I've said before that like still hold true like I'm just I'm kind of all over the place so um and I'm like do I want to read my vows to anyone before I do them should I just keep it to myself like I'm confident enough to not share it with people but then I also want to get a gauge like I don't know so I guess I'm the most stressed about my vows right now also music you guys like no it's been kind of a fucking disaster Matt and I have Matt and I are not music people like we're not we're just not music people and so we are fucking struggling okay we have a DJ coming because I was just like I can't handle um I can't handle a band I need to be able to immediately be like next song next song like get out of here and I'm sure bands could be so fucking amazing and I know that like bands if done right can be so moving and so incredible I don't even know I don't know music enough like I'm not I keep texting Lauren being like is this a cute song to like walk down the aisle to or like is this cute?

18:53Like, is this cute to like leave the ceremony? Like I have no fucking idea. And so Matt and I are like idiots in the car and we're like, okay, like what should our entrance song be to dinner? And we're like looking through fucking songs and Matt and I are like, is this cringe or cool? Like, I don't fucking know. We're all over the place. So I would say music has also been like one of the hardest fucking things for us to do. Um, and then aside from like almost on, I would say like a week ago and we're like and I'm when I tell you guys we are right around the corner like we are right around the corner from my wedding um Matt basically blew up Friday and Saturday night because we were basically getting like completely ripped off and that was like then we'll just like not do any of it and I'm like having a mental breakdown because I'm like Matt I love you so much but like you can't just completely dismember the wedding right before the wedding and he's like no like we're like I'm not going to spend that money like we should not have to spend that that we're getting ripped off and I'm like okay perfect give me a fucking cocktail honestly I'm just like um I think I want a vanilla cake like it's been fun and stressful but again because of how crazy work has been I'm like on conversations with my lawyer and then I'm also like on with the wedding planners and and it's just it's it's a lot right now but a part of me like loves the chaos like I don't really know a life without being on my toes on the tippy tippy toes of my toes, like really just winging it.

20:19I feel like I'm at my best when there is chaos in my life. Um, I don't know if that's like from the, like the, the athlete in me or whatever, but like, I just love crunch time. Like, I feel like, I feel like I go into, um, you know what it is. I feel like I get my most calm when there's stress going on and I'm, I'm a better version of myself in what does that say about me I don't have therapy this week so write in why am I so good in like I love when it's chaos because I'm just like oh my god you know what it is it's the Regina George scene in Mean Girls when like all the people are like rushing around her and she had like flung the um she let the burn book photos go and she's just standing in the middle of the hallway and everyone's running around her and she's just smiling I feel like that's been me with my wedding like I really feel like that signifies me with my wedding is just me staring, just thinking about like, what tequila am I going to drink?

21:15I'm going to look so fucking good in my dresses. I can't wait to be with my best friends. And Matt is like, the fucking wedding is on fire, Alex. Like, fuck. And I'm like, you'll figure it out. Also, what's been so fun. Let me quickly check from Lauren. Lauren just ordered 17 fucking dresses to her apartment and she's in the middle of trying to pick which dresses she was going to wear. All my friends and I are on a group chat because it's kind of difficult with tropical. You're like, you don't want to go too tropical so that it's like so tropical. But then you're also like, but you don't want to look like you're like, you should be in a ballroom in New York City.

21:48So it's been like really fun. My friends are trying on dresses and sending them to me. I don't know why there was like a rumor online that I was getting married in Barcelona. As cool as that sounds, I'm definitely not getting married in Barcelona. That just is not me. It sounds fun and bougie, but no, I'm getting married in a tropical location with sand and tequila and music and friends and family. What other wedding updates have we, we, what do we have?

22:39Oh, so Matt and I from the wedding will be going right onto our honeymoon, which I was so fucking stressed about because I had to pack for my entire honeymoon and I'm having to pack for my wedding soon. So I'm like my honeymoon, basically we're shipping our bags to the honeymoon location. So I'm like a couple of weeks out having to pack for my honeymoon right now. And I'm like, this is kind of fucking bizarre. or how do I know what I want to wear on my honeymoon? I haven't even had my fucking wedding yet. So I've been packing and I just like, I feel like it hasn't really hit me that I'm getting completely like married, having a wedding.

23:14And I don't think it's going to hit me until I land. And I see the sand and the beach and I'm really excited though. And just so you guys know, like, I'm going to decide obviously like what I want to share, but I'm really excited for just like having a private intimate moment with Matt for a second but at the end of the day like of course I'm going to share wedding stuff with you guys in some capacity I don't know exactly what it will be yet but you guys have been with me since the beginning of my chaotic journey I guess like if we're looking at ourselves in a romantic way um this is the longest romantic relationship I've ever had in my life I don't know why I'm saying we're in a romantic relationship I feel like it's more like friendship but let's just pretend because it makes me feel good this is the healthiest longest relationship I've ever had.

24:01And I owe so much to you guys, honestly. As I'm prepping for this wedding, I feel this is kind of corny, but it's the truth. I really feel like this show has helped me grow so much as a person and as a woman and as a friend and as a partner. I feel like when I started this show, I was where most people are in their early 20s. Like I was very all over the place and I was trying to have fun and I was going for what would socially be the most fun for me. And like my friends and I would go for guys that could just like take us to dinners and bring us to cool places. And that was so fun. And the unfortunate part of the surface level relationships is like I didn't really get to connect with people in a way that I felt fulfilled.

24:54And I think now as I've grown, a lot of my growth sure has been, shout out to my therapist, but a lot of it also has been through the show of like you guys writing in and asking me questions and topics to talk about and then having me having to pause and be like, oh, what is my take on that? And how do I live my life in that capacity? And I feel like I owe so much to you guys because you've always held me accountable. You've always pushed me to talk about things maybe that I wouldn't naturally talk about just like on my own or think about on my own. And it's been a really incredible journey. And I don't know what's next for me.

25:32Obviously, once I get married, I know like then you're like, ooh, like when are kids and when is all of that? But I feel really grateful that I feel like I have this support system that's you guys. And I hope you guys feel the same way. Like I hope you feel supported by me when we get to slow it down in moments when it's just me and you sitting and chatting today. And I hope you also feel supported And like the guests that I'm choosing, I'm choosing because I think they have a story that could potentially connect with all of you. And I find a way that it connects with me. And I feel like we have a lot to learn from each other.

26:05And yeah, I just wanted to say thank you guys. Because as I prepare to walk down the aisle, I don't think I would probably be here if it wasn't for this show. Like I really don't think I would have attracted this type of relationship if I hadn't been constantly having to look at myself every week. And that's also just like me growing up. And yeah, I just wanted to say thank you, Daddy Gang. I feel really excited for this next chapter of my life. And so long story short, yes, I will be sharing some version of something from my wedding. Oh, and I will just say, just to really end this episode on a fun little high, Henry and Bruce will be coming to the wedding, obviously.

26:57And I got them little bow ties and tuxedo looking things. And I'm just so excited. And I think people think we're fucking insane that we're bringing our dogs. But I'm like, they're literally my babies. Like, they're our family. Like, when we're sitting and eating every single night, when we're living our lives, when we're anything we do, it's Henry and Bruce. And I've turned into that crazy fucking dog mom. and I cannot imagine getting married without Henry and Bruce. And so, yeah, my fucking dogs are coming to my wedding and I would have it no fucking other way, okay? Daddy gang, thank you so much for listening to this week's episode.

27:29There will be a new episode this Wednesday. And, you know, just maybe I should do a questions of the week next Sunday. I feel like I haven't really had a chance to sit down properly and answer some of your questions. So next Sunday, maybe let's do a little questions so that we can really get you guys back on track. I'm sure without that fatherly advice, life has been out of control. I'm here to be like, OK, Papa's home. Let's fucking let's crush the shit. What's going on? Who's fucking you up? Who's being a dick to you? I got you. Let's fucking go. But until then, daddy gang, thank you so much for listening.

28:09I love you so much. I will see you fuckers this Wednesday. Goodbye. Thank you.