Adam Scott

26:15I love people that just get stuck on something like that. And I'm trying to get you stuck on it, but it didn't work out. Well, I am now, I'm obsessed. Al Pacino too. Did he say something about that? You guys had Al Pacino on it. Yes, and he sat right where he was sitting and he's one of my all time. That was a great interview. And talk about, you can't believe, I couldn't believe that I'm in, you know. I mean, I bumped into him a couple of times. He had always been very sweet to me, knew who I was, would like, call me, called me over to his table once in a row. I mean, just, I couldn't, I couldn't believe that this guy, there's, of all the space in his brain, there's one cell that knows about me.

26:54I couldn't believe it because I'm such a massive fan, but he was sitting here And yeah, he was very in touch with no bitterness at all, but very much in touch with the fact that, you know, Coppola and the studio really didn't want him. I mean, Coppola wanted him to have the role in The Godfather, but studio didn't want him. And then for maybe half the shoot of the movie, they don't like, the studio doesn't like him. And Coppola is like, yeah, no, he's not bringing it. He's not bringing it. And tells him that. And he remembered being called over to Coppola's table at a restaurant and Coppola didn't even stand up.

27:36Yeah, he didn't ask him to sit down. Didn't ask him to sit down. And so he was very much in touch with that and still is. And I remembered him saying to me like, you know, Conan, they didn't want me. They didn't want me. And I'm like, yes. But then you did get it and you became the face of the set. Michael Corleone. Yes. For not one, but two of the greatest films ever made. And then you go on to do all this other iconic work. And it's like, I know, but they didn't want me. And it's just incredible. Al Pacino. Al Pacino is sweating stuff out. I listened to his book that he was promoting here. And just him talking about like scenes in The Godfather and how he finally convinced them he was right for the role from doing the scene where he shoots the two guys in the restaurant.

28:21But just thinking about at one point, there were people just like working on that scene and trying to figure out like how to do. It's just so weird to think that there was a time before that scene existed and that that scene is because of some decisions that people kind of guessed at and were just figuring it out. Also, I love, and this has happened before too, I love the concept that there are crew people going, who the fuck is this guy? And when they were shooting the opening of The Godfather and it takes place at the big wedding at Marlon Brando's estate and everyone's dancing and having fun and they cut over to Michael and Kay.

29:02He's really underplaying it. He's just out of the army and he's explaining who people are. He's like, oh, that's Luca Brazzi. He works for my father. and then he takes care of us. So what does your father do, Michael? But apparently those dailies came back and the people at, I guess it was Paramount maybe, were like, who is this droopy noodle of a guy in a big army hat? He's terrible. Like zero charisma. Zero charisma. And he's not being, and the crew. The crew is like, what's with this guy? And apparently the other time that happened, you're a graduate. Yeah. So Dustin Hoffman is, you know, in the book, The Graduate, The Graduate is blonde haired, blue eyed.

29:48And so they wanted like Robert Redford. That was who it was supposed to be. And the big brave decision was, no, it's going to be this little known actor, theater actor, Dustin Hoffman, who's not a blonde haired, blue eyed kid. And the crew and everyone is like, what the fuck? This guy's mumbling. It's the same crew. What about you? No, no, I know. Hey, trust me. Hey, trust me. They didn't believe in what they were working on. This is the crew I had at late night in 93, 94, 95. Right. Because we inherited Dave's crew. And I swear to God, people were like, I don't blame them, but they were like, you know, they had just had David Letterman.

30:26Wait, you had Dave's crew? I had a third, yeah, his corp. I had his camera, some of his camera, because they stayed behind. Dave went to CBS and took some people, but there was a corp, and I don't blame them. There was like cable pullers and stuff. And David Letterman, after 11 years of, you know, reinventing the format and dominating, has now gone on to greater heights. And they're like, they got this new kid. Here he comes. And I come in. And I'm like, hi, everybody. My name's Conan. I know. Anyway, I like improv. We're going to try some weird stuff. I don't know. I think it's going to be okay.

31:08Hey, does anybody, what dries up acne? Does anybody know? Like I still had acne break out occasionally. And I'd be like, does anyone, because I use this stuff, is there something better? And these are, and - Why are you asking the crew about your acne? I don't know. And these guys - It's out to everyone asking if anyone has any recommendations. I open the shows with it often. Hi, if anyone's out there watching, it just keeps, I think it's, it might be cystic. I don't know. It comes back. But that was the thing that blew my mind was the, that, and I didn't blame them, but there were just, I mean, there were guys on my crew that had worked on Sullivan when the Beatles played there.

31:48Wow. And I would ask them like, what was that like? And they were guys from Long Island. Yeah. And they'd say stuff like, I don't know. I was mad cause I was, it's a Sunday night. I'm not supposed to work Sunday night. And I'm on the end. And then they call me cause Steve got, I got to come in. And I saw him up in there. But it was the Beatles. It was the Beatles. And I'm like, that was a lot of, I don't know, that fucking hair. I don't know. And then I'm on the way home and the carburetor blows out. So fuck that shit, you know, and I don't get paid over time. And you're like, that's their memory.

32:21Yeah. You're like, great. This was a really special talk that we just had. Thank you very much. Historic. On the subject of music, I know that you have done many podcasts, music-centric podcasts. you have your obsessions. R.E.M. Yeah. You love R.E.M. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm, you know, that generation that kind of grew up with that music. Like they got huge around 87, like with their first big hit. And I was like 14. So it was kind of perfect timing. My college girlfriend, when I was, I think, a senior, she was so cool. She knew about music. Yeah. She knew bands before they broke. Yeah. But I remembered her being very cool and saying, yeah, R.E.M.

33:04I'm like, R.E.M.? What is that? Right. That sounds, I don't, is that a, that's a band? Right. And kind of thinking, great, you like your niche little band that's not going anywhere. Why did she break up with you? I know. You seemed really cool. I have no idea about anything you're talking about. What am I interested in? I think I said to her, nothing you say is of value to me. And then she walks out on me. What's that all about? It's so weird that that didn't work. Women. No, there was something mysterious about their name and the way they looked and the music videos they weren't in. It was just all cool, you know, back then.

33:46Yeah, yeah. And to this day, a lot of great music. Yeah. So what are your bands? Your bands are R.E.M., U2. Yeah, those were like my Beatles and Stones. Kind of for, I don't know. for my age group or generation or whatever those were the two big here that you're 77 years 77 years old um yeah those were the two big ones and they were very now looking back it's like well of course they were both very mainstream like arena rock bands um and i think that's part of what i liked about it too just sort of the grandness of it what are you what are you watching when you're a kid what are the shows that mean something to you on tv letterman yeah it was a huge one yep um We didn't have, I grew up in Santa Cruz, California, which is a little hip, kind of hippie beach town.

34:35And so we didn't have a TV in our house. I lived with my mom for a majority of the time and then went back and forth. But while I was living there, my dad got me this little five inch black and white TV that I just kept in my room and I was just glued to it. you know, without cable television, you have three stations. So I would just watch whatever was on from 7 p.m. or whenever till they went off the air at, what was it, 1.30 or two or whatever. Anyway, Letterman, you know, and Different Strokes and whatever network comedies were on. Hour-long dramas always felt like too grown up and boring until I got older.

35:17And now you go back and look at hour-long dramas when, you know, we were coming of age, and they're just like pornography bad, you know? Like, not only are they just weirdly bad, but they show there's so much shoe leather just because they're trying to fill up the 42 minutes. Oh, I'm obsessed with, I've had huge fights. I had a huge fight with Bill Burr, who loves chips, and I went after Bill and said, Chips is a piece of shit. And he's like, what are you talking about? He's getting crazy on me about how much he loves Chips and how much it meant to him. But if you watch those shows now, the editing, they'll, I don't know if everyone's on Coke that's making them, but the shots are lazy.

36:03So the whole point of the show is there's gonna be this big meeting. Right. You know, and so a guy's gonna pull up in his car and go talk to someone who's in another car The car will pull up in some big parking lot 30 feet away. The guy will get out and shut the door and walk 30 feet to the other guy. Totally. No cutting. No. No editing because they're like, yeah, we can kill some time walking from that giant, bad, late 70s American car to this one. That's right. That's right. Like people have no idea how lucky they are with Breaking Bad and the surprise, you know, whatever, you know, modern television.

36:39Right. We did those credit sequence things, the greatest event. So we had to go and watch like Simon and Simon episodes to find these certain scenes to get context on some of them. And like Bill Burr, like my memories of Simon and Simon are one thing. Like it meant so much to me as a kid. But then kind of diving in and really watching, it's just a whole different thing. Like I would challenge Bill Burr to binge chips right now. Like really see if he can hang in there. Well, I'm sure I'll be getting a call from him very soon. I just saw him the other day. We had a lovely meal, and now he's going to feel like I betrayed him.

37:17But I think we are in TV's golden age. I keep saying that clearly the whole business changed, but what you're describing, and now we sound like the two old men on the Muppet Show in the balcony, but you watched what was on. Right. And you had an awareness sometimes, this doesn't seem that good. Right. But it was all there was. Yeah. There's three networks. And also there's what comes in, meaning what will my reception capture? Yes. Because sometimes there's a good show and you'd go to turn it on and there was the antenna. I keep moving the antenna around. Yeah, that's right. And so just this, I don't know.

37:54And it was inconsistent. Some nights CBS would come in great and some nights it was just garbage. Right. And so now there's the other problem of I have 7 ,000 options. And yes, there are some very obvious choices I can make. When I know there's a really good documentary out or hey, Severance is back. I know what I'm doing. It's appointment television. But then there's so much where people have told me, you've got to watch Gub Gub Nation. And I'm like, what is it? I love Gub Gub Nation. You're surrounded by people that love Gub Gub Nation. And I'm just trying to sell Gub Nation. We're Gub Gubbers.

38:31Yeah, we're just from way back. Gubheads, what's up everybody? Season one Gubheads. Oh, fuck. Oh my God. And I'll say, what is it? And they'll be like, oh, it takes place at an advertising agency. It's British, but you're going to really, and then I'll watch like two episodes. Oh, you got to hang in for seven. Seven, get to seven. No, you have to. Get to seven, because that's when the Gub Gubbers show up. And those Gub Gubbers walk in. Lights out. Yeah, and we could like, because now kids, it's all dependent on, they can watch whatever they want. So it's just depends on their taste, what they're going to watch.

39:07Back then, like you said, we just watched whatever was on and that's how we came up with our taste was by watching everything. So it's just a completely, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Nevermind, nevermind, nevermind. I remember my writing partner when I came out to LA for the first time, Greg Daniels, of course, the great Greg Daniels. He and I came out here and we're both 22 years old. And there wasn't that much television. There was just, as I said, a couple of networks and a couple of big sitcoms and some dramas. And so you'd seen everything. There was no such thing as a show that you had never heard of because there aren't that many shows.

39:48So I remember once Greg and I are working late and I think we were over at Sunset Gower Studios, which isn't too far from where we are now. And we're these like wide-eyed 22-year-old guys right out of college and we're working on this show called Not Necessarily the News. But then we're also wandering around because we're like, wow, this is where they make television. And we wandered on to, oh my God, this is the set where they make Benson. Whoa. And Benson with Robert Guillaume. They were still making it? I think they were still making it. And this would be 1985. Yeah, yeah. I'm seeing an actual, this is the governor's mansion where Benson lives.

40:25What? That's it. And it's all the lights are kind of down. There's a couple of lights on, but there's like cloth over things. They put the things over, the sheets over the furniture. And we're wandering in and Greg and I, I mean, it's so funny now, Greg has made so much iconic TV, but I remember very clearly him being like, wow. And I'm like, yeah. And then we walk in and we get up close and we look and we're looking at the actual like vase and table. And it's supposed to be a rich like governor's mansion. and it looks like shit. It's like, because - Fake. It's all fake and it's all slapped on kind of fake gold paint.

41:04And the vase looks like it costs$2. And I remember having this revelation of, it's all a lie, man. Totally. Benson's mansion sucks. Yeah. What is this? You know, and then having that realization over and over and over again, whenever I was on a set and sitting down and like, this is the chair? Right. Where the girls on Facts of Life sit? Wow, how much time did you get to spend on the Facts of Life set? I know, I know. I used to go over there a lot, hang out in the chair. That sounds so creepy. The chair. Yeah, did you know where the chair is from Where the ladies sit? All of them at the same time?

41:44There's that one scene. No, I don't. Which one does Mrs. Garrett sit in? Yeah. Point me in the general direction. No, but I mean, it's just so, such a revelation when you got to see. Yeah. And it would be, I mean, it's never really changed, you know, when you're on a set. Oh, yeah. The first time that I saw Letterman's show, which so weirdly, but I was in college and I went to New York and saw a live taping of Late Night with David Letterman. That's wild. Having no idea that I would take over that show. That's wild. And in that studio and that some of those crew members would be my crew members.

42:22And I'm, so I remembered sitting, being led in by NBC pages and sitting down and thinking, what's going on? This is really small. because on television, the perspective is widened and things look big. And realizing, wait a minute, what the fuck? Like where Dave is standing doing his monologue, he can reach over and touch, you know, Paul Schaefer. He could touch him. Whereas on TV, the way they shoot it, it doesn't look that way at all. And Studio 6A is notoriously, it's a small, it was built for radio. It wasn't built for television. And that's the magic of it is that it's small. Yeah. So comedy rockets around the room and bounces off the walls.

43:05And it felt like there was something, it felt exclusive and small. It felt like the audience, they didn't sweeten the audience either, which I don't know if late night shows do that at all, but they - I wish we did. We never thought of that. By the way, I have a story relating to that. Wishing your audience was sweetened with a terrible, terrible bit I brought on your show. but as far as the Letterman show goes, there was something just as a fan that felt really, it felt like a clubhouse or something. Yes. Like it was an excuse. So did they find you in the audience? Did they go back ever and find you on that episode?

43:42I was sitting pretty far back and I would have to, I know one of the - Because that's incredible. I got to find that episode actually. Who was the guest? Do you remember? I, it's a blur. I have a memory of one bit and I'm going to really have to think about it but a door slides open and a boxer comes out of the wall. But I bet I could figure out what the episode is. I don't think there's a shot of me in the audience. I was sitting pretty far back with my friend, Maya Williams. And afterwards, Maya knew one of the writers on the show, Steve O'Donnell. Oh, yeah, Steve. And Steve brought us up to the offices.

44:20Whoa. And we're sitting in Steve O'Donnell's tiny office. And I'm sitting there with Maya talking to Steve and Meryl Marco walks by and a guy in a leather jacket walks by with her carrying a box and it's Dave Letterman. Wow. He kind of just nods at us and keeps moving. And I, it was, well, there's no, if I was a kid, I'd say it was like the president of the United States walked by, but that no longer works. Right. That was the president. Now, I'm sorry, I don't care who's president now in this world. It would be like, oh, it's a president. It's been so demystified. but I'll never forget I remember the jacket he was wearing I remembered and I remember thinking wow he gets to have this this show and then the idea that what is that that's probably 1983 the idea that 10 years later I'm hosting that show to this day makes no sense to me and I think was a mistake I really do in my heart think it was a no way fucking blunder no I mean I'm taking it all in.

45:24Whatever. I'm saying it's a beautiful thing, but it doesn't make any sense.

45:33It's funny. I don't know that I have. I don't know that I have because I don't know. I mean, not that Dave and I talk that much only because we don't cross paths much. When we do, I treasure those moments. But from his perspective, it's a story of, I saw you once and you were wearing a leather jacket in a hallway. Yeah. and I had acne. Right. And I asked you, do you have anything that can clear yourself? Do you have anything? And will your crew hate me as much as I think they will? Andrew, do you want to spend your moments with Dave recalling that particular thing? I think I will next time. Yeah, you should.

46:09I bet he would get a kick out of it. He might. I don't know. Or he might have me taken away by his retinue of goons. What was the story when you were on the bit? Oh, yeah. You didn't tell us. You did a bit. What happened? Okay. So it was, this is, ended up being. I know. Go ahead. Go ahead. It ended up being one of the most deeply embarrassing moments I've had. And it's also confounding to me from beginning to end why I did this. I just had this confidence in this bit and didn't really slow down to think about it before I, okay. I was promoting Big Little Lies, Right. The second season of Big Little Lies.

46:52And so the bit that I came up with, it's also interesting because it's so bad from so many different angles and there's nothing about it that works. Nothing. You know what I love? You so don't want to tell us what it is. I know. You keep qualifying. I know. And another thing you should know is that the Roman Empire did not have movable tights. When I tell you the basic premise, you're going to be like, why would you do that? Okay. So Big Little Lies, the way I saw it going is like us talking and you being like, wow, Big Little Lies, the cast is amazing. It's like, yeah, no, it's, yeah, it's all like legendary actresses.

47:33It's like the traveling Wilburys of legendary actresses. So what I had done is I thought that that saying the traveling Wilburys of actresses and equating Big Little Eyes with the traveling Wilburys would be this like comedy explosion. It is funny. That would. Well. But then and then you start to go through like, for example. Yeah. Reese is like. Go ahead. I had mocked up the album cover. Oh, wow. With, instead of the traveling Wilburys, the actress's faces on their bodies. Yep. And also had gone through for each traveling Wilbury and switched them out for like Reese's Bob Dylan, Shailene, you know, Nicole Kidman is George Harrison, whatever.

48:27I don't remember what it was. And you had reasons why. I had reasons why, but first of all, nobody under 50 knows who the fuck the traveling Wilburys are. This was immediately apparent. When I said the first line, it's like the traveling Wilburys. It was silent. No, you could hear the air condenser. Literally. Yeah. But also I came to learn that those over 50 who do remember the traveling Wilburys don't give a fuck. about... I may be your one demographic. Okay. Why weren't you there? I was at a Traveling Wilbur's concert. So I say it, silence, show the record cover, silence. Right. And then I start going through each member of the band.

49:20Yep, you sure did. The crazy thing is, is I was so sure that this was gonna, it could create a tidal wave of comedy that you and I would just be able to surf through each member of the band that I never came up with actual jokes for each one. Right. I just had these little like, oh, she was in Days of Thunder. So she's Bob Dylan thinking it would just be so like crackly. And you and Andy would be like, oh, it would take on this life of its own. And it's like nuclear fission or fusion. it's just gonna, molecules are gonna be bouncing off each other and the rest will take care of itself. That's right.

49:59And we'll be fine. But like you in the Letterman Theater, here we are 10 years later and look at the gold it's giving us. No, no, and this is the perfect place to discuss this because it's anatomy of a, you are not alone. I've had many prominent people come up to me over the years and say, I just wanna say I'm sorry. And I'll say what? And they'll say, oh, in 1998, I came on and I tried this thing and I bombed so hard and I don't remember. Right. Yours, I remember. I woke up this morning, I wake up every morning thinking about it and my wife is like, what happened? Is it the Wilburys? Is it the Amscott?

50:40Wilburys bed? And I'm like, it is, it is. And she's like, you're not there anymore. It's over. It's over. You're safe. You're with me. And we get a cold cloth and we, but, it was so long. And so, But what I remember about that moment is you, a lot of other people would have bailed. And you clearly were like, no, I made my bed and I'm seeing this through to the end. And I think at the end you say something like, and that is why. People can look it up now, which is the beauty, but no, no. Because after the show, I remember talking to Andy backstage and being like, how could I have thought that was something?

51:19That was not. And we begged you guys not to air it. And I think the reaction was like, oh, please, can we? Oh, no. Of course we're not going to air that. So I don't think it airs. It exists somewhere and I've got to find it. Did you help him out at all? Or were you just sitting there just watching? I think I tried. You've tried. I do have the reputation of trying to help. I know, that's why I'm asking. But at a certain point, I saw nine sharks chomping away at Adam Scott and blood just and gore filling the water. And I decided to get back on the boat. That sounds like you. I removed my foot from the water and got into the boat.

52:05And then because I saw like he's lost too much. It's over. You know, I had no legs. Like, what are you going to do? I can't swim with you to the boat. At the end of the episode, we did cut it out. But at the end of the episode, you went from telling a good story to just being a head. That's right. Just floating. Where are you going? A head sitting on a chair. I still haven't done Roy Orbison.

52:30We never did get to Roy Orbison. Yeah. Well, you know why it's funny now? Because it's funny now because you're you're just you could not things could not be going better for you. and you're in this show where you get to, in every way, show the power you have and the range you have and yes, they could have found someone else to do it and I think I could have done it. That much is clear. I think that's, if you take one thing from this episode is I know how to have my face change a little bit in an elevator. I've done it before. And they wouldn't need special effects. I can just do it. Right. And that saves$600.

53:16We don't use special effects, but fine. Yes, no, you can do it. Oh, I know you guys do something. No, I just, I couldn't be happier for you because you're just a great guy and you deserve all this. Well, it means so much, so thank you very much. You have incredible taste, obviously. Well, no, clearly look around you. Yeah, look. I mean, look at these people. Gorgeous and hilarious. Aw. I know you're a busy guy and thank you so much for being here. Thank you. Let's break bread someday soon and we'll get, you know what I want? I want to get Bill Burr involved. Yes. You and I both go at him about chips.

53:57Yes. Okay. I promise you he hasn't seen it since 1987. There's no way. He's just saying he loves chips. All right. Take care. All right. Thanks, everyone.

54:18Do you guys remember back in the early days of this podcast, we did a few drawing contests? I do. The ones where I won. What? I won. Did you win both? We did at least two. No, I really lost both of them. Did you? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did. Okay. Well, I went back and I found, you guys might remember this from your childhoods. I think especially you will. Do you remember these advertisements for drawing contests? Yes. Yes. They were on the back of, I think they were on the back of matchbooks. Yeah, and comic books. And they were also, I think, TV commercials. And basically you would draw one of these, send it in, and they would assess if you had any talent and then you could take their trade school.

54:55It was all a scam, basically. Was it a scam? I think it was. I think it was like the Barbizon modeling schools. You know, like they'll take anybody just to get the money out of them. There used to be these ads, speaking of scams on the back of comic books, that would say things akin to, if you clip this out and you include$1.50, will send you a hovercraft to your home. Definitely. Or there was one that was a submarine. Yeah. A working submarine. So send us$1.50. And I always was curious, do you get something in the mail? That's a good question. And what is it? And how could it be anything close to a submarine?

55:28I mean, I would love someone out there to find out what did you actually get in the late 60s and early 70s if you cut out the coupon that said you get a submarine. Wasn't it a kit though? I thought it was like they send you a fan with a motor and then you have to build like an inner tube around it or something. Maybe, but still, I remember the price being absurdly low. Yeah. And the drawing was very deceptive. It showed like basically a German U-boat prowling the North Atlantic. So I would love to know what did you get? I'm sure it would be very disappointing. But the fact that you got anything that might approximate the foundation of a submarine for$1.50.

56:08Our guys are on it. Let's do this drawing contest, and maybe by the end we'll have an answer. All right, what's the plan here? Okay, so you get to choose one, and I'm going to give you guys five minutes in real time. It'll be edited down by the time we listen. Do we each choose a different character? I guess you should choose separately. There's Tippy, who looks to be a tortoise in a turtleneck—well, that makes sense. Turtleneck sweater. Oh, that's cute. It's just a neck sweater to him. Exactly. He just calls it, this is my sweater. Yeah. This is my me sweater. My me neck. as opposed to a V-neck.

56:40And then there's a pirate, clearly. No idea why pirates always have an eye patch. That'll get worked out later on. I can tell you. Oh, yeah? What's that? They always say it's because they lost an eye, but it's because they'd be below deck, and they have to, when they're above deck in the sun and they have to go below deck, they don't need time to adjust their sight, so they open their eye patch and they can see it. Very nice. That's good to know. And then there's Tiny, who is either, now this is a little confusing, could be a little kitten. I think it's a mouse. It's a mouse. You're right, it's a mouse because of the ears.

57:11And he's wearing a party hat. Yeah. They have both eyes. What? What? The pirates have both eyes and they're both functioning. Yeah. That is crazy. Yeah, they wear the eye patch so that they can... Why are you saying this like you knew it this whole time? And also, I don't even know if that's true. I'm telling you, I heard it from a guy. I heard it from a guy and not too long ago. Okay. All right. Somebody pick a number between 1 and 10 Conan Oh my god Why does everything have to be complicated? 5 Sona 6 The number was 4 So Conan you get to pick first Okay well I guess there's no getting around it I'm gonna be the pirate Okay Sona what would you like?

57:51I'll do Tippy the turtle Okay Alright Mine's gonna be awful Let's get to it Okay alright let's do it 1, 2, 3, go 5 minutes We'll make it 3 minutes You have 3 minutes Okay Oh my god. That's an abomination. Shut your stupid mouth! You can tell you're concentrating because your lips are moving. One minute has lapsed. You have two minutes left. And you're actually done. So I don't know if I got the time right on this. It's so bad. You're not giving us a lot of time for this. Well, that's the point. It's the pressure. How much time do I have left? You got plenty of time. Good, because I need more time.

58:36We're going to knock a minute off. You've got 30 seconds. No, no, don't do that. Don't do that. I'm almost done. That's not it. I want it to be somewhat. Oh, yeah. This has got to be above board. No, I want it to be somewhat decent. I take some pride in my drawing. I don't. I'm okay with it being done now. But keep in mind, it's not just technical ability. It's that certain aspect of life. The je ne sais quoi. It's the je ne sais quoi. Sona, you could take it on just having more life. You know, Jackson Pollock, he did his paintings. It was about the experience, not the result. Yeah, he died in a drunk driving crash.

59:10Look at Tippi's head. It's real flat. Matt, why are you driving? I just didn't. I assumed it was down to them. All right, I'll get in there. No, no, no. Well, it's too late. Yeah, we're not waiting for that shit. These aren't the pens I like using. It's Ben's fault, huh? I'll sign mine. I'm obsessed. She's done. Why is everything a she? Just give me the money. Giving you a jacket. You don't deserve any more than that. I can't believe that jacket went up. I can't believe the fire didn't recoil when I saw the fire. The fire would recoil. Nah. Let's get out of here, guys. That thing's ugly. Three, two, hold it.

59:48One. Ugh. All right. What do we do? We show our... Yeah, put them in the center here. And then Adam, Eduardo, Blay, get to... I think you guys should give some points for speed because I did mine really fast. Well, I'll just say I did mine in like a quarter of the time of anybody else. If we're doing speed. You go and you illustrate with your mom. Mine's also the biggest. Now, is this American Idol style where we each go through and say what we thought of each one? Yeah, but make it brief because we don't have a lot of time. Make it brief. Okay, great. Adam, do you want to start? I think the pirate is fantastic, actually.

1:00:27It's really accurate. Nose is maybe a bit off, but otherwise it's really pretty good. I like to improve people as I go. Pirate looks like Randy Macho Man Savage. He does! That's who I was drawing. A little small for my liking. Ratio to the page here, but otherwise very well. I like that. You're a firm judge. I think this is fantastic. I think the earring is a little too prominent here, but otherwise great. It evokes the same emotion I feel when I look at the original drawing of the pirate. Isn't that what art's all about? The turtle, Sona, that's you. I actually love the scale. Things went awry with the eye area.

1:01:16But I actually like it. It's more interpretive, which I like. You're not just trying to do a perfect facsimile. It's a nice interpretation and I I like it. I think it's fun. Yeah, I think my true, I'm like a forger. I'm trying to pass this off, you know, as a forgery. I really like this one here. I feel like I want to color it in. Okay. So I really appreciate, yeah. I would be proud to put this on a refrigerator, you know? So, yeah, it's going your way. I know. I agree. Simple, clean lines, excellent execution. I think it's fantastic. Also, I don't know, was the pirate signed? Was there a signature on that one?

1:01:54No. That's signature. Although signature here. So the artist clearly stands behind their work. Shows pride. Yeah. The artist stands behind their work. Well, also I was copying something else. I didn't want to get the reputation of someone who steals. So I didn't want to do it. The original artist, whoever they are, it's really their work. And I give it up for them. This is Mippy, my turtle. He's different than Tippy. I think you've got Tipsy, the turtle. All right. And then the mouse. I would say, Matt, you get credit because you were handicapped with time. You rushed it. And considering the rush, it's really, really nice.

1:02:29It looks a little stretched, I would say. Like, it's kind of like horizontally stretched. Yeah, it looks like it was put on a projector at a different angle. Yeah. It's true. It's just this tiny has a really large brain. Right. Yeah. But really, really good, especially considering how quickly you did it. I mean, I don't know. They're all very different. I don't know how you choose a winner. Who's the winner? He's already angling for defeat. No, no, no, not. I mean, I know who the winner should be. I'm just impressed with how quickly you did this. Thank you. This was like 60 seconds worth of tries.

1:03:03Just a mouse with a hat. Yeah, I like it. Let's not get crazy. Can you believe he rendered a mouse with a hat in 60 seconds? Honestly. Now we're in the annals of man. Less time. Wait a minute. Effortless lines has its own kind of spin on it. So he gets points for forgetting to do the assignments. I didn't think I was going to do it. I was just giving it to you guys. I don't think that should factor in. If I enter a marathon late, you know what I mean, and manage to get a mile in, I don't think you guys would be, whoa! But he finished! He showed up late in a cab! He finished! But I will say it does look a little squashed.

1:03:38But yeah, a lot of personality. A lot of personality. Well, who's the... So now we have... Can we just leave it up to the fans to vote? I guess the fans will vote. Oh, you want to do it like a poll? Let's put it on social media. Yeah, why don't we put it on Instagram? Social media. Go to Team Coco Podcast on Instagram. And are we still on the vast hellscape of Twitter X? Let's just send people to Instagram. Let's do that. Yeah, that's good. All right, we'll see what happens. This is pretty exciting. It wouldn't be a drawing contest without abject hatred for the game. Oh, I did find the submarine just for - Oh, good, good, good.

1:04:17Let's see it. I want to see this. Look at that. $6.98. $6.98. And it says fires, rockets, and torpedoes over seven feet long, big enough for two kids. Now, that's what they're showing. Now, when I was a kid, I lost my shit over this thing. I was like, wait a minute. This is incredible. And I want to know, what was the company? Did anyone in America purchase this thing? And what did you, in fact, get? Because down on the side, they're showing people inside the cockpit of this thing. And it says over seven feet long, seats two kids, controls that work. Oh, wait, I think I remember what it is. Rockets and fire, real periscope, firing periscope.

1:04:57Same with the hovercraft. It's a manual on how to build it, if I'm not mistaken. And there's somewhere in the front. You know what? We need to find out. We need to find out because this haunted my childhood. This is up there with the Uncle Sam Halloween mask. I must find out. someone please out there, the Polaris nuclear sub for$6.98. Plus 75 cents shipping charges. Yeah. Yeah, we got to find out more about this. Okay, to be continued. All right. Conan O 'Brien needs a friend with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow.

1:05:40Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

1:05:48Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan.

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