The Post Malone Experience (FBF)

0:00Hi Daddy Gang, I am currently in Boston, okay? And I'm on my way to the Post Malone concert. and I figured I don't want to go alone. I would love for you to come with me. That's why I got us this limo. But if we're going to go to his concert, I don't know. I just figured maybe we should also interview him. You want to come? Let's get into it.

0:25What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. The man of the hour. Come take a seat. Yes, ma 'am. I'm going to give you a little hug before just because good vibes. How are you doing? I'm amazing.

1:01I guess I should say Post Malone. Welcome to Call Her Daddy. Well, thank you for having me. I am so happy to be here. It's very exciting for me. I've always wanted to meet you. Yes, ma 'am. You have a fabulous vibe. Thank you very much. We are currently in your dressing room backstage. You're going to perform tonight. We are in Massachusetts, a little outside of Boston. Yes, ma 'am. Do you have any connection to Boston? Do you have friends in Boston? I have a lot of Patriot fans as friends. Well, friends is a very loose term, I suppose. Oh, yeah. Are you friends with Tom Brady? Is that what you're saying?

1:38No, no. Just Patriot fans. He is a very sweet guy. But a lot of people on the team are for some reason New England Patriot fans. Oh, I love that. It's all right, I guess. It's good. I don't know. You don't like the past? No, ma 'am. No, ma 'am. So respectful. No, ma 'am. I fucking hate that ma 'am. I actually went to college in Boston. I haven't been back since graduation. so it's kind of like a pretty surreal moment for me if I knew in college I was ever gonna you know interview you I probably would have shit my pants cool I did shit my pants today oh you did I wanted to say also thank you um for coming I know you have a very busy schedule too so I appreciate you no I appreciate and I appreciate you waiting as well I'm I'm here drinking and relaxing it's good it's good bye so as I was getting ready for this interview I was Okay, I know you typically go by Post, but you have a new album out called Austin.

2:33Yes, ma 'am. Which is your first name. Yes, ma 'am. So what's the vibe? Do you want to start going by Austin now? My football coaches used to call me Posty. And that's kind of where that started. You can call me whatever you want, except late for dinner. Late for dinner. That's like my most old man joke of all time. That's like a joke from like the 20s. It's like a Dust Bowl joke. I'm not going to lie. It took me like two seconds to register the joke and now I get it. And so now I'm going to laugh after the joke. The thing is, there's no joke really. Okay. Comedy was different. No, no, no, no.

3:06It's great comedy. I appreciate you. No, that's interesting. Cause I was talking to someone that's on your team and he was like, yeah, like sometimes like I'll call him Austin where we're more private vibe and then post when it's more like he's post Malone, he's out there. Oh, you talk to people from the team? Oh, I've been like interviewing everyone about you. I'm getting all the tea posts. I'm getting all the vibe so do you think like is austin and post malone the same person or is post kind of like an alter ego i think it's a that's weird to think about i think it's everything is me you know everything is me my name's austin everyone calls me austin whenever i introduce myself i always say austin i think because i got post malone from just putting my name in a rap name generator like in high school that is what we need to clarify so when i was researching i was like hold on your actual last name is post which i don't think everyone knows so it's austin post well you put post as the first and you're saying you put into a random generator and you got malone yes man it just gave me the name and i said you know that does sound cool and so i did it i want to name like wizz khalifa but it's not nearly as cool as wizz khalifa but it's like it has two words so it's kind of like Wiz Khalifa.

4:20Yeah yeah it's pretty unique. So you're on tour obviously that's where we are right now. How is tour going for you? It is amazeballs. It's my first tour with a band. Okay. So I'm so I'm having so much fun. I'm so excited and like for the longest time it would just be me on stage running around, and it was very lonely up there. And so now I can look around, and if I fuck up or anything, I'd just be like, hey, stop. And then the crowd would be like, oh, it wasn't him. You know, so that's like kind of... You're like, I can blame it on everyone else. It's not my fucking fault. I fall on my face. You're like, my fucking guitarist tripped me.

5:04What the hell happened? What's this guitarist we're doing here? So what inspired you to name the tour, if y 'all weren't here, I'd be crying? This is true for the most part. No, not really. Not anymore. I'm actually so happy now. It's super interesting being out on tour for a long time. Because for a long time, we just ran around the world, especially when I was younger and I could and before COVID and all that stuff. And now being back out on tour is hard because I'm old. Or I feel old, at least. How old are you? I'm 28. I just turned 28. Whenever I started, I was 19. And I was like, everybody's like, oh, he's like 20 years old.

5:51And I'm like, yeah, that's yeah. But now I'm like 28 and no one cares. I love it. We're the same age. So am I old? No, ma 'am. I feel like 28. We're like just getting to our prime, no? You're tired. I'm super tired. And going on tour. Now my knees click. Says she tired of little money, need a big boy. Pull up 20-inch blades like I'm Lil Tried. Now it's everybody flocking here to D-Core Shorty mixing up the vodka with the Lee Coy I need to get you a little brace There's a bunch of stuff Yeah, I mean, I would love I wanted to go Stone Cold Steve Austin double leg braces Because it's so sick looking And I wear jorts every show So it's like perfect The jorts stop and then the knee brace begins And then the knee brace begins And you're like, why does he wear those?

6:32I don't know, but it looks cool I think the more shit that WWE wrestlers put on I'm like, whoa, they must have like They've been through some shit I feel like you're the only person that could pull up jorts and knee pads or like knee brace vibe. If I did knee pads, that would be badass. And I want to like, because sometimes I'll hurt my hand because I'm a dumbass and I play in my garage and like stab myself with a knife on accident. Yeah. And then I'll have to like wrap my hand and I'm like, oh, I'm so cool. I love it. Okay, so I hope next time I see you, you're going to be wearing that shit. Yes, ma 'am.

7:04That didn't answer your question at all. It's okay. I don't care if we swerve like who gives a shit. We're here to have a good time. Okay. We're getting you ready for your concert. What is on your rider? And actually, can you explain what a rider is? Because some people may have no fucking idea what that means. Yes, ma 'am. So there's many schools of thought here. I actually don't know how to spell rider. I don't know if it's rider or writer. And I think that's kind of like where the two schools disagree. But there's a lot of different arguments that can sprout out of that conversation. We won't go there.

7:37but a writer is a list of stuff that you like that i guess make you feel at home whenever you're not so list us yours come on the thing about my writer is it's not updated i still get candies that i don't like oh it's not that i don't like but for the longest time we had gummy bears like haribo gummy bears which are fine but if you eat you eat them every day for like two years straight I want Black Forest gummy bears I want to switch it up But for now we have Red Cups I gotta look over there We have Emergency What do you like? What do you wish was in here? I prefer on my writer A stack of a million dollars cash Would be very bitchin They don't give a shit about you I guess Old man vibes It's over I gotta go home Just eat the fucking hair I'm sorry about gummy bears.

8:36Do you think you're high maintenance or low maintenance? I consider myself low maintenance, I think. Do you think if I asked your team, they would agree? Yes. Yes. I think so. I don't know because I'm at the core of everything. I'm super simple. I need a beer. I need cigarettes. and I need two hours in the bathroom to answer emails. That's it. That's all I need, I think. Wow. And then a little bit of beer pong. But I will say something I'm a little bougie about is I need good cups and balls. Okay. Like very specific cups and balls because the way in a lot of the, you know, there's a lot of different cups and balls out there.

9:24Yeah. And sometimes they'll try to skimp out on the cups and that's when I've had enough. You take your beer pong very seriously. Yes, man. And I've gotten worse as I've gotten. I used to be so good. Yeah, I was talking to Bobby and he was like, you know, he's so fucking good. You're bad now? Yeah, I'm bad now. I feel like that's also a facade. I'm so bad now. You're saying that and then we're going to go in there and you're going to be playing and you're going to be better than everyone.

9:57Are you superstitious before you go on stage? Is there anything specific you have to do where you're like, holy fuck, my day is ruined? Well, answering the emails is very important.

10:10Tonight, Noah's coming out. Oh, well, this is in the future. It's fine, yeah. Okay. Well, in Boston, Noah Kahn came out. And we were talking about inventing diapers for performers. because you never know you hit the wrong move and it just it's vesuvius yeah it's gonna go yeah it's apocalyptic it's yellowstone level eruption sometimes does that happen to you often no it's never happened to me let's just make this very clear it's never i want to look at every camera and say it's never happened to me but if it does happen that's like night that's a nightmare yeah that's like a nightmare one could assume that you would since you were like i've been really thinking about inventing these diapers as if this is like a serious like sewage problem for you where you're like just letting it rip then there's the whole thing because that then think of what i could do with that two hours okay sometimes i'll bring a guitar in there sometimes i'll i mean all the best lyrics are written on the shitter 100 yeah can we clarify for a minute so what i've heard is you do some of your best songwriting on shrooms and on the toilet it and those kind of well that's what i was gonna say like let's let's let's talk about it are you taking shrooms and then camping out in the bathroom like are these two things together or are they kind of like separate ventures they are separate ventures but i've never even thought about it that way because they do kind of i've had some of the meanest shits in my entire life off the shrooms and just beer it's because it'll be like like whenever i was a kid too it'd be like beer and shrooms for like four days and not eating anything and i will be like guys i'm gonna die right now you're just shitting your brains out yeah it's terrible skinny legend you're like it is all just i lost like 10 pounds from this one trip once uh no no but it's crazy because one point it just knocks on fucking hell's gate and you're like okay we need to open the floodgates now we take care of this this is a problem you keep talking about doing emails like do you not have someone to do your emails for you what emails is just code for shitting answering emails is just code for shitting you're actually sitting doing emails while you're taking your shit sometimes i'll answer some emails i do on tour it's hard to like bring gaming consoles and stuff and i'm pretty huge pro gamer um so i do a lot of online shopping and everybody thinks every order i place is fake.

12:40But you're like really shopping in there while you're shitting. It's me and then they call me or... Will you put your name on the order? I have to. No you don't. Yeah I do because they call me and they're like hey we've had a lot of fraud and we want to say... They even call me about my billing address not matching up with like my home address and stuff and I talk... Little do they know I'm totally on the can and I have to run like a white noise machine or a little bit of water and I have to specifically get up and turn it off and then sit back down just so they don't think like I'm in. And I know sometimes they can tell with like the reverb.

13:14Because what's interesting about a bathroom, you can definitely tell if you're on speakerphone, you can definitely tell if someone's in the bathroom. And then in pictures, for some reason, if you send someone a picture, like a selfie while you're shitting, there's no way that you don't know they're on the toilet. It's like an angle or something. Are you often taking selfies while you're shitting? No, but if I do. who would you send a selfie to while you were taking a shit i don't like a like a i have a bunch of like x seal buddies and ranger buddies and they they do it all the time they're like hey just taking a shit what's popping and i'm like all right yeah me too you know what fuck it let's do yeah it gives you like a little extra hair on your chest you're like i'm feeling myself well this is just like this is kind of what boys do this is like what we do we send each other shitty selfies yeah i like that for you and then drail facetime my manager will facetime me or something and I'll be like, hey, you know what?

14:04Hey, what's going on? And you can definitely tell on FaceTime. It's always such a pleasure to sit down with people because you never know where an interview is going to go. And what I love about Call Her Daddy is usually it has one vibe, but today we're talking about shit. Yes, we are. But it's comedy. You're bringing the comedy. I love it. You can say this interview really went in the can. It went in the can. Okay, I want to take a step back. Before you were Post Malone, you were just Austin. What were you like as a kid?

14:34um weird weird i've always been like i don't know i've always been kind of an introverted kid but then you know i loved express i love making music forever i love playing games i love hanging i like i had a small group of friends we would just go over to my buddy's house every day and just play games and stuff and um i don't know yeah weird little weirdo when you when you say you're a little weirdo back then is there like a memory or something like a story that comes to mind that you can help us like kind of describe you as a younger kid that's a hard question i remember i grew my hair long i wore the tightest crew jeans i could find and crew was the shit it was like the crews and the purple fallen shoes with the fat laces.

15:27And I would go. I don't know. And then everybody started goodwilling and going to the stores to go grab old penny loafers and shit. Yeah, thrifting. Yeah, thrifting. I don't know why I couldn't think of that word. It's okay. I got you. I'm here. Thank you very much. Yeah, of course. But yeah, we would just go run around and play games. and I don't know if there's a specific memory. I know everybody's like, oh, I'm quirky or I'm zany. You know, I'm wacky. You're just like, I was a weirdo. I don't know. I was just me. Yeah, that's the whole thing. You know, I moved when I was nine. And then, like, I used to get bullied a whole bunch in school.

16:11For what? For, I guess, like, dressing the way I did and stuff. Because I was like, we wore skinny jeans and all that stuff. And that was, like, just, like, kind of a new deal. And I don't know, but people throw gum in my beautiful hair. I had beautiful hair. I had to cut it all off. You'd cut it off because there was so much gum in your hair? No, no. There's way too much gum in my hair. This is becoming a problem. But I was safer. I was safer because the gum would harden. And so if I fell off the skateboard or something, I would be protected. Like after class, Post would have so much gum in his hair because the entire class would throw gum.

16:47And if you fell, it was more of like a little rebound thing. Like you were chill. I was not thrown gum every day. Okay, just occasionally. Yeah, no, it was like, oh, there's that fucker. Let's hit it with the gum. What is that, trident layers? That's good shit. That'll get stuck super good. So you wore skinny jeans. Do you think that was the gist of why you were getting bullied? No, I don't know. I think it was always because I was, I always wanted to be myself, I guess. And we all know high school is super high school. so middle school high school and when i was a kid too it just didn't start me off good at all because i wore slacks and a dress shirt every day and slicked my hair back because i saw my dad go to work and i was like you know what that dude's cool as fuck so i want to do that too yeah i could see that like the kids be like why the fuck are you wearing slaps yeah yeah yeah because my dad does be like my dad's cool guys what the fuck yeah and they're like well we're in fucking middle school and high school so like literally get it together i remember for one year my school tried a uniform and I was already Gucci I was like I didn't have to change shit like this is my I wake up and put this shit on a Saturday motherfucker like this is me this is my these are my PJs dude it's so fucked how mean kids are at that age like I also got bullied and I've talked about it on my show but I'm like people were so fucking mean and that like sticks with you and I feel like it's interesting because now I feel like people know in the industry and just your fans like you are now known for having like the sweetest kindest heart you're so sweet to people and I wonder like is is any of that because you don't want people to feel the way that you were treated well yeah I always I always think about that too and I know I think like it keeps me up some nights it'll be it'll be like say I was at dinner or something and um uh I'm in the middle of taking a bite and someone will say hey can I have a picture with you and I'll be like yeah and I'll get up and I won't be as energetic as I used to be because I want to eat too you know but of course and I always think and I'm like man I could have been so much kinder in that situation and that kind of drives me nuts because I know how it feels to to meet someone and uh especially I guess someone that you either know from music or someone that you really like their music or whatever and I know how that feels for them to be a total asshole and And I never, that's kind of like what drove me, I guess.

19:14I don't want anybody, it only takes one second out of your day to be nice. Totally. Yes, man. Do you have any advice for anyone that is like, damn, fuck, post, I relate to you of like feeling like an outsider or feeling like maybe they don't fit in and they're kind of getting bullied. Like, do you have any advice? Any wisdom? Well, I guess, well, I don't know about wisdom. um but yeah i mean coming coming from from from that and just really like you are so fucking cool you are so fucking cool even if no one thinks you're fucking cool you're super fucking cool i guess that's it i mean at the end of the day you you're only one person your whole life and you should be able to express yourself and live your life and do whatever the fuck you want to do as long as you're not hurting anybody and a lot of people don't really understand that i guess especially it's hard being a kid it's hard being a kid and I I'm not going to say I understand why kids bully people but you know it's hard being a kid and people go through shit every day and you know just keep being yourself just keep being fucking cool because you're fucking cool and no one can tell you shit really.

20:25For example, you're pretty fucking cool Thank you very much. Look, no gum anymore No gum. Shorter hair Shorter hair. You're looking great. Thank you very much

20:49okay i'm gonna ask you some rapid fire questions okay and post i want you to really just give me whatever comes to your mind and your heart in this moment when i ask you this okay here we go who is your best friend in the industry oh shit lewis bell you have to get rid of one tat which are you removing for my mommy something on my face that's fair hi mom she's here tonight oh i need to meet her lovely lovely you're like you sure you can hang out with her as long as you want okay What is something you used to be embarrassed about but you don't give a shit about anymore? Ah, my nipples. I have poofy nipples.

21:35Poofy. That sounds cute. It's not cute. Oh, okay. It's not cute. It's not fucking cute, bitch. They're tough. They're tough. Did you know they were puffy or did you get told they were puffy? Yeah, they always gave me shit about that. I never took my shirt off as a kid because I was like, man, my nipples are so puff. I don't get why. I don't understand this. Oh, just a little Puff Daddy. They're just, I'm Puff Daddy. Okay. That's how he actually got his name. Have you seen his nipples? He has Puffy Nipples. You and Puff Daddy. One thing in common, Puffy Nipples, bitch. He's just way richer than me.

22:10Stop. Stop. Okay, Puffy Nipples. That's a great answer that I didn't anticipate. This episode is going to be Post Malone featuring Puffy Nipples. This is good. That's a great rap name. That is good, okay. Have you ever joined the Mile High Club?

22:29not all the way like a little finger bang you couldn't come oh no definitely bust this is called her daddy we talk a lot about sex yeah definitely bust but no like coitus not full coitus and here's the whole deal and I'll tell you why I know it's supposed to be rapid fire but I feel like the moment you get up on an airplane and go to the bathroom or like move around at all that's when the turbulence starts because I'll see somebody get up and I know they have they have the poop walk so I can tell they're gonna be back there and I'm like get back in your seat it's so bumpy right now I know this is your fault am I the only one that feels that way no no I I agree with you and I understand that have you ever had the poop walk on the plane I have never shit on an airplane i have never either and you know what i know it's kind of gross to talk about but this whole fucking episode is all shit um i was on the airplane and i think there's nothing worse than when someone has gas on the airplane and you're just like like clench it or do fucking something bro because it's reeking i'm not gonna lie i definitely have farted real bad on an airplane before multiple times and i'm so sorry to everyone that was on there they probably thought that fucker was going down because they're like that's not like a natural smell so it's gonna be like jet fuel burning or something it's but i i have never shit on an airplane either and i think it's like there is a level of controllability in there you know what i mean but would you rather take someone take a shit or fart on the airplane well you're the fucking culprit over here well you know i feel like for a well look who we have here if it isn't jet fuel shitter on the airplane making everybody think it's going down.

24:13No, I mean, I feel like during COVID, even then, we might not even have that problem. So I'd let them rip all the fucking time. You can't smell shit. And if the N95s are that effective, you shouldn't be able to smell my shitty farts. They're not shitty, by the way. Stinky farts. Your little stinkers weren't getting through. It's almost like the motherfuckers that were wearing the ones that weren't that thick. It's like, well, shame on you. You deserve the farts. Usually what I do, you know, whatever area I'm in, I kind of distribute the ones that are really powerful with the twisting filters. And I'll just say, hey guys, this is just in case.

24:50Everybody's usually pretty receptive to it. They're like, thank you. I appreciate the strategy you put into letting it go. Okay? What is your most toxic trait?

25:02I have a bunch of those. Share with the class. Drinking. Drinking. And drinking and sometimes jealousy. And I'm also sometimes, especially with my good friends, quick to anger, which is something. Jealousy as in relationships? Yes, ma 'am. The fiance is like, I'm just chilling in the room and you're like, what are you doing? You're giving a little jealous vibes. I am right now? No, no. No, no. Just like I was asking. yeah i can tell you're so jealous everybody's gonna be jealous after watching this because they weren't as free with their fecal talk no i i exactly you're just letting it rip literally um okay so you're jealous you're jealous with with your woman a little okay but that shows you care yeah well i guess that's that's a good way to look at it i guess that's a that's a way to look at it you wouldn't say it well that's a good way to look at it i never you know necessarily want to be mean but i guess that stems from a place of my own insecurity and where and like how insecure i am so that's um um yeah i don't know nothing like absolutely wild but it's just like you know i just i want to feel loved you know what i mean i guess that's what it is like many humans and you're drinking are you working on it or you're like cool with it you just are aware i am working on it i I used to drink because I was sad.

26:31Now I drink for shows and because I'm happy. It's hard getting out there and I get so shy and timid and shit. So I just drink a little bit to, I guess, cope with that and be able to get my liquid courage, literally. That's so interesting, because I feel like when I see you on stage, especially online and TikToks, it's like, post your busting out dance moves it's like you're just like in your own world up there i would don't think anyone would think that you would be too shy to get up there oh well that's you know that's yeah most definitely most definitely it's it's uh you think these dance moves just these come they're conduited from a great drinker in the sky somewhere yeah you're like i'm actually just hammered and that's why i feel comfortable that's exactly in my jorts that's exactly what it is with my knee braces um exactly please put those on before the show tonight um what is a purchase you blew too much money on and regret regret or you blew too much money on and you're aware but you don't give a fuck i bought the lord of the rings magic card oh do you want to tell me how much that was two million dollars don't make me regret it right now oh you were saying you don't regret it no i definitely i definitely don't regret it oh where is it now it is well i guess right now since this is in the future i have it already would you like to see it oh yes can't wait let's do it off camera yeah yeah two million dollars on a fucking card yes wow so you really like lord of the rings i like lord of the rings and magic together do you like frodo i'm down with Frodo.

28:15I think he's cool. He's a flawed character, but we all are. And I like his feet. Oh, not like in a sexy way, but I just think it's cool how he lets him. He's walking around like the most treacherous place in the world in his bare feet. And I'm like, that's fucking cool. Yeah, I appreciate you clarifying because I think on this show, people would think you were like, oh, I jerk off to Frodo's feet. That's the vibe this show would give. So it's good you clarified. Answering emails can mean a lot of things. Exactly. Exactly. Okay. Two million dollars for a fucking car. Damn. How old were you when you lost your virginity?

28:47Oh, fuck. You can be honest. What counts? You're putting your dick in something. In the coochie? In something? Well, I didn't know. Oh, okay. In something. A butt or a V? A butt? First, whoa. All right. All right. Oh, fuck. No, no, no. Do you like women specifically? Yes, ma 'am. Okay, so a V then. A vagina. Okay. What's the first time you put your dick in a vagina? I thought it was like here's like oh first time for anal and I'm like whoa fuck oh we can go there too when's the first time for anal it's the first time you can be let's go here we go post woo let her rip oh fuck September oh wait no that's from the other guys that was his first desk pop okay I don't know the question was age age 17 17 what about the bum hole No, fuck.

29:44Not until a couple years later. What was the experience like? For me, very cool. It was a crazy thing. You know, there's a lot of crazy stuff you look at as a kid. And I'm like, you know what, fuck, I don't want to try this shit. Did she shit on your dick or no you were okay? No, ma 'am. No, ma 'am. No, ma 'am. No, ma 'am. Okay, we're moving on. He kept it clean. It was clean. When you pulled out, you were okay? You weren't traumatized? No, I was not. it sounds like you're saying she was no but i can never i can never like speak on behalf of be like we talk and be like yeah everything's great but then like like i don't know like is this normal yeah have you know not again with the whatever you wouldn't do it again no no no i would i mean i would oh but not with the same lady totally totally you have a lady no understood but like right this was like not with the same lady we never did it again does that make sense oh got it got it got it yes yes yeah i can only speak on my behalf no this is good i was gung-ho though you're like i was having a great fucking time anyways um what is your biggest fear i hate airplanes but that's not a biggest fear that's not that's a cop-out um but I guess not being able to be there for my baby, which is a new fear.

31:15But yeah, that's why I tried to slow down on drinking, to take better care of my body. I stopped drinking sodas and stuff. And I remember I went to the doctor and they said, hey, man, your liver sucks. And I was like, all right, so how do we fix it? And so we're fixing it. You're working on it. Yes, ma 'am. so what's the most awkward interaction you've had with another celebrity

31:41I don't necessarily remember but I remember there's there's one gentleman I know who who who doesn't drink and and I saw him after a couple years and I was roasted um and I was like hey man what are you drinking he's like I don't drink and I'm like oh fuck dude I'm so sorry that's like That's a bad feeling for me. And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry, man. I get it. I get it. You're like, why did I just say that? But I'm sure they get that all the time, so that's okay. But I get what you're... In a moment, you're like, fuck me. Why would I have to say it? I'd be like, I'm such a dick. Yeah, that's like...

32:20Then that shit keeps you up. You're like, oh, man. I got... Why did I do that? I'm so sorry, dude. You're a nice guy, though. You care what... You can affect people. Everyone can. That's like... Just be nice. Don't be a dickhead. Just be nice. Don't be a dickhead. Yes, ma 'am. Let's put that on a t-shirt. Yes, ma 'am. You're forced to dress up and role play in the bedroom. Okay. What are you dressing up as? Well, I guess Frodo. Now we have to go on theme here. You got to keep it consistent. It has to be. What would that look like? Either Frodo or Sauron. Oh, that'd be so badass. I'll put on stilts and be like 10 feet tall like Sauron.

32:58Do you think that would get your woman turned on? No, ma 'am. not even in the there is no life in the void and then she's like what the fuck are you doing like it couldn't be more dry you're literally disgusting me right now what is happening you're freaking me out you're on stilts and then coming in then she'll show me sauron's eye that's a coochie that's like the nickname there for the coochie got it and she just spread herself like i guess this is a girl play jesus fucking christ even but then we don't even have sex I just like practice my mace moves. Watch this. I'm kind of picturing, this is good too, because it's giving like a full idea of like what your sex is like.