In short
Podcast Episode Summary: Olivia Ponton: Happy Pride! (FBF)
Episode Overview In this episode, hosted by Alex Cooper, Olivia Ponton joins the conversation to discuss a variety of personal experiences, including long-distance relationships, her journey with sexuality during Pride Month, and the impact of social media on self-perception. The episode blends humor with serious discussions, making it both relatable and insightful.
Key Themes and Discussions
- Long Distance Relationships
- Experiences and Challenges:
- Olivia shares her various experiences with long-distance relationships and acknowledges the difficulties, including feelings of insecurity and the need for constant communication.
- The importance of scheduling FaceTime calls to maintain connections is emphasized.
- Advice:
- Alex suggests treating FaceTime dates like regular dates to maintain a sense of intimacy.
- Olivia expresses mixed feelings about long-distance relationships, indicating they can be hard to manage.
- Pride Month and Coming Out
- Personal Journey:
- Olivia reflects on her first year participating in the LGBTQ+ community, celebrating her bisexuality and later identifying as pansexual.
- She recounts how her family responded to her coming out, particularly her humorous approach with a shirt for her dad that read "my daughter's gay."
- Lessons Learned:
- Olivia highlights the importance of self-acceptance and the challenges of navigating stereotypes within the LGBTQ+ community.
- Impact of Social Media
- Boundaries:
- Discusses the necessity of setting boundaries on social media to protect mental health, including turning off comments that can be damaging.
- Insecurities:
- Olivia talks about the pressures of social media and how it can lead to insecurity, especially regarding body image.
- She suggests recognizing that social media often presents only the best moments of people's lives.
- Summer Plans and Advice
- Living Life to the Fullest:
- Olivia shares her excitement for the summer and her upcoming travels, including a trip to Egypt.
- Encouragement:
- Both Olivia and Alex encourage listeners to take risks and push through insecurities, particularly when trying to make new friends in unfamiliar places.
Key Takeaways
- Communication is Key: In long-distance relationships, making an effort to communicate regularly through calls and scheduled dates can help bridge the gap.
- Celebrate Your Identity: Embracing one's sexuality and being open about it can lead to greater happiness and mental clarity.
- Mindful Social Media Use: Setting boundaries on social media can help manage mental health and self-esteem.
- Take the Leap: Whether making friends or traveling, taking the first step can lead to meaningful experiences and connections.
Conclusion The episode concludes with a positive note on embracing identities and the excitement of summer, while also acknowledging the challenges of social media and relationships. Olivia's journey of self-discovery and authenticity serves as an inspiration to many listeners, particularly those navigating their own identities.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:02What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with call her daddy olivia hi welcome to color daddy it's an honor to be here so it's summer it's june 1st yes ma 'am but you grew up in florida so was it summer like all the time yeah for you like i don't know when i moved to los angeles it was even weird like i don't know like it getting cold that night i'm like what is this like i never fun fact i never owned like a sweatsuit until i moved to los angeles like I never owned sweatpants growing up like what was it where was I gonna wear sweatpants to okay so did you because I'm thinking like this is basically kicking off like the summer vibe for call her daddy did you and your family like what was your summer situation did you take trips and vacations during summer yeah like my family's like huge on travel so like each summer we would go to like a different country so I'm like very well diverse in the traveling that's like why I live traveling so much my last summer at home we literally did like a European summer trip it was a little weird like traveling with my family yeah it's like we went to like all these crazy places but I was like with my parents I was like awesome like 17 years old I'm like seeing like attractive people and I was like my mom is right there like I didn't even think about that of like when you're single and you kind of get to that age where you're traveling with your family and you're like wait I wish I was with my friends right now because I want to like go to the bars and like exactly exactly but then it's like you're with your mom and you're just like yeah my mom's like do you see anyone attractive and I'm like yeah yeah a lot of them a lot of them but I can't say anything right well I'm gonna bring them back to the hotel room with my mom my dad we're all gonna cozy up together like what the fuck exactly that's such a good point okay I like completely forgot that concept and I can feel that for you okay I need to know this because I actually feel like this tells like a lot about someone yeah are you the type of person that can like sit on the beach with a book and relax and tan and knock it up are you the person that's like guys come play paddle ball let's go in the ocean I feel like I'm like the second option like I'm always like can we go do something like there's definitely my days where I'm like okay let's literally go sit on the beach that's I don't want to talk to anyone my phone's like they're on airplane mode all day but then there's other times I'm like I literally cannot sit still I'm like can we and like in Florida like everyone has boats so you go boating you go wakeboarding you I water skied for like nine years of my life so it was like you were constantly doing something on top of like just sitting and reading like that's like a California thing I feel like that you're actually so right I feel like Florida and California are completely different and now you lived in both which do you prefer oh oh that's oh wow I've never actually been asked that question before I always get like New York versus LA New York I mean LA versus Florida I would say I love Florida like as a state like the weather wise like and kind of like my hometown's stunning you know don't really like what's going on with florida right now um and then here i mean i like the people more i like how like opening is how like i'm able to be who i am and like not get judged by anyone
3:16you were named a sports illustrated swimsuit rookie for the class of 2022 congratulations thank you how does that feel it was absolutely insane like i fell to the ground I'm like crying. I was like, no, I was like, this is not real. Like major imposter syndrome. I was like, this is not real. And then two weeks later, I literally went to Montenegro. That's where we shot it, which is like a really small place near Albania. And like you travel by yourself, like it's like a full deal. And I'm like 19 years old. So I was like, I've traveled by myself, but you know, like New York to LA, you know, like LA, New Mexico, like stuff like that, but never like a 14 hour flight like I stopped in Turkey for a little bit like no idea where I was going I was like I could really get lost right now we and you're by yourself yeah like coming back I flew back with everyone because I was the last girl to shoot but like going there like I like I can't even imagine going by myself at 19 years old to a foreign country also to prepare for like one of like the biggest moments of your career it's like yeah fucking huge I was like sitting in the airport just like where am I this is not real I was like what am I doing with my life okay so you show up and I was thinking like okay obviously I'm sure there were like so many glamorous moments of shooting this but we need to hear Olivia the not so glamorous moments like what was an unglamorous moment with you that you were like oh my god people would never anticipate yeah so it's swimsuits right so you think you're going and shooting somewhere like warm right no it was like October time.
4:55So in the place that we were, it was like 40 to 50 degrees and you're in like thong bikinis and you're like shooting in the water and it's like freezing and you're just like sitting in there and you're like shaking. Like I have so many funny photos of me. Like, you know, like when you're like in between changing and I'm like in this huge, like robe jacket situation. And that was definitely like a moment where I was like, nobody would ever guess that we're like freezing in all of these photos because when you look at them you're like oh my god like it makes me want to be on a beach yeah but I was like oh no I was freezing like I was like shaking there and like they probably have to like edit out my goosebumps because it's like so bad okay well no one can tell that you were cold in the photo so I have to give you props you're like teeth are chattering and all of a sudden you're like yeah it's like it's like you're there was the last um shot that we did I got like soaking wet and we were like on this ledge kind of situation where like water was like crashing on it but it wasn't like in the water it was kind of odd but I was like laying down in it and the sun had already set so there was like not really any sun it was like very like glistening vibes but I kid you not it was probably like 30 degrees out maybe 40 and the water was like absolutely freezing and you're just getting like splashed with water you're sitting there you're trying to be like super sexy and like so glamorous but you're like I like literally was like sitting there like trying to like roll around on this like block of cement like trying to be sexy and it was like definitely a moment where I was like I really hope this comes out well congratulations I mean it's so cool to sit with you and like hear the behind the scenes also because it's like such a cool moment also especially because you're 19 Olivia is your family like so stoked or are they my family doesn't really process anything like even the way I moved out I was just kind of like I'm gonna go to Los Angeles for two weeks and then I'll be back and then I kind of just came here and I never left how many siblings do you have I have one older sister okay blessing love her so you're like the baby that just left good for you okay well you not only are you blowing up in the modeling world but you've blown up on TikTok yes um so we're gonna play a little game okay called TikTok made me do it okay okay a trend you've tried because of TikTok emily marico's like salmon avocado have you not tried it no she did like salmon rice avocado and like the seaweed packets and then you like mix it all together and you like make your own salmon roll okay so now i need to go try it okay something you've bought because of tiktok you would think growing up in florida i've always been blonde that i would know what purple shampoo was and then I got on TikTok and I got on TikTok right when like the purple shampoo thing was a trend and I was like what is this stuff and I went and it changed my life I was like so that was definitely something I was like oh that is such a good investment it's my best friend yeah okay a random fact that you've learned from TikTok this one's weird I also don't know if it's true I heard that your wingspan is how tall you are but I'm 5 '9 and I feel like my wingspan is not five foot nine okay after this interview i'm gonna get my tape measure and we're gonna do the entire that's actually i've heard that too i think and i don't know if i believe it okay a song you've added to your playlist because of tiktok all of my music comes from tiktok first of all recently i've put this song on repeat every single day for it's probably like a week and a half now it's called like 10 things i hate about you by um leah kate i think she was just on tour with Madison Beer I think she was like the girl who opened up for her and her that song just went like insanely viral on TikTok and I like see it everyone and I'm like okay let me listen to it let me see if it's like the hype jamming in my car every day.
8:45So good. Okay somewhere you've went because of TikTok? Hawaii. Hawaii is my favorite place and I feel like Italy like I see Italy all over my for you page I want to go this summer so badly. Something you've become self-conscious of because of TikTok? Okay. Growing up, I was pretty confident. I was very independent. Once I got on TikTok, I got very insecure about like my boobs and my body because I would just get like the most just meanest comments about it. And I would just start like overthinking. I'd be like, wow, like I was like loving my body, like looking up to like models and whatnot. And I was like, why is everyone?
9:23So I, you know, created boundaries and I like turn off my comments for like a solid, like i think it was like two-ish months and then eventually i got more like secure with it have you ever responded back to like a troll and then regretted what you said not to a troll but i actually used to be exactly like that like in high school because i was so like independent like i was very much like i'm fighting for myself person so not that i was a bitch but i was like a little kind of like um like why are you talking about me like especially girls in like high school i'd be like i would confront them i'd be like why are you talking like crap about me right now so i feel like almost when I started social media, I had to like create like a boundary.
10:01I'm like, okay, like you can't respond. You know, people in my life helped me a lot with that because I'll be like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to blow up on them. And they would be like, calm down. It's okay. Talk to my therapist. And I'm like, okay. It's hard. It's like, it definitely is, takes a different level of self-restraint because you don't know the person. And so I guess that's why it's so easy for them to be mean to you because they don't know you. And then you reply back. and I've done it before where I'm like that was dumb why did I give into that yeah and I now don't do it either okay today is June 1st the first day of pride month you've been so open about your sexuality what are your plans to celebrate pride this year I just love pride month so much but I would say so last pride month I came out you know on June 1st as bisexual so I feel like kind of pride month last year was like me kind of like figuring out what it was like to be bisexual like being on social media and being like wow people are so accepting and you know like also dealing with like the not so nice people like in the streets or when you go to the parades like dealing with like you know the mean people and just being like I feel like this year I'm definitely there's um West Hollywood pride June 3rd and then there's obviously New York pride I think New York pride is better personally so definitely will be then that's so exciting for you that you can fully like lean in this year let's go back to the moment you came out right okay how did you tell your friends and family I called my mother and there was a lot of moments where I was like I'm just gonna do it like spur of moments I was like I just need to tell her like it's it's such a secret and you kind of just hold it in for months and months that you're like okay I'm gonna do this my mom was coming to visit me in two weeks and I was kind of lying to her about the relationship I was in I was you know didn't really know exactly how to be like hey mom I'm in a relationship with a female and I eventually called her up one day and was just like spit it out and like gave 20 facts about the LGBTQ community and about my relationship and she just was like okay like cool and I was like okay yeah bye and then we like didn't talk for two weeks and then she came and visited me and she was like totally okay with it and I was like oh this is awesome did she tell the rest of your family for you I'm assuming because I never told my dad um I feel like I kind of came out with my dad by like sending him um I got him a shirt that said my daughter's gay and I shifted him because it was pride month and I was like oh I feel like I should get my family like some rainbow swag and just bought him like in my daughter's gay shirt and he like sent me a picture of him like smiling with him on and I was like okay he knows like he knows like that was kind of like me coming out to him I love the not so subtle gesture is so baller you're like here you go dad if mom hasn't told you already yeah let's get into it hopefully and then my dad has always been like love whoever you want like I don't care and I was like oh cool that's amazing and was your sister same like did you yeah you're like no no I called her because this was like right when we were getting close again and I was like oh I feel like I should like call up my sister and be like hey by the way like you're probably gonna see it on social media soon so and she like screamed she was so excited for me she was like no way I'm so excited for you blah blah blah and I was like oh perfect reaction I was like thank you thank you sister that's why like I appreciate you sharing that just because I know there's probably a lot of people that could be listening that are also going through what you went through a year ago right like they haven't come out yet maybe they don't know how to do it it's so hard like you have to really figure out what works best for you like with my dad like I could I tried telling him probably like 20 times like there would be times where I'd be at home and I'd be like okay go up tell him he's sitting there he's not doing anything just tell him I was like I couldn't do it so I mean my dad had a very like funny relationship like you know it's like a lot of dad jokes so I was like I feel like that's kind of something that's funny that he would look at it and he would laugh but he would be like oh wait okay like okay like this is oh that's cute it's almost like to Kate like look at each relationship and cater like how you feel and what your relationship with them is and like feel safe in the way that you've always felt safe with like your dad it's humor yeah and with my mom it's like we're deeper so it's just kind of like me just telling her that was like she obviously knew that took a lot for me to say to her so she was like okay like okay was your mom the first person you came out to well I guess not because you had a girlfriend at the time yeah I would say like I always kind of knew and I feel like I had one best friend where we like kind of came out to each other because we were like I think I am but like I'm not sure and I'd also I was the type of person that was like I don't want to come out until I like 1000 % know that I am.
14:54Cause there's always like the possibility where it really gets down to it that you're like, oh, I don't think I could do that. And, um, so I would say them or just kind of like, I mean, my best friend right now, Emma, we like would always have conversations. We'd be like, I think that I am, but I'm not sure. Like I think. And then I met my first girlfriend and I was like, okay, I am. how did you deal with those like internal feelings of struggling to to figure it out yeah oh I was very homophobic towards myself so even when I was out I was like no I'm not like I don't know there was always like the backhand thoughts it's kind of like being insecure it's like you're confident with it but I was also like is this like is this bad like is something bad gonna happen like this isn't okay like I'd get like random comments and I'd be like really overthinking it so I would say just kind of like for me it was like I needed to be in a relationship with a female to be like okay I'm 1000 % in this I came out and like you know really realized and like so many things made sense like when I was younger I was like oh that's the feeling that I had with that person okay got it so then it kind of that's amazing to also hear like then it started to all kind of click for you but I love how you also compare it to like that insecurity feeling of like the unknown and like not knowing how to handle that I think everyone can relate to that feeling what is the biggest thing that you've learned about yourself over the past year definitely when I came out I came out as bisexual and I was in a really long-term relationship and then I got out of it and was able to experiment with all kinds of people and I mean I'm so happy but I figured out that I was pansexual and I came out with that in the past year.
16:42So I feel like that was kind of something, probably the biggest thing that I kind of realized about myself in the past year. Can you talk about, just for anyone that doesn't understand, the difference between being bisexual and pansexual? Yeah. So the difference between it is bisexual is just liking boys and girls or, you know, men and female. And with being pansexual, it's like anyone. And I would say almost with being pan for me, it's like I care more about the vibe between the two people and like the connection that we have. And, you know, it's also being open to talking to non-binary people, to be open to talking to transgender people.
17:18And I feel like for me, like I'm so open to anything. So I feel like that's just kind of when I met someone who is non-binary and I was like, oh, I really like you. I was like, OK. So I feel like it's honestly very similar. And I think when people think it's so much more common than people realize. And I think it's great when anyone is like speaks up about it because it's not their responsibility to educate us. But like it is our responsibility to listen. Yeah. Are there any pansexual celebrities that you admire? OK. Madison Bailey. She's in Outer Banks. Love her. When I found out she's pansexual, I feel like I loved her like 10 times more because I was like, yes.
17:59There's Cara Delevingne. obviously I think she's absolutely stunning and I feel like just also like with being pansexual it's like you really just don't care like with I mean with bisexual I feel like I don't really care either but it's like you really don't care like it is purely an emotional relationship when you are with dating someone who is pansexual you know before I even came out I was to the T focused on being like a male's ideal woman and I like I achieved it I was the blonde long-haired super glammed out every single day girl and you know like I had male's attention 24-7 but I was like really came down to it was all a validation thing it was like I just wanted them to call me pretty so I felt validated but it was like I didn't like them so I was like that's kind of my journey with like figuring out that I was bisexual because I was like oh like you're telling me a pretty like makes me feel really good but then I'm like I don't like kissing you I don't like doing this I'm like you're raised to be like what so which boy do you like and even aside from the sex like this sex part of it you're more just like oh so I'm supposed to like like a boy and hopefully they like me exactly and it starts with like the hopefully they like me part is really where it gets in like your brain because honestly like I think like we like women are pieces of art and we deserve for the boys to be like oh do are they going to like me back not us being like does he like me oh my gosh is he gonna text me back oh my gosh does he want to go on a second date it's like no do like you should be asking yourself that yeah and that's all that matters and I feel like that's almost like a question that I'll like start asking myself more recently it's like I'll notice about myself being like oh like why aren't they texting me back but I'll be like hold on do I even like them as a person I'm like I'll calm down and I'll be like put my phone away I'll like sit in the mirror for like 20 minutes and I'll be like I'll literally write down all the green flags all the red flags and I was like I'll come to a conclusion I'll be I probably don't like them I just crave it when you're dating it really is interesting I feel like I saw a tiktok on this recently of someone being like you're constantly looking at the person that you're on a first date second with date with and you're hoping that they're gonna like you and it's like you leave that first date did you like them yeah did you like their personality and so many people forget that that you need to like go home and be like are they the type of person that I want to spend the next years with or just like the validation exactly and I feel like attention that's something that I struggle like till this day I'll be like oh my gosh like I liked them so much kind of do they like me back and then I'll sit there and I'll be like I'll talk about it with my mom because we talk all of the time and I'll be like yeah I'm kind of like how they made me feel but I'm kind of just craving the validation right now so I'm like I need to cut things off and just stop this here I think that's very relatable okay how has being open about who you really are affected your mental health it affected it amazingly um as before I was like living in a secret kind of and I like wasn't able to like tell the people in my life like what was going on I'd be like yeah works good so I feel like when I came out it just helped it tremendously I was able to be so open about who I liked what I liked going on dates like telling people everything and I feel like also just with myself like kind of accepting it made just something in my brain click and it clicked and it made me so much happier on like the day-to-day basis okay I remember lightly seeing there were like ridiculous rumors on TikTok that you came out for attention people were saying one of your relationships was fake why do you think that happened so this is also struggles this is something that I struggle with on the day-to-day is like I'm very hyper femme and you know looking at me this is one thing that like I eventually want to change in the LGBTQ community is like being femme and being gay is a very common thing And I think it's why a lot of girls are scared to come out because they're like, oh, but I don't look the certain way.
22:08But it's like there's no certain way that you have to look like I dress like this every day. I do my makeup. I do my hair. And I'm I'm very gay. So people just also didn't want to accept it because I was catering to the men audience so much that they were just kind of almost I feel like hurt by it. And they were just like, no, you're not like you're not gay. And I was like, wait, yeah, I am. I was like, hold on. I was like this was a lot um I can assure none of my relationships have ever been fake especially because I'm very like emotionally invested in people that like when people would say it was fake I'd be like no yeah I don't even have the mental capacity to like have a have a fake relationship right now so how has being open about your sexuality affected your friendships so in my hometown it was a little hard I lost some friends there just because lack of education people just don't want to believe or they just are like wait that doesn't make sense or it comes down to like the wait were you attracted to me thing and I was like no I wasn't like just wanted to let you know that like I am in a relationship with a female or I'm bisexual or whatever it would be so I would say a little hard in my hometown but that most of it when they would would they say to you like oh are you attracted to me like did anyone ever say yeah oh fully all the time and I'd be like, I think you would know if I would be attracted to you.
23:31Like I would flirt with you or something of the sort. I'm also not one to like be attracted to somebody and not say anything. Like if I like you, like I'm going to flirt with you and I'm going to like, you know, I'm very like honed down on it. So, but in Los Angeles, like I lost no friends. Like it was kind of awesome because I even got the opportunity to make friends with other people in the LGBT community by being open about it. And just be like, oh, like it's like kind of something to bond about. I also love the confidence of you being like, you know, I'm going to own it. I'm going to give you guys another chance.
23:58I'm going to explain it to you and you can take it for what you want it to be. It's lack of education. They don't know. And it's like maybe they are too and they just don't know. And just kind of the lack of like experience as well.
24:24so in terms of relationships everyone is always writing into me like Alex give us advice on long distance relationships how the fuck do I maintain this what do I do is it worth it should I stay with this person you've had a long distance relationship how did you manage to stay close with someone who lives so far away well I've had numerous long distance relationships and it's hard like I feel like with myself every relationship I get into is long distance even my friendships all my friendships are long distance it's like it's kind of weird to say but it's like I'll go two months without seeing my friends and I'll be like love you guys like I'll I FaceTime them I think FaceTime is probably the best advice that I could give and like schedule times to FaceTime so it's not just like a oh they're not answering me it's like no we're gonna go get smoothies together via FaceTime once a week or twice a week or however much you want to like have that communication with them I feel like that would be the best I also don't strongly recommend long distance even though like I can't say that because I'm literally that would be me like Olivia remember this for the next one yeah but it's like regardless like anything with me it's like being bicoastal it's like well I could have a relationship in New York but then I come to LA and it's gonna be long distance or I go to I travel besides just New York and LA I'm constantly in different places so I feel like I don't recommend it but it's also kind of inevitable in certain situations I do appreciate though like I have did the same thing when I was somewhat long distance scheduling those FaceTime dates you naturally would be probably going on a date this Thursday night like hey let's have a date night FaceTime date exactly and schedule that time that's really good advice yeah definitely and then you guys can cook dinner on the phone together and you know like eat dinner and it's like a three-hour FaceTime call but it's like and people be like oh that's so stupid but I'm like honestly it's not because I haven't seen them in two weeks and I like want to tell them about work or whatever it would be do you think being in a long distance relationship makes it more difficult to live in the present moment 1000 % yes it's I mean I'm sure you know it's like you're constantly my screen time was like probably doubled when I was in any long distance relationship and because I'm always texting the person just being like hey like I'm thinking about you like you're at an event and I feel like at events like it's it's work so you're there and you're trying to be on your a-game but then you're like oh I haven't answered them in five hours like I need to like text them and like I even got down to the point where I was texting them probably every like 20 minutes and it was like okay Olivia get off your phone you're at work right now stop that's why those are they are so hard is because I'm thinking about it's like you can feel guilty you can feel start to feel insecure like what is the other person doing exactly because my also thing is I will like post on my social media and not answer anyone and people get so offended by that and I'm like no no no no like it's it's not I haven't even open my text yeah like all of my text messages are I haven't answered my mom today like it's it's not a personal thing it's like oh I like had to post this at this time or I'm in the car and I'm taking a selfie like I'm not answering text messages like no I'm taking a picture I'm posting my story like it's not that deep I've had in long distance when you know they're going out and you're not and you're like I'm sitting in my pajamas with my pimple cream on and you see that they're like going to the club and you want to not be like over the top because you don't want to trigger them of like oh god I have my like crazy girlfriend being like well you're gonna text me and you're at the club so you're trying to be chill but then you're also like make me feel secure exactly and I feel like that was honestly probably the hardest thing like just in like a long distance relationship in general like I've gone like months without seeing the person it's like well and I go out like a decent amount for like events and work and dinners and not being on my phone and it's like oh crap like I don't ever want them to feel insecure because they shouldn't was there anything ever you or a partner did that was like super cute to keep it fun and like surprise one another oh I personally hate surprises I've never been a surprising person I'm like no like just tell me like if you're planning on coming see me just tell me I feel like just other cute things like just like fun dates like I feel like more recently I have a rule um I will not go to dinner with someone like you want to take me on a date we are not going to dinner like let's go do something like I had this guy I told him that and I was like okay cool and he was like okay I have a crazy day plan like let's do this and I was like okay he was like um wear like athletic leisure so I was like okay maybe we're going to go work out I don't know like boxing something and I picks me up and we're in the car for maybe like 45 minutes and i'm like oh like where are we i also lived in calabasas so we were like driving further so i'm like where are we going also first date so i'm like this man could kill me yeah are you gonna die like what and all of a sudden he like looks at me and he's like we're going skydiving what i was like i'm scared of heights i you i probably should have told you this before that but i am like deathly afraid of heights to skip forward I actually ended up getting out of the car and Ubering home and I was like I never talked to him again I was like no like this is this that was kind of like the biggest red flag that like you were gonna take me skydiving to take someone skydiving on a first fucking date when you've never met in person how did you meet that person I met them because I used to live in a content house so our content house would have like events yeah so it was like an event that we were having and we just had like mutual friends and i was like oh like you're cool like and he's very like spontaneous so i was like okay like i need to date someone that's spontaneous so i was like okay cool like got it like let's do this and then he just took it too far just went right over his head like the spontaneous so you just said hey i'm not down and you just ubered back i just was kind of like can you pull up did he go skydiving i don't think so i don't know i don't i like literally like never answered him after that i was like sayonara dude okay also because you're afraid of height yeah like no i was like i'm already deadly scared of planes even as much as i am on them i'm terrified of planes so i was like the fact that you just asked me to jump out of one with you i don't even trust i don't even know you i'm like we're not even dating i'm like hold on this is it can be romantic if you're with like you're the love of your life you're like let's do this and who knows what's gonna happen it's like i don't know you yeah i was like this is a lot for me I was like to get me out of this car right now I'm not risking my life with a rando um okay so with regard to all the long distance relationships you've had did most of them end because of the long distance I feel like it would be a factor in it but like never it was never like the pure reason that I was like we're breaking up because of distance like I should have never I should have cut the relationship off when it became long distance in any relationship just because it made things way harder than it needed to be um that's why i don't recommend long distance but you know do you think there's an expiration date to like all long distance relationships i would say like max like i mean it also depends what kind of long distance you are because i know friends that live in los angeles and then like the other significant other lives in vegas and it's like that's such a quick flight back and forth they see each other like all the time but it's like also for me it's like if I were in Los Angeles and I was dating someone in New York it's like first of all different time zones also I'm kind of not just in one specific time zone I'll be like when I was in my sports illustrator like in Montenegro like I don't know the time difference the time difference I think it was like nine hours yeah and it's like I don't even talk to you the whole day because when you're sleeping I'm awake and when I'm awake you are sleeping or even when people are going to different colleges from each other and they're like should I break up with this person I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer but probably because it's like you're not going to be present yeah we're too young to not exactly in our lives that was my biggest thing it was like I was missing out on all these crazy opportunities because I was like oh no my partner won't feel comfortable with this like I'm so sorry and it's happened numerous times with numerous partners it's just kind of like a me thing that I feel like almost I need to work on um but you don't live in the present at all
32:55okay so more general dating questions do you consider flirting cheating 1000 % why are you flirting with someone else if your partner has never posted any pictures of you on social media do you consider that a red flag any foot like if they haven't posted any i think it's a red flag 1000 i also do think it's a really red flag if they're posting you a lot and like consistently um just from like my own like knowledge of like things that have happened i'm like okay know what i'd like know what i don't like so i feel like that's like moving forward i'm like yeah like don't why are you doing that too much like a camera in my face in the morning yeah like maybe not yeah okay is it okay to break up with someone through a text message yes and people are so controversial do you think do you think i wasn't expecting you to be so definitive so i know i'm just no i'm 1000 i have broken up with people over text message i have been broken up with numerous times over text message i've been broken up over an email before like i've been on instagram dms snapchat like anything that it's like i don't know i just take like any form of social media also when you're long distance it's like am i really gonna try this person on for the next like month until i see them and then break up with them like no like then that becomes messy and then there's like but maybe could you call them well yeah oh yeah like also that um right i've like called people like yeah like i've done that like that's like email the email what is the subject line of a breakup email we're sorry sorry goodbye have a nice life yeah yeah that's rough it's rough but I get what you're saying like in some circumstances it could be maybe justified I think an Instagram DM is a little aggressive Olivia well I didn't do that I just got I got broken up with over an Instagram DM and I was like this was harsh I was like okay yeah that is harsh that's really hard can you unsend it so I don't have to see it anymore okay which is worse for you a heated argument with your partner in front of a your parents okay your friends or c your people you work with oh definitely the people i work with because i feel like with my family and friends i can like justify it and be like no i swear they're a good person work people they're like we saw that uh they're done next no no no like you are not going back to this person we see their true colors we want what's best for you no I was like I kind of agree and it's kind of like embarrassing like again you can justify if like it's a dumb fight and you go to your parents you're like okay we're having an off day to the work people you work with you're like I don't even I we shouldn't even have to be having this conversation because this is work and like why are we now why did you just watch me fight with my partner like exactly not a little awkward now totally okay so you being on social media so often I think like everyone that is on social media I definitely think in the pandemic it was like kind of almost not I would never say healthy but like it was helping a lot of people with loneliness and TikTok came about because everyone was like finding almost a community through there now I think a lot of people are back to talking about the negative effects of social media and there's a lot of like detrimental things to our mental health that come from it can you talk about the boundaries that you personally have had to set for yourself with social media I started using the feature on your phone where it's like the do not disturb where you get like zero notifications it's awesome it's so good people hate me because I don't answer but I'm like like I'll and you don't even get phone calls like my phone is like not buzzing at all I'm like this is awesome like I'm not I've not nobody's trying to contact me all of a sudden I look at my phone there's like 20 missed calls I'm like damn dang it so I feel like boundaries wise I mean even when I turned off my comment section for that time because I couldn't read people making fun of my body anymore and I feel like just it came down to a point where I now have like very strong boundaries with me on social media and certain things I'll talk about and like bring up and be like hey that wasn't cool but kind of just like genuinely doing that yeah I think I mean I don't have my comment section on anymore and I think like a lot of people still to this day are like oh you can't take the heat and I'm like it's actually not it was actually that I I well I yeah it was hurting my feelings yeah that it I were just like it wasn't helping my life so I turned them off and now I think I've gotten to the point where I'm like why yeah why would I like go back because I don't really want to hear and I do love when people are so nice and they're like oh open your comments so we can like hype you up like you look great but I'm like you know what it's like the negative validate or the negative comments like also sometimes how much positive validation we get on the internet is not normal also yeah so kind of like I think it was probably a good idea for a moment to like step back if it's fully fully fully what is your advice for people who are bombarded with images on social media that make them feel bad about themselves I was literally talking like I was dealing with this two mornings ago it was I mean I feel like every morning I wake up and I like scroll through my Instagram I'm like oh what's going on and I feel like I get bombarded I mean I follow all the amazing models and like don't get me wrong love women literally love women but sometimes it like really messes with your head because you're like oh like like you were talking about like oh my stomach doesn't look like that oh my boobs don't look like that oh like they're working out right now oh my gosh I haven't worked out today like I need to go work out things like that and I feel like my advice would to be social media that one picture is literally so constructed it's by a really good photographer you have your hair done you have your makeup done you have your nails done that's not what I look like 24 7 even right now I look like this maybe like a like I don't even know how like not that often like I was doing my makeup and I was like wow I haven't put like a face of makeup on in like a few weeks I'm like this is weird but just kind of like people present themselves as like the best possible version of themselves so I feel like on social media you just gotta remind yourself like okay this was a split second on one time of their day it's not real yeah everyone is going to present their perfect life and even think if you have an insecurity think about yourself what did you just post yeah a perfect looking exactly like that's like even the part that messes with my head because I'm like I'm doing the same thing I'm falling in the trap I'm posting these beautiful photos that I get back and I'm like oh my gosh I'm so excited to post this but it's probably detrimental to like other people and I'm like so I get in my head about it I'm like I don't want like I'm kind of on like a boycotting Instagram right now because I don't want to fall into that even though I like very much I'm guilty of already doing it but yeah it's like a vicious cycle like I don't post as much as I used to definitely because I keep having to remind myself like wait why am I posting this again like what who is this for yeah like what's the point of this yeah so summer like I said wrapping it up summer is upon us Olivia do you have advice for women that are just like trying to go live their best life in summer but maybe are feeling a little insecure or feeling like they're not ready to like get out there and like live their best life because they're they're seeing things on social media and they're like I can't live up to that I mean I feel like honestly my biggest thing is like just do it I've even noticed when I first moved to New York I had zero friends I knew nobody besides my agent and I was in like this pickle for like an awkward three months because I didn't know anyone and I was like I have no friends I'm nervous to do anything and then I just started like doing stuff and I would go to the gym and I would walk and go get coffee and I would like honestly go to Central Park and like walk around and it's like just you'll be at the hot dog stand and you'll see the girl right next to you and she looks cool and I'm like hey like what's up like my name is Olivia and it's kind of like that situation it's way easier than people process and yes it's very anxiety filled but once you kind of like turn it as in especially New York City like that's I think that's great advice so many women right and being like I'm in a new city how do I make friends and like the fact that you're like yeah you literally just turn someone like hey I'm Olivia like yeah you're kind of right like a lot of these cities specifically like I know people have moved to Austin Nashville like so many people are moving to these cities Chicago and they're like uh got no friends like but you're we're all saying it so just maybe try and introduce yourself and see what happens i'm so excited for summer like i'm going to egypt i'm like olivia's going to egypt and i'm gonna be on my couch watching your instagram stories no you have not i'm so excited for you honestly congratulations on everything like thank you getting that swimsuit like it's just truly like i grew up looking at that oh me too i don't believe it so i'm like wait i saw myself and i was like that's nope that's not me that's not me but i'm I'm like have it in my I printed it out in like the huge form and I put it in my apartment so like I can look at it and be like that is me.
41:44Damn. Remember that Olivia. Yes. Happy Pride Month. Thank you Olivia for coming on. Thank you for having me.
From the publisher
Welcome to the first episode of the CHD Summer Series. This week, Father Cooper sits down with Olivia Ponton. Alex and Olivia discuss their personal experience with long distance relationships…are they ever a good idea? Is it possible to live in the present while being in a long distance relationship? Summer has officially arrived and Pride Month has begun! Olivia reflects back on her first year of openly being a part of the LGBTQ+ community and shares what she has learned about herself along the way. The girls discuss their plans for summer, social media boundaries and Olivia dishes on a sky diving first date gone horribly wrong. Enjoy!
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