S9, Ep5: Babatunde Aléshé, comedian

0:00This is The Guardian.

0:07A quick warning, there is some strong language in this episode. I'm Grace Dent and this is Comfort Eating from The Guardian. A podcast where we pay homage to the lesser celebrated foods in life. Because even as a restaurant critic, I believe the food that matters most is often that snack. you cobbled together when you curled upon the sofa. Each week, I ask my guest to lift the lid on what comfort foods have seen them through their lives. Because you can tell a lot about a person from what they eat behind closed doors. Hello, friends. Well, you find me putting my makeup on. It is the day after a spray tan.

0:59I finally look that magical bronzed shade. This is me at my absolute peak. Shout has to go out to Nat, by the way, signature skin. Essex's finest. Comes around to my house every Sunday. Erects a tent in the living room to do this. One of the only people on earth I can conduct a perfectly normal conversation with while she lifts my boobs one by one and sprays the undercarriage. Probably a little bit too much information and nothing that my very exciting guest needs to know about. It's the comedian Babatundi Aleshi. He'll be here in a minute. So I'm now actually just trying to match my foundation to the spray tan.

1:43It is an age old problem. I've got to be honest, I've still got it ringing in my ears. The voice of my young niece once asking, Auntie Grace, why is your face always so orange? She's out the wheel now. Actor and comedian Babatunde Aleshi stole the nation's hearts when he appeared on our screens alongside fellow comedian and friend Mo Gilligan on Celebrity Gogglebox. He charmed us further when he said to disgraced politician Matt Hancock during his time in the jungle that the former Secretary of State of Health and Social Care had been grabbing the bunda on front page news. Babatunde, I salute you.

2:25Someone had to say it. North London, born and bred, Babatunde's route into comedy was stop, start. But as soon as he graced our telly boxes in 2020, his career catapulted. His last tour sold out 34 ,000 tickets across the country. He has been the winner of multiple comedy awards and this makes him a UK comedy staple. Babatunde secured himself a cheeky little BAFTA nom last year and he is heading out on a tour later this year aptly named High Expectations because he's juggling being a comedian, actor, husband and a dad of two. So my question is, what is this Gogglebox star, a man of many talents, eating when he's happily at home on his own sofa in Hertfordshire?

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4:17That's greenlight.com slash protect.

4:25Babatunde Aleshe. I'm sorry, I love the way you say my name. That is... Babatunde Aleshe. And that's all we need to do. Babatunde Aleshe. Welcome to Comfort Eating. Thank you for having me. You are sitting in front of me, a fully fledged comedian and a dad of two. Now I know that you love board games I do When you play with your children Would you ever consider letting them win? Hell no No way Not in a million years I love seeing them crushed Like crushing their dreams Like they're on the verge of crying Just before they cry That moment where they realise All my days my dreams are shattered I love it do you feel like they're learning a valuable lesson about life about life you don't get what you want in life so you gotta work hard i've had to work hard to be this good at board games chess drafts bloody monopoly we all know monopoly is the one that will break up any relationship if i tell you you owe me money because you stepped on bloody mayfair and i've got three hotels i'm i'm absolutely taking everything you have and you don't have no money give me everything How many Christmas days have you ruined?

5:41Like two, honest to God. Yeah. And if I don't win, I'm then tipping the board over.

5:55When I invite a celebrity guest to my house, I ask them to bring me their ultimate comfort food. Now, this is the thing that makes them feel at home. Yes. Babatunde. The time has come. Reveal what is under this slightly stained grubby tea towel Oh I can't wait This is Oh hello This is suya This is suya grill Pork suya We grill it Or you can put it in the air fryer And then you put suya spice You just sprinkle as much as you can take On top of the veg Which is cucumber, pepper, onion, tomato And the pork as well You just douse it in suya seasoning now i have to explain something right so this is a nigerian uh dish this is like our barbecue you know like america they got tennessee barbecue you know jerk chicken in jamaica yeah this is nigeria's one right okay so not traditionally you cook it either chicken or beef or you can do lamb but me and my wife have since discovered that it's very good with pork belly so we do pork belly so Nigerians don't kill me because I know they're going to be like no it's supposed to be beef I know that but we like it with pork belly because it tastes delicious this is the secret ingredient it's like a peanut based spice get involved it's got to be covered I'm going big now this is a thing that is not traditional to Nigeria this is suya mayo and so I would say try it it's like a spiced mayo So it's nice.

7:32It's more rich. Right, let's see how this has come out. All right. It's spicy, so go easy. That's a heat that I can tolerate. And I'm a little white woman from Carlin. I'm not crying. I can do it. No, it's not as hot as I anticipated, but it is nice, though. So? And, like, yeah, so you can have a little bit of suya mayo. Actually, hang on. That heat is building. Oh, yeah? It's building. It's building. It's a slow burner. I'm not going to lie. I've taken it easy today because normally it is covered covered with the suya spice. Just a carpet of that spice. Yeah and that's how you marinate it. You marinate it in the suya but like you literally just douse it in it.

8:15I remember there was a phase where we had it like every day no joke and we had it like we'll just do a platter. We'll just get like one of our big wooden boards. I'll do it on the grill in the barbecue and just chop everything up and then yeah we'll just serve it all the salad the onions just everything and then just put it there and just just go at it so this reminds me of being at home with my mom my sister and just the nigerian flavors man it's just have you had jollof rice before yes every time i mentioned jollof rice it turns into quite a big war as well between like she went big saying that the serious spice wasn't she cannot feel her cheeks why are you talking I'm like, this is all for a fan.

9:00Everything's 100 % groovy. The spice does it all. Every time jollof rice gets mentioned, what I find is that that very quickly turns into an argument. Nigerians do the best jollof rice. You know why? Because we've learned how to smoke ours. So it's almost like barbecued rice. We smoke it, right? So we cook it on, we do cook it on the grill. It's in the pot on the grill. and then you cover it and the smoke gets into it. And ah, just the smoky flavour on Jell-Of rice. No other country does it like us. I love that Jell-Of rice is the one thing that supermarkets don't dare to just try and like, they just don't dare to try and put that in the chiller cabinet and go, here you go.

9:45It's some boiled rice with some garden peas in it. And you're so welcome. Remember when Jamie Oliver did jerk rice the black community lost their mind because it was like what the hell is jerk rice like that's not even a thing right so it would be the same if any supermarket dared to do like uh like just don't just do not do jell-off rice please you named your next tour high expectations yes what exactly did you mean by that so after my last tour right which sold out after that like the expectation for me as a comedian went through the roof after doing like live at the apollo and all this stuff having so much success i just felt a lot of pressure from other comedians and fans and everything to be this huge i don't know not megastar but this this huge kind of like this entity so you've done live at the Apollo you've done these big things and then suddenly you're on that playing field with people that are all about numbers numbers yeah like comedians sit don't they looking at their ticket sales yeah that pressure I didn't like it I was supposed to go on a world tour that's how bad it was they were just oh we should do a world tour and I was just like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa like chill out here like I've only just arrived can I not can I warm up but even though this is my dream and everything I've ever wanted when you get there and you feel the expectation from everybody the pressure it just it can get to you a little bit and so I was just like I just need to kind of like process everything that's gone on because I was literally just working a nine to five like I was working sitting at a desk typing on the computer doing my thing and then next minute life just went crazy and so I love that phrase though can I not just warm up but it's the truth oh my god that just totally speaks into my ear yeah can I not just warm up yeah before everybody's suddenly going hey and then maybe you could just do it right across America and you're like I haven't even got it together to go to Aberystwyth exactly don't make me go to Arizona because it's like I came out of I'm a Celeb and then I remember my manager was just like right we need to go on tour and I was just like whoa whoa whoa can I have some dinner Yeah, you know what I mean?

12:07Like I've literally just landed out of Australia. Can I kind of just process? And it's like, yeah. Okay, you ready?

12:18That's why I called it High Expectation. And yeah, out of all of like my therapy sessions, I was just like, oh, High Expectation would be the best name to call it because I am trying to also push myself and be better. I want to deliver to what the audience want. I want to give them everything in life as a husband, as a father, as a friend, as a comedian, every aspect of my life, I'm trying to be the best version of myself. And so that's the overall theme to the show. I know we're joking about the board games, but if you took the mentality of Monopoly into sitting with your laptop out from 6am every morning, checking Ticketmaster.

13:02You'd go crazy. and remember i'm a dad as well like i'm and i'm a i'm very very involved yeah school runs parents evening going to like my son's games taking him to these kickboxing classes changing my daughter's nappies like involved take her like rhyme time so she can interact with other babies and you know sing songs and all i'm doing all of that so i'll ask about rhyme time i'm sorry i know there's a bigger there's a bigger conversation here rhyme time rhyme time What's going on at Rhyme Time? Rhyme Time, this is where they sing all their nursery rhymes. What kind of songs are we chucking down at Rhyme Time?

13:38It's like Twinkle Twinkle. All of that. All the classics, man. Hop, little bunny, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop. All of these new chits. Hop, little bunny, hop, hop, hop. That sounds a little bit happy. And so, yeah, I'm involved. I'm in those, I'm doing all of that. But then I have to turn on this. Yeah, I have to do that.

14:10you grew up with your mom who is from Nigeria and your sister i want to get a sense of the young Babatunde growing up in Tottenham please give the audience a sense of the full majesty of Tottenham in north london in the 90s Tottenham in the 90s was a terrible place am i allowed to swear you can for as much as you want. It's what we refer to as a shithole. My road was known for being the road where sex workers did their thing. So you would turn onto my road and it was just full of just women and pimps. I didn't know what a pimp was until I got older. I was like, oh, so that's why he was always on our road and shouting at people and all of it.

14:52It was a terrible place, but it was one of those places where it is your normality when you're there. So I had fun. I had great fun. Yeah. But I was a child. So ain't nobody trying to trouble me. When I grew up now, that's when things started to get a bit different. It's just like, well, you're bigger now and now you're going to different areas and people are just threatened by your presence because they don't recognize you. Is there a cutoff point between one life and the other when you're a young kid somewhere like that? Like one minute you're like 9, 10, 11 years old and you're kind of cute and you're sweet and you're a bit protected.

15:30And then it's just a day when suddenly you're bigger and you're viewed of more. Yeah. Yeah. I'd say around like 14, 15, 14. Yeah. Cause I remember we went to, there's an estate in Tottenham called Broadwater Farm. I know it. There you go. And I remember we, we went round there and immediately once we got there, it was, we all met with hostility. who are you and i remember thinking why are you so angry i'm saying what the hell like what's going on in your life like i was thinking i remember they were just like what you got on you like where you from are you part of this crew part of that crew and i was just like what what 14 i just want to play in the park my guy i just want to kick football i'm not trying to stab or do anything like harmful to anyone like and i was like what is your problem like calm down Was that a massive wake-up call though, that moment?

16:30It's a weird thing in Tottenham. It's like you become, everybody knows each other. So it's almost, it's kind of like family, which is weird, but it's because you see people often and it's the culture. So even though, yes, it's dangerous, you just learn how to carry yourself in a way which you don't attract too much attention. You learn that pretty quickly. You learn how to be streetwise, basically. I heard you once say that you ended up Going to church to avoid All of that, is that true? Yeah, I did, yeah, when we moved to Woodgreen I didn't go to church To avoid all of that My life did take a turn I wanted To understand God and Life and This is in Woodgreen, I lived in Woodgreen Did you?

17:16Yeah, I lived in Woodgreen In the 90s Don't lie Yeah, I lived up getting up towards Barnes Green. Well, the church basically there, that was my church. I ended up going there. It was a Pentecostal church. How long did it go on for on a Sunday? Oh, man. Mate, it was a black church, so it doesn't end. I used to see those ladies going in there and they were settling in for the day. That wasn't Church of England when you're in and out with 32 minutes. You still got time for a cup of tea. Black people have to, black people beg God. Like we plead with him, like, you know what I'm saying? Please just bless us.

17:54And it's like the church I go to now is predominantly white and it is over with it. I remember the first time we sat there and they were like, okay, yeah, church is done. Me and my wife looked at each other like, we can go? I was like, are you sure? Like we're just getting warmed up. You know what I'm saying? Like, this is nothing. So it's scheduled, my old church, 11 to one. never finished that one always this like 2.30 3 o 'clock oh we just banged through it like so it's come in sit down hello little thing about God who wants a wafer who wants a communion wafer well then that's it then you all have a nice week that's not black churches black churches we gotta sing first of all we gotta sing to God and it's an album we sing to him we sing a whole album basically they wait until the presence of God is ushered in.

18:50So it's almost like God's on the sideline, just like, no, keep sing that song and then I'm going to come in. All right. Yeah. That's, that's why I'm going to come in. I'm going to bless people. And then at the end, the spirit takes all the elders and then we don't get released until the spirits just like, okay, I've held you hostage enough. I'm going to let you go. I remember I used to sit at the back of church going, come on, man. Forgive me, Pastor Ricketts. If Pastor Ricketts got hold of the mic, you're not going home. You're not going home. He's going to go mad. We're recording this on a Monday.

19:22Do you think Pastor Ricketts is still at it right now? A hundred percent. Pastor Ricketts. And he's so old. Like he's probably like 90 now. But once the spirit takes hold of him, that's it. He's doing backflips. And like. Was there any food afterwards? Because yeah. Church of England, weak coffee and maybe some lemon drizzle cake. Oh God. No. What are you getting at the. Okay, so at my old church, Jamaican patties. You're getting patties because it's predominantly Jamaican church. So patties, some cake, maybe some rice and salad and some oxtail. Yeah, man. Serious. I'm not going to lie. They fed us good.

19:56But they had to. Three hours, like three and a half hours, you've got to feed us. You know what I mean? I'm going to take you back to Tottenham at that point. Is your mum and your sister living in a house? Is your dad around at that point? My dad died when I was 10, but he left when I was four. So from four to like, yeah, from four to 10, I didn't see him. But then he died in Nigeria. So it was just me, my mum, my sister, my older sister, two years older than me. You've said in the past, your mum lives up to the Nigerian matriarchal stereotype. Please, could you fill us in? What is that stereotype?

20:36so in nigeria the women rule the house with an iron iron fist like they the women rule they set the tone of the house they set the culture they do everything they cook they clean they're your mom they're your dad they're your counselor they're your doctor they're your they're everything when i was younger younger at my mom's church nigerian church it was the women that were in control would you say it's like is it fierce and has it ever got an element of like squishy soft no no no yeah you didn't mess with the aunties man you did not mess with it on like you didn't mess with the uncles because you knew that let one of them go crazy it's over for everybody but the men rarely got involved the women were they're very active and very just i can't explain it that but they rule.

21:28Do you think the Nigerian aunties have now got like WhatsApp groups and they're like, a hundred percent. Oh my God. You know what it is? It's them sending you videos saying, just be careful because I just saw on the internet, someone dipped their hand in water and now they're a frog. So you just need to just calm down. And it's just like, mom, this is not real. This is AI. But they'll be like, no, I saw it. I saw it on the internet. So you better be careful. And it's just like, oh my days. Like they always send you videos of just what to be wary of. things that, you know, they're doing out there in the world.

22:00So that's the auntie's WhatsApp. You know, this is how bad it is with my mum. I'm almost 40 years old. If my mum comes to my house and I'm like, oh, let me just quickly go to the shop. Oh, but it's 5.30, it's too late. It's like, mum, are you joking? I'm a grown-ass man. Plus, it's not late. Look, it's light outside. And she's like, no, please don't go. Just order it. Do delivery route. Put your living heart for sure. Exactly. What's going to happen? You know what she said to me? You're going to Londis. What was I going to? I was going to the NTAs. I was going to the NTAs. That's the National Television Award.

22:38Yep. I remember it was probably like a week before going. So I said, oh, I need to go get a suit. So my mum came over to basically babysit. And I was just like, right, my wife's out. I need to quickly go West End and get a suit for the NTAs. She was just like, it's dangerous. I'm like, mum, I can die at home. Do you realise that? I can slip and bust my head and that's it. I'm gone. What did you do for work? Am I right in thinking that she was a dinner lady? Yes, she was. Yeah. Orphan forest. Come on. So then you must get those leftovers that come home. Some kind of delicious things getting thrown down.

23:12Yeah, not all the time. So what's normally in that white, I'm going to say it's a white, a white polystyrene box. The white polystyrene box opens. What's in it? Do you remember cheese flan? Yeah, cheese flan. For anyone that doesn't understand school dinner's cheese flan, what we're thinking of here is a very, very low quality quiche. Yeah. But the quiche innards are made of just egg and cheese and a bit of onion, but the onion isn't cooked. No. I'm just drilling down here. I think that if it's sat for a while, I think that the inside of it start to come away from the pastry. 100 % But I'm not a fan of cheese So I didn't care for it Whereas my sister Absolutely loved it In school What they used to do Is the teachers Because they knew I Hated Cheese With like All my heart They would cook like Spag bol for me And I'd just have that So you basically Ordered off menu Basically On the days that There was no spag bol On the menu I got spag bol Because I cried when cheese Would be on the menu Can't work I always say that cheese is the strangest thing that European people eat.

24:27Yes! It stinks! It's the strangest thing. It stinks! If we weren't used to eating it, it's so far out of our normal remit of what we would eat. How could you eat something that stinks? I ordered wings. I ordered wings. And I thought the dip was garlic. So I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah. I've gone like that. I've covered the thing. You've got all in. I'm like, garlic? Wow! wow i've tasted it and i went yeah i was like what the hell i was like yo your garlic sauce is off they're like oh no that's blue cheese i said that is the vilest thing i have ever tasted in my life it's like feet it is disgusting and then i was in france once yeah uh they've got a supermarket i think it's monoprix i think that's monoprix there you go i'm in there i'm like who the hell has let one rip i'm like yo it sticks in here i turn around it's a whole row of cheeses how can people eat this?

25:22This is disgusting. Isn't it bacteria? It's French, man. It's bacteria. It's disgusting! My sister does the cheese board thingy-mijigy-mijigies. And her and my wife they eat it. And I just look at them in disgust like, ugh. And then my wife is like, oh, come, get the hell out of my face. Like, ugh. You best gargle bloody holy water before you come kiss me. I ain't kissing. Cheese is the devil's foot cheese. It's disgusting. You've upset Nigeria. You've upset all of the women of Nigeria and now the dairy industry.

26:05You're a comedian now going back to school. Were you funny in class? 100%. I disturbed class. I apologize now to every single teacher in secondary school. You were that guy. I made their job hell. but but they laughed as well so once they laughed i was like ha i've got you and that's all i lived for i lived for that moment where i saw like the smirk or smile on their face or even one of them just laughed and i was just like my job here is done there's nothing you can teach me now i made you laugh yeah it was a mic drop moment like done and my job my work is done

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27:55Somebody obviously recognised your humour because then you end up at a very prestigious drama school. Yeah. Drama school. Let me tell you something. And I love everybody that was in my class. I mean, look, that's the caveat. But please tell me some truth about drama school. It was not amazing. I hated every single day. every single day of it. I was in class with Kit Harington, who was dope, by the way. Very good guy. Love him. Love him to death. But everybody as a collective together, it was a nightmare. The competition of it. Plus I was from a different culture, like a different cultural background.

28:30You must understand I'm coming from a very working class, living on an estate type of, where, you know, in my area, I think I've seen stuff half of the people in my class has never seen. Your big break was when you were 17 and it involved a Teletubby actor, Dipsy. Yes. Are you going to reveal now that you were actually inside Dipsy? No. I wish not. Because Dipsy was, in fact, the black Teletubby. Like, yeah, like when you looked at his face, he had the darkest skin tones. So black people were just like, yeah, man, we're getting representation. Dipsy's black. He's one of us. So we were gassed. And then I found out that a comedian by the name of John Simmett is uh oh yeah was uh dipsy the teletubbie and he gave me my first show my first ever stand-up show was uh by dipsy but then after drama school you have to start auditioning yeah acting jobs my first job like the day after i was supposed to go to graduation which i didn't go to i filmed uh law and order uk with bradley walsh and i remember he was just messing about on set and I thought it was the funniest thing.

29:43And he kicked the football and it hit the director's head and I was busting up. He was hilarious on set. But once it got to the acting, he was just in character. It was dope. So, yeah. Now, early successes include small parts in Doctor Who and EastEnders. You were acting in scenes alongside Matt Smith and James Corden. Did you feel like you'd made it? No, I didn't. I didn't know. I was just playing a, just, you know, it was just like a cameo role. I didn't really feel like, okay, it wasn't about me. Even with Doctor Who, the only thing is I, because I knew Doctor Who was a massive show, but I learned that day just how big it was because the park that we were filming in, it was just surrounded paparazzi fans.

30:34And I was just like, bloody hell, like people really love this show, don't they? And I was just like, duh, yes, they do. acting with James Corden as well that was cool to meet him Matt Smith was dope and it was fun that was a fun day because we were all playing football so we had fun man yeah food good yeah the food was dope all my days for breakfast they gave me a full English just everything that's it even black pudding which when I learned I was like what is this don't ask I was just like what is that don't ask and they were like yeah pig's blood I was just like yeah I was like you people eat pig's blood I was like what the flippant congealed Yeah, I was like, what's wrong with white people?