The Wellness Industry Is a Scam

28:00I was like, we need let's get bored. And so in that boredom, I did allow myself to kind of start to think about what is the next year? You know, what is coming for me? I have so much going on with business that I'm so proud of and so excited about. But I think a lot of times my brain just spirals to like, what's next and what's this and what's that? And I'm, you know, all of it. So then all of a sudden I'm on fucking Amazon and I'm ordering myself a goddamn journal that looks like it's a journal from like the 1950s. I wanted it to look a little bit like worn in and like vintage, like nothing too cheesy, like really original.

28:43Right. And here I am ordering this fucking journal at like midnight as I can't sleep. And then I forgot I ordered it. And then I got home. It was like January 2nd, Prime showed up and I was like, what's the, oh, and you know what? The only thing it did, it just made me feel like fucking shit about myself because I was like, bitch, you were never going to write in that journal. You were never going to write in that journal. It was like a fleeting, it's like kind of like when you go on Pinterest and you have all these ideas of like, I'm going to become the most aesthetic bitch you've ever seen. My aesthetic, I'm going to do a full rebrand, like full rebrand aesthetic.

29:22And you're like pinning these things and like your fashion and all these things. And then you go to work the next day and you put on the exact same slacks in the shirt that you always do. And even though you've got the new outfit, you're like, Ooh, like I'm just going to like go to like my basics. And you just guess what? Cause that's who you are. We try to like mold ourselves to things we're seeing online and like, Ooh, the cool girl aesthetic and this aesthetic. And it's like, just be who the fuck you are. Because the minute you start to try to do that things for aesthetic or things that you see people doing.

29:49It's a waste of time. It's a waste of time and a waste of money. It's a waste of money that I bought that fucking journal. If anything, now I'm convincing myself like you will write in that journal, you little fucking bitch. And I'm like, but I don't want to write in the journal. And it's like, so don't, don't buy the fucking cool girl boots that you think like, I don't know if I'll wear them a lot, but I do know I'll get street cred if I wear them. Stop it. Stop it. Don't buy anything for street cred. Don't do anything for aesthetic. What makes you happy? What makes you comfortable? And do that.

30:24So should I just like do a giveaway of my journal? All right. So we're going to kick this episode and this year off with a giveaway. No, you know what I'm not going to do? I'm not going to do that because guess what? Not that I'm not in the giving mood. I don't even want you guys to get a whiff of what the journal looks like you guys are gonna be like Alex you were really you were really leaning into that cottagecore vibe in London you were trying to be something you're not and I'd be like read me to filth bitch you're so fucking right no the worst too was like my um my husband comes home and Matt goes what's this and I was like nothing nothing nothing and he was like what is it I'm like it's a journal and he was like oh are you gonna start journaling and I was like no he's like so why and I said just stop he was like oh okay Alex I'm like I'm gonna prove him wrong and just start like spite journaling no that goes against everything we just fucking said okay can we just go to France I need to stop I'm just gonna keep rambling okay questions of the motherfucking week I need to answer some of your questions let me help you because obviously you guys just helped me through that.

31:36I just need to talk that through. I haven't talked about it yet. I haven't talked about my fucking journal. Everything's fine. Okay, question number one.

32:00Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Sephora. from less is more days to full glam routines everything you need for all things beauty is at sephora yep sephora is where you will find the hottest newest products you won't find anywhere else the ones popping up in every get ready with me think summery fragrances like kayali eden plush pear 23 eau de parfum next level makeup the skincare that keeps you glowing like it's your full-time job shop the newest hottest beauty only at sephora call her daddy's brought to you by Hidden Valley Ranch this 4th of July as you gather to celebrate America's 250th birthday with friends and family.

32:42Hidden Valley Ranch, it will be right there with you. Even if you can't be with friends and family, Hidden Valley Ranch will be right there with you bringing the creamy, zesty flavor. Hidden Valley Ranch is truly, it is the star of any party spread. It is the star of my life. Can you tell? You could prep burgers, wings, kebabs with Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning before you even throw them on the grill. How about that? Or shake Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning onto pasta salad and fries. Boom. And then make dip and then maybe dip the fries into more Hidden Valley Ranch. Drizzle even more Hidden Valley Ranch onto your burger.

33:16Yes. Yes. And yes. Listen, my 4th of July. Boom. I'm going to have my Hidden Valley Ranch in my purse. If I have to leave the house, boom i'm pulling it out hidden valley ranch will be with me at all times honestly this entire summer okay the possibilities are endless and always delicious there is no wonder why hidden valley ranch isn't america's number one ranch baby the flavor speaks for itself celebrate this summer with the bold and delicious flavor of america now in a limited edition bottle available at walmart.com slash hidden valley question one hey alex i love my boyfriend and he's a genuinely good person but I'm starting to feel weird about our financial dynamic.

33:53I make significantly more money and end up covering most dates, trips, groceries, even random expenses like parking or Uber rides. He always says he'll get me back, but it rarely happens. I don't think he's using me intentionally, but I'm starting to feel resentful. How do you bring this up without sounding cold? Okay. That That is a recipe for disaster, whether it's money or whenever there's just like a clear imbalance in a relationship and it wasn't like a clear boundary that was set of like, oh, you handle this stuff. I handle this stuff. That's just where resentment is going to build. And especially when it comes to financial, this isn't something to fuck around with.

34:33Like this is a boyfriend and not to be a dick, but you're like, you don't know if you're marrying this person. And so to spend an exorbitant amount of money that you're essentially investing in this person and they're not equally participating in some capacity, I worry for you. So I do feel like this is completely valid to write this in. I think you need to set some base level boundaries of what you're willing to cover and you're going to contribute. I think if you can be honest with yourself first, you always have to first, I think, before going to the person, like what would make you happy? Like if you're like, I actually am just looking for a thank you.

35:10Like I actually don't care about covering the cost. I just need like thank yous and more just like honest, just like recognition. Great. Or are you like, I'm struggling. I need him to pay 50-50. Or even if you're not struggling, you just want him to go 50-50 with you. I think you need to know that before you go into that conversation. I also think you need to figure out what percentage you're comfortable with contributing. Like there's a lot of dynamics. mix, if you're going to live with this person, if you're going to one day marry this person, like, are you going to pay for the whole fucking wedding?

35:39Are you going to pay for the kids? Are you going to pay for the house? Like money conversations with partners at the end of the day are very, can be very uncomfortable. And if this person has genuine respect for you, I think you need to bring it up. I do suggest because there could be an element of embarrassment. Maybe he is not comfortable, obviously, with how much he's currently making. I do think you can go and really soft at first and loving just being like, hey, I just want to first acknowledge, like, I know this conversation is an awkward conversation. No one likes to talk about money. It's always going to be a little stiff and awkward.

36:13But I really do think we need to have this conversation for the good of our relationship, because I do feel an imbalance and I don't feel like we're in a position where this is being fully like fair. And I wanted to just have an open conversation about what I think would work for me. And then I want to hear obviously from you what would work from you. But yeah, this doesn't sound like something that is going to be sustainable unless you have an honest, open conversation. Finances are, it's harder. It's sex and finances. I feel like those are the two hardest fucking things to ever talk about. People always struggle with sex and finances.

36:47And to talk about them honestly and not to have lies or deceit or anger or resentment, you need to have really clear, open communication. And sometimes it leads to answers that you don't like, but then you have the answers instead of pouring money into this person. And then imagine if he's like, bitch, I never, I'm gonna pay for that shit. Like you, I expect you to pay for all this. Then you're probably gonna break up with him, but you need this intel, okay? We always need the intel, girls. Okay, question two. Hi, daddy. I'm engaged and genuinely so excited to get married, but my parents who have had a rocky marriage keep making comments about how marriage is very hard and just wait, it changes everything.

37:29I know they think they're being realistic, but it's just starting to feel like they're projecting their own issues onto me. How do I protect my excitement without dismissing their advice? Okay, I like, it is so annoying just past your parents when you're so excited about something and someone had a bad experience in their own life of like, you're pregnant, you're excited about kids, you turn to a fucking woman and she's like, you're gonna be miserable. You don't want that kid. oh my God, just wait, your life's about to get hell. And you're literally like, thanks, cunt. Thanks. I'm about to have to push this thing out in four months.

38:03But thanks, babe. Like, again, you can give advice, but to just be a negative Nancy, same thing if like, if you're going to go to like, I don't know, you get into some college or something you've never been excited about. Oh yeah. My sister went there. She fucking hated it. Okay, Becky, good for you. I bet your sister's a fucking whore. And she probably fucked the whole hockey team. And then they exiled her from campus. And I'm just kidding. That's not Becky can Becky's sister can do whatever the fuck she wants. Honestly, fuck the whole hockey team slay. But for you, do you know what I'm saying?

38:34Stop putting your shit on to other people. So when it comes to your parents, you obviously can't use the like, hey, mom, you're a fucking whore. We got it. We got to dumb it down a little bit here. We got to kind of go. We got to go non wrath because depending on your relationship with your parents, I would literally just say, guys, I know the two of you turmoil, turmoil, chaos, everything went wrong, right? And you've let me know this my whole life. Please give me a fighting chance to create my own version and my own history and my own legacy, okay? I have learned from you. You guys have so beautifully laid out how horrible your relationship was, how much you hate each other.

39:15I have been very cognizant of that. I have been very mindful of that. And I am trying to forge my own path. And I would love if you guys can support me. Obviously, I'm being like over the top, but you get the sentiment. Love you guys. I appreciate that you're looking out for me, but it's coming off as like your baggage onto me that like I don't I don't have this baggage yet, daddy. OK, Frederick hasn't cheated on me yet, dad, like you cheated on mom. OK, so give me a fighting chance. Give me a fighting fucking chance, dad. God, parents are so problematic. Isn't it crazy? Like growing up, even if parents are problematic, you're kind of like, ah, but it's like my parent.

39:55And then you're just kind of like, yeah, but that's like my parent. And even if you like hate them, you're like, but it's my parent. Then you become an adult and you're like, you guys are so fucking out of pocket, out of control. You guys need to go to therapy. You need to go to rehab. You need to keep 10 feet away from me. I need a restraining order. Like you start to see parents in a different light as you get older. And I think it's for the best. I think it's 100 % for the best. It may not be for the best interest of them and the family, but for you, it's for the best. Okay. Moving on next.

40:28Hey father, I've gotten really successful in my career and over the past few years with a couple of key promotions and raises, but I've almost been more anxious and more competitive. The higher I climb in the ranks, I feel like having this cutthroat job has just made me a meaner, less empathetic person. I don't like how work has taken over my personality. Am I in too deep? How do you decide whether a job is worth it when it's changing you in ways that you don't like? Oh, sweetie. Let me try to give you some advice. Because on one hand, I want to say when you are someone who is capable and smart and determined and you have a vision, there is nothing better than being rewarded and acknowledged for your hard work.

41:16And especially as a woman in any field, you're like, I'm actually succeeding and I'm growing and I'm moving forward. That's incredible. And so it seems like you are clearly a very capable person. What I understand in certain industries and almost all industries especially is like it can feel like a rat race. It can feel like it's never enough. It's never good enough. You never did enough work. You can never like and you're like I feel drained. And almost when you were at more of a baseline level there was less to lose. It felt more like you know you could see this trajectory and there was more of a climb.

41:54and you felt more like there were people above you that were dictating down to you where you're probably now dictating down to people and delegating down to people so there's more responsibility in your head. But I think what you have to recognize is like, as long as you do the work, you have to be able to compartmentalize your mental health to work. And if you're not able to do that, I think you should start writing down things of what you love about your job and what you're struggling about with your job because this could be an easy solve. Again, I don't know you, but like it could be as much as like, babe, when is the last time you went out to drinks with your girlfriend?

42:35Oh, but I stayed three extra hours at work that one day, but you do that every day. You stay three to four extra hours every day. So what if one day a week, every Tuesday or whatever is that one day of the week that you know is like a little less busy, you always have a set plan that is for you to release, whatever it is. Maybe you get a massage, Maybe it's going out with your girlfriends. Maybe if you have a partner, you're going on date nights, your whatever it is. Indulge yourself. Enjoy, like reap the benefits of your hard earned work. And I think if I can relate at all, like that is something that Matt is very helpful to me in where like I have a tendency to just put my head down and be like, I'm let's just go.

43:18Let's go. Let's go. because I'll be honest, and I'm sure a lot of people who work hard, you feel this like it's kind of easier sometimes to not fuck up your flow. It's kind of easier sometimes to just put your head down and be like, oh, I'm in grind mode. And you just keep going. And actually would in your head, you convince yourself that I can't, I don't deserve to go to that dinner or I can't, I can't indulge in a night out or a Friday of like drinking with my friends and all that, because that's going to set me back or it's just going to take me out of this bubble and like I'm in my bubble.

43:50Pop the fucking bubble. You're not going to be able to enjoy your success. I'm sure like you've said with these promotions and these raises, you're making more money now, right? Like you deserve to enjoy what you've worked so hard for. And I always think about this with myself and I hope this is relatable for you too. It's like think back to that young woman at that desk who had so many hopes and dreams and was grinding so fucking hard and would probably be like, holy shit, we got to that position. That's your title now. So instead of running away from the challenge, because you wouldn't be in this high energy of an environment if you didn't love it to some capacity.

44:33Look inward to find how you can carve out personal moments because, and I know that sounds so simple, but it's not. When you are someone who is a workaholic who grinds their fucking ass off 24 seven, it is harder to disengage from work and pop into a family dinner because then everyone's agitating you sometimes. You're like, you don't even know what's going on with my work. You don't even know how much I have on my project. So sometimes it's easier to self-isolate. Stop doing that. Stop, because guess what? The work will be right there when you get back. And knowing you, you're an overachiever, you're already ahead on your work.

45:21call her daddy is brought to you by sephora from less is more days to full glam routines everything you need for all things beauty is at sephora yep sephora is where you will find the hottest newest products you won't find anywhere else the ones popping up in every get ready with me. Think summery fragrances like Kayali Eden Plush Pair 23 Eau de Parfum. Next Level Makeup, the skincare that keeps you glowing like it's your full-time job. Shop the newest, hottest beauty only at Sephora. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Hidden Valley Ranch this 4th of July as you gather to celebrate America's 250th birthday with friends and family.

46:03Hidden Valley Ranch, It will be right there with you. Okay. Even if you can't be with friends and family, Hidden Valley Ranch will be right there with you bringing the creamy, zesty flavor. Hidden Valley Ranch is truly, it is the star of any party spread. It is the star of my life. Can you tell? You could prep burgers, wings, kebabs with Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning before you even throw them on the grill. How about that? Or shake Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning onto pasta salad and fries. Boom. And then make dip and then maybe dip the fries into more Hidden Valley Ranch. drizzle even more Hidden Valley Ranch onto your burger.

46:37Yes, yes, and yes. Listen, my 4th of July, boom, I'm going to have my Hidden Valley Ranch in my purse. If I have to leave the house, boom, I'm pulling it out. Hidden Valley Ranch will be with me at all times, honestly, this entire summer, okay? The possibilities are endless and always delicious. There is no wonder why Hidden Valley Ranch isn't America's number one ranch, baby. The flavor speaks for itself. Celebrate this summer with the bold and delicious flavor of America. Now in a limited edition bottle available at walmart.com slash hidden valley. The last thing I will say, if none of this was applicable, is you may also just be burnt out and this rat race of a job is not the job for you.

47:15And not wanting to push yourself to try to be the president of the company, that's okay. I think sometimes this, you know, hustle culture can convince people that you need to be the best at what you do and you need to go for this and you need to make this amount of money. That's not for everyone. There are different people all over the world. There are people that are like, I want to make this amount of money. I want to live this lifestyle. Great for you. There are people that are like, I will be so happy if I can just make this amount of money and I'm then able to pour this amount into this lifestyle.

47:44Great. Who are you? You have to answer that question for yourself first and then you can apply this advice. Are you closer to quitting your job or do you just need more balance? Boom. Okay. Last question. Hi, daddy. I need advice on how to handle my mom's constant comments about my weight. Before I keep reading this, can I just...

48:09My PSA wants to be to all the mothers and the mother-in-laws out there, but it seems as though they can't help themselves, right? Like, you can literally be like, oh, oh, oh, oh. You are such a fucking miserable bitch. Can you stop fucking commenting on my weight? If anything, maybe worry about yours a little bit more, Cassandra. Okay. Maybe worry about yourself. Okay. And you want to dig in and you want to make such a backhanded or a straight fucking handed comment back to her and rip her face off. But you can't because there's a power dynamic because this is your mother and she's been doing this, I'm assuming, since you were a young girl.

48:48This isn't new. This isn't, this isn't new. And so I don't even have the answer yet because I haven't even read your fucking question. I just read the first sentence and I'm literally like, can moms and mother-in-laws stop? How about this? Also, but it goes back to the, can women stop? Because I'm assuming this is a projection of your mother. Your mother is self-obsessed with weight. So she's putting onto you and she's only going to make you more self-obsessed because she's your mother. And this is the person who raised you. So how could this not rub off onto you? Even if you try your damnedest to not let it affect you.

49:23I'm so sick of people doing this to their children and then you become an adult. And we feel like as adults, it's easy for us to just be like, well, now you're an adult. Just tell your mom, like, mom, stop commenting on my weight. I'm like, yeah, you could tell your mom that. Yeah, you go have an honest, open, healthy conversation with your mother. Film it. Put it online. We'd all love to actually see. If you are capable, we'd love to actually see. We actually would love, please help us understand because child parent dynamics, even when you're the child and you're 40 and your parents are 70 and 80, it's still the child parent dynamic.

50:03It may feel like you're now the parent and they're the child, but it doesn't matter. You came out of them. Okay. There will always be a power imbalance. There will always be a hierarchy. So it is so fucked and unacceptable when parents do this to their children and put them in a position where what do you want your daughter to say? What do you want, Martha? What do you want, Martha? Okay. Martha, you're sending her down a spiral, Martha. Okay. Do you want to pay for her to go away to a clinic again? No. And guess why she would have to do that? Because you can't stop. You're perpetuating. Like these people are, but it's all again, because maybe her mother did it to her.

50:45So it's like, we, we, yes, we can have a level of perspective and grace to recognize that mothers probably learned this from their mothers and their trauma. And I've talked about this on colored idea before, and I'm so sorry, I'm not even going to read this comment. Cause this is, this is, this is, yes, this is basically, this is your question. Yes. Okay. My point is this, at some point we have two things. We have to stop the transgenerational trauma and we also have to take accountability of how we let other people's actions and words affect us. And that is the biggest crock of shit if I'm going to sit here and be like, so just go ahead.

51:27Go ahead. Go ahead, Gertrude. Do it, girl. Who cares if your mom told you to lose a couple LBs? You're good. Just ignore her. Put her on ghost mode. Ghost her. Like, okay, that's literally not possible. It is so, it is going to take years. It is going to take decades. There are going to be regressions. You are going to put up boundaries with parents. You are going to fall back on those boundaries. You are going to get in fights. You are going to placate. It is the pendulum for parent and child dynamics is so fucking complicated. And so when you though are able to even recognize this with your mother right now, my first advice to you is boundary setting and using your voice as a first step to see, does she respect a boundary?

52:14If she cannot respect when you ask her to stop inappropriately commenting on your weight, then you are going to have to say, I am no longer comfortable being around you if you are going to do that. Now, there you go. There's the next step. Okay. So now you're not going to see your fucking mom ever again. No, but if she can't respect your boundaries, but you still want to see her, then you're going to have to figure out a way to navigate. How can I find a way to not let these comments affect me? Because you can't make her change her actions, right? You can try. And if she doesn't, then what's your game plan?

52:49And it just goes on and on and on and on. And I'm not to make us all feel horrible because I'm now like, OK, where do we go from here? It's actually it's actually this. There is nothing more heartbreaking than looking at a parent and saying, I wish so badly you could hear me and you could see me and you could understand what I'm trying to express to you right now. but they're still looking at your like your five-year-old kid and they're either going to grow with you and appreciate and embrace boundaries even if it's a little uncomfortable or they're not you're then going to have to take some accountability of how you navigate that dynamic knowing that these people potentially and a lot of them won't change and that is where it's hard because I think a lot of us just keep fighting the back and forth and what really sucks is when you start to go, okay, now it's on you.

53:47So don't invite her to the dinner tonight and let her know it's because you cannot be around her and food at the same time. And that is a boundary. And until she's ready to adjust her behavior, she cannot come to family dinners with you and your husband and the children. Done. Now let me say that. It makes me want to crawl out of my skin and fucking die because to do that to your own mother, you're like, oh my God, she's going to kill me. But it's your life. When does it not become your mom's life and it's your life, right? So guys, I could do a whole fucking episode on parent dynamics with children.

54:24And I think we're all probably daddy gang getting to that age where we're more getting to that point where you're like, I'm kind of becoming the parent of my parents, right? And how does that feel? And how do you navigate that? I think there's so many really tough dynamics that I empathize with you guys and I see you guys because it's like this is that's one of the hardest. It's harder than a romantic relationship most of the time, right? Because that power dynamic has been since you opened your fucking eyes and you took your first fucking breath on this earth. They have not saying it's manipulative, but just conceptually, if you're thinking about romantic and things can be toxic, they've had your claws in you since you were a fucking fetus.

55:09Jerry's known you for fucking two months. OK, you're like, I can't get out of this toxic relationship. Jerry has just been like, well, my babe, he's doing you for two fucking months. OK, mama bear over here. She's known you for 32 fucking years. She is the master of all masters when it comes to toxic manipulation. but yeah Jerry's child's play honey okay Jerry doesn't have shit on Ruth okay Ruth Ruth knows how to get in there Ruth knows your trauma Ruth knows what you were insecure about Ruth knows how to get in there Ruth knows everything Jerry Jerry just told you your fucking pussy smelled once and you were like Jerry like no when you have a fucked up mother or mother-in-law oh boys start to look like fucking pennies.

55:54You're like, babe, can you shut the fuck up? I'm dealing with a war over here. Okay. You're on the fucking playground. Okay. I don't even care about this. This over here with the mothers and the fathers. Oh, that shit. That shit fucking stings. So anyways, um, bye. No guys, I'm not going to leave you hanging. I feel like even if you don't want it, I promise you I will do an episode about parents and parenting your own parents as we get older and all those things because that couldn't be more fucking relevant to, I'm assuming, a lot of you right now. So I love you guys so much. 2026 is the year of growth if you want it, if you want to do it.

56:44If not, totally regress, totally text him back, totally unblock all the exes and just get back into your old rosters like do whatever the fuck you want okay ignore social media fuck all those people that are making like guess what it's most of it's all fake okay I know a lot of these people trust me it's all fake okay so um enjoy your fucking 2026 don't don't put a lot of pressure on yourself and pop the puss and happy fucking new year bitches love you bye

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59:18Disclaimer, streaming benefits included while you maintain a qualifying experience beyond plan line. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Hidden Valley Ranch. This 4th of July, as you gather to celebrate America's 250th birthday with friends and family, Hidden Valley Ranch, it will be right there with you. Okay, even if you can't be with friends and family, Hidden Valley Ranch will be right there with you bringing the creamy, zesty flavor. Hidden Valley Ranch is truly, it is the star of any party spread. It is the star of my life. Can you tell? You could prep burgers, wings, kebabs with Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning before you even throw them on the grill.

59:56How about that? Or shake Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning onto pasta salad and fries. Boom. And then make dip and then maybe dip the fries into more Hidden Valley Ranch. Drizzle even more Hidden Valley Ranch onto your burger. Yes, yes, And yes, listen, my 4th of July, boom, I'm going to have my Hidden Valley Ranch in my purse. If I have to leave the house, boom, I'm pulling it out. Hidden Valley Ranch will be with me at all times, honestly, this entire summer, okay? The possibilities are endless and always delicious. There is no wonder why Hidden Valley Ranch isn't America's number one ranch, baby.

1:00:27The flavor speaks for itself. Celebrate this summer with the bold and delicious flavor of America. Now in a limited edition bottle available at walmart.com slash hidden valley.