Madeline Argy Debrief: Toxic Relationships

0:00Sunday morning, Father's calling. do do do do do do do do every sunday's far this day that was pretty good right hello daddy gang welcome back for another sunday session so far season four has kicked off with two amazing episodes that i'm so proud of and i'm so happy that you guys are enjoying them i am so happy to see that you are all loving recently the madeline RG episode. It has been so fun and exciting to create something that continues to push the boundaries of what a podcast can be. You know, this started as audio. Now it's like every day I wake up and I'm like, how can we innovate and adjust and change and keep things exciting?

0:48When I was preparing for this episode, I kept thinking to myself, how can I set Madeline up to just be a hundred percent herself and do what she does best essentially how do I make sure she's telling the daddy gang her most unhinged chaotic stories that have happened in her personal life and that she can tell in her personal style because let me tell you if you thought Madeline was hilarious and entertaining in this week's episode this bitch is even funnier the moment the cameras stop rolling or she puts down the mic like it literally kills me every time we stop recording she would say something and I'm like pick the fucking mic back up say it again when we were filming in New York I was joking just being like we need to put a mic on her 24 7 to just capture all of the ridiculous things that she's saying and that is low-key what I did.

1:49But because Madeline is so good at her solo story times, I wanted to let her have some of those moments on Call Her Daddy so that you guys could really get to know her. That is why we did some different creative decisions this episode, like me walking out of frame to just go get a hot dog or having me not even ask questions and just letting her go off and tell her stories. And as always, I will say, Daddy Gang, it means so much to me and speaks to the community that we have built together. When someone feels comfortable enough to come on this show and speak about things for the first time ever, Madeline hadn't spoken about her recent and extremely raw breakup to anyone.

2:36As you heard, not even her therapist knows about it. she's a super private person to the point where for an entire year the world didn't even know they were dating but she ultimately felt comfortable enough to open up about it on this show and that makes me really happy this episode felt a little different stylistically and it was so fun to think outside of the box with Madeline it was also just fun to like spend 48 hours in New York City with her and really get to know her on a deeper level but are you ready for this. This actually wasn't the first time that we had podcasted together. Back in June, I believe it was June 9th to be exact, before Madeline was even signed to the Unwell Network, she flew from London to LA to come sit down and record with me in the Call Her Daddy studio.

3:28And then things with the Unwell Network began to take off and we began the conversations to sign Madeline and we were waiting for the episode to air around the announcement of her signing with us or her announcing her show but then I was like why don't we do something bigger outside of the studio like isn't that what season four is all about of course don't get me wrong we're gonna be in studio a lot still but like I just feel like because while I absolutely fell in love with Madeline the first time I met her it was also our first time meeting okay then we got super comfortable with each other and I knew that we would have even more to talk about and even more to discuss but this first interview which you are about to watch some of it today it cannot go to waste and I am so happy to gift you today with a little bit more Madeline Archie.

4:25So let's get into it. I know who we are I know who we are I know who we are I know who we are

4:49When Madeline and I first recorded in June, her career was already taking off And it's so wild to see how much more it's taken off in only a few months. But let's go back and listen to Madeline's expectations for herself when she was first really starting to just create content. You really have popped off so much. And it's so cool to see how crazy your engagement is. And so many people are obsessed with you and watching you and consuming your content. Did you expect this? like when you started posting on TikTok like what were your expectations I didn't have any I it was never an intentional thing for me I the first post I ever did was like I think I'd gone insane because I had been it was lockdown or like the end of lockdown and I'd been for the whole time by myself because I was at uni and I was living in like a damp house with like six strangers it wasn't the best and so I just never spoke to anyone like I didn't I had no need to ever leave the house like there was nothing to go outside for at all so I was like I genuinely think I went insane and I just posted like a story time of something that I had done like five years prior that I'd randomly remembered and like people just kind of like saw it and I was like that's weird because no one follows me like how does this app work like why did people see this right and then um and then I didn't do it again for ages until like randomly I did and then it the same thing happened and I was just like wait this is kind of cool like the hell and then like people would dm me on instagram and like it was those were the days when like I would respond to everyone because I was like who are you like why are you messaging me and then I'd make a friend and then it was like this whole exciting thing that I just spiraled okay that's actually very interesting to know so like this wasn't like from the start your parents you growing up being like I was always like singing and dancing and acting I've never sung in my life I can't dance I don't act I think it's so interesting to learn that this was never the plan for Madeline because obviously we watch her and she's so fucking talented and one of truly the funniest people I have met in a long time.

7:00And there's just truly nothing better than her story times. It's like I've said this before and I will say it every time. She has lived a million lives already because her stories and the chaos, they're just endless. see she also has stories that make me stop and wonder like how the fuck did this even happen Madeline came to realize one of her exes was cheating on her while they were obviously still together because her girlfriend at the time literally showed Madeline photos of her cheating on her Madeline will tell you the full story this was my first relationship so I was blind like I I would say probably that's the only time I've like been in love to a point that is like infatuation like you could kill my mom and I will be like at your feet sort of thing and she was completely in love with her ex like completely in love with her ex and she would hang out with her ex sometimes and I was kind of like are you sure you hang out with this girl and like don't get with her seems fishy but fine like you're having sleepovers with your ex wait madeline what but like it was you were blind to it you were like okay so blind so her ex i think i actually messed this detail up in the story her ex was the one that used to dye her hair crazy colors okay so you knew what era of her life you were looking at based on like the purple hair the red hair the blue hair like her hair was like her personality okay so you knew what you were looking at when you were looking at right so like if you're going to her facebook it's like in 2003 she had blue hair yeah in 2004 it was red so like you knew where she was in each moment of her life exactly okay so it's this picture of them kissing and she just shows me like isn't this cute and i was like like i know that she has purple hair right now because i've seen her like she was way older like i was that her ex was like like seven or eight years older than me i think so i like idolized her because she was like the gay girl in our area like the out and proud gay girl and so like i knew what she was fucking doing with her hair like i kept tabs on it so when she showed me i was like interesting but you wouldn't lie to me why would you lie to me no so i was just like cute like then i just must have missed an era of her hair being bright blue right so you did you confront her no but it's one of those situations where you now look back and you're like it's so obvious now yeah that i was like like how did you pull that over on me that's like shame on me a little bit you know right like she shows you a picture of her literally kissing her ex with purple hair and then you run into her ex at starbucks the next day and she has full purple hair and you're like that was years ago though yeah and it's like but that's also so weird and so manipulative and like slightly like mentally abusive to be like look at this photo right like why did you show me and even if she was your ex and it was an old picture what why would i want to see anyway which is also so weird because then i feel like sometimes when people get that good at manipulating like it's so insane to be like look at this photo of us that then you're made to be like this is so crazy she's showing it to me exactly like who does that that couldn't be how were you after that relationship um i honestly like it was bad for a while like i swore off dating for a while because i was like i don't think i can really trust myself with like picking partners um and then i went and picked another shit partner after that like a genius but not as bad no one could ever be as bad like she was the worst it could have possibly been i wonder if that's like relatable though because i'm sitting here relating to you of like my first like actual boyfriend i was so blind in love with him and there were so many issues that it's like i was just so obsessed and like so in love because i never felt that type of like infatuation obsession that your first love at times and i don't even know if it should be considered your first love it's like the first moment that you become infatuated and start dating someone and you think it's love and it's like if they're toxic you become like so even more emotionally invested because you don't have any reference to what an actual good relationship is yet so then you're like i'm so obsessed with this person i don't really know why i feel like shit all the time but like and then once you get out you kind of start to recognize it once you go through more relationships and you're like yeah that was so bad yeah that was like an extreme yeah I think a lot of people experience that though like the first time you're infatuated people can just do anything to you because your worldview is so limited you just don't know even like right from wrong yeah do you guys see what I'm saying now like Madeline what the fuck is that story and like she's so casual she's like yeah and then she just showed me the photo and like but this topic is actually something that I have been thinking a lot about lately well I guess not my partner like showing me a picture of them blatantly cheating on me that's not usually on my mind I've actually never thought about that until Madeline brought that up but I have been reflecting on some of my toxic exes recently maybe because it's part of my job or maybe the fact that I'm so fucking deep in therapy or probably maybe also the fact that I'm about to get married soon so I'm like really reflecting and thinking and doing a lot of soul searching I don't know you can take your fucking pick but I've been reflecting on some of my early relationships and it is quite shocking remembering how toxic some of them were like don't get me wrong and I've said this before and I will say it till the end I do not regret any of the toxic I went through to get to where I am today because every failed relationship or mistake or absolute fuck up taught me something about what I don't want in a partner or something that I will absolutely never put up with again but as you probably heard in this Wednesday's episode with Madeline when we were discussing her recent breakup there comes a time in life and it's really weird because you like don't know what's happening it just fucking hits you where like you outgrow the toxic like toxic isn't cute anymore or also if you don't outgrow it you fucking should outgrow it like there's a time where it is no longer exciting or funny or even fun it actually actually I just said actually twice it actually weirdly kind of gets like scary like it's not like oh it's toxic it's actually is this about to be my life forever because if I keep fucking doing this this is where my path is going Like if I keep with the toxic, we're going to forever be with the toxic.

13:57And I think Madeline said it perfectly in the episode. She was like, if you stay in the trenches of toxic for too long, it just becomes the norm. It becomes an addiction and you don't know anything but the chaos, the anxiety, the uncertainty and daddy gang. I really need to emphasize, like make eye contact with me right now. okay you should not constantly feel anxious in a relationship you shouldn't go to sleep every night with a pit in your stomach there shouldn't be screaming fights that are just a regular occurrence like you should not feel constantly like shit or you're trying to improve or you're trying to make yourself be better and be different and be whatever that's not the case of course relationships are work obviously but they shouldn't be that hard you know what i mean like you should know where you stand with your partner and there are things that you should never have to tolerate.

14:53And while we're here, the overall concept of what it means to settle in a relationship, which can look a lot different in everyone's lives, but like, it's something that I've been wanting to talk about. I was having a really good conversation with my friends the other night at dinner about like what is settling and how do you avoid settling and like have any of us settled in certain areas so I would be interested please write in and let me know your thoughts about that topic if you need any advice on it or if you would be interested in me kind of talking about it in a more long in-depth episode um I got you okay well I just like need to do a quick PSA moment I'm like daddy gang you fucking deserve better you better not fucking settle I love you fuck the toxic unless like you're in like high school and like college a little out of college like we love the toxic but then like get rid of the toxic do you know what I mean it's it's a good balance anyways now back to our regular scheduled programming I need to stop um back to Madeline

16:11this next story time is about an ex-friend of hers and it as much as it makes me laugh it also makes me like a little fucking angry at the same time i'm like what the fuck was wrong with this girl you guys need to hear this story from madeline herself here we go so i have a bit of ocd and a huge fear of germs like terrified i just put my fucking nail in my mouth i'll be thinking about that for like three days i never do that but i just didn't want that like white shit you get with your lip gloss anyway i never touch like i'll hold food and then i'll eat around the bit that i'm holding with my hands so the germs don't go in my mouth okay and people always pick up on that i'm doing that and so obviously she knew that like i don't like germs don't put my hands in my mouth don't use like public toilets freaked out don't like it so she would just like i would yawn and she would just like shove her fucking hand in my mouth what i think i would punch them in the face no i should have like so many times i should have just smacked her up and she yeah she would just shove her fingers in my mouth put her hands in my mouth and then she would like say like i hope you get like norovirus which is like stomach bug she would like name diseases and be like hope you get that that's what's what's so annoying about people it's like if you have if she knows you have ocd and especially in that area of like germs what is wrong with people that they're like i want to fuck with you it's like no this is actually something that like i will not be able to sleep tonight and i'm gonna be so emotionally distressed literally and she's like don't care bitch yeah really weird while she tells this story in a funny comedic way i also just think it's like so fucked up when other people just like completely disrespect someone else's mental health and boundaries like yes Madeline makes jokes about her anxiety and OCD and I think a lot of people watching this you probably can relate like the things that pain you the most in life you find humor of like make a joke about my OCD or like anxiety to like make me feel more in on it with myself whatever it is how you cope like these are really severe and real things that people have to deal with and I think that's exactly why her content resonates and connects with so many people because Madeline is so open and unapologetic about just like what she's going through and mistakes she's made along the way um as you know these are some of my favorite types of conversations to have here on Call Her Daddy I'm like we fucking love therapy Like we love going deep, like figuratively and literally had to put it in there.

18:57Okay. So let, I do want to talk a little bit more about anxiety and mental health with Madeline because we did have a really, really great conversation about it. Let's finish with a little mental health conversation. Okay. Has your anxiety hindered any of your relationships? Yes. In what ways? um I think when I wasn't good at talking about why I was anxious or how I behaved when I was anxious that's when it hindered my relationships because I get ratty when I'm anxious I like I don't want you to touch me I don't want you to talk to me like if it's really bad I'm not someone that finds other people helpful in that situation at all like I need my headphones in I need to go outside get cold air take my jacket off like get a drink like I need to be the fuck alone but when I was like embarrassed about it and I wouldn't tell people they would think I was pushing them away or being a bitch or had like some kind of temperament issue and so that definitely like drove a wedge between me and a lot of people um I wouldn't say it causes issues now I think now that I have the like language to explain to people like why I feel this way and also the fact that I'm working on it a lot more than I used to I think makes it a lot easier like if I'm in a bad spot where anxiety is hindering that person as well like I'm anxious a lot like we're going out but I'm anxious and it's like a thing if I'm not working on that behind the scenes like it can be a bit frustrating because it can slow us down or whatever but I think when my partners know partners plural when my bitches know that I'm like working on it it's you know like with anything it's easier to yeah it's um less frustrating because i i understand that it can be frustrating for people and i think my ocd is really frustrates people because i can't eat in restaurants i've eaten in restaurants this whole la trip and i do occasionally do it in london too like restaurants that i trust and have gone to a lot but like i really struggle to eat food that other people prepare and like like i won't often use hotels and towels or like i'm a bit funny about pillows like a like it i think it grinds people's gears a bit and it yeah but then i get what you're saying but everyone has their things and then but now you've been able to lightly get to a place where you're like i can at least articulate it to them instead of like going through it fully alone even if you don't want them to be there while you're dealing with it you can now articulate like hey this is what i'm dealing with so that instead of just like disappearing and dipping out they understand like this is how she deals with xyz yeah which i think is very helpful in therapy like actually learning how to have those emotional conversations that you're like you said at the beginning you're like i cringed having conversations with my parents that are emotional or anyone yeah i i think even if you can lightly let anyone in it always then actually probably will help you even more so that while you're dealing with whatever you're dealing with you're also not like fuck this person's mad at me now yeah exactly kind of alleviates a little very helpful yeah what is the best piece of advice you would give anybody struggling with anxiety or ocd right now i mean other than the obvious like seek help get therapy i think um i don't know i feel like if if it's like a new thing the biggest thing for me is knowing that it it's never gonna stay the same for like an extended period of time like it's gonna change even just like when i have panic attacks like from month to month the symptoms are different like if you're having an awful symptom where like you shake uncontrollably like that might not last forever sort of thing and like i think what's really helped me is understanding the science behind all of it like my best friend recently started getting panic attacks and i had the ability to like explain to her like you throw up when you panic i mean i don't but she does like you keep throwing up when you have a panic attack because your digestive system literally shuts itself off to like send blood everywhere else and so like once she understood that she could like counteract it a little bit so i feel like understanding the science and like what physically what your body is doing because your body literally thinks if you're anxious it doesn't understand that like you're nervous to go and fucking call her daddy like it thinks you're being chased by something dangerous so like you have to treat it like a vessel because i feel like we forget we're humans like blood and whatever the fuck else is in here like you literally forget to treat it like an animal yeah like we need to take care of ourselves yeah we can't just be like ignore it or it's gonna shut down yeah or like it's a mental thing like your brain is not that developed like it's still like neanderthal brain vibe so you need to like treat it accordingly it's right stupid no i get what you're saying i think that's great advice of like actually understanding instead of just going through it if you can understand a little bit better what you're going through then you can be able to combat it in certain ways or at least get a little bit of reprieve knowing why it's happening and not feeling so alone in that moment and scared of the unknown like you know how this goes you know what's happening and like you can now have certain things that you know of like will make you feel better in that moment yeah mental health man daddy gang I hope you are just as in love with Madeline RG as I am I could go on forever but Madeline, if you're watching this, I love you.

24:20She's so fucking talented. And she's just such a unique voice that I just I love you over here at Call Her Daddy. Season four is just getting started. I have so many exciting things planned for you guys. This week, we have an in studio interview. I just want to say like, as always, I love you and I appreciate you so much. And I truly value the community that we have created together. I think it's so important to emphasize that like when these people are coming on the show and opening up about their biggest insecurities or their traumas or like even here for a laugh and they're trying to be funny and like have a good time like whatever it is that someone's coming and sitting down with it's it's nerve wracking and it's scary because you're opening yourself up to like especially the daddy gang it's like they want you guys to like them and so I just hope that you guys keep that in mind like when you are flocking to the comments like these people are reading this like being like do they like me and so whether you know the person before they come on or whether you don't know the person I think that's more exciting when I'm like oh I don't know this person I think it's important to like have an open mind thank you for always supporting them and then if you're one of the people in the comments that's an asshole go fuck yourself um but you know I know you're not daddy gang but I want to see the real OG daddies like in those comments hyping these people up because if you come on one day would you want those comments about yourself can you imagine you come on call her daddy you're like you're telling your family and your friends and you're so excited you go to the comments and everyone's like who the fuck is this slut who the fuck is this trash i don't want to watch this they're like can't relate don't care don't next daddy gang no you guys are great it's just the trolls but thank you guys for being keeping it positive and And I'm excited for you guys to watch this week's episode because it's a really intense, heartfelt one that I felt like, damn, it puts life in perspective.

26:14And I just appreciate you guys so much for always making the guests feel welcome, whether you know them or whether you don't know them. Like, there's something we can all learn from each other. And it's always a great fucking time on Wednesdays. Okay, so daddy gang, thank you for sitting on Papa's lap this Sunday. Okay, fall is coming. Oh, I was like drinking like a pumpkin latte something the other day and I was just like, shoot this up my asshole. I love fall. I want 10 infinity scarves chunked across my neck. I want to be in multiple layers. I want to put my puffer on and a beanie and I just want hot cocoa and the fire.

26:54And we're going to start doing that. Oh, maybe I'll do it like next to the fire. Well, when the weather starts to get a little colder in LA, which is never, I will start to dress like we're ready for winter so we can really enjoy winter together. What the fuck am I even saying? I just love fall and winter. Okay. Anyways, daddy gang, I love you. Sunday sessions are where it's at. And naturally I will see you fuckers next Wednesday. Goodbye. Thank you.