Kaitlin Olson

26:02And it became, and the other thing is it cannot be copied. Right. No one else can do what you guys are doing. And there's so many different levels to it. But it's, I mean. Because it's Rob, Charlie, and Glenn. I mean, it's just like, and I just feel like I absolutely hit the jackpot on that show. It's exactly what you said is how I feel. I mean, we go in there. We have directors, and a lot of them are our friends, and they're wonderful. But at the end of the day, somebody yells cut, and we just gather and like what we like. And you keep that, and you keep that, and I'll do this, and then we go again.

26:36Yeah. And it's great. Well, as I said, my kids, they have superb comedy taste. Clearly. No, no, they really, no. I mean, I could list all the shows they like, and it's their, they take it really seriously. They don't watch my stuff. Which again, they're batting a thousand. But there's so many things that just kill them. One was that I think you guys, the gang had some idea. and one of you said, who's it against? Yeah, yeah. And it wasn't against anybody. We couldn't take that. None of you can understand the idea of it's not against somebody. Whose face are we shoving it into? Yes, exactly. And it's, I don't know, it's such a funny, I know those characters so well now and it is such a funny conceit that they will unite to defeat and humiliate someone else.

27:31Yeah. But someone could have a brilliant plan where you guys make a billion dollars, but if it's not against somebody, no one's in. No, it's not interesting. Yeah. So, um... Oh, so stupid. I love it so much. I'm very impressed with your kids. And I have a newly 14-year-old now who's been sneaking scripts and reading them for years. And we will pull up clips that he can watch, but he's so... And now he's just like... I mean, he's 14. So now he's seen probably half the episodes. He's completely obsessed. So, my... But not mature enough to be able to, like, go out into the world and speak like that.

28:05So he'll say things and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh boy, we will fine tune this and one day you will be so funny, but that's not something to say at school. And Dennis, please, let me explain. He's probably a rapist and murderer. But it's funny because, oh God. Yeah, there's just like times where it's not even explained. something will happen and and danny devito's character will like a gun will drop out and you're like why did he have a gun and it's not addressed why he had a gun it's not necessary no it just fell um yeah i uh there's so many different layers there and and i do think i had this thought a long time ago when i was as as the uh the old man here when i was young the show that really lit me up was sctv because they put you know snl was the big thing and then sctv was this other show that they really crafted and it had all these different layers and they put all these little smart weird runners in there that you had to pick up on and they didn't even know that anybody in america was watching it we only saw it because it bounced off of a antenna in buffalo new york and we managed to get it at my dad at my grandfather's little cottage in misquamacut and my brothers and I would watch it and go, this is, it's something that Always Sunny does and certain shows do it where they put these little things in there and I think they're talking to me.

29:35Yes. Yeah, they are. Yeah, exactly. And it's a conversation, you guys are having a conversation with me as a viewer and I feel not only respected, but like you're pulling me in on the secret. Yeah. Which is a beautiful thing. Yeah. I love that. Charlie does that a lot. We'll just improvise some kind of throwaway thing that's like a current event thing that it's just so funny and it gets left in there and we don't ever explain. It has nothing to do with the episode. And it's just, that's what I think of when you say that. It's like, someone's going to pick up on that and understand what he's talking about.

30:05Or he'll just make a quick reference to something from 60 seasons ago that some people will get. But the intelligent part, I think, is what's so great because there are a lot of comedies that make me laugh, a lot of character-driven stuff that I admire the character someone's doing. But the writing is so smart. And I can tell when someone hasn't seen it if they have something negative to say about it, usually online. because they didn't get it. Like, it's like, no, no, no, you watched a clip and you think you know what it is because we're making a commentary. Yes, yes. A bunch of dumb, narcissistic psychopaths are, but the writers are making commentary.

30:39So either you're too dumb or you didn't watch the episode. I think it's cool to get to a place which you've clearly gotten to where you can have your cake and eat it too. I mean, between Hacks and Always Sunny in this, I mean, you've gotten to really own this comedy space. And then there's some part of you that said, I'd like to do this that is not, it's not a comedy. You're, I don't, you can't not be funny in things. And you are, this character is funny, but it all comes off the character. Yeah, she's human. She's human, yeah. And the other characters I play really aren't human. I mean, they're not multifaceted characters.

31:22This is just a, there's a way to still be a grounded, hardworking woman with children and be funny. I think I can quickly set up. It's a terrific idea for a show. I know it's adapted from this French show, but the series, and this isn't giving away too much, but it opens with you getting up at four in the morning. We don't know what you do. It's clear you don't have a lot of money. you go to work and you're getting dressed and you're getting a big trash can and cleaning supplies and it's clear that oh you're a woman who cleans up in the middle of the night and then it's revealed it's clear that you're cleaning up at a bullpen a bullpen in a police station and then you knock into a box and all this stuff spills over and you're just cleaning it up jerk the headphones off music stops jerk the headphones off and you're just going to clean up this stuff and it's evidence.

32:18And your character has a gift. You're cleaning, but you also need to make sense of things. And you're highly intelligent and you start just quickly. And it basically leads to your character's very good and is kind of a savant at seeing these patterns and you start to help the police kind of against their will. Oh yeah, I get up and go to their case board and cross off suspect and right victim under one woman's picture. Yeah, I always think pilots are next to impossible because in a pilot episode, you need to lay out so much information that there's so many times that I've watched pilots and it's ding dong, hello.

32:57Hi, I'm here. I'm your neighbor, remember me? Yeah, I'm your neighbor. And guess what? We don't like each other, you know? Yeah. I don't like you since that time you stole that, you know, whatever, because you know how you like to steal things. I guess I'm the stealer. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And then music. That's terrible. No, but that's a show I actually wrote. Oh, I'm sorry. But she was laughing because she thought it was so funny. It's funny, right? Ran nine years on WB slash UPN. But anyway, when they were united, I made hundreds of dollars on The Stealer.

33:40But this pilot is a very good episode. I wanted people to want to come back. Like I could tune into stuff all the time where I'm like, yeah, it was great. And then I don't have a desire to come back for whatever reason. And I wanted you to really fall in love with this woman and who she is and be compelled to figure out because I drop a thing at the end of the first episode. And I want people to buy into that. and want to figure out what is that all about. And I have to say, Drew Goddard wrote that script and I was not interested when they came to me and wanted to have lunch. I was like, ABC, hour-long drama?

34:15No, thank you. And my agent was like, no, you're going to go have lunch with them. And I was like, what did you just say to me? He was like, it's good. You're going to read it and you're going to have lunch and I'm going to make you because I think you're going to really want to do it. I just had no interest in, first of all, working for a network. I'm very spoiled on FX. They let us do whatever we want and say whatever we want. And I have a hard time with executives who aren't creatives telling me what I can and can't do because, again, it goes back to it's all fine and it works. And a lot of people are fine with that.

34:47I just am so blessed to be in a position where I want to show up and have fun with my life that's at home and at work. I don't want to do something that is I just want everything to be great or just I'll wait and wait until something comes along that I can make special. So I was very gun shy. And then I read his script and was like, oh, I'm I'm I think I'm in. And then I have to point out that Alethea Jones directed that episode and she was absolutely incredible. So one of the ways that you see my character solve things is what we call Morgan vision and kind of these like flashes of what she's putting together in her brain.

35:20I was really nervous about those because I was like my mind went to like a horrible reenactment on a bad A &E crime show. So there's like someone who kind of looks like the murderer walking up. I was like, oh, God, I just was very scared of the Morgan Vision stuff. And I told her that and she was like, that's the stuff I'm most excited about. And I was like, OK, walk me through that. She just did such a tremendous job with that pilot. Also, some of the imagined recreations are really funny. Yeah, yeah. You know, because it's just what's going on in her. Yeah. Your mind, you're thinking of serious things like how a murder happened.

35:51Then there are these asides where you're thinking of other possibilities that are actually really good sight gags. that are funny. And they're quick. Just like quick little pops. Yeah, really quick. It's interesting to me because I would think what you want to do, it's that old phrase, like you're playing with house money. And I think sometimes in sports, if a team has, if they know that they've got it, if they know that they're going to the Super Bowl or something, they play differently because they, or conversely, if they feel like we got nothing to lose. Yeah. And it's nice probably to be in a part of your career where you feel like, no, I want to have fun.

36:24Yes. I want to have a good time. Mm-hmm. Yeah, there's quite a freedom in knowing that I really would walk away if it was not up to the quality that I wanted to put out there. Because that's not like a threat. It's just really like, no, thanks. I mean, thank you so much for thinking of me, but I don't. Yeah, yeah. It would be perfect if you walked out on this podcast right now. Oh, yeah, I should have done that. And away from my TV show. And guess what? This is not up to mine. It's not too late. Then we could put in a car starting noise. Oh, yeah. Tires screeching. Me calling my agent. It's interesting because when you put something out in the world and you're seen a certain way, fans react to you in a certain way.

37:10And for so many years as D, people know you a certain way. Oh, yeah. And that is not who you are. No. But I heard this anecdote once that the Three Stooges, the actual people who were the Three Stooges, you know, the Moe Howard and Larry and when they would go out in the world, people who were fans would come up and. Slap them? Slap them, hit them and do the eye poke. Get your fingers away from my eyes. Because they were like, no, no, I love you. Hey, Curly, I love you. And they would jab them in the eyes and it was a huge problem for them. But I'm thinking if you're, there's part of Dee, I mean, you're this very attractive, cool actress.

37:55Thanks, Conan. Well, you know what I mean. I do now. I don't know where Rob is right now. Feels like he's not showing you the proper attention. I'm sorry. That's right. Put it on Rob. He's off somewhere eating a potato. I know. And I'm here talking to you about how attractive you are. Thank you. And talented as an actor and what a career you've had. And I don't know. I don't know if you have that syndrome where people come up to you. Oh, yeah. D's a bird. Shut up bird. A lot. A lot of shut up bird. Mostly shut up bird. Yeah. On a daily basis. And you're like with your kids. Yeah. They love it.

38:36They think it's the best thing in the world. I bet you've done that. I was going to yell, hey, bird, shut up bird when you walked in. I was like, I shouldn't. I see. I love it. I wasn't going to do that. The most fun is when people do it in the comment section of whatever social media. And then I have so many fans jump on it and be like, you think she hasn't heard that before? You know, she's other things that I'm like, I find it hilarious. It doesn't bother me at all. Calling someone a bird is so not an insult. It's the stupidest. Don't you love it when people come to your defense on social media for something that didn't need defending?

39:07Yes. I'm like, they're calling me a bird. Who cares? But I was very worried. Very worried is maybe a little strong. But I did have a lot of thoughts about like, oh, I bet this show, this show might let a lot of my Sonny fans down or my The Mick fans down who just want me to do hard comedy. Balls to the wall kind of. Yeah, just tell dick and ball jokes all day long and set people on fire. You know, that's all anyone wants from me. Right. And have men yell at me and call me a bird. So I was like, oh, I don't know how the general public is going to receive this. I feel like I've got the moms and grandmas with this one.

39:45But people are really liking it, which I'm very happy about. Yeah, the reviews have been great. Yeah. Yeah, they really have. And it's, okay, I guess we're all human. So when you're waiting around. You need to take a shit. When you're waiting. Why do you always take us into the gutter? There's something for the old fans. There you go, guys. There you go. There you go. And they're like, hey. There she's back. It started to get real serious there, but then it was okay again. Dee is back. No, but, you know, there's this. The uninitiated or people who wouldn't know would say, oh, by this point, you know, you wouldn't worry what people would say.

40:22Of course you would. Of course I would. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, you must be very happy because people are loving it. I was. Oh, yeah. Yeah, even filming the pilot, between filming the pilot and watching it, when I got it, I didn't watch it right away. I was so nervous. I was just like, I really enjoy being in control. And I felt very out of control with this one because it's a different genre, just a lot of trust. And like I said, I mean, I'm just used to 17 seasons on a show where we're all doing it together. This was me just trusting this woman. And I'm very glad that I did. She was incredible.

40:54But, yeah, I care. I care very much. I was scared to show it to Rob. Rob's the harshest critic I've ever met in my life. And when he liked it, I was like, we did it, guys. We did it. Now, would Rob—OK, this is interesting because this is someone who is your comedic partner, but also your life partner. Brutally honest. Brutally honest? Brutally honest. Doesn't matter if we're married. Yeah. He wouldn't be cruel about it, but he'd say something like—you know what he would do? He would give me a million notes, even though it was already finished and edited. He would give me so many notes. Right, you're like, no, it's on TV.

41:31We're watching it on television. We're watching it on television right now. It's airing on ABC right now. No, no, no, no, no. Just trust me. Just call the editor. For reruns. Yeah, that's right. Never give up. That's a fascinating dynamic. It's very true. Yeah, yeah. But he liked it. When I show my wife things that we're going to do, I mean, she wouldn't say, oh, that's bad, but I can tell. She'd smile and nod. She's got very, you know, Liza has these beautiful big eyes. And sometimes. They get sad. There's a little sadness in them, even though she's smiling. And I know, yeah. And I'm like, no, this isn't good.

42:05And then she goes to her closet and pulls out one of 70 fleeces she has now. Because she's rolling in dough. All she did was go get. Yeah. It's my Gucci fleece. I love Liza. Yeah, Liza's great. Yeah, yeah. She flies to Paris and has fittings and then comes back and it's still a fleece vest. And she puts the Patagonia label over the Gucci label. Just smells like perfume. Yeah, yeah. And then she says, let's go get some cured salmon. Hang out by the water. Sounds great. Yeah. Well, that is amazing that you have figured, that you two have that dynamic. Yeah, it's, he's... Can you do it with him? Can you look at his stuff?

42:52Can you look at Rob's stuff and say, yeah. Ooh, good question. This is going to sound super lame. I think Rob's got incredible taste, so there's not really anything he's made that I haven't liked. But no, that's not my personality. I think I would find things. I do that thing where you go see a friend in a play and you have to find things that you liked about it because their acting sucked. And then you just give them those things. I'd do that. I hope you've seen more than one person in a play, because they're going to know. I've only seen one play in my life. Oh, no. It was three weeks ago. I only have one friend.

43:30And it was her best friend in the world. Oh, no. Yeah. Jenny Tyler is Gandhi. Jenny. Jenny. I shaved my head. What? You have a very round head, Jenny. that part where you're not eating was really probably really good for your diet yeah

43:54any tyler is gone well she is it's playing on highland go see it don't see it it's at the coronet theater check it out um well it is uh it is a delight it's a delight it's my my favorite thing is when i'm and i've said this a million times, but there are days where I'm coming in to talk to somebody who I am a big fan of and kind of giddy to see. And I also know that first thing I'm going to be doing when I get home is texting, you know, my kids and saying, guess who I was with today? And then I get points. So I am the best compliment. Seriously. Yeah. And you know what? The show probably premiered before Beckett was even born.

44:39Well, that's that's the other thing. That's the other thing too um is that my daughter's 21 my son is newly 19 and they i always liked evergreen comedy i always like comedy that doesn't that doesn't live off of this happened today and we're commenting on it that was my favorite stuff and i always wanted to make stuff that maybe would be funny if someone found it 30 years later definitely it's always sunny the fact that my kids are binge watching it and to know every single twist and turn. What's the family you guys have the rivalry with? McPoyles. Yes. Oh, my God. The best. It's the best. Oh, God, they're the best.

45:18It's real. The episodes where you realize at the end it's them and they just run away. Anyway, this, okay. None of this adds up. So stupid. It's so stupid, but my life has been spent trying to prove to people that there is an intersection between stupid and smart. Yes. And it's it comes and goes and it's hard to find. And it's like the Northwest Passage. You know, many lives have been lost looking for it, but I believe in it with all my heart. Yeah. And it's hard to do. Yeah. And so when you find it, it's it's special. So that's a big compliment. Thank you. Well, congratulations on your new show.

45:56High Potential. And I watched it on Hulu. Yeah. But I did. And is Hulu the one or it's also on ABC. ABC and Hulu the next day. Yeah. It's just very smart and fun to watch and fun to watch your character who is also very funny but grounded in reality, figuring all this stuff out and I'm a crime fan, so when you were putting down these true detective shows, these recreation shows, I live off of those. Okay, good. Good, good, good. Same. And one of my, it really is my favorite compliment, which is happening a lot now because we're in our 17th season, where grownups will come and say, my kids are now old enough to watch Sunny and we watch it together as a family.

46:41And it's our show that we watch as a family. And now that my kids are 12 and 14, I'm like, oh, I get it. I feel like there's only a couple more years left where we will all want to watch stuff together. And you're just holding onto it. And I'm like, whatever show you guys want, they're like, yes, let's get popcorn and watch it on the couch together. We are. I was shocked because my wife, who is an amazing mom, did an incredible job, was so sensible and really careful about, no, no, they can't eat this because I did read that it has a little bit of zinc in it. She and I really need to be best friends.

47:15Yeah, yeah. But, but, and she also, but she very quickly said, no, always sunny. The kids can watch always sunny. It's fine. And then she, without my knowledge or permission, she hyper-jumped to Veep. Oh! And I come home and she and my daughter and my son are watching Veep. Without you? Well, yeah, I wasn't there. I was doing something. I was out alley-cattin', you know me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a guy with needs. I understand. A man, you know, whatever. She's over there talking about minuscule levels of zinc. Yeah. It's very unattractive. Yeah. So anyway, I'm out doing what a guy does. Yep. And Rob knows what I'm talking about.

47:55And so, cause I see him at the same pub. Sure, sure. We high five. And no, but I come on there watching and Veep, Veep is, there's whole runs in Veep, which is like, I'm gonna take your balls and shove them up your asshole so far that you choke on the cum that comes out your ears and dribbles down you're on you know it's like insane and she was like yeah but it's funny and i'm like it is funny but i i told julia louis dreyfus who i know i told her like you know lisa's letting the kids watch veep and she's like what i know i know veep is another step beyond step up yeah yeah yeah yeah well listen you open the floodgates with sunny what was she supposed to do you guys were starter show.

48:42You guys were the drug. A very good drug, by the way. An excellent drug that gave them a powerful but safe high. And then she went on to crack. She went to fentanyl. Yeah, she went to fentanyl. Thank you so much for coming in. Thanks for having me. An absolute joy to see you. So fun. And my best to Rob and to the gang that's making the show and tell them I say hello and thank you so much for going down into the mines and making such good stuff for all of us. You're the best. I'm not leaving. Let's just do another hour. Okay. Hour number two. We talk about what's going on in the world. Oh, God.

49:21And it gets really dark. I gotta go. Okay, no hour two. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me.

49:39I was cleaning out some stuff in my office the other day and I found that I had this CB dictionary. Oh my God. I'm not surprised at all. Make sure that we enunciate CB. Yeah. It sounded a little bit like CD for a second. Oh, CB, Citizens Band Radio, which is the way people talk like truckers and smoking the bandit. You know, we've talked about that movie before. Yeah, and not just the movie, I remember very clearly there was a, the CB fad was huge in the late 70s. And there was a song called Convoy. That's right. Remember that song? I do. Yeah. We got a little old convoy running through the night.

50:14We got a great big convoy. Ain't she a beautiful sight? Convoy. Sona, where are you going? What's going on? Oh, I'm sorry. Anyway, it was a big deal. And I remember that one of my grandparents passed away. and some of us, why don't you wrinkle pages even louder? What are you? Oh my God. Look at him. He's right. This is the guy who produces the podcast. I edit this. I cut my mic. You don't need to worry about it. You weirdo. Look at this. Look at this. What are you, Chris Crinkle? Anyway. Why'd you laugh so hard? That wasn't that funny. I thought it was good. Chris Crinkle? It was funny. Chris Crinkle's not good.

50:49You heard of Chris Crinkle. This guy's Chris Crinkle. Louder, Blay. Louder. There you go. Suck up. So anyway, one of my grandparents passed away and we were all like kids and we were, for some reason it got switched around. So we are in the funeral procession, you know, funeral procession. What's it called? In the cars. Is it the funeral procession with the cars? I think so. Okay. Anyway. It's a convoy. Hearst was driving with one of my grandparents in it. I can't remember which one. And then other cars. and our cool cousin was driving the station wagon that my brothers and I, my sisters and I were all jammed into and were headed to the graveyard when the song Convoy came on and my cousin reached over and turned it up all the way.

51:35And there's a part of the song where they go, so let them tuckers rule 10-4 because we got a great thing. And we were all rocking out and I love my granddad. And it felt sacrilegious, but also great at the same time. He wouldn't have wanted that. No, he wouldn't have liked that at all. Oh. Yeah, he was a... Well, I thought I could quiz you guys on CB lingo and see if you can figure it out. Because actually, speaking of hearse, there is a CB term for hearse. Oh, yeah? Anybody know what it is? Is it called an old rolling pine? That's good. The dead guy. The dead guy. The dead guy. The dead guy. No, yeah.

52:11Let's see. I remember that. Well, obviously, a smoky is a policeman. Yeah, so we'll go over it. First of all, a hearse is called a bone box. Bone box. We got a bone box. Here are just some of your regular things. Like the police are called, you could call them a Smokey or a Bear. Smokey the Bear. CB Radio are your ears. Got my ears on. A Bear in the Air. A Bear in the Air is a whirly gig. It's a helicopter with the cops inside. A police helicopter, yeah. Oh my God. Instead of police back up, can we back up? A helicopter with police inside.

52:46It's a helicopter, but instead of a citizen contained within, at the core of it, are police. This is what truckers say to each other when they're driving long range semi drivers. Yes. Okay, okay. Like a bear in the bush? Bear in the bush is, oh, that would be a smoky that's hiding out trying to catch people in a speed trap. Yeah, that's exactly right. Okay, so now I'm going to quiz you guys. Those are kind of the easy ones. All right, here we go. Blood box. Blood box would be Ambulance That's right One for Sona Okay Bed bug holler Bed bug holler It would be a motel Like a cheap motel I think it's a furniture truck A moving van I'll accept that Oh my god I'm crushing I just learned what this was Bikini state Bikini state is Florida That's right Oh I just know Because I'm a bikini inspector Are you looking at the thing?

53:38No I was not looking at it I was not I don't have my glasses on either Breaking wind Breaking wind Speeding breaking wind. Going downhill. I'm sorry, neither of you. It's the first seabier in a convoy. Okay. They're breaking the wind. All right. Brush your teeth and comb your hair. That's something you'd say. What does it mean? That's just, I mean, good hygiene. Yeah. I think that means I need to rest. No. No, say it again. Brush your teeth and comb your hair. Brush your teeth and comb your hair. It helps me think of it like, 10-4, good buddy. Brush your teeth and comb your hair. Be a good, see you around.

54:13Brush your teeth and comb your hair. There's a smoky up ahead What? What? Look good, there's a smoky up ahead Oh, that's stupid See you around? What? Just say there's a smoky up ahead Why brush your teeth and comb your hair? Well, that's the whole point They could be listening, right? Yeah, but a policeman doesn't When they pull you over for speeding They don't care about your attire And how well-quapped you are No, the smokies are listening in on the CB radio Got it And then they hear you If you say, hey, there's a smoky They'll be like, oh, the convoy is smart Yeah I don't know I'm trying to figure it out What are California turnarounds?

54:47On ramps. No. Off ramps. Way stations. Conan? California turnaround. Yeah. That's when you hit the state of California because you've made your drop and then you're headed back the other way. Not really. Yes, it is. They're benzos or speed because if you're going as far as California, you got to take some of those to go there and back. Oh, I see. You mean like a Benny or a big. Yes, I said benzos. Yeah. Benny. Yeah, Benny or Jub Jub. You guys are real hip. Those are called Green Squanto, yeah. Choke and Puke. Choke and Puke. Let's see. That's in Smokey and the Bandit. They use that a lot. Choke and Puke.

55:26Yeah. I'm going to Choke and Puke. Going to a Choke and Puke. Going to a Choke and Puke. I like a bad diner. It's a restaurant, but I'll give it to you. Thank you. Christmas card. Just like a way to wish people well. Use it in a sentence, please. I'm doing double nickels on the i5, and I got myself a Christmas card. I'm going to have to pay that come Tuesday. A traffic ticket. That's right. But why was it called a Christmas card? Well, it's just CB poetry. I'm sorry. I'm glad. You know what? There's a reason this died out. You know what I mean? They had bad terms. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

56:00I don't even know that one. Now we're going to get into some of the more colorful ones. What's the score? Huh? What's the score? I'm winning. It's three, Sona, Conan, two. Also, we don't know that this died out. There's truckers all over this great country. Yeah, but why don't they just email each other? Or text. But you don't want to be on your phone while you're driving. Of course they can be on their phone. They have devices that handle all kinds of things while they're driving. Let's get to that. What do you think vacu-suck is for? Aww. Well, I have one. I'm using it now. Oh man! Three double A batteries takes care of old Captain Jack down there.

56:35Jesus. Captain Jack. Captain Jack. What does abuse it mean? Um, well, okay. Uh, abuse it. Just say it. Well, I'm, I don't want to. Masturbate. That's right. I gave that to Sona because I didn't want to offend a lady. You didn't want to say masturbate? I didn't, no. You just called your dick Captain Jack. Yeah, he's in the army. That's his rank. You just did a whole vacu-suck thing. He's his rank. I got a vacu-suck for Captain Jack. He did his time. Well, you don't want to say masturbate, but you can't. He was in Vietnam. What's a douche job? Oh, man, don't get me started. A douche job is when...

57:17Why did you put two fingers up very specifically? Car wash. Yes, that's right. Okay. I was going to say an actual, like, anal. No. An actual anal.

57:33Okay, some of these have crossed over into popular culture, but what's a beaver? A vagina. Well, no. No. I mean, it is... It's a woman driving a truck. It's just a woman, yeah. Okay. Bra buster. What is it? Bra buster? Bra buster. Oh, man. Talk about it. Excuse me? What? Talk about it? A bra buster? Bra buster is a woman who is real tough. No. Bra buster is a speed bump. No. You go over it too fast, it's going to bust your bra. No. It's just a large-breasted woman. Well, wait a minute. How does that... I thought they have to relate to trucking somehow. Now you're going to get into, yeah, that's an old itchy face.

58:13What's that? A guy with a beard. Well, why are they talking in code? No one's changing the goalposts. No, if I'm driving a truck and I see, you know, lady with the titties, I go, hey guys, bra buster. That beaver's a real bra buster. Yeah, but that's not, it's not coded enough. Oh. It's still, do you know what I mean? Some of them are, some of them are. I mean, this just evolved with the language. It's not like somebody sat down at a council. No, but there's a more clever way to do that if there's a large-breasted woman. Well, maybe they're not like, they're doing it on the radio, but the woman doesn't hear it.

58:45They're just like, hey guys, heads up. Those are some big knobs on the radio. Yes, you know what I mean? Something like that. That's nice. You know, high beams on. Do you know what I mean? Something they could do better. The twin pillars of society. There's so many different ways to do it, but Brawl Busters is just being unimaginative. Another reason why CB culture has died. All right, so this is a tiebreaker. And the last one, coffee break. Coffee break. Oh, tell me about it. I'm just trying to use up time. Coffee break. Coffee break. Coffee break. Now, this doesn't necessarily have a one-to-one for what the name is to what the thing is.

59:23So you just have to think creatively. Remember, we're in the kind of like, you know, sexual section. Oh, we are. Oh, coffee break. Does it have anything to do with... This one's... Oh, my God. And again, they have a device for that too. So they don't have to because coffee's dark. Because coffee's dark. Oh God. No, not only are you not right, you're disqualified. Thank you. Coffee break. I don't know. It's just a visit with a prostitute. But why? I'm taking a coffee break. You can't get upset. I can get upset. They're on the road for a date. I want these to be rewritten. Well, the good news is I've only gone A through D on these.

1:00:06so we've got lots more to do. Oh my God. That's okay. I think this is our last visit to CB. What made you, why do you have a CB dictionary? That was my question. Yeah. Just, I don't know. Maybe someone gave it to me as a gift or I bought it. You know, I love the movie Smoking the Bandits. It's one of my favorite movies. Okay. And so I wanted to, I wanted to be able to speak the patois. Oh God. Jesus Christ. Okay. Well. If you're going around saying coffee break or bra buster, I just, I can't know you. I do think some of these could be better. 1010 in the shade, Pickle Park and Taylor Made. See, that sounds good, but some of these just weren't very good.

1:00:41I'm going to be honest. Coffee break for a prostitute. There's a better way to do that, right? I think coffee break is cool. It's a euphemism. What I'm saying is that's a bad idea because coffee is a regular part of what a trucker would be drinking. So is prostitution. No, that's a terrible thing to say. Why are you telling other people that you're going on a coffee break? Like, why are you telling the other people on the radio that you're going to see a prostitute? Why don't you just do it? I think you guys got to put yourself in the mindset of the 70s and the American South. And you're just talking to your buddies on a CB radio going, I'm going to go on coffee break 10-4.

1:01:18Come back. I'd say I'm going to go hire a prostitute. And then I'm going to have some coffee afterwards with said prostitute. My old college roommate, Tom Crow. Jesus. Who's that? He came out of nowhere. His sister. Hey, what's your handle there, good buddy? Does this shut the fuck up? Snowcap. Yeah, no. My old college roommate, Tom Crow, his sister, her job is coordinating long-haul truckers. I can ask her how much of these are still in use today because she talks to a lot of truckers. That sounds good. Yeah, find out if there are a lot of truckers out there taking coffee breaks. And you know what this segment really wants?

1:01:52A follow-up segment. Okay. Yeah, it screams follow-up. Sorry. And ask her about VacuSuck. Is that the actual name? Is that the actual name? From the guy who won't say masturbate. Okay. No. I can't do it myself, but with machinery. Oh, my God.

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