Trisha Paytas: Internet Trolls, Kidnapping & Nudes (FBF)

0:02What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with call her daddy. trisha paytas welcome to call her daddy i'm so excited um daddy gang we're gonna be really honest with you right now we were just recording for a solid 10 minutes we were cruising down the freeway we were thriving and then we realized it wasn't recording and it was gold that 10 minutes were gold and we can't recreate it you're like pretend we didn't do any of that i'm like i can't recreate that gold everything was going amazing so if you guys feel like we're a little on edge cheer and ready like ready to end it all it's because we are okay um I was saying to you Trisha congratulations you just announced your second child tell me how you're feeling again I feel very excited from the beginning I'm like do we go through everything we just said yeah where did the names come from I always love Elvis and Malibu before the movies came out from 10 I'm a middle child older brother younger sister you're the baby who are you closer with brother sister you're like I'm gonna get in trouble and that's when it cut you guys we literally went through okay no we are doing it again how are you feeling talk to me about all the food that you can eat because you're pregnant oh I just feel oh yeah that's what we were saying it's like see now I forgot already um yeah I just feel like usually I do eat what I want but I feel guilty about it now I just eat what I want don't feel guilty because you know you're like growing a baby so you're growing a baby you're allowed to just like shove food into your mouth and no one can get mad at you or judge you it's like fuck off I'm pregnant leave alone yeah and most of the time I don't care what other people think it's usually what I think so it's usually like oh no I don't feel bad now I'm like oh I'm not judging myself and I can sleep all that I want usually like I gotta be busy I gotta do but now I just take naps and I don't even feel any guilt.

1:36You're napping and you're eating. Yeah, it's the best. I'm so happy for you. That's why I love being pregnant. You said you want more than two. Well, we thought two. I don't know. I don't know. We don't have two yet. One is very difficult. Right. In my head, I'm thinking like four, you know, because we were talking about how three is like hard. So I was like, it's two or four. Okay, I know I already asked you this, but just to set the scene for people, where did you grow up? I would split my time between Illinois and California. My dad was in California and my mom was in Illinois, so I went back and forth a lot.

2:03I quit school a lot to like be homeschooled and something I'd go back into school like I was constantly doing that because I loved I loved like the lifestyle here in California with my dad but you know my mom is what I used to and like we lived in a town of like a thousand people back in Illinois so it was like two extremes yeah we were you closer with your mom or your dad um I mean definitely my mom yeah like my dad I saw like the summers you know what I mean yeah um but my dad I think in that though I thought my dad was so cool because he was like in California and I was like even though like obviously he was the worst of the parents my mom literally raised us I always felt bad saying like my dad was the best I feel like that happens so much when you come from divorced parents the one that's like the cooler one is actually just the one that never had to like instill any boundaries or like tell you like you're grounded because you did this yeah or like just was not the one parenting as much oh yeah and then you grow up and you're like oh yeah dad maybe not as fabulous as mom putting in all the work all the work my mom worked four jobs bus driver bartender all this stuff like that and i'm like i love my dad more it was like so weird but yeah especially at the wedding we had the wedding and like my dad walks us down the aisle and gives the speech and my moms don't get anything at the wedding and they do all the work i kind of felt bad yeah and my mom still helps us out she's like watching our daughter right now

3:29can you kind of paint the picture though like before high school just like of your childhood I feel like obviously so much of like who we are is from our childhood and I know you just mentioned like your mom was working for jobs like can you kind of just paint the picture growing up in Illinois with your mom um yeah we lived in like these farm towns and they were yeah they were less than a thousand people we kind of moved around a little bit because I don't know I just never liked school and um yeah it was just small it was a small town it was a farm town so everyone and my mom like was from there so it's just like farm town my grandparents were on a farm and there's just not much to it to be honest it's really just it was so boring and I just I hated it I haven't been back since I think I left at 17 and I have not been back since oh my god do you think if you landed in Illinois like would you get triggered yeah yeah for sure even just going to Chicago which is like two hours from where I could live I'm like not Illinois no I kind of relate to that though and I think a lot of people especially during the holidays like I've seen people always say like it's triggering to go back to your hometown because one I think we like repress so many memories and two it just like it just reminds us of a version of ourselves that like if you were cool in middle school and high school like kudos to you but like I wasn't I was like not really either I wasn't like bullied really I mean a little tiny bit like everybody but I wasn't cool either so I just neutral just everywhere just kind of neutral what did you want to be when you were growing up a famous famous I just wanted to be famous and this was before like reality tv so i was like i need to be a singer or an actress but i can't do either of them but i came out to do it because that's all you got famous back then so when you're sitting in illinois are you like were there any like tv shows or magazines or anything that you were watching or like people you were like i want to be like that person like britney spears of course did you tell people in your town you wanted to be famous yeah i was mostly i was voted most likely to be famous in one i think two of my yearbooks i was most likely to be famous yeah just because i like was I just liked attention and like I said I don't know I just I feel like I always stood up you know I feel like you just kind of know if you have like a little it factor you know so I knew I had something but I was like it wasn't talent so I was like how do I parlay this going back to high school like did you have a lot of girlfriends no no I was I was I wouldn't say it picked me but I definitely was like girls are chum I used to be that I used to be the girl that like did not like girls because of that reason because I was just intimidated I just thought oh no guy's gonna look at me if I'm in a room of girl I just was not a girl's girl like it took me a while um now I'm only a girl's girl like can't stand like men but it took me a while I definitely was insecure never wanted to be around girls you know what I mean I just I think I was always a girl hater especially just like I just never felt good enough I never felt skinny enough pretty enough I never had boyfriends until I was like 30 so yeah no I think that's relatable though of like when especially when we're younger like we're constantly comparing ourselves in rooms because at that age it's also like what guy likes what girl and if you're not getting picked then you feel like a loser and you feel like fuck like I wish I looked like them and then it's just this comparing game that you can never win definitely so it's hard to like I had that a lot where I like my best friend was like the gorgeous one and I was always like I love you so much but like fuck me yeah don't be around me right like can you move a little to the fucking right because you look too good in parties and I'd be like I'm literally never gonna get chosen if you are sitting next to me yeah and it's hard with girls but it's like now I look back and I'm like oh my god it wasn't actually about us competing with each other it was about the men that we were trying to like appease their standards and had nothing to do with the girls like liking each other not it's all a bet based off of if guys like of course with everything with acting with anything it's just like you know it's just what they what they approved of what they liked it had nothing to do with you so I know I wish I would have found my own lane earlier because I and I do love pretty girls I'm like I actually like am obsessed with pretty girls I just like was just too scared to be around them no it is intimidating like I agree like you and and also it's hard to not be envious of like yeah I wish I had what you have and like I wish I was you but at the end of the day once you get to know those people a lot of times they've got their own shit oh for sure not perfect either oh no for sure I was always envious of you I was very envious of you I remember like when I I think it was like 2019 2018 you girls were on impulsive and I remember being like and I didn't know anything about podcasts I didn't know how people got podcasts and I remember just being so jealous I was like wow they have a job where they're just like talking and talking about sex I was like I could do that that could be me and I was like how did they get this and you girls were so much younger I was like so jealous and then obviously when you get your Spotify idea I was just like oh my god you know I was I was that person who was so jealous dude it's so funny Trisha because I remember just like watching you on YouTube so often and I would be so jealous of you because before I started my career I'm like I wish I had Trisha's platform I wish I could like sit on YouTube and like do what she does that's crazy because I was like alone and crying all the time like I wish I could be that person that is so crazy that we're both like oh I was jealous of you oh for sure I definitely was I definitely was just like I don't get call her daddy I definitely was so when I did this I was like all I know is that clip is going to be resurfacing so let me just go ahead and say it it's so funny because I had one of my really good friends now she went on a podcast at one point and was like I don't get the call her daddy girl shtick it's so fucking dumb why are they acting like that they're like acting like little whores like i i'm the first person and i think that we can talk about that too with your career of like by having a career on the internet you just say so much stuff and half of the time in the beginning days i felt like i also said stuff that i regret and i remember in those og days back in the day with my old co-host like we when we started to get desperate for views we would like say stuff about celebrities and i'm so deeply embarrassed that we said those things but I know it wasn't coming from a place of like actually being like mean girls it was I know from my POV it was genuinely just like how do we stir shit up yeah and if you can teeter this line that's so unhealthy and you just become like how do we get more how do we get more oh yeah and I'm like why did I say that so if that clip resurfaces I wouldn't give a fuck I literally wouldn't Trisha because I first of all you didn't know me yeah you had never met me i was just jealous 100 because honestly as soon as they called for this like literally like my management from canada flew in they're like this i'm like yes this is the biggest thing you know what i mean so i think but i really try in the past especially since being 30 i really try now to really just not hate on girls even if like everyone's hanging on them i really try to find like even with jada pink i'm like i try to find like the good side of this i'm like you know she down through a lot now she could so i try to i try to keep it positive with every girl you know i agree you're right i think what we can both understand it's like being in the media a lot of times when we do the stupidest shit is when we're hurting the most and so trying to find like any type of empathy for anyone when you see someone like acting out it's like what the hell are they going through there's still people that like i can like oh i just can't find the silver lining but i just go i scroll past but now i don't like to say anything i'm like let me just if you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all so i i feel like i've matured a lot and like i don't really like hate on girls but if there is a girl that annoys you and there is like i just annoy some people just you know I just keep it going it just makes you look bad like I just look so bad like you said I just look so bad talking like so much crap about people but I really can tell you like it came always from a place of like jealousy always like I used to talk about like the D 'Amelios when they were like 18 and 16 and I was just like I was so jealous that I wasn't me but I was like 30 years old being like oh my god you're spitting out a snail how ungrateful like you know they're 18.

10:34No but I also think that comes from a place too of like people on the internet then probably like writing to you being like saying mean things about like oh I get it now like relevancy or like age as a woman and it's like as a woman if you're past the age of 21 you're like old as fuck oh yeah and you're outdated and so naturally that's going to cause resentment of us feeling like when you see younger girls but really we shouldn't be mad at younger girls we should be mad at society and mainly men being the ones that tell us like after certain age you're not valued anymore it's a thousand percent true right right exactly fuck you I love it.

11:11No, it's true. It is true. I want to talk about you going to LA. So you graduate high school and I remember reading like the day after you moved to LA. Yeah. Like literally the day of. Yeah. What was your plan and what was your job when you got to LA? Um, well I initially moved with my dad. So that was the first thing I like lasted about. He wanted me to go to college. So I went to like two weeks of like community college. It did not work out because I never had a math class in my life in high school. So I took like a pre algebra and I like had no idea what's going on so I was like I drop out um and so yeah I got on a tv show right away that I got on a show called the Greg Barrett show it was like filmed at Culver Studios it was like a syndication show it was like a talk show and so I did like 10 episodes of that I was in Sega after so I was getting like you know $1 ,700 an episode which was like so much it was great and then I got another show with Stan Lee called Who Wants to Be a Superhero was on SyFy so I was like crushing it but I was like 18 and then like 19 hit and then I kind of like I had no money nothing and then that's when I did the whole stripping escorting well I wouldn't even say escort I was like a hooker on the street but I like to say escorting it sounds like fancier trisha slow down yeah hold on trisha's like i can go i live out fast you can talk you're like i can go through my entire life story literally i'm like trisha we need to like get an hour and i'm like we gotta get to 35 okay first of all i'm dying at your math comment because i was so fucking bad at math shout out to oscar he was this kid in my math class that he would i would sit next to oscar and i would pretend i'm writing my whole math class doing to do to do doing nothing then when Oscar was done his he would hand me his test and I would hand him my test and he would take my test for me and he would like even like change like his writing to be more girly and then Oscar would hand me back my test and I would go hand it in I'm like Oscar I knew he was like going to Harvard or something and I was just like not meant for math and I just knew like there's there's gonna be a phone for a reason that has a calculator I don't need to know like the square root of things you manifested or you knew there was already cell phones back then.

12:59Way to have cell phones in high school. So I don't know. We did have cell phones, but you know, I just like manifested this is going to happen one day. I was like, wow, you made the iPhone happen.

13:12Honestly, I absolutely will take credit for that. Yes. I absolutely made the iPhone happen for sure. 100%. And then I know I was like, I just knew I didn't need math in my fucking life. Cause I knew I wanted to be in entertainment. Did you ever cheat in school? No, I've never had friends. So, like, my friends were literally, like I said, I was just, like, hitting up, like, celebrities, just trying to be like, hey. But I've never had friends in school. Never have friends now. I'm just not a friend person. I don't know. But I'm really trying now with my daughter. I really am, like, being, trying to be as social as possible.

13:43Like, we're going to birthday parties for her. Because I just don't want her to grow up like that with, like, no friends. I don't really mind. It doesn't make me sad because I don't know any different. Yeah. And also, I'm just, like, not a great friend because I'm not someone to, like, hang out with all the time. I've just never been that person. So, but I'm trying out for my daughter. Like, we got to make her friends, make sure she's social. And yeah. Okay. Let's talk about you saying so casually when you're talking this fast, you're like, okay. And then I'm going to just. I love it. You said you have an hour.

14:03So I was like, let's get it in an hour. Our podcast was like three and a half hours. I'm like, I got to get it all in. No, I was more saying, Trisha, we need to at least get to an hour. You're going to talk about your whole life story in 30 seconds. You're like, okay. So then I went to this. I know. I know. Okay. So you got finally after like you were in LA for a second, you were having some success and then you just casually were like, and then I became a stripper and an escort, but not really what happened. Yeah. Yeah. So I just had like no money. I was just like running out of money. My mom like was helping me as much as she could.

14:29And then she kind of ran out of money. I like maxed out her cards and stuff. So we all ran out of money. She had a husband at the time. So she was like living with him and she was like fine. But my dad was not in the picture at all. Like he hated that I moved out, like cut me off completely. So I had like no help, no money. And so I didn't know what to do. I didn't like, I wasn't educated. like you know I didn't have a college degree so I had no idea I tried to do like the regular jobs you know like making smoothies and stuff but that was just like not for me either and I just you know loved the stripper life as like in movies like I loved it I thought it was like so glamorous so like this is going to be for me but like my stripper life was not glamorous I was like literally at like Canoga Park like VNI's like Godfathers it was like super sketchy I wanted to be at Spearmint Rhino but that was like the bougie pretty girls with the fake boobs already I was in like I don't know if you know Godfathers it's just like sketchy so yeah I had a stripper life and And then, yeah, then I just, you know, I think casually then you just start, because like Hansa Paul, there's like a bunch of hookers.

15:21Like, so I just casually started like going on the street. Because you just get more money that way. Don't split up the club and stuff like that. But I was like, I was kind of like out of my mind there. I would never, I don't consider myself like an addict, but I definitely was using a lot back then. Okay. Can I ask what you were using? Back then it was just like, I did a lot of coke. I did a lot of like, I didn't do meth until like 2019, but I did do stuff that I didn't know. Maybe it was like, you know, the ones where you snort with like rocks. I don't know if that's meth. I don't know what it was.

15:45But I was like snorting rocks. Yeah. I literally didn't know what any of the drugs were. I just know I did a lot of – just everything was snorting. Okay. And one was like really rocks. Like it was just like hurt my nose all the time like that. And so I was just – yeah, I was just doing a lot of that stuff. I was just like out of my mind. Honestly, whatever people gave me. And at 18 and 19, you're just kind of like don't care. You know, I didn't care. I was like I don't really care where my life goes. When you said your dad cut you off, like what happened? Oh, just because like I didn't want to do school.

16:11and he's just like I'm not gonna support you and yeah I mean you were on your own yeah so I was like okay were you scared at all whenever you were stripping like were there any moments where you like got into situations where you're like I am like a little scared oh yeah I feel like all of it like going home without guys all the time like yeah it's crazy that like I'm alive it all scared me um I guess at the time you just didn't get scared because you don't think about it right no I I get that I think it's like when you almost like can get into something that you just kind of fall into and then you can almost just like keep going down that rabbit hole and you almost don't know when like to stop or when to like check yourself because again you're right at that age like if you don't have someone like that's a parent being like stop it you kind of can just start to go wild and like not know like what is bad what is good and I'm finding myself and I'm figuring myself out and if you didn't have friends like you kind of had no one probably to compare yourself to like my friends aren't doing this had you ever done drugs before you went to LA no no I was super good I never drank like I just didn't I wasn't having like sex in high school or something like that because I just never I never was that person I don't know so maybe I just thought like LA be wild you know what I mean I thought and again I think being insecure I just was like you thought like having sex meant like you're so attracted like everybody wants you you know right and you get paid for it like that's actually insane like to me I was like oh my gosh like people are gonna pay me to have sex with them that's wild you're right though I can see what you're saying of like going from like being in a position where you're like oh like I wanted to be liked by these men and then to get this profession where like they all love you and they're all paying attention to you but then I can imagine like the drugs probably made you get into situations like could you share any stories of just like situations you got into that you woke up and you're like why did this happen oh my gosh I mean honestly a lot of them that I like blacked out I mean really just I mean I've been kidnapped a bunch of times where it's just like you wake up in like a truck and the truck's moving and stuff like that yeah Trisha yeah pause sorry what yeah I got kidnapped well I guess I don't know if it's kidnapping if you're over 18 but I was 19 I've been abducted I guess it's kidnapping no matter if you're 45 wait really yes I could be kidnapped at 35 yes okay we we yeah I was yeah can you walk me but it's like it's in the sense where it's like I don't know where I'm at like I go with somebody and all of a sudden you wake up you're like oh in someone's truck and stuff like that at one point in your life you woke up in the back of a truck I mean multiple times yeah for sure yeah it's crazy there's like and you know back then again you don't think in there but you're like well I went with this person willingly so yeah you know something about stuff like that when you would wake up in the back of those trucks like what did you do you kind of just don't do anything well you know you're like coming off a drug so you kind of just like let things happen you're just like oh and then they like let you off or something like that so you kind of just and you don't again I just I didn't think of it like anything I hear people talk about their stories and for me it just like I say it casually because it's to me it almost seems casual like it almost seems like oh well that's what I was doing I guess even if I didn't want it or like someone like you know brought me with them like it's kind of a I don't know I'm like well this is the life I chose you know which is like such a weird way to think and of course anybody else in the situation I'd be like oh my god that's so awful but for me I just thought well this is what I chose but I think also there's a level of like Like at some point you kind of have to just like disconnect from it because a lot of that like for any woman listening like that is I'm sitting here being like sorry you woke up in the back of the truck like that's so scary.

19:34I do think obviously when you're on drugs though everything can become way less intimidating because your senses are like not heightened whatsoever. You're just like kind of in a sedated state. Yeah. So like you can't really you don't have the ability to like make maybe the decisions you would make when you're sober. Oh for sure. um but when you look back at yourself in those situations like how do you feel it's almost like I just don't even know that life you know it's kind of like my high school life I don't know that life I don't know like there's so many stages I look back on and I'm like oh I don't even like recognize like I remember it um but some of I don't even like recognize you know what I mean because I was just so such a different person and it almost it almost seems like I'm telling a story you know what I mean like it almost doesn't seem like my life it's almost like this is a story about this girl but like it like you know and I it took me a while I didn't go to therapy for like a really long time and even in therapy now I like don't talk about it because it's just like it's not trauma to me you know stuff that happened to me as a kid too I'm just like oh it's not trauma even though like it is yeah it's just like I don't know I don't like it's like it's not something I'm like uncomfortable talking about what with like therapy I like don't get deep into it because I'm like it's fine and they're like no it's not but I'm like to me it's fine like you know it doesn't I don't think it affected me but they're saying it does and it probably did because I mean I am kind of I was messed up for a long time so well yeah I think a lot of the time it's like the body keeps things in but like if you've done such a good job essentially like dissociating from it like I get what you're saying like you're telling the story but you don't personally feel that affected by it right now because you have survived through it and you're like I don't really like connect to that person anymore which I think is how a lot of people survive and I think there's also like a stigma where people which I completely understand when people would look at you being like well you have to figure it out you have to solve it I think that there's a lot of people that don't want to go and relive some things and I think that's okay obviously if it's like significantly affecting your life to this day where like you're having like whether you're feeling like if you're having sex you're getting triggered or you're having PTSD or flashbacks like that's usually when to like open it back up but like definitely I think everyone has to figure it out on their own time yeah I definitely had that I've definitely had that where I had to like talk to someone because it was like if someone like touched me like I was you know it's like just dealing with all that stuff so I've definitely dealt with that for sure but yeah yeah I'm curious like going through that with men and like being in positions where obviously I'm sure like you've kind of alluded like there's taken like taking advantage moments like how did you kind of like rebuild your relationship to men I think I just like always hated men and I feel like I'm still kind of there especially like giving birth I just had like such bad experiences with men like not understanding postpartum like just so I just and I just all my life is just like any type of man I'm just like I don't know I feel like I wanted their like validation and they were all awful so I feel like I have still such a strong hatred I think there's anything to fix it's like maybe my hatred towards men and like it's like it's not even just like me being this feminist men suck you know it's just like I really dislike them and when I like have to talk to a straight like this year I really made a conscious effort to do only female podcasts like I'm like don't want to talk to like men like I don't know what it is and it's like that's obviously not right either you want to like be equal and like you know not hate men yeah no but I get what you're saying I think like when you've been like fucked over or wronged by men or even just as simple as like they don't understand women and there are some men that when you're actually looking at them in the eyes you're like oh you don't get what I'm talking about you don't get what I'm like even trying to say to you and that can be so infuriating and it's not worth our time sometimes like it's not our job to educate men on why we should be treated equally to them or why we should like you have respect like yeah if you're talking so there are some men that are great like your husband's great but like overall I get what you're saying of like the trauma of having men fail you so many times in your life why would you like them yeah and that's how I feel and you're right there are there are like my husband's like amazing and I have like a friend that has like an amazing husband too and it's like there are some good ones but then you hear on tiktok so many horror stories of men that don't want to change diapers or they don't want to like be playing the wedding or they like just constantly like like that to me is like so and I hear it all the time I'm like that's so like triggering i'm just like you know what i mean just the way they treat women it just makes me so upset i don't know it's so fucked up and then to see like how many women men then want to have like a say on what women do with their bodies oh well that's a whole other that's yeah girl that's what i'm saying with like postpartum or hormones when you're pregnant all the stuff you know all the abortion stuff and so it's just like it's infuriating that like men have a say period and i just feel like men should not have a say ever about anything like just don't say anything like giving birth giving after like after i gave birth i had so many guys online like criticize me for taking fentanyl for having a c-section because i was you know i had an addiction to like drugs at one point and like oh well she said she never took drugs but she took fentanyl for a c-section i'm like they they make you because they're cutting you open like i don't get the choice not to really so yeah and so i think all that really made me hate men even more and straight and gay because you know what i mean like they both kind of don't get sometimes so i was like oh so even i had like a hairdresser i just like i had all this now it's like okay now i'm letting gay men back into my life war but like the straight men it's still hard for me you know what i mean and it's it's one thing And I think because I'm married now, I don't even really need them as I used to think I needed them in the past was like dating and stuff.

24:36When you're in the dating world, like I'm sorry, but like I get it. Women are always going to try to like look cute for the day and look this way and talk this way. Like there are little things we always do because we still live in a man's world. So it's like we have to be delicate with how we unravel it. But once you're in a healthy, safe relationship, it's kind of nice. You're right to be like, I now don't need anything. And if I'm going to interact with men, it's going to be on my terms. Yeah, it's the best. It's the best feeling. it's just so great and I'm like I don't care if I'm skinny enough I don't care if I'm if there's a prettier girl in the room to me like none of it matters you know so it's just like it's so freeing it's so wonderful like you said if you're in a good relationship the wrong relationship will make you feel the opposite that's almost worse than being in the dating game oh yeah yeah that's awful you're like yeah I'm sure like I'm sure so many women including ourselves sitting here have been in those type of relationships where you're like I am a shell of a human I was I was better off when I was dating a bunch of assholes but going on dates rather than being with one guy that has your claws and you look so like manipulative and like emotionally or physically abusive whatever it is like the worst calling you crazy judging what you eat connie how many nuggets you eat it's like that to me and I thought I was like so in love and then you look back and you're just like oh my god this person like hated me but I was trying so hard everything I could and I'm like and it's happened yeah it's happened I've only been in like two relationships so it's like both my relationships you had a man that would count how many chicken nuggets you would eat what's on camera no yeah it's like still out there it's like compilations of all the time yeah it's like that to me is the most traumatic thing of my life i've been kidnapped probably over 40 times but that was the most traumatizing thinking about it i like disassociate right now i'm like oh no i like get scared i don't know it's like such a weird thing you're like leave me the fuck alone let me eat my nuggets in peace you piece of shit it was it's like so it's actually like traumatizing when I think back I'm like oh my god and to this day I literally had to cry the other night like we were eating pasta like something triggered me from like that relationship and I was just like and it's so weird like I'm so like I never think about it whatever but there's like this like I was eating this pasta and I was like oh my god I just started like crying and I was just like I feel like a disgusting person for eating this and my husband is like so great he's just like pasta is like the most like popular food it's in every country like what like it's totally normal for you to eat this right it's like it's like wipe your tears and eat your pasta yeah okay I read a study that like pasta makes you happier I repost that on my Instagram all the time I always need to see it yeah I was like repost I'm like absolutely happier let's go pasta every night I eat pasta every day usually I don't care and then like I don't know there are days started a spiral for some reason I totally get it yeah

27:19when you were talking about your time in LA and like struggling with drugs did you ever have like a rock bottom moment where you're like I've got it so many so many that was that was rock bottom moment in like when I was 19 that happened like I literally I lived next to his name was Christopher Dennis he was the Hollywood Superman there's a documentary made about him and he he recently passed he was so sad but he um he found me just completely like in piss and shit all this stuff because my apartment didn't even have a doorknob. It was on Yucca and Highland. There was like no doorknob. I think it's still there.

27:48It's like behind a liquor store now. And he like found me and like my dad and I hadn't talked for like two and a half years at this point. And I don't know how, I don't know if he called and whatever, but my dad like showed up, took me to like Riverside Hospital. I was in there for like three weeks in like 2007, 2008. And yeah, and then I kind of got a little better. Then my dad was trying to get me back to go to college, did that for like six months. And then I moved back out again. My mom came out. So, but that was the rock bottom. and then 2019 was my rock rock bottom 2019 was my the meth I was in three mental hospitals I that's when I was like really hardcore into math there was two guys that I dated um who both have since passed from overdoses and um yeah I was just I was just wild I think I slept with probably like 200 guys that one year three mental hospitals like just really beside myself the internet oh my god everybody was making like hate videos about me like PewDiePie made a hate video I was like oh oh my God, like what did I even do?

28:41So it was like my rock, rock bottom. And which is ironically, I was the skinniest. So sometimes it's like I want to be skinny. And then I was like, oh, maybe not. That 2019 was rough. Oh my God. Wow. And that was documented that 2019. That was a rough year for me. Because you were on YouTube at that point. Yeah, I was making like a lot of videos. There's a lot of deleted videos with the people I was with. Yeah, it just was really like crazy. Let's talk about your OG YouTube days. because yes there were some videos put out that like people considered controversial and people like try to bring your old YouTube videos back to this day like you got involved in like I feel like a good bit of drama back then like when you look back at the OG YouTube days how do you feel about them and how would you even describe them it's like so many eras of YouTube too like the OG ones were just like so great it was like well before you could make money on YouTube it was just like fun and then you start making money and then it's like where do you find your niche like I said I never felt like I had like talent so I was like what can I do oh I can like piss people off I can do this so I definitely went like the trolling route because it was like the most money I ever made without having to like strip or hook and I was just like this is it you know so yeah I definitely had a lot of like problematic videos and just stuff that like I didn't necessarily even think I think if I was like me I could like hold stronger to like oh I was just like young or whatever but it was just like stuff I'd hear other people say that were like and I would just like repeat it I just wanted to be shocking and um you know and I like I totally own up to it and I look back at my videos I'm like well you know some of them are pretty bad but I try to give myself grace and forgiveness with that because I used to be really hard on myself I'm like I know I suck I'm problematic and to this day like I don't get sponsored on my podcast like shout out to our patreon like our patreons do it and so you know it's great but um yeah I definitely forever have like this like mark on me on the internet of like kind of like she's a little controversial or you know you just people don't want you like around but you know it's fine like again I my word of wise to people when I see people trolling now on the internet is like just maybe don't because it'll like follow you forever people will think of you as that forever and rightfully so like you know like those clips will always be out there and people either see the change in the growth or they don't and I think either one you just have to like work with you know but I do think it's helpful that you're like explaining your backstory and that's why I wanted to talk to you about it today because it's like for sure I bet I'll get comments being like why the fuck are you having Trisha Paytas on like what the fuck yeah I totally understand that I also though think it's important like the fact that you just said like I could make more money doing this than stripping and hooking it's like okay like it's good to know someone's backstory and I think when again when you're saying those type of things usually the people that are saying those things you're not in a great place never oh my gosh oh back then I just couldn't I didn't care about me my I didn't think anything of the future I was just like I need to make money now I'm just gonna piss people off I don't care I don't have friends for a reason never thinking like it would be a full career or anything you know that's what I also think sometimes like people feel like they're lucky because they can make their fake accounts but like god forbid one day all of your fake account comments and trolling and you like telling people to go kill themselves or whatever like there are people on the internet that are so ruthless but they don't have the balls to do it publicly and have their own name on it if that god forbid you walked into work one day and all of your comments were placed on your own desk like would you be fired or not and i think it like if you look inward all of those people are not in a good place and clearly you weren't either yeah and you've kind of had this like redemption arc but like when you look back do you think you were addicted to the drama once you started to see the money oh yeah i mean for so long like a good like 10 12 years i I was so addicted.

32:17I was just so miserable. So like any attention was good attention. Money was just money. You know what I mean? So it just, yeah, it's, it is crazy. But I did reap the karmatic, you know, effects of it all. So it does, like you said, even the trolls. I think it, I think it's so real. I think karma is so real. And like I've reaped all of that 10 times over, I'm sure. And still do to this day. We get a sponsor and like everyone harasses them. Like don't, so we lose, at this point I'm like don't even give us sponsorships. Because I just know. So it's fine. luckily I have my ways to make money but yeah you just you reap it for a long time so why do you think though second chances are so important because I think people do like change I think majority of humans evolve as human beings especially when you get older when you're find happiness when you find love like you mean people do change and I think like that's the whole point of humanity right is like the evolution of it all like I think our society shows that like you know from like us in like the 60s you know with like segregation you know I think it's like just shown like obviously people are like change so I think that's important otherwise you never like never can grow and never can like you know um but yeah I've had second third fourth fifth sixth years so I'm appreciative of all of them some people don't deserve them some people don't want to give them to you but I do think it's important to like try to see people changing yeah I think I really think people do and can I agree I think also it's really difficult on the internet when you have a persona that I even feel it sometimes like I feel like sometimes I've met people and they're like oh my gosh like I thought you were gonna be such a bitch you're gonna be this and I'm like oh like I mean I don't know you can be honest like what you thought of before you met me yeah because you just hear all the stuff right you hear all the drama and so you're just like wow she's a ruthless she's this and you know not to say I don't judge because obviously I know like I know how people take things but you hear those things or just how I don't know you think someone's just gonna be arrogant or whatever because you have all this like money and you're skinny and you're pretty so you're like well you just know you know I think you have the assumptions And again, at this age, I don't.

34:12I'm just like, and I was, I was surprised the energy you have is just so different than like people would think, you know what I mean? I appreciate you saying that because I think that's the point is like, we see people online and most of the time we never get to meet these people in person. So like there's a image online that people will like assume of you and it's really fucking hard to break away from that. And so obviously like, I know my, my, the way that I got through it was like, I know the truth and I know what happened and I know I feel like I can go to sleep and I'm a good person and I have good people around me and like and if I'm good with my life off the internet I think then I did become a better version of myself on the internet because it's like when all you are looking for is validation from the internet which it seems like at one point that was you didn't have friends you were really in a dark place like you're gonna just say some crazy fucking shit and you don't give a fuck yeah but I do think second chances you're right are important because like I'm so proud of the growth that I've had and I know you feel the same way about yourself of like of course we've changed and of course now like when you have things you care about everything is put in perspective oh my god so different now it's like oh I don't want to embarrass my husband I want to embarrass my daughter you know you're like so it changes everything about you that's what I knew like I had to change all of it and it just and I I really do feel it and I'm like people can see it or they don't see it I don't care because I could feel better but it does feel especially right now that people have like seen it it's not me saying I've changed it you know know it just took time you know I think with anything like just public feuds anything you know people always you know there's always sides that people pick without knowing the full truth and it's just like getting through that and it doesn't really matter at the end of the day what people think you know about it it's like some people are gonna think I'm this person something whatever it's okay yeah as long as you know who you are yeah let's yeah okay we're gonna play I love your giant cards oh my god huge I love them huge and there's like tiny little writing I'm like okay let's play a game yes I'm gonna give you a topic and I want to hear your opinion on it reusing nudes oh uh yeah i do it all the time my office is still that it's just old nudes from 2020 and people still new people come in i sell them oh slay or just like sending you i mean sending them too but don't you can tell now i feel like you can tell by the dates now people i don't know did you send nudes were you someone who sent nudes oh yeah really oh and you've never posted nudes online i've never posted nudes online i just was such a nude girl like i remember i dated this guy that was obsessed with nudes to the point where it was like very unhealthy and he was like every day you're sending in them I would be at work Trisha and this man would be like come on like can I get a pic and like I was in such a bad relationship with him that like I knew that like if I didn't like if it is another girl gonna send him a nude so I would feel so insecure so there I was at work with like my like pencil skirt on and I'd like mosey my way over to the bathroom oh you took him fresh I thought you'd have like a library no no no trust me I and oh Oh my God.

36:56Like I would absolutely edit them. I would like, I know literally I, I would be at work on the clock getting paid. I would go take it in like the, um, handicap bathroom. Sorry. It was bigger, but bigger. And like I needed my privacy. God forbid someone walks in, in the stalls and I'm like getting that ass shot. I'm sure if there was a handicap person walking, you'd give them the stall. For sure. For sure. Yeah. And so I would get out and I would go back to my desk and I would like look around and I would always had a girl behind me. And whenever she would go to lunch, I would pull up my nude. I would go on PicMonkey and I would start like rearranging like make the ass fatter everything and then I would like send it off to him and be like here you go and he'd be like so hot so fire and then I would save those though and then obviously like if I was talking to another guy that day I'd be like here you go oh my gosh I loved a good nude I thought that I it almost became like an art form at one point right you know like you really get those angles you learn how to like make it look good like I loved a good nude yeah it was fun and then oh my god like I've definitely sent like some videos and like all that stuff but I never went I never made money off of it no never would it ever get out no one ever posted on love you no because I think like I know the amount of people that I've sent it to like I know those specific guys okay and if they ever did like I think they know I would try to sue them so I think they're like too scared especially now I feel like they would push you out there because you're you right but I'm like yeah but like try me let's go to court motherfucker but god forbid like I ever feel like I gotta pull out I'm gonna bring out my I have literally an old nude like catalog like album like yeah you know you You've got that MacBook that you've got it on.

38:26And you're like, ooh, which one should I use today? Your retirement plan. Yeah. I should change the album name from old nudes to retirement plan. I mean, it's kind of like everyone's doing it now. But I get you. I totally get you. Meeting your celebrity idols. Have you ever? Who are your idols? Oh, I love meeting celebrity idols. Yeah, I think like the bigger the idol, the nicer they are. I feel like when you're like a Z-list person, they have like, you know, maybe like Tom Sandoval or something. I don't know. I don't really know him, but I just know he's Oliver Tick-Tack. Like he probably won't be nice.

38:58But I've met like Quinn Tarantino, Eminem, The Weeknd just sent me a DM. And I feel like the bigger they are, the nicer they are. I saw you talking about this on your podcast. What was the DM from him? Literally, I was on a podcast like two weeks of the Zach Sang Show. And I was like, oh, I pay for music. And I'm like, I just bought like six of The Weeknd songs. And he's like, thanks for the support. Me and my team appreciate you. He like sent me a DM. And I was like, wow. He cares that I spent$6 on his music. know everything they do because i i think i saw who did i see i think i saw snoop dog recently saying like there were a billion streams and he made 40k from it no that's wild to me that's why i buy the music off itunes and i still do and they appreciate it i mean i was shook i was like oh my god abel's in my dms was crazy like literally maybe they need to start only fans like fuck he's like babe thanks for the six dollars you're like babe literally get an only fan i was like let's go he would make bank if he was on only well i mean the idol is basically like only fans It was just him like fucking Lily Rose Depp.

39:49And I loved it. That's why I became a fan this year. I saw the idol and I was like. That was crazy. I never get horny about anything. And like literally that show made me like crazy. Okay. Taco Bell. Pass. Is this. What are we playing? Are we doing pass or smash? Am I rating this? Taco Bell? No. I just. I love how also like you're right. We've kind of changed the game for every single question. What was the game originally? Oh, I want to hear your opinion on. Oh, okay. Okay. Taco Bell. um i'm not i love fast food but i'm just not a taco bell fan what's your favorite fast food place um mcdonald's yeah just because there's one close to us i always get the nuggets right now they have adult happy meals oh wait i think we're boycotting mcdonald's maybe i think everyone told me we're boycotting them we why um oh i don't know i don't get political but i think something is happening with them so i'll be on a strike until the strike is over but where are you gonna get your nuggets oh man baby chick-fil-a oh the chick-fil-a is controversial too we can fuck them I know.

40:45They don't support the gays. Oh, no. A lot of my gay friends love Chick-fil-A, so I go with them. Everything's controversial. That's interesting. If you go to Chick-fil-A with one of your gay friends. I think it's fine. Then it cancels it out. I think so. They love it. So, Chick-fil-gay.

41:05I love fast food, but they're all problematic. They are. Okay, so McDonald's first, then Chick-fil-A. Do you like Wendy's? I love Wendy's spicy nugget. I'm just a nugget person. Nugget. So I only get nuggets at all these places. What do you dip it into? Yeah. Oh, nothing. No sauce. Yeah. What? I have no sauce. Yeah. I recently heard Jen were taking us that she has no sauce too. I'm like, no sauce girlies. Get it. Wait. Never. This is crazy. There's no live. Try to find a clip of me eating sauce. Actually, there's clips of me trying sauce, but I don't like it. Yeah. Wait. So you don't like ranch dressing?

41:35No. I don't like any sauce. Like no barbecue, no ketchup, no mustard. Your whole life. Yeah. I'm just like, I like a plain. I'm very, my tastes are plain. I love like butter noodles. I love chicken tenders like pizza like that's what I like yeah I have food for you to try downstairs now I'm like rethinking everything did you make it I'm having someone make it right now oh my booze oh my god do you have a content house with a chef do you live here like no just to shoot here I was like wow I just begged someone downstairs I'm like listen there's this one pasta that I want Trisha to try do you think wait what yeah I want you to try it what kind of pasta you know how like girls are like oh my god like I have my like like my girl dinner and it's like when the men are away the girls will play and like you make like just dumb shit that like men would be like I'm not eating that shit so like I grew up on this like spaghetti sauce that my mom would make me but it's like this like progresso like I don't even want to like progresso yeah is that like wait what oh progress is like prego sauce because I do like I like pasta sauce I'm trying to figure out progresso sauce I love a jar of sauce if that's what you're talking about okay i have prego i can't breathe it's in a it's in a jar and i swear to god trisha i want you to try it like i know you like plain stuff like i'm interested to see your take i love pasta sauce okay i love we're gonna film it downstairs okay but like it's good to know where's that going yes bonus content where does that gotta get that coin girl i love it i'm Same, same, same.

43:00I'm like, you're going to stay for 10 hours, right? I love it. We're good to go. I will. Okay, so no to Taco Bell. No Taco Bell. Okay, I'm crying. Okay, internet trolls. What is your opinion on them? Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. I have a soft spot for them because I was an internet troll for a minute. Now I can't stand them. I see people, like, yelling at the camera being ridiculous. I'm like, oh, no. This is going to haunt you forever. You should literally, on every time you see someone doing trolling videos, be like, trust me, stop. Don't stop. Yeah, there's that girl, that pearl girl out there now. And I'm like, girl, let's pump the brakes.

43:33This is going to follow you forever. Dude, wait. I feel like I know who you're talking about. She's like mean. Yeah, she's like kind of anti-woman, I think. I don't know. She's like a woman, but like hates women. She's like, oh, if you're divorced, you're less than, or if you have sex before marriage, like they don't want you. I don't know. She's kind of weird. Does she have like strawberry red hair? Yeah. She's made videos about me being like Alex Cooper, and I always just stop it immediately. Oh, yeah. I never watch the video because I'm too scared. I don't want to know. of everyone and I get it it's like a schtick or something hopefully but I'm like girl this is like gonna not do well for you because you'll like run out of money like you'll spend the money I know trust me I've made like 10 million dollars trolling and I've wasted all of it I didn't buy a house until OnlyFans so I'm just like no girl girl stop I know she'll probably clip this and be like you fucking whores shut up like oh literally no I know I used to be scared of people talking about me but I'm like oh no I just I literally like I have again it comes from in place if I know what it's like like I get it and I'm just like oh no do you ever scroll on TikTok and if you hear someone talking about you do you watch the videos oh no I'm scared I scroll instantly the last I don't even want to talk about but the last person I saw talk about me I like literally cried for days what yeah she told me I looked like I had electrocuted hair and I like cried for literally like a week and I'm like why is this affecting me so much it was literally like a month ago and I couldn't stop crying wait I'm so sorry that's so mean I had a lot of postpartum hair loss but when I was young people made fun of me for having like frizzy hair it was a whole thing so I kind of so it hasn't happened in so long that someone made fun of my hair I'm used to weight I'm used to acne and I was like oh my god this one like hit this one hit hard that's when it's the most fucked up is if it's something from like when you were younger that was like something you got the shit bullied out of you for and that or that you were just insecure about for yourself yeah when you're an adult and someone picks on it you're like I'm regressing to being 12 right now and I'm sobbing that's how I felt it's like that and like eating like chicken part like both of those things are like weird things that you wouldn't think like people call me fat people call me all these things I'm just like oh I don't care but those I don't know that was like so sorry yeah so I but it's because I like stayed on it for a minute I saw and I was just like let me hear what this person has to say because I like the person because I was like oh I love this person I talk nice about them all the time and I was like oh shit and then I like yeah so I and I like I don't like to be in like the drama of it all but I was just like damn that one hurt that one hurt like hard it's just like again stop being mean to people on the internet like why are also I just feel like it's so we're so above or we at least some we should be commenting on women's appearance yeah aren't we done with that it just like in general like hair weight I'm just like that's it like that's like there should be and again I guess it's like a compliment that's that's what you're going for like that's the only thing but true but it's the worst thing to hear as a woman is like your appearance you're you're right and I feel like it's expected from a man because it's like you're dumb but from a woman you're like you know it sucks it sucks because I'm so like pro women now so I'm very and I know I haven't always been that's what I'm saying the karma kind of comes back to me I'm like all right I guess I deserve it I guess I've talked enough about other people's appearances so you know it does come back around so I'm like okay I'll take it that's how I have to look at I'm like it's just another chromatic you got thick skin girl yeah sometimes sometimes I really do like I haven't cried in a long time and I was like oh my god why am I crying and like last night when I cried over the pasta I'm like this is very odd usually I'm not like that well at least you allow yourself to cry I feel like sometimes people hold it in too much if you're gonna cry cry and then keep eating that pasta yeah let's go let's go bitch cry how do you feel about reincarnation do you believe in it um oh oh i don't know what do you think didn't i see something on the internet that people were convinced what is the theory the my baby yes oh yeah i did i did have the i did birth the reincarnation of queen elizabeth last year i guess which you know what honestly makes me believe it wait why do people think that it was so weird it was the weirdest it was okay literally someone looked it up it was the most time i was searched it was the most searched i've ever been was in september 22 and two a week before my daughter was like more searched than anything that's ever happened in my life any controversial thing that was the google high point and it was so weird it was like a week before i gave birth i said i was like one centimeter dilated which is like you know normal and you're gonna give birth in like a week or two right but then the queen died the next day and everyone's like trisha just gave birth and the queens and i was still very much pregnant i just didn't have my phone with me it was very it was so bizarre like tmz was calling my dad my mom like everything it was the weirdest oh my god you know why you were probably so searched it's like you kind of like tapped into like you infiltrated the royal family like but everyone in england was like wait who is this bitch i need to see like is the queenie coming out of that v like what the is going on the day she died i'm like trending i have a screenshot like right underneath her like it's so bizarre i know when i announce my pregnancy everyone's like uh-oh king charles nine months left i'm like no don't even start it wait i was yeah it's funny now at the time i was actually a little traumatized i was like oh my god what did i do like because i didn't even start it Like I get it if I start my own shit.

48:13And I was like, no. And I was out of drama. I was so out of drama. I did have my podcast. I was like not talking about anyone. I was like, oh shit. We're back. Yeah. Not like that bad of drama to be a part of because you're like, oh my God, like I just gave birth to like the new queen. Yeah. But that's also going to be such an interesting thing. Like if your daughter Googles herself one day, like not a bad Google search. Yeah, for sure. You're queen. And she kind of is. She's very like royal regal. She waves to everybody. She's very that actually. So if I do believe in her incarnation, I do believe that could be, yeah.

48:39I don't know how Queen Elizabeth was. I heard maybe she's not a nice person, but maybe she'll be reincarnated as a good person. I don't know. I know nothing about the royal family, but. Okay. How do you feel about retail therapy? Oh my God. That's all I do all day, every day. I spend way too much money. What do you spend your most money on? Purses. I have so many purses. Yeah. I have too many. I probably have, I don't know, maybe 500 purses. And I sell a lot too. So I have like about 500 purses. Wait, but you said you never leave your house. Yeah. I just buy it online. Like 2020, I bought like six Birkins that were like a million dollars all together and now I can't sell them I wish I could I've had so many Birkins that are ugly and I'm like oh I have like a dead ostrich in my closet and I'm like I don't want this anymore wait and you like you barely leave your house also so like where do you wear them dear you're like I love your Prada bag I'm like thank you this is my only shot to wear it oh my god so like whenever you're gonna go do an appearance you'll wear it but other than that just sits in the closet but my closet's beautiful it's like sparkles and shine it makes me really happy like they actually just make me happy to look at them I used to like never wear my purses out like I just love to look at them.

49:38Look at them. What's your favorite one? Oh I have the Paris Hilton Birkin like the pink one with the Sawaskis on it. It's the same retailer that got up the Privy Porter. Shout out Privy Porter. She made Paris's bag and then she made mine and I love it. But when you get the aftermarket crystals they go down in value so much so I wouldn't suggest that. I bought a$50 ,000 rainbow Birkin and no one even wants it. I can't even give it away for like$8 ,000 so yeah so don't do aftermarket. But I love my pink one. I don't like the rainbow one. Okay let's talk about sex.

50:20okay let's talk about sex okay i think that you obviously exude confidence and i know you have kind of like lately in this interview talked about just like your relationship to men has evolved but to women that are like trisha how the fuck do we get confident in the bedroom like what What personally would you say makes you feel the most confident in your sex life? Oof. You know what it is? I always say this to everyone is like guys really don't care. If they're like with you at that point where they're like undressing you, like they don't care. Do you know what I mean? I don't know. Guys just, they kind of get what they get.

50:54You know what I mean? They just are excited to be with you. And I've never, I've never been insecure in that way because maybe because I've like hooked and I've been with like 500 guys, like I mean, maybe that made me more confident weirdly, but I've just never had any like complaints. And I used to have like uneven boobs. I mean, like back when I was like a hooker, I mean, I didn't shower for like five days and they would be fine with it. So I think guys are just kind of nasty and they'll just take what they get. So don't feel bad. If you're hygienic, I think that's a plus. If you put on deodorant that day, girls, they're fine.

51:23Yeah. You're good. Just do a lot of wash. It's such a good point. Men are like kind of disgusting. And so I feel like sometimes like we're in our own heads about like, oh my God, do I need to do this? No, you don't need to do shit. No. Show up. I, yeah, I've been with, and I've been with all types. And I think like in like I've been saying like, oh, I've been like on the streets or whatever. But I also know it's like, you know, some WWE wrestlers that like prefer a big girl. You know what I mean? And they like love it and they can't get enough of it. You know what I mean? So I think there's just like types and some people love a skinny girl, but they're not going to go to bed with you if they want a skinny girl.

51:50Whoever is like in bed with you like wants you. So I don't know. I've never had any complaints. Like I said, I've had like my boobs have been uneven. I've like I've looked crazy so many guys just don't care. And I think as long as you're not, I don't know. I've never been self-conscious about that. I don't know why. no I think that's great I think that's why I know people want to hear from you on it because I think you're right of like we are in our own heads so much more than men are like if if you're right if he's in the room with you and wanting to have sex with you there you go yeah he's that's it they're not gonna be like no thank you I've never had anybody like oh no you know what I mean ever exactly like you've got a vagina they're gonna oh yeah yeah guys are very easy that way so I always feel bad when girls get like self-conscious and I'm like I'm like they guys want you like I've had girls right in being like oh my god like I'm insecure about my labia or with the way it looks I'm like don't be oh right don't be yeah men don't give a fuck and people love all types they love the outies the innies the in-betweenies they love all of it exactly like who cares um how old were you when you had your first orgasm oh oh my god like 32 I love that you say that though because I think so many women even if they would lie about it like oh I bet a lot of women feel that same way Like they, we, of course we didn't have orgasms at such a young age.

53:03Yeah. I don't know how people do. Men don't know how to fucking please us. Guys don't care about it. Did you give it yourself or did you get it from a guy? Oh, the first time, the first time was with a threesome. It was like in a threesome. They had one of those, I call them hibachis. They're not hibachi. Are they Hitachi? Hitachi. Yeah. Those are Hitachis. Yes. Yes. That like changed my life for real. That was like, I was in like this like throuple and they used it on me and I was like, oh my God, that was when I was like, I didn't know if I was peeing or what. I was like everything was going everywhere.

53:27It was insane. Oh my God. So that was like the first time where I knew what it was supposed to feel like. And that's why I was like, holy shit. Like that was like explosive. So wait, that's so funny because Bridget and Holly, when they came on, Bridget was the one that talked about it. She was like with half, like obviously we weren't getting off. So we would have these Mr. Hitachi's and she taught me about it. And now, okay. So they're Mr. Hitachi. They're so good. Yeah. And so that was like the thing where I was like, oh, that's what even when I did only fans, like all my squirting ones are with that because it's just like, it's just so intense.

53:52Like if you don't know how to do it or whatever, because I'm like, how does that even happen? Or you're scared to like forces you to, I mean, with your consent. Wait, right. Forces you, but you're the one pressing the button. Like you're accepting. But it's like, you don't even have a choice because it's so much pressure. And you're just like, well, this is going to happen. Yeah. That's so interesting. So if you have like trouble orgasming or you don't know how it's supposed to feel, like highly recommend going on like the big setting of those. And just get it going. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, when you say you were in a throuple, was it for just sexual or were you actually in a relationship with a couple?