Stuck in a Situationship

30 Jul 2023 · 37 min

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In short

Podcast Episode Notes: Call Her Daddy - "Stuck in a Situationship"

Episode Overview In this episode of *Call Her Daddy*, Alex Cooper provides a lively life update, discusses the complexities of "situationships," and offers advice on navigating toxic relationships, STDs, and the dating scene.

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Key Themes and Discussions

Life Update

  • Summer Travels:
  • Alex shares highlights from her summer, including a trip to Sweden for a Spotify event and a subsequent visit to Cannes.
  • Expresses excitement about experiencing Swedish culture and cuisine, specifically craving Swedish meatballs.
  • Business Ventures:
  • Announces the launch of a new media company called *Trending*, which will encompass *Call Her Daddy* and a film company.
  • Mentions the goal of signing and mentoring new talent for podcasting.

Situationships

  • Definition & Challenges:
  • Situationships are described as ambiguous relationships that may not lead to commitment.
  • Alex highlights a listener's experience with consistently encountering non-serious partners in her early 20s.
  • Advice:
  • Encourage self-awareness when choosing partners and recognizing patterns that lead to repeating situationships.
  • Suggests being more intentional in dating, looking for signs of serious interest, and being cautious about emotional attachment.

Navigating Toxic Relationships

  • Trust Issues:
  • Discusses the importance of trust in relationships, emphasizing that if trust is broken (e.g., keeping explicit photos), it could indicate deeper issues.
  • Gaslighting & Manipulation:
  • Addresses the dangers of staying in toxic situations, detailing how manipulative behaviors can create a cycle of dysfunction.

Discussing STDs

  • Personal Anecdote:
  • Alex shares a heartfelt response to a listener who contracted an STD from her partner, discussing the emotional turmoil involved.
  • Advice for Dating:
  • Encourages open communication when the time is right, but emphasizes that it is not necessary to disclose one's status immediately.
  • Suggests focusing on establishing a connection before discussing health matters, advocating for honesty when the relationship progresses.

Closing Remarks

  • Encouragement to Listeners:
  • Alex wraps up the episode with encouragement to prioritize self-worth and pursue healthy relationships.
  • Reminds listeners that experiences like STDs do not define them and promotes a supportive community among listeners.

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Key Takeaways

  • Intentional Dating: Approach dating with awareness of what you want and the types of relationships you are entering.
  • Trust is Fundamental: If trust is compromised in a relationship, it may be time to reassess its viability.
  • Navigating Difficult Conversations: It’s okay to take your time before discussing sensitive topics, but honesty is crucial when the relationship deepens.
  • Self-Worth Matters: Recognize your value and prioritize emotional health over toxic cycles.

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Conclusion This episode of *Call Her Daddy* not only addresses the lighter aspects of dating and relationships but also delves deep into the emotional and psychological challenges faced by many in modern dating. Alex's candidness and relatable stories offer listeners both entertainment and valuable life lessons.

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Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

0:02What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy. Hello, hello. It's me. It's you, Daddy Gang. It's me, your founding father, back at it again for another episode of Call Her Daddy. Hi, everyone. I'm going to give you a little life update. So the summer has been really fun and a little chaotic. A lot of work going on. I went to Sweden. Hello. I had never been to Sweden. I went for a Spotify work event. And let me just tell you, something in the air in Sweden. It is a phenomenal place. But I had my eye on just one thing that I wanted to do in Sweden. And it was to get myself some Swedish meatballs.

0:57meatballs why did I want smoothish meatballs I grew up and I loved Ikea who didn't love Ikea and I still love Ikea to this day but Ikea back in the day really held a special place in my heart because Ikea and I we were like thick as thieves Ikea and I built worlds together when I was younger I was obsessed with building things and all my friends had the nicest closets growing up and I was so fucking jealous of them. And I hated my closet because it had nothing to it. And it was small and it was just rinky dinky. And so I asked my mom one day, mom, can you drive me down to King of Prussia where I can go to Ikea?

1:38And she brought me down because she was like, yeah, I want to get the Swedish meatballs. You know, the Cooper family loves Swedish meatballs. So I drive down to Ikea and I mean, I was like a frequent, I had like a membership there. Like I was in the in club, You know how there's Sam's Club? I had the Ikea Club membership, okay? I was there every fucking week building something new. I literally built my family's dining room table back in the day, okay? And that is not a joke. I can call my mom right now and let you guys know that I built, I built my family's dining room table. Why, you may ask?

2:13I don't know. I really liked it. Every time my mom would be like, Alex, she's like, I don't want you to do the labor if you don't want to do it. Like we can try to hire someone through Ikea to come to our, nope, I want to build. So I did build my family's dining room table. I also built these two like club chairs in our living room. And what I would do is I would do it while my parents were sleeping so that they would wake up and in the morning I could do a big reveal. I don't know what the fuck I was up to over there, but I really liked it. So anyways, the point is not that I'm quite literally in the construction field.

2:49The point is that I loved going to Ikea just as much for the Swedish meatballs than I did to acquire wood and build my family a home. Okay. And so I have never been to Sweden. And that's the cool thing about this job is like big house traveling, you know, I'm up and about, I'm getting to go places that I've never been and I love it. And so I get to Sweden and the one thing I wanted to fucking do was try the goddamn Swedish meatballs because if they're that good in America at Ikea fucking jizz all over me I can't even wait to put that ball in my mouth and pop it in and have the time of my life and so once I got there quite literally the only thing I inhaled was Swedish meatballs so shout out to all my Swedes I love you and I love how you make those balls.

3:42So the next leg of my trip was going to Cannes, which is in the south of France. And I was very excited because I was alone in Sweden. And then Matt was going to meet me in Cannes. We were going there because we just launched a new company together. It is a media company called Trending, which Call Her Daddy and his film company now live underneath Trending. And so I'm still with Spotify. Like he still has his film output deals or whatever. But like, we're basically just combining forces and going to start building more things together. So what does that mean? Right? There's going to be films and television shows and reality shows and a podcast network that I'm going to be announcing probably this week or next week.

4:34I'm really just looking forward to signing more talent that I'm going to help mentor and help them with podcasting. So I'm signing certain talent that I believe in. And I will say that is something that was painful. Like I see you daddy gang in my DMs asking me to have certain people on the podcast. And I haven't been able to be like, I'm not having them on yet because we're doing something so much bigger and we're going to launch their show. and obviously they'll come on call her daddy but there's something much bigger cooking so I'm just really excited to expand my business which is very exciting but also nerve wracking and I just hope daddy gang if any of you are whether you're trying to make a jump in your work life or you're having change coming or you're even trying to start a business yourself it's a lot of fucking work but it's so rewarding and I just wanted to remind you if you needed a little reminder keep going You're not alone.

5:30It is a motherfucker at times and your whole life becomes work in moments, but it's so rewarding when you see everything that you put time and energy and strategy and money into come to life. So this is your sign. Keep doing what you're doing, daddy gang. It is going to work out. I believe in you. You have to believe in yourself. Okay, sorry, getting corny, but like it's a lot of fucking work. And I know obviously some of you are probably listening being like, Alex, you got your bag already. I'm launching my company and I haven't even made my first sale yet. And daddy gang to that, I would like to remind you that when I first told people about my original idea for call her daddy, almost every single person laughed in my face and said, I was crazy.

6:15I was going to ruin my, not only my reputation, but my family's reputation. And then it wasn't going to work. So keep working and grinding because you got to believe in yourself, especially when people are looking at you like a bitch, you fucking crazy. No, you're not. You know what you're doing, daddy gang. So the next part of my trip was returning home. I went back to Pennsylvania. Okay. The good old PA, Newtown, Pennsylvania, where I was born and bred and raised. And I interviewed Zane. let me just explain something to you guys interviewing zane in my childhood home was i would say one of like the top craziest experiences for me in my career so far because i have told you guys this like i was such a little nerd i was obsessed with making videos when i was younger i was so obsessed with editing and i would do all of this in that house in pennsylvania and And so the mind fuck that it was that I had someone that I had a poster of at one point, probably on my wall was walking into my home.

7:26I think what it hit me was I have this like glass door at my front door and I walked up to greet him and I was standing inside and I see him like walking up the little pathway at my house and seeing Zayn Malik walk up my fucking house as if it's like, hey, coming over for a slumber part. Like it felt like the only people that have ever walked up that little path are like my friends, Kristen, Jackie, Lauren, Courtney, Christine, Kelly, like what the fuck? And then all of a sudden it's Zayn Malik. It's like if you saw your dentist at the movie theater while you're in line getting fucking popcorn and you're like Dr.

8:06Sherrard, Dr. Goutradi, Like, what are you doing here? Like, I saw you the other week while you filled my fucking cavity. And now Dr. Guthrani is about to go see Barbie with you. You know what I mean? Like, it's a little bit too much of a mind fuck. And so when I saw Zane trouncing into my home, I'm realizing I actually didn't feel at all like how I would feel if I saw my dentist in a public space. that was probably the worst fucking analogy. Everyone's like, I actually wouldn't care if I saw my dentist hitting the town on a Friday, Alex going to see a fucking movie with his wife. Yeah, that was bad because obviously you would care if you saw Zane.

8:47So do you know what I mean, though? It's just like, whoa, I'm used to one thing walking into my childhood home and a fucking celebrity is walking in and I just had a geek out moment. And I know I don't really talk about the behind the scenes of how I feel in interviews anymore. But just so you know, it is not lost on me. It's a really fucking cool job. And I'm so grateful. And I almost shit my fucking pants when I saw him walking up and it was fucking fabulous. And I'm just so happy that he showed up and it was a good interview. And I'm so happy you guys enjoyed the episode. And then after that interview, immediately the next day, I got on a plane and I went to Nantucket for two weeks with Matt and the boys and by boys I mean our dogs Henry and Bruce yes I am that dog mother that acts like I have two children at this point but they fucking are and they're perfect okay I know I used to be like why do people post their dogs at the time now I'm the woman that's like I'm obsessed with my dogs you have to love them too because I love them so much um but Nantucket was amazing it was so relaxing we were just chilling on the beach and drinking and hanging out with our friends And I personally was on a mission to see how many lobster rolls I could physically consume in two weeks, which I would say I had one every single day, if not two to three a day.

10:01It was fabulous. Nothing better. But overall, it was really just a nice break and a good recharge that I needed. Because then after that, I was immediately back to work because, Daddy Gang, you said you needed another episode. And I got to deliver, OK? What the Daddy Gang needs, the Daddy Gang gets. So here we are. We're back, baby.

10:40All right, all right, all right. All right. I am going to answer some of your questions, daddy gang because you've got something on your mind and I want to try to be a fellow friend a father figure and see if anything that I've learned through life can be of help to you so someone wrote in and said situationships not leading to anything I'm in my early 20s and I've been finding myself in the same pattern of talking dating someone for a couple months but it never going further because the guy ultimately decides he's not ready for something serious. My question is, what can a girl do in these times to avoid repeating patterns?

11:24Or is the situation ship a thing that's going to stick around for a while? Okay. So my experience in my early 20s. Well, it's hard to answer this because I guess it also is really dependent on the guys that you're picking. But what I would say is, I feel like the hard truth is in your early 20s. I don't think people are interested in engaging in actual committed, serious relationships, unless they have some type of feeling that you could be the one or vice versa, if you really feel it. And so I think a lot of early 20s is making mistakes and having situationships and dating fuck boys and crying in your room and wishing you didn't do something and then realizing through your experiences by a certain age that you're feeling now more mature and more sure of what you want, then being like, okay, I actually have gone through so many experiences to the point where I am so sure of what I want.

12:26I think if you are feeling like you know what you're looking for, I would say there are people that give you a different vibe. There are guys that are going to treat you differently than just let's say taking you out to a bar with his friends on a Friday guys that are serious that want to take you on a date that want to go on little weekend getaways that want to be sweet or send you flowers or are being thoughtful calling you at night calling you in the morning texting you like again the communication level can be dependent on the type of person they don't need to be overly communicating for them to show they're interested but I feel like you have to wake up a little bit because sometimes I feel like when I look back at myself I was so bad at following the same pattern like as much as I would get out of a situation with a guy and be like he was so fucking annoying or like I ended that because this is this then all of a sudden halfway through my next situation ship I'd be like he's exactly like the other one what the fuck am I doing?

13:30What did I expect? I think we go to things that are familiar that we've been doing for a while. And I think in situationships, we are attracted to the beginning stages that actually, if you look at it, you're like, no shit, this ended in it not being serious. Cause it kind of did start like a little fuck boyish, a little, like we're getting fucked up at the bar. We are like always drunk when we're together. Then I expected it to elevate from there. Not saying it can't because I know a lot of my friends are with people that it started as a one night stand and now they're fucking married. But I do think if you are more cognizant and intentional about the way that you're moving, then you're going to attract different energy.

14:11So you getting into situationships and then continuously feeling like there's this repeating pattern that you're getting left in the dust, you have to take a little bit of a look inward and be like, are you missing any signs like have you met this guy's family like are you with his friends all the time has he wanted to meet your friends like how much are you intertwining your lives and then start to work backwards from there um but honestly dude like situationships are motherfuckers like it's so annoying because you you can get wrapped up in like oh my god it started like it wasn't supposed to be something but now I caught feelings the issue is if the other person doesn't feel that way.

14:53And I would just say, you kind of have to just start to be a little bit more aware of what kind of energy you're giving to the person and what you're getting back. Obviously, there's going to be situations where a guy is going to fucking just rip the rug out from under you. And you're like, bitch, you just love me last week. And now you're ghosting me like that is going to happen. but I don't know like I remember when I met Matt I just felt a different energy on our first date night like he was not so serious to the point where I was like this isn't fun but like he was very certain and talking about things not in a way that overwhelmed me but like talking about what he wants in life and like what he likes in a partner and I was like oh like why would he be sharing this with me if not to tell me like I'm interested like do our worlds kind of align um you can just kind of tell sometimes so I would just say babe take off those rose colored glasses let's start looking at them for who they are stop focusing so much on like the thrill of the nights out and the sex and the whatever if you're actually looking for something serious you need to be looking at the serious signs that he's giving you instead of halfway through a situationship waking up and being like, but I want something serious, but he literally only invites you over at nighttime.

16:13Or he literally never texts you, you text him all the time. Or you guys do go out, but you've never met anyone in his life and you have fun with him, but like he's never talking serious with you. You got to wake up to certain things and then go from there and don't be shocked when someone ends something when it really hadn't even begun. And you can't change your mind in the middle of it and expect them to move the same with you. If you catch feelings, then you kind going to have to just work a little bit differently of like, I wonder if this person's interested and maybe stop going out at nighttime and be like, no, let's get breakfast tomorrow instead.

16:45I'll see you like, tell me about your night that you kind of just have to adjust the way that you approach things. But I hear you. Situationships are so fun in the beginning and then they get so complicated and I, I feel you daddy. I've been in many myself. Okay. Guys keeping nudes for context. Next, I broke up with my boyfriend in January and then we got back together a few months later. We're long distance. He said in the past he'd definitely delete my nudes if we ever broke up. And when we did, I explicitly asked him to delete them again. Fast forward to when we see each other again months later, I saw he emailed himself some of the most explicit ones.

17:27And I found all of them in his recently deleted on his photo vault app. I'm still pretty pissed but know he'd have an issue with me snooping and I'm not quite bothered enough that I'd break up with him over it But I haven't sent him a single nude sense as I don't trust him anymore I really want to bring it up and call him out for thinking he's slick But don't know whether or not to just sit on it and keep it as ammo for the future Also, he got super pissed at me when I tried to start an OnlyFans and then I found also when I was snooping that he created a fake email and he started to try to download OnlyFans content I don't know what to do I really like him but is this all toxic yes I so relate to this like let me be so clear I remember dating a guy and we broke up and I knew he had my nudes and I just didn't fucking trust him.

18:26And that should have been the first fucking sign that the breakup should have been a full breakup never to get back together. If you cannot trust someone that you're with, with something that is one of the most intimate, private things that you have shared with this person, this is not the person for you. Okay, daddy gang. And I understand again, I'm saying this from a point of view where like, I used to put up with this shit and I trust me I was going through it and now in hindsight because I've gone through now healthy relationships I'm like what the fuck was I doing I get it we all need to go through it but if you want any advice from me it's like listen this is the type of person from what I'm reading you are gonna go back and forth with this person you're gonna break up you're gonna make up you're gonna have breakup sex you're gonna get back together you're gonna cheat he's gonna like someone's going to always be fucking the other one over because if you can't fucking trust this person and he's blowing up at you for starting an OnlyFans, but then he's secretly making, think of a man.

19:29Okay. Men are so fucking lazy until they don't want to be. He is making a concerted effort to make a fucking fake email. Okay. Boys don't even have, I feel like half the fucking men don't even know how to do that. Okay. But he's fucking making his way to make a fake email to buy only fans content or subscriptions or whatever the fuck he's doing. And then he's going and deleting like this motherfucker has a vault app. This guy is so fucking calculated in the way that he moves to make sure that all of his sneakiness and his infidelity and him being a piece of shit are covered. His tracks are covered so he can gaslight you because the only way that you can fucking find the shit out is if you snoop.

20:14Obviously, why are you snooping? Because your gut is telling you that you don't trust this motherfucker. I can't say it enough, daddy gang. Like we all have to go through the classic like fuck boy that you're just like, no, but like maybe or even we like the toxic. There's so many reasons we stay. But if you're actually wanting to have a peaceful, nice relationship life, this ain't the guy for you. I have felt it, the insecurity, the paranoia, the games. It just gets so old that like I'm reading this paragraph and I'm like, I know exactly how this is going to end. you can't be with someone that you don't trust that you're snooping that they're lying that they're being controlling over you how about that being so fucking controlling and the disrespect you're asking this person to delete your nudes and it's like the sneakiness at which this guy is moving I wouldn't fucking trust this guy for two fucking seconds I think another takeaway is this person has showed you their comfortability and capacity to lie.

21:29And that is fucking terrifying. And I think even like a bigger teaching moment, daddy gang, maybe you aren't catching your partner lying about nudes or OnlyFans and you can't relate to that specificity. But how about this? Maybe they have been lying about some like weird little things that you're picking up on, but you kind of glaze over it because it hasn't really turned into something important or you haven't found anything let me be so clear that is a red flag someone's straight up lying to your face and making you question your own version of things or your own reality that is called gaslighting and that is manipulation 101 so even if you're like well he did lie about that but like I don't know why but like what no if someone's lying to your face there's more underneath that and you have to fucking wake up and try to recognize this ain't healthy my other problem is and I damn I was fucking awful at this but like toxic attracts toxic by me being involved with toxic guys in the past I eventually became toxic with it and would like play the game back and want to one up them and blah blah blah and it was like am I having fun or I am just constantly in a stressed state playing a fucking game that I know I'm never going to win because I don't actually I'm not enjoying this because the end goal is I wanted them to change.

22:51I actually wanted this guy to change and he wasn't going to. So in me just like quickly wanting to play into the toxic games, I just ended up getting hurt more because I went down a farther rabbit hole that ended up fucking me in the end. I love you. I just think sometimes you have to know when your self-worth needs to be a bigger priority rather than trying to find a way to make something that's so obviously toxic work. and okay one last thought I know I kind of mentioned like I started to be toxic because the situation was toxic but I do want to just hone that point in a little bit more because now I'm realizing like I started to become toxic myself and it became the norm in the relationship and I feel like if you're listening to this and you're getting to that point like you start taking on toxic behaviors without even being fully aware of it which is pretty fucking scary and yeah when I look back I'm like it's essentially how you learn to survive in the relationship like you're trying to keep up with his bullshit and you start snooping and you're reading text and you're checking their location and it's all a defense mechanism to look out for yourself but daddy gang eventually when this relationship ends you're gonna bring all this fucking toxic baggage shit into the next relationship and that is not how you want to start your next relationship so my advice because I it took me so fucking long like I even still had to work on it when I met Matt my fiance you basically got to unlearn that shit because you might end up pushing the next one away that you're actually supposed to be with and you want to be with but you're so heavily in the toxic cycle, you got to wake up and check yourself and make sure like the next one has to be on you to make sure you undo that shit.

24:47So my advice is get out when you can, because the longer it goes on, the more familiar and comfortable and normalized it becomes. And I was the queen of that. And it was not fun when I started to look back and recognize all of it. We all got to go through it, but don't go through it too hard that you wake up one day and you're like, God damn, I've never had a healthy situation at one point it ends up being on you to to change

25:31okay navigating the world with an std my ex-boyfriend gave me an std Please help. I dated a guy for over two years and found out, not from him, that his ex had HSV2, which is herpes. I confronted him about it and he swore he had been tested and that's why he never told me. I didn't trust him since we've had many conversations about safe sex, STDs, and he never mentioned it before. So I forced him to get retested. He ended up testing positive and then I got tested and tested positive as well. I broke up with him over it. However, now I'm terrified to try to re-enter the dating pool due to the diagnosis.

26:14I'm about to turn 31 and have had four serious real relationships and only slept with five people in my entire life. I feel like I've done everything in my power to be safe and still ended up in this position. How do I move forward? I'm looking to settle down, get married and start a family, but I can't help but feel like this may have just jeopardized my future. please help okay the first thing I want to say is I'm so sorry that your partner was not honest with you I I like can't imagine dating someone and then having to find this out also not even from him from someone else and then you having to push him to get tested um I also just want to pause because it's never fucking right to not tell your partner.

26:58My only, my only thing is like, I think there's just such a conversation that needs to continue to be had about, I'm not saying normalize STDs, but so many fucking people, me included, are having unprotected sex, right? And there are some people that get fucking lucky and there are some people that get what comes with, you know, not having protected sex. And even sometimes if you have protected sex, some fucking times you can still get an STD. Okay. You are not damaged goods. You are not less of a human being because you have an STD and you should not feel like you cannot have a happy, healthy life because of this situation that has been essentially given to you by someone that you trusted.

27:52I'm not saying that herpes is not something now that you need to be very honest about when you're dating someone. But I just want to start with that. Like so many fucking people are dealing with this and I bet so many people wish they could have someone to connect over and talk about it with because it's probably so fucking isolating and lonely and I am so sorry. but you are not less than because of this so first and foremost anyone that has an STD that's listening to this like do not do not let yourself not enjoy your life because of this there are ways that you will be okay with this and I get it the dating world is so fucking awkward in itself to even be like trying to figure out how to like the the dating world is already complicated enough to then add in being like, hi, I have an SED.

28:41It's a lot. What I will say is this. I think that you need to date with your happiness and personality and your strengths in mind. Okay. So when you're going on a date, and I know this is probably hard, but when you start to date people, let's move forward with like, you don't need to sleep with this person at all right away. Okay. You are just trying to figure out if you like this person enough because what I don't want for you is like the fucking trauma of having to on first dates be like just by the way like I have herpes you don't need to do that and that is not you being secretive that's not you being disrespectful or untrustworthy that is not that person's information to need to know yet because you are making the decision to not have sex with them I think as you start let's say you start to date someone and now you're on your fifth date and you know they're kind of making moves and you know you're making out and obviously depending on the type of herpes you have like you're able to make out with them and and um and then all of a sudden the the conversation in your mind is like sex is clearly being is the next step for us like we want to have sex together I think that you can always be honest but this is partially being honest just being like I'm really a slow burn like I always want to make sure that I really like someone before like I'm super physical with them whatever.

30:03The first step is, is there a fucking guy that you're sitting across from that is like, can I be so honest? That is so fine. I love being in your presence. I love hanging out with you. It is all good. The first step is to find someone that actually fucking likes you for you. Okay. And you build a rapport with someone that you can actually feel comfortable talking to. It's too much fucking pressure on yourself to feel like date three, you have to tell this person. Absolutely not. Now, is it going to hinder you from being able to have maybe a one night stand? Yes. And I apologize that that is now the situation.

30:36But I'm telling you, this could also like it seems like you're saying, you know, you've only had a couple relationships in your life, your relationship girl. So let's play the long game. Start dating someone start to make sure that you like them. Obviously, sex is a huge part of a relationship. And once you start to really figure out if you like this person, and I'm saying like date fucking 10, I'm saying like, two months in, you know, like you've been going and then finally this person's like babe like when are we fucking that is when I think you have the conversation and I think you do it in a situation where you feel comfortable whether you have this person over and they've been at your apartment or your house or wherever you live and you have um you know you're having a dinner in and you bring it up and I I let me try to think of this but in my mind if I quickly had to be like what would I say let's say the guy's name is John okay hi John Johnny I would say John I have something I want to talk to you about and I will admit I've been so nervous to talk to you because it's probably my biggest insecurity and I could cry thinking about it because I don't want you to like me less when I tell you this, but I also know I need to tell you this because you deserve to know.

31:57And it also is important for us to have a conversation about. And he's going to be like, oh my God, what the fuck? Like what's going on? Obviously. But this is a serious conversation, but you need to hold your ground and just be honest with this person again. Like you would have liked the honesty. And then you're going to say, a few years ago, I was in a relationship with someone and it was a long-term relationship I've only slept with. I mean, you could be honest if you want. I probably would just say this because like, why not be fucking honest? Like this was a fucked up situation. And it doesn't, even if you've fucked everyone, like I would just say I was in a relationship with someone.

32:36I have not been in a relationship with that many people in my life. And this person lied to me and I broke up with them because I found out that they gave me herpes and it's something that I have had to live with since then and I am so embarrassed and upset because I don't really know how to navigate this I'm going to be honest with you and the only reason I'm telling you this is because I feel like we've gotten close enough where you won't judge me and I hope you don't and I don't know I need to be honest with you because of course I want to be intimate with you and and I wanted to tell you earlier but I also wanted to make sure that this is something that both of us are even interested in because this is really hard for me to talk about this is not something that I can just casually bring up on a whim in a text or over drinks with our friends like this is now my life and I'm sharing this with you because because I do really like you and I do trust you and I'm not expecting you to immediately answer like I know this is probably a lot for you you can take your time you can think about it I just ask that like you don't immediately shut the door on me because this yes is something that happened to me and that I have but this does not define who I am and I just I would love to be able to continue to see you but I completely understand if you need time to think or whatever I don't know if I just did that correctly I just kind of winged that and like again I want everyone to know you can do however you want you could be like bitch I fucking herpes like you in or you out like you know what I mean it depends on your personality but it feels like you're someone that's really overthinking this and I think this is the telling part for you you need to be with someone regardless that respects you and I understand that this is something that like you now are going to have for the rest of your life but you also want someone that wants to be with you for the rest of your life.

34:35And so it's like, is there a way that you can find someone that's like, you know what, let's look into it. Let's make sure like, how can we be safe? Like, but at the end of the day, I love you for you. This doesn't define who you are. Of course, there's certain things with your sex life that you're going to have to have conversations about. But again, I apologized. Anyone that has had to get an STD, you know, I have talked about having gotten something in college and being so just like, what the fuck? Like, there's just so many feelings that come with it. And, and I, I'm so sorry. And so if you end up having a conversation, one point, please write back in and, and give us, you know, your wisdom and your advice of how it went and, and what did it happen?

35:18But just know, daddy, I love you and you're not alone. And, and you've got this, and this is not, this is not the end of the world. I think society makes it feel like it is and again I'm not trying to downplay STDs but we also have to stand up for people that this was not your choice this is something that happened to you and then I can see people being assholes being like it was her choice she didn't wear a condom listen neither are you Becky shut the fuck up like all of us are taking a chance when we're having sex again like I said even fucking people that had use protection get pregnant like this things happen but how you deal with it moving forward.

35:55You can't let this, you can't let this define the rest of your life. So I love you, daddy. You are going to get through this and please keep us updated. We love you. Okay, daddy gang, that is it for this week's episode. I hope you guys, you know, could take a little advice from that or you were just listening as you were driving in the car, washing your dishes or having sex or doing whatever the fuck you're doing. You're at work. Hi, it's me. It's Alex. I'm hoping you enjoy this week's episode. And daddy gang, you know, the motherfucking drill. I will see you fuckers next Wednesday. Goodbye.

From the publisher

Father Cooper is here with a Sunday session. Alex kicks things off with a much-awaited life update, sharing stories from her summer travels and dishing on the behind the scenes of the Zayn Malik interview. Big Al is dishing out advice, tackling the topic of "situationships" and how to break free from their grip. She also discusses what it means when someone lies about deleting your nudes and how you may unknowingly take on toxic habits when in an unhealthy relationship. Alex offers advice on how to discuss STDs with a new partner and how to overcome the fear of re-entering the dating scene. Enjoy! 


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