Greta Lee

22:46You work on these amazing shows. I mean, I was thinking about it and going over like your past. Girls, Russian Doll, of course, the morning show. But you did this spot on Broad City, which I saw recently because I'd been binging Broad City. Oh, you have? Well, I watched it here and there back in the day when it was on and I really liked it. But my daughter came home from school and summertime and she started binging it with my wife. And so I sat in and I just would watch whole seasons and then go to the next season and the next season. It's so good, isn't it? It's fantastic and it really holds up.

23:25It does. It's great. They're remarkable. No, thanks. And I remember liking it at the time, but because of this new streaming era, you can really appreciate all the different little circuitous roots and notes and themes that run through a show. So just fantastic. Yeah. Are you rewatching Girls too? You know, it's interesting. My daughter did. I have not, but I want to go back and start it again. Yeah. That is also one of those shows that it holds up in a very, in an uncomfortable way. Yeah. Like you almost wish we had progressed a little bit more since that time as a society, but a lot of it really holds up.

24:08In what way? Oh, I think like for millennials specifically in that time, I mean, in the world, but specifically for people living in New York City, I feel like I really feel like that was the next chapter after Sex and the City. I really do. And the way and Lena, I think she's incredible. And what she was doing at that time, I think was absolutely remarkable. and yeah, she deserves all kinds of praise for what she did. It was also incredibly remarkable, her book. Yes. Lena Dunham wrote an autobiography. I listened to it. You listened to it? Yeah, I don't always do that. I don't always love an audio book, but for this one in particular, I think you have to listen to it.

24:58What I like to do is read the audio book. It's very hard to do. Oh yeah. Very hard to do. Yeah. You just say whatever's being said to you. You put a glass of water next to the speaker and then you just watch the water vibrations and then you figure out what they're saying. You're worried about my interjections in this. I'm just telling you, you either got it or you don't, buddy boy. You're going to see that's going to get a lot of likes. Podcasts don't get likes. Sure they do. Right. Like this guy knows podcasts. But yeah, she's a she's a remarkable person and so honest. Yeah. So honest about everything and that and and a great writer.

25:39An incredible writer. And I realized I was having like a suspended panic attack while listening to her audio book, driving in L.A. Because I were in a car so much. I kind of thought like, oh, this is a perfect listen. It is. And it's also not because it is so she writes with such brutal honesty. And it is so it's so painful. and enraging, frankly. I'm a little enraged on her behalf in terms of the things she experienced. But yeah, highly recommend. If you want to be enraged while driving, this is the book for you. No, it's a beautiful book. It's an amazing document. It really is, yeah. You have worked with so many incredible women, Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Lena, of course, Amy Schumer, Natasha Lyonne.

26:29And so, you know, my journey, obviously very different from your journey, but some things are the same, which is I, in my family, I never in a million years thought that this was any kind of a job. So when I was in high, you know, grade school and high school, I was a nervous grind and I was funny with my friends, but I had no idea. I mean, I never saw anybody from show business in Boston, Massachusetts in the 1970s. and it wasn't part of my culture in any way. And then it was just through a series of accidents that I sort of got closer and closer. But when I finally did get into this world and you realize a big part of it is working with people whose mind works kind of like your mind and in different ways.

27:16And there's a whole world of people that were also getting beat up on the playground, but now we're all together and someone's paying for lunch. It's, you know, and it's a job. That's crazy. My version of that is I actually grew up really knowing a lot about the industry, not because of my family, but because in L.A. I went to Harvard-Westlake, which is a very good school, private school here in Los Angeles, filled with industry families. So I had a lot of exposure to, you know, a lot of different, very successful people early on. But the idea of what that was, was presented in a way that was almost like, don't sell out.

27:56Like, don't don't actually be like Spielberg, which is so funny to think about. God forbid anyone was like Spielberg. Yeah, like, I don't know. And I remember an English teacher pulling me aside and saying, you know, don't I hear you want to be an actor. I hear you want to go to Northwestern. don't come on don't do that but what way was she saying it i think there was this real emphasis on like and like being an intellectual and being a real artist whatever that meant to people but that did i i have to say inform a little bit of my decisions in terms of like what i was where i wanted to go to school and what kind of moving to new york after college like i wanted to be a stage actor and I really wanted all of that.

28:40But to your point about finding your people, I grew up at that time, like dealing with a little bit of my identity and being Asian American, like, oh, basically at lunchtime, like, do I hang with the Asian kids? Where do I sit? And it wasn't until I found the theater kids. It's like, oh, I'm just that race. Yes. I understand now. It's all fine. These are my people. and it doesn't matter where you come from, but if you're a theater nerd, I'm with you. That's what it is, yeah. And yeah, it's so funny. I remember in another lifetime, I think I was working on Saturday Night Live as a writer and someone noticed, they'd throw me in sketches sometimes and someone said, you should take a serious acting class.

29:28And I thought, well, okay, we have weekends off. And so I took a class with like, I think it was at Uta Hagen. I got into this class and I thought, well, I'm going to really learn. And I remember they went around the room and every single person said, well, I would never do a commercial. And I don't want to be in a movie. I wouldn't have anything to do with it. I just want to do Chekhov and I want to do it in a very small theater. And I was sitting there and I thought, bullshit. You're just all lying. I mean, it's fine to have those aspirations, but I just, you know, and then subsequently I've seen them all.

30:03you know, getting a burrito and this tastes delicious. It's scrum diddly doo. I don't know. There's no ramp into this question. I can't wait. Okay. You committed a murder. Yes. 19, 1999, Portland, Oregon. Off the record. Off the record. Off the record. You committed a murder. No, I heard that you are, you would sometimes get an impulsive tattoo. and I am, that's one thing I have, that's a world I've never sort of. Well, your skin looks delicate, I have to say. Now, Greta. I wouldn't mess with it. Greta. Yes, yes. What do you mean by that? And please be honest. I just, I mean, it feels, it feels vulnerable.

30:54You're saying a tattoo. You should actually feel it. Yeah, yeah, I don't need to. I can tell from where I'm sitting. You reacted like a mummy walked into the room. So you're saying if I got a small tattoo of like a yin yang symbol, it might kill me. Possibly. Yeah. Yeah. The way it transfuses into your blood. It's just like, I don't know. I do. You know what? Immediately when you said that, everyone here nodded their head like that. Yeah, definitely. You're just speaking a truth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have like piercings or anything else? Oh, I have a ton of piercings. Okay, great. Yeah. What?

31:27I just, I'm really into it. I think it's fantastic. I cannot go through a metal detector at the airport. And then when I show them why, they're horrified. Right. Show them. I do. I'm really into that. Yeah. No, I have no piercings. I have nothing. No tattoos. I think because I grew up with bright orange hair and very pronounced freckles that faded over time, not interested in any other marks on my body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what would be an impulsive tattoo for you? Something that's just like, oh, my God, I can't believe I did it, but I just went for it. Okay. fine. You don't have to do this.

32:03No, I'll give you one. I, I was so mad about a certain election one year that I tattooed the female symbol on my finger, um, which was really stupid. Cause it's like, it looks like I have forgotten what I am. It's like memento where you have to remind yourself. Yeah. It's like when a kid puts right and left on their sneakers. Yeah, exactly. Like, it looks deranged. But at the time, I mean, I put it on this finger because I felt, I mean, I don't know. I just felt like it was this moment, you know, heard of mansplaining. Like, I felt like that was a big, like, shh, no, no, no. So I put a female symbol on my finger.

32:45So now I can do that all the time with this reminder. I realized recently I don't have enough testosterone to mansplain. You know? It's just, when I try to mansplain, it's just, it doesn't come across that way. It's just splaining. And women are like, it's okay. They're like, from you, it's fine. Mansplaining from you just feels like I'm chatting with one of the ladies. The least intimidating guy. Yeah, yeah. That car was mansplaining. Were you mad? Not really. He was on a pink phone and. Can you, can you man spread as well? You can't. Let's not get into it. Okay. Let's see those piercings. okay let's just settle down i apologize um uh okay so this i know comes up a lot in your interviews but i i need to tell you that when you were booked on the the podcast and you've had so much different success but some of the people on our show are that work here are sort of religious zealots about past lives in a really sweet way and i know that you must get that all the time um i do get that all the time which is nice it deserves it it's such a great movie thanks um you know i do get that all the time and i do really appreciate it not just listen it's so nice to be in a movie that people love and you know is successful that's that's so great but beyond that i still have so many people stop me and not in like an aggressive or intrusive way and just feel the need to just turn and say very simply, I love that movie so much.

34:26Thank you so much. And to me, I think there's so many different ways we can complain about our industry and this job. But I think that's like an instant reminder that I love film and I love what we do and how great to be able to connect with all kinds of people. Also, one of the things I've noticed is you're never, it's nice to be busy. We're really lucky to get to do this. You're running around doing all these different things. You never quite know what's going to resonate. Yeah. And I'm sure you felt, okay, this project is special, but you're doing a bunch of things. You do that and then it endures.

35:03And that's one of those films that's going to, made a big impact. It is much discussed. It is much praised. But I feel like in five, 10, 15 years, it's just going to keep going. Yeah. And then and and other things that maybe got some noise will fade a little bit. But that's one of those movies that touches on something very elemental. Yeah, I think so. And I like that the reason is something that feels so kind of elemental to just being a person. Like one of my favorite experiences was a young woman coming up to me and saying, thank you so much for past lives. She said, I'm 17 years old. I've never been in love, but because of your movie, I'm so excited to be in love.

35:47Oh, man. I was like, Jesus. And I was like, you shithead, leave me alone. How dare you come up to me? I'm with my family right now. Turn around and get out of here. No, but it really, it's just, I mean, how could your jaw not hit the ground when you hear something like that from someone? And I just like, I am so appreciative and genuinely do hope that I get to experience set for a long, long time. And obviously your story relating to that film, because you were up for a part, didn't get it. Oh my God. And you were crushed because you thought, well, this would have been a really good part. You moved on with your life and then the original casting fell through.

36:28Is that right? I think enough time has passed now that I can tell this story. Okay. The murders that I've committed. Portland, Oregon, 1998. We'll start with that one. No, it really was such a messy ride. And this, you know, it happens a lot with casting and with you find out like, oh, I was not only the second choice. I was like the 15th choice or whatever it is. But in this case, I really was told by the universe several times that this was not going to be my job. And at a certain point, it just became so absurd and insulting because the first time I auditioned, I was convinced to do it. I didn't really think I could speak Korean well enough to do it.

37:09And that wasn't something that I was looking for, but I was convinced, did the tape and then didn't get it. And it was like to my agents, like, come on, I'd see, like, what'd you make me do? And they're like, no, no. You know, they thought that you are just too old. Nice. Yeah. Don't worry. It wasn't your Korean. You're too old. But basically that was the case because they had cast the other role. this really excellent Korean actor who was much younger than me. And it went to someone else and they were going to shoot it. But then it fell apart and it came back almost exactly a year later. Same thing.

37:50And I think I had sort of started talking to them. And at the time, and this is just wild, but I got a call from Scott Rudin's office and he was attached at the time. And it was a message that was a long voicemail. That was something, something like, where are you? You have a meeting at Cafe Clooney. He's waiting, something, something. And I thought I got past lives because I thought, oh, my God, this is amazing. He wants to meet me at Cafe Clooney to tell me that I got this job. I listened to the message again and again, and I played it. I sent it to my agents, and they played it. And we realized collectively that the message was actually for Greta Gertweig.

38:33Oh. for something completely, who knows what that was for? I don't know. I've told her now since, and she was like, oh my gosh, I have no idea. But that was such a publicly humiliating experience because the whole, you know, all the agents were like, oh my God, oh my God, yeah, that's rude. And then collectively realizing that was the wrong Greta. And so I really thought like, please leave me alone with this job. It's not mine. I get it. I'm too old and I'm too American or whatever. And you're no Greta Gerwig. I'm not Greta Gerwig. You're the wrong Greta. Wow. And you know, it is when you have experiences like that, you think I didn't ask for any of this.

39:16Leave me out of it. Yeah. Stop coming to me, getting my hopes up a little bit and then slapping me around. Exactly. Stop it. So then it comes back around again and all works out. Well, yeah. And then it was like, can you Zoom with Celine tomorrow? And it was during the pandemic. And I had no time to, you know, cram and try to pretend like I'm like a different actor. Sort of like, no, it's go time, you know? And we read together on Zoom and she gave me the job on the spot. And it was just, I know, I hate stories like that, though. Why? It just feels too, I don't like when it feels so cosmic. or like so well you know mostly it doesn't feel that way there's so many things in life that don't happen that when it does happen you kind of have to honor it yeah because i've i mean i've had one major cosmic moment like that where what was yours how i got into this whole on air thing which is how i am it's too long a story to go into but i had no business getting this late night show when i was 29 years old i just had no business it shouldn't have happened i was in no position to get it.

40:28I wasn't ready, but things kept conspiring. Yeah. How many people did you kill to get that? Oh my God. Well, a lot of them lived. Yeah. Okay. Kim O 'Fallon. They all somehow survived. Greta Gerwig. She was the big one that had to go. Yeah. Although why they called me when they were trying to get Greta Gerwig, I don't understand. I am a scientific person. I can usually look at someone's magical story and tell them why, well, that's not really magical because this is, but every now and then I hear something and I go, yeah, there's no explanation for that. And my situation, it is truly, you know, when I got the job, I knew Tom Hanks just as a writer from Saturday Night Live.

41:11He knew me because he would come on the show and I would write things for him. And he looked at me and he pointed at me and he said, this doesn't happen. What's happening to you? It doesn't happen. I don't think it's ever happened. And he was saying it as like in a calm, historic way. Yeah. It was very bizarre. And so when I try to explain that to younger people who've grown up with me yakking in the background, Yeah. the idea of me doing a show just seems like, well, of course. Well, they're like, you've been around forever. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk about old. Talk about old. Take your old and multiply it by 15 and you get me.

41:45So, I mean, I honor that. Sure. I don't get it. I don't get it either. But is that stressful for you? now i mean that was a while ago but not now but then uh it was oh my god to feel like that lucky in a way yeah and and also when you have that kind of situation it was some esquire piece about me and no one knew who i was yet and they had one photograph of me because there was no internet there was no yeah i didn't have headshots and esquire did a thing about jealousy when someone you know has been elevated and the headline of the piece was my photograph with like a bullseye on it Oh, boy. And I remember looking at this before I even went on the air, looking at it and going, okay, this is going to be fun.

42:26Oh, yeah. So, but I guess what I'm saying is that I do think sometimes, and this is not scientific, and this is maybe just Irish magical thinking, but sometimes there is something at work that cannot be explained. Yeah. And I think in your case with this project, it just kept coming back to you. It might have been. Yeah. I mean, I think for me, it's still really hard to explain and to wrap my mind around what's happened for me. I think there, in our business, no one is entitled to anything. I feel like I came off of a lot of years when I was first starting out feeling really, really kind of put down by, you know, the lack of opportunities for someone like me.

43:14Like forget being a girl, like all the other things. And I just felt like I couldn't believe I was still in it or trying. And there was a time it I really and I've said this before. I felt like I had already gone to my own funeral. And it wasn't it wasn't like so desperately sad. It just felt so like fact. And I had made peace with it. And I was living a great life. I mean, I had my kids and I had this husband that I met in college and a really full dynamic plate, a full plate. And yeah, made peace with like, I'm going to be a supporting actor. Like, I think I will have enough opportunity coming in to just like support my family enough.

43:59And this is going to be okay, I think. But I know now looking back how, well, how dead I was. And like there is something that is, yeah, a little sad about that because you think, wow, that is such a human thing. Like your dreams very often die and have to die. And we see it all the time. And then sometimes new ones happen that are so much more than you ever could have imagined. There's just no possible way to wrap your mind around it. And that's sort of how I feel right now. Like there's no, it's hard for me to categorize or sort of like place myself within a world of like, oh, I'm like, I'm like Val Kilmer or I'm like this person.

44:49yes guys every day i wake up in the mirror and i'm like how much am i like but it's just it can feel disorienting is what i'm saying like and and like what that sense of purpose and what's going to keep me going because i have the all the tethers and all the things that i used to have to kind of measure myself and how much i was failing all of it is just cut and it's all new and it feels like there's no blueprint and I have no idea. So. Well, I was just, when I was talking to you just before you came in here and you're saying, well, I'm here today, but I got to jump on a plane because I'm going to London for a project.

45:24And the speed of things has picked up. Yeah. All because you are extremely talented. You work really hard. You know your craft and people now, you're a known commodity. And the flip side of that is you're going to be jumping on a lot of planes. and a part of a lot of things. And so that's great. But you do have the ballast, which I think is the most important thing to have in this business of, I've got my family. I know what's important to me. And I had all those years of thinking this probably wouldn't happen. That really helps when things pick up. I think so. The way they are now. That like everything is cake.

46:02Everything is dessert. It's extra. Like that, it really does feel like that. I mean, of course I have my days and there are certain jobs that are more challenging than others. There are certain situations, of course. Yeah. But I feel right now, I mean, check on me maybe in a month, in a week. I'm just going to cold call you at three in the morning. Hey, are you okay? Conan, what? How you doing? So remember when you said it was cake? Yeah, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake. No! How do you feel now? Yeah. Yeah. I want to talk about this movie, The Last House. Yeah. Which, and I'll tell you a little quick story.

46:37I always like to see the movie of anyone who's coming on. And so I was like, okay, well, I know your work really well. I'm in a movie with you. We've chatted. Okay, we have a lot to talk about, but I want to see this movie. And then my assistant said, oh, we got it. We're going to watch it this morning. So I came in early and it came through Netflix. Yeah. And it starts to play and there's no, you can't hear anybody. You can't hear anyone. And then, and every now and then you could hear a little word and you'd say something like, would you like a sandwich? But then you don't hear anything. You do like a sandwich.

47:13You know, you're like, would you like a sandwich? I do say that a lot in a movie. Yeah. And then we tried for a while putting subtitles on and I think they're not quite done mixing it yet possibly or something. What? That is so hilarious. I don't know, but they sent us this movie that, and we were all like banging, like chimpanzees were banging the side of the flat screen. Like dueling foley, like old school stuff. Like thunderclap. Yeah, yeah. And there were things that weren't there yet. And it was disconcerting because someone would walk, but there's no footsteps. Oh my God. So something, maybe some track didn't come through.

47:44And back in the day, this will date me, but you would get like a cassette or then you'd get a DVD or then, but now it's - Oh, so Netflix is doing that now? They are? You didn't get the cassette? No. Damn it. It's a big three quarter inch. And they send you the machine that was built in 1981. It's from the movie Broadcast News. Great movie, great movie. I remember my first job in 1985, not necessarily the news. My writing partner and I showed up and they gave us these things that look like giant mortar bricks. Oh, my God. And you would put them in a machine. It would go like. And then it would play whatever it is you were trying to look up.

48:22Well, now it's all. Here's a special code. It's going to be sent to you, Sona, right? You were at a restaurant not picking up your phone, having a good old time and putting it on the company. I missed one phone call. And I did put it on the company. Did you have a little liquid courage at lunch? No. Okay, whatever. What? Anyway, but we kept, so we were texting Sona saying, what's the code, what's the code? And she's like, another round! And put it on Team Coco! I missed one phone call. At her favorite restaurant, Chez Expensive.

48:54And so then we finally get the code and we all gather on the TV. Yeah, it took three minutes. It took you a while. Anyway. It took me three minutes. Please, anyway, you're a little hungover, but you have no sense of time. The waiter had to wake you up at the table. She was wearing a giant pinata. I don't know how you wear a pinata. My point is we watched it. It's a complete, there's no sound. Oh, here's a pen for you. There's no sound. We're trying to watch it. But so then we went and we watched the trailer and the trailer has sound. And we watched the trailer and I'm like, I want to see this.

49:32this looks really good. Oh my God. Because the idea is very cool. Did you think it was a creative choice? Like, did you think it was intentional? Did you honestly for a moment think like, oh. For a second. Oh, like the quiet place. It's like the quiet place. It starts with your husband like on a dock fishing and there's no sound. And I thought this is a really bold choice. This is cool because you hear nothing. You don't even hear ambient sound. And you see lightning, but you don't hear it. And I thought, well, this is, I don't know who this director is, but they got guts. This is cool. Louis, I'm sorry.

49:59I mean, you are, he's having a stress attack right now. No, no, no, no. The point is, I'm not saying anything bad about the film. I'm just saying that was our experience. The film that has sound. And we stopped it. Well, we don't know that. So we had to stop it. Yeah, it says you. We stopped it like three minutes in. So I still haven't seen the movie, but we then watched the trailer and I'm like, I think it's a really cool idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Family goes into their house, shuts it normal. I think they live in Seattle where my wife is from. I've been there many times. Yeah, you picked up on that without sound.

50:28I think a shot of the space needle. And most of Pearl Jam walking around gave it away. Yeah. And people throwing fish to each other. Right, right, right. All that stuff. But then they can't get out of the house. And what's interesting to me is that initially doesn't seem that scary because what's safer than being in your house? Right. And the cool thing to me about the idea is that at a certain point, not being able to leave your house becomes terrifying. Yeah. Just kind of what we went through in COVID. Yeah, yeah, a little bit. I mean, I loved the idea of just a regular day and like, you know, this family and the sort of chaos of the morning that a lot of parents know and then getting the miracle of like, finally, we will leave the house and going to the door and it won't open.

51:13Yeah. And then a lot of time passing. Yes. And what is going to happen? I just, I really love that. And I love, I just love Amblin-y kind of like those movies, a kind of thriller, sci-fi. survivalist stories. Yeah. And I thought, yeah, let's, you know, I liked Louis' ambition for it. We shot a lot of it on 35mm, which I at first was like, that's crazy. Right, right. Why? Are you sure? That's a lot of film. Well, actually, that's just an app on any iPhone. 35mm. That's so cool, though. And so, I am, I'll tell you this, I watched the trailer and I was like, I want to see this movie when Netflix lets me listen to it.

51:58Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Just wait for that cassette. It's just some technical thing. No one should be reprimanded for this in any way. These things happen. Yeah. Don't you think so? You reprimanded me earlier, but yeah. I just think drinking at lunch and putting on the company card is a bad idea. I had fun. Also, have you checked your hearing? Maybe it's just you. I don't know. No, that's actually horrifying. It could just be you. Maybe that's the true horror movie. Yeah. And by the way, everyone around me loved it. And I'm like, too bad, there's no sound. And I saw everyone get really sad.

52:28Oh, yeah. Tears falling. They're like, don't tell him. Yeah, yeah. And why does it make you urinate in your pants? And everyone's like, oh, Conan. Well, that's part of what the movie does, right? Yeah, that's part of it. Greta, how much are you regretting coming in here? I mean, I... No, this is great. So I'm sure you have a ton of follow-up questions about the movie since you heard all of it and you've watched all of it. I did. So we should like really get into it. Really get into it. Yeah. Now you took a very, made a very strange choice for the way that you spoke in the film. I'm told. I haven't seen it, but I heard you were told like, hey, I can't get out of the house.

53:12What's going on? Yeah, we worked with real Marionette.

53:20I'm going to get in so much trouble. the talking points are like, do not bring up marionette puppeteers. Stop doing that, Greta. Yeah. Yeah. I love being told what not to do because then that's all I can think about. And we have it here with ad reads. They'll say, do not say that this car brand will explode. Do not. And it's things I would never bring up, but then that's all I can think about. And then I inevitably say it will make, it will explode on you and then I get in trouble. Yeah. But I know you're that way too. you have the same problem. That's why I'm going to be quiet for at least five seconds while I clear my mind.

53:57Well, you morph into Val Kilmer. I am. This has been an absolute delight. Seriously. You're just a lovely person and an amazing talent. And thanks. I know you're crazy busy. And we've been trying for a while to say like we getting you in here was it was quite a task. No, which was that's a compliment. Because when people tell you I can do it whenever, I'm in my house waiting to do that podcast it's never a good sign when I'm talking about you Al Pacino oh wait you know what I do want to plug one more movie that's coming out on the same day it's called Late Fame and it's with Willem Dafoe and I and it's a movie that takes place in New York City directed by Kent Jones and it's a real special precious gem of a film that's coming out on the same day.

54:53How can we see that? In theaters, yeah. Is it also Netflix? No. Oh, good, it'll have sound. It'll have sound. No, but Willem is so incredible in it. He's great. And I just, Sammy Birch wrote our script. She did May, December. And it's the Past Lives team. It's Christine Michonne and Pam Koffler. It's amazing. Willem Dafoe can play the most diametrically opposed characters. Yes, he can. And, you know, I'm thinking about him in Grand Budapest Hotel where he's this hilariously comic assassin. But then he can, you know, I mean, think about the different roles he's played where it bears no relationship to the role he just did.

55:36You know, he's a shapeshifter and a lovely guy. So lovely. When I've talked to him, he's just really lovely. Absolutely lovely. And the things he can do with his face. I just don't understand his musculature in his face. and yet it's the performances for me like Florida Project and this movie the ones where he takes it all away and it's just this man I mean he's not playing himself but where so much of the other really joyful things we get to see him do is stripped away I find that version of him so compelling and that's this movie so enjoy everyone and it has sound and the name of that film again is?

56:17Late Fame All right. Yeah. Get the word out on that film, too. Yeah. Should I go? Should I go now? Oh, I want you out of here so badly. You were terrible today. You're just babbling. I do hope you can come back sometime because I feel like we just scratched the surface. But thank you so much for stopping by. Thanks for having me. Yeah, and just things have sped up a lot for you, and that's a great thing. And I don't even think I have to say this to you, but, like, I just wish you take care of yourself. Oh, my gosh. You know what I mean? Like, protect yourself, protect you and your family time and all that, because it's Gretamania out there.

56:59Oh, gosh. Yeah. And I know what it's like. Trust me. Then I just start crying blood. Thank you. Thank you.

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58:31Have you ever had a cat, Sona? Never. Okay, I have had multiple cats. Yeah. I had a cat growing up. It was my cat. My wife and I now have three cats. That's a lot. Yeah, we have three cats and two dogs. And I have to say the dogs are so appreciative. Cats hard to win over. Cats are cats, they're tricky. Yes. Sometimes I feel like I'm working for them, you know? Well, Temptations Classic Cat Treats is the solution, okay? Temptations Classic Cat Treats are the crunchy outside, soft inside treat any cat obsesses over. Each treat is under two calories per treat. It's 100 % nutritionally complete and balanced for adult cats.

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59:45I just found out some very exciting news. Check this out, David. What? Sona told me yesterday that her husband, Tak Takisian. Ugh, Takbaroyan. What's that? Takbaroyan. Does it matter? Yeah, it's his last name. It's not Takisian. Okay, whatever. Armenian names don't work like that. They're not just like... I thought that was just whatever. I mean, some of them, you know what? As long as it ended I-A-N, it was okay. Yes, you know what? Some of them do actually work that way. They take the name and then they put IA in it. Yeah, yeah. I always called him Tacticesian, but that's not it. It's Baroian.

1:00:14But anyway, Tacticesian, your husband, the father of your beautiful children, lovely guy, funny, talented. The best. Yesterday, he hit a huge milestone. Can you tell us what that is? He tested for his black belt, which is a very intense thing. And he got his black belt after seven years. This is incredible. With this specific dojo, he got his black belt. You know what? First of all, I just love that I got you to say dojo. Because it's one of my favorite words. But this is amazing. How many belts are there? Well, for his, because his is very traditional, there's only three belts. There's white, brown, and black.

1:00:54But there's degrees to each one. Right. So, you know, there's like, you get like, I don't know, three degrees of white. And then you qualify for brown. Then there's three, I think, degrees for brown belt. And then you qualify for black. And they only test for black belts once a year. He was supposed to test last year, but he got food poisoning. Sorry, it's not funny. It's not funny. I think he had nerves. I really do. But he got sick and couldn't do it. So he had to wait a full year before he could test again. That's incredible. He was so close to getting this, maybe the coolest award anyone can have.

1:01:26Yeah. And he got a little tummy trouble. Oh, no. I've got some tummy trouble. No. Yeah, but he tested. Did he throw up all over the dojo? No. cake. You just wanted to say dojo. Maybe I did. Yeah. No, he tested and he did it. And I'm very proud of him. It's something he's been working for. And that's really cool. I mean, it must have been so cool for him to have passed that test. Yeah. He must have been just feeling so good about himself, you know? Yes. I mean, he must have he must have felt like I'm really in such a great everything's going my way. He must have had mojo in the dojo. I was waiting.

1:02:05I can't. I can't. I will say. Do you think he had Mojo in the dojo? I'm not going to say he got Mojo in the dojo. You just did. Thank you. Okay, so anyway, Sona. Sona, this is a big deal. It is. And all my life I've been hearing this cliched phrase, you better watch out, I'm a black belt in karate. Now he gets to say that. Yeah. Does he say karate or karate? He says karate. Like he says it properly. And I think they make fun of people who are like karate. Like they make fun of people like that. What was the, do you know what the test was? They have like katas, which are, you know, you have to, you know.

1:02:39Did he have to fight a bunch of other guys? Memorized movements. Like spar, I don't think he sparred, but it's like, it's a pretty intense test. In my mind, it's like one of those classic, you know, Bruce Lee movies where he has to work his way up a tower. You know, each room. Do you know what I mean? Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is in one. You know, it's different. There's 700 ninjas in another. and he just has to keep working his way through. I so wish that that was the case, but no, he just went through some various choreographies. Yeah, they like told him stuff and he had to do it and it's all about how smooth he is and how sharp he is and what, what, what, what, what.

1:03:15What about breaking stuff? I don't know. I mean, he didn't really, Dak's not like, you have to like fish information out of him. And so I just - I can't get, he doesn't really, he's not open about his last name, you know, so. It's Beroian. His last name is Beroian, so yeah. Takizian. Well, it's not Takizian, it's Beroian. Okay. But he, no, he had to do a test and it's in front of a lot of other black belt and in front of everybody who's at this special training thing, which is a lot of people from all over the country. So it's a pretty intense thing. And there were six people who were testing.

1:03:44I think it would be better. First of all, it just doesn't, this doesn't make for a good story. I would have added some things. Yeah. At one point they release six apes and he has to subdue them all. Wouldn't that be great? they tie yeah they tie bananas uh they tie bananas to his body and then six apes just six ravenous apes are released and he has to fight them all off i don't like that test now was karate chopping part of the i knew i said it before we recorded i said don't say anything about chopping okay and i'm surprised you went this long without saying without saying i went much longer than i thought I would.

1:04:22I've always loved the idea of someone, let's say, like Tack, who's a black belt, before they attack someone or defend themselves, say, I chop you, I chop you. And then they give them a karate chop. Do you think he ever would if he was in a bad situation, had to karate chop his way out of it? Would he start yelling at his assailants? I chop you, I chop you. And then chopping him. He's going to say, I chop you. Although I might say my husband's a black belt. He'll chop you. Yeah. Yeah. I might say that. Yeah. Has he taught you any moves? No, he hasn't. He hasn't. I actually know he has. He's like, he's taught me some self-defense moves just so I know them.

1:04:57But also I'm mouthy. And so because there's been a couple instances. He breaks boards. You break balls. Yeah, I do. That's a perfect couple. But I do think I do think there's times when I've let my mouth kind of get ahead of me. And then he's had to like jump in and like settle things. Oh, you mean out in the world? Yeah. You've taught you because you have a hair trigger temper. I'm a shitster. And you get mad. I've been with you when you start to get into it with someone. And yes, Tack can intervene and calm you. No, he's like very old school where he like he will defend my honor and he'll like get into it with whoever's doing it.

1:05:36And because he's my muscle, he now knows like he's always known how to like really fight. He grew up learning, knowing how to fight because he was like a little immigrant kid and people used to pick on him. Yeah. And so he's always had that. But, you know, now it's like he's a black belt in karate. He'll chop you. And yes. And then. Yeah. So I. So you say I'll chop you. I'll chop you. He'll chop you. Yeah. I think that would be. So you'd be in a situation where you're driving. He's in the passenger seat. Someone cuts you off. You beep your horn, maybe give him the finger and they yell at you and say you can't drive.

1:06:11Well, it's not usually road rage. Would he jump out of the car and say, I will defend your honor? No, I mean, there was an incident at a gas station once where these two people were picking on this older man and they were like threatening him when he got out of the car. And so I started yelling and then one of them started yelling at me and then Tack came out of the store and he's like, don't talk to my wife that way. And it got very intense. Wow. Good for him. But nothing happened. Good for him. It was calm. In that same situation, I'm being honest, if someone was, we were a gas station that was inside and someone was screaming at Liza, I'd come out and say, when you're done yelling at my wife, wife.

1:06:42No, Conan, no. Because I would say, well, this is your affair here. This is your business. When you're done screaming at my wife, I will move the car so you can pull in. Okay. You would give them your spot at the pump? Best not to be hurt. But now I can say, you know, you're yelling at my wife. My friend, Tack, chop you. Tack, chop you. He'd chop you. He'd chop you good. That's the one I like. He'd chop you good. We can hire Tack as like a security guard for you. He'd chop you good. I feel like every guy thinks one day they'll become a black belt in karate. I feel like that's like the sort of - I have never thought that.

1:07:22You guys have never wanted to be in karate, learn karate, and then become a black belt in karate. No, he wants to be the person who's seen the most musicals nonstop in a nine-week period. You don't need karate for that. Yeah. And you should see the belt that comes with that. It's a really very shiny. It's a very, very colorful, fun belt. It's a sassy belt. Yeah. But Sona, I think this is very cool that he can do this now. And I am curious if it has practical applications. Of course it does. Or I'm sorry, karate. Yeah, I think it does. I think knowing any kind of martial art is good for you. Yeah.

1:07:57Right? You don't think so? No, no, I'm not saying I don't think so. I just am curious. I don't know. You think it's all like chopping boards and like kicking the air. but you're just wondering, does that actually translate if you're in a fight? If you're in a fight, I'm sure it does. Yes, I think it does. I'm sure it does. Yes. Don't get upset. I'm just saying yes. I think even just saying I'm a black belt in karate, bitch, then that's enough to scare somebody. I don't know. It's such a cliche. I'm a black belt in karate. I would just start laughing if someone said that to me. You would not be.

1:08:26No, if someone was coming into your face and they're like, I'm a black belt in karate, you'd be like, okay, sorry, bro. No, you'd start doing bits. Yeah, I do bits. Oh, yeah. You would never say bro. I don't know why I would say bro. What are you talking about? I'd say he is no sibling of mine. And then they just beat you badly. Yeah. I once, when I was at late night, one of the writers studied martial arts and he's since passed away, Brian Rich, but he's a really funny writer, really. And it's tragic that he's gone. But I once, he was very serious about studying, I think martial arts. And I told him that I had studied a defense called the cube where you trick, you trace the outlines of a cube with your hand and you never stop and you cover beside.

1:09:13And I said, if you do that, you can't penetrate the cube with a blow. And I would do the cube to him and he would go to like slap me. And basically I would just then move my hand so that would knock the hand that was slapping at me. But it had nothing to do with the cube. But I kept talking about the cube. and I think I drove him insane because he kept saying, well, I don't understand. What do you mean it's the cube? You're not doing anything. You're just, the minute my hand starts to come near you, you just bat away at my hand. Oh my God. But you're, what is the cube? And I'd be like, no, it's the cube defense.

1:09:43It's been worked out mathematically and if I trace that and if you can see this on video, I would just do this and say it's the cube. You're miming, he's miming a cube. I'm miming making a cube with my hands by moving my hands around in a, you know, geometric pattern. Yes. And the least, threatening thing I've ever seen. It's the stupidest thing. You look like you're voguing. Yeah, it looks like, yes, it looks like I'm Madonna voguing. It looks like I'm voguing, but I would say it's the cube, man. Nothing gets through the cube. It just made him crazy. And then when my son was old enough, when he was like seven, I started telling him, yeah, I know the cube defense.

1:10:14I started doing the same bullshit with my son. And he was like, what does that mean? It doesn't, no, you're just, that's not anything. What is that? So that's why he doesn't talk to me. It's a wonder you haven't been, can I be very sincere? It's a wonder you haven't been beaten up more than you have been. I was beaten up. I was beaten up once, yeah. But it's surprising you haven't been beaten up more. But I think in a way, maybe God made you tall because he knew this would be how you are so that you would be threatening looking but not actually threatening. If you see me in person, I don't look like someone you'd necessarily want to mess with.

1:10:48Exactly, that's what I'm saying. Quite large. Yeah, and you're in good shape and you look like you could fight. Also, I have so much untapped rage. I think that would work in my favor. Oh, yeah. Eduardo, do you agree with this? I agree. I would go, you know, I do think I have a lot of anger and I'm very physical. So I might snap. I'd be more hesitant to fight the guy with the cube than the guy who says he has a black belt. And because you don't know what I'm going to do. Because you seem ill and unwell. Yeah. And who knows? No one wants to fight crazy. Yeah. No one's like crazy. So congratulations to TAC.

1:11:26Yes. Very proud of you. I'll get this right someday. Zaccheon. Yeah. And I hope he don't chop you. Oh my God. He's not going to chop me. Don't say chop. I chop you. Why do you have to end it with chop? I chop you. And I chop and I chop and I chop again. It's just so funny if he would narrate his karate chops like that. I chop you. Now I chop you again. Now I chop you three times. That's a chop and a chop and a chop. That's not how karate works. I know. Something's wrong with me. Conan O 'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley.

1:12:00Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

1:12:13Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista and Brit Khan. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

1:12:55Thank you.

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