Lil Dicky: Learning to Love My Dick

0:02What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with call her daddy. do you want me to introduce you as dave bird or lil dicky uh um you know probably dave bird really yeah because i had in my mind lil dicky yeah but i get it because your name is dave bird i'm a man right here in front of you named dave bird right like you're not your name's not lil dicky that's your rap name of course okay i should save all this for the thing right we're taught i mean that's where yeah we're recording okay we're in okay so dave bird welcome to call her daddy thanks for having me also known as little dicky yeah how are you feeling today great i love the colors it's our new studio we're still trying to figure it out i would say i love it i'm having a panic attack because i'm like a little ocd so like i know everything that's wrong with this studio i was actually just having a meltdown before you came what's wrong with it right now so i am really frustrated with the close-up shots because the um is that the close-up you can see the close-up shot what i'm not loving right now is the wide shot is phenomenal you get to see the different textures and the colors yeah but the close-up shot of you and i we're not there yet i think my close-up is better than yours would you agree i think it's because you've got the nice hair what's this is that a pink pink book is great we're gonna replace that pink book though with a pink call her daddy book but we put it in there because i wanted to find something that i want to like look basically exactly like that but just say call her daddy placeholder placeholder yeah we're still trying to figure out i would say the lighting's still off the call her daddy sign isn't lit we could go on and on yeah um the camera angles may be a little tilted it's not perfectly centered honored to be a part of like the figuring it out stage of this but you from like just a complete outsider coming in you were like this is good yes does it make you want to like spill your life secrets uh not inherently but it's just like if i had to like repaint my kitchen i would repaint it like this mauve that like i would you say this is mauve yeah it's like uh it's a very very neutrally pinkish beiges that's one of my favorite colors so really yeah like i love this i you know like i said if i was buying a new house and i had it and this is not just me saying it to you because here in your mauve yeah yeah but i would really like i think that is the right color i can give you the color from my designer okay great it took me a long time because actually this studio is the exact color of my closet and i wanted to feel like we were kind of in my house yeah while not being in my house yeah

2:53okay so how did you pick your outfit today oh very little thought went into it um it's uh comfortable this is a matching top and bottom so they're meant to be worn together it's so comfortable and i just like the i like the way i look in it genuinely like i feel good like i think i look good right now in this sweatsuit i agree i like your outfit a lot thank you i can give you my merch is oh is that merch it's my merch yeah unwell university that's not an actual college got it it should be though yeah i didn't even read the words but it's it's really well designed you just like the look you didn't even like hone in i just like the green i like that we're both independently wearing solid i kind of agree suits i agree comfort so i kind of want you to give like a little intro bio to yourself for the listeners at home the viewers at home that are like date who is this guy who is this guy like give us a little elevator pitch yeah i was born uh in a town called cheltenham pennsylvania it's like a suburb outside of philadelphia yeah like uh nice man uh love sports love uh rapping music uh i guess i'm a comedian at heart and professionally always kind of like love making people laugh but my favorite thing to do in the world is to make people laugh and I've really tried to take that attitude and create a lifestyle out of it, which I guess I have.

4:16And yeah, I could go on and on. Is that a reasonable intro? That was perfect because we're going to get into it, but I wanted you to be able to kind of tell me first so I have an interest in where you went with it. You are a comedian. You have a show called Dave, which is out now. Yeah, third season, yeah. Yes. You know, guys, let's give them a little behind the scenes. we're recording this a little before it comes out but right now we're like it is out go watch season three yeah it's out it's the best season yet so the show is loosely based off of your life that's right how do you describe the show to people that haven't watched it like i said i've always been like a comedian at heart so like my whole life i've been the guy that's like trying to make all their friends laugh and just like i feel like conversationally being funny is where i thrive more than like the way like will ferrell can do all these like really dynamic personas like i'm kind of trying to be funny in the moment.

5:08And I feel as though my show like tries to capture that realism of like a coming of age guy and his group of friends as they're trying to achieve their dreams in life, mine, which in the show and reality is being a professional rapper. I've lived this life, like I am a rapper. And I for a while, I was only a rapper, I didn't have this show. And as that was happening, I was like, you know, able to observe and be like, this life that I'm living is so inherently funny like the the setting couldn't be more fruitful for a comedy tv show it's kind of interesting to hear you say that too because i feel like a rapper most rappers are not also comedians right yeah it's cool that i do both i think that's cool of me which one do you like more i love them both evenly um truly okay like even and even as a rapper i i inject my comedy And even in my comedy, I inject my rap.

5:59So it's like they kind of go hand in hand. That being said, rap is certainly like a young man's game. Like, am I going to be a rapper when I'm 50? I don't know. But will I still be making really funny content? Definitely. Oh, so you've got like longevity. I don't want to rule out rapping when I'm 60. Like, I feel like if I can do that, that's awesome. Yeah, you could be bringing it in your 60s. You know, you could be figuring it out. Yeah. So your name is Dave. That's right. And we're talking about your show, Dave. Yeah. But now let's talk about you, Dave. okay you grew up in Pennsylvania tell me about your childhood what was it like amazing incredible had the best parents still have the best parents like felt so unconditionally loved had the best group of friends the only like adversity trauma was penis related let's talk about that yeah your rap name Lil Dicky stems from the fact that you had a medical issue yeah well exactly Lil Dicky when I think of as a rap name I think of like small penis which really isn't but it's like it's i think the spirit of the rap name was based off of the bleak truth of growing up and immediately having to get like operated on on my dick why did you have to get operated on it's called hypospadius which is um first off there were several operations and i don't even know all the facts at hand because i wasn't i was so young like how young i've just reached i just told my assistant i said hey like can we look into my medical records from like the birth and like all that because i just like even my parents like they can only like they're like well i think it was that and then i'm just trying to get like the actual true facts how young newborn like newborn baby like has to get surgery on his dick my urethra was so tangled it was like my mom says it was like a corkscrew oh my that's so interesting i couldn't piss right i mean they're projecting i wouldn't be able to come right they're projecting that for me and so you know jesus christ yeah that is like so you went basically because normal like little boys are like it may be i guess in the united states you're getting circumcised you had to get multiple surgeries i was like overly circumcised i was like you know i did get circumcised too so but like yes i they had to fix the tangled urethra on top of that there was like this condition called hypospadias that like isn't necessarily it's it's really a mislocated pee hole oh interesting yeah is it actually not at the tip like is your pee hole like on the side of your penis do you want to give it yeah let's give a little example here you go yeah okay like let's just keep it real so this is a boner yep that is a boner or any dick this looks like a boner more than a soft celsius is like thanks right here in the middle is where most guys pee holes are mine is there so like if a girl is giving you head or a guy is giving you head sometimes there's like a little swirly thing you can do with your tongue kind of like go in the pee hole okay um so they would have to go down and whatever swirly thing you would do to the underside of the head would be where my pee hole is got it i i do i mean i've never had another yeah here the whole rest of the interview you're just like holding the shaft i've never had another dick so i don't know what like getting head's supposed to feel like i do think that i have less sensitivity in my dick because of the surgeries that i've had so you don't like blowjobs i like blowjobs but it's not i'm not like like honestly i prefer a lubed handjob to a blowjob and i couldn't tell you why i assume it's probably because i think i just feel head less as opposed to like the tight grip the tight grip gets you going more than the sloppy toppy delight situation yeah would you like both uh a little handy and a blowy maybe sure okay i can just all i can tell you is i have a surprising affinity for the lubed hand job like i love it i think sometimes at least i feel like as women we get nervous to do the hand job yeah because it's like how am i going to do that better than you can do it it's it's a third party it's like nothing you know what i mean like it's just object like any third party touching a human feels like if i scratch my own head that's not going to feel better than even my hairdresser you know what's coming yeah like when you're doing yourself you're like i know where i'm going to go next my fingers the third party yes it's like where are we going to go with it yeah okay so your childhood aside from the penis surgeries yeah was pretty great it was great what was tell me about your parents they're great they're they're jewish parents that my mom is a therapist same i mean really the same I think we have a lot of similarities in terms of like growing up in Pennsylvania.

10:41My parents are still so in love. Yeah. I was like, well, you guys fucked me up because I'm never going to find someone as good as dad. Right. And it's just like I had a pretty normal childhood for then. I think we're relative to like where we are now. Yeah. But the Jewish I'm dating a Jewish guy. Good for you. So I like on. It's as if I wish my mother would have sat me down at a young age and said, listen to me date a Jewish man and only date a Jewish man I don't know how I didn't have this energy in my life prior yeah like it's just so much better everything is better yeah everything is bigger and better and happier and just like he's amazing so your parents were they strict oh yeah tell us about it I mean I thought of them as like kind of strict but I never like when I but when I look back at the facts at hand like I mean I never drank or smoked at all in high school okay in part because of the rules and regulations that were applied to the household first off i had the earliest curfew of all my friends every time by default it's just like is what it is but even independent of that i had to come home like when i was junior senior in high school i had to wake my parents up blow in their nose if my mouth smelled like obviously alcohol done but if it even smelled like mint or gum done like if there was any like yeah so it's like i couldn't isn't that crazy wait what did they think was happening with mint or gum they thought i was drinking and and trying to cover it up with a mint or gum.

12:05Yep, yep, yep, yep. So I never even drank. But I also, I think, deep down, was relieved by these rules because I wasn't even socially ready. I was fearful of drinking. Wait, why do you think that was? I don't know. I honestly think, I don't know. I think, truly, the reason I bring up my dick is because it created this layer of insecurity that was ever-present socially, especially once people started dating and hooking up. and like now they're playing spin the bottle and it's like so stressful and like i just like associated like i think drinking with like romance and and romance with like oh my god but does my dick even function and so i was just like pretty avoidant of like you know even though i was like popular and uh i was cool like i was so cool okay there's so many things to unpack here hold on rewind number one do you have siblings i have one older brother interesting but i carry myself like an only child don't i you do it almost feels like you just like popped out of the ground and like you're here yeah i get though the concept of like i had that a little bit also just because i was a very competitive athlete of like drinking when you're at that age is kind of scary because all of your inhibitions go away and you're completely out of control of yourself and at that point you have like no fucking tolerance so you're like one beer in and you're like let's do some crazy shit yeah and if you were insecure about your penis then obviously i could see you being like i want to be aware of how to like navigate these situations and not be inebriated and then like go do something and i'm embarrassed the next day when do you think you realize though you were embarrassed about your penis because like no one knew about it remember a time where i wasn't like i like it's like the earliest core thought yeah yeah um oh but i can you when I felt unembarrassed for the first time oh please share like I start my whole series of my show like at the urologist office like revealing all this information it was just like a true cathartic moment for me to like because I don't know I just think I think I had this image in my brain for better or for worse of like what I am as far as like my legacy on this earth and I think it was really largely tied to like this show being created and like so I feel like by becoming who I always thought I was with this show I was able to like put behind my insecurities and just I don't like do you know what I'm saying I totally get what you're saying of sometimes the best way to deal with insecurity is to just go at it face first like address it acknowledge it be the first one in the room to laugh at yourself yeah I had like really really bad acne in high school and in middle school but high school got so bad Accutane oh four rounds I was on it last year that recently I just got off like three months ago.

14:52I got off. You look great. Was your acne on your face? Body. Body. Insane body. My back looked like Vietnam. Let's talk about that Vietnam situation because I had it on my face. You had it on your back. I'm sure people listening are like, thank God, normalize it because it's so fucking awful. Yeah. You hate it. You're embarrassed. I remember that obviously affected me like with my sexuality a little bit because I was so nervous. I wanted to sleep at a guy's place. Yeah. Like I wanted to go and like be there, but I was too afraid to wake up with no makeup in the morning. So I would literally like if I did sleep over, I'd be like, yeah, I relate to that.

15:29Fucking move an inch because I didn't bring makeup and I can't like fuck it up because I had such bad acne. Yeah. How do you remember trying to compensate for an insecurity and like going out of your way so people wouldn't know about something you're insecure about? Well, with the body acne, like literally like a I would first off when I'm alone, I sleep shirtless. like I much but like anytime I was with a girl I would wear a t-shirt and I'd be like oh yeah I always sleep with a t-shirt and then like if it was after we had sex I don't have sex in a t-shirt but like I remember like like walking to the it was really my back not my front and I would be like like I would like walk out of the room backwards and be like I'll see you like in a minute and then like back out of the room but like even in high school when I had more facial acne this is one thing that I don't even think I told anybody you get the exclusive yeah I used to go into my mom's makeup area take little cotton swabs and scrape out her Laura Mara CA or whatever the fuck yeah and I would scrape fucking makeup and then I would you know have and then so every morning I'd wake up and I'd have these q-tips that the end of it had makeup on it and then I would apply it like to the spots and then I would like if like I brushed my face and like I'd be like holy shit and I'd be panicked and I have to go to the bathroom reapply and I told anybody and it was a big secret I used to always have these little q-tips on me all the time I appreciate you sharing that with me because what I don't think is fair is for the fact that I had the ability to like put makeup on and then socially it's like you're wearing fucking makeup Dave but it's like yeah I have a breakout and it's like how red it gets and it's it's fucking awful so I appreciate you sharing that because I've ever since I've just been like opened up about it I hate using that word like opened up about the struggles but it's true because like when you're in those dynamics you are so self-conscious people are staring at it yeah you feel so embarrassed you feel like gross and I think when it's also on your face you're like oh my god are they listening to what I'm saying are they staring at me like I used to hold drinks just like when I'd be talking if I had like I would just be like this drink trick yeah and it's like it's not a great way to live so I appreciate you sharing that back to you didn't drink when do you remember was the first time you got drunk college like where'd you go university of richmond and virginia fun school right yeah yeah so all of a sudden thrust into the world of like full-on binge drinking you know what i mean like having never even gotten buzzed and really stressful like totally in over my head the thing that saved me was i had you know how like some shot glasses are like taller so i had this tall thin shot glass that i was told or was under the assumption that it was a double shot so i would i would go out and think i would like all my friends like we would take like six to eight shots and go out and like i would only take three of the or four of the doubles thinking like i was taking eight and thank god because i and you're like guys i'm fine i've got the double yeah i don't need another one i'm over here having doubles but man like you know at richmond uh it's so fraternity and sorority based and i'm like not that guy i'm like not a like I felt and so like I was like you know one of my roommates was like pledging a frat and I'm seeing this guy get woken up at like 2 a.m.

18:45with no like planning or any idea to like get blacked out drunk they're not like I have no clue what this guy schedules the next day like he could have like a huge exam doesn't matter and I'm like I can't play this game I like they're waking me up and I'm getting blacked out I can't do that I'm trying to get like a great GPA so you were very very socially popular you said in high school yeah but you're not drinking yeah did you play sports played tennis i was a tennis team captain okay the most successful tennis team in the history of our high school uh but like that didn't really give us any social cachet no one cared about that i was gonna say i don't think i would have given a fuck i was just funny i was just i was just funny so like i was like one class clown and like you know i was friends with all the popular kids or whatever but like i was never the guy that was like the girls wanted got it okay so tell me yeah when did you lose your virginity 19 so like i was like and so i was it was like after a freshman year of college like in between the summer between freshman and sophomore year of college okay bring us there where were you who was this person i don't i don't like the name i'm not gonna give the names i'm not gonna but all i can tell you is i just remember like my main thought being like oh my god it it functions my dick functions and like it was such a relief in that sense like i was like so nervous that it wouldn't like be big enough or like be the right angle when like a girl comes on top or like you know what i mean and like had you never jerked off oh my god no one jerked off more no i was setting like land speed records for masturbation in like the tri-state area i jerked off so much no one horny or no one no one coming more but like not with any woman so for your whole middle school high school experience do you remember the first time you jerked off yeah tell me britney spears the music video where she's it's it's like she's in the red suit like on like mars lucky i don't think it's lucky i think it's like oops i did it again is it what's the not the school not the school girl one what was that one called does that oops i did it again i don't think it is i know what you're talking about she's in the red fucking late there's not even a piece of skin showing you know it's like a bizarre choice like it's just she's never been more covered uh but yeah it was britney spears and first off so i was i was jerking off felt the feeling of of about to come and was so scared by it was so different that i stopped and i didn't come and i and then i didn't revisit it until like six months later at summer camp and then i creamed yeah you like edged yourself for six fucking months you're like and then man like was deep in it a new man was born every day at least once um i was yeah i mean the the women were blossoming and i was like just like you know the music videos that were out TRL are you kidding how are you gonna watch TRL without jerking off at least one time you know thank you for sharing that because I thought you were gonna say you sploge to Britney Spears but to know you started and you were just too afraid because of your dick or because of like shame or whatever I don't think it was dick or shame it was just an overwhelming feeling I was like whoa like new feeling in life like I'm kind of like risk averse like uh not like you know how people like to be out of their comfort zone don't like that at all I hate the feeling of being out of my comfort zone so when I felt that sensation of like pre-cum um you're like not not ready I wasn't ready not ready yeah when was the first time like a woman touched you sexually was it the first time you lost your virginity no okay well tell us that I said I wasn't like the guy that got girls but I was certainly best friends with every all of it and so I was like hanging out with all the hot cool girls in my school and then one day like first off let me tell the story of my first kiss just so you're like aware of like the climate bring us through the timeline i'm the last guy to like everyone like i don't know if they used to call it uh like deep pruding did you ever hear that yeah yes you're so fucking prude let's be prudent yeah like oh so everyone in my entire circle had kissed someone except me i was the last one and like i'm sitting in like my friend's basement and like they're like they're like please someone's gotta just kiss him and i'm just sitting there and then like one of the girls is like just do it and she was like uh she was like really and then like that she went and like had like a she was like hold like let me and then the girls like went in the bathroom and like had like a 10 minute convo while i'm like waiting to see how it netted out and then she came out and she was like okay and i did it and it was like really over it was like that feeling of saliva like tongue to tongue i'm kind of a germaphobe like it's like weird um but i was thankful that i was given the opportunity did you feel in that moment embarrassed so that everyone was like just fucking do it i was so i i like yes but it was so like my default state of like how i was socially and how that it didn't feel new it felt like i was this was just like the state of life it felt unremarkable but like when i think back to it i'm like that's interesting that is yeah but i was relieved to like now like to like have like that was more of a relief i think than losing my virgin although that was a big relief as well i was in college well we're gonna go through all the reliefs yeah so um then i had this opportunity one time where like i was hanging out with two girls and they were just like do you want to feel our boobs at the first but this was before i even kissed a girl so actually this is before that okay d and so i actually felt breasts before ever kissing a girl and i was like my rep like around town was like i was really good at like tickling the breast and like making the nipple hard and i was like i felt I felt pride did you have any technique when you actually did it or really just instinctive touch just like I think I think I have a good touch like I have a good delicate touch like me as a lover is not like an aggressor I'm like really gentle and sweet and delicate um and I applied that even back then but like for example I felt both their breasts at the same time and they were like now let us feel your dick and like it was like a siren it was like you know as if like a bomb got dropped and all I heard was the white noise and I had to like make up and excuses to like why I wasn't ready.

25:00I didn't, my dick was so small and fucking scarred and I just couldn't even deal with it. So I made up and I was like, ah, no. And made up some excuse that I can't even recall. And then I'm telling my friend about this experience. I'm like, man, like I just felt their boobs at the same time. And like they wanted to feel my dick. And I was, and then my mom was on the other end of it. And she was like, hang up the phone right now. and then I had to go up there and be lectured by my loving, wonderful parents about how like the crowd I was moving with was too fast. And I was literally like, what does it even matter?

25:37Cause I'll never show anyone my dick anyways. Cause the whole, and I started crying like that's kind of like what was going on. I was like crying in front of my parents about my dick sucking. And what did your parents say? They were so sweet and they were like very empathetic. They didn't realize it was still bothering me. but very awkward conversations to be having like wanted no part of that totally i love how your mom is like this crowd is moving too fast you're like i've been the last to get kissed i don't drink yeah i literally give you my breath every fucking night exactly yeah i couldn't be moving slower literally would you have conversations with girls that you started it can't it's okay you're like a contortionist it's gonna get better you're gonna come back on for season four and we'll have it all figured out economically sound setup what's the youngest you got a girlfriend senior year of high school okay so when you had your girlfriend senior year of high school are you telling girls no no oh my god no so you're the perf you're really good at avoiding yeah and coming up with like can't right now because i gotta my mom's over there like how would you avoid it i mean i would control the lighting whenever like for years like really like up until like maybe 2018 like really like can't like daytime this is we don't do this stuff in the daylight you know and just i have like a funny like that i can like disarm with comedy i guess right but yeah no i was very avoidant and uh but i will say this in my experience like once i was like there was a point in time where i was just like fuck it let the light occur and i feel as though for the most part a lot of women might not exactly know exactly what a dick is supposed to look like and so when i realized that because it's not that crazy okay what's crazy about it i don't know when they appear but i had these little black dots on my dick okay like a freckle bigger i'd say like a poppy seed a poppy seed like three-dimensional and i was like mom i gotta have these black dots removed from my dick so i got them removed one of the black dots got like i guess i don't know this is and this is all like my theory right like i don't even that's why i'm asking for the medical records yeah all i know is i had black dots got them removed then after i got one of them removed all of a sudden where one of the black dots was pee now shoots out of that like spot so i when i pee i actually have a main hole that's mislocated to begin with this main hole as if I didn't have enough problems a new hole that's like so it's like a pinprick you wouldn't even be able to really see it you would if I like stretched my dick out and said look right in this spot so when I piss it's two holes and it's like like if I I have to when I pee it like a urinal like I take my finger my pointer finger and I clog it and I just piss on my finger every time I pee or if I'm by myself I'll pee sitting down to avoid that and just it'll trickle all over my balls I was gonna say you could sit down that's always I sit down every time I pee but in a public setting I mean right the men's room in the stall is like the most atrocious place on I get it okay first of all I just want to say I do because I know there's a lot of joking that goes around this I actually really do appreciate you being so open about it because one I know we said like deal with your insecurities head on however I think that something that is like your dick or like for women it's like your tits or like what does your labia look like it like it is a huge thing that can affect your self-worth and like how you feel about yourself and so I appreciate you being honest because I can imagine there's so many fucking people that are so insecure about a body part and I think especially for men it's like that is like what gives you your manhood yeah and so I can imagine like as much as you've now turned it into like you've joked about it and you've made it your own and it's like that shit is like kind of fucking scarring yeah no pun intended but like really I really think I don't think anything has informed like the DNA of my personality more than like I'm not like bringing it up because I think it's like this is so funny it's like it's not like a lowbrow thing i actually think it's like interesting that how this is totally like shaped like my personality i think anytime you have an insecurity and like we talked about like you avoid you like deflect like you become so good at avoiding just like accepting yourself which is really what it is yeah now that you've been so open about it in your career has it alleviated in terms of when you meet like do you have a girlfriend right now yes okay so let's we'll get there but like before even meeting your girlfriend or your girlfriend now because you're so public like my name's a little dicky I'm owning all this does it alleviate the pressure now of when you meet a potential romantic partner yeah that you kind of are like yeah it's my bit like my dick has got this shit like what's up yeah pretty much I would say I also was like man am I just like putting such a bullseye on like pay attention to this like you know if you weren't paying attention before now like maybe i'll really luckily i met my girlfriend like right when the show came out so i was even like i even there's one episode of season one of my show that's like deeply about this exact topic and i remember like the second date i had with her she was at my house and i showed her the episode that wasn't even out yet because i just wanted her to like know all the facts at hand and feel that relief what was her reaction cool great like she She's like, this woman's my soulmate.

31:21Yeah. So I think I got a lot more confident when I became a successful rapper. And like still like Lil Dicky was like my shtick. But like it wasn't like I wasn't announcing like the true details. I was like, I have a small dick. Like it was but it wasn't like I have a small several times operated on dick with mislocated holes and extra like it wasn't all the details. and I just think I had enough sexual encounters pre those details but post Lil Dicky that like went favorably like we're like I was creating an orgasm from the woman you know and like I just felt like a competent lover and so I think I just I was able to I think it's more about like uh how you work it and and uh just being like sweet and I don't know a gentle gentle genuine yeah to the tits yeah like I had a gentle touch I guess another last question to wrap that up is like how did you take me to the moment when you decided you were going to have your rap name be Lil Dicky uh like I don't know how I came up with the idea but like I had the idea and then I was like well I wanted to do like I felt like especially initially I was like my whole thing is going to be that is I'm the opposite of what you expect a rapper to be like so it's like what what what is a name that like totally encapsulates that vibe so like to me like rap is very hyper masculine very like i'm the man so i thought i'm very self-deprecating in all ways so i thought i want my rap name to be like totally self-deprecating thought of lil dicky um and then made a whole list of names for like months trying to beat lil dicky um and i never beat it and i was just like okay i think this like the bat the second best one to me was and it is a good one i sometimes I ask myself would I have been as successful with this rap name young man

33:17hearing that young man's dope young man's great yeah someone should be young man someone out there should be young man however yeah there's no personal yeah it doesn't have that zing it's like who the fuck is little dicky yeah I know so I view my rap name like honestly truthfully I hate my rap name but I also love it like I think why do you hate it because it's just like when like when i see people on the street they're like yo dicky i just like don't see myself as like dicky you know like i don't like like it doesn't i don't like i go like a little bit cringy when people are like yo dicky like i don't i know i never grew up people calling me dicky it had it been little dick would you like that like hey dick i think i might but little dick is too like i don't know like too overt like with little dicky i think it was perfect because you're thinking like is it is that what i like but now that you've been so open you could get rid of the why like you could leave this room today and say it's a little dick i love little dicky it's like okay it's it's the it's the it's my curse and my blessing and i i bear it and i bear it proudly yeah it's interesting to meet you in person am i not what you thought i would be no i think you're like way more like sensitive and normal and grounded and like you're really funny but I can tell that like now knowing more about you where you came from like you're of course you're funny but like you're really how do I say this you're like a really sweet guy that is like in a very flashy world yeah that can get a little bit misinterpreted sure especially because you're playing a version of yourself on a show but naturally i mean i felt it sometimes with my show where i'm like i don't talk every minute of the day so like in the past shows i like never shut the fuck up and i was talking about sex and dating and relationships but it's like i'm not doing that all the time yeah so i'm i'm relating to a little bit in the sense of like who you're portraying online and a character even you just being like a rapper let's just start there like yeah rappers have a certain persona you know what mean and you're not you know it's like i yeah the show really i think helped for anyone who was like i don't know about that little dicky guy seeing the show is like even if i'm not the same exact you're able it's way more than just like seeing a music video of a guy yes like rhyming yes and everything's rhyming good point good point talking in a rap voice and i think with the show i i do i want to come i don't like i don't want to be an unlikable character and i think i'm i'm not

36:07you said that the writer's room for your show dave is like a group therapy session except it's one where the sole focus is on you yeah which is kind of fucking interesting what is a hard truth that you've been hit with in the writer's room if ever because everyone's focusing on you like Dave what are we like yeah like what are your flaws yeah yeah yeah how do they manifest is there anything that you've in a writer's room been like fuck I need to like think about that more I'm pretty self-aware and I and I I I've never felt like and I guess the writers do a good I can tell that they all genuinely like me and like we I'm friends with a lot of them and I think you know I've told them I'll tell them stories of like my selfishness like but it's like they're I've always known I was selfish so it's like I just by default have like kind of always lived life and it's a privileged perspective to have but like trying to maximize my self-interest and like you know for example just like dating I never got girls growing up like oh now I'm a famous rapper and I have social leverage like I have my pick of the litter I think that's it's kind of an abuse of power and like especially the way gender dynamics are by default in current society it's like not an even playing field to begin with so then for me to be like this is my competitive advantage you're not thinking about the other person as a human being and like it's like right you know what you're like trying to be like oh i i deserve the best girl i'm waiting till i have like perfection in a woman and no one's ever going to be perfect and that's a flawed way to date that's really a privileged way to think about things in general because we're operating as men under the skewed power structure where and like my i went on so many dates like no one has dated more than me and i i feel like the main thing i would learn as i talked to the women that i was dating was how shitty guys are and i think that it's just a current climate where i think by default it's like the norm is where like the man has like you know think about like the way even proposing works a woman has to just wait until the man decides they're worthy enough to then And it's like all kind of so baked in.

38:13It's so true. Just having those with my girlfriend or having the conversations with the women in the writer's room and like not ever realizing that that like I never think to myself I'm not like a shitty guy with girls. Like I really don't feel that way. But I don't think I realize that just even by default by just allowing the status quo to be what it is. I am being kind of shitty in a way. And I think that's something where I was like, huh. It wasn't more like, oh, man, I feel so bad about myself. It's more, I'm so happy that I'm in a position where I get to have these conversations and learn and then make art that can portray that.

38:45And then so some other guy who's watching it could be like, do I behave that way? And like make them ask them those questions. Thoughts? Dave, I'm really impressed. You said it and you didn't need to say it because as I've been sitting here with you, and I guess it's because we both have, you know, therapist mothers. But like you are very self-aware. And I think it's really refreshing to hear a white hetero man with money and yes, power. Just be like, oh, yeah, like I think it's so obvious to me that this is the dynamic. And I think on top of it, having fame, it makes it even harder, I think, for women to look objectively at a situation if they're on a date with you and feel like, I have an equal say in this like yeah they're just happy to be there sometimes because the power dynamic is so off yeah that I think it's interesting to hear you talk about coming to the realization and then when so you met when did you meet your girlfriend 2020 so you were already famous yeah how did that go how did you meet one of the writers on my show uh Vanessa woman I love I kept saying you know you got to set me up like you know I was like really I'm a hopeless romantic for sure like I like I wasn't like going on all these dates to like fuck I was going to like meet my wife like and like I worked so hard that simply having a date set up in the week was like my like beacon of hope that like I would work to I was like I can't wait till Thursday when I meet Lauren uh we're just making a name up right maybe Lauren's my wife and then like I'd meet Lauren I'd be like I don't know and and then I would be like oh on to the next one which is like kind of like an unfair way to approach it i knew that i would always have in theory kind of i know that my personality i really am nice and for the most part i'm gonna like be able to get the second date yeah and i think i went into every date being like is this my wife am i blown away am i fully blown away to the point where like i can't even think about like uh no okay then it's not right for me and okay wait before we move forward from that that's so interesting so you went on on these dates and did you how like vulnerable do you get on these dates because I thought it was interesting that you said all these women the common theme was them talking about like how shitty guys are but I feel like it's because you're such a good guy that they immediately like why aren't guys like this treating women like this like were you being overly sweet to these people uh well I think I'm being kind of I think I just you're kind of by default I'm sweet um I I definitely like if I'm on a date i'm trying to be charming like i would be like you know super did you have any things you would do on dates that was like your go-to oh yeah tell us first off my go-to pickup line okay every time was excuse me what's your availability as far as being hit on right now like are you open-minded to that type of thing or not even remotely good yeah and it's just it's like what else i'm not gonna be like hey how's your night going i don't even know you right has anyone ever been like fuck off they've been like oh uh not i'm not open i have a boyfriend but like that was nice that was good yeah great feedback with that line that's fucking great thank you very why why it's all such bullshit just be like hey like are you down to get hit on by me in this moment or not like you know let's be transparent yeah i met my girlfriend at the right time for sure because it was covid and like like it allowed me to like slow down and like give love a shot and like my current girlfriend is my soulmate like I'm just obsessed with her when she met me she was fresh off of like a long breakup and so she wasn't like trying to get into a relationship either so I think for her it was like oh cool like like rapper like you know funny guy like this is an exciting thing for me to I never thought this was going to be the next guy I dated and I think I just she was like like it was good for her to have some something to like really look forward to like her whole life just changed due to her last breakup you know what I mean yeah And then I think we just like fell in love with each other.

42:49We're going to talk a little bit more about that. Yeah. I do have one more question about your penis. Yeah. Two questions. Because then I want to go more into the relationship side of things and sex. What is your relationship with your penis now at this very moment? I love it. I love it the way you love like a flawed Pixar character. it's like this charming like pixar character that's like a little bit misshapen i for example you know talk about my dick all the time and like the guys who who made the score for the first two seasons of the show are like my i love these men like they're like i they're like one of my best friends in la and like i love hanging out with them but they had never seen my dick and uh like they were obviously they were like what show us your dick yeah and i showed it to them and they were just like man you you couldn't like i was worried that it was going to be like overhyped but like i've never like thought something was like smaller and bigger at the same it's like so small yet it's so big it's so like like fucked up but like so beautiful they were like it's this perfect like contradicting thing that like like they really were blown away and like you know every now and then when we're like struggling to like come up with score like and i can tell they need motivation i'll like show them my dick and they'll be like all right i'm ready to i'm ready to lock in picturing you standing there in that room just pulling your pants down and then like okay there are scenes that we've like scored for the show we're like literally like two men are like playing the keyboard and i'm just like butt naked sitting there because it just gives them such motivation it's just yeah it's just funny it's a funny thing like there's certain like i don't know if you've seen uh season two like where like me and benny like do that like there's have you seen that episode i haven't seen that okay yeah good you'd have a lot of questions i think uh but there's like a certain like jewish like there are times where like i've jerked off and like other guys were in the room as a kid and like we're all just jerking off at the same time in the same room is that a jewish thing i don't know if it's a jewish thing but it might be like a suburban Pennsylvania thing.

45:03Yeah. I'm going to ask my friends if they ever jerked off in the same room in a Pennsylvania basement. I'd love to know the stats. Yeah. I'll let you know. If you could tell your 10 year old penis something, what would you say to him? Girls don't know what it's supposed to look like. It's all going to be okay. It functions. It works. It's like it will develop like really like it's like a nice weight there was one time i remember uh where like i expressed insecurity about like the length of my dick and like a woman said like it's so uh there's such girth and that there's you can't uh there's nothing better than a well-weighted dick she said and that that stuck with me so i would say hey man you got a weird dick but it's gonna work it's going to work out well and you're going to be able to create the female orgasm and that's that's all that matters i will say a smaller penis is better for yeah i personally think a smaller penis is better for allowing a girl to have an orgasm cool because you can just hit a little bit more near that area where a large penis i'm like you're more near my belly button yeah that's not where like the g-spot area is let's like back it out so i put half of it in there yeah but for you yeah you can enjoy yourself going all in i get all in and then i'm i'm in and that now i'm wiggling you know i'm in and i'm i'm slow grinding right you know it's not it's not i'm not doing that no we're in we're marinating oh my god your girlfriend's like why were you doing on that show speaking of your girlfriend Do you guys live together?

46:43Yeah. We just got a puppy. What kind? A cockapoo. Reggie. Reggie. Oh, he's the cutest. You should have called him young man. Maybe I will. There's still time. Okay. That could be his nickname. What is something that you learned about the opposite sex by living with your girlfriend? I feel like there's no friction whatsoever as far as us living together. That's great. We're very similar. I've actually never met anybody from a personality perspective more similar to me than my girlfriend. so it's like it's bizarre and I didn't know who I was going to end up with like as far as I kind of always thought like whoever I'm going to end up with is going to be the opposite of me to like that but it's actually it's actually great to be like so on the same page about everything in life I agree so it's do you want to get married yeah have you talked about it yeah talk about all the time that's great it's gonna go down yeah have you thought about how you're going to propose a little bit but not not it's I'm so basically it'd be like the way I am with my show right now like I can't even believe I'm here like I it I can't believe how hard it is to finish this show like the post schedule like this show is getting worked on in real time all the way so it's like I'm like if I like hit my head on the way out of here and went to the hospital for two weeks I think we'd like miss air dates you know what I mean like we're so it's like every day is like game seven right now so for me I don't I don't want to like even think about like that type of thing until like i'm actually like i want to be able to focus on her it's like it's kind of like it's it's hard to date me in the sense that i'm always distracted with the task at hand are you neglecting your girlfriend i don't think so i mean i mean maybe in a sense in a sense i i but not in a way that's surprising or right and it's like because i think working from home is so nice because like now that she's not going to not it's like it's we're both always there we're in her we're overlapping i think what's most important is that i i when i'm with her and i'm not it's like don't neglect there like you know be present in that moment and i'm sure i think to be with someone obviously like you like i'm sure she you guys have a good balance of like she knows what you're you're doing and you're grinding it out right now and you're at such a great point in your career that like there's moments in relationships where you have to be there for your partner while they're going through it and then all of a sudden the show could be done one day and then it's like you got to be there for her with whatever she's going through she couldn't be more supportive and like it's so it's so nice to have that and so good i couldn't appreciate her more or love her more what is your taste in porn uh super hd like you know if there's anything non-hd i'm not interested i like like i can just i mean i don't know if like i like things that feel like real like have you ever heard of like x art x dash art no go google or you pornhub search x-art and you'll see it's like very like slice of life handheld well lit well shot it feels so real it's so it's not like it's like on a tripod it's yeah it's not a tripod i don't like when the dick is too big scary yeah i like can't relate you know i love watching head more than actually getting head that's so interesting yeah well because maybe you like jerking yourself off more than you like getting head so you can jerk off while you're watching someone get head but you're like but I don't have to get head I can just jerk myself off what is the best skill you have to offer in the bedroom I'd say I truly my my touch like my sense of touch like when I'm like when the hand is like drifting up the thigh you know like that's my that you've got the hand I got the hand I got the touch like a great tickle a tickle so are you good at like fingering yeah have you been given that note i think so yeah okay i feel like better about like the way i i get my hands on someone than i do like necessarily like going down on them okay not that i think i'm like i just don't i think like i look at myself as like an artist with the touch going down i don't know i'm kind of like it's like a free-for-all and i'm not even sure what's going on i love the self-awareness because some men need to recognize that like if you don't know you're great at it to every man listening don't eat a girl out if you really don't think like you know what you're doing because it's actually so sad for us because we're like how do I tell him just to come up and fuck me like let's just stop just just stop fingering is 10 times better um because sometimes the guy doesn't know how to use the tongue so it's like let's just cut to the chase you're not even rubbing my clit yeah like you're on like a random patch of skin that's not even my labia like we're not in the region for you to stay down there for more than like 30 seconds just get up here yeah so you're good with the touch yeah okay touch guy have you ever made a sex tape no if you ever did what would the tone of the sex tape be and how would you produce it i do think that i could have been like a porn star because of that like pixar like quality that like i think would be like heroic for like the people to like see such a flawed dick and porn um but i don't know like i don't know this is like this is tough like i do like i don't send dick pics like you've never sent a dick pic in your life never i think that's smart like no one needs a dick pic anyways no my dick is too uh no i don't care how good a dick is or a bad it doesn't matter no one needs a dick pic really yeah i think like uh pam and tommy style like vintage camera like feeling like fly on the wall and like there's like a special moment between the two people if i had to make one what is something unusual that turns you on one of my favorite phases of sexuality is the moment where the my dick is being touched over my underwear i'll be hooking up and i'm not just i'm not speaking about my sexuality with my girlfriend is still understanding my past experiences and uh like a girl will be trying to take the underwear off and i'll keep it on i'll i'll wait because it's my favorite phase is like the over underwear touching of the boner it's like my favorite part of the whole thing but do girls ever be like oh does he not want me to go down i uh i probably just because i yes because I so clearly love the hand.

53:04They're like, oh, sorry. And they're like, little dicky. Oh, maybe that's almost, it's like a little lingering from your past of like you used to actually be like, no, don't go down there. And you hiked him up. It could be. It could be like, think about it, my underwear on. Like that's the thing. And now it gets you off that you actually will eventually, you know, you'll let them take it off. But like, let's linger in the, like don't take them off in the foreplay. Yeah, I'm a big, I like foreplay. What do you want people to know about you As we wrap up this episode, like what is something you feel like is a little like misconception?

53:35Like you wish people got more about you. I don't know. I think I'm an open book, but I feel as though if I had to answer that question, I would say for the people out there who might see a little Dickie rap video and think, you know, that's like a satirical based joke about like that requires like a tongue in cheek, assholey adjacent perspective to know that there's probably thought behind it. And I really value the joke. I love making jokes and I honor the joke and as a human being I feel like I am a good man a young man young man, little Vicky thank you so much for coming on, this was so fun I really had no idea what to expect and I had a great time talking to you today did you have a good time?

54:20nothing too offensive no, I thought time flew

54:30Thank you.