S10, Ep1: Joy Crookes, musician

0:00This is The Guardian.

0:07I'm Grace Dent and this is Comfort Eating from The Guardian a podcast where we pay homage to the lesser celebrated foods in life because even as a restaurant critic I believe the food that matters most is often that snack you cobble together when you're curled upon the sofa each week I ask my guest to lift the lid on what comfort foods have seen them through their lives because you can tell a lot about a person from what they eat behind closed doors hello friends you find me in the garden in my comfiest bucket chair waiting for the soul star joy crooks to arrive. She's driving herself here as we speak.

0:58I love it when a celebrity drives themselves here. Stephen Fry did it. Joe Brand did it. There's something about the thought that they've got all their teams and all their fame and all their power and the people that want to do things for them, but they're still getting their car keys, coming here, asking for a parking permit, filling it out themselves. It just feels like they've still got their feet on the ground. South Londoner Joy Crooks is only 26, but already her music is absolutely everywhere. If anyone could afford to get a taxi, it's Joy Crooks. With Bangladeshi and Irish heritage, Joy writes music that's rich in politics, identity and a lot of raw feeling, all wrapped up in production that nods to Amy Winehouse, to Lauryn Hill and the trip hop of 90s England.

1:56A debut album, Skin, was an intimate patchwork of heartbreak, protest and pride, earning her not just accolades and a Brit Award nomination, but passionate and loyal fan base. A rollercoaster of success was interrupted by her mental health struggles, which has led to a long hiatus. But she's back with a new single and a big European tour underway. Things sound very busy, but what I want to know is what Joy turns to for comfort when she's dashing between studios, stages and airports.

2:42Joy Crooks. Hi Grace. Welcome to Comfort Eden. Thanks for having me. Did you drive? Yeah. I've got a really nice car as well. Got a Suzuki Jimny. It's so cool. Is it pretty? It looks like a toy car. Has it got a name? Dolores. There you go. You know when I got to this road, someone outside did the biggest fart. Some man sitting on the street did the biggest fart I'd ever heard. Was it the kind of flatulence that's affecting my house price? No, but it's definitely an entrance when you come onto this street. I'll tell you that for free. He could fart for England for the Olympics. I was so shocked at the noise that came out of his ass that I almost thought I should have sampled that.

3:25You have said in the past that your guilty pleasure is getting your nails done. Why was it guilty? Because of the money. When I started getting my nails done, I didn't have the money to be able to do that. But it was like South London had deals. So if you went to Camberwell, it was eight quid for acrylics. But if you're on Woolworth Road, which is what I did, it was£10. And£10 went a long way back then. Do£8 acrylics stay on? No. And they also definitely give you like some form of like infection that is probably not great for you. I think that an£8 acrylic probably infects the nail bed. It definitely infects the nail bed.

4:00And also, if you're getting eight pound nails, you need to think about what the vibes are in the nail shop. Like, I have never seen fights like the ones I've seen in nail shops. I've seen people get assaulted in nail shops. I actually saw that last week. It was crazy. Do you know where nail shop fights start from? It's always from someone whose acrylic has fallen off. Yes, agreed. Coming back in with one missing acrylic and going, you need to do this now. While the lady's knees deep in someone else's manicure. Yeah. And it's like, no. And like just makes a clear point of being like, can you wait?

4:36And then they lose it. And the woman that lost it last week, she did the American thing. I didn't know actually looked good in real life, but she did the sweep everything off the table while I was sitting getting my nails done. She swept everything off the table. I managed to catch something that was coming from my face, but she did the sweep. And I was kind of dumbfounded by the fact that it looked so good. When you have fresh nails, what's the first thing that you would eat? What can you get away with? Probably like something hanging off the nail. A hula hoop? No, as in I'm really, really funny about them being really right.

5:16Okay. And if there's like a little bit of like, I'll start picking at the nail. If there's any bit that's like, you know, when you get a little like glue or things, like I'll pick that and maybe I don't want to say I eat it because that's really gross but I just I do bite my nails and I bite my skin too so it's also why I always have fake nails so the first thing you would eat with a fresh manicure joy crooks this beautiful vision of daintiness and delicacy and gorgeousness in front of me is the actual acrylic I don't think I need any more questions thank you for i can't lie to you grace

6:00it's snack time this is the comfort food that tells me so much about my guests look whatever it is i'm ready joy there's about three trays going on here yeah we need what we should do is let's reveal the snacks and i want you to pour forth what the heck we're looking at can you smell anything if the smells have been insane yeah reveal reveal reveal oh my god oh my goodness joy what joy it really feels with this food like it's as much of a surprise to you as it is to me no it's just the way that she's done it she she who is she my mum she never does it like this but she's labeled everything what we have in front of us is one two three four five six seven eight nine ten separate silver trays with the with the white cardboard tops like you would get from the greatest takeaways joy's mom's is this your mom's hand right in on the top of it all yeah okay so pilar rice tomato borta prawn borta dal borta aubergine borta sea bream fish borta yes yes yes fyi my favorite of all of those is the prawn borta these are eggs for the biryani yes i reckon these two are lamb biryani two massive trays of lamb biryani your mother isn't here right now but i feel like she's in the room oh she's definitely present yeah she's in love and then prawn and tomato sauce and then we have traditional Bangladeshi salad I how many how many people does your mother think work on comfort eating is it 10 or 11 12 I said to her like it will only be like a couple of us eating or maybe four like I tried to keep it minimal because I knew that she does this um we've got to get these things open yeah we've got to get them open but this is what the board there is what I I said was my comfort food and then she just decided to just add to the vibe basically so right okay well open one lamb right first of all this is what i want to know is this where's this food from this food is bangladeshi and also my mom is a pitch perfect cook so anything she's ever tasted she uh can make so that doesn't just include bengali food that includes every pretty much every nation's food bloody hell but yeah both those uh food that i'm obsessed with by an absolute long chalk.

8:37This is the most plentiful, the most vibrant, the most detailed amount of food that anybody has ever sent. And I already am a bit smitten with your mother. I'm not going to lie. I love the fact there's extra eggs for the biryani. Well, she curries them. Oh, my God, the eggs. in front of me two beautiful boiled eggs curried orange in in shade they're pretty yummy okay so the comfort food that I wanted to bring in and felt like it was only right for my mum to make is bogda so as you can see it kind of looks like different pace or for lack of better words it looks like mash in Bangladesh you can only really ever make this much because everything is chopped and grounded the prawn in this will have been boiled but there's no garlic because it's nothing is really cooked apart from whatever the active thing is so this the fish in this is cooked the dal in this is cooked and then it's mustard oil and lots of onion and uh coriander and chili it's actually very simple but every single one has such a strong flavor profile um that the way we eat it which i'll show you is you just have white rice and then you have each brother separately kind of almost like a little rainbow on your plate yeah and you you have to use your hands okay because I appreciate that cutlery is nice but we all ate with our hands I don't even know where to start I wanted to bring it in because I think when a lot of people hear South Asian food they think India and unfortunately in this country they think stuff like chicken tikka masala or curry yeah when actually this is the type of food we are eating South Asian food obviously South Asia is large but it is often massively overlooked in this country considering how much involvement this country had in those places and I wish that more people understood that we're not just chicken tikka masala and rice we are expansive and extensive and complex and the flavours are really really vast and interesting.

10:47Do you live near your mother? Not close enough I'm in South and she's in West. I think South London and West London as well, two very different places. Absolutely. Why did you go back South? I grew up in South London. I lived in West for a year and a half. I didn't particularly like it, and I don't know if West particularly liked me. I'm not going to say anything more than that. I just don't want to piss people off. I love the fact that the only time you've held back and what you're going to say so far is when you're scared of upsetting Notting Hill. and it's like a load of people in range rovers are going to turn up and just be mad and really upset but in gilets yeah exactly i'm like trying to concentrate when my mouth is salivating massively okay so on your plate you have got tomato butter this is the prawn butter yeah this is the aubergine butter dal and the sea bream do you know the thing is though is eating with my hands.

11:49I want you to show me how to do it. I mean, I just always feel like so completely English. That's okay. When I'm like, when I have to eat with my hands. I don't think you need to feel a type of way about it. Honestly, you just have to enjoy yourself. Let's eat. Let's eat. Let's start with the prawn here. So you take a bit of the prawn. Yeah. And you're going to take some of the rice and you're just going to make like a little parcel. You see? Yeah. You see what I mean? Can I get straight in that. That's delicious. It's mustardy and prawn. Mastodoyle. Oh my god. Oh my god. It's pretty good. Prawn is always my favourite.

12:24If you went back to your mother's house on a night, well, you know, if you said, I've only got a few hours, what would she make? She'd make me anything. She's just always pissed off that I gave her such little notice. I'm spoiled when it comes to half cooking. Can you see why it's comfort food? Yeah. Oh my god. I can't get my questions because I've dialed my laptop.

12:51the thing is i think you're the one of the first people who's come on this podcast i i sense that you are almost created as a human being because of food there is a love story in your family that starts with a sandwich. Yes, there is. Your mum, this wonder woman, when she's still a teenager, starts a catering business and ends up wooing your dad through lunch. Yeah, through a sandwich, yeah. There's like a running joke that we call her sandwich lady, but she kind of hates it. But yeah, they started dating when she was 19 and he was like 29. She comes over from Bangladesh. She's about 19 years old.

13:40She clearly can cook. She came when she was like a teen, but like a late teen, and then dropped out of uni and started a catering business. You grew up in Elephant and Castle. You attend a Catholic school. And at home, it's Bangla music on the one hand, and then Irish punk music on the other side via your father. This is two highly different cultural worlds. I said yesterday I was talking to my team about you and I went, I've been in London since the early 90s and I have never met anyone who is this mix. You are a very special entity. Did it feel like a clash of cultures growing up? Yeah, for sure.

14:26I feel like you can't come from two extremely contrasting cultures and not feel dips. at times I think that's really normal and I think also trying to explain that to anyone I can't even really explain it myself I know how to move within those kind of gray areas but your dad um where's he from in Ireland North Dublin which is like real Dublin he clearly wanted you to have this Irish side because he when you did the Irish dancing yeah yeah yeah he was very he was like you're gonna grow up the way that i grew up can you still irish dance yeah you never lose it if you had to do if if you had to if they said you can you can headline coachella but you have to come on like river dance that's fine i'd do it i'd be like easy give me a hundred quid river dance is not always michael flat lead it's there was a time where it wasn't absolutely capitalized by him I don't really rate Michael Flatley I'm so sorry I think that's the most controversial thing you've said so far I think it might be the most controversial thing I've said but I actually think we're going to have to go into damage limitation McFeet O 'Flames himself I can't stand him yeah he gives me the ick with his little perfect hair and his little jacket the ick Irish dancing was I don't know I just you know what I know I've upset a lot of people saying that I don't care I don't rate Michael Flatley I love Riverdance can't stand him mic drop So let's just sit with that for a second.

16:02You've got three brothers growing up, three brothers eating, meal times. Well, they're 10 to 15 years younger than me. So the general consensus was if there is bone marrow and it is not given to me, I will lose it. That goes deep. I saw a narrowing of the eyes there about bone marrow. I love bone marrow. Do you like to scoop the bone marrow out with the little foam? No, suck it first. first they suck it and then if that doesn't work I get right in there with like a chopstick these days or a toothpick it just kind of depends on the circumference my first brother was 10 years younger than me and I was just like I want to keep him forever please I heard you say once that one of the greatest gifts that you ever had was when my brother your little brother arrived as a baby I could cry about it now I love him so much he is a little shit though but I love him so much you're 10 years old you come in one day and there's a little no no no that's not how it works I had a Motorola Pebble when I was at Pineapple Dance Studios because my mum used to be able to get me in there free because she had a calf in there and then basically I looked on my Motorola after like a footloose awful awful choreography that I never want to think of again and I flipped the phone and there he was and I ran from Covent Garden to St Thomas's I ran I'll never forget I I ran any obstacle that was in my way.

17:29I just and went straight for the hospital and I grabbed him. And then basically I couldn't let him go. So when he was three days old, they were discharged. And then we went to like an Italian restaurant. I always remember food around these things, obviously. We went to an Italian restaurant and then we went back home and he fell asleep on my chest and I fell asleep with him. My question is that you're allowed to headline Coachella, but after you come out of Riverdance, you've got to go into that Footloose dance. No, then I need like 10 grand for that, I reckon. It's just not good. I just don't like me.

18:11Footloose, kick off your Sunday shoes. I'm not a musical theatre girl, in case you couldn't tell. That's just not for me. No, no, no, no. You've spoken a lot about your grandmother and your song 19th Floor is inspired by her story. Big part of your childhood. Give me an idea about your grandmother. What's the story there? My grandma was like, OK, you want to date an Irish man? Cool. Can I meet his mum and dad? And so there is a vivid image in my head of Frank and Mary Crooks coming to the UK and sitting in Stockwell in my grandma's flat and eating Bengali food. and them just being like what did you say that was garlic that's gorgeous that tastes delicious I never had any oh that's very spicy I don't know what's that and it was just the most beautiful thing my grandma my Bangladeshi nanny really got on with my Irish family and they were extremely harmonious so I think actually that harmony and that bread breaking was a very very transformative day for me.

19:19But your grandmother arrived here she had quite the story before she arrived is this the woman that taught women to ride bikes? Yeah in Bangladesh. So she was teaching women to ride bikes in Bangladesh it got her into trouble? Yeah yeah her colleague was murdered because she was teaching women how to ride bikes and I guess that meant having women having autonomy and obviously riding a bike just sounds like riding a bike but I think in that moment it was definitely like a big thing for those women their husbands didn't like it we were talking about it the other day when I was in Bangladesh and their husbands didn't love it they didn't love the fact that they were going off and doing this yeah also when you ride a bike you can't ride a bike in a skirt so you have to make kind of trousers out of your sari uh they didn't love city daca i think it was like i don't know how many kilometers but it was a large amount and it ended up in like local newspapers and stuff which only furthered like people being pissed off at her yeah notoriety for doing this um and they murdered her colleague and they just said you're next so and she fled to iran yes and then she left iran and came to london as an asylum yeah because the obviously iran she moved before the islamic revolution so all the pictures of her in iran she looks like a gucci campaign i know she was a waitress yeah here and then basically her her food trajectory in london was solely catering yeah so she used to cater for spitalfields she then i mean she only moved from here back to bagnadesh two years ago and even two three years ago she'd get me to whip around brixton in my peugeot 206 and be like stop here stop here stop here she had this magical trolley that apparently had a heater in it which was false it was just because there were so many bionis in there they all heat each other up and i think she sold them for three to five quid but you would get like the heftiest portion yeah and i used to put her on my stories because i thought it was hilarious that she basically treated me like we were on some kind of convoy drug deal effectively she'd be like oh bernardo's yeah yeah i've got i've got clients here stop right here i'm like i'm on a double red she's like i don't give a fuck and then she'd slip out of the barnados after like getting 10 quid because she served two people and she'd slip me the fiber and obviously i had a drop top convertible so the whole thing just felt like a skip but it was real life i honestly i just loved that but when she was on my story i'm on a double red and she's like babes i fled around i don't care yeah i don't i literally don't care i fled bangladesh and iran i literally don't care and then she gave me she'd give me the fiver and then i'd put this all on my story because obviously i'm like an early i'm in my early 20s and i find shit like that hilarious and uh everyone would people would message me that's your grandma they go yeah and they go i've been buying briani of her for the last however many years

22:38you grew up with a wallpaper of sound Bengali rhythms Irish melodies poetry punk yeah and then at some point in your teenage years you start to hone in on your fascination for music what happened I don't really know because I don't have like a like a compelling story for how I got into music I just love music period I've heard you talk about Laura Marlin yeah I I love Laura. Yeah, I love Laura Marling. So I still love Laura Marling so much. Her new album and the song Caroline did exactly what her music did to me when I was 14. So I just learned how to play guitar because I just liked music. You slid into posting cover songs on YouTube.

23:21Yeah. And then there's this moment, right? So even if you didn't have any plans, life makes plans for you. You're 15 and you upload a cover of Hit The Road Jack. 600 ,000 views yeah it was it was a lot more than the usual 200 I would get and then one day you're you know you're doing maths and English GCSEs and then suddenly you get 600 ,000 I thought that there'd been a glitch you know I just I was pretty confused initially and uh I got I was managed when I was 15 I signed a management contract when I was 15 I don't have like family and music or anything so I think we were all just kind of like that sounds good go for it and also in case you well my dad was like if I'm being completely honest my dad was like you don't get these opportunities just fly through your life you have to take these things and like respectfully my family are so incredibly based in having the immigrant experience that I think when we saw opportunities we were like you have got to grab that by the fucking cojones and go for it and that's kind of the vibe I got from my dad.

24:30He was like, you're going to do this. He was by my side for the whole thing. I feel like I'm talking to an accidental pop star, an accidental singer. I feel like this wasn't the plan. I don't think it was, no. I mean, I knew I wanted to study history and that fell through. Somewhere in the middle of all that, your mum and your siblings, they leave South London, they go to West London. It's like, you're about 14. This must be a tough time to move house. yeah it was shite i didn't want to move to west london but it was really nice i learned about notting hill and labbrook grove and um how similar it was to south london in terms of like the um richness in culture from all the cultures specifically the caribbean culture there when i shit on notting hill and labbrook grove know that it's just the tories it's not anyone else I swear we all like a Gail's croissant now and again don't we?

25:25no way that's the point where she's actually going to draw a line in the sand not having a Gail's croissant it feels like at this point in your life there's a sadness there when you're talking about it but this point when you're 14 and 15 is there like family upheaval there's no point in my life when there hasn't been family upheaval that's just the realest I can be about that I just think that families are extremely complicated full stop and I think you scratch the surface of any family even the families I used to sit around and think oh I wish I wish they could this could be like my family and actually I take it back because I'm like you're all every single person has some kind of fucked up family situation whether it affects them personally or it's kind of in the horizon of family you know these are people we don't pick these are people that are our blood and we accept them and we try to and it is difficult but every family is complicated and also we're talking Bangladeshi Irish family so there's fire there one of your earliest jobs waitressing in a Polish restaurant yes are you a good waitress I think so I think if I have the right footwear I'm pretty good I mean I wasn't expecting that answer hang on if you have the right footwear so you're saying it's so starchy that when it falls on the floor you can just and that had almost happened to me a million times until I got the right pair of Air Force and then I was good how did you end up waitressing in a Polish restaurant but I ate there every every other day I ate there what was it called?

27:10Mamushka in West London? No, it was in Elephant and Castle. I ate there so much. They looked at me one day and said, do you want to work here? You're here all the time. And I was like, that's crazy. And yes, I am looking for a job because I had just gone around all of central London giving my CV out. You go to Mamushka so many times. It's just almost like a natural state of affairs that you start taking the plates to the kitchen. Basically, they had a£2.50 soup and it would fill you up so two pound fifty for a filling meal was like no brainer for me or it was the three pound burjani so there's irish food yeah bengali food where does pol what's polish food it's like irish food why it's got the same heft yeah you did you did a hand it's not for the week it's just not for the week a heavy it's ballsy food yeah if i go to mamushka did you call it yeah If I go past my mushka and I walk in, first of all, I'll name drop you.

28:08And then what do I order? You order one of the fruit juices because they have these like fruit juices that are on tap that I don't even know what they put in it. They put there's a lemon one and then there's like a red one. The red one is gorgeous. I used to mix the two. Get that. Get a I like a Polish stout. So a debover, which is like an 8 % stout. It's not for the week. Yeah. Then you're going to get pierogi. to start with like bacon on top and like the sour cream that it comes with then for a main course I would get the potato pancakes can't remember what they're called but every Polish person listening here will know what I'm talking about yeah potato pancakes they are yeah again not for the week this is why you're sipping on the stout and a fruit juice and then for dessert have the malenko which is a honey cake and it is gorgeous and it's like a meal dumplings pancakes Cakes, cake, three courses.

29:06Yeah, not for the week. That's why you need the right footwear. And a stout that's 8%. Yeah. And get a shot too, because if they know you were sent by me, they'd give you a shot of Zubrova. What's the top tip for getting tips if you're a waitress in a Polish restaurant? Be Polish. That helps. Yeah. I can from my experience I can tell you being Polish helps working at a Polish restaurant. Did you ever manage to pass as Polish? No obviously not and people made a real point of it which really pissed me off actually however when people came in that weren't Polish there was a really really lovely family from New Orleans.

29:47I have no idea why they were in this Polish restaurant but they were like we want to try Polish food. I can never forget their five pound tip. It was so sweet I didn't expect it at all and it's only because I just showed interest. My mum always taught me because I used to work in her cafe. She always taught me just be interested in people. It goes such a long way.

30:16You're nominated for Brit's Rising Star Award. At the ceremony, the ceremony always looks like wall-to-wall glamour. It was a bit stressful because you have to get the outfit, you have to do the red carpet. It was fun. Was it fun? Yeah, I had fun. I had a yellow lingo, which is like a traditional Bangladeshi outfit. And I felt very ballsy for wearing that to the Brits. I was trying to be a little rebellious and I liked that. And I liked watching the videos back and me walking the red carpet and just being a bit rebellious. I don't know. You can just tell that I want to poke and I just like that.

30:55Yeah, you could have just called in like a frog. yeah exactly but I wore traditional clothing and I felt very proud of that and there was some controversy around that because it got called a costume and I liked the controversy I just liked it I liked poking it felt nice it felt like you know I wasn't being radical I just felt like being a little bit different 2021 you release your debut album Skin so this is an exploration of identity grief love trauma I think some people go to therapy for soul searching and then it feels like you've just put it all into music am I right in saying that yeah definitely yeah skin was you have your whole life to work on your first album and skin was my first kind of like stamp.

31:50And I definitely explored all those things because I was just very interested in them since I was really young. Did you feel better at the end of it? I guess. I felt quite hedonistic. I had a really fun time after I released skin. Felt like all the shite had come out so all the fun could be in. What was the fun being an artist, being in being so you've you know you've gathered fans by this point you're you're on this upwards trajectory you've got fans you're releasing music you're realizing your dreams it was really fun yeah I had so much I had maybe too much fun it was so fun nightclubs clubbing and going out and meeting new people and snogging people and being silly and eating in nice places and being like hey mates I've got it don't worry and being able to treat my friends and just have a nice time and just feel like oh yeah I've like released an album and then just really ignoring the fact that what happens after a first album is a second one yeah so this is it at the same time your label are saying so have you got all those songs together for you no they weren't my label don't they didn't really put pressure on me like that because I was writing I always write I have like I have to write but um they were liking what I was writing and I was writing really good stuff I was in such a good headspace and people would take me aside and be like you just look the happiest you've ever been so it was amazing it was a real real high time for me it's four four years before you your next release comes out what's what's happened during that time well you have to campaign an album so after skin you have to go and sell it because people need to find out about the record you don't just spend all that time making a record to not go out and flash it to everyone so I was just flashing skin around you were flashing your skin I was flashing skin around to the world being like hear my music I'm playing live shows and it was a complicated time because it was still kind of COVID and kind of learning how to campaign and tour so I was campaigning and touring up until 2023 yeah and I had pretty much written the second album in that time as well and then 2023 uh saw me into a very dark time I became extremely unwell I was not in a good place and I had to really uh face my mental health issues when you peak up you can go down quite quickly and I flew down I felt as though I had no connection to anything or anyone I felt extremely lonely I felt very isolated and um all this like it's like when you boil peas all this stuff you know when they're done they come up yeah I just felt like I was all on all my shit was on the surface you know or like when you drink chai and it has that disgusting stuff that people like at the top the like curdy milk shit just felt like all my shite had come up and I had to make a decision as to whether I wanted to confront it and look at it and look at it in the eye and resolve some issues or to continue going as I was and just being aloof and fun and blah blah blah but I just in the hyper fun there was no connection and it's so easy to just be fucking yapping to someone at five in the morning that you don't give a shite about and you make absolutely wild promises to and you will never hear from again but I needed more than that do you think that fame was the thing that ultimately made you so sad and depressed at the end I don't know because I don't I'm not really that famous like I don't think it was fame I think it was just like I would I would maybe it is fame I would I put it to you, Joy Crooks, that you have played the pyramid stage.

35:53Yeah, that's true. I put it to you that my niece was more excited about coming to this house than any of the incredibly 30-year famous people that would come here. So you are famous. Do you think that it feels... Maybe it was that. No one's ever put it like that, but maybe it was that. I think it's really fucking isolating and I think that you start to become like do people rock with me because of who I am or who I am to the do they rock with me because I'm joy because I'm joy crooks you know and I didn't I just felt really lost and lonely and it's a multitude of things that brought me to that point in my life and stuff that come up from really far back and then newer things like fame and like feeling like I needed connection and were your family supportive are you are you from a family where you could go to them and go this has all been amazing and I've been on Glastonbury and it's all great but I actually am not happy now I'm not well yeah I spoke to them I definitely spoke to them my dad knew something was wrong he would come over to mine and I would just yeah try and explain even though I didn't really have the words for what was actually really going on but yeah I spoke to my family um and told them or tried to it's hard to like put into words you know because it's such a even at the time I didn't really know what was going on I just knew I felt fucked can I ask you one question about Glastonbury and playing the pyramid stage yeah what is it like sitting in the porter cabin before you go on you just feel like you want to shit yourself the whole day you feel like you're just going to shit yourself actually just like let me get a diaper on because this is bad and you also this is something I do all the time I always go in two hours this will be done in two hours this will be over um and you that all of these emotions will be gone in two hours and it'll be the other side of it and it sounds really pessimistic but it works it works and you can look around and everyone you're about to go on with is feeling the same so you're not alone and it was the crepe that I woke up to under my pillow in the morning that my best friend and I were sharing a tent that was the realest thing it was a plastic covered crepe and then I opened it and I just walked around and just looked like I was having a massive existential um and bumped into matt ross my friend's dad who like reassured me and it was just a nightmare and then all of us got onto the stage and didn't feel an ounce and they come and get you they're like right come on then come on joy but you don't feel nervous when you get on there it's absolutely bizarre as soon as you get on the stage yeah you do not feel nervous i'm not a sage burning kind of girl but i do know that glastonbury is on ley lines right there is some good juju white people juju going on there you know whatever the fuck that is kind of druidy people yeah there's some fucking paganism shit happening which is cool and interesting but the pyramid stage is never moved because i think that's where the ley lines meet the female male ley lines all i know is you get on that stage and i asked every single person in my band the nerves just went and it's a pyramid which pyramids are so symbolic and when it comes to all the spiritual stuff you can literally it's scientifically proven you can sleep on top of a pyramid and you sleep better wait do you want me to google it right now and tell you what they say can we finish by talking about juniper first please excuse my young lady look four year pause you're back i think you've had a rough time over the last couple of years are you happy now everything remotely looking in good shape i'm fixed everything's fine fixed i'm completely fixed your second album juniper is on its way so here we here we go again the usual chaos of being in this on the scene press touring constant movement it's a lot how is joy crooks staying grounded and taking care of her mental health going forward?

40:13I mean I eat well I train all the time go to the gym um I've got really sick group of friends I really love my friends so much. I can really tell that all the time you're talking to me there is a heavy bubbling whatsapp group happening and when you're gonna put take it off airplane mode it's like 97 messages. It's more the memes that we send each other i also have like a really really profound cat uh cat meme folder which is honestly like 170 posts deep are you a cat fan i love animals full stop i think my long time goal is to have a cat and dog farm when i set it up which i i will if you're ever feeling like being a pop star is just getting out of control i want you to turn up in a pair of dungarees and we can just pet llamas i'm super down

41:17being serious for a second if you weren't singing what is plan b because i have heard that you would actually like my job as a restaurant critic i i would like free food and like endless free food You started a site that, you started a YouTube series, Cooking with Crooksy. Yeah. Where you cook for famous friends. You've called yourself the Brown Nigella and also the Brown Gordon Ramsay. So out of the two, Gordon and Nigella, are you a sensual seductress or just a total tyrant? I'm a tender tyrant. Do you think you could be a restaurant critic? You've actually got to go in. Like 100%. If I can use the word tantalising once a week, I'd do anything to be in that position.

42:07Tantalising. Delectable. You are not the first person to come on to comfort eating who said they wanted to be a restaurant critic. You do have to be mean. And I think some people don't want to be mean. Oh, I'd love it. Yeah, I'd love that part. I'd actually do it for that part. I'll role play with you. someone goes someone walks up to the table the restaurant manager and they've got their baby in their arms um and they're like joy it's so good to see you because they know you a bit they're weaponizing their child you're weaponizing your child it doesn't make your spag bowl any better joy crooks first of all do not apply for my job because you are younger prettier and purter than me and will probably do it for less money.

42:54And secondly, Joy Crooks. Thank you for comfort eating with me. You are amazing. Do you think that when you go and like critic food next, if you ever have, like, can you ever bring guests? Of course I can. Can I come with you? Of course you can. Okay, sit.

43:14This episode of Comfort Eating was produced by Hattie Moyer. The executive producers and Lucy Greenwell and Greystant. The music was written by Axel Cucutier. Mixing and sound design was by Solomon King. If you love comfort eating, then go and leave us a review. And you can follow or subscribe so that you never miss an episode.

43:42This is The Guardian.

43:49Thank you.