Miley Cyrus (FBF)

0:28Do you call him daddy? Miley fucking Cyrus. Thank you for having me. Thank you for coming to my house. Thank you for sitting under the disco tree. I'm just feeling kind of like vibes right now. Oh, it's viby. Well, to our right, Miley and I have penises. Two penises. Two penises. So before you got here, I ran into my living room. One, I think everyone in my house got a little scared when I was like, oh, I have dildos. I should put them on the table. They're like inappropriate. Don't do that. But they're not quite dildos. They've never been used. No, no, no. Listen. Not by me anyway. This is the Call Her Daddy podcast.

0:58it would be okay if people were like having sex behind us like we live for anything sexual this is like so this is good the safer platform for me that's why i'm not doing much press besides this okay perfect this is the only place that is probably appropriate right right right because i'll take it too far and then you can like bring it down which is like maybe a little different for you than that's different okay we love this so the fucking song let me tell you a little story okay okay so i'm sitting in my hotel room and um kelly the woman that's here with me in la is like I'm gonna play you Miley's song we're gonna get you to play Miley's song and I'm like I have never in my life if you've told me that I was going to be listening to your song early release I'm like what what is my life I'm a fucking loser from Pennsylvania like what's happening I listen to the song I have an orgasm no I'm just kidding oh I am like wet listening to your song yeah Miley Miley Midnight Sky yes tell us about it it's iconic I'm sorry but like I'm getting excited for you.

1:51Midnight Sky, I'm like very, very into, I mean, kind of throughout my career, I've felt like I've been able to introduce my fans to music they may not know, like whether it's sitting in this backyard and covering Jolene for backyard sessions or playing like, I have this really funny video that I love of playing Smells Like Teen Spirit when I was on the Hannah Montana tour and like all the kids were really upset about it and weren't digging it at all. They're like, Miley, what are you saying? Yeah, four random moms were kind of singing along. Also, I was yelling my libido while all these children it was like a whole thing um and so I felt like I always do these covers but I wanted one of my own I wanted a song that felt classic I wanted a song that felt like it was from the era of which I usually pull my inspiration from but like really not being afraid really being unapologetic about the tone the sonics the lyrics and as you and I were watching the video and we started talking about I think it's really special how having this kind of like anthemic you know pansexual bisexual anthem of this song that like plays with gender roles and it's like unapologetically saying in the chorus like my lips on her mouth and then he's got his hands on my waist and like there's just not song for for people that can identify with like these lyrics.

3:12And so I just thought that it was a really empowering thing for me and then for my listeners because I just felt like it was a song that felt really honest. And then when you and I were watching the video and talking about like how the video kind of just like captured my spirit and I felt like that hasn't really happened before. I felt the same way about the video. I felt like that was like me in my most authentic form. and so it just feels very um like celebratory right now I just feel that's what we were talking about like how I feel like I'm really just thriving that's that's she's thriving she's thriving I when I heard you like the lyric about like you kissing her on her mouth I was like fuck yes fuck yes queen because so many people that listen to my podcast are fucking terrified about embracing who they are because you're fortunate that like I I want to talk to you a little bit about you like realizing your sexuality and I know that you're very open about like you love everything and you're not putting yourself in a box but some people don't live in LA or have parents that would be supportive and they're fucking terrified and I feel like this song is just changing the game because it's like you're talking about a woman you're talking about a man and it's normal and it's coming from Miley Cyrus so you can fucking listen to it and you can kiss a woman and you can kiss a man and it's fucking fun and I like the idea that you kind of say it's normal because I really think that normalization is like the first step to just feeling like fully um that acceptance and I think like not just for it to feel normal from the outside but feeling like comfortable to you and normal to you and um so yeah it was just like definitely writing it in the studio even with you know some of my like peers trying to kind of explain that to them why it was important because they were like isn't it kind of confusing you know like the pop structure is that the chorus says the same thing every time.

5:00So it gets burned into your brain. So when you're at a concert and people get wasted, they're never like, wait, what did she say there? You really want it. There's like a formula. I think everyone, whether you make pop music or not, know that there's like a pop formula. And this really goes against that by having this like gender swap in lyrics because, you know, in a way it's challenging the system and challenging structure, which is what I always do. I when I heard I was born to run I don't belong to anyone I was like good night goodbye hello welcome to color daddy that's literally like the everything I try to tell anyone that listens this podcast I'm like you belong to yourself and you can do whatever the fuck you want and you don't have to apologize for anything and that lyric I'm like oh my god Miley like you fucking hit it and I was kind of thinking about that today like even getting ready because like before you got here I had on my hoodie and like I had on my sweatshirt.

5:54I had on my fucking leggings. And now she has her tits out. Exactly. That was my next step. What made you change? Okay. So you were coming here and I was sitting like in my kitchen doing all my, I was kind of thinking about like what I would want to say. Cause like I usually don't have this freedom just to like really talk. That's one thing that I'm learning that I do dig about podcasts. It's like you can really actually get into it. And sometimes I do feel like on shows you got such a quick amount of time and you're so censored that I don't always get out my full thought. So to my full thought is I was sitting in my leggings, my sweatshirt and really working.

6:32And then knowing you were coming here, I went and got ready and I did my makeup in 15 minutes. Got everything done in 15 minutes. and I realized like something that I thought would be important to say was that I wasn't getting dressed for you and I wasn't getting dressed for like someone to think that I look sexy I was getting dressed for me and I think that's something that's different um now that I'm a little bit older that changed like I think maybe that happened like through my last breakup I feel like maybe since I was like 26 only in the last year have I felt like I always am doing what I want for me because I don't think that there's been a period which like I know isn't the most relatable thing to say but there hasn't really been a period for me where I felt like super insecure with my sexuality like I've just been that way like I used to strip naked completely naked into Cracker Barrel when I was age of three and like roll around on the ground so that's just like that's just like who I am we love that and America loved it when you did it more on like TV oh yeah they loved that they love that um so I was thinking about like I guess in the last year has been really transformative.

7:37And we were talking about on the couch before we started just about like how I felt like this self-realization period that's going on kind of universally and culturally. I kind of started having that like over the past two years through a little bit of trauma, like physical, like my house burning down was like basically one of the most transformative periods of my life. I can't even imagine. And going through a massive breakup. And I just feel like one thing that I gained through all the loss is an idea that what I do is for me. And that doesn't mean that you're selfish. And that comes from like a lot of the guilt that you and I were talking about before we started this podcast also about like how much guilt that I feel like I've always had about feeling like I know how fortunate I am.

8:26And I don't really feel comfortable with that. I don't feel comfortable with my privilege. and I think the only way through it has been through a little bit of trauma and I just want to say first of all that's like the most beautiful thing because like honestly coming to your house I had no fucking clue what to expect I'm like I'm about to meet Miley Cyrus like of course I watched Hannah Montana are you fucking kidding me I made embarrassing music videos pretending to be you when I was younger and then now as the call her daddy host I'm so excited to meet the woman that is so sexually liberated and it's like an icon for our generation and I had no idea like and I was fully prepared to walk in and be like hi like okay sit down like let's have a conversation you are like so normal and and yet you're so not normal but you're normal and I think that you saying like you've been through trauma and you're finally for the first time in your life like really like I'm gonna do everything for myself that is so fucking beautiful because that kind of shows me no matter how famous you are or whoever is listening in like Nebraska everyone has to have that one period in their life where they're like fuck am I doing this for a guy a girl am I doing this for someone else other than me and then you got to find a fucking way whether it's through trauma yet fucking sucks then but don't you kind of feel like oh my god fuck it was meant to be because look where I am I'm so thankful that all that happened yeah now I think I don't know why that popped into my brain when I was like getting ready but like I was putting on my little kitten heel yeah you look amazing I was putting on my shit and I'm like it's honestly for me yeah And like, I have a lot of guilt just in my, I just have, since I was little, like, I don't know, things have been very easy for me.

10:01Like I've always been, if I've tried something once, I could do it. Right. And I know that's not the same for everybody. And I don't know why it's that way for me. And so I had a lot of, I had a really hard time accepting that. And I don't like for things to be easy. I like to work hard. Right. So I'm one of those people that if I couldn't do it first time, I'd do it a hundred times until I could. But I've never really had to. Had to do that. The only time that I have really had that experience of just trying to do something that wasn't meant for me or not going to work is in relationships. And I think I had a big fear of being alone because I'm always surrounded by people.

10:41So like my idea of what's it like to be surrounded by people, it's not surrounded by friends, like 15 people. It's like 15 ,000 people. right and so the idea of how drastic it goes from being full to being empty is just like really dramatic and so there was just like a lot of fear a lot of guilt but yeah i love therapy yeah but that and we love we were literally talking before the podcast we're like so i was like are you in therapy i'm like who asks you that but i'm like i love therapy do you like therapy it's the fucking i fucking love it it's the best um you i think that's really beautiful though that you have enough like self-reflection to be like what am I not having success in and it is relationships and I can't help but be like Miley like you literally have been so famous since you were how young and then like to find it's almost like you're now getting to be like okay what do I want to do with my life because you went for so fucking long performing in front of so many people pleasing so many people and now it's like wait what do you what makes you happy that's actually a really interesting perspective because I never really thought about it that way and I guess that is kind of maybe I'm at the age where that would be like getting out of college starting your first I mean most people will be starting their lives now and I feel like I'm kind of in that like mid life success place and like or even like beyond the finish line and there's actually something kind of about I've read about a lot of athletes that have it's called uh winner's blues oh and It's when you felt too much of like the dopamine and success and the rush that that crashed is just so harsh.

12:17Trust me, me and athletes on this podcast, we talk about all the time. It's kind of a joke, but like I like to hook up with athletes. And I always say their life is so hard because it kind of ends at like 30, 40, their career. And then it's like, what do you do? And it can happen the same thing, especially for like females in pop music. There's so much like ageism and sexism that I think it's just, you know, you get feeling like. I just think it's a really good perspective to say, oh, my life is kind of starting now and I'm at a point where I get to decide what do I want to do with it? And that's what you would be doing if you had been spending years in college or spending years as an intern or lower on the kind of like ranking of your job that now you're at a place where you're like 27, 28, 29, 30 where you get to go, okay, like what am I going to do with all the skills that I've collected?

13:03Well, can I ask you because like, listen, everyone, I think it was the most iconic moment when like you were Hannah Montana And I know probably for a while you were like, I don't even want to hear that fucking name for a minute because like kindly shut the fuck up. My name is Miley Cyrus. You I mean, the bangers era when all of a sudden it was like you took everything to the fucking max and you were like, this is my clit nipple and we're ready to roll. Everybody watched me twerk everywhere. And it was iconic, but it was almost like you were trying to break away from the Disney thing. And what do you when you look back on the era?

13:33What do you like? What does it make you feel? What's so weird about that is also that was for me. And like, just like getting, I guess that's the full circle of my story that I was trying to get to was basically, I mean, I was wondering why I wanted to tell you that, but I guess that is why, because it's so relevant in my career. Like I never thought, I really, really don't care what anyone else is really doing with their life as long as they're being like a good person. And to me, I just still can't believe that people care so much about what I'm doing. but in the times where I want them to like when I'm rallying people to fight injustices or trying to normalize like my LGBTQ community that I'm proud to be a part of when it comes to that I'm happy that I have the attention that I do and it's not something that you get to turn on and off it doesn't come with a switch and so I am really happy that people are so interested and intrigued by me and my choices in my life because that means that I really do have a loud you know platform Yeah, you have a voice.

14:29But I definitely think that that VMAs 2013 era was kind of an awakening. And I guess I'm just going through round two right now. Yeah. But it was like the first one was like, I mean, obviously, when did you realize like, oh, I'm not just attracted to men? Like, how young were you? I was attracted to girls way before I ever was attracted to guys. When I was like 11 years old, I used to think that like Minnie Mouse was super fucking hot. it and like that is i thought which is so good i ended up on disney so my chances with mini went up by like oh my god you're like mini you me let's fuck yeah she was super hot to me um i always thought that the female characters in movies were way hotter than any of the guys i actually never really understood what these girls were doing with these like idiots right you're like that penis is disgusting um so yeah so that was kind of it and then like yeah when i was like 11 or 12 my friends were starting to kind of like tell me what they were doing with guys and I didn't really understand it so I've got most of my girlfriends to hook up with me that is such an amazing the first time I ever hooked up with anyone was with the girl was a girl two of them and did you go past first base yeah oh yeah of course oh my god absolutely okay and then when did you hook up with a guy um I hooked up with well I didn't go all the way with the dude I was 16 it wasn't Nick jonas it wasn't nick jonas but i ended up marrying the guy oh my god so that's pretty crazy so that's the first guy you hooked up with yeah which i lied and said that he wasn't the first so i didn't seem like a loser okay but now you're telling the truth more of a full circle story it's so fucking weird because i couldn't think i couldn't think of of anyone he was like oh whoever you had sex with and i couldn't think of anyone so i just like made somebody up right i knew but we had never actually had sex before and then like his friend ended up marrying him and so then it was like oh now my friend is marrying someone you've hooked up with.

16:16So then when I was like 24, I had to say that I lied when I was 16. You're like, so that was a full-blown lie. It was a lie that I held on to for like 10 years. Wow. And then once you're kind of stuck in a lie, like you're kind of fucked. Oh yeah. Then I was like, no reason to like dig old bones up. But then you're like, okay, this is directly affecting our lives. So I'll tell you. Yeah. Yeah. That was so weird when it directly affected my life. You're like, how the fuck did this happen? It's so weird. You're like, I picked a random. That's why I think that everything's pre-programmed in this world.

16:40it's supposed to happen like what's meant to be will be do you have like a type i know like you you're attracted to people's souls like you're attracted to but do you have like who are you in a relationship i'm so interested no are you hyper crazy and you like a calm person oh my god i actually do kind of need i usually end up complaining that they're boring but that's what i need i need boring me too i'm realizing i need like more calm very calm they have to be i mean you're fucking by these are you need like a confident guy yeah but he can't be the same level as you like of like screaming i definitely definitely need like a calming i need an anchor i need a weight but when i was thinking about this yesterday and knowing we're gonna have this conversation i was thinking about someone has to bring more to the table than their plate they can't just be like fill me up all the fucking time and i think that's kind of that's a big part of my life is filling people back up and that can make me go below zero below e and so it's really important that I feel fulfilled and um yeah they they have to bring something to the table do you think it's like hard because of how mega successful you are like how the fuck are you like how would you ever date a normal person you can't so I think that's what ended up making like female relationships make more sense to me because like the role that I was in made more sense oh that's interesting because it was like well there's not going to be this weird thing that like I pay for everything and I whatever and then I was like but that's just like a stereotype too like if I'm going to be with a girl like I'm totally down to be with like a boss bitch that's like as successful or more successful than me that's cool too but I felt like the women that end up being around it like the role fit easier for me because like even in my relationship with men a lot of the times like I kind of hold a more dominant you're cut you have the power you wear the pants a little more dominant space well how could you not it felt like that made it less uncomfortable yeah and then it felt like I was choosing partners out of anxiety which is like so much to do with like my therapy journey too because I don't want to choose who I'm going to be with out of like anxiety of fear or stereotype because that's like not anything that I represent or believe in is like the stereotype so it's like I need to find a guy that's confident enough in himself that he's okay that I am kind of like masculine and strong and just like there's a lot of qualities to me that tend to like associate more with the male role and that's yeah I I yeah I agree I it's kind of beautiful that you've been like, and so I'm, I'm okay right now being like, yeah, it works better with a woman.

19:21And if I can find a man that can be accepting of that, great. But for right now, for you, the female relationship is working better. Yeah. This just made a lot more sense like at a time. And then like, what's, what's funny about that too, is like, I guess, I don't know. I guess I've just have been very experimental. Like I've been with a lot of different kinds of like dudes and chicks. Like I've been with like super femme girls, yeah girls that kind of make me feel more femme like I just really don't have a type the main thing for me is that someone has to bring something that is elevating my life yeah and like that's in all my relationships not just my sexual relationship totally yeah you need people that are going to be just like as powerful in a room it doesn't have doesn't they don't have to be as successful they don't have to have more money but you don't want to feel like you're like dragging this person and giving this person and you're not getting filled up that's awful do you know what your love languages are i do i don't you love like finding out people's love languages okay wait tell me so my love language kind of makes me sound like an asshole but it's not it is acts of service oh wait i thought no gifts is more asshole yeah gifts are crazy you're like give me a chanel i hate gifts okay me too i really don't like it cringe right um yeah that's so embarrassing i don't know what to do with my face i don't know right i hate it but i like acts of service because I would say that on the giving and the receiving end like if someone that I'm with tells me like my closet's driving me crazy it's totally unorganized by the time they're home the next day I've already dealt with it I'm like that I really love to do things for people or if someone says that anything like I'll I I remember I one boyfriend I had like I think you thought it was really weird that I made him I made him a bong for his birthday oh my god and I like handmade made this like bong and then I thought he thought it was kind of weird but it's like I would rather someone make something for me and like that to me is like an act of service like I took time wait this is so fascinating also talking to you about this because just based off of everything we're talking about you're talking about the way you give love like and then there's two ways you how the fuck Miley here we go how do you receive so receiving I also really really like you like I like act of service okay even though I feel like an asshole I do like when people do things for me and then my other one is there's physical touch words of affirmation quality time I like quality time quality time is my other one but quality emphasis on quality like not just time right I don't want you just like to fill the space right I want you to bring something to the fucking table and that is what I like really demand now as like I'm getting older yeah I allowed so many people to just come and like bullshit your time fucking breath to my air and like suck out the life of my spaces and like I'm just over that yeah I was gonna ask you like how I think a lot of people look I always talk about it because it's like I love to talk about sex but I also like to talk about like everyone has been through shitty relationships everyone's been through heartbreak and like is there a little like tip you can give anyone listening to like getting through any heartbreak we've all been through relationships that we break up like have you found your okay so i had a very very public of course very like big breakup that was over a 10 year span of a relationship and sitting with me now i would hope you find me to be somewhat this way which is not the public perception is i'm very logical i'm very organized you are and like very kind of center and so i love lists lists keep my whole fucking world on track my world would be wrecked if i didn't make a list that's brilliant every day i have a list of what do i want how am I going to achieve it what's the next step and so with heartbreak I tried to not get lost in the emotion not and I also don't like that with women too it's like well you're a cold bitch it's like right no no I have the world is going to keep turning it's like it's like a death when you lose a love straight up deep like it feels like a death it's honestly sometimes that even feels easier because it's more you can like put it to bed and move on you know that person still walking around I know like the person still walking on the earth and choosing every day because it's a choice right death isn't a choice right and this is a choice so to not get lost in emotion to focus on the logics is to make a list of what you were gaining and what you were losing yeah what they were contributing to your life and what they were subtracting and to value each of these things by one through ten so like fuck miley hasn't figured and then you add them all up and if the person was adding more to your life then you know what is expected for your next relationship and what they were subtracting you know what you will not accept ever again and so you look at these two things and you go this is what i okay so one of the things that are really important to me in a relationship yeah other than active service like besides active service i like people taking care of themselves i think the way someone treats themselves is a reflection of the way that they'll treat you so true so i'm like super into like clean eating i'm into people taking care of themselves i knew that the place to meet my next partner was not going to be at like a fucking burger king no if clean eating and self-maintenance is going to be important i know to look in communities where those people are going to gather i now no longer look at like any sort of aa meetings because i myself have i i don't really want to help someone on their journey right you're helping yourself because i need to take care of my own right right but i do you know you don't like as someone that's living a sober lifestyle don't go to the club looking for your next partner you know so put yourself in places where you'll be successful so you don't get stuck on I'm just always wasting my time with all these people it's like you can really control the kind of people that are going to like flow in and out of your life straight up create a filtration system so I have filtered my life of what I will accept and what I will not I am sorry but like you just sounded so like you have it fucking figured out and i know you don't but like no but that shit right there i'm like did everyone is everyone listening write that fucking down i'm about to go back and listen that helps with every single thing and like even people in your life so you look at the people that like matter the most to you like my mom matters the most to me of anyone so i write down her qualities of what i love about her and i try to find people like that because one day i may not have my mom on this earth and i want to have people that like keep her spirit of life through them and i do think that there's little there's little sparks of like we're all kind of one and we've all just divided into these our own little sources of energy and like our own little souls but we're all kind of like one right away i think and so i think that i could find little pieces of her and other people dude that is like so fucking beautiful wait you're like fucking mature as shit what my lead i'm not coming with the facts i'm not in real life i still love dicks and all the things but i think the idea right that that like i don't know i just think that there's a level of there's a level of logic to everything yeah not getting lost no that is that's pretty brilliant and wait so are you not smoking weed anymore i'm not smoking weed okay wait i'm gonna okay in the spirit of like being called her daddy i always say like okay i think it's high sex is the best sex drunk sex is a fucking like it gets fun sometimes but It's just like Kate and it's like a little slot.

26:38I have a thing about sweat. So high sex can be the best sex, obviously. And obviously if you were like smoking all the time, you were having high sex. And now that you're not like, how are you doing? Okay, I'm doing great. Okay, great. Here's the thing about this, which is really funny because like my, I'm going to wait for this to go away because it's going to get juicy. Airplanes in the night. I'm telling you, I live at fucking Bourbon. Fuck. It's really not, it's not right. Yeah, we got to move. we gotta milk we gotta get out of here yeah miley like kind of like lives like at the airport at the airport it gives me anxiety okay okay but what are we gonna talk about we're gonna say oh high sex of course so my identity is much my identity is related to sex in a much deeper way than my sexuality is, if that makes any sense.

27:33So my identity and who I am as a person is very sexual. And who I am as a sexual person is, again, maybe I'm like a selfish psycho. But sex is really about me in my mind. Of course. Everything's about me in my mind, apparently. I won't know, but everything is about Miley, but we can give ourselves an orgasm. But I just feel like I, let me think about this. Let's think about my sex life. I get turned on by again like what people are like contributing to my life right and as of right now having someone that's also sober like a partner is like very sexual to me because it's very like present and very there right but I think it's really funny how my identity is so wrapped up in sexuality when my sexuality actually just has a lot to do with like my identity and who I am as a person does that make any fucking sense are you guys with us i you lost me it's just really weird i just think people think of me as a hypersexual being right like you're having sex all the time 24 7 and it's just really which i would but like i enjoy sexuality more than i enjoy sex that's a better way to say it okay there we go and i'm much more into sexuality than sex like i but i also don't really fuck with foreplay because i just am too busy wait really i don't fuck with foreplay as everyone will tell you even in my business i do not like to tease things i like to not say shit and then fucking go for it and scare the shit out of you so that's my thing i like i have a lot fucking going on i don't really have time to like sit around and flick my pussy i really want to get the shit done and fucking get back to editing wait so what are we doing like throwing lube on there how are we going lube and hurry oh like hurry if i'm in the mood we're good right i don't really need lube to be honest okay so like i'm like good stick it right in just hurry hurry I'm kind of like hurry and make it good oh but I'm not like I'm not like an old like oh I don't really want to have sex I go through seasons where like I think I can have sex with women longer than I can with men really maybe it's because you just get in there and it's like kind of done and I think women are much more attractive I don't really want to stare at a dick for a long period of time you know what I mean yeah yeah so like I could definitely have foreplay longer with a girl than I could with a guy wow I don't really want to look at a penis for any longer than I have to i think that's why i want it to go inside so it gets out of my face i don't want it in my face dude no i always say to girls like dicks as an aesthetic yeah yeah like put them in sparkles exactly yeah yeah i always tell girls that are like fuck is it weird as shit like i'm not a lesbian but i watch girl on girl porn girls are way hotter you don't want to see a fucking dick in your face we know this i don't want that i like everyone i think can agree that from ancient times that dicks make wonderful sculpture beautiful but more than that i am not as interested They're a little scary sometimes.

30:18I like dicks as art pieces. Yeah. And sculptural. I love the shape. I think it really looks good on a table. It's good if it can just get in and go away. Right. Because I don't want it eyeing me off. That's how I truly feel. That honestly is so brilliant. I feel good about saying that. You're like, and listen to that and I'll say it a fucking guess. Everyone knows that tits are prettier than balls. Everybody knows this. Sorry. Queen, yes. It's fucking true. Wait, can I ask you? That's why it's all about me because I'm secretly just looking at my own body. Right. You're like, I'm so fucking hot.

30:47Your dick is ugly, but look at this pussy. Exactly. And that's why it's almost hotter hooking up with girls. Marjorie is for me. That's what I'm saying. It's all. Because you get turned on. I don't give a fuck. On your show, you're allowed to say it's all about me. It's all about me. Like, I want to look down and see me in my thing that makes me feel hot. Absolutely. You should just masturbate in front of a mirror all the time. I have some Chanel underwear that are actually not even hot for, like, a guy. They're kind of like granny. Right. But they're so fashion, and I'm so obsessed with them.

31:13And so you wear them for you. So I wear them for me. And it's like. That's amazing. Can I ask you? Because I think so many fucking women like are so terrified of their like, is my vagina ugly? Like I feel like my labia lips aren't as cute or like my clit's big or like whatever. And I'm like, no, you have to own your fucking pussy. You just got to become friends with yourself and like dig yourself. Love it. And I also just think that there's like, if you're starting to feel bad about your vagina, just Google dicks and you'll start feeling okay. Wait, this is actually like kind of facts. Yeah. Look at that shriveling little thing.

31:44Especially when it's done, it's like, oh, look at him. Little baby carrot. We're not like, I'm just like not, that's just not my thing. Yeah. And how did like, if you've hooked up with men, can they tell that you're not into them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that, I think that I wouldn't be doing it if I wasn't into it. True. So in the moment, I'm feeling it. But later. Are you not giving blowjobs? Later, I like if the guy. I've given a blowjob recently. Okay. But it wasn't as much fun as I thought it was going to be. It honestly just took too long. You're like, that was awful. I actually say every day, like, I don't really want to do morning sex, even though I used to really like to.

32:21I don't really do it because I've got, like, when I'm thinking about the editors in New York, and, like, I'm a little bit worried about them, like, you know, you saw the video that, like, making sure the bubble gum looks glossy. That's more important. It is more important. And I just don't have time to sit around and, like, play with my vagina. I need it to all be on my schedule. And you don't have time then. If you don't have that, then you don't have time to suck a dick. And I'm not an asshole because men, if they say the same thing, they're a boss, they're running their business. Like that would be, what about the men that like, these are not all men's, I'm not generalizing, but what about men that like work on their kids' birthdays?

32:55My dad had to work on my birthday. If you're a woman and you're like, listen, I don't have time to give you a blowjob because I want to work, you're an asshole. But if you don't show up to your child's birthday party because you got to get your business done, you're a boss. Yeah. That's fucked up. That is fucked up. That's fucked up. I'm glad you're like so open about this shit because I feel like there are so many fucking girls that are like, yeah, like I just like twirl on that dick and like I'm just like wild. I don't twirl on that. I don't twirl, period. And I definitely don't twirl on that dick.

33:20You're like, I don't do handstands. I'm not a twirler. Wait, okay. Can I ask you what your favorite position is then? My favorite thing is Lauren Conrad's video of CEO. Wait, what? So someone says, what's your favorite position? And she goes, CEO. What the fuck is that? So she's the head boss. She's the CEO. Oh, okay. yeah but that's my favorite oh you want to know what it is look at me like not getting no that's like if i not if you're bent over a desk if you're sitting at the desk with your hands on the keyboard writing an email to someone that didn't do what the fuck they were supposed to and you're making sure that they know that that's what happened wait that's kind of that's my favorite position okay that's fair okay i kind of like love that you answered with that and i hate that i like was like huh this is an interesting question yeah now now after you like thinking about like you okay so you like hook up with girls so if you had to pick for the rest of your life i'm scared you have to pick either getting eaten out or fingered and you can't get the other one which one are you getting i'd rather finger myself okay that's i think i'm obsessed with me wait wait i really am everyone else like guys someone else is going to be in the room and like you're going to feel uncomfortable i like when um but you like the stallion says stop licking my pussy hard that shit's aggravating like that's really aggravating yeah oh no well because i think it's it's hard because it's like i feel like there's not as many people that know how to eat pussy but it fingering is so underrated and it can be so amazing.

34:40Okay, so you're going with fingering. I'm just like into me. I'm going with fingering, but with myself. Yourself. Yes. Honestly, that is most daddy fucking statement. My tongue is long, but not that long. But honestly, like maybe you could kind of get down. If I could remove a rib, maybe. Do you have any favorite sex toys that you can like give advice for the daddy gang to get? Okay, so here's my advice for you, which recently got given to me and I thought it was highly valuable. Oh. So I thought I would pass it down. Okay. Generations to generations. Love. So one of my main gays was over at my house helping me pick lighting for above my bed.

35:07We were like, are we going to go with a chandelier? Are we going to go with something modern? What are we going to go with? And he's like, well, you got to go with a flush mount. And I'm like, what the fuck's a flush mount? He's like, you got to make sure it's like really tight to the ceiling because you don't want when you stand up to hit your head on the light fixture or like try to grab onto it for fun and then pull it out of the wall. And then it come crashing down and part of the chandelier go through your partner's sternum. Now you're a murderer. And you like. I'm sorry, what? It got so deep, but I was like, apparently he's like speaking from like, I'm guessing from trauma or experience.

35:37He's like, this has happened to me. Don't try it. So he stands up on my bed. Luckily he's six foot two. So I did go with the chandelier, but I don't think that's going to be a problem. Okay, great. So he was telling me that for future reference to always be really, let's see that this is about a lot. This is about logic. I'm all about logic. So for particular, you got to be very particular about lighting above your bed because it's one step away from being a murderer. That's the advice that I was given. Wait, that is really interesting. So he said that the chandelier was like, if you grab onto it, if it comes out of the wall and you pick one of the ones that are like classic, like chandelier style, that it can come down and go crashing through the person's sternum.

36:11And that seems like a nightmare trying to explain. Miley? If I'm going to kill someone, it's definitely not going to be with a chandelier. So wait. Even though that's kind of chic. Is anyone following where, when I said, what's a good sex toy, you want - You said advice. Oh wait. So that was advice. My advice for you. So I feel like everyone listening is like, okay, don't put the chandelier above the - Yeah, don't put the chandelier just because you don't want to kill someone. Honestly, I would. And you don't want to hit your head. That's embarrassing. And also, I feel like the whole murder thing, I'm just not down.

36:35I'm not in the mood. I'm already weird about getting embarrassed. I get embarrassed really, really easy. Really? Wait, why? And if I get red, it will stick. What would you get embarrassed about? Like in the bedroom? I just don't really ever want. Like if you accidentally queep. Crazy sounds. Oh, yeah. Crazy sounds. Dude, that's so fucking worse. Or falling. I'm always scared that I'm going to roll. I have when you fall off a bed mid sex and you try to like no let's keep it going and it's like I don't do falls like falls freak me out I've really only fallen knock on wood this is probably gonna happen to me soon a handful of times in my life and this is I'm not trying to do it and do you just stop you can't continue sex I'll continue and try to make it a shtick because that's like in your head you're like that's the like kind of like physical comedy in me to like be like that was on purpose it's like a Charlie Chaplin kind of move yeah you're like but no I'm actually not I'm doing this now.

37:23I just, like, I would not want anything really embarrassing to happen. I actually agree. Killing someone with a chandelier seems really embarrassing. I feel like that's the ultimate. That's the ultimate. It's not even embarrassing. It's also life-changing. But I did think it was good advice, and I was wondering why I didn't think about it before. No, I actually, like, I think because a lot of people don't put chandeliers. Have lighting over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a light already when I moved in. That's a rich bitch problem. But it was down towards the end, which I thought was okay.

37:45Okay, yeah. And then he was saying no, because what if you go the other way? Like, it's just. that's a rich person problem listen this was apparently like a six foot four gay guy problem i don't think i'm ever going to get close enough to a light but i did think it was good advice okay so everybody listening guys chandeliers no fucking go no fucking go or just anything that could like you don't want to be you don't you don't want to mix interior and sex no that's that's really great advice i honestly have never thought about that specific situation and i'll always keep that in mind see now when you walk into a hotel room and there's a fucking light about the bed you're gonna think about me you're gonna be like no cap the light we're done light we're done okay what about do you use sex toys or just your fingers um i like sex toys most of my sex toys i use as see i i'm i'm very um contradictory i was just saying don't involve sex and interior design but i do like sex toys as interior design okay so a lot of the time i'll buy a dildo and like more than about its operation oh this is you want it to look cute this is from pleasure chest so this is actually like real but i don't really want to get in there with it because I love the way that it looks.

38:46Yeah, guys, it's like a blue sparkly dick. And it's honestly, it's so cute. It's really cute. It's really, really cute. It's really cute. So I'm really into dildos for interior design and I buy them for myself, but I end up using them for interior design. So like, you're like, I'll probably use that one day. And then you end up just putting it out in like your family room. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Do you like vibrators? I like vibrators. But I really just like mostly aesthetic and I feel like I'm like pretty good with like dealing with myself. Wait, that's pretty great. Yeah. And how do you like, when do you think you got super like you said, you've always been confident but do you think you've always been like super confident sexually within yourself i've gone through a lot of seasons like i feel like it's very reflective of where i am and if you talk to me in a year which we should we should talk again when i'm not busy because when i'm not busy my sex drive is totally different really and i think that's something like it goes up also with women i when i'm working it goes down because i'm like oh so in my zone of working that you're kind of like I don't have time one I did read an amazing book about kind of like adrenals and your hormones and I have low cholesterol and when you have low cholesterol it affects your sex drive and when I'm like working I don't eat as regularly then my cholesterol gets low your cholesterol controls all the hormones in your body so when you get low blood sugar low cholesterol not eating like snacks and things like that yeah by the end of the night if I'm hungry I'm definitely not horny wait that's why i never even knew that that's really good information to check your cholesterol so people guys cholesterol but like really logical that's really smart because like i feel like there are so many girls like why am i like never horny and like check your cholesterol apparently miley says check your cholesterol it creates all your hormones and it'll change your life sometimes i will like okay what is fucked up is if i will eat like something like crazy like i'm like fuck this i've been working all day i'm ordering like a shit ton of mexican food yeah then all of a sudden i get horny i'm like horrible timing like i was looking so hot all day long I'm just loaded as fuck.

40:39But then it's my cholesterol goes up and my blood sugar. And then you're like, I'm going to go poop. I can't have sex right now. Sometimes you just got to knock it all out. Yeah, sometimes you got to do it all. Wow. Okay, wait. This is kind of like a really interesting question that is kind of turning. But how many times have you been in love? This is kind of like a really interesting question that is kind of turning. But how many times have you been in love? How many times have I been in love? I've been in love three times I've been in love three times but I've been in love more than in love with anyone else one time and then I think that kind of sticks around but I've been in love I've been in love with I would say one person who is a girl that I still think about and dream about all the time but you just know that something just doesn't fit and I think that's something that I learned a lot in therapy too like you just can't try to fit this fucking swear into a circle because you start driving yourself to a place where like trying to make something that is physically impossible work yeah will drive you insane that is like so fucking mature of you to say that because i think that sometimes when there's love it's really hard to walk away from something even if it's not working but the fact that you can sit here and be like i'm in love like i love that i don't believe in uh once you love me either i don't believe in once you love because there are qualities that people bring to your life that one person never will again or one like they're just i don't believe in one two left the fact that your answer to if you want to get eaten out or fingered and you said i want to get fingered but i also want to do it my fucking self yeah miley fucking cyrus dude that's your daddy game yeah this is the way it rolls if you want something done right you do it the fuck yourself did you guys hear that that's what i'm saying otherwise you're gonna have to like give notes and give feedback i also don't want to like give someone a pat on the back after it's honestly not that hard and it's not that hard and also i could probably do it better that's what i'm saying yeah i just can't reach wait okay so your new song sex and interior design go actually really hand in hand i love how you keep saying here's the thing about it i love interior design here's the thing about it my only problem with not being able to do interior design by myself is a lot of the times i can't reach oh otherwise i could do it all myself you're kind of like the woman that does it all so you're like just get a fucking ladder just get a ladder like if you could get a ladder then you would do that ladder i'm scared of heights I'm just going to hide.

42:56I hate flying. Wait, can I ask you? I have people ask to move. Like, people won't sit by me on the plane. Wait, really? Swear to God. Wait, why? This one woman was sober and started drinking beers ferociously because I was screaming that we're not getting enough speed. And so she ordered a beer. We're not getting enough speed, sir. Do you ever feel like you are? Don't you hate when you get up in the air and then all of a sudden it feels like they go, oh, and I can feel like I'm like, I don't. Wait, do you fly commercial? Yeah, and I hate flying. Wait, how does that go? Apparently not so well because I'm like boycotted by, well, I've actually, yeah, I was on a no fly list for a second and I'll show you because everyone assumed I was just going to bring in drugs.

43:32Wait. But then I fixed it. What? I could only go into work basically. So yeah, the flying gets a little sketch because I get searched like extra crazy. I think that's literally the complete opposite of what I thought. Oh no. You're like, yeah, it's hard because people come up to me, you're like, I can't because they think I'm bringing drugs. They just assume that I'm bringing drugs. Wait, what? But you can fly kind of like people don't come up to you like too crazy like attack you. Some people bug me. I actually like people not treating me special. Yeah. So I had a guy on a queen on Delta the other day that treated me like shit and I loved him.

44:06Wait, you're like, I'm horny. Yeah. I'll actually fuck you. Wow. He was like mad at me because I was watching my HGTV too loud and I could never hear him when he was asking me things. And he was annoyed and I loved him. He was mean to Bradley too. He was mean to you. Wait, that's kind of amazing. We won him over. you're like i fucking love this on delta was so fucking mean to me and i like wanted to give him the biggest hug for it but he did not want to hug for me but you're like i love you he's like bitch what are you talking about i hate you yeah he did not like me wow but i loved him okay so you're afraid when people are like treat people special me too i'd rather yeah i definitely treat the people that are like the lowest on the call sheet better than i would at the the top i have so much respect for you because so many people already fucking do that for the people at the top you don't need me to jerk you off everyone else is boom and i think it's also a refreshing because like you are so like i mean sitting here with you i'm like i you're so normal that it's getting gorged by the way i know guys wait do we look so hot in these cameras right now miley's tits are popping we're ready this is the g um can you just just because it's like my childhood and i'm sorry i just pulled this um do you now feel like you're in a place where like you can accept hannah montana and you look back and you enjoy it because honestly your throwbacks are fucking everything i'm obsessed with it like right they taught me how to glue my fucking wig down yeah the extension i was already so ready for this world yeah you know they prepared me in a way that you cannot pay money for yeah my wig was snatched at like age 11 what were you doing bitch you were literally in it everyone wanted your hair i love that there's this video of me and i'm probably like 12 and i'm going through my fucking tour bus and i have a shirt that says just got off the catwalk and I'm talking about how it's my favorite.

45:46And then I turn around and I'm like, and that's my wig. And I'm like, what 11 year old do you know that has a real hair lace front sitting on a mannequin head with just like, it was a dream. No one, Miley. That is kind of wild. It seemed like a nightmare when I wanted to escape it, but that's just being 18. Like you want to escape who you are, even if it was just someone from, you know. Well, and sometimes you just need a little bit of distance to then like appreciate it. And obviously during bangers and stuff, you're like, stop calling me fucking Hannah Montana. It's been the same way in relationships too.