Julia Louis-Dreyfus Returns

24:43And that's a way to sort of talk about things but not really mean it. Are you a practicing Catholic now? Well, that's a very personal question. Yeah, but I'm curious. Well, then you have a right to know. I would say I'm in the, I think it's in my bones. I would say somewhat lapsed. Let's put it that way. Did you raise your children in a religious way? Well, this is going to upset people, but no. Mom, dad. They're not listening. Oh, thanks. not because they're too old because they just isn't really they don't like my stuff I would say we raise them to be highly ethical and moral but start quizzing them on details from the New Testament and they will not do well how about you?

25:32the same for real I mean I wasn't raised Catholic I was raised nothing it'd be funny if you were raised nothing and then raised your kids very rigidly Catholic that would be funny no one ever does that no you never go at it that way Because you know what? Yeah, exactly. You can't get the toothpaste into the tube. No. Right. That never happens. Right. There was a period of time that my mother took us to the Unitarian Church. But then the minister, I think he killed himself. Oh. Yeah, I'm sorry. No. No, it's okay. But he did. And so didn't feel like the right fit anymore. Yeah, if the guy who's leading you on your spiritual journey takes himself out of the picture.

26:12Yeah. I mean. Yeah, that's not good. God love him. But anyway, so yeah, so I did not have, but my husband was raised big time Episcopal and his dad was a minister. So he grew up in the church. Yeah, yeah. Actually in Santa Barbara, by the way. That church on, it's actually on Eucalyptus Lane. Yeah, they have beautiful churches up there. There are these Spanish style churches. Well, this one's Craftsman. It's called All Saints by the Sea. Craftsman Church. Gorley, you'd go in even if you didn't want to worship. I'm ready to convert. Yeah. No, it's a beautiful church. Yeah, it's nuts. That's the problem is like church gets a lot of the best architecture and it just doesn't seem fair.

26:53Yeah, it does, right? Yeah. There are churches where it's known that celebrities go there. There was a church in Santa Monica where I think Arnold Schwarzenegger used to go. And people who went to the church used to say he'd like when he marched down the aisle for communion, like practically with a cigar in his mouth. He'd go to that Catholic church at like 7th Street. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a pretty church too. I've gone in there to look at the church. I like to go to churches if a celebrity is going to be there. Totally. Then I try and get them for the podcast. Like they're in line for communion.

27:26I'm like, stay. Arnold. Arnold. What is it? I'm about to take communion. That's why all the guests lately have been so religious. Yeah. Every guest that came in had ashes on Ash Wednesday. They're all hyper Catholic. Mark Wahlberg is back for the ninth time in a row. Kelsey Grammer.

27:52You weren't raised in a strong religion. That would be very different. I can't imagine that. No, I was not. I was definitely not. My dad's side of the family, his father was Jewish. And with the last name Louis Dreyfus, people assumed I was Jewish. But so I sort of I am very proud of that heritage, but I wasn't raised Jewish either. So you're a mix. There was a there was a blend there. Yeah, totally. OK, I'm so in favor of the blend. I am. Yeah. Yeah. And I've talked about this, but I am a pure, pure dose of Catholic Irish Catholic. And there's nothing else in there. And I think that's where leads to madness.

28:33and I very much envy my wife who's a blend of like some Welsh and some Scottish and some English and some Irish and she's much more intelligent and much saner than I am and I think that's a better way to go and I'm happy that my kids are a blend. Yeah, that's good and plus you didn't, I mean, and they're sort of nothing too, right? Well, I wouldn't say they're nothing. I think they're nothing and my kids are nothing too. Oh my gosh, dang. I'm going to have to pull my kids aside and say, you're not that woman you adore. Cause I've told you this before, but it was, we talked about this last time, but my wife, it was a, it was a tough call, but my wife made the decision.

29:13Our kids are watching veep and at, at a fairly young age. And she would make a motion to like cover their ears, but not really. And anyway, uh, the point being that they were really young because they were young. Yeah. And I would be, I mean, I don't need to tell you, but some of the writing on that show, not some of the writing, a lot of the writing, I think brilliant writing, such great comedy, such great performances. One of the great shows, downright filthy and very descriptive when people are going after each other. Very descriptive. Yeah. And the male anatomy comes up a lot. My wife just made the call like, this is really funny and I think our kids should see it.

29:54And they started watching it. So now I'm going to go home and tell them, you know, that woman that you love, she just described you as nothing. Nothing. Were they too young to get it? Did they like it? I think funny is funny. I really do. I think they got a lot of it. And they really loved it. I'm just curious about something because we're on the subject of Veep. You got to talk to Kamala Harris about Veep. Yeah. And what's her perspective on the show? She loves the show. she said I saw her actually recently believe it or not I'd never met her until like two months ago and she said I love she said to me I love the show it's incredible and it's it's really like it's like real life and I said I know it is I said you want me to get you out of here

30:45but she had a sense of humor it'd be great if just then someone had come in to tell her something and she had been as filthy as you are Why don't you take your dick and shove it up your own? You know, like what? Right, exactly. Oh my God, it really is. That's incredible. Yeah, I think probably not quite as sweary, but yeah, they're just people trying to get the job done. You know? I hear what you're saying. Yeah. I hear what you're saying. Yeah. Now she would be, well, she can't be on the podcast because you have to talk to older women. Yes, that's right. What happens if you really admire a woman and you think she's done amazing work, but you don't want to call her older.

31:23Can you have her on the podcast? Well, what do you mean? Can you age her? No. What if you had the chance to have Taylor Swift on? Oh, God. You're not going to get to her, man. You got to let it go. I'm going to let it go. If I do get her, I'll let you know, and you can help me talk to her. You're not going to let me know. No, I'm not.

31:46I'm just curious if, what are you learning then so far in the podcast that's what is informing you? Because you're talking to these amazing women. Are they teaching you stuff that's inspiring you? You know, Jane Fonda, particularly, she talks about the different acts of life, the first, the second, and the third act. In her own mind, she's sort of broken down the aging process into three acts. And so now she's in her third act. And she's done what she calls a life review in which she really went back over her life and tried to understand where it is she has been. Right. Which is an interesting thing to consider personally.

32:31So I'm in my third act, right? And so I'm starting to think about, wow, it was mind-expanding to me talking to her and so many other people. Ruth Reichel, for example, the former editor of Gourmet Magazine and the New York Times Food Critic. And she also, she's like 75, I think. And she was talking about how important it is to keep doing things that frighten you, which is an interesting thing to consider. And basic things like really honestly staying physically fit. She didn't say this. This is very much Jane and also Isabel Allende. day, staying physically fit and healthy is hugely meaningful as you get older.

33:19I mean, it's so obvious. But then when you really start to consider it, I think to a certain extent, you don't think about getting, I mean, you do think about getting older, but it creeps up on you. I mean, how old are you? Do you mind my asking? Not at all. And this is a frequent topic of discussion, much to the delight of my compatriots here. I don't know exactly when this drops okay this drops on april 17th on april 18th i turned 60 and so everything you're talking about is stuff i've been thinking about because there was so much in my career where i was the youngest guy in the room tell me about it and and people would say um yeah you know i was in college like the young guy that ran the magazine the comedy magazine then you know i when i got a late night show.

34:06I was I had just turned 30. And so you're this young whippersnapper way too young. You know, people were like, what's now and and green. And then there was just years and years and years where, well, there's the hosts at 1130. And then there's the that kooky rooster guy over there in late night. And then what happens is suddenly it felt to me like it suddenly flipped to give us your wisdom, old man. I'm like, what are you talking about? But it happens. It does happen. And now I interview a lot of younger people in comedy and like, well, I grew up. I know. Watching you. I was in diapers as you were hitting 50.

34:43And I'm like, Jesus Christ, what happened? But I'm I keep coming back to the same general feeling of of gratitude and just happy to be here. But I will tell you, I've been doing a lot of inventorying. I do. I've been thinking of it in 20-year cycles. Like, okay, age 1 to 20 got me to this point in my life. Age 20 to 40 got me to this other part. And then 40 to 60 got me here. And so that's how I'm going to come to thinking about it. It's got me keeping score, adding it up, and for the most part, feeling content about - Which is fantastic because, I mean, what else is the point? Are you pivoting in any way?

35:25Like, as you move into this next sort of, what do you want to call it? Your next 20 years section? I call it my dotage. Into your dotage? No, but for real, like, are you making adjustments? Are you thinking about it like that in any way? Yeah, no, to be, I mean, there's all these jokes that come to mind that I think, no, just. Yeah, just tell. Just tell. But first, the jokes. Yeah, yeah, I'm getting a lot of work done, Shane. Yeah, I'm getting an eye job, Shane. No, the reality of it is I love, I mean, we started talking about this and we addressed it already, but how this technology has changed.

36:05There's a way now that I can practice my craft, whatever you want to call it, without being highfalutin, try and get my personality across, which is in essence all I've been trying to do since I was a kid. and then when I got into broadcasting it's just trying to do that on a bigger scale but this podcast has been a real revelation to me that I can you know you came on the late night show several times and we had some really great moments you did some great stuff one of my favorites is when Tina Fey came on oh that was fun and it was really fun that was a fun bit we had worked out a whole bit where you were on my show and you wanted to steal Tina's Emmy and you knew Tina was upstairs at Saturday Night Live or in the building.

36:52That's right. And I enjoined you to come with me and we were going to go steal it. We ran up a stairwell. We went up a stairwell. It was so much fun. That bit came out well. Yes. And we did it live. We did it live. Stole her Emmy, came back down, and then there's a great moment where we go on with things and then she shows up in the doorway. Yeah. And so I guess the point I was making is there were things that you could do, comedy bits and we could have a short conversation. And I loved that. I adored that and I'm glad that I got to do it. But now the fact that there's a way that I can talk to you in this way, in this manner.

37:33In a more sort of genuine. Yeah, genuine. And it feels different to me. And to me, the whole key is just keep trying new things right and and um that's the thing keep trying don't just keep as much as there are people that would say oh my god i just wish seinfeld had kept going no seinfeld needed to stop you know right and and then you needed uh to do sitcoms and then you needed to do yeah single camera and then you needed to you know you're just like you you need to do movie work and then you have to do you have to keep trying things that you are uh that Challenged by. Challenged by, and they're not in your muscle memory.

38:10So to me, that's the thing is I just want to keep putting myself out there in different ways and then be honest about it. If something doesn't work, it didn't work. Yeah. Well, I mean, something will eventually not work, but that's okay. Well, not for me. I'm just - No, no. Everything you do is perfect. Well, that's the subtext of the whole interview. Subtext. Yes, yes. Pardon me. Yes, of course. I'm stating the obvious. Never a stumble, the Conan O 'Brien story. But I think, but that is actually Never a Stumble. That's my bio title that I'm going with. Never a Stumble, the Conan O 'Brien story.

38:46But yeah, I think that - Trying new things, keeping it sort of fresh that way is, I think, well, first of all, it's a great way to live life. And also I think it's a great way to have longevity, I think, I think. I also think one of the things I like a lot is that I work with some people that are older than me, But in this business, I'm constantly meeting young talent and an intern can walk in here with a point of view that will inform me. Just keep your mouth shut, which I have a trouble. I was about to say, I don't think you're taking your own advice. Well, I can hear them as I'm talking. As I'm speaking, I can hear.

39:29No. No. No. Wrong about everything. But these guys are going through big birthdays as well. and I don't know if you're doing the same thing. Are you taking, you're going to hit 50. I very much have tried to keep, take a new look at physicality and be healthier too. So I feel like I just have a, I have a very new daughter and I feel like I've got to be fit. I got to be around. I want to be around. I want to feel good. Yeah. And Sona had twins. Yeah. Twin boys. A year and a half ago. Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. And I turned 40 in October. Wow. And it's funny you bring up learning things from older people because my grandma was such a big figure in my life.

40:09And she was just always happy just being around the people that she loved. And I feel like I've taken that from her. And so turning 40 wasn't like it wasn't it didn't weigh on me too much because I just, you know, I try to just take the joy just like she did and everything. Yeah. There's also the perspective about, I went home recently to Brookline Mass and I was up visiting my parents and I went up and I was sitting in my dad's study and he's sitting at his desk. My dad's 94 and we were chatting and I said, dad, my 60th birthday is coming up. And he looked at me and he was like, you're a kid.

40:48And I thought, oh, he's right. By comparison, yeah. I'm around so many young people who probably look at me and - Think you're 94? Well, no, it is funny. Okay, I'll reveal something. I know that you are a Mark Twain recipient, Mark Twain Award recipient. Yes, yes. And deservedly so. And recently, I've been asked to help present, whatever it's called, when you speak on behalf of someone who's getting a Mark Twain prize. Yes, yes, yes. Prize. So I did it for Lorne Michaels and did it for Will Ferrell. And then this year, Adam Sandler, you know, asked me to come and speak on his behalf. And I did.

41:31And I had a really good time. And then briefly, there was like a big text exchange that everybody was on. All these people that presented and are friends with Adam who are very famous are on this huge text chain. And I'm on it, too. And everyone's talking about what a great time they had. And things are going back and forth. And then someone mentioned someone who was really old. And I think it was Adam said, yeah, I mean, he's older than Conan. And I thought, oh, shit, I think all of these guys are younger than me because they were all a little behind me at SNL. And so I got on the chain and I said, wait a minute, is the new definition of old in comedy older than Conan?

42:09Is that like, no, no, it was it was no, it was it was funny. It is funny. I think the age gap that you're talking about makes more, it hits more when you're younger. When David Spade is asking, can he help you to the toilet? You know you have a problem. That's just a fetish of his. Take his help. David, I did notice he's always asking everyone if he can take them to the toilet. When I was doing Veep, I had the same experience when I realized, oh, Jesus Christ, I'm the oldest one here. Right. And I had not been the oldest one. I'd also, I'd been the young, because when I was hired on SNL, I was 20 fucking one.

42:50I mean, I was young. Just watch the language. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. Let's learn from our elders here. You don't hear that kind of language from a Jane Fonda. Oh, yes, you do. Oh, yes, you do. You know what I loved? I got to talk to Jane Fonda, and of course, I was just blown away. and when the interview was over, we get a picture and I don't know if you remember this, but we're getting a picture with her and I'm being so deferential and also in this era where you just want to be very hyper respectful of women's boundaries. Like I'm always making sure that like my hand is maybe sometimes not even, and so my hand was like not even touching her.

43:35You know, I was behind, I had my arm around her. Her breasts, is that what you were about to say? was not even touching her breasts. Both feet were on both breasts because I think the feet don't count. Yeah, I can dislocate my legs from my pelvis. So both legs were like Slim Jims up in the air. No! What I mean is that I kind of had my arm behind her, but I was being like, it's Jane Fonda. Yes, of course. And she, it was so great. She went, oh, come on. And she took my hand and she placed it on like, I guess where an appendix scar would be and held it down. You ought to know now. Yeah. And she placed my hand there.

44:18And what I loved about it was, I just was like, God damn, she's sexy. And it's all, it's, I mean, first of all, she looks amazing. She looks amazing. But it's also not about that. It is about her attitude. And I was just so enthralled with her. her age like 85 just disappeared no she has a like an etch-a-sketch like if you shake it it just went away and i thought uh and i and i think whatever she's doing and there's so many there you know there are other people like this whatever they're doing i want to be playing that game totally i want to be um making people touch my lower abdomen oh against their will is that what did i take the wrong thing away from this my guess would be yeah yeah okay all right well that was Isabel Allende is another person that I spoke with, the novelist, extraordinary writer, Pulitzer Prize winning writer.

45:15And she is 80, 82. I am telling you, the way she was talking about being in her 80s, it made me want to be 80. For real. Like what? Well, because she's let go of so much. She's relaxed. And her priorities have gotten, shall we say, hyper-focused. That's nice. Yeah. It's really nice. It's funny you say that because I was driving with my dad a bunch of years, a couple years ago, not that long ago, but like five years ago, I'm driving with my dad. And he's a very smart guy and scientist and a doctor. and I'm driving and he's sitting next to me. And I just said, you know, it's a truism that older people tend to drive slower.

46:05And I said, now, is that because of, you know, changes in the synapses where you process information a little more slowly so you go more slowly? And my father said, partially that, and partially when you get older, you realize there's no hurry. And I thought, shit, that's very profound. you have to yes there are things you understand as you start to understand i mean i'm just starting to understand them now but i mean having kids really helps but um that was a huge moment for me of it's really not about me this is what life is about yeah and um yeah but then that went away and the career came back into focus sure um i called my son career for a couple of years Jesus.

46:51I did. He has a name. I still haven't remembered it. But people would say your career is flourishing. I said, I love him, too.

47:01Career, get over here. Career, you've got to flush the toilet, career. But no, I but I do think there's stuff that you pick up that has to it just has to drip into you slowly over time. but you start to understand. Yeah. Now, again, there's a lot of older people out there that don't. I've known some very neurotic, impatient, worried older people. So it's not like all people do it, but if you can figure it out, you do let go of a lot of things that drive you crazy when you're in your teens and 20s and 30s. Right. If you're lucky, there's more of a, you know, I know this word is used a lot, but a more mindful approach to living life that you can adopt that can be hugely meaningful, I think.

47:49I think you started to cry, or else some water went down the wrong way. I'm very choked up by what I'm talking about. Let's get your lipstick back on. Yeah, exactly. Oh, God. I know you're a very busy person, and you've been very generous with your time. I really have been. And I, um, your people made it very clear to me that this was, you know, not high on your list of things to do. And the rate you charged, my God. Thanks for coming up to the number. 150 ,000 for a 45 minute chat. 45 minute conversation. That's incredible. That's exactly right. And that's at a discount, by the way. Yeah. And a private jet.

48:29And you drove here. You just charged us the amount of a private jet. But I'm, I don't know, time with you is time very well spent. I adore you. Back at you. Well, back at you doesn't really count as a compliment. Oh, God. Then I'm taking it back completely. Smart. Keep making the podcast because I really like it. Thank you. And it is, you've done all 10 for this season? Yes, I've done all 10. Okay. Wiser than me. These are really great conversations, and I love that you're out there having those conversations. Thanks. I think it's a very cool project. Yeah. So keep going, and I will one day put on a wig and some lipstick, and I will come in, and you will interview me as an older woman.

49:17Julia Louis-Dreyfus, I love you. Thank you for being here. I really do. Back. No, don't say back at you. Back to the future. I'm going to go watch that movie.

49:39I think we have something we need to address. Okay. As of when this episode comes out, tomorrow, big boy, it's your 60th birthday. You are obsessed with talking about my age. What do you mean? He is obsessed with talking about - It's a milestone birthday. You bring it up. What's this got to do with me? Because you've brought it up on the podcast. easily seven times. Easily seven times you said, well, I'm gonna be turning 50, but that means Conan's turning 60. I wanna keep this on the down low. Comedy's all about being young. And I'm putting it out there that I'm in my late 40s, and you, every single time we get on mic, are like, well, in three more months, someone's going to be 60, and then it's just a hop, skip and a jump to 70.

50:26How are you, big boy? Wow. This is you. left, right, and center lately, baby. What is happening? Pretty sensitive. Wow. You seem excited about it. I don't want to die. Touchy. Why? It's the grave. The grave beckons. But it's just a number, man. Oh, yeah. It's a number that you keep bringing up 60? Again and again and again. Six zero. Yeah, six zero. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'll be 60 by the time this thing drops. Tomorrow. Oh, right. You're turning 50 in May. That's right. Oh, okay. Yeah. And you just turned 40. and then Adam's also turned 40 recently. This is, we work in decades here. It's crazy. Eduardo, how old are you?

51:0335? 35. Yeah. Okay. Well, you're going to need to age five, get on sync with us. Get on sync. Yeah, get in phase. So like women that are all on the same menstrual cycle, we need to sync up. So you are now almost to turn 40. You're almost turning 40. Can I go backwards? No. Okay, fine. You can only go forward. You compared it to women being on their same menstrual cycle? Like, how do you even know what that is? I read about it once in Glamour magazine. Okay. I was reading an article called Seven Ways to Keep Your Man Happy. And that was to menstruate with other women? Yeah. Men love it. Men love it when women sync up.

51:41Yeah, men love it. That was number six on the seven ways to keep your man happy. Actually, are you sure you're not 70? I'm 80. Okay. Yes, let's address it. I realize I came down on you a little hard, but I will be honest. You've seemed a little obsessed with my birthday. I just want to wish you happy birthday. I think it's a milestone birthday. Here's the thing, two things you're saying. You're saying it's just a number and it's a milestone. But that's a good thing. Take a side, dude. What? That's a good thing. This one's exciting. It's a big one. You just want to see me in my grave. Oh, well, that's true.

52:13And I want to put you there. Well, you're doing it. Hey, buddy. Big one coming. Big six-o, buddy. You started like a year ago. A year from now. The big six-o buddy boy. I mean, it's just interesting that we all turn our decades. It's so interesting. It is. It is. That a guy like you would get so old. Oh, God, this guy. Oh, this guy over here, this pistol. Yes, I'm fine with it, as you can tell. Yeah. But I do, it's something I think about sometimes, which is, you know, I've been such a foolish physical comic in my life. And then I think I just want someone to tap me on the shoulder when they say it's looking sad now, you know.

53:04Well, now you can do pratfalls, but they'll be real. Well, yeah, but I won't get up afterwards. You'll hear a shattering sound and a hip will go rolling into the gutter. Be honest. No. If we had said nothing and just let your birthday go by, you wouldn't have liked that, right? I would have had something to be bitter about. Which, as Sona will tell you, is the greatest gift. The greatest gift you can give me is something, a little hatred, a little gross. You know what the best is? If he gives you a gift and you never acknowledge it. Never say thank you. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Or you get a gift and you're just kind of like, I have this already.

53:40And then you just kind of set it aside. Yeah, a good gift would have been to forget my birthday and then I could have hated you for it. But I also get to hate you for bringing it up. That you're 60? Yeah. Okay. There you go. One more time. 60. Exactly. Can I say something though? You take good care of yourself. I do. You are exactly the same, at least to me, in terms of your physicality and the things that you do from when I first started working for you. That's why I don't think you'd be upset because you look good. You sound good. Listen, I'm thinking of having a lot of work done. Oh. And I know that that's not necessary for a podcast.

54:14What are you going to get done? your boobs I want big boobs I want huge boobs and I also want those butt implants, what I would get done is butt implants because I have no ass, you know that son of a you're going to go for like a Kardashian body I would like, what do they do? how does a butt implant work? What's in there? what do they put in there? I thought they put fat from other parts of your body it's not in that magazine you read yeah seven ways to keep your man happy no it had very I think it was written by a maniac because it said like sync up your menstrual cycle with other women yeah I think Kardashians are so rich they just get like butt transplants someone else's butt is given to them or Bitcoin they get a Bitcoin put in there you could donate your butt for his birthday I need all the butt I can get too yeah this guy isn't you know okay so it says for BBL which I think is what you're talking about Brazilian butt lift correct it says fat is removed from the hips lower back, thighs, abdomen, and or other areas with liposuction?

55:18You don't have. I don't have. I don't have. But I don't think I have a lot of fat in other areas of my body. I think if I do, it's in my head. Yeah. It'd be really funny if I suddenly had a really skinny head. Oh. Like a really, really skinny head and then a giant ass. And I literally had fat from my cheeks put into my bottom. You know? And my big fat Irish paper mache head suddenly became really skinny. Okay. But I had this fat ass I was carting around. Your hair is the same size. Yes. The hair is still a big puff pastry. Okay. They don't put silicone in the boobs? No, it just says they inject the fat into specific points in the buttocks.

55:59How does it not fall, like sag down like saddlebags? Sounds like a remote for Conan. No. I'm going to get it done. And I will say I do a lot of sort of mental gymnastics in my head. So turning 60, I start to do the math in my head of, well, wait a minute. When was my dad 60? And he's 94 now and still doing well. But you do the math in your head and go, wait a minute. That wasn't that long ago. It doesn't feel that long ago that he was my age. But he seemed older, right? Yeah. And then you start to realize that you start to hear things like people that you thought when you were a kid were really old when they played that character in a movie were your age.

56:42And you think, oh, my God. I did that at 47 because Brando played the godfather at 47. Yes. And that was. But he was playing someone who was older. Yeah, but still. Well, also in like 40. I think Norm from Cheers was 40. I think Cliff was 40. I think Homer Simpson is supposed to be around 40. I mean, I think they make it like you've given up. What? Like at that age, it's sort of like, all right, well, I'm just going to be like a big fat so and just sit at the bar. Not that I know. I don't want to say that about Norm and Cliff, but you know what I mean? Like they made the character seem older back then.

57:20Right. Yeah. Right. You're going to probably live a long time. That's a terrible thing to say. Oh, I'm sure you're going to. I'm sure you'll survive at least the day. that I'll take okay well thank you you know I'm sorry I jumped down your throat Gourley that's alright just try to wish a guy a happy birthday and which birthday is it one two three four five six decades of human life on this planet Adam are you right he brings it up a lot I actually think you're both right I think it is a milestone and so it is like something to acknowledge it's a big it's a big birthday sure but you're right that he's brought it up so many times but I also think that you are I think that you are sensitive about it though I shouldn't be can we talk about my original ideas I wanted to get him a gift and just make this about giving you a gift and it was that cardboard aircraft carrier you always talk about that you had as a kid whoever's responsible for that just didn't do it didn't we look for it and we couldn't find it yeah something like that you guys look like you really tried hard so your choices were get Conan a joyous gift from his youth basically give Charles Foster Kane in his rosebud sled, or just grind it into his ear that he's getting old.

58:34Which one should we do? Also tell him you were going to get it, and then not actually get it. And then not get it. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Couldn't be bothered. Someone dropped the ball. Well, I still got it. I'm a podcaster now, see? That's the real gift. Yeah. The real gift is that people listening think I'm a real hipster, a real cool cat. anyway well thank you thank you and I am sincerely if I can be sincere for one second just great seriously just grateful that to be around so that's nice I really am okay no literally I am I'm like you've done a lot you shouldn't be so hard on yourself no I'm not I think I mean no but I am grateful to I'm grateful to have this birthday here's to another 60 more oh my god that would be oh my god so painful All right, well, thank you.

59:26Thank you very much. And happy birthday. Happy birthday. Yeah, and I'm sure the gifts are, huh, I don't see anything. We Googled it. We can find it. Show notes. You could have got me something else. We had such a good idea for a gift for you. Watches are nice. Oh my God, you would have just loved it. You would have loved it. All right, thank you. Happy birthday to me. Conan O 'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Klau, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.

1:00:03Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message It too could be featured on a future episode And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded

1:00:50This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.