Club Grub Hub

0:03Conan O 'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hi, Alejandra. Welcome to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Fan. Hi. Oh, my God. Hello. I told myself to not freak out when I met you guys, and look how that went. It's okay. You're allowed to freak out. That's okay. Your name is Alejandra. Is this right? Alejandra. Alejandra Trigueros. And where are you calling us from? Well, just call me Bob, if you're going to say that. Everyone's a wise guy. Alejandra, tell us, where are you right now? I'm in Madrid, Spain. Oh my God, Madrid. I've never been to Madrid.

0:46Yeah. Really? You should. In Barcelona, everyone's been to Barcelona. I've been to Barcelona, but I've never been to Barcelona. Oh, there you go. But I've never been to Madrid and I would love to see it someday. Alejandra, tell us a little bit. Do you go by Alejandra? Mostly Ale. Ale, okay, Ale. Yeah. Alejandra sounds very serious. Like my mom, she gets mad at me. Okay.

1:15So your English is perfect. I mean, you sound like you're coming to me from San Diego or something. I mean, it's perfect right now. Or Cincinnati. Cincinnati. Well, I'm saying you have a beautiful Cincinnati accent. It's amazing. Hey, I'll take it. Over a thick local accent, I'll take it. But Alejandra, how did your, I mean, you live, are you a citizen of Madrid? You grew up in Madrid? Yeah, I was born and raised here. Wow. I speak English like this because I suffer from an acute overconsumption of American entertainment. We're seeing really acute. Everything I get my hands on, podcasts, books, movies, TV shows, all the things.

2:01Yeah. So when people ask me about my English and I tell them I read a little bit of gossip every now and then, I see it pays off. That's funny. That's great. So you just basically watched American television, listen to American podcasts. And that has influenced. It's destroyed one of the most beautiful accents in the world. Yeah. Well, I did live with Americans for about three years. Friends from New York. Shout out to Michelle, Pauly and Jamie. And I spent 24 hours with them, really. Great. Can we make sure we edit out that shout out, please? No, no. Make sure it's edited out. I don't trust them.

2:35They're gone. They're not. I'm not friends with them. I don't know them. Dead to us. Just put a big key over that shout out. Okay. Not for any other, not for legal reason, just that I don't know them and they should get no free rides. How about if I give you some credit? You and Ellen have also played a major role because I've consumed all the things, all the clips of your talk shows that I could get off the internet because your shows weren't shown here. So when YouTube started, I started watching a bunch of Ellen and YouTube suggested some clips of your show. And I was peeing my pants laughing.

3:08Oh, that's so glad that I made you urinate. Alejandra, many people think I am Ellen and many people go up to Ellen and say, hi, Conan. So it's a common misconception. Well, both pale, the hair color. And you've said your womanly looks. They're your words. These are my words. These are my words come back to haunt me. Well, tell me a little bit about your life. Mostly what I like to do is try and figure out how I can help my fans around the world. How can I help you, Alejandra? What can I do for you? I don't think I can do much. You're very beautiful. You're obviously very smart, very well-spoken.

3:44How can I help you? So I'm 34. I have two kids. I've recently had the second one. She's four months old. and I actually have a little beef with you because I was recently trying to get her to sleep and I listened to a lot of hours of this podcast and when I say you, I mean the three of you and recently you guys made me laugh so hard that I woke up my newborn who had just gone to sleep after about 30 minutes of trying to get her to sleep I was like, oh my God, I hate them, even though I love them You know what we should do? I should speak less and you guys should speak more so that children can sleep We should speak in soothing tones.

4:24No, no, no. You mean so it's not as funny? Exactly. I think when I'm talking, it's like. But I think you guys should take the lead. Oh, I'm kind of shrill. So I think that it just should be gorely. But you're really funny, too. So maybe I should. I don't know. No one should talk. I think if we just use just kind of foggier voices like this. Now you just sound high. I should maybe not be a listener. Yeah, I wouldn't listen to the podcast. I've told many people you should not listen to the podcast. while caring for a sleeping baby. Because, I mean, the laughs are gonna come. They just are. They are.

4:59They are. So, well, congratulations on having these two children and a newborn. That's a lot of work. Or so I'm told. What did I do? Oh, my God. Nothing. Really, nothing. I was told by my wife, you're to have nothing to do with these children. Yeah. Yeah, she wanted them to grow up without the Conan influence.

5:27And so are you taking care of them full time or do you work? So as of right now, I'm taking care of the little one. The big one is in school. My husband's gone back to work, but I go back to work October 14th after, yeah, we get about five months of maternity leave in Spain. Wow. Wow. It is a lot. What is your what is your what is your profession? I am a legal counsel in the legal department of a big engineering multinational. I do international commercial contracting. I'm boring myself by explaining this. Well, no, no, no. First of all, first of all, Alejandro, do not sell yourself short. That is a I am very impressed.

6:08That is a very high powered job you have. Thank you. And I will tell you that's that's quite a lot. I mean, you have sounds like your husband has a job. You have this very high powered job. You have two kids. That's a lot. Like my job is intense, but it's also not as insane as it is to become a lawyer in the U.S. It's it's less years. I studied about six years, whereas in the U.S. You have to do like four undergrad and then about three of grad school. Then the LSAT's insane. Here's not as insane, although I won't. I'll take the compliment. Yeah. Alejandra, you keep trying to convince me that you're not an impressive person.

6:47And yet you are clearly the smartest person out of the four of us in this room. And you're not even in the room. You're not in the room. And you're much smarter than we are. OK, keep talking. That's a lot, though. That's a lot to have. Yeah, it's intense. I'm not sleeping a lot. And to to be legal counsel for this massive company. That's big. Yeah, it's pretty big. It's it's not a lot of sleeping. It's a lot of stressing, a lot of cortisol pumping all the time. So, yeah, it's a bit intense. I do go to a fair amount of restaurants. I'm obsessed with food. I grew up in a family that talks about nothing other than food.

7:27So I make a point of taking some space for myself, going to restaurants, trying delicious food, going out with friends. So I do manage to get some space for myself. I'm impressed by that because not that I'm throwing around on the bus or anything. But when my children were born, my wife said no restaurants, no movies, no joy for anyone until they're 12 years old and kind of locked it down, kind of locked it down. and so we're just sort of, they're both in college now and we just, we're just now going outside again and I remembered, oh, that's the sun. Look at the sun. That burning orb in the sky.

8:17But anyway, I love my wife. Shut it down. That's so nice. My wife was not, we were not going to restaurants for quite a while. Yeah. Is that because she was tired or she didn't want to, like was afraid of what your kids would do in the restaurant. Oh, she just didn't want to leave the kids behind. Oh, I see. When kids are young, I mean, you're not taking your kids to, I think, first of all, in Spain, correct me if I'm wrong, but in Madrid, don't you start eating, the time to start dinner, I think is at two o 'clock in the morning. Isn't that when you guys have dinner? It is fairly late. Not 2 a.m., but it is fairly late.

8:55What time do you eat dinner? Like a regular dinner that's not too early, not too late. would be at nine. Nine, yeah, starting at nine. I'm asleep by then. No, no, I'm serious. My wife's - Yeah, my foreign friends want to book tables at seven and the restaurants aren't even open. No, no, no. They'll tell you the earliest, earliest table they have is at 8.30. Oh boy. This is a true thing. The McDonald's in Madrid, they all serve breakfast. They start at five o 'clock in the afternoon. That's a true story. You can't have it before then. Lunch is at six o 'clock and then you can't get Big Mac, I don't think, till 4 a.m.

9:33They're all insane. It's not called the Big Mac in Spain. It's called the Conquistador. Yeah, my husband's foreign and he does not do well with our eating schedule here. Where is your husband from? From Poland. Okay, he's from Poland. So he must think these people are crazy. They're going out to have these full... I mean, these are elaborate meals too, right? You're having elaborate meals in elaborate restaurants. Yeah, what time do you go to bed? And are you going to bed just in full digestion mode? No, I think people go to bed at like 11 p.m. So if you have dinner at like 7, then you're really hungry by the time you go to bed, no?

10:14No, no. You should try it. Give it a shot. I think you're just different people. I'm telling you, it's a whole different culture. They're different people. They have massive meals. very late at night. I love that. Yeah. And then. In theory, I love that. I love that. Well, first of all. Yeah, lunch also happens late. So, okay. You go out to these meals. Is your husband coming with you on these meals when you go out? No, mostly we take turns to go out with friends. Because if both of us leave, then it's a whole thing. Either my mom or the nanny. Like, it's too much. Too much. So I'm mostly looking for space with my friends.

10:52Okay. That's all right. Yeah. This also sounds familiar. You don't want to spend time with your spouse, but with your friends. Yes, my wife did a lot of that as well. Conan, why don't you stay here and people who make me laugh can have dinner with me. It was all your friends. It was all my friends. It was you guys. My wife was always saying, I'm meeting Matt and Sona. At the best times of our lives. At the Hunky Dory, that bar in the corner.

11:30so Alejandra let me understand this um you you have this big job you have two young children uh a husband but you also like to go out to eat um this all sounds it says a lot to to balance isn't it this is a lot to juggle it is it's it I I do have mental breakdowns a bit often to be honest yeah but but i'm still short of managing sanity yeah yeah i can make it look like i'm sane yeah so no i i do that too yeah i do that all the time really do you yeah not so not so good well the wheels are coming off the trolley um so uh it must be hard to balance all of that is what i'm guessing it's just hard yeah i don't get a lot of free time but sometimes self-care just isn't so easy and you have to make time for yourself or else i feel a lot more guilty when I lose my patients because I haven't had any oxygen or space than when I go out or go for a massage or go for friends.

12:29So it's really important. You know, there's an old saying that when you're on an airplane and the oxygen masks drop down, you've got to put yours on first before you put it on the child. And my theory has always been, I take both masks. I put both masks on. a child's got smaller lungs. They'll figure it out. They don't need as much, right? And God forbid, but you can get another child somewhere. So that's always been my point is - You can get another child somewhere. Well, I don't know. You know what I mean? Whatever. They come along. So my point, Alejandra, is you need to take much more time for yourself.

13:13The children will figure it out. Do you know what I mean? You need, you're working very hard. You gave birth to them. Check. I think that's enough, right? And I think you should be having dinner starting at nine. Then I think you shouldn't feel any guilt. I think you should hit the clubs afterwards. And you'll see the kids. I'm too old for that now. Yeah, you'll see. You're too old. I just got to the clubs. Yeah. Yes, I am. Oh, no. I just hit the age when I think I'm ready to go to the clubs. I never went to the clubs before. I missed out. And I want to go to the clubs now. Are you talking about golf clubs?

13:49No, I'm talking about the clubs. Did you think you were too young before to go? Like when you were like. I just didn't know where they were. No one told you where they were? People were very evasive when I said, where's the clubs? And they'd be like, I don't know. We got to go. And they were all dressed in, they had glow sticks and stuff. I never went to a club. And now I think is the time. Once I hit 60, I thought, now's the time to hit the clubs. Better late than never. This is the sweet spot. Sona, are you doing any clubbing, having twins, sets and dance? I'm not, but it did take me a while to get back to like the thing.

14:25And then a couple of days ago, I had, not a couple of days, a couple of weeks ago, I had a milestone where I threw up from drinking too much. And I was like, I remember that feeling. And then another time. Hey mom, congratulations. And then very recently, I was out with a friend. I got too high. I had to leave my car there and I took a Lyft home. You know what? I'm back, baby. You're back. That's being young again. Young and hip again. Your children are nowhere to be found, but you're back. Yeah. Yeah. And like you, I go out and then tackle stay home with the boys. Yeah. Yeah. Because you've got to get super drunk.

15:00Matt, are you doing any? No. Matt, yeah. You had like two drinks and that was it. His club is probably a historical society where they talk about, you know, Eisenhower's contributions to the highway system in the 1950s in America. If only I could get into that. He is so very cultured. That is true. Oh, no. I don't go to clubs. They come to me. Nice. They sure do. Smooth. He thinks Grubhub is a club. It rhymes, doesn't it? Yeah. He thinks when he gets his sandwich delivered. Club Grubhub. Alejandra, let's say you and I were to hang out. Let's say, and this is all theoretical, but let's say I were in Madrid and you and I were to hang out.

15:47How would you want me to help you? How could I assist you? How could I improve your life? So I would love to, since I'm obsessed with food and American comedy, it would be amazing for me if we shared a meal, one of those long meals, maybe lunch if you don't want to have dinner so late. No, dinner sounds good. Dinner sounds good. Oh, well, then dinner. Yeah. Because we're both young and hip and club hours. Thank you so much for saying that. So you're a young, attractive woman who is willing, who thinks that I'd be the perfect guy to have a late dinner with in Madrid and then hit the clubs. Is that what you're saying?

16:27Why not? Yes. Why not? Why not? Oh, hold on. Let me take out my list here. No, but by having dinner with me, you'd make me laugh to do all these two. When I was single, a shrug and a why not was the best I could get.

16:48What is Spanish? How do you say in Spain? How do you say why not? Porque no. Yeah, porque no. So, I mean, I think if I had grown up in Madrid, my adolescence and all through my 20s and 30s would have been a lot of women going. Porque no. Was it? Was it? Liza, will you marry me? Why not? Yeah, that was in our vows. her her vow her she said why not i said i do she said why not i don't not yeah i guess i would ask you which which connects with the question that i wanted to ask you to well do a bit of your thing because it makes me laugh and also i'd ask you the question um making me laugh and sharing your wisdom my question is since you have such a big legacy in american comedy and like you have such a demanding job you were doing a show every day and plus it's late night so how do you like when you had kids and you're also a family man and you're known for being a discreet celebrity that hasn't you know had any horrible stuff with the press like you haven't had any talk of gerbils we suppressed all talk of gerbils it was a monitor lizard and I paid that fucker off He gets$50 ,000 a year to keep his goddamn mouth shut It's so scaly Oh my god, the scales are the best part You know when those things get scared, their tails pop off You bet they do Oh my god, what an orgasm You were the lizard I think, I'll say it was for me, but the lizard didn't look unhappy Let's just say we both smoked a cigarette afterwards Anyway, Alejandra We somehow went astray.

18:38We. I can't. I don't know how you took me down this road. But so your question, you said a lot of nice things for me, but you didn't quite. What is the question? Yeah. The question is, when you have kids and your family grow, how do you manage coming to terms with the fact that you were going to miss out on stuff at home with your wife and the kids or at some fancy party at work? Because to balance it all, you need to miss out on stuff here and there. So how was that? Well, I have an agent and a manager. And they did a lot of checking in on my children, Gavin Pallone, Rick Rosen. And they would check in on the kids and they would occasionally text me and say, the boy seems good.

19:22The girl seems sad. And then then we would get into the financials about, you know, how the business was doing and the ratings and things like that. I have to say, all joking aside, I hit the jackpot with with my wife, Liza, because she is an impeccable mom and she just did an incredible job. And so I did miss out on things because I was working a lot. I tried to be there for important stuff. But, yeah, there were it really helps to have a partner who is fantastic. And it sounds like your husband covered. Yeah. And it sounds like your husband does a great job. And so my my rule is find an amazing partner and then totally screw them over.

20:07Leave them with the kids and eat as late as possible in Madrid. That's my rule. I'm good. Yeah. Now, who do you now? Do you have close family that you dine with as well? I do. My obsession with food came from my dad. My dad is, to say obsessed would be selling at Troy. He talks about nothing other than food. The minute he learned my husband was from Poland, the first thing he mentioned was some soup they make in some region. He knows so much about food and wine and all the restaurants that are going to open and that then become trendy after. Conversations in my house were nothing other than like this sauce, books about food everywhere, or all the good critics' books.

20:51So, yeah, I have a lot of close friends. My brother's a chef at a fancy restaurant, so I have a lot of people that I've done with. So, Alejandra, theoretically, if I were to be in Madrid and if you and I were to go out to a very late dinner at a nice restaurant, would your father come as well? And how would that go? I don't think I would invite him. Why? Because he would then start talking to you about food, monopolize the conversation. Oh, wait, are you saying that someone could monopolize a conversation with me? You really think so? This is a worthy adversary. Yeah. So that's why I would insist that he come along.

21:30You tell you tell Papa Blabbermouth that the big guns are coming to town. OK, I think I'm a world champion gabber and I would insist that he come to dinner. My mom would swear that it isn't possible to outdo my dad. I bet I can out talk your dad. I bet I can talk. And here's the great thing. Your dad knows a lot. He has great knowledge. I know nothing about food. I know nothing about the food in Madrid. And yet I will talk three times as much as your father about this stuff. I know nothing about. But your stuff is funnier, though. So, yeah, I know. I'm not worried about that part. I think I don't know who this guy is, but I think I got him covered on comedy.

22:21But I will talk much more than your father. I will dominate the conversation and I will make it all about me. That's my promise to you. Doesn't that sound fun? Maybe him and you should go. And I am not invited. No, no, I need you there. I need you there as the buffer. Okay. I need you there as the buffer. So, okay, maybe we invite him. Okay. Yeah. I think it's you, me, your father. I think it's a very late Dinner, traditional dinner At a nice restaurant In Madrid And I will dominate The conversation And I will also Ask my wife for some wisdom about raising children Because I You know, she's the one that knows I'm not even, I can't remember their names right now Stuart Stuart, one is Stuart No, that's Oh, come on.

23:12Even I do. That's Family Guy. Stewie. Stewie. Yeah, that's a family. That's from a cartoon. I'll find out their names. I'm going to be able to give you great advice on raising children. Okay? Okay. I'm delighted to meet you, Alejandra. And I do hope we get to have a meal someday. I want your father there because he's not going to get one word out of his boca. That's mouth. Nice. Edward, that's mouth.

23:44Anyway, Alejandra, very nice to see you. Very nice to meet you. Thank you, guys. You're a very impressive person. Congratulations on all of your achievements. And I hope we cross paths. That would be fun. I hope so. Thank you, guys. Bye to the three of you. Thank you for all the entertainment elapsed. Bye, Alejandra. Bye. Conan O 'Brien Needs a Fan. With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Avsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy Supervising producer Aaron Blair Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm Engineering by Eduardo Perez Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.