Cocoland

0:03Conan O 'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hi, Margaret. Welcome to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Fan. Hi, Margaret. Wow. Hi. I can't believe it. The day is finally here. Yes. I've been thinking about this, too. The day is finally here. What day? What are you talking about? Oh, the day when we talk. The day, yes. The day that I get to meet all of you. Hello. Conan, Matt, Sona. Hi. Good to see you. How are you? I'm so excited. Here's what I know about you. Your name is Margaret. and other than that I don't know much tell us your story Margaret who are you?

0:45What's your deal? What's happening? Oh gosh well I've been a fan of yours for a long time I've watched my gateway drug to Conan was watching your remotes so back in the day when you were in New York and I you know for me I'm not so much interested in the celebrities so much as when you interact with your staff. I think that's the most hilarious. I think that you bring out the funny in everyone. Oh, that's so nice of you to say. And that's I think that's been those are some of my favorite moments, too. Celebrities just get in the way. Let's face it. They do. They do. I'm like, come on. I want to go back to Matt and Sona and, you know, Dr.

1:26Arroyo and everyone else, you know, Jordan Schlansky and Eduardo. That's where we part companies with Jordan Schlansky. But I see kind of what you're saying. And what do you do? What do you do for a living? Well, I'm a designer of theme parks and museums and experiences. So I help to tell the stories in built places and built environments. And one of the big projects that I worked on was the Star Wars themed land, which opened years ago. And yes, I know. You know what, Matt Corley's eyes just turned into those - Margaret, stop flirting with me. There are cherries spinning by. It's like a slot machine.

2:10Eat, ooh, ah, eat, ooh, ah. Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, and now coins are coming out his mouth. You just hit his mental jackpot. What was that? I was, when Bugs Bunny drinks alcohol, he goes, eat, ooh, ah, ooh, eat. You know, you know. I know it. That was obscure. No, I knew exactly what he was talking about. But you're just uneducated and young. Yeah. So, Margaret, this is amazing. You design theme parks. That sounds like a dream job that would be impossible to have. But you have it. Oh, no, please. I mean, it is a dream job. And, you know, when I first went into a Disney theme park was when I was seven years old.

2:52I went to the Tokyo Disneyland. land so I don't speak Japanese but when I went through it it just blew my mind I was like who does this like who actually creates these stories that I couldn't walk into and these worlds that I go into right so going into something like Haunted Mansion for the first time and pirates and like you know it's a small world like all of these things it just blew my little mind up and so So it was kind of my dream, my life journey, you know, to work in theme parks and build other experiences to like museums. I worked in Airbnb. I know you did an Airbnb experience, all of these things.

3:31Right. So this is really it truly is a dream job. I have to, Margaret. And this is a, you know, a moral must. This is a necessity. I must give the floor over to Mr. Matt Gourley because Matt spent years, several years working at a Disney theme park. Is that right? Yeah, I worked there. What do you, what do you, well, come on, this is a proud part of your life. I'm so ashamed. I'm not ashamed. It's just, I just lost a little bit of myself there. That's not true. What are you talking about? Was it when you were a trash can? Okay. Well, let him tell the story. I did plenty of other embarrassing things there.

4:09But you were the voice. Were you in the, there's a talking trash can at Disneyland. Yes. And you were a talking trash can. Does that mean you're in the receptacle or are you? I honestly don't know. I'm asking you real questions. The way it works is it looks like a typical metal trash can with the push flap, you know, but there's only half a trash can in it. And below the lower half is a like fully automated robot. So I'm hidden in the crowd just wearing street clothes and I have a bag over my shoulder. I just look like a creep, you know, and my hands in the bag and I can remote control the trash can.

4:44And I have a secret microphone in my hand. Hands in the bag. I know. One hand's up at my mouth and one hand's in the bag. So if I see this guy, if I see this guy at a bus stop, he's either a pervert or he's operating a Disney trash can. Yeah. So you're either touching yourself or delighting millions with your banter. I just don't know which. Or both. So did your trash can have a personality? Yeah, his name was Push the Talking Trash Can. But there was a certain amount of mandated personality, but I wouldn't usually adhere to that. You're a rebel. I was in this case. I would bump the other trash cans and say like, Sheila, Sheila, why did you divorce me?

5:26And things like that. This was when the management wasn't around. Did you ever get a talking to because you were going off script? I made me once or twice. And I would try to be very savvy about when the managers were there. Or I would chase the kids for their churros. Give me your churro. Give me your churro. And that kind of thing. Right. Yeah. It's just because you get bored of the same old shit. What I would do is have the trash can run around and scream, kill me, kill me. I cannot die. I cannot die. I got close to that. Yeah. That's what I would do. And the kids would kick it all the time.

5:54It was like kind of demoralizing too. Could you talk back to the kids? Yes, I would say, why are you, parents, why are you letting your children kick me? Why are you doing this? Oh, snap. Some of them would stop it and some would just laugh. Right. Did you only play a trash can? I did so many different things. You're a trash can saying, why are you not treating me with respect? Margaret designed Star Wars and you're talking about playing a trash can. Now, okay, but listen. I'm sorry, I don't. It's like we're equating the two. Star Wars is another one of, Star Wars is another one of your loves.

6:27Sure, yeah. And so, Margaret, I'm curious. first of all, you've been to this Star Wars experience, haven't you? Many times, yeah. Okay. It's amazing. And you've been too, as well? Okay. And I didn't get around to it. I go to only presidential museums. We have to change that, Conan. I know you hate theme parks, and I know you have a thing against Disney, and I know that you're not a Star Wars fan. Wait a minute. Did you say I have a thing against Disney? What's your beef? No. I just love, there's a talking trash can at the Harry Truman Museum in Missouri, and I love going there and having conversations.

7:03He's kind of salty. I know that guy. And he's like, I'm from the show me state, you know? And I had to fire MacArthur. And I'm like, take it easy, trash can. So I just have my other interests. But no, I'm not spreading this rumor that I'm anti-Disney. I embrace all corporations.

7:22I think you need to go to more theme parks because it really, you know, you're like me. you're a grown-up child, right? So going to theme parks releases all those inhibitions so you can be whoever you want to be. You don't understand. I act that way at The Gap. Yeah. My inhibitions are released. I went to the eye doctor with Sona and I behaved like a total fool. That's very true. And put on a one-man show for everybody. So I don't need a lot of help getting me into that space. But I do love amusement parks. You do? I do. I think that amusement parks are awesome. And I think it would be really fun if all three of us went and maybe we went for free because Margaret did.

8:01Can you get us in for free? And can I bring my edibles? Oh, you know, oh, my gosh, you're you're bringing in all the things that I want to talk about. And do it. How many people go to theme parks high, do you think? What's the percentage? How many people don't go to theme parks? A lot. Exactly. So that's the thing, because Sona told me that she used to get loaded up on gummies and then go to Disneyland for the day or Six Flags or. what else you went to? Universal. Universal. Knots. And I don't even know why there needed to be a theme park there because I think you could have wandered around. In the state you were in, you could have wandered around a split-level garage and had just as much of a visual experience.

8:41All right. You know what? I'm trying to get us a free trip to Disneyland and you're just harsh on my buzz, bro. Yeah. Sorry to squash your mellow, Longfellow. I think in addition to bringing back Clueless Gamer, you need to have a theme park goer. a clueless theme park goer and just have all three of you go to different theme parks and all over the world all over the world go to all these different theme parks and just let you three loose and do all the things I think that's going to be super entertaining for us to watch would Disney have an issue if we just guerrilla did a podcast we wouldn't carry anything like obtrusive just little lapel mics or something they don't even have a legal team at Disney that's what I've heard They're just very free and easy.

9:28That's what I'm saying, though. It's better to ask forgiveness than permission, I would assume, for something like that, right? Because they've never let us do it. The answer is no. No. Margaret would know. I feel like she would know. Margaret, yeah, you're here. I think it would be a no. I think the moment you walk in with, especially with Conan, they're going to jump on that immediately. They're going to recognize you. I'm like a guy who's passed a bad check in every restaurant in town. If we have hidden mics, they wouldn't know. You know what I mean? Yeah, but now you're talking about it, and I think this is going to go out.

9:57But there's nothing illegal with recording your voice in the podcast. They shot a whole movie there, remember? Well, there's a lot of YouTubers who do it, right? Yeah, exactly. They'll go into any theme park and talk about it, and they're carrying all their GoPros. I've recorded a podcast there. Yeah. Yeah. Because we had that, my wife and I did a Disney podcast about working at theme parks, and we did it, you know, without asking. Yeah, but you can go under the radar pretty easily, I think. Yeah, I know that. I can't because I'm the Sir Lawrence Olivier of comedy. Oh, God. I don't even know how that works.

10:26And it doesn't make any sense.

10:38I have a question. What's your favorite theme park? Oh, well, I mean, I do have to say Disneyland, but I grew up in Singapore. and when I was a little girl, I went to this very unusual amusement park called Haupar Villa and it's not a place that people would know about but it's all about Chinese myths and legends and all this and they would carve these full-size sculptures and dioramas of what they would do to you if you end up going to hell. Wow. This sounds like I have to see this. Don't go high and go there. And pulling out your guts. It's like the anti-small world. It is. It is. It's the inverse of it's a small world.

11:28It's not optimistic. It's not cheerful. It's a cautionary tale. It's a cautionary tale of what could happen to you if you lie and cheat and murder. It's a world of loathing, a world of fear. It's a world of constant pain in your rear. What? Oh, my God. What's that? The Disney lawyer? Don't you get. Yeah. Okay. They don't have our number. We keep moving. I think they have everyone's number. You know, I feel like I'm starting to hear about celebrities making theme parks. Nate Bregazzi was on the podcast not long ago, and he's going to make a theme park that he wants to be very family friendly and fun.

12:08And I think it's going to be in Tennessee, outside Nashville. And it sounded like a great idea. He's taking it very seriously. And he was telling us he's meeting with some people at Disney to get advice. Yeah. And so this is becoming a thing. Is celebrities having. Yeah, Dollywood. Dollywood. Yeah, that's been around for a while. Do you see this as a new trend? It's not. It's not necessarily a trend. I mean, it's been around for a while. I mean, if Walt Disney, you know, did it. Right. Like, why not anyone else? I think I know where this is going. Conanland. So, exactly. Yeah. So, Conanland. Yeah.

12:45Is a thing, Coco Land, however you wanna call it. Well, it sounds like they're already doing it in Singapore. You get on a boat, you go through every stage of hell, and then you come out and you have a prominent eye vein. For you, it's just weird things like sex talk, that's hell for you. Yeah, exactly. Or like, you know, getting a B on a test in high school. Having a conversation with someone where you lock eyes. Oh, being complimented. Yeah, I was just gonna say. Being complimented. if you go through one part where someone says i enjoy your work well i i think that all of you should individually have a ride and i have ideas but i don't want to hear her let's hear it on us okay start with matt so um i think well who should i start with first because I can go...

13:36I'll start with Conan. So I think Conan's ride is a ginger-colored high-speed roller coaster that goes up and down, twists and turns, completely unexpected. And it never ends. We have to have... And it never ends. And there has to be the string dance involved in it somehow. So maybe two coasters... So it shakes erratically at times. Yes. Is it an unsafe ride? It could be. Oh, I see what you're saying. Like the tether clips and you fall like Tower of Terror. And you fall. There's a free fall. Yeah. Right. And it could be great. Yeah. And so I think that that would be a really good one for you. As long as when you get off, your skin is dry.

14:19And you're and you're questioning some of your decisions in life. That's the only thing I want people to I don't want them to have that rush of endorphins when they get off. I want them to just sort of feel queasy. Dry skin, again, prominent eye vein, and just worried, worried about past choices. Let's move on to Sona. Sona, what's your ride going to be? Okay. So, Sona, I'm envisioning like a lazy river boat ride. You had me at lazy. So, you're going to eat every visitor who steps in, they get a gummy. Yes. They go on the ride. They get a gummy and then you're gonna have plush seating on this like gondola type of ride.

15:06And you're going through all of the scenes, all of your biggest dreams. So everything from like scenes of like Magic Mike, you know, just going there and just like music, beautiful music and all of your favorite shows, all your reality shows coming to life around you. This is great. Oh, and there's a bucket of like hummus and chips. No, but you love hummus. I do. You had it yesterday. Why do you keep bringing it up? Because I just see, I picture. Margaret's talking about magic mic. No, but on the, and if you're loaded up on gummies, you're sitting there, there's a bucket of hummus. That's so nice.

15:40And you have, doesn't it sound good? Yeah, it does sound good. And a really good bread. And you're just, hush. It's hush. I know. I love my ride. Keep going. There's more? Well, maybe. And it could be that, you know, you exit through a gift shop and there you could have the hummus and all of that stuff too and then come back and come back on the ride you know so it's it's however you want it to be right like and that's kind of like your way i feel like it's like you know what i'm just gonna do this right now i'm not gonna do that right now right and maybe every once once in a while we'll hear conan and the speaker being like sona sona i need this right you know whatever but then you ignore it You just ignore it.

16:23Go with the flow. Literally go with the flow. There's a sort of robotic cone and it pops out every now and then and starts to say, I need your assistance with, and then you can just push it aside. And it goes to the click. And melts away. Right? Yes. I love that. You have like a little wand and you can just do a flick of your wand and I disappear. Okay, Gourley, I gotta hear Gourley. This is awesome. All right. So, girly, I'm thinking it has to be a dark ride. And when we say dark ride, it's a fully enclosed indoor ride. And I'm thinking like an Omnimover, like Haunted Mansion. Okay. So, an Omnimover is constantly flowing, very smooth.

17:07And instead of the dune buggy, it'll be like a really plush leather holstered armchair. I love this. And when you get in, you have a whiskey or a cocktail in hand. Oh, my God. This is great. And as you go in, it's kind of mid-century retro. You'll hear vinyl records, the scratchy sound. You'll hear your voice, Gourley, in the speakers. And you're taking everyone on this very calm and smooth journey through a thrilling ride of what your imagination and your dreams are, too. So maybe it's going through a flea market. And maybe... You've incepted into her your version of me. Yes, I have. That is not.

17:50Yeah. Everyone's wearing tweed. I know. You get a tweed jacket. Oh my God. I love it. I love it. You're just, you're coasting along and you're in like an Eames chair, like a mid-century chair. That's right. And all the architecture of the ride is very craftsman, right? It's just Pasadena craftsman. Exactly. It's nice. This is a great ride. And I love the cocktail idea. And just every rider gets a cat on their lap. Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes, yes. And I love the idea. I love this. My only request, Margaret, is that all three rides collide at the end. Oh, my God. So the Conan ride smashes into the Gourley, smashes into the Sona.

18:28They all smash into the same place and there's some injuries every time. And that's the podcast. That's, yeah, exactly. But we wanted to have a happy ending. And once you crash and collide, you step out and then you have a nice s'mores, chill chums moment. Oh, God, she's very good. Margaret, you're very good. You're very good. I love it. You're all sitting down and there's a bonfire and you're all roasting marshmallows and just meeting all your guests too, right? And there you can really be a true friend and fan. Well, greenlit. Greenlit. I say, Margaret, first of all, delightful talking to you.

19:08I love this idea. I will take care of the money. I will get us the money. I can raise this money. And by that, I mean, I will never make one phone call. I won't do anything. But this is a very cool, it's a cool idea. I like it. And you're a very impressive person and very cool to have you as a fan. I just love that you get to do this for a living and you're clearly amazing at it. And you know what? I think Sona's right. I think you should use your pull to get the three of us, you know, some, I don't know, some free tickets to these. Yeah. I have one last question for you, Margaret. Are you a blue milk or a green milk girl?

19:44Oh, you know what? But I do have to say more green milk. Me too. Oh, good. Yeah, it tastes like Fruity Pebbles, Conan. You'd like that. I am proud that I don't know what you're talking about. Well, and if we do go to Disneyland, I meant I want Margaret to come with us. Yes, you'd come with us, Margaret. Not just get us tickets, but to come with us. No, no, that's implied. You would come with us. And maybe if you came with us, we wouldn't need tickets because you'd be the person to know. Yeah. I would love that. I would love to bring you guys. Yes. And I want one of the Hall of Presidents presidents to join us.

20:18Maybe Reagan. Whale, whale, whale. Beep, beep, beep. Whale, whale, whale. It would come with us. Beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep. Whale. And it's just Reagan saying beep, beep, boop, boop. Whale, whale, beep, beep. Boop, boop. Whale, whale. It's time to start dropping bombs on Russia. Beep, beep. Boop, boop. All right, Margaret, delightful talking to you, really. Thank you so much. Yes, thank you so much. Can I show you one other thing, though? Go ahead. Yay! I have a picture of us together. It's a picture. When was that taken? So this was a few years ago. I snuck into your house. Looks like I came into your house at four in the morning.

20:54Why did she sleep in that photo? I know, I know. You were in Firefly Bistro in Studio City. And I saw you walk in. I literally saw you walk in with a man. I'm allowed to hang out with men. Who's this mysterious beau? No one questioned it and then you made it suspicious. She said you walked in with a man. My private life is my private life. You're like, okay. My wife listens to this podcast and she can't know that I went to a restaurant with a man.

21:26I waited for you to finish your dinner. And I, you know, I've never asked anyone to take a selfie with me, any celebrity, nothing like that. And my friend saw that I was visibly like, oh my gosh, it's Conan, blah, blah, blah. And she, we saw you leave. She grabbed my arm and she's like, we're taking a picture of Conan. And so we ran after you. You were waiting for your car in the valet. And I came up to you and said, Conan, I'm a huge fan. I'd like to take a picture with you. And you were very nice. Oh, good. I think that's, I like to be nice to people if I can. How much did I ask? Excuse us. You like to what?

22:04To strangers. What's that? Yeah, to strangers. I'm very nice. Or to whoever this man is.

22:13Bartholomew? I don't want his name on your lips. Yeah, yes. Now, once you get to know me, Margaret, your life will be a hell. But when you're a stranger, I couldn't be more pleasing. So I'm glad. I'm glad we had that moment and we'll have another one because I make repeat appearances all over the world. Yes. Yes, I hope to see you again and I'll bring all three of you to Disneyland. Very good. Great. Thanks a lot, Margaret. Bye-bye. Thank you. Bye. Conan O 'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Avsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow.

22:53Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down.