Winnie Harlow: My Engagement Story

0:02What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with call her daddy. winnie harlow welcome to call her daddy thank you so much thank you for having me sorry i'm losing my voice no i just said i'm like a sultry raspy voice for a podcast hello should we do a little call her daddy we're here little asmr yeah little asmr vibing um i'm sorry but we have to get right into it you just walked in here and i'm blinded by your hand you just got engaged congratulations thank you tell me the story i need to know like how he did it how it happened tell me everything it's so funny because i'm telling the story but like i was the last one to know about it oh my god everyone like on my whole team was like did you not realize that we've been uh avoiding you for the past two weeks i was like no i was none the wiser it was so cute um kyle told me that he wanted to go to turks for valentine's day and i was like that is so cute it's like my favorite place other than jamaica because i'm jamaican but um we went i got super sick classic classic i got so romantic super sick and um i feel like everyone was like super scared like is this gonna ruin the trip kyle was like don't worry once this goes down she will forget she's completely sick and rightfully so he was so right this whole trip was incredible I um I got ready I took a shower in the morning and he came into the bathroom he's like but you look good I was like thank you because this is gonna be a good trip we're gonna have a great time he was like yeah we're gonna have a great time this is gonna be a great trip oh my god we when you because when I remember when I got engaged I was similar to you where like Like everyone around me was like knew every detail to the point where like my husband flew my friends out and my family out.

2:07Like everyone was there. And I know beautiful. It's so beautiful to know that. I don't know. I feel like when you become an adult, there's little moments where you actually feel like you get surprised in life and you actually are enjoying like people coming together and doing something special for you. Because when you're an adult, it's like you're getting the niece and nephews or your kids the presents for the holiday. Like it's just not as magical in moments. And when you have the people in your life come together to like make this fun moment that's so grand, you're like... I'm always a part, like I'm sure you are a part of like the planning of everything.

2:40So it was like, I can't believe you guys pulled this off and not only pulled it off, but pulled it off as if I was a part of the planning. Everything was so perfect that I would have thought I was a part of. But you're like, I would have picked that. I would have picked that. Wait, can you give us like how he actually physically did it?

3:17Can you give us like how he actually physically did it? So we went, we were getting on the plane to go to the trip. Okay. And he opened the door and it was decorated to the nines. And I was like, this is so cute for Valentine's Day. Like, babe, like, stop. I already, like, started watering up. Right. But it was like, okay, stop. Like, get it together. He wants to read me a poem that he wrote. And so Kyle just got traded from the Wizards to Milwaukee. And we were joking, you know, he's like, I'm going off to work now. You know, I'll see you soon. Can't wait for you to come to Milwaukee. I was like, write me a love letter.

4:03My sergeant, send me a love letter. It was just a joke, you know. But he took that and wrote me a love letter to propose. It was the cutest ever. I was like tearing up, crying, but crying just because it was so cute. I still had no idea. So first you're like, he decks out this plane. You're on this gorgeous PJ. You're like, okay, my man is like really spoiling me. Then he's reading you a goddamn love letter. And you're like, I am so in love with you. Like already you're happy. You're ready to go. Exactly. You're like, I'm good. This is going to be a great trip. Like, absolutely. This is going to be an amazing Valentine's Day.

4:40But it's around Valentine's Day. So you're already just feeling like. It's the day before. Okay, so it's like romantic. You're feeling the vibes. And then how does he pop the question? So at the end of the poem, the way he wrote it, it was like as if he was going to say, will you be my Valentine? And it was, will you be my wife? And literally like just went into shock. I just, I was already crying and just flooded with tears at that point. and he pulled out hit the box got out in one knee and i was like yes i don't even need to see it i don't need to see it yes yes yes okay first of all that is so cute and were you guys alone or was your family around you we were alone so apparently um he wanted to do it in turks yeah with the family and everything and just last minute he changed his mind it was like guys i'm doing it on the plane and our moms were so mad.

5:42Like, tell him he has to do it here. He has to be here. We need to see it. How could he? And he was like, y 'all, go enjoy the beach. Have a good old time. Y 'all are in Turks and Caicos. Have a great time. I'm doing it the way I want. And I love that he did that. It was so beautiful, so romantic. It was just him and I. And then, surprise, everyone was in Turks. I had no clue as well. Oh, so you had no clue that you were about to land. So you thought you were going to have this like weekend getaway with your fiance and then you land and it's like your mom and everyone is there. Oh, that's so special.

6:14My mom, my dad, my sister, his mom, like literally everyone was there. I screamed. Okay. I am now convinced because I feel like we have a lot of overlapping in our engagement stories. I'm hearing that too. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Because now I'm like really vibing with this and I'm like, if any man still watches Call Her Daddy or whatever woman is forcing you to watch the show. Yep. Take notes because I think the concept of having an alone moment with your partner and having like the privacy and intimacy of an alone moment. Like he made the right decision by you guys got to have that time alone a couple hours on your own.

6:49And then once it sinks in, then you want to be with the people you love most. That is like the perfect combination. Perfect. Because then I'm sure like how I felt in that moment, I'd love to hear how you felt on the plane ride was like Matt did it at our house. and it was so romantic and I was in such shock that I kept being like I've got to call my mom I've got to call my mom and dad and he was like we'll call them in a minute let's have some champagne babe like and I was like you're right okay right you're like I need to tell my parents and then I'm like did you ask my parents and he was like yes and I'm like no no no I he's like I promise they said yes and like I'm going through all this so he's trying to calm me down so in hindsight I'm like poor Matt is like bitch they're already fucking waiting for you like just enjoy the moment alone with me but it then allowed me to like have an intimate kiss like hug each other talk about it ask him the detailed questions of how he came up with this and give him kind of like the credit he deserves 100 and then let the family because like how much pressure like it's so much pressure i i big them up like incredible he did such a good job funny enough like even my nails my nail tech is actually from la and i used to live here and i moved to dc with him and i've been like missing my nail tech because like oh my god i mean of course we love our nail ticks and um he messaged me my nail tech to be like hey um i have family in dc my cousin's birthday is tomorrow so i'm flying out there do you need your nails and like lashes done i was like oh babe guess what loy is coming out here it's just a coincidence such an amazing coincidence you know i've been missing him and he was like that's why is he out here i was like apparently he has family i don't know we and kyle actually set the whole thing up no okay that's actually i'm gonna hype your man up for a second that is next level shit to be like i'm gonna think about my girl's nails to the point where i am going to fly out her nail tech the trusted person that does her nails so she feels so gorgeous okay okay now you're just like making everyone look bad nuts holy that's so nice and then you look down you're like okay so i'm in the car on the way to the plane and he was like you were so annoying in the car it was hilarious i just kept looking so he gave me this bracelet for valentine's day so i'm like none the wiser like i already got my valentine's day gift the day before like we're on our way to our trip and i'm Like looking at my bracelet and my hands and my nails.

9:19And I'm like, babe, like the hand picks, like the beach, like it's going to be so nice. And his head, he's like, yeah, it is. Like, yeah, it is. No, I don't even know. OK, so I want to hear, though, about the ring, because I feel like this is just like such fun girl stuff that like some people grow up wanting it. Some people don't. But when it happens, it's so beautiful. And it's such a moment that you like can cherish forever. the ring is it's so stunning there's not words but can you tell us like did you talk about engagement and if you did did you give him ideas of what you wanted as a ring or is this like full surprise he did this on his own so we've been talking about engagement for the past year just like um like we started doing like marriage counseling and um you know just talking about our future and like how many kids we want all that type of stuff like where would you want to get married like just communicating you know like I think it's so important to be able to learn good communication before you even take that step and so you know I had sent him like some rings I had been saving for years like I look back on my phone it's like 2015 I have like pictures of rings that like now my idea of what I wanted to has evolved but just the idea of it being like classic and fairy tale like was my you know thought process on it and i feel like he executed incredibly like this looks nothing like anything that i've ever shown him but that was i also try to make that very clear like this is not i'm showing you this because i want this ring i want whatever you create because he's also super creative okay that is like i agree i think listen there's gonna be girls out there where it's like for the love of god do not let your man pick the ring if your life depends on it because he can't even like put two of the same colored socks on in the morning he's gonna pick a horrible ring and i love the girls that are like so this is it yeah it's on hold over there yeah and then i do appreciate also like the other side of it where like you're saying like you had a vision lightly but you let him run with it 100 it's so stunning he took like three months to design and make it with the jeweler and it was so funny like him talking to me about it and like why he did different things like he was like I thought about doing like diamonds around it but I thought it won't be comfortable for her to wear and I was like hitting my leg I was like yeah you're so right like I don't even feel anything you're so like all the other rings I'm like oh my gosh yeah I feel the same way yeah hurt somebody like shaking their hand or something it's so like well thought out attention to detail exactly and then for the rest of the weekend in Turks like what would you say with your family and your friends and now your fiance like what was your favorite moment of the like weekend proposal moments like after the proposal because i was like that you're like that once you got there with your family i think the surprise that everyone was there did you sob sob i felt on my knees when did you know they were there we arrived and he was just showing me like it was all decorated and like we had flowers and pictures pinned up of us over the years it was so beautiful and we walked out to like the backyard area and the DJ just dropped music and everyone was like surprise it was incredible those moments where you're like no I thought that this was enough and now this like you've got to be more and more and more and I could like each moment was such a surprise and I was so happy that like I'm not that type of person who wants to figure it out yeah so I'm so happy I was like none the wiser to anything it's so beautiful and I love engagement stories but I want to rewind because from what I've read Kyle had to shoot his shot twice with you like you would at one point you wouldn't even give this man the time of day I'm like this is so lovely I'm like Winnie this is pure love let's start from the beginning yeah you you basically ghosted this fucking man what happened what was going on no so I I met him I actually originally met him at fashion week okay briefly i was um entering a party and he was leaving the party and it was these like i think like two or three tall guys who were leaving a fashion party it was like harper's bizarre icons or something yeah and um he was like yo so where's the after party and i didn't really look at them so i was like i don't know and i looked i was like oh they're tall he's kind of cute but whatever you know like we're walking to the party and i turned back and i was like dm me because like he must know who i am if he's like you know trying to see where i'm going right so i was like oh dm me and then i guess he dm'd me but i never seen it you know how like instagram's kind of like tricky like they'll put it into like another you gotta work for that shit so i just didn't see it and do you know what he said i don't actually okay we need to go we need to fucking scroll back up at some point yeah um i i don't remember what he said but a year later during the pandemic i was living in new york and he lived in la he was playing for the lakers and um i just signed to puma um as an ambassador and he was signed to puma at the time so he posted me to say congratulations on like me getting my like welcome to the puma family like on his story on his story oh my that's kind of like flirty right right yeah cute but i didn't see it as well winnie you're like i am never on my phone or i just was not meant for a little bit to see this man you know what it makes it even sweeter because it's like it was meant to be truly it was meant to be swerving this man left and right and finally but um when i saw it was 24 hours after you know the story is gone oh just his mention and you're like what was that i was sick i was like i don't even know what he posted like was it cute like what right like this man that i don't really know like he just posted me on his fucking story and it's not like and it's not like this is not something that's going to be seen by people you both have followings where it's like what is this what was that right okay so i dm'd him and i was like hey that what was that and he was like oh i just congratulating you on like your puma deal i was like oh that's so sweet thank you appreciate it sweet and obviously in the pandemic we have nothing to do so i was like cool like so what are you been up to in the pandemic you know whatever small talk and um we were messaging back and forth for a bit but it was like i would message and then like five hours would pass and i wouldn't realize that he responded and then i would see it and it was just like three days of like small talk yeah and i was like hey you know what i'm not really super good at dms like here's my number text me and yeah then we texted for like a few days and then he started facetiming me and he was like super sweet he would like have an interview to do you know like everybody was doing that whole like zoom interview stuff yes and he had an interview to do he was like hey i have like some work to do i'll call you back in an hour and i was like yeah okay cool like you're gonna call me back in an hour an hour literally called me back and i was like a man of his word we love this we love this wow and so it just naturally progressed that's like i girl we have like this i we're so in simpatico with this i'm like i met my man like literally online on zoom what did you mean so we had like a random meeting that my agent was having me meet like with like tv and movie producers just to see if like I would ever want to do something in that space and he was like my last zoom of the day and I always joke to him because I had these like men that were like fucking 60 right there's anything wrong with you yeah but they were like 60 and I'm like in my hoodie I'm like looking not that cute and then the last zoom of the day he was late so I like googled him and I was like wait he's fucking young and hot what the hell I'm like putting my fucking lip liner I'm over lining my lips I'm pushing my tits up I get on the zoom I'm like hello and he was just so cute and charming but also like not overly like oh my god I want to be in business with the collar daddy girl so I kind of loved it that he wasn't giving me too much of the time of day and then we ended up talking and then I flew to LA and met him and when was this this was in 2020 you lived in New York right yeah and Kyle lived in LA yeah I lived in New York and Matt lived in LA and we met in the pandemic online no and then we what is this synergy no it's weird I'm telling you.

17:58That's nuts. That's why I was so excited to talk to you today because then seeing your engagement, I was like, girl, we have too much in common right now. That's crazy. Can I ask you though, like when you started to talk to Kyle, were you looking for a relationship? Like when was your last relationship prior to him? Probably like two years prior. And I wasn't looking for a relationship, but like I think it was just... I like to talk to someone who's serious. So I do have that in mind. I did have that in mind when I was talking to people. But it was just friendly conversation at first and good conversation then too, which was beautiful.

18:46And it was a pandemic. So we had so much time to get to know each other. And I feel like that was such a blessing as well. were you at all like you're an athlete I don't know about athletes like were you at all nervous because I feel like some girls are like you go in and you're like oh here we go again and yeah he seems obviously he's amazing but like did you have any preconceived notions I I feel like I did like once upon a time when I was like in my early 20s like I would never date an athlete like yeah too much but when it did happen it was kind of like not really a thought it was like cool you know what like it's good conversation and even if we just become friends like that's cool too you know it's cute yeah talk to me about the pros and cons of being in a long distance relationship at first because i have so many women write into me being like what do i do and like what was your experience with it did you ever get annoyed was it good because it was covid that you were like fine with it yeah i mean i think because i didn't know him it was cool but we talked for like a month straight and it got to the point where like we were like falling asleep on the phone and like waking up on the phone and i remember the first time i like was like okay cool we went on facetime for a minute like i just i need to take off my makeup like that is like i went put my phone down i was like washing my face and he was just right there on the phone i was like i love this too much like i'm in my house i can't go nowhere like i need to un-glam and from then we would just be like on the phone non-stop and um I feel like we talked for a month straight okay and then he was like you gotta come to LA yeah so we were long distance getting to know each other yeah that was cool and then I went to LA not knowing when I was coming back because it's also again a pandemic so there's nothing for us to do and it was kind of like i would say like he's like superman he rescued me from the pandemic because i was by myself so did you end up moving in the pandemic i did okay so we're but you know what the thing is i always wanted to live in la interesting so right before the pandemic i was already looking at houses oh okay so that was in your future yeah it wasn't my future but it got like cut because the pandemic hit i had to go back home and then it was kind of like what do i do do i like go home to toronto and stay with my family do i like stay here okay you need to talk to me though about the weird part of social media is yes you saw this man one time coming out of a club quickly and like barely you just notice his height you're not like really focused on him you meet him in person basically for the first time and even though you guys have been talking like yeah were you nervous at all like physically nervous like you never kiss this man literally like my stomach hurts when i get nervous i was like actually literally shit and bricks like I was so nervous and then he came out to like help with my luggage and stuff and he had no shirt on it was like hot in LA and I was like I'm already nervous no please oh my please because you're like I thought a lot about that of like when you're telling this story I'm like as much as you're sharing which is a weird beautiful thing I do think when people give people shit of like meeting online and I wish I met them romantically in a bar whatever it's like there is something so gorgeous I felt with my husband of we did the same thing where we're like facetiming every single we're like COVID couples where it's like you're facetiming every night you're talking we were getting so much deeper than maybe we would have been if we were just like out for drinks in LA and having like one hour dinners and everything happens for a reason right but then you're like now let's see if we physically connect and I like you had the feeling yeah but still do you remember the first time that you were like oh my god okay like we're gonna like kiss and make out like was it immediate or did you guys wait to like physically connect it was immediate it was it was definitely immediate but I feel like we I remember we would like play like 21 questions and stuff like get to know each other on the phone and then it felt like we were running out of questions like how long we were staying on the phone so I started like ordering games that were like 21 questions for like new questions which was so much fun too because I was like I would have never thought about this right but we felt like we knew each other so well by that point Like we literally were on the phone like 12 hours straight, like every day.

23:13So no hang ups. We would like watch movies and like be like, OK, on the count of three, press play. One, two, three. Is it aligned? Perfect. OK, cool. That is adorable.

23:42what is your ideal night out like tell me about your social life like if you have your choice and you're going out somewhere like what are you doing what are you eating what's your vibe i like going to restaurants but i feel like i'm i'm such a like movie like inside like let's like just be in like chill lounge clothes and like watch a movie and like yeah vibe do you drink yeah what's your go-to drink cocktail yeah um i like make something if i'm just getting something on the menu i love a lychee martini with extra lychee's i like martini love i like an espresso martini i like on my espresso martini rate i'm like it's so good i like sweet drinks yeah okay i do like like a dirty martini as well oddly like i love olives okay are when you're drunk are you the life of the party are you the person like irish exiting or are you the drunk crier or like who are you in your friend group um i'm like life of the party and like talker like love i love to communicate it's like all the inhibitions are down it's like i love you so much like you don't understand like i feel like you're the baddest like period i feel like i'd run into in a bathroom at a party in LA and we would be doing this but like more annoying be like no Winnie no but you don't know you don't get it but you're so gorgeous no that's so girl coded you're just like shut up and we're like shut up but it's so fun that's literally literally Matt is always like what but what could you guys have been talking about and I'm like what do you mean what do you need there's so much to discuss oh my god I you get it um okay you're one of the most famous supermodels in the world so i want to play a quick game just to like catch your vibe let's do it i'm gonna give you a crazy modeling scenario and you're gonna tell me if you would book it or you would back out of the gig okay pose in a live snake pit how many snakes oh i see me i'd be like i wouldn't don't even so you're down yeah what's the craziest like modeling thing you've done for like safety i'm not really Halloween one year.

25:50So a lot of fans would tell me that I remind them of Chitara. I don't know if you know that cartoon. Yeah. So I just leaned into it. I did it for Halloween, but I had like a whole jungle set up. So I got like snakes to come and like I was holding the snakes. There was this big what's like the yellow snake. Python. It's a python, right? Something. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. I was like, it's either a python or a bow construction. I don't know. But you did one of those. I had the big like yellow Britney Spears snake. I had a few little ones okay so you're down for this shit this is good to know yeah yeah yeah anything for the shot honestly so i respect it yeah would you do a shoot with an ex-boyfriend as she looks down at her man my man my man you know uh no i feel like also everything is communication too so like now if it was like a dior campaign i don't have any control and whatever it's just like babe this is a situation whatever i feel like we're also very understanding too and that's a part of our careers you know like you may come across someone whatever as long as like we're aware you know yes you're not being like shady and not talking about it if it's like up front and it's gonna really help your career i agree for sure boom yeah get your nipples pierced for the shoot hmm i don't know i've i actually always wanted my nipples pierced okay but like the pain like i feel like those are one of the piercings that don't heal very quickly i have so i love girls that do it but i could never do that yeah i am such a little bitch with pain i would be like i i would i couldn't i just could never i love the aesthetic though oh my god like a little like white t-shirt and you see i'm like girl you're crushing love the aesthetic i couldn't but i don't know i feel like also i mean shoot if i was doing it for the shoot i could take it out and it would heal i don't know i don't know about that one okay do a month-long shoot somewhere like in antarctica or something crazy but you have to be gone for a month antarctica now like can we change it to like barbados yeah like um i would though i would like if there was like a film that like i was like super into and i got the role it'd be like have to that's good to know yeah um okay you were once on america's next top model can you describe your experience in three words i would say

28:18unique surprising and is this one word stepping stone oh that's good yeah that's good word have you ever watched your season back um long time ago okay long time ago because it was like 10 years, like damn near a decade ago. Since America's Next Top Model ended, obviously, so many people have come out and just been like, they didn't have the best experience. And some people were like, this was a traumatic experience for me. Like, what was your take in your experience? I would say I love that every job that I've had in my career has led me to the point that I'm at now. And so I wouldn't change anything in my life in general because I'm so happy and nothing anything that could have changed would not have led me here it's a great point no I feel like that's like the weirdest part of life is like I look back at certain things people always ask me about like my first job that I had or an experience that I had that like maybe even if it was like considered in people's mind like more negative in the public eye like I feel like I have now grown so much where I have I actually can genuinely say I have perspective right and when you're so close to something you don't and so even if in the moment you could say this is amazing or negative or whatever then once you get like 10 years down the line even five years down the line you're like whoa I am so grateful for what that taught me because then like what else are we going to do like whatever it is like the energy then like festers in a capacity where like you don't grow energy that you put into it as well you know and I feel like anything that happens like I was 18 when I was on the show that's what I was gonna say you're 18 then you're done the show like 19 like did you ever struggle with confidence like as a whole as a teenager obviously going on that type of show I think people think like these are the most beautiful women in the world like oh my gosh to be a model you must have such confidence like what were you going through i feel like you can have an off day any day like it doesn't matter how old you are how young you are like sometimes i might be breaking out or you know whatever the case is and like i'm like okay cool like this is a for me out thing yeah like but you're still that girl don't worry about it that's such a good point of like i look back when i was in high school let's say compared to now even like even using acne as an example struggled with acne so much in high school and was like this is the end of the world now when I'm like struggling with acne I'm like I don't care anymore but again I think that's fair to say because you're just at a different stage in your life where you know how to handle things better I think when you're younger too you focus so much on other people's opinions you know and I think once I learned that and once I even acknowledge that a lot of my insecurities were coming from the opinions of other people I was like why do I actually care about what you think about me like I care about what I think about me and like I care if I think I'm a good person if I'm a beautiful person all those things that's what really matters so I think that's like when people ask me about like how are you so confident it's like because I focus on my opinion of myself and that's not to say like if someone says something it can't be hurtful yeah but it's like the ability to let it roll off your back sometimes you know it's not nobody's perfect for sure but the ability to let it roll off your back your back and let your own opinion stand foremost is that's the key I feel period can we talk about your early dating life what was your first romantic relationship like um my first ever yeah was in like elementary school okay but like your first part yeah no no fuck him no no like so cute so adorable but the first one that you were like oh i'm like in love yeah this is like a real thing i feel like i don't see nobody like i don't see nobody really yes i don't see nobody And also I feel like being in such a serious relationship, it also allows you to like realize when you're so young and you feel like, oh my God, heartbreak, I'm so in love.

32:47Like you don't even know what love is. What has set your relationship up like with Kyle, like apart from the previous relationships you've had? because I do want to say I agree with you that like in the moment and it doesn't take away from anyone experiencing right now but like when you feel so like lost and why doesn't he do this or that like you're not in the right relationship and it's so hard to see it but then once you do find the right one you're like if he wanted to he would like if he wanted to he would and it's like then you like almost laugh at yourself but it takes finding the right example to then be like oh my god what was i thinking it's all an experience you know like it's all a life experience and it's also helping to teach you what you are looking for because unless you you know have experiences you won't know were you always when you were dating like very straight up or were you ever a little like coy playing games like um i feel like i've always been straight up but i've also always been like a little like nervous yes that's fair what is the biggest red flag you've ever ignored oh the biggest red flag i've ever ignored is my mom saying no such a good one yeah no i don't see it like fuck let me be like mama you right you right it's so hard when you're in it when your mom says that because you're like no like you just don't get it like you don't you don't understand him mom hey girl no listen to your mom yeah listen to your mom so true but like it's so hard in that moment because you're trying to express your individuality and a lot of times when we have our first young relationships you're trying to separate yourself from when your parents were like you're not allowed to go out or you're not so it's like you're like i want to make my own decisions independent of you but then at some point you go back you're like wait mom why didn't you tell me and she's like i've been telling you for a year alex that man is a walking red flag and i'm like really you said that i don't remember that no that is so yeah what you said that that's so humbling when they just stare at you and you're like it's over and they're like finally and you're like mom um you and kyle both have such intense careers can you talk about how you guys prioritize making time together because it's such a simple concept but it is very hard when you have crazy schedules like how do you make it work communication it's so like corny to say but like it literally is that without communication like how do you know where that person's gonna be like he's on my schedule I'm on his schedule but then also it's helpful that the NBA has a schedule that is you know there so I'll plan things like around his schedule sometimes and then he'll check my schedule to be like okay cool I actually see that I'm playing here and you're going to be there for work so it like it's all communication and I think like I said that the other day someone said something about like how to like with Matt and I'm like we communicate and I'm like oh my god you're right like it sounds so simple but again when I look back at previous partners that I had it so isn't simple yeah because some people make it impossible communication is hard right yeah and it sounds easy but like everyone listening you've been there it's not easy though it's definitely not easy it's the key but it's hard especially getting to know someone and then like people have their own feelings about different things like oh like their own traumas from the past like so many different things like everybody's so different but you know what i'm like thinking about when we're talking too which is like the pros of how our relationship started with the men that we're with is like matt and i and it seems like you and kyle did this where it was like the amount of conversations we had on facetime where we naturally wouldn't have probably been talking that long and extensively had we been in the same area because it would be like oh our friends are all going to the dinner or we're all going out tonight and oh we're going to sleep or we're watching the movie like the amount of conversations we've had it kind of just became this like prerequisite in our relationship that set us up for like we don't how to not communicate like that is literally what we started our relationship off of so i think that's so so much different though like i agree with that but i think it's different when it becomes like you guys are together yep and and then also like he ended up getting traded to washington and so i was still in la when he was in washington at first and like even like our lives change so much too and so our communication has to evolve it's a good And so like that is even a part of like why I wanted to go to marriage counseling, because I think it's better to create a good foundation than have to go and find a counselor when things are at a bad place.

37:49You know, like I want to be able to have the tools to work through all the obstacles that are going to come in life. like yeah whatever relationship whether it's with your parents with your friends but there's always going to be obstacles in life but being able to have those tools of how to navigate and even understand each other deeper totally you know you saying this also winnie i appreciate because i was talking about this with my friend she had gone into um couples therapy and she was like why do i feel this like weird shame around admitting that i'm in couples therapy and i was like but yet it's so I love it I say to everyone I love it I love it I'm in marriage counseling let's go and I think it's also like that stigma too is why I like talking about it because I enjoy it so much yeah I'm like I hate that nobody talks about it because it's so necessary like you want to understand your partner you want to be able to communicate with your partner and sometimes it is difficult but learning the tools is like the first step and I think you normalizing like you can be going to therapy to even better yourself it's not always because something's wrong and in crisis mode it's the same thing when you're in therapy for yourself like I've gotten to the point where when I'm talking to my therapist I'm like I don't really have much going on today but like I'm happy like let's dive into like other stuff that like maybe I can work on that's not at the forefront of my brain it's like we can always evolve we can always get better but when people think about couples therapy they're like what's wrong and you're like nothing we're literally just trying to be as solid as we can be as we enter these next stages of life together for sure i love that conversation just like normalizing it yeah daddy gang if you're going to couples therapy don't let people fucking judge you kudos to you um okay have you guys ever gone through a lull like physically because of your schedules and how do you guys come back together and like make time to physically connect and be present with each other.

40:05Have you guys ever gone through a lull like physically because of your schedules and how How do you guys come back together and like make time to physically connect and be present with each other? I think we actually like just recently had that conversation. Like sometimes I'll be traveling and he'll be working and I'll come back and he's in work mode, you know. And that was one of the things that we learned through couples therapy is like when, say, he leaves and comes back or I leave and come back. like making those moments and times to like reconnect whenever we come back together is so important because like I could come back from like a two-week trip and then he's like in his schedule like focused you know like he works works out at a certain time he wakes up he wakes up at a certain time he goes to the the the arena all that stuff he's like locked and loaded and then it's like hey I'm back you know like yeah but making that important you know when he comes back home it's like super important like I want the house to be nice and clean I want to like that movie that we talked about last week like have it lined up you know like all those things that just kind of bring that connection back together is so important it's so hard to like every time someone asks me I'm like I would be lying if I said and I think again this is why this conversation is so healthy to have of like I would be lying if I said that Matt and I throughout our relationship have not had to have multiple check-ins being like we need to always will we need to reconnect always you always will but if you don't and I think if anything I would ask people that are in relationships to check in with yourself to be like when is the last time you and your partner were like hey we need to either one we need we need to make sure we have more quality time we need to two we need to make sure we're more physical like we haven't connected about whatever it is for your personal relationship resetting in moments because we get so fucking busy and like we don't even have kids yet yeah and we're both working so I'm like I don't know so I just think it's normal to say and again I think because of social media people are like everything is perfect and it's like yeah I love matt but and we're married and he's the nothing is perfect but like we got to make sure that we're on the same page engagements yeah yeah yeah those are perfect but nothing nothing in life is perfect okay we're gonna play a game i'm gonna list some scenarios and you're gonna tell me if it's a turn off or a turn on he's heavy on the pda if he knows how to kiss turn on okay he makes a special playlist for sex absolute turn on love that love he gives you a hickey where i was gonna say it depends where i don't need no shit on my neck but like right you know right um okay he waits for you to initiate sex it depends like you know we could take turns i agree i think if it's like he's always waiting it's like the same thing where it's like you need to reciprocate but i think it's in moments it's hot if yeah yeah yeah um he he sends you nudes while you're at work um at work is is a bit much but like late at night cute cute i need to lock in i agree i need to lock it i agree i agree he wants to have phone sex hey what she want daddy okay wait phone sex or facetime sex what she what she want daddy call her daddy i fucking love you i'm dead okay he doesn't manscape oh you're like down i love this okay he's very vocal during sex love love love i don't need a mute ass bitch like love pipe it up pipe it up yeah love okay he loves sex with the lights on i mean it's not what i prefer but i like a vibe like i am not trying to fuck when it's like this light well actually i guess this lighting would be like hot this is cute but there's cameras and everything you're like candles or like like i don't want it to be pitch black where you're like I you can't see me and I can't see you because that's what sometimes that's fun too though because like oh I agree I feel like your other senses are like more heightened that is such a good point because I never do that but I forget what Matt and I were doing but there was a reason it was pitch black and we're like it's kind of hot yeah but I don't want that every time right and again if it's bright again balance balance like natural daylight kind of hot but it's like yeah okay balance um he lasts for an hour before he comes i feel like every experience is different so i think an hour for me i'd be like babe come on every every experience is different when he's like actually i'm down for four hours and count me the fuck in every experience is different he wants to watch porn together hot so hot yeah very hot hot um okay let's talk about your brand K-Skin.

45:32Can you talk to me? Like, I know that you started it after getting a very bad sunburn on a job, but like what has been the most rewarding part of starting your own brand? The most rewarding thing for me about K-Skin is realizing that there was something in the market that was missing for me and knowing that if it's missing for me, it has to be missing for a lot of people and finding the fix for that problem and then seeing people enjoy it. That, like, for me, SPF has always been so important in my life. I have vitiligo, which means that I don't have melanin in certain areas of my skin. And so I don't even tan here.

46:20I just will burn. And so SPF has always been super, like, I've been religious with wearing sunscreen, but I hated wearing it. It was never a fun experience. I left a white cast on my white skin or my brown skin, was sticky, just didn't look good. And I remember that shoot that I burnt. I went without SPF because no one on set wanted me to put it on because it wasn't looking good on camera. And I was like, that shouldn't be a thing. You shouldn't forego something that is like healthy like for your safety just because it doesn't look good so i wanted to fix that problem and make spf that you wanted to wear that looked good on all skin tones like remember when i rub something into my skin it got to work on both skin tones so like got to work for white people got to work for black people i need it to work on all skin tones types conditions i mean i feel like that's when people feel like the best brands that people create are when you're actually filling something that like you personally need like i feel like it's obvious when you see people in the market where it's like that was just because someone told them to do it rather than it's like oh this is something you're living and breathing and you need it and you can feel that through your brand which is incredible thank you thank you so much of course um what is your best skincare tip that you can share with the girlies watching i would say never skip your spf yep i think that's so important i need to get better like don't worry i'm gonna suck you up okay do you put it on yeah no i i know i just try not to go outside um but still but still okay i get you know i saw someone recently post on tiktok and they were like what fucking step are we putting it on if you're doing a full beat okay tell me got you tell me you're gonna do your skincare okay and then you're going to do your primer okay and then you're gonna do your spf spf is the last step in your skincare routine before you do your makeup so we're doing primer and then also i don't use primer because i love the feel of my spf especially like depending on what finish i want if i want like a dewy beat i'm gonna go for i'll glow because she gets like that's the islands in a bottle she gives that good glowy skin that's what i like yeah right but if you're a matte girly and you want like that full beat i would go for the mineral drops from k skin because that gives like a more natural skin like feel and leaves that like the the makeup's gonna grip you know this is the information we needed okay so yeah all your skincare whatever serums all that and usually you should actually use more of your serums at night but i like to really like layer my products and then i will finish my skincare let that sink in do my spf let that sink in and then that's like the biggest step that's changed my life recently is like i used to be like boom boom boom boom boom then i'm like what's happening it's like i now like will do my first primary skincare and then i go and get my coffee yeah then i come back that's the simmer in the spirit it really needs to like sink in absolutely and then you okay this is see we needed you i got you girl yeah this is good you got rejected at one point from a job at sephora and now k-skin is literally sold there what full circle does that mean to you when you found out that your product would be in sephora it was actually so nuts to me because i'm such a skincare junkie like that was like a dream job at the time like i was like wait i'm gonna get a discount like what you mean like i really want that job and i wanted to learn more about like skincare and makeup too at that time um so i really did want that job but you know i didn't get it it is what it is yeah to see it on the shelves then and i'm such a fan of sephora as well like it's the skincare junkie in me never left like i am what girl isn't like sephora sephora sephora absolutely love so um amazing that was a dream come true and sephora has been such an incredible partner to work with as well last question what do you wish more people knew about you i feel like i um have such a green thumb i'm so like fascinated with plants i don't know if that's not really like something that i want people to know about me but like it's an interesting like thing that i'm super obsessed with and i'm like i should talk about this more like you're like i like plants every time i like meet someone or like become friends with someone i realize like they're like super obsessed with plants it becomes a thing like i have plant apps like i have to have my i don't even water my plants like once a week i water them based off of like i stick my finger in i'll feel the soil like i have my gauges oh you're in touch i'm in it like i love plants i talk to my plants name my plants i love plants period i had plants growing up and my grandmother had an incredible garden and she used to grow so much of the food that we would eat from like tomatoes to zucchini to pumpkin like everything and I feel like my grandmother really gave me a green thumb so I'm kind of obsessed I just have to say thank you so much for coming on that was so fun to sit down with you again like every time this was so much fun it was because I feel like we may meet at some point like at like a party in LA or whatever but to get to sit down we have so much in common and especially like our recent lives it was so incredible to sit down with you and get to know you more today and I'm happy that my audience is gonna get to know you more too and congratulations again I like keeping like look at her eyes but I'm like oh my god that rock is so thank you no I really appreciate it it's like a big chapter in our lives and I feel like getting all the like blessings and the congratulations and everything it does mean so much to me because like it's a beautiful like I know you you know exactly what I'm saying like it's a beautiful beautiful moment and amazing I'm I'm over the moon love love we did it thank you