Andy Samberg

25:17uh well certainly on snl i think the pace that we kept in our editing and stuff you can see that now influencing the the stuff being done which makes me so happy because i'm very antsy about my comedy i want it to just be like um so but we're all children of monty python yes that's what you're saying like and mel brooks like when i was a kid peewee's big adventure like those things turned into Spongebob and they turned into us and they turned into, you know, Mr. Show and Stella and all the things that influenced us of like, what if it was real life, but really it's just a cartoon and anything can happen and the world is spongy.

25:57And that's what, when I was a kid, made my brain go crazy. Like Billy Madison, Tommy Boy, things like that, where you're just like, I can't feel happier about watching something because it just allows me to disappear into it. Right. And there's a, I mean, music also an important part. yeah i mean huge music guy and so yeah obviously dick in the box yes uh there's a there's a strong musical component to this stuff yes and we also again got really lucky where it was like timberlake like hottest thing in the game being like i want to do one with you guys and us being like use all of your powers justin and him literally being like all right here's how we're gonna do it i'm gonna stack all my vocals these are all harmonies these are split to the left these are split to the right and we were just like, oh my God, this is like how he's making the biggest songs in the world right now.

26:46And he's applying it to our song we're writing about sticking your dick in a box at Christmas. You know what I mean? It's like you're in a room with Mozart. And he's like, what do you gentlemen have? Yeah, yeah. All right, you ever see the movie Diner? He's like, I love it. Oh, so we'll do this. Dick in the box. Yes, yes. And I'm like, and I'm also here.

27:12when you were in college, you did standup, I think for seven years, which I didn't know. And I'm trying to imagine you doing standup because I never thought about doing standup. I always thought, no, that's not me. I was wondering if you did, because I think you would destroy. Well, I later on went and did it in different ways. And of course you build that muscle doing a late night show every night where you're standing in front of an audience and yeah, the thing that got me into it was I wanted to do very silly things in a late night show. And I wanted to create an insane world that was sort of in the spirit of what Dave had done, but very different, which was cartoons.

27:58Very cartoony, like you were saying. And I've always thought of myself as I'm a cartoon character. The hair, the name, I like to be thrown around like a cartoon character. I like to throw people around like they're cartoon characters. So you can attest to that. Yeah, no, it's very true. Okay, that's enough out of you. Okay, happy to be here. You signed a waiver. So many NDAs? Like terms and conditions. Yeah. You own a timeshare. Oh, yay.

28:29It's not a good one. You're way behind in pain. Yeah, there's a lot of bad news here. It's like a timeshare in Baltimore? It's in Baltimore. Yeah, but it's built in kind of - Hey, no shade, no shade. We love Baltimore. Shout out to Baltimore. Hey, Baltimore. And you have to say they're 50 weeks out of the year. I'm so behind. But it's also built as a Mediterranean bungalow. Wow. So it's very cold in the winter. I have to go. But it's in the middle of the road. That was nice knowing you. Trunks come through all the time. Open the door again. Why?

29:02Stryps, you're sunk. It is a scam. So you find your people first, which you did. I think I did. I found my people. And then like a Robin Hood, I was like, okay, I got my gang together. Now we're gonna head off on this adventure. Then you find your, you know, I'm gonna go on my trip now with my gang and we're gonna try and accomplish this goal. Go through Sherwood Forest and do something. But you gotta get the people first. And that was crucial. And I think that kind of has to happen in your early 20s a lot of times, if you're lucky. If you're lucky, yeah. I mean, and before you have kids, because it gets way more complicated, obviously.

29:47For kids that you're willing to acknowledge legally. Yeah. Well, I had all kinds of kids in the 80s. And like, what are they up to now? David is one of them. I'm right here. Oh, shit. Yeah, he's... That's hella awkward. She contacted me and said, you do something with him. You hire him. Yeah.

30:06so he's been here and we fired Sona and put him on mic yeah but then after this after I leave you're gonna like hug him like too tight and be like I fucking love you so fucking love you he's been drinking no maybe I've mentioned this but it's one of my favorite things for the wrong reasons but the Green Lantern movie that Ryan Reynolds made yeah there's a moment where the scientist who ends up being the bad guy in that Green Lantern movie spoiler thank you he uh he has the ability to read minds and his father's a tough general and the father comes over to him at one point and he praises ryan reynolds you're a great guy and then you can hear his voice thinking like yeah he's really great and then whatever and he says goodbye to him then he turns to his son and he's the son says father well i've been working on these experiments and he gives him a hug and or shakes his hand and goes good job son and then you hear him, you hear some think, what a disappointment.

31:11It's literally the, like the Joe Montana sketch. Yeah, but it was for real. They don't bother me. I'll be masturbating. It's not supposed to be a laugh line. I laughed. I laughed. I saw it in the theater. I think someone was coming on from the late night show and I saw it in the theater and the, and the general hugs, um, son played by, a famous actor. Anyway. Brad Pitt. No. Ryan Reynolds. Clark Gable. The little tramp himself. Charlie Chaplin. Well, I was going to say no, but because you said the little tramp himself, Charlie Chaplin, it was Charlie Chaplin. Anyway, the idea that I would hug my son and go, good to see you, son.

31:56What a disappointment. So I told my son this and I do it with him all the time. I hug him and I go, I love you. What a disappointment. It is here. Anywho, Eduardo, why don't you just miscue another track? I'm fucking sorry. Shots fired. Yeah, left and right. What a disappointment. Peter Skarsgård? No. Damn it. That's why I didn't say that. Anywho, doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. We'll edit this out. We'll be chopped together. You'll do a nice little... You know who it could have been? Blake Lively. She was in that. That's right. That's where they got together and met. Something like that. I don't speak on things like that.

32:38Wow. You're principled. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's their private life. Whoa. And I think you're a little gassy, too.

32:51You know, you zip your lip, but then immediately you got a fart? Yeah. Yeah, because it's trapped. No way to go, but out. Yeah. That's a good character, the mime, who keeps zipping his lip. and then you're like oh all right so you're really i love mimes you're on snl and you worked very hard for seven years i think and um and it took a toll because the kind of work you were doing is very labor intensive the shorts the shorts were really labor intensive and then i imagine there's all kinds of pressure give us another one of those it becomes viral the next day yeah i mean there'd be just be that i mean yes for the first five years we couldn't believe our luck you know they're like they're just asking for him now we have like a spot on the show every week uh but not coincidentally after five seasons keeve and yorm both kind of left and we're half half working there half not keeve went made a movie yorm went made a movie and it started getting a lot more difficult physically and creatively.

33:57Yeah. And so by the end of the seventh season, I was like, I don't think I can do it anymore, basically. So I went back for the 50th when I was in the audience and really enjoying the show. And then I think the three of you did a short about anxiety. Oh, yes, yes. Yes. And I did it with Mike Diva too, who's a director there now. And it is about how many people talk about the anxiety of working on SNL. Yes, yes. And it's funny because you're kind of taking a piss out of that old saw that, you know, it's like going into battle, doing SNL, the anxiety involved. But also at the same time, you're honoring that it is true.

34:37And it was really funny. I loved it. Thank you. Yeah, there's a whole section of it where I start singing, If These Pipes Could Talk. Because it's talking about how everyone who ever worked there gets IBS basically from stress. uh and you know it that video that night yeah everyone that worked there at some point was went out of their way to be like that was that was really like that nailed how it feels basically in a fun hopefully way also at a great moment because the 50th it came out beautifully i thought but of course part of the process was a mad scramble because things have to be I think there might be some part of Lauren that likes that.

35:21Of course. Also, it's stressful to be at the 50th. Make no mistake. Like, you love it. You wouldn't miss it. But you're like, it's fucking everyone who's ever worked here is all here. And like, who's going to say hi to me? Who's not going to say hi to me? Who do I say hi to? Am I going to be in the show? If I'm in the show too much, do I like what I'm doing? Am I pissed about that? If I'm not in the show, are they ignoring me? Like, there's no winning when you go back into that because it's such a vortex of everything that's ever happened there. So I was kind of hoping it would sort of be in the spirit of that also.

35:51Yeah, I think you touched on something that anyone who's worked there has felt. And it's so strange because people that, so many people enjoy SNL, as they should, they should enjoy it without knowing what goes into the sausage. Of course. So they're not supposed to know. No one's supposed to know that the level of anxiety that some people, Some people manage to do it and not feel that. Yeah. That's not how I'm built. I always felt, and I was a writer. I was not a performer, but just as a writer, I felt like there was a gun against my head all the time. It's designed that way. Yeah. It's a pressure cooker.

36:33But also, I personally went through that process, and I still love it the same as before I worked there. Yeah. Because it gave me everything I had hoped it would ever give me, and I loved doing it. Yeah. And so you have to recognize when it's time for you to leave because you can't physically do it anymore. And if you can do that, I think it's fine. I mean, every job is hard. Like you go to your doctor and they're all cheery, hopefully, but like they went to med school for like 70 years or something. So like it's, it's a job and it's work and you do that work and your job is to make it seem like it's fun and just let the fun part filter through onto the show.

37:15right yes i i disagree no i disagree but you disagree and then but say more about that i just think you're wrong then you think i'm stupid and ugly stupid and ugly yes but i hope that was implied yeah it's interesting because when you went on to do the very funny uh long-running brooklyn 99 you're working in this format that i think you and i are similar you mentioned it earlier you kind of want to make something and have it be out there pretty soon. And if you're making a short film or if you're in a sketch or I've always loved the world of think of it. And then it happens pretty soon after you think of it.

37:56Yes. And I struggle in the format of, I mean, I don't even know how people make movies. I, what little I've seen of it, the idea that you would spend years of your life and not know you would drop a nickel and not into a well and not hear it splash for seven years and then get a critique. And it splashes when you're busy doing six other things. Yes. That feels very strange to me. And even the rhythm of doing a Brooklyn Nine-Nine would be very different. Yes. Than. What you got? What you got, kid? What you got? What you got? Yes. We got to a point. I mean, in our first five or six seasons or something, we had like over 20 episodes a season.

38:35It's like that old school series order. so we would reach a point where we were they were being written and we were shooting them after the season had started airing and when you get into that rhythm it's a little more stressful but you can be like hey if I think of this joke today it'll be on the air in like a month two months which for a TV show is pretty good. The thing about making Brooklyn that I loved I mean there were a million things I loved about it but to your point earlier about doing the digital shorts at SNL is controlling the edit. And just being like, if a joke is a dud, it's gone.

39:12Like the freedom of that feeling of knowing we're not going to expose anyone in our cast, we're not going to embarrass ourselves and we're going to make it as tight as it needs to be or as slow as it needs to be for that thing. But something I was really proud of about Brooklyn Nine-Nine is that it flies. It really just goes and goes and goes. And that's something I really love personally. Yeah. Pacing. and I think of all the great clips that I watch over and over and over again from some of my favorite comedy movies, whether it's the Marx Brothers or W.C. Fields or whether it's Peter Sellers' Clouseau.

39:48Dude, who's on first? I showed my daughter who's on first because I was like, you should know what this is. They are flying. Abbott and Costello's famous who's on first routine. And the other thing you realize about that to be a total comedy nerd for a second is what a great straight man means. You always think of Abbott and Costello. It's Costello who's the big, you know, clown. And you sometimes think, what's this straight man really doing? He's just saying, now, wait a minute. Oh, it's the whole thing. But he's fantastic. His job is to keep the line tight. Yep. You know, so that the other person hanging on doesn't sag.

40:26And he, what are you doing? What are you talking about? You know, it's just that, it's so fast. The ball is just in the air. The whole time. It's incredible. And you know, you can tell they've done it a million times. And that's, back then it was much more like, you work your act across the country and then you put it on tape, you know, which maybe we should be doing more of. It's pretty incredible when you see those performances. It's just a whole different skill set. Yeah, it was a different era when people would have an act for a lifetime. Right, yeah. So you would have your act and you think about what's happened because of technology is you can work on an act for 25 years and then they say congratulations you've got an you've got a hbo max stand-up special and you do it and they go great you know you're nominated for an emmy but you didn't get it but anyway uh really talking about no not me not me no i know but um but we know what i'm saying is that it's a quick hit the rush is over it's a very noisy world out there and you just did something you've been thinking about for whatever 15 years that you've tested and tested and tested.

41:32And now what else you got? Yeah. It's tonnage now. It really is. I mean, comedy has always been that a little bit. You're only as funny as the last thing you did. What if we did have that principle on this podcast, but it was about the last thing you just said. Right. Well, the last thing I said was pretty serious. I know. That's what I'm saying. You're not funny right now. Ironically, not funny. Yeah. So in this second, you're not funny. And so you say the last thing, tomatoes now I'm funny now you're really funny I'm almost like scared by how funny you just got you're now still not funny because you're still speaking seriously if I'm being serious and it's not funny trigger warning I have to kill myself that's the rule of your podcast there's a little room we have in the back the glass room so that we can watch you do it and there's like a samurai sword in there no it's auto-ironic oh damn yeah see now this I could get into

42:40are you a happy chap now you seem like a very happy fellow I'm pretty happy were you always pretty happy always pretty happy damn it I know it's annoying it's a struggle to work in comedy as a happy chap which I will now I only refer to myself as that. You're a real happy trappy. I feel like your SNL generation was the last one that was kind of like, it was still kind of intense and gritty. Am I wrong? It's possible. I don't know. The stories I hear both firsthand from people and like on things like podcasts and stuff, documentaries, which I have watched all. It seems like it was a little more like competitive and kind of grindy.

43:21Yeah, yeah. It was definitely that when I was there. And then I have to credit Sandler for, I'll never forget. We were, you know, I got to think of something. This guy, is this good enough? I had something last week, but I don't know if I have anything this week. It's late. I don't think I can write comedy. I don't think I have. I used to call my girlfriend at the time and say, I think I can't do this. And she'd be like, well, you know, quit then. That was fun. Anyway, I was dating the Tasmanian devil. I was like, where'd you go, Cody? Sorry, passed out for a second. You're a terrible lover. What?

44:01Does it ever get erect? What? Please. Those are just made up quips. But I was in that state of mind. And I think, you know, Smigel and Odenkirk and Greg Daniels were like, it's life or death. And it feels like that's kind of how everyone feels. And then this guy named Adam Sandler showed up one day. And he was like, babadoo. And he kept talking about, let's go get a milkshake. Oh, milkshakes are good. And he went, oh, I had strawberry. It was very good. And I just thought, what? And he was like, this is so much fun to be at SNL. Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Yippee. And he had that, I'm going to do Opera Man.

44:41I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. This is great, guys. And then I remember he came out with a movie. and when it was, the movie was premiering, he rented a big bus with all of his friends that made the movie and they drove around and they got little shakes. And then they went to the premiere and people recognized Adam and he was very happy. And you're just, this is how it's, this is a possibility. You can like this. I mean, it's. Why not? It's just your childhood, right? I guess so, yeah. I think he's just came out that way. And by the way, obviously he's a huge inspiration to me And when I saw him on SNL, it was him on SNL and Jim Carrey on A Living Color were the first times when I was younger where I was like, oh, maybe I could do comedy.

45:25Oh, yeah. Not to take away from how incredible they both are. Like, I'm not talented specifically how they are at all. But it felt so like for me, your show as well, frankly, where I was like, oh, it's coming now that what I really specifically like is successful. Yeah. And perhaps now there's a path for me. I think it is that one-to-one. I think sometimes real silliness used to be discounted somewhat. But then I've always had that theory that, no, no, I just love things that are incredibly silly. I'll use the word stupid. But then if it's really good, it's because there's some little piece of intelligence in there somewhere that I can't explain.

46:10Or maybe not. Imagine me explaining to my parents why like I'm under the table guy is like genius, right? Because it is because he's fucking off the whole enterprise. Right. Like it's, he's, he's continuing like Steve Martin and Monty Python we keep talking about. But like the whole feeling of like, I think certain people who love comedy are born into this world. And we were like, I have a question. None of it makes sense though, right? Like it's all a weird cosmic joke cartoon, right? And I'm not like alone in that, right? And then when you find other people that share that feeling and funnel it into laughing and enjoying themselves.

46:45Yeah. It feels like a gift from God. You're like, you made it to Hogwarts. Yes. You know? Yes, it is exactly how it feels. By the way, the most irresponsible school to send your children to is Hogwarts. Say more. Well, thank you. If only I had a mic and a podcast. Can you imagine sending your kids to Hogwarts and they're killed in a massive battle? Also like That happens all the time Yeah I'd be like I don't know if we should Send them back next year Yeah Did you know that 11 kids died Playing Quidditch this year Yeah yeah yeah People are constantly Imperiled and dying And I think And the school has to publish These facts They do have to put it out there I'm just saying I watch that all the time This is stand up Imagine getting the email From Hogwarts In the summertime We promise Baltimore's not gonna be there Next year I know some of the parents were concerned Baltimore showed up Killed hella kids We have taken care of it We assure you our school counselor Has talked to them You're just like oh man Okay he did come back This time he's like a squishy little Widget underneath a bench 400 kids died in a great battle That destroyed most of the school And puts any mass shooting to shame by its sheer scale.

48:15But anyway, we could use money this year for our library. We heard there was a Dementor in your child's dorm room. We're going to give you a 20 % discount on that. Right? That's a bit. Should we do a stand-up special? I think you and I should do a stand-up special. We'll talk about the money. Okay. I assume 90-10 split. You take the 90? I get the 90. Yeah, because seniority. Well, it's not just seniority. Height. Height. But also... Quality. Quality. I'm Catholic. More famous. No, I don't think that. I do. But anyway, what I'm happy for you about is that I did all these things that I'm very happy about.

49:00And then I find these things that I don't even know what they mean to people anymore. But I enjoy doing them. Yes. It's fun. and I love that. And as long as the rent's paid, I'll do the fun stuff now. Yes. And I really do look at these younger generation of comedians and I'm just delighted. When I see good stuff, it makes me very happy. I don't feel, God damn it! Agreed. They were sucking the lifeblood from me. But you get to do these things now like this animated series, Digman. Yes. Which is a really funny idea because you grew up on... Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones. And the mummy and, you know, this notion that archaeologists are like the coolest.

49:42National treasure. Yeah, like the coolest people in the world. And it's just a universe where you're just, you are told to accept that. Yes. Where you're like, archaeologists, whoa. Yeah. So yeah, me and my friend Neil Campbell wrote a whole show where that's basically the world where like archaeologists are the biggest celebrities. And you know what I love is that we all accepted it. I mean, when, you know, I'm quite a bit older than you. I got two decades on you. And I remember when Indiana Jones came out and I never for a second thought, not for a split second did I think, wait a minute, archeologist.

50:16They would show him teaching at school and then going out around the world. And it was the most exciting thing in the world. And when I knew that you were coming on, I thought, and we're gonna talk about Digman, I thought, it's just so funny to me, the idea of you could take footage of real archeologists doing what they really do, but put the Indiana Jones theme to it. And it's people just looking at geological maps for years to try and look where maybe the fault came together and there used to be a river because that, and then slowly digging, but being very careful. Little brushes. Yeah, little brushes, but then, the local government has asked you to do a stay because they want to examine what you're doing more carefully.

51:01so they shut down the site. You respond with legal letters. Now the site's been reopened, just more slow, dusty. And then lifetime over, never really found anything.

51:20Roll credits. Credits, really long credits. Like there were tons of stunts. Just lots of stuntmen that you never saw proof of In any way.

51:34And he died. It's real. It's real. I mean, some of them, I'm sure, are swashbuckling and adventure-y. Your character. Yes. The voice. Rip Dignan. The voice. Yeah. Yeah, it might sound familiar to some. I'd like to hear a little. Well, it sounds a little like this. Oh, yay! I'm happy. My favorite impressions of all time. Oh, you're the best. No, no, seriously. you're the first of all i love him i adore him oh he's the coolest i and i say this if this gets back to uh nicholas cage i adore him i my eyes are never off him when he does anything which i think is proof that he's doing something right yes but that voice dude your impression is fantastic thank you he came on snl and did it with me which i know is like an snl move but if i really had to think about one moment that i had live during that show it that was my favorite moment of the whole time.

52:28It was probably when he came and did that with me. And were you at all self-conscious about doing it with him or did it immediately just turn into, we're playing together. It's fun. Kind of the latter. I mean, I obviously didn't want him to hate me because I respect his work so much. And like the reason I have an impression is because I've watched a thousand hours of Nick Cage. You know, it's like embedded in me somewhere, but I didn't even think to do it. It was like, I think like Emily Spivey or someone wrote me into a sketch as Nick Cage. And she's like, you know, Sam Bear, can you do Nick Cage?

52:56And I was like, I don't think so. But then I tried it And I was like, I guess I can kind of do it. And then I kept doing it on update. And it was just so fun. And he was the nicest when he came. And he went so fucking ham live. Of course. We did an address and he was like, good. And we were like, this is going to work. And then on air, he just like went all in. And like did the nice thing of like, I'm going to do how you do the impression. Yes. You know, so it like feels crackly and fun. Yeah. It was just a joy. We used to do a horse on our late night show called Cloppy. and Cloppy was a horse.

53:29The conceit was I'd go like, hey, it's time to visit our friend Cloppy. And then there was like a children's theme and this horse with a big fake head would look through the window and go, hi, I'm Cloppy. And I would talk to Cloppy and Cloppy would always say very depressing things and then wander off and you'd hear a gunshot and a fall. And I'd go, oh no, Cloppy killed himself. And Cloppy would come back and, no, I didn't. And then there was always a very tortured explanation for what the gunshot in the fall was all about. Yes, yes. And he kept doing that. And that was Cloppy. And we would go out with the song too.

54:03And then I had Nick Cage on once, completely unrelated. We had him on as a guest and he's talking. And he just said at one point, I like Cloppy. And with his Nick, I mean, you can do it better than I can, but he said, I like you. I like Cloppy. You can do it for me. I really like Cloppy. and he did it with a big smile and i became obsessed when the interview was over i said the next time we do cloppy i want the the when we play the song it's cloppy i want a little circle wipe to come up of nick cage's head going holla cloppy for no reason and then go away and that was the magic of doing that kind of comedy was they went okay and then the next time we did cloppy that had a Nicolas Cage endorsement.

54:49So rad. Just as a little head. But of course he got it immediately because he liked Cloppy because he's the best. Yes. He's the best. He's the best. I like the horse that comes in with the happy song and then you think maybe he killed himself. Because that's fucking funny. You know, he's like, yeah, man, it is. That's good stuff. I also want to give a shout out to The Roses, which is, I mean, talk about this cast. You're in this movie with Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman. Yeah, yeah. This is one of those things that you have to have a moment of, I'm sorry, I was doing really weird shit on the internet 25 years ago.

55:25And now I'm with two of the best actors in the world. Truly. In a film? Yeah, in a movie. Jay Roach directed it. Me and Kate McKinnon play a married couple who are friends with them. It's a remake of War of the Roses, but really more of a reimagining. Yep. And it's written by Tony McNamara, who wrote, like, The Great and The Favorite and Poor Things and stuff. Is there an intimidation factor there? And it's okay if there isn't. You don't have to say there is. I'll say this. SNL breaks you over a little because you deal with everyone and you realize like, all right, everyone's just people. It's just, are you that crazy of a fan that you get a little nervous?

56:03Which I did. I did a movie a couple of years ago with Kate Winslet and it was a straight drama. And after going through that, I was like, well, at least this, The Roses is comedic and I'm supposed to be funny in it. So I was relaxed in that way. I was also paired with Kate, and that was very comfortable for me. But I'm not unaware that I'm like in, I'm in a scene at one point with Cumberbatch, Olivia, and Allison Janney. And it's just the four of us. And it's like a big scene. And the ghost of Lawrence Olivia. Yeah, so you're like, seriously. Boo, boo. Yeah, yeah. Like, yes, honestly. Like, Daniel Day-Lewis is like, mind if I pop in?

56:40Oh, I got it! I'm just trying to memorize my lines. Let's get the fuck out of here.

56:49But it's, you start and you're nervous and you're like, oh, here comes that day. I know that day. And then you do it. And as soon as you do a couple of takes and it's working and it's really funny too, which I just know is what I do. I'm like, all I can think is like, this is so fun and this is so cool. And they're all so nice. Like Olivia came from comedy. Benedict's hilarious. Janny is a legend and so funny. So everybody's nice. They're all like lying and saying they're nervous too to make me feel better it was very warm and very fun i remember uh re-watching hot fuzz recently olivia coleman's in it yeah and her name is like 15th in the credits yeah she's hilarious and she kills it but i think total she maybe has nine lines or something oh yeah i mean she's banging around yeah doing stuff and being really funny and then everyone was like what if we let her do drama too and it was like oh i see you're like one of the best you're one of the best ever.

57:44Yeah. And Cumberbatch was funny because I played a detective on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, obviously, co-created by Dan Gore. Dan Gore, a former writer of mine. That's why I bring it up. He betrayed me and fled in the foolish thought that he could have his own hit.

58:02Well, it never happened for you, did it, Dan? Conan, Brooklyn Nine-Nine was a huge hit. People love that show. Shut up. Sorry. I'll do all the voices if I have to. That's fine. It's like a radio play. It's good. But anyway, when I would have like a big case solve monologue on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, I would often say, everybody stand back. I'm about to start cumberbatching because of Sherlock. Yeah. Yeah. And no one, speaking of speed, which is my fave thing, I keep telling, doing like fast dialogue, perfect diction, tons of thought going into every line, taking you through this journey of like Sherlock Holmes is solving this crazy intricate thing.

58:46He was like, when it came to the detective stuff, that was my North star. Yeah. Where I was like, the look and feel should be McNulty from the wire and the speed of the solves should be Sherlock. Yes. Uh, so it was cool to get to work with him and see him like do that in person. Uh, well, you're living the dream. I am. I feel a little bit. Cause you're here with me. Bam! I made it about me again. Bam and bingo. Podcast! Podcast! The best thing anyone could ever do. When they're bad, it's okay. When they're good, it's okay. Everything's okay. It's a podcast. Podcast. I've noticed that. I'm like, anytime we do anything, and people are like, I'm like, I don't know about that one.

59:29It was great! Blaze always like, it was great! It was great! It is always great. No, it's not always good! Okay, geez. When you get a guy like Andy Simberg in here, oh man, is it good. Oh, shit. But then some piece of crud like Harrison Ford. Thank you. Thank you. And if you're listening, Harrison, I'm coming for you. That'll, that'll scare him. I want to thank you for being here. I also want to thank you for always being one of the nicest, just most relaxed, hilariously funny people I've ever known. Seriously, you, you're a ray of sunshine. Seriously. Thank you. You make me, and when you show up in your goddamn baggy pants.

1:00:16What did you say? The quick Lauren story at Wimbledon. Oh. Yeah, so. Because I brought that up and you brought up something and I said, let's do it on the pod. Yes, you said you're wearing sweatpants. What the fuck, basically. In a bit voice. Bit voice, bit voice. Yeah, I wasn't hostile. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No clickbait.

1:00:38Conan O 'Brien thrashes Andy Samming. for wearing fucking sweatpants, piece of shit, fucking slacker. All right. Long headline.

1:00:54Do you, internet? So yes. And I said, do you want me to change pants? And then I said, oh, that actually really happened to me. I went to Wimbledon with Lorne last summer and he, I got it. We were going to sit in the royal box, which is she, she as fuck, obviously. And I got an email being like, dress code, this and that. I was there shooting the roses and I didn't have any nice pants with me. So I was like, I got black jeans. That's gotta fly. Black jeans are not like normal jeans. Yeah, I would wear black jeans to a funeral and I have. Exactly, exactly. I would wear them to my own funeral. Okay, that's just stupid.

1:01:28Why? No, you went too far. Hang on, I gotta burn. Let's get a rewrite on that.

1:01:37I wish I had done it on purpose. It was just like, I couldn't hold it anymore. You did what you had to do. I was like, black jeans, the Queens box, they're not going to care. Like, also like. A little A. Sandberg here. Hello. I'm not like unknown in the UK. So. You're a huge star in the UK. I'm full Jack Black. Okay. I'm not unknown. So we show up, walk in immediately. You can't wear those pants. I was just like, oh no, fuck, I fucked Lauren, I ruined his vacation. And they were like, no, no, it's fine. You just have to put on some of our Wimbledon brand khakis. Oh, of course. So they take me into a building, into a giant conference room, empty, with like five pairs of Wimbledon brand khakis on the table.

1:02:30And they're like, yeah, I wish everyone's fit, and then left. And I was like, I guess I'll get into my underwear. So I change out of my jeans into the Wimbledon khakis. They're not a nice fit. No. Not a flattering fit. Not flattering. I'm not a khaki guy at this point. No. And, you know, hugging in all the wrong places. But I'm like, you know, it's forlorn. Yeah. So come back out. They're like, oh, thank you so much. Sorry about that. Sorry. I'm like, yeah, it's fine. Walk out to the Queen's box. Sit down. And as we sit, there's like, ladies and gentlemen, the person's hurt and then retired. The match is canceled.

1:03:06Enjoy mixed doubles. and everyone in the royal box stands up and leaves and we're just like should we get some tea so your autobiography will be entitled khakis for no reason khakis for nothing or like piece of shit what i don't like that punitive inner voice you have here's a fucking piece of shit no but like little font so ellipse ellipses no little tiny font here's a piece of shit no andy the point is you were a piece of shit in the past but now past but that was six months ago i was gonna ask you the timeline super late i was like give me the time you pulled it out uh andy samberg i'm gonna let you go congratulations on everything and uh this has been i don't know I need to pay someone because this was so much fun.

1:04:02So just name your amount and we'll... Yeah, thank you, shake your marks. Wow, I got off easy. Okay, all right. I do have fun, you know. Andy Sandberg, God bless you. Thank you, Conan. Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

1:04:38Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan.

1:05:13And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.