Kid Cudi: The Pursuit Paid Off

0:02What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with call her daddy. Kid Cudi, welcome to Call Our Daddy. Thank you for having me. How are you doing today? I'm fantastic. I feel really good. It's been crazy the past couple months. I've been filming. I filmed this movie that is really fucking gnarly. And I just rapped last week. And yeah, so now I'm like back into work mode on the album and the memoir. I was about to say, I'm like, wait, now you're throwing another curveball. I'm like, you're so fucking busy. I was like, you've had the most insane summer. You're going to continue to have an insane summer.

0:43You got married. Yes. Congrats. Thank you. So we have a wedding. Yeah. We have an album and we have a memoir. Yeah. Do you sleep? Like what's going on? I do find time to sleep. I do. People don't understand when I do, but I do. Right. It happens at some point. Yeah. We'll never know. Yeah. What do people close to you call you? Like are people calling you Cudi? Are people calling you Scott? No, I introduce myself to people as Scott. Does your wife call you Scott? We have pet names. She never says Scott, actually. Give me one pet name. Yeah, it's always Babe or Boosky or something like that. Boosky.

1:20Oh, that's cute. Okay, what should I call you today? You can call me Scott. Scott. Yeah. You know, I feel weird introducing myself as Cuddy. Have you thought about would you ever drop the kid? I have thought about that. I have thought about that. Talk to me about it. You know, I was thinking a couple weeks ago, I was talking to my good friend, Jean Baptiste. And I was like, man, you know, it would be so cool if I just like started a band. Like and just did like alternative trippy psychedelic shit. Okay. Like real experimental. and just like it was just me and some other dudes in the band. And, you know, I went by Cudi rather than Kid Cudi, you know.

2:13What if you went full off the reservation and went Scott? Yeah. You just went Scott. You're like, what's up, everyone? It's Scott. I don't know how cool Scott sounds, you know. It's a little different than Cudi. Yeah. But like you could make it have a ring to it. I agree it's a departure, but maybe one day you'll come out with a band. Yeah. Or maybe I'll go by Scotty or something. Because I feel like you have to have a little bit of differentiation between your home life and the people that know you and get to call you Scott. Yes. You have really good fashion. I feel like everyone kind of knows that.

2:47Talk to me about your fashion, like how it's kind of evolved. Oh, man, I feel like now, you know, because I say maybe last year from 2020 to 2024, I was just really big on like colors and, you know, dyeing my hair different colors and stuff like that. I'm pretty sure everybody saw that. I was dyeing my hair every two weeks in different colors. And now, since I turned 40, I've been, like, trying to find a balance of just, like, real casual, but, like, rock star. I see this all in the time. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, like, my shoes are all dirty and, like, you know, not so polished.

3:38And I love buying vintage. I don't really go and buy new shit. because I hate like wearing something and then seeing another motherfucker in it and you know and you know like with rappers it's all about like who has it first you know I mean so they do these fit pics on their IG and it's like such a thing you know and like I just you know I love you know buying vintage because you can kind of be unique and and and um also when you're shopping and you're buying vintage like it's like you never know what's gonna fit you you know and that's how i really get lucky with these other jackets everywhere i go it's like i can find one that's like really good you know and i have a secret spot in paris that i get all my leather jackets from wow you're gatekeeping over here i'm really i'll tell you off the air okay fair i'll tell you off the air come on thank you thank you come on lola would approve um what is your biggest fast fashion mistake like what did you use to wear that you're like what the fuck was I doing um I don't think I've had any fashion mistakes I'm pretty like when I see old fit pics of me and stuff like that I'm kind of like oh that was a good day you're proud you know how do you feel about the fedoras would you ever bring it back I might really because that's actually a good that's oh that's a good idea it might be nice to bring back the fedora you think though it could I could pull it off i could wear anything that's fair do you think your wife would like the fedora look i think she would be into it okay yeah because she trusts me yeah yeah yeah you know what i mean she knows i'm always gonna show up and like show out i agree with you there's some people that can literally put anything on and they just like have the aura that they can pull it off some men in a fedora scott um it wouldn't it wouldn't attract the ladies do you know what i mean it wouldn't make them feel like oh i want to get that so i agree with you like maybe you can pull it off and maybe you'll bring it back yeah i would i would do it in a way where like even if i had a fedora on with this outfit it could work you know i mean with the joint yeah yeah i mean because this was my look back in like 2008, 2009.

5:57Like I used to wear the fedora all the time. That was like my thing. You're going to bring it back. Talk to me about, obviously the internet is absolutely obsessed with you and Timothee Chalamet's friendship. They're like obsessed with you guys being friends. It's actually very cute. What is his best quality as a friend to you? You know, the best quality about Timmy is that he's super genuine. Timmy is always Timmy with me, not the Timothy that people know and they see in the movies. You know, like when he's with me, we'll be sitting sometimes. And like, he's such a fan that he'll like, like, you remember this?

6:40And start playing some shit that I released in like 2008. Like, this is a freestyle you put out. And I'll be like, damn, I haven't heard this in 15 years. and like he's he just supports me and you know acting and music and he's just a good listener and like I remember one New Year's like 2020 he came over my house and it was just me and him and we just rang in the New Year together you know just like it was so it was so dope and like he's just a really good dude you know and I don't have a lot of like people in the business that i'm that close with you know i it's just over the years i realized that okay these are industry friendships and and i have real friendships and and and timmy is not an industry friendship like we are real friends i've been to his childhood crib like met his dad you know like hung out like saw his old bedroom that he grew up in you know i mean like he still had everything in the same place so many women are like i'm so fucking jealous of you right now scott god damn it oh that's really cute yeah but he was like this is why i listened to man on the moon one and i sat on at this desk and just listened day in day out and it was so cool to just kind of see you know his world and uh but he's just a a really good friend and he's always been there for me and you know i like to send him i like to send him records before i release them right and like i sent him this one he was in italy so this is this is how cool of a friend he is he came to italy to visit me when i was shooting we are who we are with luca right and he stayed at the villa i had an extra room so he stayed with me at the villa right and like i played him like some songs for my album intergalactic like maybe like a year before it came out and i played him willing to trust and he just started bawling like he was like it made him so emotional you know and that and you know timmy always likes my stuff but there's a range in like his reaction like sometimes he'll be vibing and be like oh this is dope this dope and then sometimes he'll just get the fuck up and just really be going crazy and like oh shit i shit you know i mean so this was another one of those moments where i knew and that song is probably the illest song from intergalactic you know well it's cool to hear you talking about industry relationships and obviously publicly it could look like an industry friendship and then hearing you say you have a personal relationship that's way beyond just like a industry relationship is cool because i know which i want to get to with your memoir like through your childhood you had a lot of like lonely moments and even hearing you say like you don't have that many friends in the industry I usually think is a big positive sign when I meet someone because I think if you're just like kind of whoring yourself out to everyone and you're like a man of the people I feel like it's like how is that genuine and how do you invest that much time in that many people exactly um back up why now and why did you want to write this man I feel like I just went through a transformation in my life and I was at this place where it was like eight years I had been kind of on the lighter side of life and I had learned so much and I know you know the fans really want to know my story and they know bits and pieces because I've done interviews throughout the years and talked about my past and things like that but there's so much that is in the book that I'm sure no one knows about the book is incredible thank you super vulnerable like i love how you go all the way back to childhood you talk a lot about your rise to fame and you talk about some of the absolute darkest moments of your life yeah i want to get into a lot of it today okay um let's go back to the beginning where your book starts talk to me about what you were like as a kid in general

11:09talk to me about what you were like as a kid in general well before my father died when i was 11 I was a really happy kid. You know, like we didn't have much, but my mom, you know, was a great mom and my dad was great. He was there for me. They divorced when I was three. So I don't really remember like even living in the house with him, but he was still active in my life and I saw him frequently. And, you know, I, I, I was a happy kid. I was goofy. I was the baby of the family, you know and uh it it it was like that for a while but it wasn't until i was 11 when i lost my father where there became a change in me you know um and you know i feel like that pain that i that i endured when i was 11 stay with me and well into my early 30s you know when you talk about your relationship with your dad and that shift at 11 i thought it was interesting in the book how you talk about you as a child you like to spend time alone right and there was a shift pre his death and post his death of what that alone time felt and meant to you can you talk to me before your father passed about like what did you like about hanging by yourself and being in your room like what were you doing when you were alone i was just dreaming dreaming about what i would do in the future whether it was because for a while i wanted to be a cartoonist so um thinking about that and you know even thinking about being a uh an actor that was an early dream of mine in the book you write a lot about how like school kind of forced you to come to terms with the way that you were different than some kids can you talk about what you meant by that man i felt that like around when i turned 15 or 16 when i was in high school um it was kind of like I lost interest with school altogether.

13:31And I started to think or kind of know, like I had this feeling that I was like, I don't need algebra. Like I'm going to be a rapper one day. You know what I mean? Like what am I doing here? You know what I mean? Just sitting in class like this is a waste of time. 16, you know what I mean? And I always felt like I would watch other kids and see them focus on the test and see them studying. And I'd just be like, like, what am I doing here? You know? And like, I just, you know, and also I was very, like, I was the class clown. Like, that was, I was goofy as fuck. And that's kind of how I, you know, camouflage the some of the hurt and pain that I had inside me was to kind of be silly, you know, in some way.

14:27It's interesting because a lot of times on the show, I ask people, like, what is your earliest core memory that you can think of in childhood? And you obviously mentioned it and you wrote about it in your memoir of this. I've always known it vividly. Which is so crazy because you were three, right? Yeah. So you're three years old, you're in this car and you remember like your parents are shouting and they're going to get a divorce. Three is so young, but obviously something in your body like brings you back to that moment and you can remember it and those feelings. Like, can you talk a little bit about when you were writing that, like what that brought up for you and why you chose to put that in the book?

15:08Man, I felt that it was perfect because it would set the tone for the book.

15:16Because maybe some people's first memory is like something pleasant. And this was not like, though in the moment I didn't know that they were getting a divorce. But I saw my mom and dad like yelling at each other for the first time in my mind that I can remember. and like not understanding it but being scared.

15:44And from there, it was like, you know, I felt like it set the tone for what you were going to read. You know what I mean? And there was a lot of dysfunction in my family. You know what I mean? Between my brother's antics and, you know, when I lost my dad and just being angry, an angry kid and my brother getting in trouble and stuff like that, me getting in trouble in school.

16:14And I kind of wanted to set the tone with that. And I felt like that the book had to start with my first memory. I thought it was important to just bring people in on that because some people don't even can't even remember their first memory that that young three years old. How do you think your parents' relationship kind of shaped your early ideas of love? Well, the divorce didn't rock me because I saw my mom and dad still have respect for each other. Which is rare. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like there was a respect there. You know? Like he didn't. And I never saw, other than that first memory, I never really saw my dad and my mom get into it after the divorce.

17:03Like, there was always a respect. Like, if my dad didn't come and see us for two weeks, my mom would be calling him like, yo, get up off your fucking couch and come see these kids. And he'd be like, all right, I'm on my way. You know what I mean? Like, you know, and he just had a respect for it. And it was, it was, so I always look for that, you know, in relationships. And I don't think I always had that. Like, you know, some relationships I did and there were other problems we had, but that's like the core thing that I look for. It's like, man, like just seeing my mom take care of my dad when he was dying.

17:41Like, and my dad had three wives. My mom was the third, you know what I mean? so like nobody else came to take care of him nobody checked in you know we paid for the funeral you know um and i just saw i was like man that's what i want like i want to ride or die you know i mean somebody's gonna take care of me you know no matter what you know so i always kept that in mind and and um yeah i just thought that was a real powerful thing to see as a kid reading that that was like nice to see for you that you had that vision of like oh it can be amicable and it can just be family you don't need to be in love and together but at least we're all still riding for each other and showing up for each other right after the divorce you lived with your mom yeah your relationship with your mom sounds incredible and lovely can you talk about though growing up when you were young what it was like yeah man me and my mom were very close i was like her little partner in crime like when she went to go run errands i was there so you want to come with me to the grocery store i'm like yeah sure like just hanging around i was that kid and then when people would come like oh my god how old are you i would just hide behind her leg like

18:58no why can i like literally picture that yeah like i was super shy and you know my mom was like tell them how old you are. And I'm like, five. You're like, mom, who the fuck is that weirdo? Who is this person? Who is this person? I never wanted to meet strangers. I was always like, who is this? But no, like we just, we've always, and my mom lived in LA from 2023 to just this weekend, she moved back to Cleveland. and it was so sad for me because and I gave her a copy of the memoir and I signed it for her and um it was so sad for me like I cried I haven't like cried like in that way about like that I felt like I really cherished her being in LA I spent years like 15 years away from her her living in Cleveland me living in LA only seeing her on holidays and she was out here and I could just drive 30 minutes to see her and that's something I always wanted was my mom to live in LA with me like and kick it and like I just like not like it was it was brief because then I thought about it I was because I was it was coming from a place from like this place of saying like I'm gonna be alone now but then I realized like I'm married like I have a wife that's gonna hold me down you know I mean this is not like before Scott like four years ago when you were living on your own and like you had no one around like you have a partner you know i mean so then i was like oh that's right you know i'm not alone i'm not what am i saying you know um why is she leaving she was here because she was dealing with some health issues and i got her the best doctors in la but her life is in cleveland she has all these friends there and she doesn't really know anybody out here and it was good because you know um we needed to get her to some good doctors you know i mean um but we got it all set up and um in cleveland now and um you know she just wanted to be back home with her friends and you know she's trying to kick it right you know i got friends like i got a life a whole life that i don't have anymore you know i'm your life mom Yeah, no, I was literally keeping her hostage.

21:44I was like, you're not going back. You're staying here with me. But you know what was crazy? When I was a kid, I used to come up to my mom when I was like four or five years old. And I'd say, mom, when I get older, you're going to live with me and my wife. And she would be like, boy, you ain't going to want me to live in the house with you. So right when she moved in, I was like, didn't I tell you you was going to live with me one day? And she just laughed. I was like, I wasn't playing games. I was dead serious. i kept my word yeah she's like shit okay you did say that i was like i told you it's not a game she's now the one that's like i'm leaving actually it's cracked up to me i'm gonna go fuck out of here um okay let's circle back to your father i we're gonna talk obviously about the moment with his death and how it impacts you i know we've kind of touched it but before we get there i do want to go back a little bit hearing your relationship with your mother growing up you talk about your struggles with your relationship growing up with your father in the book um can you talk about what do you think was preventing you guys from being close i think it was my age like really like he because my older siblings kind of got a different side of him that i never got a chance to get because i was just so young you know and i think like sometimes he would open up to me and give me advice and stuff like that.

23:13But, you know, it wasn't like what my older siblings were getting. You know, the information, you know. Like even my sister, Myesha, like she has so many stories about like her and dad spending time together. And like, you know, she told me this one story about how like they were in the backyard looking at butterflies and like catching butterflies. And he told her that like, you know, if you sing to a butterfly, it'll come to you, you know, something really beautiful like that. And I'm just like, I don't have those memories with my dad. You know what I mean? Like we just never, we never bonded in that way.

23:50You know? I mean, I know he loved me. You know what I'm saying? He was definitely loving and like caring and all that, but he was very, he was a very serious man. And when I think about my dad's life, you know, He was in World War II in the Air Force. He saw some shit. You know what I'm saying? And he just was just a real serious dude. I mean, he had a silly side sometimes. But it would be very rare. You know what I mean? When you look back, how do you feel the distance that you had from your dad growing up impacted you before his death? Whether it was your personality or the way that you would move at home.

24:34it fucked me up because I would always hope getting older would bring me closer to my dad and it got ripped away from me, that possibility. You know what I mean? And like literally I thought like who's going to teach me how to be a man now? You know? Like I thought that. Like at 12, 13, you know? like who's gonna give me advice on women and like you know things like that you know yeah that's interesting because it's like you're saying in your core you know a big part of why you couldn't be as close is because of your age being the youngest you're watching your older siblings have these different relationships and in your head as a kid all you obviously want is to be close to your parents and be loved by your parents and so you're like all right my time is coming My time is fucking coming once I hit that age.

25:31And then your dad passes away when you're 11. How did you even like process that grief when it all happened? I didn't. I didn't. Opportunity like it didn't happen. Like it was no time to really, you know, grieve. Because it's four of us, right? And my sister took it the hardest. She was 18 at the time. And, yeah, she took it the hardest. And, you know, I was that kid, like, hey, I don't want to be an extra burden to anybody. Like, let me just kind of keep to myself and keep on chugging along and, you know, not worry my mom. just be cool that's what's so weird about family and sibling dynamics is like i'm also the youngest and you kind of you just have your dynamics where you know like whether if the oldest is more introverted or extroverted whatever then the next one applies to like an axe however works with the one above and it's all this shit so hearing you be like my sister was the most outwardly affected and upset yeah you obviously kept it inside and pretended like it didn't happen obviously that level of grief is still in you oh yeah it just wasn't being shown and you didn't know how to process it like can you try to explain how losing your father started to show up a little bit in your life after he'd passed yeah um i feel like it was like a immediate thing like uh school became really less important and um i was getting in trouble and you know stressing my mom out more and acting out because i was just an angry teen you know um and that was pretty much my whole teens my whole middle school high school you know I was just not a good student didn't apply myself

28:03and I say it was like that even well into my career like once I got successful I was just you know know at the core of me was just anger you know yeah because it was like you said it was stripped from me like yeah my future of learning all these things and these memories like I don't have and so then you kind of like dissociate and you just go about your life and then it keeps seeping out and you're saying like you were experiencing this anger I know you write though about obviously of like how now you are who you are there was an outlet and that happened to be writing talk to me about how you started to lean more towards that and put your feelings into your writing man um you know it's like this thing where i didn't have like well i'm not saying I couldn't talk to my mom.

29:07I'm pretty sure she, you know, could have said something amazing to get me out of my funk. But I still felt like I needed to have these, like, private, you know, writings to myself with my thoughts. And it was, it was, like, important for me at the time to have some type of outlet. to express myself. And a lot of the times I would just sit there and just write about the pain I was feeling or a memory that me and my dad shared, the funeral, what it was like, what I saw. And that kind of informed the Kid Cudi stuff too once I got going and writing music. Like being honest and telling my story and talking about my feelings was like key components to my earlier recordings.

30:13I also think what you just said about your mom and you being like, I probably could have gone to her, but I really needed an outlet. Like whether anyone is trying to get into music or not, I think that writing in general, your feelings is at first it can feel foreign to some people because they're like, what the fuck will I write? But when you're going to have a conversation like you're with your mom or a friend or a family member, you're just now trying to basically say something and look for something back that will make you feel better. When you're pen to paper sitting there alone, you're getting nothing back.

30:45So you're forced to just like keep going and going and opening up more and more and more. And then you're just realizing how much there is. And it's therapeutic. In times it hurts, but it feels like that early kid cutty stage, like you said, there was a lot of anger. And it makes sense why the writing could be therapeutic to you because at least you were putting it somewhere. Yeah. Right? There was some release. Yeah. You drop out of college and you decide to pursue music full time. Yeah. How did you decide that was the right decision and how did your mom feel? My mom was. I mean, I tried. I wasn't really in it.

31:30you know I hated the classes like my grades there were terrible my only class that I got good grades in was English there you go see Scott like English I was on fire yeah you were I'm saying when it came time to write an essay I was like what is about how many pages 10 20 I got you like I was the best essay writer like my pen game was strong of course but uh um yeah she you know understood it you know and and i was passionate about music and she had no choice but to support me you know that she had to she what's she gonna do like leave me out there on my own in new york you know i mean she had to like you know honor me and and let me go out and pursue my dreams was there ever a point that you considered early days giving up no I was crazy I was out of my mind there was no there was no there was no glimmer of hope there was nothing in the distance that would make me feel like this was gonna happen but I knew like I was just like this this is I dream it and I can see it crystal clear in my mind like I can see it I can touch it it's right there in front of me I gotta get there and before I left Cleveland I had this moment where I was smoking a cigarette and I sat on my on my Honda right and And I looked up at the sky and I was like, God, I know that this is the right thing to do, me moving to New York.

33:36I'm going to do everything I can to get where I want to go. I just need you to meet me halfway. If I'm doing the right thing, just give me a sign. and I looked up at the clouds of course I didn't see anything but I just like left finished my cigarette went back in the house and I was just like I had armor you know I mean I had like armor on my back I was like oh he got me you know he gonna hold me down you know and then day and night yeah absolutely changed your life yeah yeah tell me about how you wrote that song and how it came to you because it is kind of like you looked up at the sky and maybe there wasn't a sign then but you kind of write about it in your memoir like it eventually happened yeah like so the melody just came to me one day just fucking around uh me and uh my cousin richie uh my family out in uh brooklyn in new york um we would always joke around and make songs silly songs and shit like that and i had essentially the day and night melody as like a silly song that we would do and sing together like what were you singing like we were singing like the day and night melodies but like you know it didn't have lyrics or anything it was just like and i was just like it right so i had this melody like in my head for months for months and i finally get in the studio with dot and i'm like bro i got this joint i really think it's fire i think i need you to just make this beat i'm gonna give you the melody and we're gonna put it together and like we we cooked it it took about two days and uh it was just magic it was the because the melody just came to me out of nowhere the universe just downloaded this melody into my head and like i don't know where it came from but it just stuck in my head and it never happens to me it's not like i get melodies and they stay with me for months you know but it never happens i always forget it like minutes later i'm like fuck what was that melody if i don't put it in my phone it's gone you know so like for some reason i don't know if this is before the drugs got me i think this is before the drugs got me so my mind was a little bit stronger but um uh stay away from cocaine uh but but um kids you're watching yeah shit and there it was yeah did you realize immediately once it was live that your life was about to change forever oh yeah i knew like i knew it but i've been crazy this whole time i've been crazy for for a while now at this point so it's like i had nothing to lose i had shit to lose i don't even think at that point i had a job like i didn't have nothing to lose i was out there in new york i had a place to stay that was that's the one thing people are worried about you know where they're gonna fucking stay i had a place to stay um i had a collaborator i was i i was building a rapport with that we had crazy chemistry um like i had nothing to lose i believed in that like he believed in me and it was it was pure magic it was pure magic like how i found that how we became like i worked at amber crabby and fish i met rilwan in the stock room when we were folding clothes freestyling together he said yo i got a producer you should meet it's my dude dot he's real fucking dope met up with dot got in the studio with him cooked three records in one night and i was like oh this dude is like he ill and plus dot is like classically trained like crazy pianist you know i mean like um and uh yeah it was just that's something that's the angels brought us together man when you even explain that story like i can see you physically lighting up because obviously that time in your life was probably feels worlds away and also like it was yesterday maybe but what does it make you feel for like young scott working at abercrombie i love how like it was so random abercrombie love that shout out abercrombie it all went down the fucking soundtrack in the store was just intense it was this one song that they did i used to cover every time i came on i ran out to the floor to listen to it.

38:37It was this one remix of, if you're going to San Francisco, like it came on and I'll just be out there like, oh, and jamming every time. It was me and a couple other people who really liked the song too. They're like, Scott, back to the desk. What the fuck are you doing? They'd be pissed coming, me coming out on the floor and I'm not bringing out clothes. But no, like just how that happened, you know, like, me just getting and i was so happy about getting the abercrombie job because i was like oh i can there's so many young people there yeah i can meet people my age make friends i didn't really have any friends at this time but that was something that i thought was really interesting you wrote about how this happens but then you're still going to that job and i remember uh one of the lines you write you're like i'm standing there people are like oh my god cudi like your music is fucking awesome I'll take a size medium and you were like I need to get the fuck out of here like how did it feel when you started having your first fan interactions like were you cool with it was it starting to feel a little uncomfortable immediately yeah it was uncomfortable immediately why do you think that is because

39:56I don't think I don't think In my mind, I was ready for that energy.

40:10Like, I was not prepared. And I don't think there's anything that anyone could have told me to prepare me. But I was not prepared for it. I wasn't, at the time, built for it. and

40:33it threw me off because you spend what 24 years of your life just being a dude you know and then all of a sudden you are the fucking man and then you know you can tell when people when you meet people and they have interest in you only because of who you are and they don't know who you are and you can see just looking in their face, looking in their eyes, you can tell when someone's being genuine and they're always not. You know, it's always someone putting on a fucking role. You know what I mean? And it was very, yeah, it fucked me up, man. And that's what drove me to using hardcore drugs like cocaine, you know?

41:22I really just needed something to calm my nerves when I went out or you know just do certain things that even just really was leaving the house because if I didn't do cocaine I'd be in the house all day long but like if I did coke then I was like oh shit now it's time to hit the streets and had energy and if I met fans it'd be different because i like i'm just on the shit so i'm just like hey what's up man what's up i want to talk to everybody you know i want to get to that but i just had a thought when you were saying you know you weren't prepared for this and i agree like i don't know if anyone is but i'm i want your opinion on like in your personal life i know i wrote down you had written becoming kid cutty was supposed to overhaul the entire world scott had known and then you get to fame and you're like what the fuck is this shit you mentioned the relationships in your life you starting to have to be like are you here for the right reasons are you here for the can you recall like any specific moment in your life where you remember being like oh fuck like i'm completely whether it's being used or this is a fake relationship that i just didn't see and they're in it because i'm famous um there were definitely moments with like women you know uh You know, trying to navigate, you know, just being single in New York and successful is, man, it's hard, you know.

43:03And it was just, it was fucking like hard. and a lot of people that I was kicking it with I usually party with we just get fucked up you know so it wasn't like anything good it was all just rock and roll and madness and you know it just started to eat away at me like after a while you know I just it's like this is not serving me it's not making me happy you know you wrote about a few of your relationships in the book one of them being cassie obviously that is always going to be a big conversation right online um and you were with her obviously during a very dark time of what she was going through with diddy during that time your house was broken into your car was lit on fire.

44:09What do you just like overall remember about that time and that relationship in your life?

44:33you wrote about a few of your relationships in the book one of them being cassie obviously that is always going to be a big conversation right online um and you were with her obviously during a very dark time of what she was going through with diddy during that time your house was broken into your car was lit on fire what do you just like overall remember about that time and that relationship in your life. Yeah. It was crazy, man. Like, you know.

45:18Man. In the moment, it was just crazy. Like.

45:31I had a hard time understanding if it was reality. I was like, am I in a movie? What the fuck is going on?

45:44And it's so great. You read the book, right? Yes. I want you to listen to the memoir. I scored the memoir. I was just in the studio last night. I finished it up. So I score a lot of different bits in the book. And in this moment, I scored a lot of different beats, and it brings it to life. But it was, you know, just chaotic and intense.