Goofy Goo

0:03Conan O 'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, Let's get started. Hi, Steven. Welcome to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Fan. Hey man, how are you? Doing well, how are you? I'm good, I like you already, Steven. You're giggling. We haven't said anything. You just seem like a happy guy. Thanks, yeah, I'm pretty happy. Most of the time. I mean, you know. Yeah, everyone has their up days and down days, but you seem like a pretty, I'm gonna use the term happy chappy. What does that even mean, Conan? You seem like you got a big smile on your face. The sun is always at your back.

0:45What? I don't know. That's not right. Steven, I came in today. At your back? I don't know. I'm just, tell me a little bit about yourself. I'll try and be a little more normal. I got a case of the goofies today. Yeah, apparently. You know, and I'm just covered in, you know, goofy goo, and I don't know what to do. Oh God. But Steven, help me a little bit about yourself. Let's make it about you and then back to me and then we'll stick on me. Yeah, cool. Steven, your name is Steven and where are you coming from, sir? I'm in Silver City, New Mexico. Oh, Silver City, New Mexico. Okay, very cool. Yeah, yeah.

1:21I love New Mexico. I think that's an amazing place. I love that whole area of the United States. Absolutely gorgeous. Oh yeah, it's the foothills of the Gila wilderness here. Yeah, I grew up in Boston and Massachusetts and when I got out to the real Southwest for the first time as a young man in my early 20s, it blew my mind. I just saw a whole different world and felt liberated. So that was pretty cool. I can relate to this. I moved here from Washington State about two years ago. Oh, where in Washington State are you from? Marysville, Arlington area, north of Seattle. Okay, my wife's from Seattle.

1:56My wife's from Seattle, yeah. Don't you call her Liza. No, sorry. You're to call her Dame O 'Brien. Dame O 'Brien. Dame O 'Brien. So Dame O 'Brien married someone covered in goofy goo? In goofy goo. Okay. She took a real step down. I see. Yeah, her father, the Archduke, said this is a terrible mistake. So you're from Silver City, New Mexico, and what do you do, Steven? I'm an astrologer and a jeweler. Astrologer and jeweler. Are those two separate things, or in your opinion, do you meld the two in your jewel making? Yeah, I absolutely meld the two. I make talisman jewelry, so I do bespoke custom pieces for people based on their astrology.

2:38Wow. That's cool. So I guess you interview people first. You ask them a bunch of questions. You learn about them, and then you try and make a piece. Maybe you work with them and make a piece that fits their spiritual vibe. Yeah. I mean, yeah, spiritual vibe, I guess you could say that. Well, no, why don't you use your terminology? Again, I'm covered in goofy goose. yeah i don't trust your terminology at all yeah yeah it starts with an astrology reading and so i do a birth chart reading with somebody we go over what their you know their intentions are in this lifetime which is what i see the astrology chart can help us see and then through that reading learn about them and then you know we all have our strengths weaknesses things like that and and with working with the stones and the metals i can collaborate with that and create something that helps them really live what they want to live in this life.

3:33That's neat. So clearly you're a very spiritual person. Yeah, yeah, I would say so. I would, I definitely would say so. All right, talk to us for a second. Are there other jewelers in town that do the same kind of thing, you know, that you're competing with? No, there's other jewelers who do this kind of thing, but not in town. Actually, I'm the only jeweler with a shop here in Silver City. That's fantastic. So when people come into your shop, you can say to them, hey, what are you gonna do? Go somewhere else? I don't think so. Anomaly. You should be, if I were you, I'd be, if I had the only jewelry shop in town, I'd be an incredible dick about it.

4:12Yeah, you would. I would. I know. You would. Hey, hey, hey! Just the second they walk you, what are you gonna do? You gonna walk away? I don't think so. You make the shittiest jewelry and it's like, you got no other choice. Yeah, this is a paper clip. by hammering it into one bent piece. It's$6 ,000. What are you going to do? Stephen, don't listen to any of my advice. I'm a terrible person. Thank you. I'm a terrible person. Knowing what you know about Conan, what kind of jewelry would you make for him? Well, Conan's an Aries. He's got Virgo rising. You know, I was actually looking at your chart, Conan, because you can look online and find people's birth info.

4:51Yeah, no, I know. It's all on the internet. and Conan O 'Brien, April 18th, 1986. So it's all there. 1986, you said? Yeah, very young. Anyway, the moon is it. Oh, wait, just smacked that in there. That's it. Sleeping heavenly peace. I'm putting this on a seat. Sleeping heavenly. Virgo rising, what can you tell me about myself? Well, so one of the interesting things I saw on your chart is you have Saturn-Moon conjunction in your sixth house. Yeah, that's obvious the second you see him. Yeah, it's so obvious. Well, the thing that's obvious about it is, you know, you talk a lot about your self-esteem and self-worth and how hypercritical you are of yourself.

5:34I've heard you say this. Yeah, and this is one of the things that that conjunction in your sixth house would speak to. Also, a rising super analytical person in general. So that's interesting. This is one of the things. It's all confirmed by, obviously, if you listen to the podcast at all or aware of me just in general, and then you read the charts, it feels like it pretty much lines up, yes? Yeah, yeah. A lot of things. Really interesting. I mean, your comedy. I mean, you're in Aries. Aries are impulsive. It totally makes sense for you as far as the comedy you do, the weird shit you do. Yeah.

6:10I don't know that I'd call it weird shit. It is weird. I think innovative, groundbreaking. Really weird shit. Iconic. Anyway. It extends past your comedy, your weird shit too. Yeah, it's true, yeah. My doctor says my shit is weird too. It's literally weird. It's blue. Aw, man. Little marshmallows in it. Anyway, that's not the point. So, Steven, please, you brought up, please, let's get off of poop. I don't know who brought that up, and that was probably Sona. Aw, it wasn't me this time. This time. Anyway, yes, this is, because I'd be interested maybe in, you know, you seem like a very creative person.

6:51I bet you're very good at what you do. What kind of piece do you think, based on what you know, if I had walked into your shop and was interested, what are the ideas that you would have for the piece that you would make for me? I mean, definitely stuff around the self-worth. I mean, adding stones like mahogany obsidian, it's a grounding stone, Saturn-related as well. So it's something that could help you bring out your self-worth rotolite garnet would also be something in there incorporated in it uh tanzanite might also be a good stone it's it's good for self-esteem also connecting the the head and the heart uh and so that those kinds of themes probably something in gold too uh just to kind of like it's a masculine metal right and so bringing out that that masculinity i don't know if you actually need that but you know yeah i like it but yeah i could use it He needs, yeah, these guys both need a lot of gold.

7:42Gourley, you could use it too. I need, Gourley and I both need a massive injections of masculinity. So much gold. How much gold can I get? Yeah.

7:55And can it spell out something masculine? And will that masculine gold clash with my sweater? Yeah. My dainty shawl neck sweater. I love that you know the name of it. It's a shawl neck. It must go with my shawl neck. I want to increase my masculinity, but it can't clash with my shawl neck.

8:24Steven, what would this piece look like? You know? What would this piece look like? Would it be, I mean, it sounds almost like you're talking about, are you talking about something I'd wear around my neck? Are you talking about, what are you thinking? Yeah, I'm thinking something around your neck. I mean, I want it to be like Flava Flav, you know, some huge piece, right? I do want it to be, I want it to be a clock because I know what time it is. Yeah. Well, that's Saturn rules time. No, okay. No, we don't want to go to the Flavor Flav route as much as I admire him. So you're thinking maybe something, and would these be like little beads made of those materials?

9:03Oh, no, no. They'd be stone set. I mean, this is more of a flavor piece, but this is a giant piece of turkey. Oh my God, look at that. Whoa, nap. Can't wear that swimming, that's for sure. No, probably not. That is, I mean, it's beautiful. It's gorgeous. Yeah. It looks like something Bea Arthur would have worn late in life before her back gave out. But I'm thinking something smaller and more subtle like what I'm wearing here. That's very cool. That's very cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would commission something from you. and what I'm interested in is, I really want it to represent the podcast. So I'm thinking a piece that represents me and then two large, heavy stones weighing me down like an albatross, you know, to whatever, like my piece is trying to take flight and these two heavy, dense pieces of cement.

9:53Really? Nothing valuable, cement are just dragging me down, keeping this bird from taking wing and soaring. I see it as like cow dung with two diamonds in it. See, I see it as two big testicles and a small chode. Wait, who's you here? He's the chode and we're the big balls. But wait, don't you want to pick something feminine for yourself? No, I want to be a testicle. I want to be balls. Trust me, you can be. There are many days where you come in and you are just a, I'm like, wow, she's a testicle today. You're a chode. It's there, but we're there. You know? Okay, well I don't like that you made mine small.

10:34It's small and fat, it's chode. Okay, this is just not an accurate representation. I've often said my penis is me. It's very long, thin, and filled with worry. Constantly, and it has little, it's got sharp little cheekbones. We don't know what the fuck that's all about. Can you do that, Stephen? Yeah, sure, that sounds great. it. Steven, I do think your stuff is fantastic. I'd be interested to see the different shapes that you come up with. It's very cool. Yeah, I do a lot of celestial designs as well, like things that kind of are symbolic of the stars or other things, whatever symbolism comes through in the piece as well.

11:17I mean, and that's part of the process is after we have a reading, then I sit with it and then really inspiration comes through at some point. I see something that makes me think, oh, this would be great for Conan's piece or some kind of download like that. I think anything that would be grounding and as you say, would reign me in a little bit and calm me down would be great. And these are all things I've tried through pharmaceuticals but with limited success, some success, I wanna point out, I'm a believer in that, it does work. But yeah, maybe you've got the right idea. I'm a big believer that we don't know everything.

11:59There's a lot we don't know. And so I'm not a cynic about what you're talking about. I think anything's possible. Well, they've been doing it for thousands of years. I mean, I'm not the first person to make intentional objects like this. No, of course not. Even the founding fathers, you know? Yeah, right. The founding fathers, yes. I didn't realize they were really into jewelry. And a lot of the paintings, they probably painted it out of a lot of the paintings that they're wearing giant medallions that say swinging dick on them. Oh shit. Which one had that? Come on, Jefferson. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and Franklin had a giant medallion that said, back that shit up.

12:41But it was in French, because he was always in France, trying to get some French lady to back that shit up. And they had to paint over it. Just such a drag. Washington just had gold teeth in his wooden grill. Yeah, it was sad. He tried to just get fancy with his teeth, which was very sad. And it said, chew thoroughly. That's what his, he's such a sour quuss. Anyway, this is all stuff that's historically accurate. You can check it out. Oh, okay, good, I'll Google it. I'm impressed, I really am. I think Steven's onto something. Do you have a question for Conan, Steven? Yeah, do you believe objects have power?

13:19I do. I have to say that I think objects have power to the degree that this I'm answering this seriously. I think the human mind is really powerful. I think there's a lot we don't understand. And I think that objects in and of themselves might not have power. But if you if if you are investing them with power, if you're trying to connect with them, If you believe something soothes you, it will soothe you. So I think there's some kind of connection there. I'm not sure. And like I say, I don't know. In general, I'm wary of stuff. Like any human being, I love stuff. But I'm also very wary of it, that kind of idea that it can weigh you down in this life.

14:13And you want to be unencumbered from it. And that's that constant yin-yang battle between, I wanna get rid of my stuff, and gee, I'd like to have more stuff. I think that's 95 % of the human condition. Anyway, in this part of Los Angeles it is. So, I don't know. I'm intrigued by everything you're talking about. And do I know for a fact that, you know, when some of the elements that you brought up would have a difference? I don't know, but why not? Why wouldn't they? Why not give it a shot? That's my thought. Why not? I mean, it's intention, right? Yeah, and they're beautiful. And we're here for a short time.

14:55And then it's something you can pass on to somebody else. And it tells you something about them. So if I pass this on, I'm sure my kids would probably look at it and say, what can we get for this? And put it on eBay. Probably hawk it.

15:16The moment you're gone, they're just gonna take everything that you held valuable and just sell it on you. Including letters that say, I love you. You mean so much to me. I'm so proud of you. You're the best son I ever have. Oh, isn't that nice? Can I sell this? Well, it doesn't have much market value. Shredder. Gee, that letter was, you could have just folded it up and put it in your desk drawer. Takes up space. Really, a folded note? Aw. Yeah, well, they're practical. Yeah. So yeah, no, I think so, I do. I like what you're doing. I appreciate it, I think it's really cool. And I'm, you know, part of me wants to move to your street and set up a rival jewel across the street.

16:05Of course. Just so you have competition. Of course. And like slash all my prices, but the stuff is just shit. Yeah. but I'm just practically giving it away. And then I go by your place and make a lot of noise with a cowbell. And just be, I don't know, it's bringing out this kind of side of me that just wants to do that. But then again, if I was wearing your jewelry, I wouldn't do that because my heart and mind would be connected. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, yeah. So. You wouldn't be smearing shit on my windows. I didn't even think of that, but you're right. Why are you helping him? Smearing shit, I gotta write that down.

16:39Why are you giving him ideas? Your blue marshmallow shit. Smearing blue marshmallow shit on Steven's window. Well, Steven, it was really nice meeting you. I'm very intrigued by what you do. I'd love to come by sometime because I would love to get to Silver City, New Mexico. And it would be cool to consult with you. I think it'd be neat. Yeah, I got a visit. Yeah, that'd be fantastic. Well, very nice to meet you, sir. Go forth and do good works. Thank you. All right, take care. Bye-bye. Have a good one. Thank you. Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend. With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley.

17:16Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick D 'Leal, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Your Wolf. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnick Talent booking by Paula Davis Gina Batista and Britt Kahn You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode Got a question for Conan?

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18:12This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.