My First Professional Athlete (ft. Boston Red Sox)

29:08So I was on my own this weekend to fend for myself in the streets of Boston. Okay. So my friends and I had made plans of our own and decided to go to this club called cure not long after arriving. None other. Okay. I'm at the club with my friends. None other than Red Sox, man walks through the door. He had told me, Oh babe, like I'm not really in the mood like I think I'm gonna call an early night like I'm just gonna like order in like guess it I'm standing titties out short dress heels on hair done and this man walks into the club surrounded by his teammates and a bunch of girls and I immediately wanted to throw up I'm like oh my god it must be like a miscommunication like oh my god like I my my phone must not have service down here he must have texted me to come out like something must be And I was definitely having a fun night with my friends.

30:08But once he arrived, like, obviously, that's all I could focus on. So he's walking in and they are getting escorted to their table. And I'm like trying to make eye contact with him so he can like see me because I'm convinced like, oh, my God, once he sees me, like it's over. Like he's obviously going to invite me over. So I'm like I'm like trying to like shimmy my body through the crowd. I'm like, like trying to like not be too cringe, but I'm just trying to like, you know, like get him to notice me. And I'm like, and I'm literally just like scooting through, just trying to get closer to him. Cause they're a woman is like escorting them quickly to this table.

30:43And as I get closer, I like absolutely make eye contact with him. And he clearly wants nothing to do with me and is fully avoiding eye contact. act. And I realize he's clearly with another girl who awfully looks very similar to me. So I'm like panicking. They get set up at their table and I'm like, okay, like I'm a little embarrassed also. Like my friends are like, we got this, we got this. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, we got this. We got this. But I'm embarrassed. I'm like, bitch, I was just in your fucking bed like five days ago. Like, how are you going to act like not even come over and then just don't invite me to the, like your table, but like, at least like acknowledge my existence, you know?

31:21No, no, no, that's too much. So I go to the bar. I take a couple shots and I progressively get more and more and more and more and more and more intoxicated. And I get this courage about me thinking in my drunken state that if I can get him to have one of our deep, classic, honest, vulnerable conversations we always have in bed. And if I push up the titties enough, he's obviously going to leave that girl and he's going to end up with me tonight. It's classic. It's one plus one equals two, like done. And that's where the tequila is not our friends, girls. Because if I were thinking rationally, I would have realized the club is probably not the best place to have a conversation with someone.

32:14And it's definitely not the right place to have a conversation with someone who has been avoiding you. Okay. Food for thought girls. Never chase a man in a club. Talk to him the next morning. Red Sox man gets up and I see him start making his way across the club. And I recognize he's making his way to the bathroom. I am a monster at this point. I have been fiending for this moment. Like it's at this point, probably been an hour just for context. And so I blackout and I focus on my mission. I start to lunge my body towards his body. And my friends are pulling me back saying like, Alex, no, Alex, no, you're going to regret this in the morning.

33:00Like just call him in the fucking morning. And I'm like, absolutely not. We need to talk right now, right here, right now. So I proceed to, please, please no judgment when I say this, but here we go. I proceed to follow this man into the public men's bathroom of the motherfucking club. I just walk directly in like no shame. I just strut my little fucking ass in there. Literally. Why did a bouncer not tackle me to the fucking ground in that moment. I honestly would have paid him the next fucking day. I just walk right in as if I've got a dick myself and I'm immediately searching for him. I'm like, where is he?

33:46Where is he? And he's one of these, he's in one of the stalls with the door because all the urinals are filled with other men with their fucking dicks out peeing. And they all look at me the minute I walk in and I see him go into this stall. And before he has a chance to lock the little door I shove the stall door open and I call his name and I'm like we need to talk he whips around with his dick in his hand and he's like fully fucking mortified and he's like Alex what the fuck are you doing like he's so he's so shocked he's like he knows I'm a crazy bitch but this clearly like he was like oh this bitch is insane and in that moment I'm so hurt I'm like why are you acting like it's weird that I'm here?

34:29Like, why are you acting like I'm shocked? Like, what are you doing? Like, babe, like we need to have a conversation. Like, babe, of course I came in here and I needed a moment alone with you to reconnect. Like, of course I'll take those tickets for the next home game. Like, calm down. We're back. We're fine. We're fine. Like it's so fucking sick. It's literally sick. What I wasn't thinking about were the optics of this situation. That's when tequila really does you dirty where you're like I didn't think young girl shouting at man dick out other men in the room like I didn't see it that way I just thought it was a private moment in a little stall together okay so I just start having the conversation as he's yelling at me and I'm like I really just don't understand like you're kind of being mean and like aggressive and like you're kind of like you kind of said you like weren't coming out tonight so like obviously it's like a shock that I'm seeing you here should we talk about this and like wait what are you doing later tonight like should we go home and I'm just like what the fuck why am I acting this way I'm like you probably could have texted me like I don't know and he's yelling at me he's like Alex get out of the bathroom like my dick is out like all these other like get out and then I am persistent and I just keep talking to him I'm like how dare you bring another girl here like you're always so sweet to me now they think about it and then when another girl's around like I can't stop I can't be stuck I'm like you're being such a dick all of a sudden all of the men in the bathroom start to chime in with Red Sox man and they're like, bitch, get the fuck out of here.

35:50Like he doesn't want to talk to you. Like why are you in the bathroom? And thank God, here's the thing. I'm impenetrable at this point though. Okay. Like nothing could hurt my feelings. Truly nothing. I have an agenda. Okay. All these men, I'm like, yeah, fuck off. Finally, he zips up his little pants and he, he escorts me out of the men's bathroom. And he said, I'll talk to you later Alex go home and he goes back to his table

36:23now as much of a little bitch as I was being I also still had that fight in me okay like I am a motherfucking cockroach. I will not die tonight, motherfucker. So what did I do? I made the executive decision to not go home after I had completely humiliated myself. I needed a redemption moment.

37:09I needed a redemption moment. And so I decided to look around the club. And here's the thing. I always knew that if the Red Sox were playing someone, there was a pretty high chance that the opposing team would also be out that night. Okay? So I turned my demon vision to the right and across the club, I saw this one very, very famous athlete. And I decide he is now my mission. Probably Red Sox man is like, God bless, like leave me alone. So I grabbed my friends and I say, let's go. We're going to a different table. And I see Red Sox man is watching me as I am beelining it across the club. and I go up to this guy.

37:59He immediately lets me into his table. I'm looking good. I got my extensions. I've got my tiny dress. We're flirting. He starts flirting with me. We're hitting it off. And he's like, this guy actually was such a sweet guy. We actually ended up having a little like on and off relationship, even out of college. He was a lovely guy. He was just a little too fucking boring for me. He was really sweet though. Probably like great marriage material. And I was like, I want the penis and the dickhead. So we are about to start making out in this club, okay? Okay. And I say, I say, hey, I say, feeling all confident, like, do you want to come back to my dorm?

38:40Like, this man makes millions of dollars also. And I'm like, you want to come back to the dorm? And he laughs. And he's like, do you want to come back to my hotel? Like, we don't need to go to your dorm. And I'm like, amazing. Let's do it. And so this happens and everyone is clearing out the club at this time. The lights come on. It's 3 a.m. in Boston. Time to go home. Everyone funnels out of the club. I'm arm in arm with my new boy. And I think it was the Miami Marlins. I'm standing outside of the club and everyone is getting Ubers. Everyone is getting taxis. Everyone is getting their plans home for the night.

39:17Okay. and Red Sox man, I see him standing a few feet away from me with seven, six, seven women around him. And I am standing with this baseball player and he is trying to hail a cab like feet away. Okay. And I can tell he's eyeing me and I'm eyeing him obviously, obviously. And all of a sudden red socks man walks directly up to us and my heart starts fluttering I'm like oh my god oh my god he's coming up to me like he's so jealous like he's so jealous he's gonna apologize he's gonna ditch the other women like he's gonna grab my hand he's gonna put me in the car like he's gonna go oh my god this is literally perfect I'm going home with him and so I'm like getting ready I'm like fixing myself like territorially I was like oh this is a big moment like step on this little fucker on this other team like she's mine like fuck you little bitch but as you can imagine that's not how it went you know instead he wasn't coming over to talk to me he pulls the baseball player's arm that I am standing with and he pulls him away from me and he whispers something in his ear and I'm in shock I can't move I remember my body was feeling so numb I'm like wait what is happening like what is happening like it all was happening so fast I remember like people were all staring at this interaction and I'm like unclear of what's happening the taxi pulls up that he had just hailed baseball boy that I was about to go home with looks at me and he goes, sorry, Alex.

41:03And he gets in the cab and he leaves and drives away. So now I am standing by myself in the middle of the road and I turned to Red Sox man trying to fight back tears in my eyes. So dramatic. And I am like, you're the devil. What did you say to him? And I start freaking out. And he literally looks at me deadpan and goes, you're mine. And he walks away and he gets in his car and leaves with the seven women. and I stand in front of this nightclub for what felt like an hour by myself. My friends had all gone home because I was like, I'm going home with this one. You guys can take off. And finally, the bouncer gets me a cab and I somehow make my way back to my dorm room empty handed.

42:05I walk into my common area. All of my friends are shocked to see me without baseball boy. They're like, Alex, what happened? Like, why aren't you with the guy? Like they start making me a grilled cheese they like can tell like to to I think every girl in college can relate to this when you have a big friend group like it's gonna be one of us crying one night like the night before like my other friend was crying so they knew it was my night they're like here she fucking goes we knew it she starts they start making me a grilled cheese I'm so dramatic I get into the bathtub with no water I take off all of my clothes I just like get naked in front of everyone I get into the tub I curl up like I don't even deserve to sleep in a bed tonight I deserve to feel the pain I deserve to feel miserable I am miserable he's ruining my life like I honestly probably at that time was like just probably like trying to channel like Marissa Cooper like this is something she would do like she's like so fucked up and dramatic and like my friend Bridget is like I think we need to remove like the razors from the bathtub tonight my friends were so dramatic we were being so dramatic like Alex like you lost your mind I'm like guys I'm not gonna like fucking kill myself Like, please, like, I'm just depressed and I want to pretend to be depressed for the rest of the night so I can be sad.

43:14Let me be sad. Like turning on like Death Cab by Cutie, being like, and like just bad, just bad. You know how it goes. OK. And this is where this is where back in the day I would always preach men. men love the crazy and this is about to be your proof pudding sauce people okay because I wake up in the tub with a text from him the next morning saying come over and obviously I do I'm like whoa Bridget put the razors back in the shower we're back baby I'm like getting dressed and like putting extra blush on like looking cute like I'm going over and all my friends are like no but honestly I was like do you want tickets to the game night they're like yes it was always just a stupid fucking game we had to play and it was fine okay and to give context like these are just the little things that I was thinking like oh it's just like a little push and pull of us.

44:28Like this is so classic us, like push and pull, like sleep in the tub, go to the penthouse in the morning. Like, and in the morning I was like, Oh, so fun. Like so dramatic. Like I didn't let it get to me. Well, I did get it, let it get to me, but like in the morning I was like fresh new day. Let's see if he'll text me. But little did I know this man was probably fully getting his fucking cake and eating it too. Like he didn't want to go home with me. He wanted to go home maybe with another girl or go home with no one. That's the way I tell myself. And then when the other girl left in the morning, I was his comfort.

45:02I was his go-to. And he wanted me to come over and fucking give me pancakes and cuddle me and watch movies with me. And I went over and I yelled at him and he apologized. And then we went on with our day. And this cycle happened over and over and over for a couple months, okay?

45:27Until I started to get stronger. Until I started to recognize that I could make some decisions that could get underneath his skin, that could make him really have to face his emotions. because as crazy as it sounds, and I know it sounds insane, I'm telling you guys, you guys, he did like me. Okay. He did like me. I will never forget. I am sitting in the dining hall and he calls me after a game and he's like, where are you? We're having a sleepover. And I'm like, oh my God, like, let me get my fucking bag. Like, I'm so excited. And he's like, no, no, no, know I want to have a sleepover at your dorm so picture me prepping all of my suite mates there's like six girls that I live with at this time I'm like hey Red Sox man is coming over for a sleepover and they're like to the dorm like to 1019 and and we're all starting to freak out I'm like yeah we're cleaning we're fucking getting the place ready and most of my friends at the time were Boston native so like they're his biggest fans they're literally at this point like calling their dads being like dad guess who I'm having a sleepover with tonight and their dads are like this is fucking cool and then their moms are like isn't that guy like in his 30s like this is concerning and they're like we're like ready we're ready we're ready like word spreads that he is coming to the dorms tonight and all of the boys on our floor are just like casually just like hanging out in the hallway just like hanging out like having a couple beers like hoping that they will see him and like hoping to get a little autograph he pulls up to my dorm room my sophomore dorm room in his aston martin he like just parks it illegally in front he's like does that place have valet i'm like i think the valet guy's like not here right now literally what the fuck i'm like trying to pretend he's blaring music everyone outside the dorm is like staring at him like what is this man doing here he walks in i will never forget and the front desk security guard isn't really paying attention like the nighttime security guards literally are like go ahead he's like give me your id if you're not like a member here just like give me your id and red could I give you my players card?

47:36And all of a sudden the security guard is like, looks up and his jaw drops because the security guard at the time is wearing a Boston Red Sox hat. So you can only imagine this guy's like, fuck my life. Fuck my life. My job is like a bunch of annoying fucking college kids that just get drunk and fucking, what the fuck is happening? He's like, Oh my God, sir. Like, yeah, no, no need for an ID. Like, yeah, like go ahead. Like, Hey, can I get a selfie with you? So I'm feeling like I have the biggest dick on campus. Okay. I'm like, ah, like redemption, redemption, all the hurt, all the hurt. It never happened.

48:05He comes up and he proceeds to sleep with me in my twin bed and my roommate who was across from us that night, like it wasn't a roommate. Like, oh, we live in a sweet spot. Like there's two twin beds in this room. I'm in one with Red Sox player, big old man. And then my roommate is like three feet away in her other twin bed. My roommate did not sleep with her pimple cream and retainers in that night, nor did I. She slept with a full beat as did I. And that day, that was really, you know, that was the day where I was like, Oh my God, he's in love with me. He's in love with me. Honestly, I could have made all of this up, but the time it felt real.

48:49And here's the thing, daddy gang. I know I always yell at you guys where I'm like, he doesn't like you. Um, yeah, well, I could have used a podcast like that back in the day. Okay. But I didn't have one. So I get a free pass. You don't anymore, though. If he treats you like this, he doesn't fucking like you. But hold on. He actually probably does. OK, so I feel like there's something to be said for this is how I felt about it. This was my first real adult relationship. Like my high school relationships had nothing on this. And I had dated a guy in college that I loved so much. But like this was my first like adult relationship.

49:25relationship. I was experiencing a lot of firsts with this man. And most importantly, he gave me my first orgasm. So was I clouded by a great O? Maybe. But it was a big deal for me. Like I had never had an orgasm in my life until I met Red Sox man. So yeah, there was like obviously like an extreme level of attachment you could say on my end though on my end. But here's where it kind of started to change once the year mark of going through the cycle of inconsistency kind of hit I knew it was time to turn the tables and finally add some other people to my roster I was too attached and I was just like getting let down too often and while it was great when I was with him it just like wasn't enough so fast forward it's summer I'm living in Boston about to go into my junior year.

50:25And it's the 4th of July weekend. And one of my soccer friends who went to Vanderbilt University was flying in for the weekend. And I wanted to show her like the best time. You guys know how that is. It's like if you went to college, it's like when you go visit a friend at college, it's like you pull out everything. You pull out all the stops. You pull out all the fun. We're going to the best parties. We're going to eat the best food. You're going to Meet all the hot guys, blah, blah, blah. And so I, at this point, have the Red Sox calendar memorized. And lucky for me, there was a game on the 4th of July.

50:58And it was a day game. Let's fucking go. So I created a plan. We're going to go to the Red Sox game. We're going to sit front row in his seats. We're going to drink. We're going to look cute. And then we are going to get in his Aston Martin. and he is going to take us to the club. That was the goal. That was the vision. That was the plan. And that's what I sold my friend, okay? The problem is Red Sox man had different plans that didn't involve me that weekend. But I wasn't aware of that just yet, okay? So I was deep in the waiting game. Every girl knows how this goes. When you are, oh, it's so fucking awful.

51:38When you are so dependent on the guy for plans, like this motherfucker, I would wait for the text. I would wait for the text I would wait for the text and I wouldn't make plans with any other people just yet because I was holding out for this man and it was all in his hands okay so finally I remember I decide on July 3rd to text him being like hey like what's your plan for the game tomorrow do you have family in town or like can I come to the game and he's like hey sorry the tickets are taken and immediately I'm like okay yeah totally like I understand but there's the players section so the players section is where all like the wives and the girlfriends and the family can sit it's like they're general admin tickets in a designated area and without a doubt there is always fucking extra tickets available in the family and friends section and in my mind I'm rationalizing I'm like all right okay okay like you know we can't get the front row like maybe the family is in town like that's totally fine family section is fine like let's fucking go and he was like my whole family is actually coming and stuff like I just don't think it's a good game to come to my stomach is now in my asshole and meanwhile I have my friend sitting on my bed like twiddling her fingers being like so what's the plan for the weekend and I'm just like shut the fuck up I'm mortified I'm literally mortified I'm like the plan the plan the plan but this was so typical like the inconsistency and it was annoying because I will say like because my friends from different schools would visit me often some friends would be lucky enough to get the royal treatment from the Red Sox man we would be out till 5 a.m with the limos and the champagne and the booze and then other times I would be like I have nothing I have no one I am worthless I have nothing.

53:28I can't provide shit. And obviously, yes, we could go to a frat party, but that's not the life I was selling them. Fly into Boston. I'll take care of the game. We'll do the thing. We'll shoot the shooters. And this was looking like it was going to be one of those goddamn weekends. And also this was one of my like most fun party friends. So I was like, I've got to show her a good time. So I immediately, I went into spiral mode because I've now had it up to here with the games. I'm like, I refuse to keep waiting for this man for my schedule to pan out all on his terms. So I start strategizing. What can plan B be?

54:09Now, remember, at this point, I'm not as dumb as I started. I had learned the importance of a roster. So I immediately tapped into the database. I recognized that the Red Sox would be playing the Astros on 4th of July. And lucky for me, I had infiltrated one of the Astros players who was so fucking hot, by the way. Okay. Long, beautiful hair, young, more my age, super cute, had always been asking, you know, when we play the Red Sox, like, let me take you out. Like, let's meet up. Let me take you on a date. And I had constantly denied him, unfortunately, because every time that he was in town, It just so happened that Red Sox man was treating me right.

54:49But this time, not so much. OK, so I start texting him and I'm like, oh, my gosh, like I saw you're going to be in town. Let's go out later. And also, do you think you get me some tickets to the game? And he's like, oh, my gosh, like, I'm so excited to see you, Alex. Like, I'm so sorry. Like, actually, we were just told for the opposing team, like everything sold out. But yes, let's definitely meet up after the game. And like, I want to take you out. And I'm like, yeah, no, no, for sure. For sure. Yeah, yeah, for sure. for sure. Let's do it. Let me know with you after. Text me after the game. But I wasn't done.

55:22I still wanted to go to that motherfucking game. I had just become obsessed with knowing who was sitting in the Red Sox man's seats. Okay. Now I needed to know who's in the seats. Who's in the seats, big boy on gold old 4th of July. Who'd you pick? Who'd you pick? And I also just wanted to show him that like, you know, I didn't need him. Okay. I could get myself to the game, but obviously buying a ticket myself was not an option. Okay. So I tapped back into the roster. I, this is kind of sad. I had this rookie picture on the red socks, kind of like lingering in the DMS. He was kind of a loser.

55:59No, you know what? I don't know that for sure. I had never met him. Okay. He never really played. And he was just kind of like, you could tell he was just like a little dorky. He honestly, probably now that I think about it was marriage material for a lovely woman, but I had no interest okay if he wasn't having a party after the games and he wasn't treating me a little inconsistent like shit what am I living for okay I don't need a husband when I'm a sophomore in college I need the thrill I need the toxic I need the emotion I need the love okay but in this moment he became my knight in shining armor okay and I finally responded to his 15th DM and I'm like, hey, happy almost fourth.

56:40And he's like, whoa, Alex, like so happy you saw my messages. And I'm like, oh my gosh, what are you doing tomorrow for the fourth? And he's like, oh, I got a game. And I'm like, no way. Really? Oh my gosh. I have a friend in town who is obsessed with baseball. Do you think there's any way that you can get us any tickets? And he's like, oh, yeah, I have two allocated to me and my, um, for family and friends section as a player. And I don't have any friends or family coming to the game. I can totally give you those two tickets. And I am like, let's mother fucking go. We love, wait, what's the thing?

57:21We did it, Joe, Joe. We did it, Joe. We got the motherfucking tickets. And I looked to my friend and I'm like, we're fucking in, we're going to the Red Sox game and we have fucking plans with the player afterwards. Let's motherfucking go. We start taking shots. We start getting ready. We're looking fucking good. And now I have the tickets to the Red Sox game from the rookie. And then I have plans with the Astros player after the game. Like, and I'll be in my prime location to stake out Red Sox man seats. And I can zoom in on my iPhone and see who's sitting in the front row. Okay. It's about to be a hell of a night.

57:50So we get to the stadium and I go to sit down in my seats, which is in the friends and family section of the Red Sox. And I'm looking around and like, I see a couple people that I recognize, you know, but I wasn't too intertwined with the friends and family and, and the girlfriends and the wise, because I, I was, I was always in his other seats. I also wasn't his fucking girlfriend. Okay. Let's be real. But like, I wasn't too familiar with these people. So I'm sitting there. I am drinking a crisp bud light. I am taking a bite of my hot dog. I'm talking to my friend. We're zooming in on Red Sox man.

58:29We're checking him out. And all of a sudden, as I'm zooming in on this man, I hear someone say, Alex. And I turned to my right and someone had just sat down in the seat directly next to me. and lo and behold it was red socks man's sister and mother now like i mentioned earlier i had met these amazing folk okay they knew me but i could kind of tell from their facial expressions that like they like knew i wasn't like invited. Like they kind of like, they like knew I wasn't supposed to be there and they knew that I must have gotten the tickets from someone else. Now, when I look back, it's even worse because I'm like, why did they know that?

59:34Like, did red socks, man, literally that morning, like, was he talking to his family that morning and being like, how tell them how I was trying to get tickets? Like, did they know something about me and the status of our relationship that Like I didn't know, you know, and I'm not going to lie. I was going to shit my pants right there in that seat. Like my entire body. I just will never forget. I felt so awkward. Like I felt like an outsider, honestly. And I felt like a fucking fraud because they had been lovely to me in every situation. But this was literally the sister was like, Alex. And I'm literally like, yeah, like what the fuck do you want?

1:00:10But then I'm like, obviously I need her to love me because this is the man of my dream. So I'm like trying to play it cool. And my friend on my left, like feels my energy and has no idea what's going on, but she can tell there's an energy shift. And she's like, what just happened? Oh, literally what just happened? What's going on? And I whisper to my friend and I'm like, we need to go. And I'm like, oh my God, you guys, it was so good to see you. Like, oh my God, I am so happy. I saw you. It's literally like the second inning. Like literally why am I leaving? And I'm like, it was so good to see you.

1:00:40Happy 4th. I get up and I leave because I'm a little bitch because I'm a fucking loser. And I couldn't honestly take the awkwardness and the uncomfortability for the entirety of the game. And honestly, like me and my friend were already drunk. We're like, oh, let's go pregame and like get ready for the night out. You know, when you do that, we're like, I hated going to sports games as much as I loved them. I wanted to like quickly run home and like do a full new beat because like I'm sitting there for like almost like four hours and I like needed to go get ready. So we like convinced ourselves it was good.

1:01:05We had to leave. But I'm like shivering to the core. I'm like, they really were like kind of like a little rude. So I'm walking out of Fenway Park and you will not believe the text that I get. It is the third inning of the Red Sox game on the 4th of July. And I get a text and I look at my phone and it's from Red Sox, man. in the middle of the game in the middle of the game this man goes into the dugout goes into the locker room gets his phone and texts me and he writes he writes alex who gave you the tickets tickets. Alex, who gave you the tickets? And I immediately feel so scared. I'm like, oh my God, like, oh my God.

1:02:04Like, what do I say? I'm like, also like poor rookie friend. Like, oh my God. Like he's a full rookie, the kid that I'm texting. I'm like, oh my God, this is like literally his first year on the team. And like Red Sox man is like the oldest veteran. Like this poor guy. Like I'm just thinking about this poor rookie is literally about to get the shit beaten out of him. And so I'm like, I can't say anything. Like I can't give up this poor guy's identity. Like I I got to lie. Like I got to think of something. But so just, I respond naturally. And I say, what are you talking about? Just gaslight them.

1:02:34I was never at that game. Who? What? Who is that? Who's there? Like I wasn't there. You're there. Who are you saying you want me to you you you have tickets for me like what and he's like stop it right now my sister sat down next to you and she knows you weren't supposed to be there so who did you get the tickets from and I'm like well it's more concerning that I saw a couple young girls in the front row in your seat huh so much for family time your family really needed those tickets huh or was a couple blondies from Boston.

1:03:17Oh, just always put it back on them. Never answer the question. And he's like, answer the fucking question, Alex, who gave you the goddamn tickets? And we start going back and forth and I'm recognizing, well, first of all, I'm recognizing like he's just texting me, which is amazing. I'm like, Oh, we're back. Maybe my friend's looking over my shoulder. they're like, he's mad. And I'm like, no, he's not mad. And we're texting the fact that we're texting. I'm like gold mine, gold mine plans for tonight, plans for tonight. I'm going to see him like things are already good that he's texting. Also, you know, when like I, Oh my God, you guys, this is so pathetic.

1:03:54But like I had at that point designated his own little ringtone for his text. So like I would get the normal text on like, I know it's like my mom or my friend, but then it was like the dun dun. Like I had done that one, like dun dun. And every time he would text me, I'd like freeze. And so whenever I was like looking for text from him, I'd turn my volume up and then it would be like, bring, bring, bring, bring. And I'd be like, so I like really got excited when I got texts from him. So anyways, started getting rise and started getting rise at him. And he's texting me in the middle of the goddamn baseball game.

1:04:28So like, I'm realizing now I'm in a position where like, he's literally chasing me down. Like he's literally obsessed with me. Like he's so annoyed that I went to the game and he's so annoyed that I'm clearly talking to someone else. This is amazing. Like this man, while he may be very infuriated, he's officially jealous. Checkmate. You care? Like, let's fucking go. I'm ready to fucking party. Like you got to have these check-in moments, ladies. Like it is so important to check the waters. Okay. Like I knew he was mad but like he kept going he's like who are you talking to like tell me who gave you the tickets like I'm gonna figure this out and now I'm really like okay I'm under his skin so I respond and I say don't worry about it I didn't need those tickets anyways I also had some seats in the away section as well motherfucker i will ruin your life and i'm picturing this man and they're like bro you're up to bat and he's like hold on this motherfucker and i'm like let's go let's go it's butter time it's butter time and now he's like oh so you're talking to someone on the astros like who are talking to on the astros and he starts spiraling and i do the one thing that needed to be done

1:05:58I ghosted him did it take every bone in my body to ghost him and to not answer that fucking text yes also did I ghost him or did my friend take my phone physically rip it out of my hand put it in her purse and say, you can't talk to him for 15 minutes. Let him sweat it out. Okay. That is also true. Okay. She's a good friend, whatever. Okay. Her taking it or me not answering. The point is same thing, same result. The motherfucker was ghosted. Okay. And the outcome for the first time ever is like, I'm ghosting him and he's blowing me up. It's an absolute victory. so later that night I responded obviously I literally was like hasn't been 15 minutes yet hasn't been 15 minutes yet I ended up going longer than 15 minutes I actually had some self-restraint and it was like you know like a couple hours because at that point I'm like let him finish the game like let him like marinate on it this is what I realized he's gonna sit at that game and just over and over and over and he's gonna look down that little fucking roster as every Astros guy has come to bat he's like is that the one is that the one is that the one And then he's also going to have to look in his camp and think who the fuck is it?

1:07:18So let him spiral as I go get ready for the fucking night out. Okay. So then I text him hours later and I asked him if he was going out. I'm like, we're friends again. And he said he wasn't. So what do I do? I went and I met up with the Astros player and my friend and I spent the night hanging out with these two gorgeous guys. they took us to a steak dinner we went to see these fireworks and it was like a pretty lovely night we end up going back to the astro players hotel room for an after party and i'm with my friend she's sitting on the bed in the hotel room with this guy and i go into the bathroom with Astro's man and we start hooking up.

1:08:04I start giving this man a blowjob and mid said blowjob, I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. Okay. And it is the hour of the night where either my friend is in the other room being like let's fucking go I hate this guy like let's leave or or in my wildest dreams it is red socks man either one is quite important like I want to be a good friend but I also am hoping for the latter so mid sucky suck penis fully in mouth I say one minute

1:08:55and I pull up my fucking phone mid blowjob penis still in mouth and there it is at this point the fucking dick falls out of my mouth because I open too wide and I'm like oh it's red socks man I have a text from red socks man on my phone that says I want you come here immediately I tap tap the penis and I say no more I stand up I levitate out the room I grab my friend I'm like I'm so sorry like something just came over me like I feel so sick all of a sudden they're all like what's going on like Alex are you okay he's like zipping up his pants and I swing the door open and I'm like yelling at my friend I'm like let's go my friend runs she grabs all of her shit and I'm like it's an emergency we must leave I call an uber I go downstairs and as we're in the uber I realize I had been sucking dick for 15 fucking minutes and all of my makeup around my mouth is gone so I'm like orange from the cheek up and just like pale ghost white from the fucking nose down and I'm also in that era of my life where like I wasn't having like the best skin and like I had a couple breakouts so my friend has this like powder.

1:10:14That's like translucent powder. That's like loose powder. And we start dousing the powder onto my face. It's all over my face. The entire thing explodes all over the Uber. I have a black dress on. It looks like I have been railing cocaine all fucking night long. So fucking classy. We arrive at his penthouse. I'm like knocking on the door. I honestly probably look like so fucking sick. I'm like literally translucent powder, like all over my face. and I'm so drunk at this point and I have shit all over my dress and he opens the door and he's like what the fuck like have you been doing drugs like what is going on little does he know like I've literally just been powdering up for my man and I'm like I'm so fucking pathetic I'm so fucking pathetic my friend hugs him she's like good night to you both and she goes off and she sleeps on the fucking couch and I get into bed with him and we cuddle until the sunrise.

1:11:06And that was my first taste of recognizing that I could have some power in this relationship. Yes, that is so sad. I get it's sad. But here's the thing. Knowing that Red Sox man was laying up stressing about me that night and he actually didn't go out, like I would say I won the battle. Now, should I have gone over? Yeah, probably not. But I got what I wanted. Right. And I knew he cared. So here's the thing. Our relationship, I would say, like definitely changed after that night for sure. He was more communicative, more invested. I didn't feel completely powerless. And I ended up pulling back, believe it or not, for my crazy obsessive ways and getting to a more like healthy place with the relationship.

1:12:05After that night, I really started to invest more time in the rest of my roster. And as much as I was having fun with all of these other guys, I will say he always had this special place in my heart because he kind of taught me everything I knew, honestly. Like, I remember I would then interact with fuck boys, like Slim Shady and all these other people, or like, and I remember just being like, this is child's play, you know? And like, I had such an understanding of the game and the way it worked and all the things, But I will never forget the day our relationship officially came to an end.

1:13:01I was in preseason for soccer. it was August and I was on Nickerson field, which is the soccer field at my school. And everyone was leaving for practice. I was sweaty. I'm walking back to the dorms with all of my teammates and we're walking down Babcock street, which is the street at BU that like all the athlete houses are on. And suddenly I get a text from my mom that said, did you see the news? And she then followed up and sent me an article with the headline that Red Sox man had officially been traded to a team across the country. And I remember tears just filled in my eyes and I sent him a text immediately and I just said his name and he called me immediately.

1:14:05I remember I sat down on a bench and all my friends were confused. They like see me crying. They're like, Cooper, like, why are you crying? Like, are you okay? And they eventually like just went into the dorms and gave me space and left me there to sit outside and talk to him. And we ended up talking for like 30 minutes. And it was weird because by the end of our relationship, it was one of those things where I think through the push and pull of everything, he ended up liking me way more than he ever thought he would have. And he was quite emotional on the phone and I was quite emotional on the phone and he was like, I want you to come visit me.

1:14:46Like this isn't the end. Like I want you to come visit me. And in my brain, I knew it was the end. Like I knew that the proximity and my life in college and his lifestyle and the parties and the clubs, like that was influencing a part of like my like love and infatuation for him. Because again, like I was in college, like I just wanted to have fun. And this guy had just like taken me on this whirlwind of a romance and it It was fun and it was exhausting and it was sad, but it was, it was like, it consumed me and it was amazing and it, and it took over my life and it took over my friends' lives and it was so fun.

1:15:22And if he's going to be across the country, I'm not doing long distance relationship also because you know, the reality is there's other athletes in the state that I hadn't really tapped into yet. You know what I mean? So it was really sad jokes aside. Um, yeah. And I could kind of tell we both knew it was over. And I kind of could tell we both knew, like, we may lightly stay in touch and wean off, but like, we had done it. You know what I mean? Like, the relationship was at that crossroads where it's like, we're not getting fucking married. I'm a fucking junior now in college. Like, we're done.

1:16:01And so I will never forget one of the last things he said to me on the phone before he said goodbye. I will never forget. But he said, Alex, you listen to me. Boston is yours. And like it oddly was such a perfect ending because he was Boston. Like I was living in his world. And this man was just like basically saying like, here are the fucking keys to the city. Like I trained you. I taught you all I fucking know. Now go fucking take it. And I know it sounds weird, but it was oddly like the most perfect ending. And what I will say is I am pretty sure a couple other Boston Red Sox athletes ended up messaging me in my career at Boston University.

1:16:55And I never ended up going back to another Red Sox player because I just wanted to leave it untouched. like in memory of him and us and like what we did, like we did enough damage there. Like I didn't want to go back and I didn't want to relive like that organization. So that was kind of the end of my Red Sox era for the rest of my time in college. And I never really went to actually, wait, that's a lie. No, that's actually a complete lie. I did go to Red Sox games, but it was for the away team. So I did hold my promise to myself. Okay. I never sat in the friends and family section again of the home team, but you bet your fucking ass.

1:17:43I was in those motherfucking away seats. Shout out to the New York Mets. Shout out to the Detroit Tigers. Shout out to the Atlanta Braves, the New York Yankees, the Miami Marlins. You know who you are. um but yeah oh my god everyone's like whore okay relax it was fun um but you guys get it okay I I fucking had a nice time but I never went back to the Red Sox and what I will say for all the naysayers okay and all the people that may have listened to this episode judging me thinking I'm a big loser desperate for a guy who didn't even like me. I am here to say I know I'm in my health and wellness era.

1:18:29I know that, okay? But there was one time that my era that I lived and breathed was toxic. And I'm here to say that the Call Her Daddy OG playbook worked for a reason. It was surefire and ironclad. And like I used to say, if you play the game, and not everyone can play the game, and not everyone wants to play the game, but if you play the game and you play it right, they will always come back. It was 2019. It was about three to four years later. I'm sitting in the Lower East Side, call her daddy exists, and I get a call from Red Sox, man. And let's just say, I was not delusional. After catching up, he ended the call by letting me know that he always loved me and he wished he could have said it back then.

1:19:42So he wanted to say it now. Bye, bitches. Okay. I fucking told you. I fucking told you. But no, I will remember like Like it was pretty, it was pretty like full circle and it felt pretty nice to be like, oh my God, like I fucking knew it. Like I'm delusional, but I'm not that fucking delusional. You guys like I fucking knew, but I will always say like, I will always have love for that time of my life and for him in my heart somewhere. Like I think he is such a nice guy and we met each other at a very odd time in both of our lives and I wouldn't take any of it back. It was fucking epic. And it was one of the best experiences I had in college.

1:20:26So coming full circle, the fact that I'm about to be back at Fenway Park, the Red Sox home, it feels right. this whole story time just has me thinking like about young Alex who was so impressionable and had no idea what her life was going to be and was just so enamored by honestly anyone who treated her well or treated her like shit but gave her nice things shout out Michael Kors because she was broke and lost and I feel I will say I just feel really excited to go into that stadium now as a complete individual who wouldn't put up with the stuff that I used to put up with, who now has this show and the daddy gang and who is fucking married and in a nice, healthy relationship.

1:21:20Like what a fucking concept. Yeah. I wish I could have told my fucking sophomore year self, college self, like, bitch, you are going to be on that motherfucking mound one day when he's retired and you're going to be throwing the first pitch at a Boston Red Sox game. So cheers to that. You don't have to fuck a player to get tickets this time, Alex. God motherfucking bless and good night. This is a testament to anyone. If you're so down right now, it always gets better. It always gets fucking better because when you're super low, You literally can't go fucking lower. Okay. So I am really excited.

1:21:58And all I hope truly now, all I hope, and let me just say this out loud so I can manifest this. All I fucking hope to God is that I make contact with that catcher. Okay. I swear to God, if I fuck this shit up, I am going to have trauma. I'm going to have a conversation with my therapist about how I ruined the one opportunity for full closure. So daddy gang, pray for me. Come party with me. I will see you next week. God bless. I love Boston so much. It really feels, it feels right. Big Al is coming home, Boston.

1:22:49Thank you.