Conan Vs. Edibles Part II

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0:42Ever invest in something that seemed incredible at first, but didn't live up to the hype? Yeah, like all the time. Yeah, I did that with an all-potato restaurant. Oh, no. marketers know that feeling they optimize for the numbers that look great like impressions but then they don't see revenue you know what i'm talking about oh yeah all the time yeah linkedin has a word for that bull spend yeah instead you can get the highest roas of major ad networks with linkedin ads cut the bull spend advertise on linkedin spend 250 and get a 250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.com slash Conan. Terms apply.

1:27Conan O 'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit TeamCoco.com slash Call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hello, Conan O 'Brien here. Normally, this would be a fan interaction of some kind. This is the drop. I call it the drop. Where, you know, I talk to somebody in the world, And those are fun. Today, we're going to do a little something different. And this is called fan service. I know my fans are anxiously awaiting word on my gummy situation. Now, let's recap for anyone who didn't hear that and doesn't know the situation. Not long ago, Sona, you got me some gummies. Sure did. And they're lovely looking.

2:13It's these canisters that are just gorgeous. Yeah. And they're gummies. You got me all kinds of gummies for all kinds of occasions. Yes. Isn't that true? Yes, I did. What were some of the gummies? Refresh my mind. Some of them were to, you know, liven you up, maybe put some pep in your step. Yep. They're all, I'm going to say they're all Camino brand. They have not sent us anything yet. It's probably in the mail. It better be. Maybe. Because I just said it again. Also, maybe they're on brand and they're taking their time. They can't get off the couch. Like they're all stoners there. It's a fun little riff.

2:48Okay. Well, if you say so. Yeah, pretty funny. Anyway. You have to say that your riff is funny. Yeah, bro. We didn't send those. I forget, man. Now they're never sending you anything. I sent ones for sleep. They all different flavors. You know, I gave you a bunch thinking that it could help you. You gave me a bunch and I was excited. I was looking at them all and I thought this could really change my life. Maybe, you know, a lifetime, a lifetime of being on it. you can fill in the blanks here type A gotta follow the rules follow the rules L7 weenie I don't know what when you go I gotta do make up all the rules I can't do anything I can't stop frown upon that's how I that's my impression of you it's like oh gosh guys don't do that guys guys it can fry your brain cells everybody Yeah.

3:46So. You were just, you're a straight lace. I'm a straight lace. I think that's fair to say. Yeah. It's not a bad thing. Well, after what you just did, after that whole run, I think it's a terrible thing. It's not bad being a cyborg sent from the future to destroy humankind. Yeah. So I need to come clean. People are probably, we think fans are saying, oh my God, Conan got these gummies. What happened? Because he promised he was going to go off and do them. And this is the hilarious part. It's now been, I think, two weeks. Yeah, it's been a minute. Yeah, it's been a minute. Well, I just said two weeks.

4:20So I don't know why you're ahead of it. It is a cooler way to say it, I think. All right, yeah. Well, I'm not factual.

4:28Two weeks is the appropriate time span. All right, here's the update. And I think this is going to have to be a work in progress. And I have turned taking gummies into a chore. I have turned taking gummies into a I'll get to it. I just have to slot it in. I know. That's what I've done with gummies. And apparently the best gummies one can get. Camino. Yes. Yes. He, me and they mentioned this, man. Cheech and Chong work there. Yeah, they do.

5:04So I'll come clean. I have nibbled on the corner of the sleep one. Nibbled on the corner. Literally, I want to say less than half. First of all, they're delicious. They are. They are really, they taste great. And I think paired with the right wine, fantastic. Okay. So anyway, I had, I want to say maybe I had a quarter. I'm like, that's a little quarter of one. We'll get to you, Eduardo. Eduardo basically. Eduardo looks so disappointed. Eduardo famously called me a little bitch on the podcast because he heard me being squeamish about taking my gummy. And so anyway, you're being proven right, Eduardo.

5:54Because what I've managed to do in two weeks is I think on two occasions nibbled on maybe a quarter of one. and it looks like a very tiny mouse got it one. That's what it looks like. I mean, the smallest mouse that ever, a mouse embryo lived long enough to nibble on the corner of a sleep gummy. And I'm a redhead, so I'm very tolerant. So of course I've felt nothing so far and that's nothing on Camino, big supporter. He man, thanks man. But, you know, I haven't gone whole hog. Now, there's another one that gets you. It's called exhilarate. It's called like, no, there's one called chill. Oh, yeah.

6:35Chill. I don't need to be exhilarated because let's face it. I was born kind of leaning into life. Not fair. Yeah. And I don't need that. I don't need to be sped up. Chill is the one that interested me. I have not tried one yet. And I'll look at it and I'll go, well, try and get to that tonight. I don't know. Yeah, go ahead. when you said that you're treating it like a chore, I did, I think we were on the phone on Friday. David was there. And I begged you to take them to try it over the weekend. And you were like kind of groan. Because Adam is like, we need this. The fans need to, Adam is always wielding his whip.

7:14And Adam is like, you need to get to this. This needs to be a segment. And the fans are waiting. And you're about to leave for your next travel show. And you'll be gone for two weeks. And I started going, okay. hey, so I've got a guy on the phone nagging me and he could have been someone from the IRS saying, do you got to file your return on the 15th? And I'm going, I'll get to it. I just haven't had it. I've got to go find a shoebox of receipts. That is my attitude about taking a gummy. Where does this come from? Is this something like you want us to put in your calendar? Like take gummy? I think you have to.

7:49Okay. Beep, beep, beep, put it in my calendar. Gleep, bleep, glurp, glurp. so I'm a side is that it? I'm like R2-D2 I think you're just you're overthinking it look if you don't want to do it that's fine we're not peer pressuring you are we peer pressuring you? that's the dictionary definition of what you're doing you are Eduardo called you a little bitch you are my peers and you are exerting enormous Eduardo called me a little bitch that was just an observation that wasn't peer pressure that wasn't just an observation between your little bitch, Adam calling me anxiously and saying, we got to get on this.

8:29Yeah, I guess I'm feeling a little bit of pressure, but I'm going to, I'm going to do it. I'm just, if we could be real here for a second, I come from, you know, as you know, my dad, a doctor. And he, I mean, I just grew up. he was against us taking anything. I mean, you know, aspirin was like a big leap. Do you know what I mean? And so that's why that's probably. I bet he was high all the time. My dad? I don't know. Yeah, he was. You know, my dad was, you know, my dad was Jamaican. He was Jamaican. He was in a ska group in the 50s. He was. Knowing your dad just makes that so much fun. My dad was in a very good ska band in Jamaica.

9:20And then he emigrated to Boston in the late 50s. And his stage name was O 'Brien. And then he cut his hair and became a, you know, microbiologist at Brigham Women's Hospital in Boston. Well, I think your dad would have been more on board with you, you know, taking an edible than doing like taking an antibiotic, for instance. So I think he would have been on board with a little bit. He would have been okay with the correct antibiotic. My dad was a, you know, leading authority on antibiotic resistance. This is the stuff the fans really want to hear about. After his ska band. Yeah. Well, his, I'm sorry, his ska band was antibiotic resistance.

10:07And it was a name that really was unpopular in Jamaica. And Jimmy Cliff was telling him, you got to change that. And he was like, hey, man, you know, it's a whole thing. I mean, so anyway, he he would have been in favor. He was in favor of antibiotics. This is OK. My dad was not like an RFK junior. He was in favor of the right, correct antibiotic. He just didn't like it when people took the shotgun approach to antibiotics, which is a major problem and has caused a lot of resistant bacteria and been a huge issue. And I bring that up in my dad's memory. And I think he was correct. Obviously he was correct.

10:45But anyway, getting back to the fun part, I think that, no, my dad would have been like, what? You don't take something that, you want to relax? That's what he would have said. You want to relax? You want to not be on guard for a second? What are you talking about? So that's the culture I come from. You know, we've got to go to Catholic church. We've got to stay on it. And that's been my way. Okay. But I think it's only because you've expressed some interest in it. That's why we think it'll be nice for you to just do a little dabble. But can I just say that? Again, no peer pressure. But do it.

11:25Listen, I'm also intrigued by the thought of an orgy. I mean, there's a lot of things that intrigue me, but I don't think I'll try it. Am I intrigued by the idea of there being nine naked bodies? All of us rolling around on a massive bed. You know, and there's the ladies, but there's also the fellas and things are flipping and flopping. You know, sure. Sure. Am I curious? Yeah. Have I made several appointments sometimes? Yes, I have.

12:11Well, Father's Day is coming up. Hint, hint. June 21st. Wow. We're not your children. What? My children are not getting me anything. So it's up to you guys to get me Father's Day. They have never bought into Father's Day, but you guys are going to. You're my employees and you have to. Well, guess what? Luckily, Macy's has a wide range of options. The expertise to help you find the perfect gift. Macy's is the answer for Father's Day. David. as my sort of surrogate son. Okay, aw, that's nice. The son that I hired to buy me things. I hope that you're prepared for this Father's Day and I hope you've consulted Macy's.

12:54Oh, I sure, I have done both of those things. First. Oh, there you go. You love a pun. We got you a shirt that says The Grillfather. I love that shirt because you know what? I love the Godfather movies and I love grilling and they've combined them with The Grillfather. And are you ready to combine it even more? Let's see the next gift. Ooh. A ninja indoor grill. That's just something that looks really good. It does. And then, you know, sometimes when you're grilling, you know, you might want to get rid of that scent, that smell. So we got you some Dior cologne. Oh, is that Sauvage? It's Sauvage.

13:25Oh, my God. I love Sauvage. And I love that it does mask the scent of charred meat really well. Yeah. So happy Father's Day from us at Macy's. You know what? I want to say thank you. Those are cool gifts. I love it. Check out Macy's online gift guide for more ideas at macy's.com slash gift guide.

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16:20If you grow up Catholic the way I did, there are all these things, the notion of it titillates you. I just said titillate. The saying titillate intrigued me for a long time, and I just said it for the first time. things excite you, but you, oh God, you know, it's forbidden fruit. You don't go there. So for me, that's the chill gummy. Now, I think I made a big step by eating a quarter of a sleep gummy. That is true. And, um, and you felt nothing. Well, uh, yeah, I have to say, and that's not on the gummy brand at all. That's on me. I'm six, four, you know, 193 pounds of pure beef. I'm also a redhead, so...

17:00Pure beef? Well, I'm sorry. I am. Oh, okay, okay. Very muscular. Yeah, uh-huh. And people are surprised when they, you know... You are in great shape. Thank you very much. And that's why I thought, you know, maybe half or even a full five milligram would be good for you. I'm not ready to do that yet. That's okay. Baby steps. Also, I'm always operating heavy machinery. That's a regular part of my life. I bought a forklift about a year ago. and one of my ways of relaxing is just driving it around the neighborhood and lifting things and storing them in a warehouse. So, you know, you can't. You can't take medication or gummies before you operate the forklift.

17:36Yeah. But no, I'm going to get to it. I promise. But I think it's, this is unintentional. It sounds like a bit, but it really isn't. You gave me gummies. I was excited and I've turned it into something I need. I need to carve out time for that, which is so hilarious. It is really funny the way you're overthinking it. Well, can I just ask a question, which is... You're doing it right now. Let's go. Which is, you've had beer and wine and alcohol, and it wears off. I mean, this is the same thing. It's not like you're going to take a gummy and then forever you're going to be... Okay, let me address that issue.

18:13I know exactly what you're saying, and I think it's a fair point. I really don't, you know, I try not to drink a lot these days. and but yeah, I've been in an altered state and boy am I funny. I'm really funny when I've had a few. But, I mean God, it's like whole next level. And if you think this was good we should do a thing where Conan has a couple glasses of wine and then people are, but you know what, it's going to be like Oppenheimer seeing the big light. People can't handle it. They're going to have to put on No seriously, we're going to have to tell people who listen to the pod, Conan's going to have a couple glasses of wine.

18:49Everyone needs to get into some kind of a shelter. You can watch through a little slit. You have to have glasses made of lead because it's going to be that kind of thing. And then Sirius is going to call and go, you know, our whole system is down because of the energy you emitted with your comedic ray. I'd be like, oh, fuck, what are we going to do now? So any hoots, be that as it may. Yeah, that is a true thing. I think I grew up in that era where, I mean, I grew up in a dry house. My parents didn't drink. There was no liquor in the house. There was nothing. So I took a brave step by having some red wine.

19:25You know, I didn't. So that was my big excursion into the wilderness. Then, but then you add gummies, marijuana. And it's, it's, what's that? Yes. You add, I'm glad you're here. No one adds to a story like you. I'm the ham and you just dropped one little clove into it. I come from that era where if some, I remember my uncle Gavin calling them like jazz cigarettes. Oh, geez. My uncle Gavin came to Saturday Night Live and he came to a taping of Saturday Night Live. And afterwards, he was amazed. He saw it live. He got to sit on the floor right in front of where they do the monologue. And he saw G.E.

20:08Smith and the band play. And he came out afterwards. And I remember Bob Odenkirk and I were standing there and he went, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, that band. And tell me that guitarist doesn't have a jazz cigarette jammed down his bootleg. Oh, my God. That's the era I come from. You're going to the Netherlands. You're going to the weed capital of the world. Yeah, but that doesn't hold any water anymore because I think L.A. is the weed capital of the world. I mean, it's legal. Well, they have cafes there. It's a big part of, you know, why a lot of tourists go there. So are you not going to partake at all?

20:42You know who's coming on this trip, who never comes on trips? Who? My wife. Liza's coming. Hey, Liza. Yeah, but she, you know, if I say, hey, let's hit a cafe and I'll have some wacky tabacky in my boba tea, she's going to say, you will not. You know? I don't know. I think she'd be into it. No, she's not a Bobby McFerrin, you know? She's not a. What? She's not a don't worry, be happy person. Oh, okay, okay. She's a, you better toe the line, see? And I'm like, yes, dear. No, dear. Yes, dear. No, dear. So, and trust me, that is the most spot on impression of my wife. Absolutely not. Now you listen to me.

21:24You think you're going to relax and have fun? Not on my watch. Yes, dear. No, dear. Yes, dear. No, dear. How dare you? Yeah, it's so insane. I know. I won't take this Liza Blast. She is the mother of my children. She is an angel. And I just totally portrayed her. You did. But maybe there's a grain of truth. Who knows? I don't think she's going to be the one saying, hey, you better go get fucked up. That's not Liza either. So look, if it was me going on this trip, Sans, my wife, and Jeff Ross is there going, hey, let's go. Let's get fucked up. Jeff's going to have the best time on this trip. Yeah, well, Blaze, too.

22:05Blaze, you're going to enjoy it. We're going to have some fun. Yeah, well, okay. Well, you get fucked up in most places we go. Oh, snappity-dappity. Yeah, yeah. Even places where he shouldn't be. He manages to have a good time. That's not the point. The point is, I love to say that's not the point. The point is, even when no one's disagreeing with me. I love it. It's one of my favorite things. But that's not the point. The point is, wait, Conan, you're the only one talking. Who are you talking back to? This is why you need a gummy. You just proved it. This is what it's like inside your mind. Yeah, this stops.

22:34You just sit. You'll just sit. It's okay. Look, on your own time, don't feel like you have to, but you should. Oh, no. Conan? I did this on Kimmel. People loved it. Where I froze my face. Yeah. It's good for an audio medium. Yeah. Everyone listening. Oh my God. Yeah. So I'll get to it. I'll get to the gummy. But you know, that whole thing of, hey, Amsterdam. I don't think that holds water anymore. Because literally the streetlights here in Los Angeles are made of marijuana. That's true. You know, tightly packed, woven marijuana. I partake from time to time.

23:20If you miss a day, come on, be honest. No, there are some days where I can't. Okay, that's very different from I partake from... Hey, occasionally there's a moment when I can't. It's very different from I partake from time to time. From time to time I partake. But if I ever went to Amsterdam, I would definitely enjoy doing it. You take gummies the way a person with terrible diabetes takes insulin. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Constantly. What are you talking about? You inject yourself with gummy. Liquid gummy. I'm not a total. I don't wake and bake. I'm not a total potted. I have children I have to take care of.

24:03That's true. But at the end of the day, after a long day, yeah. Sure. I'm chill. I take that. Is it called gum it up? What's the cool way to say take a gummy? I don't know, but I don't think it's gum it up. I don't know what it is. What do you ride the gum train? What do you do? Yeah, I ride the gum train. This is, you know what? This, it'll help you with all of this. And I think. Do we want to help me? That's the other thing. I'm going to propose something. What if I take the chill when I really like it? And I take a little more and I really like it. And suddenly I come in here. I don't have any of my psychic wounds.

24:34I don't have any of my old neural grooves I don't have my weird spasms and my flights of fancy based on neurotic madness and then suddenly all of this ends oh all of this ends I mean I'm gonna come in and I'm like hi Sona how are you what but are you okay are you talking to me with respect yeah oh my god oh I hate this what are you talking about this is nice are you okay I'm doing really how are you how are you i'm very well thank you oh good how are you like you're lowering your no but how are you david i'm scared no this is the new conan i just had some chill and um blaze raising his hand i was going to talk about well i guess just the news today i guess a lot going on on the news so let's discuss that yes what's up that's never going to happen and i i would i would also say hey how are you no and you know what i welcome you on mic i'm going to tell you that's definitely not gonna happen my favorite quote i've said this before on the podcast my favorite quote of yours you ever said was we were on a flight going on an international trip it's in the middle of the night and i was up reading and you come back to my uh seat you're like hey how's it going i'm like hey man what's up and you're like uh good i'm like uh you should get some sleep we have to shoot as soon as we get off the plane you're like i took an ambient and it was like throwing a tic-tac into the sun yeah and so let me tell you i burn through meds The gummies are not going to do anything.

25:56When meds meet my system, they just go, you know, except pro-for-fall, which is why I get a colonoscopy every week. I tell them, don't even put a camera back there. I said, don't just sketch from memory. You don't need a camera. But, you know, I'm always in there. And sometimes I get a colonoscopy and then I sit out there and then I come back in and I put a mustache on and say, I say, Mr. Jones. And then I put a mustache on my bare ass so it looks like someone else's ass. And they go like, I go like, that's, and this is my ass, Mr. Jones's ass. And then I have my ass go, hello, I've never had a colonoscopy.