Kelsea Ballerini: Love Yourself Enough to Start Over

0:13John B? Is that you? Chase? Is Kelsey here? Hello father. Hello father. Hello father. Yes! She's a Nashville girlie now! Oh my God. I'm so happy to be here. What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper. Call her daddy.

0:44Okay, Chase is leaving because he has to go back and film and he has a life and he has a job. It was so nice meeting you. Thank you for all the shots last night. I smell like tequila. I still smell like tequila too. Me too. God bless. I'm in good hands. Yeah. Love you. Bye! Bye! No! No! You just go quick! Just quickly! Quickly, we're going to take a break for a little sexual... Oh, wait! What? Oh, my God! Okay. It's a dog leash, I swear to God. Oh, my God! What the fuck is going on? One, two... Bye, man! Love you, buddy! Kelsey Ballerini, welcome back to Call Her Daddy. Welcome to Nashville. Thank you for having me.

1:29I've never been to Nashville. And it's been pretty surreal to like get to experience it with you and Chelsea Handler. I'm like, what the fuck is life? Like what is happening? I cannot believe I'm finally in your house. I've seen it on Instagram like a creeper. But being here, it is the most charming, beautiful. thank you wait okay so tell me about this house okay so this is like my 1920s cottage I tried to buy this house 2020 during the pandemic I was in the penthouse which is crazy crazy I'm gonna drive you by it isn't it crazy too when you write songs or if I do episodes sometimes I think some fans can't decipher like is that actually true or was it like a metaphor like where did you live and you're like no it was a penthouse and I'm gonna drive you there to drive you back.

2:14Girl. Memory lane. Girl. We're going everywhere. But I tried to buy this house and I was like, I want a house that feels like I don't have to be a full adult yet. And I saw this house on Zillow and I was like, oh my God, this is my house. I tried to buy it. It didn't work out. Another wonderful, amazing artist bought it. She was going through a divorce at the time. I moved 0.9 miles down the road to a house that I never really loved, but like, you know, needed needed to move out of the penthouse um and then whenever I got divorced I texted Casey who bought this house Casey Musgraves yes and I was like I don't even know if you knew it was me that was like trying to get this house the same time as you but it was and if you ever wanted to like move would you let me know first and within like a month um she was like I think I found my dream home.

3:08Are you serious? We didn't use real estate agents. Stop. It was like woman to woman. And she was like, this was my healing house. And now it's like, it makes me like a little emo. Yeah. That is so crazy that she came here during her divorce. Yeah. And was like, this was like her sanctuary. And then for you to, also the fact that you even saw it before knowing like who had it and you just knew too. Something about this house. I'm not going to lie. Like even walking in, I didn't, it's so beautiful on the outside, but walking in, it's even more beautiful inside like there's something so calming about this house so daddy gang last night i finished my tour yeah crazy crazy like i don't know how you do it i'm fucking exhausted it's a wild world all the time it's so crazy but i cannot thank you enough for coming out the daddy gang freaked out for you like

4:07seeing how loud they were last night for you everyone was like damn like the Ryman is like popping the fuck off tonight it was insane we go to the after party yes and Kelsey's like we we need to take some tequila shots and I'm like absolutely because last time we hung out it was so intense so like that that episode was so intense and I was so nervous and it was just a heavy conversation a beautiful conversation but heavy one of my favorite things listening to you and your podcast is like how much fun you have. And I was like, I want to have fun with you this time. I think let's go. Let's get in the car and let's get it done.

4:42Let's get it done. I have a whole journey planned. I'm very excited. Okay. Buckle up, buttercup. Let's go, baby.

5:07I do feel like this is a good time to tell you that I got in six car accidents the first year that I had my license Oh my god amazing I can't wait, what the fuck? Giving chaos Um, I've never gotten in a car accident and I'm not Really? I'm not gonna drive today though I got you You're just gonna What the fuck? Oh my god, your car is adorable My jeep? I love a good jeep Come on in Yes, girl Here we go Godspeed to us. Oh my God. You know what? I get more nervous when I'm driving in a car with someone else. So just know, like, I'm not judging you. Okay. Well, please don't. Judge me for anything else.

5:45Just not my driving. No. Literally. Well, when you do start it off, Kelsey, by saying you got in a six car accident. Well. It's okay. It was like backing into a dumpster kind of thing. Totally. So you're from Tennessee. I am. You grew up in Knoxville. I did. And then you moved to Nashville when you were pursuing music. When I was 15. What would you say it is about Tennessee that is so special to you? Aw. I mean, it's just all I've known. And so, like, I had a very, like, country music upbringing. Yeah. And so when I fell in love with songwriting and I learned that Nashville was, like, three hours down the road, I was like, I have to get there.

6:22And so mom moved me here when I was 15. When you were growing up, did you always want to be a singer? Like, when did you know? No. I always loved music. Like, I did, like, Glee Club. I never had a good role. But I just, I loved music, but I didn't know that you could just, like, pick that as a career. That makes sense. You know, like, there wasn't anything around me until, like, Taylor Swift, if I'm being so candid, that made me think that that was, like, a viable option for me. And so, yeah, once I started writing, I already had, like, the background of, like, loving music and being really active in, like, my choral department and, like, worship a church at that point, which speaking of we're about to pass the college I went to for two years um it is a church of christ college oh my god um and let me just paint the picture for you please paint it I was very very very very very very straight laced okay did not drink did not do anything and in this college that we're pulling up to you were not allowed the girls not allowed in boys dorms vice versa ever So the most rebellious thing I did in my two years at Lipscomb, I dated this guy who was on the basketball team.

7:40And he and I both stayed on campus one weekend and he gave me his clothes and I dressed up as him. And I scaled the wall of this dorm. Stop. and snuck in his window and cameras just thought that I was him because I was dressed up like a boy. Kelsey. She's giving rebel. She's giving. Right there. Rumble. I'm not going to give my honorary degree. It's not going to happen now. They're like, we're taking you off the wall. All of your awards are gone. Kelsey, I love that you're like the most rebellious thing in college I ever did. But honestly, kind of rebellious. Also genius. For that climate. Genius.

8:27For that campus. I also love that like you now are an adult and you like looking back on that, like it was so rebellious. But like in those moments, it feels like the end of the world. Like if you got caught. I was a rule breaker. And it's me. Which you're getting to know me. Like that was not my vibe. It was like very scary. So did you ever get in trouble growing up? Like what were you like as a kid? Tell me. I'm an only child. Okay. So you were rule follower. The perfect child. Yeah. Your parents love you so much. My parents split when I was 12. Okay. So then I had big peacemaker energy. Like, I was always, like, trying to make sure everyone was okay.

9:05And that's been, like, the shedding of my skin the last few years, honestly. Oh, that's so interesting. I know what you mean of, like, you're trying to, like, appease to make sure that, like, did you ever think they would get back together? Or was it, like, it was over? It was over. No, it was so over. But it's interesting because, like, I've always talked shit about their divorce. and now having gone through it myself, I have so much more empathy and like respect and perspective for them and what they went through with a kid, you know? It's so interesting though, as we get older and go through more experiences, like you're just perspective on things change.

9:41Cause like in the moment, I'm sure at 12, that was like the most heartbreaking thing in your mind. But probably for the best, are you close with your mom and your dad? I'm super close with them both. My mom moved me here. So I see her like three times a week. Yeah. But I'm really close with them both. How would people describe you if they're like, oh, I went to high school with Kelsey Ballerini? Well, I think there were two very different experiences. Like the one that I went to in Knoxville, the one that I like write all the songs about, Go Bobcats, all that. It was like the two most impressionable years of my life.

10:15Like it's where I joined like the Glee Club and like had a really beautiful friend group for the first time. It's where like, you know, I had like my first boyfriend. Like all like these really like fundamental building blocks for me. Also, like there was a school shooting at my high school. I know it's like really heavy to throw into the mix, but it was one of those things that like really altered my life. And were you there that day? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did people lose their lives? Yeah, there was there was one kid. His name was Ryan. And he yeah, he passed away. I'm so sorry. It was like one of obviously like the most traumatic things I have ever experienced.

11:01But it was that that made my mom go like, okay, let's move to Nashville. Wow. Holy shit. I didn't talk about it for the longest time just because it's so heavy and it's so common. And also people just immediately go into a gun conversation, which I'm not comfortable with. Totally. You know? No, completely. It's like you were in a school, this went down, and that was your experience. That was so traumatizing. But those two years are like the years that I just hold like so closely. Do you have, if you had to say, like what is your oh, I made it moment? Like when it really hit you of like, oh, we've done this.

11:45Oh, like I don't, I don't know if I've had one, Alex. I'm being so honest. Like I have moments and especially in the last year, like there's been crazy shit, like doing SNL, being on the cover of time, which congratulations. Oh, and congrats to you. Like those are like things that are just so beyond anything that I could have even like dreamt up. But I think when you have the moment of like, oh, I'm peaking, you're peaking. Right. And I don't, I'm not done yet. I feel the same way. It's so crazy. Like people ask me that in interviews sometimes of like, what's your moment? And I'm like, there's the way to compare it would be like how when you're sure if I said to myself younger me would be out of my mind.

12:28Like younger Kelsey, younger Alex, we would be like, we're living our dreams. Like this is crazy. Like the fact that even we're two young women sitting in this car right now and we're on the Time 100 list. Like what the fuck? I don't know. It's not that I don't recognize how crazy, but it's when you're so in it and you're so motivated and you're driven, you almost don't have time to, like, soak it in too much. Yeah. Because you kind of got to just keep it moving. Yeah. And I feel like a lot of young women should, I should give myself this advice and you and everyone. It's like, we got to find ways to, like, be more proud of ourselves and take those pause moments because, like I said, younger us would be so proud.

13:07So it's like women listening to this, like if you finally got that job that you wanted or the raise that you celebrate. Yeah. And don't quiet it down. Even like I'm not even just saying this. Even last night I walked off stage and I was like, that was so loud. Like the fact that people like cared that I like showed up, it just like those are still moments where I'm like, it just wasn't like that a few years ago. And I think especially as women, we are like conditioned to feel insecure if we lean into like. Our wins. Yeah. A hundred percent. And people think we're bragging or whatever. A hundred percent.

13:44And it's like if a man was doing anything we're doing in this car, it would be like he's such a boss. Like he's hot. He's sexy. He like owns it. He's rich. Like. Yeah. It just feels strange. And I'm still working through that, too, of, like, how to be more, like, comfortable in my success. We're on Music Row. Oh, fuck. Okay, so. What is Music Row? Okay, so it's changed a lot. But it's 16th, 17th Avenue in Nashville. And this is, like, where all of the record labels are, all the recording studios, publishing companies, all of that. But we're going to go past my label in a few minutes. So it's special.

14:22I didn't even know what to expect when you said that. but it's like all of these little homes. Mm-hmm. Essentially, they look like little houses. Mm-hmm. And then some like condo apartments. And people just go in here and write? They go in, they write, they record. I mean, like RCA is one of the most famous studios and it's down here on the left. So some of the most famous musicians have been on this street. Oh my gosh. And made some of the biggest records. Not even just country. I mean, Nashville is like obviously like known for country music, but no, like everyone has recorded here. So I'm signed to an indie label.

14:55Okay. It's called Black River. Okay. And it's part of the thing that I wear is like a badge of honor now. But like, you know, when I was starting, I was in college trying to get any kind of like gig. Yeah. And everyone passed on me. All the majors passed on me because women were not working. Mm-hmm. And this indie label took a chance on me and like we've changed each other's lives. Dude. And so this is it. and they have a big like rolling up the wall command. Shut the fuck up. No, shut the fuck up. Your face, bitch. That is so epic. That is so, Kelsey, that is so iconic. Oh my God. Are you kidding me?

15:39So this is where I've like made all my music. Daddy gang, Kelsey's head is wrapped around a giant building. That is so fucking epic. I'm like, guys, that's a big one. dude that's a big one oh you must feel so fucking proud of your dude that is so dope are you kidding me it's cool i remember when i was in college like driving down music row and seeing all the people that had their number ones and all their like accolades out front and it's cool but that's also cool like you said like no one wanted you at the time you're working you're you're trying to make it and for someone to take a chance on you and not only to take a chance and then you prove yourself and you change your life and their lives, that must just feel so surreal.

16:23Also, we're moving into a place called The Gulch. Okay. This little area down here is very special to me because my first place that I ever had on my own is down here. It was a studio apartment. It was government rent controlled because I could not afford anything. Yeah. I lived there for two years, and I'll bring you by that next, but this is the song penthouse. This is the penthouse. Those top two windows on the other side. We're penthouse, yeah. What does it make you feel when you drive past that? Oh, I feel nothing. Nothing. Yeah, I really feel nothing. Now I just think about the song, and I think about how many women have related to it and told me their journey of, you know, when you play house and you're trying to make things work when it's just not working.

17:13And so it makes me feel very like, I'm proud of this chapter now. Totally. You know? Totally. But it is interesting to drive by. I'm like, what a time. And then right over here was my first one. I'll bring you over there. Wait, that's such a mind fuck that it went from like your rent controlled studio to then literally the penthouse up there. Yeah. And just so everyone knows, obviously, we're not rehashing it, but like the first episode that you ever came on to give context. Like Kelsey was married and in this relationship that she was not happy in and it ended obviously. But that was the place that you guys lived together.

17:49And that is where, you know, the song Penthouse originated from. It's like being so lonely in a penthouse. Are we behind sewage right now? No, we are behind sewage. Are we behind shit? What's so fun about being in the cars, like we get deep for a second and we're like, are we getting an accent? That is literally shit. It's literally shit in a can. you're driving behind a bunch of yeah perfect moving around nice um can we also just have a moment like i'm just you're a hype queen for a second but you just played your biggest arena sold it out like i'm sorry you're nominated for a grammy oh god girl it's been like the craziest year of my whole life of my whole life in every way imaginable like truly and when i sat down with you last time, like I was, I was still, everything was still feeling very chaotic in my life, you know?

18:43Yeah. And I feel like since I saw you last, it's just like blossomed in such a beautiful way. That was my first apartment ever. Oh, you were like in the thick of it. I was in the thick of it. Where were you at in your life? Like mentally when you lived there compared to selling out arenas and winning, you know, like just all these awards and getting a nominated for a Grammy. Like you, I am like, when I know what I want, I am focused and I am working. And so I think in that phase of my life, I was just, I was writing all the time. And that's the thing too, with my story, like I, it's been grassroots.

19:24Like the whole thing was just, it shouldn't have worked. Like I'm a female artist on an independent label in country music like there's not a lot to like of history that tells me that that could work you know yeah and so it it was just like consistency and showing the fuck up every single time for a lot of years and like this year like we've been talking about like there have been so many big moments i have to pass this truck of shit dude it's i'm doing it it's starting to give me the No, you guys, like, I wish you could see, like. Not a tractor. Oh, no, a tractor and literally just a bunch of shit sloshing around in front of our faces.

20:03We had to go. We had to go. But it's like everything for the last decade has, like, been such groundwork and such, like, sure, like, blood, sweat, and just, like, work. And this year, it finally feels like I'm not pushing a boulder uphill. You know? grinding for so long one when you get to that part where everyone is like how does it feel to be this it's like thank god it's about fucking time like yeah it's been years in the making of working and working and trying and trying and trying different routes and trying and people turning you down and people calling you crazy and people passing you that was something that i really had to get comfortable with of like there would be artists that would get signed to you know bigger labels with more like pull behind them and they would fly past me and i'd be like what am i doing wrong and I would spend so much time focusing on other people that were winning that I couldn't I was too distracted to honor like the journey that I was supposed to be on you know I feel like that's so could also be so helpful for people listening is like we are our own worst enemies we're comparing ourselves especially to people either in our industry or your people your age If you get out of college and I know so many people write into me being like, my friend got the job or my friend's making more or my friend's in the relationship.

21:21My friend got married. I'm 30. I don't know what to do. Like, yeah, we freak ourselves the fuck out because the timeline doesn't match the other people's timeline. And it's like it doesn't fucking matter what other people are doing. You don't want their life. No, you want your life. Yeah. And you got to just even like you said, all the way back to you being younger and things transpiring to then get you to Nashville. feel like it all happened the way it was supposed to happen yeah it's hard to trust the journey though when you're like girl it's hard it's hard because there's a lot of low moments and a lot of like alone nights where you're like am i fucking doing the right thing yes and i think it's okay to doubt yourself i feel like we like feel shame if you're doubting yourself that's okay like that's normal to be questioning if you're doing the right thing it's just the comparison that's the thief of joy yeah and i right i definitely went through that you don't have to talk about this but i did I think it was incredible because I was talking about it this morning with my hair stylist.

22:17We were talking about you at the CMT Awards. Oh, yeah. And your decision to bring out drag queens during the performance. And you got a lot of backlash. People were outraged. People were like, this is the time to cancel her. Because that was also during a time where anti-drag and anti-trans was being pushed. Especially in Tennessee. In Tennessee, yeah. Especially in Tennessee. Talk to me about your decision to do that. Well, what I'll say is I can't imagine what it feels like to be the drag queen on stage. Because the hate that I got for that was like the loudest I've ever gotten from like the public.

23:06But it doesn't compare to like what they're getting all the time. And it really put me in my place and like checked me because I was like, I've always been an ally. What is that? Like, but what does it mean? You know, and I just felt like it was a really important time to like show up in a way that I could on a stage that felt really important. Absolutely. and my lesson from that was like what I felt from the backlash of that times a million is literally what they go through to to express themselves yeah to love who they love to be who they are whatever whatever it is like and that to me was like a really really eye-opening takeaway from that I also we're on Broadway yeah I right as we're having like the most like intense conversation there's like drums going um no I just to wrap that up I will say like I think I can speak for so many people and then can't speak for the other fucking people but there was such an insane I obviously already had respect for you but there's such a respect I have for you to like make that statement because that's what I was talking about with people this morning was like I didn't know you were that I didn't like no one knows like who's an ally who's not And like, it was such a statement and it was so powerful and it's so fucking crazy that people were that disturbed by it.

24:31But I commend you for doing it. And I agree with you. It's like, we will never understand. But what we can try to do is uplift the voices and like keep spreading awareness of like, this is let people do whatever the fuck they want to do. Let them live their lives and worry about yourself. And it's it's disgusting to hate Broadway, Broadway. Holy shit. Broadway. I don't even know it till like... Woo! It is a Wednesday at 1 o 'clock. Yeah Yeah, dude. And dude! Every bar has music. I mean, it's so, it's so legendary. Like when I'm home now, like I'll have girls nights and we'll, that's where I get it out of my system.

25:11Got it, got it, got it. So I do Broadway every now and again. I also just like refuse to not be normal, ever. Yeah. Like specifically in the last year My life has changed so much, but like, I just crave doing normal, real shit. You know, like all my closest friends have like real jobs and you know, like I want to do what they're doing on the weekends with them. So I just don't, I don't want to cater to my life changing. You weren't even home for like, how many days were you in that house this year? I mean like honestly since I got my house last November probably probably 50 nights maybe yeah okay how do you stay sane and like where the fuck are you you're just I it to be so candid I just did a three-day intensive to really like make sure that you're okay I'm okay I just like I just turned 30 my life is like very um unrecognizable from how it was a couple years ago in all beautiful ways wait so what is a three day intensive so it was like um no phones and eight hours of therapy a day oh my god yeah and And so I did like talk therapy and like equine therapy and some other equine therapy with horses.

26:40Oh, my God. It was so power. Like it was really powerful. And it was really good. Like I feel like I kind of like tuned back into myself. And I think it's important for everyone, especially around our age, like as we're growing up and figuring out our lives and our next steps, like just to like keep checking in on yourself and your progress and your growth and like making sure that you're good. Okay, wait, so tell me, like, where we're going and, like, what this place means to you. So you're taking me to a bar. Okay, I'm taking you to a bar. Even though I'm fucking hungover as shit, Kelsey. Not for long.

27:13Okay. Broadway is the place that everyone knows, but Santa's is a double-wide trailer. A double-wide trailer? Santa is usually there. I think he's there today for us. Okay. He, um, it's, like, his place. Okay. It's my favorite night out. Okay, we're at Santa's. Merry Christmas. Let's get drunk. Just so you know, I love Christmas, so I'm very happy right now. It's basically Christmas now. Dude, let's go get drunk. I love how I'm like, I'm so hunk over. Let's go get fucked up. Look how just like, if there's one place like this, and if this place, I've been here with Halsey, I've been here with Ed Sheeran.

27:48It is like, it's the haunt. It's where people go to just vibe. Let's fucking go. Okay. Kelsey, let's go.

28:03This is what we're going to wear. Forever. Daddy gang, come drink with us. We're going into Santa's bar. Come on. The show has begun. Santa's pub. The show has begun.

28:20Okay. Hello? Santa is one of my favorite characters in this town. Santa! Santa! Hello! Hi, I'm Alex. Hi, it's Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. You don't even understand how happy I am to be here. Christmas is my favorite thing in the world. I am obsessed. My fiance is scared of me. When it hits, like, September, I'm like, let's decorate. So I love it. Thank you for having us. Thank you for being here. Of course. Christmas year-round here. Christmas year-round. Year-round. My favorite time of year, too. Santa, you know that I don't really like beer, and this is the only place that I drink it, so can we get too crowded?

29:01This is so incredible. Yeah, it's special. Thank you so much. Thank you. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Let's go. All right.