Tay Lautner: The Realities of Pregnancy

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2:22what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy tay lotner welcome to call her daddy thank you we both just start crying no no guys we just got in the room together and like the pregnancy hormones we both were like i feel so safe yeah i know that if one of us has to pee during this yeah because right now i last um the time I was with my doctor she was like oh girl like that baby is right on your bladder and I was like perfect yeah so it's a safe space perfect whatever you need I will let you know I realized last time we were together you and your husband came on you guys were newlyweds and Matt and I weren't even married that's kind of crazy and now we're pregnant we were like in like completely different stages of life right yeah and now look at us I remember when you announced and I was obviously so excited for you and Taylor and my first thought was oh my god I'm so happy for them and then my second thought was oh my god are our kids gonna be like friends at the lake together okay that's what gets it she's crying no literally oh stop I know they're gonna be like little in the little life little vest jacket thing okay yep okay next point keep going so I just was like oh my god so for anyone that doesn't know tay and i have lake houses like right basically next to each other and i just couldn't help but think like oh my god it's gonna be great so summer you're gonna be by the lake talk to me about what an ideal lake day looks like for you as my pregnant friend oh my gosh i mean i'm i feel like i'm kind of turning into more of a lake girl than a beach girl 100 like i'm really enjoying the lake i honestly think like a really nice i love a sprite So either like a crisp little Sprite with lime or like a cute little mocktail.

4:18My mocktail game. I have been thriving. I said the other day to someone, I was like, I just miss a spicy margarita. And they're like, you can make it without the alcohol, Alex. And I was like, you're so right. What a thought. With a keen on the rim. No, Taylor just made, it's a lychee mocktail. I don't know. He looked it up, but it's literally like a lychee soda thing, like soda water. and then it's pineapple concentrate and frozen pineapples with a tahini rim. I also, and I don't know about you, I've been like loving not drinking. Yeah. I will say though, being around people that are drinking, I'm a little bit more like, okay, this is going to remind me never to drink again in my life.

4:55Yeah, the tolerance is like to be around that. The whole thing. Okay, if you're by the lake, is Taylor cooking? Are you cooking? Like who's the chef? Oh, Taylor's definitely cooking. Honestly, Taylor, there's hot dogs on the grill because hot dog has been my new hot dogs and hamburgers. The hamburgers. Yeah. Okay. What are some like random cravings you've been having recently? Yeah. I think the most recent one has been Girl Scout cookies because I just got Girl Scout cookies. What kind? I can't even. The Samoas, the one with the peanut butter thing in them. Any Girl Scout cookie is going to hit right where we need it.

5:30Yeah. Another thing that Matt said, and I thought it was so cute is when I told him that you guys were pregnant he was like oh my god I feel like me and Taylor are really gonna bond because I feel like we're both gonna be really good with kids and activities and I was like why are they so giving like camp counselor like Taylor's out there getting the boat yeah like I feel like that's gonna be the vibe they I feel like they both will completely thrive in that what kind of dad do you think Taylor is gonna be we always say he's going to be the parent that gives the kids what they want like I say no and he says yes really yeah so I'm really curious to see like how that plays out if that actually happens that's actually interesting because Matt and I've talked about that and I'm like I think in the younger years I'm gonna say yes and Matt's gonna say no but then the minute they get into like socializing in terms of like middle school to high school yeah I'm gonna be the one that's like psychologically analyzing like you're not going to the party because of this and then Matt's I'm like, I don't care.

6:28Do whatever you want. Yeah. So it will flip at one point. Yeah. But for now, you think you're going to be a little bit more. I think so. Hey, yeah, I think so. Why do I also feel like Taylor is going to teach my child how to do a backflip? Probably. Let's start with a cartwheel. I know. OK, tell me everything. Like when you found out, what was your reaction? Yeah. So we it was honestly special because so I guess before like rewinding to finding out I was pregnant. We weren't trying. I mean, we weren't doing anything to like prevent it and had it honestly for a while. And I was just like, you know, I wasn't at the place where I was like, I'm ready.

7:08I wasn't tracking my ovulation or anything like that. And I have PCOS, which is now PMOS, but PCOS. And so my periods have been irregular for a long time. So my cycle before I got pregnant was 40 days long. So like I literally went 40 days without a period. And then this next one happened and I was on day maybe like 36. So I wasn't technically like late and I wasn't really feeling anything like weird. But I had a microneedling appointment and you can't do that if you're pregnant. You cannot. And I was just like, let me just take a test just to be sure. I was like, I'm not going to tell Taylor.

7:45I'm not going to like, because I had a pregnancy scare last January. Like I fully thought I was pregnant and like cried to Taylor after a podcast taping. I was like holding it in for like two weeks. I was like, if I don't get my period by this date, then I'm telling Taylor. And we had to go to CVS. I ended up not being pregnant. But that showed me that the next morning I woke up and I wasn't pregnant. I was like, oh, I'm actually like sad that I'm not pregnant. I think I'm ready. Took me a whole year. Fast forward to the following January. But anyways, I didn't tell him and he like went to go.

8:18He's the chef. So he went to the our butcher shop to go pick up meats for dinner and I took the test while he was gone pee on the stick I go do my whole like skincare routine of like the face like just like very in-depth like everything I don't I like forget that the test is there like I'm not thinking about it because I don't think I'm pregnant but I'm like let me just make sure right because we got our micro-medling yeah there can always be a chance um and it said pregnant and I was like interesting no i literally like froze for like five seconds and i was like okay and then i google the can you have a false positive and it basically was like no and i was like okay so i took another one and then it also said pregnant this whole time taylor's gone i'm not texting him because i'm not going to text him and tell him and so i'm just like standing there just kind of in shock and like obviously excited because I know that's we're married and that's what we want.

9:13So but I'm literally just like frozen and he gets home. I literally he brings like the groceries in. I throw everything in the fridge and I just pull the test out and hand it to him. And he's just standing there and he's like, what is this? And I was like, uh-huh. He goes, how did this happen? And I was like, OK, well, you know how that happened, honey. That's such a man. he's like wait how did this happen you're like how do you think it happened taylor like well this one day um so we didn't get to experience finding out together which like after the fact you know telling him it was like we still got to like celebrate and have like you know four days of us just kind of like being in shock and being like okay like we're doing this so when it came to the gender reveal, I was so excited to get to like do that together.

10:05And it truly was like the most, like the most fun thing to get to do. I love going to gender reveal parties, but I literally could never like have one for me. That pressure is just like, okay, so how did you do it? So we literally just looked online on the test. We got the test. We actually had it for probably like, probably like a week when you didn't look we why the minute the minute i got mine i was like i want to know i think it was just because like i don't i don't even know i feel like we were both kind of just like not scared but we were just like oh my gosh like it was just gonna make it so much more real that's so true i think um but finding out and like seeing girl on there it was Taylor really wants girls.

10:54Like he's like girl dad. He wants all girls. I was kind of I didn't really care. But it was like truly the sweetest moment ever. Like it was like the most like the coolest thing I think we're ever going to get to do. Obviously, when I birthed the baby, that's very special and probably even more special. But it's the coolest thing. It makes me emo when you're talking about this, because I agree with you. There's something so nerve wracking when you're going to find out the sex and I was similar to you I found out without Matt and so I was in the bathroom same thing like took the test like wasn't really sure didn't think it was good and then when it happened I had that same thing where you're like it's a little bit of mix of shock yeah and I think it doesn't take it takes a second to like set in yeah um but the gender makes it so real and I cannot believe you sat on that for a week when I tell you my doctor was like somewhere that there wasn't good service and she's like Alex I tried to call you to talk because I told her like just call me yeah and she's like I feel bad like I don't want to just text it to you and I was like text it and she's like no Alex like she's like texting back like no no I can call you in about 20 I was like text it like no do it I was like and so I'm laying there and I remember I got the document yeah and I'm like okay breathe breathe breathe breathe breathe click on the document.

12:15I see the sex and Matt's in a meeting and I text Matt and I'm like, come home. And he's like, I've got a couple more meetings. And I was like, do you want to know the gender of your baby? And he calls me immediately and he's like, what? I'm in the middle of a meeting. There's like 20 people in the room. And I was like, do you want to know the gender? You better get in the car. He leaves the meeting. Racing home. Cause I was like, I'm not telling you over text. So the fact that you guys got to be together that's so oh my god I'm so happy for you that's really exciting oh my god oh my god again um after you and Taylor found out about the pregnancy who did you tell first we told first we told two of our like couple best friends um we were actually going on a birthday trip for Taylor and I was like very much in first trimester trenches.

13:10So we kind of had to tell them. We were also going somewhere where there was like wine. So like that I wouldn't be drinking. So we kind of had to tell them. But I also did want to tell them because I've walked through miscarriage with like multiple of my friends and both sides of like not knowing they were pregnant and them having to tell me that they lost they were pregnant and lost baby and then the other side of finding out they were pregnant and then them like getting to like have that together and then them having to tell me so after kind of like walking through those both taylor and i decided i was like i need to just tell like a couple of my close friends because god forbid like you know anything does happen i don't want to have to deliver like the happy and sad news at the same time so we were going to tell them anyways but that's who we told first isn't that so it's so crazy just the emotional aspect and i think everyone has to do it at their own time i think it's so crazy when people are like you can't you should not tell people before the x amount mark and it's like i think anyone to do whatever they want to do when it comes to that um because i'm also similar to you like if something bad was going to happen like i would want the people closest to me to know so i'm not gonna like hide it in case something does but like just being open with the people you love I think for me was also similar like of just like a mindset yeah your pregnancy announcement back in April was beyond gorgeous and you captioned it what's better than two Taylor Lautners I screamed when I read that caption who came up with that Taylor so like on day five of knowing we were pregnant he was like I have the best caption I was like great you obviously don't have to share but do you have a name picked out there are definitely some you've got something that works yeah okay and is it like you've got like 20 or are you like in that like 10 to 5 category like 3 yeah like 3 to 5 okay yeah was there any consideration of naming your child taylor it may be in the mix we will find out when the baby comes it's also just like so much pressure naming a human like this is like the name of this humans gonna have for the rest of their life and there's like so much public like conversation already around it for you guys it's like no i feel like if i don't name my baby taylor the internet's literally gonna cancel me i'm gonna get canceled like you had the perfect opportunity but i'm like guys are they really gonna want that name i think it get a little confusing because it's already confusing right like do we have taylor and then we have tay tay jr baby we used to always joke that if we were having a boy we'd name him taylor and call him tj i'm so stressed for you guys honestly in that we'll see um what did it feel like finally announcing and sharing your pregnancy to the world because friends is one thing girl yeah and then hitting upload on that talk to me it was truly like a weight lifted off my shoulders I think I was just so stressed someone was gonna like leak it honestly I think I was a little scarred from our wedding because our like first look someone was like photographed us having our first look no and like I didn't know that yeah and it came out like the day after the wedding and it was like that was the first time I'd ever experienced obviously you know paparazzi and stuff has followed us around before but that was the first time it was really something that was so intimate and like so personal so that was like that was not fun for me um so i think that kind of was like understandable right it was making me nervous like every time i go see my ob like i you know a taylor has come with me to every appointment and i'm like there's obviously like girls my age in the office and so i'm so happy that you were able to control the narrative and do it that way because I agree with you like you have having an experience that is it's an invasion of privacy right that was like a moment between the two of you that you and also a first look like yeah it's not even like a shot into like the the after party it's like your first look between the two of you so pregnancy in that oh my god I'm I'm so happy that it didn't get leaked for you um let's talk about the first trimester because I don't know about you but no one could have prepared me no and there's like almost give me one word to describe your first trimester terrific trauma literally just at anything bad tough yeah one symptom i know you have talked about on your podcast is your nausea and i also had i don't even like to talk about it almost because it just brings it back.

18:07Yeah. That nausea was so traumatizing, truly. Like it felt hard to live my life while experiencing that. Can you talk to me a little bit about how it impacted your day to day and just overall the first trimester? Oh, yeah. I think that and I honestly feel like since I've been pregnant, I've kind of been shitting on pregnancy. But I think that's just because I had such a skewed view of pregnancy from what I saw online. Like I just feel like it's supposed to be what I what I saw and what I was thinking it was going to be the you know this most beautiful thing and I'm going to be glowing and I'm going to feel the best I've ever felt and be so confident and blah blah blah like all that I have not felt any of those things and it took me a while to like feel comfortable to say that but I really think because the internet is just so quick to be like oh you're not grateful you're pregnant do you know how many women would like kill to be pregnant.

18:58And I completely understand that. But I think two things can be true. Like, obviously, I'm so grateful and excited to be having this baby with like my favorite human in the world. But I don't like what it's doing to my body. Like, it's not an enjoyable experience. I feel like in my life, I've seen so many women obviously be pregnant, right? And you see them on the street, you have friends, you have family, but nothing prepares you. And now I look at pregnancy so differently like when i see a woman on the street now i'm like i need to do something for her immediately no truly it just changes your perspective and i agree with you there's so many hardships that come with it um and it feels weird to talk about i agree because of how many women struggle to even get pregnant so to be pregnant there's like this pressure to just shut up and be grateful yeah um talking about the nausea because i i also was like i don't know how women work in their first trimester no i'm like can the mat leave needs to be there needs to be like a first mat leave and then maybe there's like three months where he could do stuff in the middle and then the mat leave needs to like yeah because it's like hard to do anything no my my best friend is a labor and delivery nurse and i like i mean i couldn't imagine still like working in the hospital having my nursing job doing this and i'm like she's like my my best friend's literally holding like women's legs up as they're pushing a baby and she worked until like maybe like two weeks before she gave birth.

20:23She is a superhero. But the whole time she was in her first trimester, she was dying in the hospital. And like she's throwing up in between like seeing her patients. And I'm like, how? How does this work? You talked about because, yes, there's the nausea, but then there's the hunger. You shared that you would wake up starving in the middle of the night. What meals were you able to have during your first trimester? And then what were you also like repulsed by. Yeah, I feel like there was a good three weeks where I had like food aversions to literally just everything. And all I could eat was carbs.

20:58It was just like crackers, a grilled cheese, toast, and watermelon was my, that was like the refreshing, like I needed cold. I also never drink ice water, but my first trimester, like I just, I just like pour a glass of water. I've never been like, I need ice. I was like so much ice everywhere. I would even chew on ice at times. I was like, this shit slaps so hard. No, I lived in my migraine. It was just like, I just was not, you're, you're not present. Like you're literally just trying to get like through the day. And then it's like, you can't even think about the next day. What pregnancy symptoms have surprised you?

21:35Skin tags, the little things. I have like a couple on my neck but they're like tiny like you can't see them but i can feel them i feel one like i was feeling one on my side today and i'm like what is that good to know no that's apparently something they are supposed to go away after that one it's just like so many your nipples changing so early on i was not expecting my boobs i'm like no i'm i'm a double d and there's no milk in me yet and I'm really scared.

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23:24Get over eight times the national average savings rate and up to a$300 welcome bonus when you sign up with eligible direct deposit. Sign up at SoFi.com slash call her daddy. SoFi checking and savings offered through SoFi Bank and a member FDIC term supply. You and your podcast were open about, well, you have always been open about your own mental health struggles. And then recently you kind of alluded to this low moment that you experienced during your first trimester. Are you comfortable kind of sharing a little bit more about that moment? Yeah. I'm kind of like on a mission to talk about this more because I obviously share so much about my mental health and everything I've walked through and having PTSD and depression and everything I've gone through that.

24:12And when I talked about this, and I honestly didn't even like really share much. It was the most like DMs and messages from women I've ever received in my like entire time doing the internet. Like truly, it was so crazy how many women really feel that same way. And I think it's because we're not expecting our bodies to change as quickly, especially for me. So like first trimester, I have emetophobia and I hate throwing up. Like I have a fear of throwing up. So every time I would get notches, I would eat. So I never threw up in my first trimester, but every time I was notches, I would eat. And so I gained like 12 to 15 pounds in like three weeks maybe.

24:56And so nothing fit so early on. And I was just felt just like I, I mean, I cried. I was like literally standing naked in front of the mirror. I think I was like about to get in the shower and Taylor was in the bathroom with me and I literally just like started crying. So you just don't recognize yourself. And I think we don't talk about this because we're not supposed to talk about the first trimester because you're not supposed to talk about it till, you know, everything is safe and fine. But then you kind of have amnesia and forget that that even happened because you're just have the pregnancy brain and you're thinking about the future.

25:29But I mean, it's, it continues to happen to me even now, like now that I fully like have a bump it feels better which sounds like funny but I think for so long it was just kind of like fluff and I just like could not recognize my body like it was just everything thank you for sharing that because I agree with you that like again no one I don't I my whole algorithm I feel like right now is pregnancy and there's so much that is so beautiful that I'm seeing but I'm also like oh my god like i i'm not seeing any of the more honest shit that i'm talking about with my girlfriends who have had children or are pregnant right now and that reality of looking yourself in the mirror and being like honestly like scared because you're like and i'm not saying you're thinking again like i'm prefacing it because it's like we're grateful but it's like i'm not saying that you're not saying like oh my god i don't want to be pregnant but you have that feeling where you're like what did I do like this is so scary like what is happening to me and you're so it's you're so out of control of your body and you really are out of control with your emotions and like your mental health and everything that's going on and it's hard like my husband's been amazing it sounds like Taylor's been so amazing but there's also only so much that like a man and also just someone who's not in your body can do for you yeah like how has he been supportive during this time yeah no I mean you know Taylor he's literally just like the nicest human and is so it's been it's honestly been so cool to walk through this time together because I'm I think similar to you like we are both like very independent people and even even my therapist is like you should rely on Taylor more but I'm like I'm just like only child I'm like hardworking I'm like very driven I'm like no like I if I can do it I'm gonna do it like I don't want to even if you know I should have Taylor do it.

27:27I'm going to do it. So it really made me because I just could not I couldn't move for a while. It really made me have to rely on him to do stuff for me. And it was the first time like, obviously, you know, we have a great partnership, but I just I just do things on my own. And it was really special to get to do that with him. It was sweet. It is beautiful to like watch your partnership evolve in a way that you could have never anticipated because you didn't know you were going to be laid up and like down bad and then all of a sudden you're looking at him in a different light it really makes you just so appreciate the partner that you choose in life oh my god I think that's like the one of the biggest things I would scream and Kylie Kelsey talked about this on her podcast and I heard it like sometime last year and she was just like your husband is the only person in your family you choose like you don't choose your siblings you don't choose your parents you don't choose your kids like you choose who you're gonna marry and I always say like when I married Taylor I married him because I know he's gonna be great with kids and I know like he's gonna be like that's like I see that right I want to talk about body image a little bit more because something I was thinking about is and I saw a woman post about this, I think on TikTok.

28:46And it made me just have an aha moment where it was like, she basically said, I have never had more people comment on my body so freely than when you're pregnant. And it's either like, oh, you're carrying well or like, oh my gosh, don't worry. Like I gained 20 pounds in my first trimester. So you're like, so are you calling me fat? Like, oh, your face doesn't look as like, there's such a commentary that people feel so comfortable. but oh, the bump is this or that. And you're like, wait. And so it's such an odd feeling where everyone feels entitled to kind of comment on how a woman is carrying.

29:24And it's very strange, not that we don't already do that to non-pregnant women, but it feels heightened when you are pregnant. And so I want to talk about, I know you were just kind of like alluding to like, you know, when you were looking in the mirror and everything, but like, did you have expectations of your body and your pregnancy that ended up going very differently? And like, what are some examples of that for you? Oh, yeah, everything. I didn't think I was I mean, I've already gained 35 pounds. So I'm like, I didn't think I was gonna gain that much weight, which I don't even I think also just because my mom, she was one of those people that you could not even tell she was pregnant, and had a great pregnancy.

30:04And just like from the back, she was just like, I wear dresses she wore when she was pregnant with me like not pregnant like in before pregnancy you're comparing yeah no there's I think there's so much comparison and I still do it now I mean obviously I have a better relationship with it because the more I've been open and talking about it the more I feel better about it but still like I just was not I wasn't expecting to like almost not even fit in Taylor's jeans like it's just it's yeah it's just a really interesting thing my girlfriend and I were just talking about, she's also pregnant. I'm so thankful.

30:36I have a few girlfriends that are pregnant and we're like right around the same time. And so it's been really special to like, be able to like text each other, like how we're feeling. Can we eat this? Like, is, does anyone have this happening yet? So I'm so thankful for it, but she was telling me how she, which is something me and our other friend have both experienced of people telling her like, oh my gosh, I knew you're like when, like after she announced, oh my gosh, I knew you were pregnant. and like she's like oh like how and they're like i could just tell like and not get in like just commenting that she'd gain weight so it's like okay so you're you're telling me that you thought i like look fat yeah and it was just like so many people and i've the more i've talked about this with some of my girlfriends the more it actually like really does because when you start to tell people your clothes are snug on you.

31:28So it's just like, why are we like, give another like, give another example. Like I thought, me and my girlfriend, Natasha, we both, we both knew had a feeling the other was pregnant because of the symptoms we were having. We would hang out and we were both just like, but like not telling the other one yet. Or like, it was just very similar vibes of what we were doing. Or we were texting about bloating, but we hadn't told each other we were pregnant so we're like give an example of like don't just say i i just had a feeling like you looked you looked pregnant i also i'm kind of struggling with the glowing thing i feel better with it now but when someone's like you're glowing i'm like no i just have gained 30 pounds and my face is fuller no no no thank you but glowing because i'm like i know my skin doesn't look great she does not like i woke up this morning and i was like i think there's like five pounds of makeup on this one just giant situation at the right here and I'm like I know it's not I'm actually physically glowing yeah so explain to me what you mean by that yeah what do you mean by glowing why let's get into that no that's such a good point and it's it is so crazy because I also understand to anyone that's watching that isn't pregnant it's like oh my god you're you're probably thinking like and maybe I don't know I've never I've never made a comment about a woman's like pregnant body before but I'm looking back before I experienced pregnancy I don't think I had an appreciation for the amount that a woman is going through with her body and so I now look at those comments as a pregnant woman and before I would have been like oh she just said you're glowing like it's fine like yeah but now I'm like no no no no what you don't understand about a woman who's pregnant is like everything is in turmoil in her head and in her body and so for you to say anything about her physical appearance.

33:19It's just even if you say like she's looking great and she's not feeling great. Yeah. Just shut up. Yeah. But it's hard for people to not comment. I feel like it's kind of like, you know, people don't really know what to say if someone's grieving, if there's been a loss or something. I honestly feel like there's some similarity of if you haven't walked through it. I also have been getting really stressed out when people are like, it's going to go by so fast enjoy every moment because i had a full-blown panic attack the night before our wedding because so many people like had told me they're like tomorrow's gonna go by so quick it's gonna be over and i was like so panicked because i was like i don't want it to go by like i wanted to i want to remember all of these moments and so when people have been telling me that i'm like like i told i think it was probably like a couple months ago i like i now have like i'm normally a very chill.

34:09It takes a lot to make me mad. I'm like so even keel, like nothing pisses me off. And now the hormones, I'm like, I'm done. But you're like, goodbye. I snapped at Taylor for the first time last week and I felt so bad over what? Literally nothing. Literally nothing. It's just, it's no, literally we were leaving my OB's office and I hadn't had enough food, I think was partially the problem. And he's just like, so sweet. He drops me off and I run in and like grab the food and then I run back out to the car because it's a busy street. Don't worry everyone, he would be getting the food if it wasn't a busy street.

34:44So I run in and grab it and then I run back out and the door is locked and he rolls the window down and I'm like standing there trying to open the door and he's like, you're going to need to grab your tensils. I was like, I did. And I was like, we got in the car and I was like, oh my gosh. And he was like, for the rest of the ride, I'm your chauffeur. We're not going to talk. Five minutes go by. I was like, I'm sorry. wait also I love that that's your version of snapping at him I did no I'm not I'm like so I'm the most you guys Taylor and I have never like been in an argue like we don't like I'm just like they just like talk through things it takes a lot to piss me off you gave him the demon eyes I know I did he in it like I think he's like he was like I am your uber today he made a shocked face I was thinking about that too I know and I remember when I interviewed you guys Taylor has publicly talked about his own body image struggles.

35:31Has he been able, I know it's not comparable, but like, has he been able at all to talk to you and relate with you in any capacity that's been helpful in that realm? Yeah. No, I think there's definitely a level of relatability there, even though it is something that's completely different. But it is something that I've struggled with, you know, posting my body publicly or like how So I go about that, but it's really sweet. I was talking about laying out at the lake and I was saying how I'm just, I said something along the lines of like, I'm just going to be a big pregnant lady laying out there.

36:07And he goes, no, you're just a pregnant lady. And I was like, oh, that's really nice. I was like, I need to talk to myself that way more. I think that's honestly the biggest thing. And that's something I keep trying to tell myself. And every time I don't, I just like smack myself on the wrist. But when I see other pregnant women, I've actually never thought some like a pregnant woman was fat. I've never been like, look at her arms, look at the cellulite. I've never thought that. And that's all I see in myself. So I'm really trying to like. Talk to me about the negative self-talk and like some of the darker thoughts and then how you've been able to pull yourself out of them.

36:44Yeah. Yeah. I just I think it's hard to because you're so hormonal and you can talk with people. Obviously, I think having my girlfriends that are pregnant too has been nice to be able to talk about, but there's so many things that I notice more now. And it's something that I've never really struggled with to this degree. And so it's been just a really unique experience to try to walk through it and try to also walk through it somewhat rationally because there's no rationale. I went through a phase where like I really like was not wanting to look in the mirror and I would be like if I was unchanging to like change for better something like in the past maybe I'd be like naked brushing my teeth and I was like avoiding it and I remember like I was also like really not wanting to look at my boobs like it was freaking me out just like everything that's happening and I was and it was almost like subconsciously happening and I wasn't aware and then I remember one night I was like in the bathroom with Matt and he was coming in and I was naked and then I was like oh my god I want to go put a shirt on and Matt was like what's wrong and I was like oh my god I was about to like cover up yeah because I don't know like I just don't feel confident or sexy at all right now yeah and matt was like oh my alex like you are pregnant like you look so beautiful like why are you not and i and in that moment obviously started crying um and to have my husband just be like similar to that taylor comment of like you're a pregnant woman that was so helpful but i need to do that more for myself is what i guess we're saying towards yeah and i also think i think to the more I've been trying to like I had that same thing and I've been trying to be naked more in front of Taylor because I'm like I need to just like I need to like accept it because I think it's also hard to and thank god my girlfriend like I texted remember I texted my girlfriends in the first trimester when we were like maybe starting to feel better but not and I was like is anyone having sex because I'm like I remember one of my friends saying to me like oh my god first trimester, like it's going to be hard to have sex because you want to vomit on them and you can't even think about anything literally sorry, but going inside of you while you're like everything wants to come out like the whole thing.