Car Talk

0:03Conan O 'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, Okay, let's get started. Hi, Jonah. Welcome to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Fan. Hey, Jonah. How's it going? We're doing great. How are you? I'm doing well. I'm doing well. It's great to finally get to talk with you guys. Tell me, Jonah, where are you coming from right now? I'm coming from Tupelo, Mississippi, which is the birthplace of Elvis. That's right. Elvis Aaron Presley, born in Tupelo, Mississippi. That is very cool. I believe 1935. And his house is still there. Is that right? That is right. Right. He has a whole section dedicated to him kind of in one corner of Tupelo.

0:46But, you know, every corner you turn, there's like Elvis graffiti. I mean, he's just ubiquitous. He's everywhere. He's yeah. Yeah. Well, he is one of the biggest stars of all time. I keep trying to get my hometown of Brookline, Massachusetts to commemorate something in my honor. Nothing. Oh, absolutely nothing. And I said I'm kind of the Elvis of, and then I can't even finish the sentence because I can't think of anything. Someone put a Conan sticker and they painted right over it. They painted over it, yeah. There was a Conan statue for eight seconds. It was made of butter. And a car drove through it, smashed it.

1:24So Jonah, what do you do? What do you do for a living? Yeah, so I'm a used car dealer. The business was passed down to me from my granddad. who pretty much retired out of it in 2020. And so ever since then, we've renewed everything in my name. Cool. And I've kept it chugging along. Do you like being a used car dealer? I do, I do. It's rewarding for sure. And also I like to be able to just kind of not have a chain of command. I can kind of just do whatever I'd like to do. Um, so, uh, especially with just being able to raise my, my three-year-old, she, uh, she comes into work with me. Yeah. Oh, that's so nice.

2:11So you're your own boss. You sell used cars. How many cars, used cars do you have right now? It's, it's a very small lot. I typically keep five to 10. I think currently I have, uh, I have seven in inventory and then I have two out in the shop right now getting, getting painted. So. Jonah, let me ask you a question. Let's say I tomorrow, because I could jump on a plane. I can get to Tupelo. There's a direct flight from Burbank. Can I, and let's say I wandered onto your lot. Is there a car on your lot that you would put me in that you think I'd be a good match for? I don't think that I would have anything currently that you would be real interested in.

2:52But, you know, I could put you in one of my cars and we could just kind of tour around the city. and I could show you all over, could show you all those Elvis faces. Oh, that's great. But no, I don't think I - That's cool. No, first of all, I've owned all kinds of cars. I had a 73 Plymouth Valiant once. I had an Isuzu Opal that I bought, used at LAX. I had a Ford Taurus. I've had many kinds of cars. I've enjoyed them all. I'm not a car snob, so I'm, you know, you might have a car that I would really like, but I really liked the way you just said, hey, you could just hop in the car and we could go for a ride.

3:30You seem like a very nice, chill person. Do you get that a lot? Do people tell you that? Yes, they do. I usually just try to keep a very calm demeanor in any kind of situation. Wow, you're like the opposite of me. Yeah. It's so cool. He really is. Honestly, he really is. He puts us at ease. I found my opposite because because you're very relaxed. Yeah. And you seem like you take life as it comes. Yeah. I've never done that. I fight every day. I fight the day from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep. Just battling it, battling time, battling my own existence. Sorry, it's got really intense, Jenna.

4:15Well, it's funny because a lot of people, a lot of people will say that I'm the opposite of like how a typical car salesman would act. You know, a lot of them, you know, they're very direct and they're, you know, they can be kind of pushy almost. Right, they can pressure you. I mean, I asked you outright, if I come to Tupelo, what car would I buy? And you went, oh, I don't know if I have a car for you. Maybe I'll just drive you around. Yeah. I mean, you're actually losing money on this deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, don't worry, I'll pay for the gas. I'll buy you some lunch. I mean, you do seem like someone who, if I showed up, you wouldn't put any pressure on me at all to buy a car.

4:55No, not at all. I just, you know, I try to honestly, it's kind of it's almost like a sales pitch to just say, you know, hey, no pressure. Check it out. You know, if you want it, you know, take it home with you. And so people really, you know, people like that. You know, they don't like to feel like someone's just being right over top of them, you know, about a vehicle or anything, really. So that's kind of my approach with not just the sales, but just kind of life in general. Just take things as it comes. I bet you you're the kind of friend that would pretty much do anything for anybody. That you seem like that.

5:37Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I try to. I try to be there for anybody who needs me pretty much. I can't get past the fact that you bought a car at LAX. What the hell happened there? Oh, I know the story. Yeah, it was years ago. My writing partner at the time, Greg Daniels, and when we first came to LA in 85 and didn't know anything, there was like a, you know, I think a company called Rent-A-Wreck. You could rent a beat up old car and we rented it. And then not knowing anything said, how much would it be just to buy this? And the guy looked at us like, you're kidding, right? This thing's barely a car.

6:13But we bought it for I think like$700 or something. Which one was that? The Isuzu Opal. A 1977 Isuzu Opal. And it had a sticker on the back that said, I heart my, and then the head of a poodle. And we couldn't, and it had a racing stripe. A four cylinder car. With a racing stripe. A four cylinder car with a racing stripe. Which is like, it is like, yeah, it's like putting a spoiler on a turtle. That's great. And we drove this car around and then I bought it from Greg. I was like, that sucker let this thing out of his mitts. You bought him out? I bought him out. At twice the first time. And then didn't understand why I'd like try and, I'd take a young lady out on a date and she'd get in the car and it looked like a family of six had been murdered in the back seat with a machete.

7:04The seat was, anyway, this is a car even you couldn't sell, Jonah. And I drove it around L.A. for about two and a half years. Jonah, what's the strangest car you've had to sell? Is there any oddities or anything? There's not been anything that's just really stood out. However, what comes to mind with that question, though, is my granddad had this limo at one point. He had purchased it from an auction, and so he had a limo. and he sold it to somebody, but I just, somebody come up and wanted it. You should drive around in a limo, but you're driving it. Oh, that'd be great, a stretch limo. Yeah, but it'd be funny if I bought a early 80s stretch limousine that had been used for like 600 proms and it has 140 ,000 miles on it, but I drive it.

7:56Yeah. And then every now and then, Sonya, you stick your head out the sunroof and go woo! I would love to be the woo girl. I've done that. I wooed it. And then I'd be looking for a low bridge. Oh, come on. Come on. Oh, it just grazed the bun of your hair. That's all. Come on.

8:24Now it looks like you've got some tattoos on your chest. Is that right, Jonah? You've got your shirt open. I see some tattoos there. How much, how much, how much ink you got? That's what I like to say. Well, it's... That's what I say to the fellas in a restroom. Hey buddy, how much ink you got? Let's see it. It's not weird at all. Well, show us your chest, Jonah. Hey Jonah, let's see that chest. This is how I talk to people. Hey, I might buy a car. Take off your shirt.

8:59That's not the first time someone's asked me that. Oh no, is that true? I'm thinking I might buy that car, but first let's see those packs. A little different kind of test drive I'd like to do. Yeah. I won't need the car. Yeah. Sorry, this compliment turned crazy really fast. Oh man. No, it's okay, it's okay. I honestly don't even know how many tattoos that I have. I just know that I have two sleeves and a chest piece. I would say that that might be 50 or so. I don't know. What do you mean you don't? So you're not doing it deliberately or what happened? Did you fall asleep and someone tattooed you?

9:39No, it's just that at some point after you've had so many, you just kind of stop keeping count. And like, you know, so I don't really know exactly how many I have at this point. You are laid back. I do know. Yeah, I know. I know. You're incredibly laid back. Oh, I don't know. I just, uh, these tattoos, I don't even know. I'll just let people do it. That's so cool. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm asleep and somebody's just tattooing me. Yeah. Um, yeah. I mean, it's, I've, I've had, I have several, um, my, my friend, uh, is the one that did most of them. um he was interested in trying to utilize drawing as like a career but he wasn't getting anywhere uh that way you know you can't just sell pictures for a living usually like drawings so he got into tattooing and i think i was like his first one if i wasn't his first one i know i had to been like in his top three you let your friend you let your friend practice on you right that's correct what was the tattoo a great artist it was actually i think it may have been the bear here right oh that's cool that's really good wow that's awesome that guy's good yeah so he i mean so i had i had full confidence in him from from the jump pretty much yeah i didn't doubt him for a second so um so you said you have a three-year-old child is that right i do her name's ella and uh in the days uh you know coming up towards the uh the interview uh i i was uh talking to her about you and like trying to say like hey uh dad's gonna talk to conan so throughout the week uh she had been just kind of running around the house saying conan conan a lot of three-year-olds do that yeah they i'm huge with the three-year-olds Right.

11:37Before the brain is completely formed, they love me. And then once they have reason, the reason center expands, I'm through. That's really cool though. I bet you'd be a really great dad because you're so chill. I think that's a great energy to get off of a parent. Don't you think? Yeah, I think so too. Just calm, relaxed, sweet. That's great energy. Yeah, yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah. I try to just be very calm with her. If she does something that she's not supposed to, I always just try to just be extremely calm with her and just kind of set her down, tell her like, hey, you're not supposed to do that.

12:19So yeah, I just try to be very chill with her for sure. And then try and put her in a 1982 Chevy Chevette. Yeah, get in here. With a high interest deferred loan. Yeah, exactly.

12:37That's really good parenting is put that kid in a, I see you. Yeah. I see you in a, in a Cordoba. Did you have a question for me? Is there anything I can help you with? Yeah, Conan. I was going to ask if you had just like a go-to sales pitch. I mean, what, what would you, you know, how would you word it? How would you, how would you act if you were trying to just sell somebody, just anything. Anything? Wow. Well, it depends on what it is. I would say this heroin. Oh! Well, I'm sorry. Okay, maybe that's the wrong way to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. It sells itself. Sorry, yeah. I just was trying to pick up a product that didn't need a lot of selling.

13:20I think I agree with you. I'm very bad at convincing people to do something. I'm very uncomfortable in that role. I've always more or less tried to tell people if this feels like a good situation for you, then you should do it. But I think I'd be in a lot of trouble if my livelihood, putting food on my kid's plate, relied on me selling somebody something. I think you have the right idea, which is, I find myself as a consumer, when people are saying, yep, this is, when I go into a store and they go, yep, this is what we have, and I think it's really nice. but if it's either right for you or it isn't, I'm more attracted to that product than if someone's saying you've got to put this on or you've got to try and drive this.

14:10You can't leave this store without at least trying it. Then I just really want out of there instantly. So I agree with your approach. Yeah. Well, great. I'm glad to know that I'm doing something right. I think so too. I think you're doing a lot right. Because a lot of people seem to. I do I think you're doing a lot right and I definitely think everyone should listen to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend available wherever you get your podcasts ah there it is I'm not interested right now I'm not listen to me you cannot leave until you try this Conan O 'Brien guy now first of all he seems shrill and off-putting but over time you're going to find he's your best friend sir this is the 31 flavors I came in for an ice cream yeah Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend available in two scoops now with sprinkles I used to make up a lot of stuff what do you mean?

14:56Like I sold watches. I used to lie a lot. And when people would ask me questions, instead of asking what the, like what was the right thing, I just made it up. So like you tell them this can, you can cook a, you can cook a chicken with this watch. Or just this watch works. This is a watch that I didn't take. Yeah. Or they'd be like, where was it manufactured? I'd be like, I don't know, Switzerland. And it would be like a Casio. Oh my God. The answer is always Prague. Prague. It was made in Prague. No, I know. I used to lie a lot. So you would just lie. I would, and people would believe me. Well, of course they would.

15:32Because they like people who know what they're talking about. But you didn't know what you were talking about. Yeah, but they didn't know that I didn't know what I was talking about. People like someone who they think knows what they're talking about. You know what's interesting? Jonah and Sona are both very chill. Jonah, you're one of the more chill, relaxed, centered people I've met. And Sona, to your credit, you are a very relaxed person who knows herself and is confident in herself, yet you're very different types of that relaxed. Jonah seems principled and honest, and you will say anything.

16:06You'll just tell people absolute bullshit, something Jonah would never do. Yeah, I wasn't even working on commission. Like, it didn't matter. You weren't even selling watches. No, you were just in the store. I'm definitely team Jonah, not team Sona. Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp. Well, Jonah, it was very nice talking to you, and if I get to Tupelo, which I'd love to do, I've never been there, and I would like to see the rather modest home where Elvis Presley was born. I know he then moved to Memphis, went to Humes High School. And so his time in Tupelo isn't that long, but yeah, I'd love to go there.

16:45I would love to go and see it, so I would look you up and we could tool around. and whatever car you deem suitable. Absolutely. Maybe I can even try to track down that limo and see if we can drive around the city in the limo. I may also tattoo you as we drive around since you don't seem to care what goes on your body. Yeah, just bring it on. I'm here for the experience. All right, Jonah, very cool talking to you. Thank you very much and have a great day. Bye, John. Yeah, you too. Thank you, guys. See you later. See you later. Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley.

17:28Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Dleow, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan?

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