Larry David

25:53I can't take pictures.

25:58And how's that working for you? You know, it started out okay. And then I sort of couldn't get through without laughing.

26:12Because I realized how stupid it was, but you know, people actually, people actually bought it. I go, you know, I can't take pictures inside. there's something about your past that doesn't make sense there's a lot of things that do make sense but i didn't know that you were in the u.s army reserve oh yeah and i cannot imagine you in any situation where people are telling you this is how you must behave and this is what's required yeah it really tough i just can't imagine you tough uh falling into line you did that for a couple of years right yeah i was in the reserves to avoid going to vietnam i'm kind of old oh yeah yeah no i know um i know we'll bring that up second that's my next question you seem very old to me that's my next question which isn't even a question i'm realizing none of these are questions these are just statements yeah so um yeah i was in i was in the uh the reserves to You could avoid Vietnam.

27:11And I was in it. I went to basic training. I had occupational specialty school. I was a petroleum storage specialist, by the way. Oh, there you go. Yeah. So then I had to go to meetings once a month for the next six years. And the meetings were near my parents' apartment in Brooklyn. And I was living in Manhattan. So once a month, I would go home. And I had a big, I think the word was at the time, Jew-fro. Now you have, that's... Wait, do I tally this? No, no, no, no. He has one anti-Semitic comment to my 2.5. The score is 1 to 2.5. This is anybody's game. Wow. I'm excited. I can't believe we're competing.

28:02I got this now. I want this. So anyway, I would stay with my parents for the weekend and I had a wig and I would wear the wig. And I was doing this once a month. And then in the summer, there was a summer camp that you had to go away for two weeks. So all these guys were in my unit. And then I heard about a psychiatrist who was writing letters for like$250. And so I went to see him and I talked to him for 45 minutes and he wrote me up this letter. And the letter basically said that I was crazy. and I took the letter and I'm in for two years now so I know all these people. Imagine coming to work and acting insane.

28:40Yeah. Which is what I did. I had the letter and I was... I was...

28:55Where's the major? Where's the major? I need to talk to the major. Did it work? I saw friends. These are friends of mine. I socialize with these people. I see them all huddled together, pointing and looking. Pointing at me. What's he doing? What's with David? Look at him. And then I went to see the major. And the major was reading the letter. And he's talking to me. And I'm answering his questions. And after five minutes, he says to me, can you drive home? Oh, my God. Wow. And I swear I said this line way before Dustin Hoffman said it in that movie. I said, oh yeah, I'm a good driver.

29:42And that was it. Good for you. Yeah. Do you still have that letter? You must. I don't think I do. Okay. We'll find it. Yeah. I have to say, tremendous performance on my part. Yeah. Tremendous. I can tell. In here it was spectacular. Yeah. It's really good. Good lighting and everything. Yeah. Yeah. The job I can imagine you having, which you did, was you were a limo driver. I don't know if you ever did this, but this has happened to me many times. I go to the airport and I get picked up and my wife and I are in the back and we're chatting. And then out of nowhere, the driver says, well, I have a cream for that.

30:18They've clearly been listening. It's like your phone when it knows you've been talking about, maybe I should go buy a new camping tent. And then your phone suddenly suggests, REI is just a block and a half away. And it's this eerie feeling. Right, right. Were you a listener? Would you listen in and interject? Their conversations really weren't interesting enough. Yeah, yeah. She was an old woman. She was practically blind. She could see a little bit. Right. And I took complete advantage of her because she couldn't see. She didn't know if the car was filthy or not, and it was filthy. So I would hear from the backseat, is the car clean?

30:58I go, yeah, yes. spotless yeah yeah yeah yeah always means not true that's a giveaway and she said to me you got your hat on yeah because i had a chauffeur's cap sure yeah i said yeah yeah i got that i got the cap on yeah i got the cap on and then and then one of her one of her friends squealed on me who would do that she saw she saw the car the condition of the car it was a datsun

31:36she saw how filthy the car was and she squealed on me and um and that was it i log i got fired yeah i know that you studied history because i studied history i love history i don't know how how it's come into it, but it's felt like it's helped me a million times. Were you a history major? Yeah. And it's been like a lifelong passion of mine, but I read history and then I feel like that fills up my comedy well somehow. I don't know how, I can't explain it. I completely agree with you. I'm really happy that I majored in history and not communications or any of that stuff. You know, people, like if they want to be an actor or a comedian, and they take it so seriously.

32:19There's no class. There's nothing to learn. Either you can do it or you can't, I think, right? That's mostly how I come down on it. I think you can improve. You can hone your skills. Yeah, because you're doing it. You're practicing. 90 % of what I do, I was doing around my kitchen table in a big family in Boston or with my friends. and then it's just been heightened and indulged by enablers all around me. But it does feel to me like that's most of it. Yeah, I guess I would never want to be in a comedy class to hear those forced laughs. I'd rather just go up on a stage and do it. You know, those people, they're just going to be forcing their laughs, you know, like everybody.

33:09And I got to say, I don't even mind it. I can already tell the difference. They're very good. In fact, I'm reversing my whole opinion on this. They're very good. Yeah, they're very good. Really? You guys are the best fake laughers I've ever been around. I don't know how you avoid that because there's a lot of sitcom table reads and sketch comedy table reads. I think I was lucky because all the years I was doing Late Night, we were pretty brutally honest about things. and people were very happy to tell me they thought that something I was thought of wasn't a good idea. They really enjoyed that.

33:45And then every now and then I would see, I would visit someone who was working on a sitcom and I would see, they're reading the script for like the fifth time. You've seen this phenomenon. I doubt it happened at Seinfeld because whatever you were doing there was right. But there's this phenomenon where you're being a good person and a good sport and you're helping grease the wheels for the whole project. Like you're being a good member of the Communist Party if you laugh. And so it's the fifth time a script is being read and people are like, you know, and I found it really upsetting for lack of a better word.

34:24Honestly, I don't think we ever did. You know, I'm a modest fellow. You know that. I'm not a... It says it on your jacket. I'm not a braggart. No. There's no braggadocio. No, I don't go on about myself. Not at all. But I don't think we ever did a second read-through. We did the one read-through, and if it didn't work, we would fix it, and we wouldn't have another one. We'd just do the show. So I really don't know what the fuck you're talking about. There you go. Well, do you know what I'm talking about outside of the projects you've worked on? Have you seen this phenomenon? Absolutely, yeah. Yeah, you're right.

35:06You're not helping the project by laughing. Right. But what do you do in situations? I'm sure this has happened to you tons of times where you'll be given a friend will give you a script. Yeah. And then what? You have to, of course, you have to read it. And then if it's not any good. Well, what do you do? You say I can't read a script indoors.

35:30Well, we'll step outside. Hey, today isn't a good day to step outside. Well, it's difficult sometimes to come up with exactly the right wording for it. That's why texting is good, because you can do a few drafts until you get it right, I think. Rather than running into one street, hey, did you read it? Oh, it's fantastic. I don't know. I can usually find constructive criticism that I can make about something, but I wouldn't be able to say like, well, this just isn't funny. No, you can't say that. I can't say that. Because that's not, how does that help the person in any way? But also sometimes you're given something to see or read after it's already locked and there's nothing you can do.

36:15Nothing you can do. Nothing you can do. So you have to go, oh yeah, this is great. What are you going to do? Right. So you got to lie. Right. I've been in a few screenings with you yeah you and i've been together and one of the things were screened before and it's been interesting to watch you you always have oh yeah i think i think i know what you're very good you're very good very very very good uh i could maybe we could without mentioning well i think we can this i really i love this story but you go and see a lot of things i go and see a lot of things there have been a couple of times where i've seen something screened and you've been in the room And we saw one thing.

36:51It was very long. It was a studio movie. Yeah, a studio movie. It was very long. And so we see this final cut of this big budget studio movie when we were both there. And there was someone there taking questions who worked for the studio. And they wanted feedback. And I'm eager. I always think I don't want to look like a dick. I don't want them to see who I really am. So I will, you know, what am I going to do? man this is getting late and i really want to get out of here and you did this thing where the thing ends lights come up and you immediately shot your hand up and you said but there were a couple of questions before i did that yes one or two questions you shot your hand up and you said i have one question and then i've got to go and as you asked a quick question and as you were asking it, you were putting your down jacket on.

37:48You put your down, and so you said, I've got one question, and then I have to go, and I'm looking at you, and you - And I looked at him, we made eye contact. We made eye contact. And I saw the admiration and envy. Okay, okay. So anyway, so anyway, he's, the studio person's answering the question as you leave, and you go, I think you're right i think you're that's a good point and you're like bye and you left i was there for another 45 minutes while people were saying um you know when the aliens come to the other planet it wasn't quite clear and uh so you might want to in post and so i i leave and and the next morning i wake up and my phone is right by my bed and i turned it on and there's a text from larry and it says, quote, I have one question and then I have to go.

38:41Quote. And then it says, how fucking genius was that? Exclamation point. Question mark. And then it says, you must have been so jealous. So the next morning you knew, you went to bed that night with your covers tucked under your chin thinking, I made O 'Brien, I left him in the dirt. I have to say. It was such a proud moment for you. Yeah, I was so thrilled with it because it was so brilliant. Yeah, it was just such a great move. Boy, sometimes it's like writing. Sometimes you're in a corner, right? Yes. And you have to write yourself out of this. Yes, yeah. And that's what happened. Yeah. And I think it made it feel all the sweeter that I had to stay late.

39:27I think that you have to admit. That was the cherry on the sundae. That was the cherry on the sundae, yeah. that was that was great it would it wouldn't have been nearly as satisfying if you weren't there you are wrapping up curb this is the last season oh oh yeah is this news to you

39:45oh yeah oh boy you're regretting it you can always you can come back and take you can just pretend you never told them this is yeah you should do all you know you should do a whole last season salute get all the love get all that love gravy all of that this was a benchmark show what a landmark you know what i changed everything and then come back and do another three more seasons you're really great on the callbacks by the way i think this is your second or third it's my ninth yeah it's your ninth yeah great one of the things that because my son really got into curb and we started watching them again and i thought intentional non-intentional but your style of comedy it so fits younger people today things are played very real i could talk to probably like a 15 year old who would say i love that show the multicam started i mean it's such an old format yeah it started in like the early 50s right yeah so i love lucy yeah desilu went all the way to the 2000 i guess there's still shows like that but this show's improvised and And I think that lends a sense of reality and spontaneity to it that the young people enjoy.

40:58Well, I think there's also, I can remember when I was growing up, I accepted it, but I'm still, I'm watching Happy Days and a character enters. There's massive applause and the Fonz has to wait for the, and we just accepted that. Well, Kramer used to get applause when he would enter. That's right. That's right. Right. And so everybody would wait and then he would start talking. And then finally, I think we have to tell the audience not to applaud when he came in and we put a stop to it. But no one else would put a stop to that. What I'm saying is that was so encouraged that it got to a point in the 70s and 80s on sitcoms where characters would come in with important information like, you know, the tests are back and it's fatal.

41:47And the character would come rushing in and people go like, whoa, look, it's Dr. Cuckoo. And occasionally, and you'd see those characters would have to kind of nod and look out. And then, by the way, the tests are back. It's cancer of the spleen, you will not survive. You know, this is madness, but we just, there's the things that we, I think I knew on some level, this isn't good, even when I was a kid, but - Also, there are scenes that are outside and there's an audience laughing. Yeah. Where's the audience? Where are they? What are they, on their corner? It's crazy. There's such an emphasis on jokes, jokes, jokes.

42:32And I knew that because really the only show like that that I had worked on was The Simpsons. We worked so hard on jokes having to be just going over and over and over to get the best jokes. And then you find that, and I love that format and I love working on that show and think it's brilliant. But on your show, what I loved, it's that old Jack Benny thing, the biggest laugh can be on a reaction. The other thing, well, it's nice of you to say, I think it's the first compliment you've ever given to me in our relationship. So it really, it means so much to me. So much to me. Is it the first? And thank you.

43:10I think it is the first. From the bottom of my, whatever this is. I'm told. I'm told. You're like the Grinch now. I know.

43:25Are you listening to Whoville? The Larry David. The thing about the three-camera show, yes, the jokes. Tons of jokes. They're coming at you one after another. There are people in rooms. There are writers in these rooms until 3 o 'clock in the morning, punching up scripts, joke after joke after joke. And they tell the joke. And the character says the joke. And nobody ever laughs. Nobody ever laughs in these shows, which is odd. Because these things are so funny. how come nobody ever laughs right well they don't laugh because laughing is the hardest thing to act i think and be real that and drunk i've always been told yeah being drunk is uh i don't know okay sorry i gotta get the fuck out of here sorry i didn't i just wanted to tell you that you weren't quite right is it a big surprise who's on the final season is it a surprise oh oh wait a second Wait a second.

44:24Have I been sitting here this whole time? Have we not acknowledged that this man, this man right here. Conan. Thanks. Thank you.

44:40This guy is in the show. Really? Yes. He's a guest star. I might be one of the reasons it's the final season. It's the tape in the bottom of the barrel, huh? And he gave me a compliment before. And I know you think, oh, well, he gave me a compliment. Now I'm going to return the compliment. He was so-so.

45:04No, it was great. It was great. We had a great time. You were very good. And thank you for doing it. Well, I'm sure I was compensated. It's the only reason I'm here today, actually.

45:18It's a tit for tat. I had to do the tat. He did the tit and I had to do the tat. I always do the tat. You always do the tat. And I don't like being a tat, by the way. It's uncomfortable being a tat. I'd much rather be the tat.

45:36Stupid. I'm sorry. Let's take that out of context. I am enraged because we talked to fans on this show and I did talk to a fan. Oh, yeah. And this really stuck in my craw. and I think I've mentioned this to you, but I need to bring it up here in this forum. A young woman who's a big fan of mine and she was talking about, she's unlucky in love. She's looking for the right kind of guy and she wants someone who's funny. She wants this, she wants that. And I said, what kind of person do you look for? And she said, well, you'd be really good, but you're too old. And I went, okay, that's, this woman's in her 30s and I'm 60.

46:13And I said, I completely understand that. And she said, but Larry David, I like Larry David. And I became a wild beast. I started shouting at her, what are you talking about? I said, Larry David could have technically driven me home from the hospital as a baby. I think he's 15 to 16 years older than me. And I couldn't shake it. She was like, no, you're too old. But the ladies like their Larry David. I hear that all the time. It's the joie de vivre.

46:51All right. I won't even try to explain it, but it has been an honor to have you here. I say that knowing that you'll make a face, but just an absolute thrill to talk to you. And it was a big deal for me to get to be in that episode. So because like everyone, I adore your work. So there you go. And it on a nice note. There's nothing you can do about it. Well, I had a wonderful time. I want you to do my eulogy. Like a first date. A peck on the cheek. I might get a peck on the cheek. I had a wonderful time. And honestly, I hope we can do it again. Ask him upstairs. Ask him upstairs. We will never see this man again.

47:40That's one of the all time. You'll never see him again. Yeah. Thank you. This was great. Thank you.

47:56Conan here. And I'm just going to say this is a special segment. Yes. It is because we are joined by my wife, Liza Powell O 'Brien. And everyone far prefers Liza to me. Yep. That is pretty much true, right? Oh, so true. And I'm tired of it. So we're going to... What are you going to do? Oh, I'm going to cut this one down to size. You brought her on the podcast to do this. Yeah. How are you, betrothed? I feel like if I was around everyone as much as you're around them, the balance would shift back. No. Nope. Absolutely not. No, I don't think so. You can talk to our kids. I can see that with confidence.

48:31I don't know you, but I know him. You know Liza bit, don't you? But I chose him. So what does that tell you? That's true. That's true of all the men in the world. You chose this one. They were all at my disposal. They were all at your disposal. Everyone. Matt Damon, they were all lined up. Matt Damon. I don't know. I just... And I'm thinking of him, of course, from Team America. I'm not Damon. Anyway, let's pull this thing together because Liza likes to spend as little time with me as possible. And so the fact that she's here means there's a reason. And I am very proud of the fact, there are many things you do that I'm very proud of, but your tolerance for me is a great source of pride.

49:14But you have made this podcast that I think is stunningly good. I love it. And I'm not just saying that. Many people really like this podcast. It's called Significant Others. And we thought this was a good time to talk about it because it's Valentine's Day. You're so in love with me. I do appreciate being recognized for that. It's your greatest achievement is your love for me. It confuses everyone. No, and your podcast, though I wouldn't describe it as a romantic podcast, but it is about couples dynamics, significant others, how they sometimes it's a husband and wife. These are famous couples.

49:56Sometimes it's it could be a father, daughter. There's a power dynamic and how that all works, sometimes positively, sometimes negatively, often positively and negatively. Is that a fair description? Yeah, it is. I think you're right that it's not romance is not at all part of I I mean, sometimes there are romantic stories, but mostly they're stories of sort of complicated partnerships. Yep. Which spoke to me. I don't know why.

50:26Well, it's so funny because you often contrast your podcast with mine. Ours is seat of the pants. Absolute nonsense. I'm always seeing her pretty much in her study, in her small study, crafting these episodes. you get very cool people to do the voices. You also use a bunch of the people here at Team Coco. I do. You really make these things beautifully. And then I'm also a little put off that you have a fantastic podcast voice that is far superior to mine. I don't know why I'm the one who's doing the podcast first because your voice is so terrific. Well, that's nice. Thank you. Season one, I love.

51:05Season two's premiering. I haven't heard a bunch of these yet. And I know that you've been working on them, But I, for example, Jenny and Karl Marx, Karl Marx's wife, and what their relationship was like. And because you were doing all this research, when you were done with one of the books, I read it. I had never read a book about Karl Marx and his relationship with his wife, Jenny. But that's a husband and wife team where you can really see how as a couple, they worked with each other. Then there are other teams like Billy Strayhorn and Duke Ellington. Mm hmm. Billy Strayhorn, Duke Ellington was, I think, has been referred to as the first great American composer.

51:43He was just unbelievably talented. And, you know, forget the fact that he was, you know, violently discriminated against his entire life. But even outside of that, his accomplishments are spectacular. So he kind of had this empire almost of music and he had all of these different, he had different versions of his band and he was touring all the time and kind of stretching himself really thin. And he met this kid named Billy Strayhorn, who was 21, who had wanted to, I don't want to give the whole story away, but he had wanted to be a concert pianist. And he was a prodigy. He was incredibly gifted, used to play the piano in the, he and his family lived in a boarding house.

52:32and the prostitutes who lived next door had a piano and he would go play on that and earned enough money when he was quite young to buy himself piano lessons. Anyway, so he got into this conservatory in Philadelphia and his dream was to be a concert pianist and he was basically told you can't because you're black. So he was looking for other ways to express his musical abilities Anyway, he auditioned kind of for Duke Ellington and Ellington was like, oh, this guy is special. What Strayhorn could do is he could play in the style of anyone. So he could play in the style of Duke Ellington and then became his sort of stand in, his band leader, his collaborator.

53:18He wrote a ton of music for him, including the anthem that I think most people think of when they think of Duke Ellington, which is Take the A Train. That was actually a great story. That's just an amazing, iconic piece. Yeah. So anyway, and he was he was gay and he was very determined to live openly. And so he was. Which at that time is unheard of. It was it wasn't entirely unheard of, but it made it very difficult for him to be a star in his own right because that was still a disadvantage. So anyway, so that's a really that's a great. I mean, yeah. What's interesting is I'll often know one of the names, but not both.

53:56Right. Benedict Arnold. I know that name. You did Benedict Arnold and Peggy Shippen. I had heard a little bit about Peggy Shippen. That's a fascinating story, how those two work together in positive, negative ways. I love that you cast, as Benedict Arnold, you cast Andy Richter, which resonates with me in so many ways. I think complicated is the word that comes up a lot. The series opens up so many different great ideas about how people help each other, also can get in the way, and how it's a dynamic. Yeah. I mean, we talk a lot about how there's some piece of ancient wisdom that talks about how everything's basically dependent on how you frame it.

54:39So I think these stories are all about that kind of this is the worst matchup ever, although they did help each other in this way. Right, right. I just think that makes it more interesting and more true. I think it's really human to want things to be simple. And I think there's a lot of oversimplification that happens all the time, especially now. And this kind of doesn't allow for that. These stories allow for a complicated narrative, but you listen to them and they're great stories. And I come away and I sort of wanted, I always want to know more about the Nietzsche one. That's such a great one.

55:17Elizabeth Forster Nietzsche and Friedrich Nietzsche. A lot of this I owe to the books that I do read that, you know, there's usually some take by the author that's really helpful. And the one that I really appreciated with that was that, you know, his big thing was all about this will to power that like you're supposed to will yourself into the best version of yourself that you can be. And she really embodied that in a way that was terrifying. And she was incredibly ambitious. And he was he's been misunderstood a lot, I think. And I'm not claiming to be the one who understands him best at all.

55:54But he was anti-nationalist. He didn't believe in statehood. He had lived through war and thought it was abhorrent. And he, you know, his sister marries an anti-Semite who's trying to found a pure racist colony in Paraguay. He thinks that's disgusting. He stopped speaking to them. And then by the end of his life, he was so incapacitated that she finagled away to become his caretaker, his minder, his power of attorney, all of that. And used him kind of as a prop that she would walk people past. and she was hanging out with fascists and Hitler came to her funeral. This is what you're going to do to me.

56:33Oh, I cannot wait. I'm picking up so many good pointers. So many tips. I plan on becoming incapacitated and I know Liza's just going to... Becoming?

56:45More incapacitated. But what I'm saying is I don't always ask you to carry me to the toilet. You don't always ask. I don't always ask. Sometimes I should. Anyway, we got off track. My point is, I love your podcast. And I'm not saying it because you're making me, which you did. No, she's got a gun. That begs the question. Season 12 Conan and Liza episode? Yeah. That episode. Well, that's the one where I'm in a wheelchair, incapacitated. This is months from now. And Liza's bringing people by and she's promoting me as a great nationalist figure.

57:30All those great aphorisms that you've recorded. Yeah, like Nietzschef. That usually involve nonsense words. Exactly. Don't be a gibble when you can bibble. I be who I be. There was a big refrain last night. It was a lot of I be who I be. No one needs to know about our private life. You're just ripping off Popeye? You try singing that to the Game of Thrones. Which King, yeah. We were rewatching Game of Thrones, and I insist on singing loudly my own lyrics, which is I be who I be and I be. And Liza's like, you've got, and my son is like, if you do that again, we're not fucking watching this. That's the significant other.

58:08And then I be who I be, be. So now they don't even watch the openings anymore, as beautiful as they are. We watch it for the nudity. Anyway, I am a ruiner. You're a ruiner. But anyway, I love that you've gotten everyone at Team Coco. Oh, my God. We'd be lost without everybody. Gourley, Adam, Blay, Eduardo, Hopping, Erica Brown, Hayes, Chills. They've all read lines for the episodes. Erica Brown? No. Yes. Really? Yeah. Eric, you got Erica Brown on a microphone? She refuses to do a microphone, but she does it because she likes Liza. Oh, my God. I don't think I can ever ask her for anything. I think I used up all of my credit with her for the rest of time.

58:48Oh, my God. She did not enjoy the experience, but she sounds great. Yeah. Ted Danson was here recording something. Nicest man I've ever met. Well, he's right up there with me. Nice tall drink of water, too. I'm tall, too. Easy on the ice. Me, too. Yeah, I know. I'm still got it. I was on television for a long time. Yeah. Both of us know what it's like. He's confident, cool. Yep, friendly. He's the coolest guy. I'm a good bartender. Anyway. What? I was on Cheers. I know I was. Anyway, you got him helping out. It's just great. I'm very excited about it. It premieres on Valentine's Day, and it's called Significant Others, and that is you.

59:30That is Liza Powell O 'Brien. Said another one of your aphorisms. That is you. That is you. That is you, says I. That makes more sense than most of them have to say. That be you, is what I would say. And Sona, someday we'll do one about your significant other, Tack. About his love for karate and stuff? Are you going to do a whole thing about Chernobyl? Are you going to make it a fake one? Why? It's not my thing. It's Liza's thing. Sorry. Will you tell the story you texted me yesterday? I thought that was great. Well, yeah. So he went on. He's going to hate me for saying this, but he went on like an intensive karate weekend, which they do twice a year and always is in different places.

1:00:06And this time it was in Pasadena, which is 10 minutes from our house. He takes it so seriously that instead of coming home and sleeping because there's no room in the gym, he slept in his car for two nights and in the middle of winter. her to be close to the dojo be close to where they were practicing but i think he's so having an affair yes every time i tell liza i've got an intensive karate weekend she knows i'm meeting muriel on catalina you know what it's actually it's worse if he's not i know you know what i mean yeah he is though because i've met all his karate friends i mean it's possible i would i think i'd feel better if he was having an affair.

1:00:48See, I'm already thinking these are very beautifully crafted historical documents that you've made. They're really great. They're really great to listen to. You walk away from each one learning more. Yes. But I do want you to take a break from that and do one about Sona and Tack. It's about him sleeping at his car on his, quote, karate weekend. Sorry, Tack. And it's in there. And it's in there with, you know, all these other great figures. It's in there with George Putnam and Amelia Earhart and Baird Rustin and Martin Luther King Jr. George Orwell. Tack and Sona. Salvin Daly. Yeah. Tack and Sona.

1:01:22Yeah. Karate weekend. I know, but you know what? I did see his SUV. He had a whole setup in the back of his car. That's what I do when I go to Catalina to meet Muriel. I put a bunch of karate. Wait, how are you getting your car to - I own a seaplane. Okay, fine. I have two different sets of books. You've never - I have two accountants. You've never seen it. Liza's not even angry. She just wants to know the logistics of how to do it. Well, we have talked about this, which is, you know, if you ever found out that I was having an affair, wouldn't your first thought be to be kind of impressed at my time management skills?

1:01:56Because that's all I ever think about when I watch movies where someone's having an affair. I'm like, what? Yeah, I couldn't keep all that straight. Yeah, it's true. I couldn't. Yeah, all that. We are just barely hanging on with our very basic. We are very committed to each other, monogamous relationship. but we can barely keep it going. Cause there's like, oh wait, who's picking up our son? Wait, but when are we going to the airport? There's all that stuff. Who's taking the dog to the, and then the idea. Who threw out the mayonnaise? That was a big one the other day. Oh man, I was, and also I think it hadn't expired.

1:02:33But anyway, I wanted a tuna fish sandwich with mayo and suddenly there's no mayo. That didn't go well. But my significant other said, I'll make you some. And she made me mayonnaise from scratch. It did. I mean, that's a win-win. Yes, and it was better than the regular mayonnaise. Wow. So anyway, that was a win-win, but - This is riveting. I can't wait to hear about this on your episode. But wait a minute. What I'm saying is, if on top of all of that, I had to get on the seaplane to Catalina to meet Muriel and bring her the, you know, whatever, the avocados she loves to eat, who can keep track of all that shit?

1:03:09Very diverse taste in women. Yes, I was gonna say. Bring her avocados. And you know what? I do love an avocado. And you know what? She's really unpleasant. We got it, yeah. Why are you late? I had to, because I was doing a podcast where I was promoting, why are you promoting our podcast? Why can't I have one? Hey, is that my avocado? Chomp. And she's super old and there's nothing sexual about it. She is 82 years old. Oh, that's sweet. Yeah. She was a nurse in the Korean war. Anyway, Anyway, as stupid as this podcast is, I'm going to say this. I'm so proud of you. I love you. I'm so proud of you.

1:03:50And I think this is an incredible piece of work. So I'm excited about the new season. Significant Others, wherever you get your podcasts, season two premiering on Valentine's Day. Subscribe where you get your podcasts. Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

1:04:26Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

1:05:06Thank you.