Zooey Deschanel: Relationships, RomComs, & the Holiday Season

37:15And to anyone maybe who's like my younger audience that isn't familiar with that term, can you explain what manic pixie dream girl means? It's the, okay. It's the term everyone seemed to use to describe like any female in a movie that was left of center or different um that wasn't just like the hot girl um like someone that had thoughts in her head had opinions was a little different um I know the first I I was I went on a deep dive because about that because I remember being like wait every time I would be in something I would be reduced to this and I it was something a journalist used to describe Katie Holmes in Pieces of April, which was like a, um, an indie movie that went to Sundance, like in the early 2000s.

38:07And then since then they just used, and like, then they used it to describe like Natalie Portman and Garden State and like pretty much like, and then somehow every character I ever played. And I'm like, I don't think all these characters are the same. Um, and I mean, it just felt to be honest a bit like let's come up with a new thing and and let's be a little more creative because it started to also feel like an insult or something like it was used as in this that that you're that the manic pixie dream girl this was a way to make this character that was meant to be highly you know like three-dimensional trying to make it one dimensional.

38:52And I was like, no, actually, the point is to make a character three dimensional, not one dimensional. So yeah, I was always a little bit like, look, you have to take everything in stride and realize that people call you stuff like all the time and you have to have a thick skin about it. And it's fine, whatever people want to call me that. Cool. But in my opinion, I think it's lazy to keep using it. I agree. I agree. No, it's also crazy because like you come up with these tropes and these names that media obviously more centered towards women on these because I agree. It's like if it's not just like the bombshell like Bond girl, then it's like where does where does the woman fit?

39:37We don't know what to do with her. Yeah. And it's like, oh, my God, she's like multidimensional. What a concept. Meanwhile, you're watching like all these men. She reads books. What do I do? Well, she has glasses on and she's like, what? Is like Belle from Beauty and the Beast a manic pixie dream girl? That's my question. Such a good point. Is Tiana a manic pixie dream girl? She's like an entrepreneur. Are we manic pixie dream girls? Do we move like Disney princesses into the manic pixie dream girl era? It's such a good point. It's like, if that is what they're basically saying, then I guess the goal should be to strive to be a manic pixie dream girl.

40:12because you're clearly like getting people so riled up that you're not really emotional about I'm like why are you so emotional about this manic pixie dream girl thing you're very upset right I'm glad though it's like it's getting you going it's making you think I'm happy my art is like touching you in that way yeah it's a good way to look at it um okay another one of your most beloved characters was Jess from new girl yes obviously how do you remember feeling when you first read that script. I absolutely loved that pilot script. Like I was, again, I remember where I was when I read it because I was in the Virgin Atlantic Lounge in London and the script was called Chicks and Dicks.

41:04That was, and I was like, do I want to read this? Like I was like, what? You're like, whoa. I was like, chicks and digs. Like, what is this about? And then everyone was like, no, no, it's really good. And then I read it and I was like, I was sitting there and I was like, ha ha, like laughing out loud. And I was like, well, that's a great sign. Wow. There you go. Back to Elle. Back to Elle. So I know that eventually the writer started to draw inspiration from you as an actual like person and put it into the show a little bit. what parts of yourself did you see reflected in this character i would say um all of us had like when you're on a show that goes a long time they like kind of have to do certain things especially like a sitcom i think they'll take certain parts of your personality because they know they can kind of take advantage of those things you know what i mean or they get how you, they get your rhythm and how you talk and like how you're going to say things.

42:07So it's like, you don't always have like instances where they would write things that come out of your mouth, like perfectly by season, you know, like probably by the end of season one. And so getting those things, like how to, you know, so they, they start to get you. And then like for Jess, like, you know, it was like, I like crafting and stuff like that. Like there'd be things where, There was an episode that I felt like was great because we were dealing with this a lot where people were kind of criticizing the Jess character and me for being like feminine in a way that was maybe to some people passe or something like as if I was as if I like crafting because I think it makes me like a trad wife or something like, no, I like it because it's fun and creative and maybe it's relaxing.

42:56and there was a great episode that Julie and Julia, Jess and Julia, Jess and Julia, sorry, there's a movie called Julia. Yeah, Julie and Julia. Yeah, Jess and Julia and it's just this character, Julia, is basically a lawyer and she doesn't like Jess because Jess is like, likes all these kind of feminine things and it was kind of written as a, a little bit of a, you know, reaction to a lot of this. There was a little bit of girl on girl hate, you know, where it's like, you're different from me, so I'm not going to like you. Like, it's like, why? Like, who cares? Like, there's not one way a woman should be, you know, and like, we all have masculine and feminine traits, and they come out in different ways.

43:49And I think, I think now it's a little different. But that was, that was a little while ago. And I love the way they reacted to that thing you know trust me i think it is really um unfortunate because i do think the girl on girl thing is still happening like i see it online every day almost where i'm sure yeah women are tearing other women down because it's like oh like she's trying to be like this or she's trying to be like this and it's like guys yeah now like the men aren't even a part of the conversation anymore it's literally just all these women going at each other it's like, let's all just like let each other be.

44:23Yeah. And just accept that you made to like crafting and that's okay. And that doesn't mean you're being try hard to appeal to the male gaze. Like what if you literally just like doing it? Yeah. No, it's really interesting. I was pretty fascinated, like in a similar way to the 500 Days of Summer thing. It is crazy how sometimes the shows I'm sure you are on, then they spark a larger conversation. And you're kind of like this vessel to people starting to look and be like oh wow we need to now make a social commentary again in another episode and then there you guys did it so it's kind of cool yeah it was fun to be able to be on something where they could respond in real time and we could kind of make something out of

45:20daddy gang we are so so so so back it's the moment it is really truly the moment we've all been waiting for. Spring is finally here. Thank you, God. The UV is getting high enough to tan. The outdoor concerts are lining back up and suddenly the group chat that went completely silent all winter. Yes, it's popping off again, but none of that would be complete without a White Claw. OK, when the weather warms up, I am running to the store and grabbing some White Claws. Their new blood orange flavor has become my go to. It comes in a variety pack and so everyone gets their favorite. I've already been stocking up to have my friends over for a little pool day.

46:02There's just truly nothing better than catching up as we lay out together. And yes, Bruce and Henry obviously get their own sunbed over there. The temperature in LA was literally almost 90 last weekend, which usually I personally would have hated. But I was actually so happy to be sitting in the pool, sipping a crispy, crispy white claw and pretending I was back on last summer's Euro trip. Whether it's barbecues, brunches, or just girls night by the fire, I think we're all ready to make up for all the time we lost stuck inside this winter. Grab a pack from your local spot and grab life by the claw this spring.

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47:56Zoe, what was your take? My take was actually I kind of wished this was just my own personal feeling because I like leaving things a little unfinished because I like people to decide like what they think happened. And it's sometimes unsatisfying for people. And I know it's not like really a network TV type ending, but I thought we should like end it before people knew whether it happened or not. Right, so in their heads, they can come up with what it was. Like the graduate ending is like my favorite ending because you're like, okay, he went, he got her out. She's not getting married to this other guy.

48:34She ran, she's with him. But do we know if they're gonna, then Hello Darkness, my old friend. And we have no clue starts. I'm like, sound of silence starts playing. I'm like, what's happening? And then they have this like moment of like, we don't know. And I like that. Okay. That's interesting. I like that. You're like, I want to let them decide. I'd rather let the people, let the people argue. Let the people. I love that. Okay. I heard that you don't like to call it fuck, marry, kill. You prefer to say Mary Berry one night stand. Yes. So. Okay. Mary Berry one night stand. Nick. Okay. Schmidt.

49:08Winston. um great question i don't i don't want to be like mean because i love these people no no no the berry is like just like put them to the side we're not actually burying them okay i think you have to um do it from the perspective of jess i think jess would say well okay let's just say yeah and not the actors because i don't want to yeah the characters the Let's say Mary Winston, one night seeing Nick. I'm sorry we have to bury Schmidt because he does a lot of bad. He does a lot of bad stuff. Love. Okay. You had both of your kids while filming this show. Did you have any hesitations about starting a family during a really busy time in your career?

49:56That's a really great question. It was hard. I mean, I remember being like, before I could tell anyone I was pregnant, like, because when you're like, less than 12 weeks pregnant, you're not not supposed to tell. But I remember being like, like, 11 weeks pregnant or something. And you're not supposed to drink coffee. Like, you're not like, you're like one cup of coffee. And like, I'm used to working like really, really long hours. Like people don't realize like in TV you work like in films like you work like, oh, 16 hour days like normal. So I'm in nights and like crazy. And I remember working a night and it was like a really long day.

50:39And I couldn't drink coffee and I was just drinking like orange juice like nonstop and just being like, this is crazy. Was anyone like, Zoe, do you want a coffee? And I'd be like, no, thank you. I just I'm loving this juice. it's like they're like we've never seen you drink orange juice before i'm like but i'm loving it now oh my god it's like the only way i could keep away it was like sugar like okay so you at first were like okay i'm trying to hide it and then once you did you tell your cast first did you announce it to the world like how did you go about that yeah i told them like a little bit before i announced it and then like they kind of had to write it in so yeah i i told them and then they were not write it in.

51:24They had to figure out whether they want to write it in or hide it, which they chose to hide it both times. I did think it would have been cool to have written it in because that would have been a cool storyline, I think. But I know there were a lot of great minds thinking on it and they decided not to. And I was just like carrying around laundry baskets like for whole seasons. Constantly holding things behind planters. What do you think is the biggest challenge that you've faced balancing motherhood and career? Oh, that's, that's another great question. Okay. So, um, I like really want to be a good mom and I always like want to show up for them like whenever I can.

52:05Um, but yeah, I mean, I've like, I realized that. So whenever I'm off work, I just show up for like everything. Like I'm there picking them up. I'm dropping them off. Like I'm crafting in the, you know, classroom. I'm taking them to play dates. Like I'm going and sitting and waiting for them outside their, you know, their dance classes and all the things. And, and then when I'm working, I just try as much like, I'm like, okay, now it gets to like, okay, they, they get that, you know, I have to work. And now I show, you know, it's like, then it's like the school plate. Like there's certain things where it's like, you gotta be there in as much as you can.

52:49I get sometimes you can't, but like try to get there for like whatever the big game or the school play or like those big things because those are the things they remember a lot. That's what I feel like a lot of women, especially in a beautiful way now that so many more women are working. I think that there's the fear that a lot of women also talk about the reality of mom guilt and being like, oh my God, I'm here, but I need to, I also wish I was here. And like, how have you kind of balanced that when you are working to not let it just like overtake you? Because it can feel probably like a lot.

53:23Well, sometimes you feel like you're like, you're like, do these people have endless time? Like some people just have a lot of time to go and volunteer all the time. And it's amazing. And I like that is an incredibly important thing. But I don't always have time to do that. And it doesn't mean that I'm not a great mom. You know, I think it's like understanding that like kids, if they feel loved, like that's the most important thing. And, you know, and it's like everyone has different ways. Just like you connect with any person, whether they're grown up or a kid, but it's like you connect with your kids in unique ways.

53:56And it's like my kids and I each have specific things we connect on. And I try to like really lean into those things, you know. We make little movies together. That's like something we do. And we'll like pick a genre and like watch a movie in the genre. And then we'll make a little movie in the genre and I'll edit it. And my son likes to do like stop motion animation. So we try to work that in. and then my daughter likes that. They loves acting. So they... You're a good acting partner to have. Well, I don't even act in them. You're just directing. They act in them. Oh, you're directing and editing.

54:36It's really cute. Yeah, I direct and edit. Yeah, it's really fun. And so it's been... And sometimes I'm surprised. Like I only watched the Maltese Falcon because we were making a film noir and I was like, there's no way they're going to sit through this. And then they sat through the whole thing. They were like totally happy. look you're doing what your dad did now they're gonna have good taste right you have good taste they have good taste um let's talk about your relationship yes you are engaged to jonathan scott yes i know that you guys met filming carpool karaoke which is literally adorable at what point though did you realize that you were into him and that there was like a spark or a connection right away i was like he's really cute like handsome guy and I was like going through a divorce that was like kind of under wraps because we were, you know, like for our kids, we were like, you know, in divorce mediation.

55:30And so I was just kind of like looking for someone to flirt with. Like I was like, oh, I'll flirt with him. He's fun, you know? And yeah, we like immediately had a connection and it took a while for him to like drag it out that I was like getting a divorce and then yeah and then we've been like inseparable ever since he's like the nicest person we and your siblings were both in the car yeah for carpool karaoke afterwards was your sister like this is a no-brainer or did they not see the chemistry she might have been like I knew that like I was like I'm going on a date with Jonathan like she might have been like I knew it that's such a sister thing to like pretend they knew exactly I'm like, no, you didn't.

56:14No, that literally never happened. Well, she kind of does know everything. I know. I don't like to let my sister know that she knows everything. Do you have an older sister? Older. Yeah. So she's older. So she doesn't. My sister knows everything. But I'm like, no, you don't. No, you don't. Yeah. She's like, okay. Anyways, come to me when you want the answers. I'm like, oh, my God. Okay. So you go from carpool karaoke to dating. Like, who made the first move? Like, what happened?

56:40Well, it was probably like a mutual, like, first move. Um, but, um, we had a really like funny first date where like half the time he was trying to drag it out of me, like what was going on. And I was like, I'll tell you later. Cause we were like in a crowded restaurant and then we did like karaoke and like, we were just going from the thing to thing. And then he's like, I want you to see this house I'm renovating. And I was like, oh, he's going to try to kiss me. And then he didn't. Cause he's just a nerd who's trying to show me a house. And then I was like, well, that went like really badly.

57:12Stop. And I got in the car and he was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Like, you left really fast. And you're like, I thought I was going to get a make out. Yeah. I was like, I thought we were vibing. And you eventually got your kiss. So you're fine. Yeah, we did. Second date. Perfect. What is Jonathan's best quality as a partner? He's like so. He's very kind. and he's like he's like almost like methodical about making sure you're um like everything's like you're supported he's very supportive and kind and like and like just he's a really nice person i mean he's canadian done that way canadian say no more i'm like got it we love canada we love canadians um what do you think he would say your best quality as a partner is um i'm fun i'm literally the life of the party obviously okay like i bring the good i'm very fun and he's kind and i'm fun he's also really fun too i'm kind too i'm kind too i have good taste in men done um okay so you got engaged i know at a castle on vacation yeah i had like i'm curious did you have any idea you knew you were getting proposed to?

58:33No, nothing. I had like thought other times we might get like engaged and then it didn't happen. And so I was like, I guess it's never gonna happen because we'd been together like a long time. And we were in Edinburgh, which where his family's from. And I also like am originally Scottish, like my family. And, but his dad is from, actually from like near Glasgow. um in lanark and um which is like i don't know an hour from edinburgh anyway he loves edinburgh castle and we were going there like with the kids like on a tour and there was this whole this was what was so funny they were like all these things that i flagged but didn't like i just said like that's weird because there was a thing that said like you might meet members of the royal family so you can't wear a hat in the calendar like there will be things and i was like what I was like the queen like they wear hats all the time like royal family like is obsessed with hats why can't I wear a hat because I'm always wearing a hat because I like don't want sun I'm terrified of the sun um and I'm like that's so lame and he's like no I mean it makes sense and I was like okay whatever I didn't wear a hat then it was like he's like you have to dress kind of nice and I was like okay and I had like a silk blouse and like a silk skirt I just put them on they were like in my suitcase like so wrinkled he's like oh um do you would you like to iron those and I was like no I was like iron that's like that sounds terrible that sounds like work right that I don't want to do and he's like I'll iron them and I was like okay this poor man is just trying to make sure you look gorgeous yeah you're like he's like he's like and I guess my mom was like she's gonna need like hair and makeup oh he was like you should like make sure to do your hair like for this random tour you're like what are you trying to say why do i need to do my hair but then i got it and then there was another surprise which was incredible because i'm incredibly close with my parents and and they weren't there for the proposal and but we went to paris afterwards like the like maybe a day or two later and we were going to this restaurant La Coupe that like we went growing up we'd go to Paris like every summer my family is French my dad's family and um when we got there we said oh Deschanel and she said Caleb and I was like oh that's weird and I was like oh no that's because um they just have it like in their system and then we walked in my parents were sitting there waiting for us so they surprised us that's adorable and Jonathan had like arranged the whole thing yeah he's very thoughtful you That's really, really cute.

1:01:23Okay, are you wedding planning? Yes, but it's really like a lot of pressure because like, you know, he designs like incredible spaces and like I'm like, there's like no space like worthy of such a wedding. It's really hard to find. That's not like a gazillion. Of course. Dollars. Wait, you just got married. Yes, I got married almost two years ago, like a year and a half. Was that so fun? It was so amazing. But I really, really love that my husband took such part in the planning, if not like really helped do it because I was like, I don't want to do this on my own. And again, to each their own.

1:01:59There are some women that are like, I'm doing this whole thing. But like, I really wanted my husband to plan it. And we went through all these different locations and all the things. And then we eventually found what we wanted to do and it was perfect. But it is very stressful. It's fun, but it's stressful. So you're going to figure it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we've both been married before. Right. So I'm like, this one has to be the most fun. But maybe that takes less pressure, right? Because you've had weddings before. So maybe you can be like, yeah, what do we want now? You kind of get to like, yeah, have a do over.

1:02:32I know. Which is why it takes forever. Right. You're like, oh, God. You're like, he's like, oh, we'll do this. You're like, no, but I did that at that wedding. And that was not fun. Mix that. um i was gonna say because you guys have both been married before um as you were getting more serious how openly were you able to just talk about past relationships and like what worked and what didn't work yeah um i'm very open so yeah i mean it was we're it was pretty easy um because i i'm pretty open but you know the thing is like to me it's just all about like chemistry It's like what, you know, it's like we, he and I can be together and it's like easy, you know?

1:03:14And so I think it's like more just about like, you know how people like that person's the one or whatever. I think what that means is that you can be around them and it's like feels like easy and like not stressful. And, you know, it just like, that's what I felt when I was with him. And I think he feels the same way where it's just like we can be together and like have fun but also like he likes to tinker around the house he's always like fixing stuff and he has like a list of things and like I have like I like to go out and go shopping whatever I like to do you know um and hang out with my cats or um and yeah it just we can just be around each other it's easy it's amazing um you said in an interview that people think of divorce as this terrible thing and you have to hate each other but that isn't true what has your experience been like Yeah, I don't hate anyone that I was with before.

1:04:08And, you know, it's it's awesome because my kid's dad is a great dad. And like I always want to like support him as a parent. And we have like a you know, it's like we have a group chat like Jonathan and Jacob and I and and and yeah, I mean, like my kids thrive when they know that we all care for each other. and we socialize and we've been on vacations together. And we've been through a lot. So I explained to my son, I remember when he was little and he was like, wait, because he was so little, he doesn't remember like before we got divorced. But he goes like, how come you and daddy don't live in the same house?

1:04:53And I was like, we get along better if we're in different houses. It's a good way to say it. This is actually better for everyone. Yeah, yeah. We get along great as long as we're in different houses. So true. What boundaries do you think like because I'm sure a lot of people like, oh, my gosh, I'm that sounds so great. Like to have like a healthy relationship with exes and whatever. But like what boundaries do you think have to be in place to just make sure that, you know, you can have blended families? Yeah. If you have any advice. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I talk to people about this all the time because there are people like it's really hard for them to let go of like feeling mad you have to let go of like any anger you'd feel and I know that sounds difficult but it's actually pretty easy when you just go like look the most important thing is that the you know the kids are happy and and that they're thriving and um and and it's kind of like respecting them for them you know it's like I respect his opinions and his point of view like being a parent it's not always the same as mine but like he respects mine and and so I think and And two, if you set the tone, too, you go like, I respect you, then people are a lot more likely to be like, then I respect you, you know?

1:06:05So like, I think it goes both ways. So then he'll respect me and I respect him. And then it just keeps and then the respect just keeps generating and building, you know? Yeah. It's like just having like an understanding that, yes, things didn't work out, but we have these beautiful children. So to like maintain love there for the kids is like beautiful. Yeah, he's a fantastic dad. I'm so lucky that, you know, he's my kid's dad. I know I read that you said you and your ex agreed to meet each other's partners before they met the kids. Why was that something that was so important to you guys? Yeah, just I think, you know, that's the one like really big unknown when you get divorced.

1:06:44And I think it also gives a sense there's a little bit of a boundary there with so that the kids, like, they get attached to whoever you're with. And if they're meeting the kids, and they're around the kids, then they are going to get attached. And it's like, you don't want anyone to take that lightly. Like, I wouldn't want them to get attached to somebody unless I knew they were going to be in their lives, you know. So even if it, you know, so it kind of set up, it kind of set up this just a little bit of a protocol so that we took it seriously before we'd introduce a partner to the kids.

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1:09:48But we're celebrating the holidays, Zoe. Merv, congratulations. What can you tell us about the movie? And just like, how do you feel about it? It's such a cute movie. I'm really, really excited about it. It's got so much fun stuff. It's a rom-com, which like I love rom-com so much. And like, I feel like they went away for a while. Like there weren't that many of them. And I feel happy there's like, you know, more stuff like that coming out because I feel like people crave rom-coms. It's such a sweet story. It's with Charlie Cox, who is amazing, great actor, and is really funny and great in this.

1:10:26It's about a couple that breaks up, but they share a dog, And then the dog becomes depressed. And then they end up having to take the dog on a beach vacation to try to cheer him up over the holidays. So we have holidays. We have dogs. We have rom-com. Okay, wait. But you're a cat person. I know. Did this sway you to be more of a dog person? Well, I was a dog person. Oh, okay. So I only recently became a cat person. Oh. I love dogs. But they're a little more like maintenance. Yes. Yes. And I actually love both dogs and cats. And I would call my cats kind of, well, my favorite cat. Sorry. Sorry.

1:11:08I love them all. But she's kind of like a dog cat. What is her name? Her name is Dove. She's like really fluffy and cute. And she, the reason why, like I say, like she's my favorite, the other ones would get it. They're listening to this obviously right now. They're big fans. They're all listening right now. um but yeah um well she just loves me the most and she like jumps in my lap she's like really really affectionate they're they're really affectionate cats so what made you want to do another holiday movie well I didn't really when I read this I didn't like think like that was like it's it's more of like a holiday movie in that it has holidays a backdrop and you can watch it on Christmas and feel Christmassy but it's not like it's not like Elf where it's like holidays is front and center.

1:11:59I'd say like rom-com and dog are front and center and then holiday is like a accent color. Yeah, it's like piping on a sweater. Like a collar. Like a nice scarf. What was your favorite part of making this movie? It was so fun. Jess Swale, the director, I love her and Charlie is amazing and it was really fun working with the two of them and kind of we kind of like did a lot of improvisation and trying to make it like the most kind of funny version of itself was really so much fun. I hadn't done like a really big dog movie and that was funny to watch the dog just like love sausages. You're like there's a lot of things I saw in that set that were the dog just like loves like they have these little bits of sausage and the dog just obsessed and that's how you got him like sit yeah like he looks so cute and you're like it's because he's looking at a sausage honestly in hindsight my dogs would probably love to be on a movie set because you just like yeah coerce them with treats every five seconds like stay sit don't they put they have health so like basically they give them like healthy treats so that it's not like they're yes they're not just plumping up the whole yeah yeah they're not like they're not like bad free treats so they're very healthy treats really cute but they'll give them like chicken and stuff like that.

1:13:20But yeah, and sausages. Well, I'm so excited for everyone to watch it. Where can we watch it? It's on Amazon. Love. Yes. Okay, well, everyone will tune in. Zoe, thank you so much for coming on Color Daddy. It was a pleasure. Thank you for having me. This was lovely. This is a very special holiday episode. Brought to you by Zoe and Alex. Happy holidays, everyone. You're like, now I wish. Happy holidays. Do you wish you wore a little suit? You're like, no. You're like, no. I'm mad at myself for not. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me.

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