Liam Neeson

26:28You were speaking at the event. I think Springsteen was so... At our table was Bruce, Springsteen, Patty, myself, because I'm the MC. That's how I got in. You're there, of course. uh uh and steven steven spielberg president barack obama comes and sits at the table and you and i i'll never forget we're sitting next to each other wondering how the fuck did we get to this table i know i don't know i feel on that side i know i know we just both naturally everyone else at the table feels like this is the table we should be at and you and i are there we're the two we're both six four but we both shrank and we both felt like it's a mistake that we're here i know i still feel like that if i'm in illustrious company yeah i feel that what is that why do we because there are people who don't feel not worthy yeah exactly exactly but we don't feel we're always feeling that way i'm always thinking that i came in through the back um that i you know i quickly got out of my waiter's uniform and put you know i never feel like i should be there i know any uh sir anthony hopkins tony hopkins one of the great actors i was in a film on 40 years ago tahiti a remake of mutiny on the bounty mel gibson dante lewis extraordinary cast and Tony was fucking magnificent as Captain Bly yeah Melvis Fletcher Christian but anytime I run into Tony Hopkins and I saw him in Rome three weeks ago I was finishing a film and Tony was in the same hotel and went up to his room knocked on the door met him and give each other big hug and that's been close to 40 years I'd seen him how's it going Tony you know what he says yesterday what he leans at me he says good big good lad i haven't been found out yet i haven't been found out and he means it yeah of course he means two fucking academy awards yeah i've seen him on stage he's brilliant yeah yeah but he means it he means it and i've talked about this before uh there are people i i know chris rock used to say it to me when he'd come on the show he'd lean over and go like well they haven't found me out yet and it's just and I think it's the people I like the most have that you know it's almost they're not too comfortable and you don't want to be I don't want to be I've made over a hundred films and sometimes I think on set if someone's not going to I think go on say something say fucking something Liam you've done a hundred fucking movies excuse me do you mind if I just say something I think if she comes in the door first that'll solve your camera problem let's try it okay just just saying i'm so sorry i'm so sorry and also uh but i don't mean it in a no no i know humble humble humble it's like when i was i know this for a fact when i was 32 years old in new york city i was with my girlfriend at the time and uh looking at a menu and they had a meal that was every just look they had an entree that was just perfect had all these different ingredients but it had some black olives in it and i don't like black olives and she said well you'll love that and i said no it's got black olives i won't order that and she said just tell them um can you just leave the olives off and i said i can't do that a 33 and she said yeah you can and i said she'll hate me what yeah she doesn't care i mean It took me that long to try and figure out that you're allowed to say some things.

30:13You're allowed to. Now I'm a total prick when I go to a restaurant. So I hear. Yeah. The word's out on me. You, I want this pasta with no pasta. Shaken, not stirred. It's like I would take it further than that. When my wife and I used to go eat, Natasha was a fantastic cook. I mean, chef. I would call her chef. She'd say, no, no, no, I'm a cook. But if something wasn't cooked to her, approval, you know, it didn't matter what it was. And she rarely did this, but it happened a few times. She'd say, no, no, no, I'm sorry. The meats, I want it a little bit more. I'm going, Tash, please, please, please.

30:51They're going to spit on it and bring it back out, please. Because I really believed that would happen. No matter what the restaurant was, someone's going to spit in it because you returned it, you know. You've upset the flow in the kitchen. Sure, yeah. I do remember speaking to you shortly after, not too long after she passed, and you were going through a really tough time. Yeah. And not to bring that back up, but I'm glad. That's all right. We still talk, she and I, every day. Oh, yeah? Yeah. It's been many years, but how many kids do you have? Two boys, nearly 27 and nearly 28. Are they big fellas like you?

31:30Yeah, they're about six, six one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Tiny Irishman, we call him. Under threat of death. I said, you grow taller than me. You're dead. You're dead to me. You know, it's funny. My son started to get very tall and he said, I don't want to be your height. And I said, you don't? And he said, no, you're too tall. It's weird. And I said, what the fuck? He was just, you know, no, I don't want to be your height. He said, I'd like to be like, you know, maybe 6 '1", 6 '2". I don't want to be 6 '4". It's weird. And he sort of implied like I should be in the circus. I was like, you know, that's no way to talk to your father.

32:07But that's the way he, you know, that's our relationship. What age is he? He is 17 years old. And he might be done growing. He's just a tiny bit shorter than me. And I think he's happy about that. I know. But he's stronger than me. It doesn't go well when we fight. I know. That's not good. Chase me, Dad.

32:28That's what got me. They turn 12 or 13. Chase me, Dad. And you go after them. Yeah. There's no way can you catch them. No. I remember that day very well. Yeah. And they keep reasonably fit, you know. I'll get you. When you come back, you'll come back eventually, and then I'll get you. Yeah, I just throw things now, and I'm not going to chase them anymore. I just throw some rocks. Do you get, because you have staked out so many areas, you've done so much great work, but you've also been, once you're in a Star Wars film, you've got you're part of that whole lore do you have Star Wars fans coming up to you all the time?

33:06Not all the time there's I mean it is a cult It is yeah There's so many movies and spin-offs and I think you're diluting the whole thing I think that's my personal thing but yeah occasionally you know you'll say oh there's kids after a Star Wars autograph and I don't want to give autographs and we're in an airport oh it's not the kid it's the grandfather there he is or the dad, you know, horn-rimmed glasses and a beard. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, they become 11-year-olds. Did you enjoy, because I know that you and you and McGregor got to use the lightsabers. Did you have fun with those? We did.

33:45The first time we actually had to pull the lightsaber, and there's only a handle. Right, there's a handle, and they add the effect later. Yeah, and maybe a little bit of aluminum tube with green tape. but mine's was green because I'm Irish. Irish Jedi. And Ewan's was red or something. So the first time we got to pull them to start a little fight, you know, we both automatically went and action.

34:13Wait, you were doing that with your mouth? I know, I know.

34:20George said, let's cut there. Boys, we can add that in later. Yeah, of course, we knew that.

34:32Twat. That's hilarious. I wish they had left that in. Wouldn't that be so great?

34:41You two just spitting at each other.

34:46God. That would be so, so funny looking. That would be fantastic. I had this lovely makeup and hair lady and Scottish. And I was supposed to be doing a scene with this little flying sort of monster that was this kid that would eventually be Darth Vader. He was nine years of age. And it was a big long scene with this flying thing. No, no, no, what do you want? It was all this sort of stuff. And I didn't know what this thing was going to look like. So I'm acting to a guy with a stick and an orange or a green tennis ball stuck in the top that's going to be eventually this flying little monster. So I'm in the makeup.

35:31So I got my wig on and my beard and all that stuff. And she says, oh, Liam, makeup lady says, I did see a mock-up of the wee monster. You could be a monkey smoking a pipe. No one's going to be looking at you.

35:50Isn't that nice to hear just before you go out? I know, before you do. And I had a lot of lines to say on this thing, you know, to this tennis ball, you know. And right now, if you see the scene, it's like, oh, wow, that's amazing. What are you doing here, Jedi?

36:07I'll show you.

36:12You idiots. You don't need to make the sound with your mouth. You know, it's incredible to me that you've had, a very distinguished career you've done a lot of great work you're a terrific actor and then this is the way it goes eventually in this business you are acting to a green tennis ball and because that's more and more that's what the work is and it's just uh i don't know about you but there are so many times particularly in in my profession my career my weird corner of it where i find myself doing these things over the years over the many years and i think I step outside my body and go what the hell are you doing you're you're a complete fool you're a total ass but I think we're in show business ultimately so even something as important and popular as a Star Wars film you're there and there's a tennis ball and there must be some part of you that steps outside of you I did theater I know Yeah, yeah, there's that.

37:15But what you've done, Clint, to me, that would be a nightmare for me. Getting up as Conan O 'Brien or Liam Neeson in front of an audience and having to entertain them. That's a nightmare. The thought of it. I'm not a comedian. I mean, you are. You've done this stuff. It's like, fuck, how do they do that? Well, the trick is sometimes it's not good. That's what I've always said. the trick is you go out and you try but uh i know that i love it i love being in front of people and uh i really enjoy it but i get very intense before i go out and do it and i was telling you just before i went on just last night i did something with paul mccartney about 800 people i think in the crowd and um had the time of my life out there on stage but beforehand waiting backstage standing next to that guy and i had to go out first and get the crowd going and then bring him out things get very focused in my brain and i still after all these years i i get kind of intense because i think you have to get that way before you go out if you just breeze on out there it's not going to be any good yeah i remember just apropos what we're talking about i remember doing a play a brian friel play new play then it was called aristocrats in the belfast theater festival.

38:35I'm talking 1978. And I had taken over the part from a wonderful Irish actor called Stephen Ray. And I had learned the part in two weeks. And it was a main part. We played it in Dublin for two weeks. Then we had a week off while the company moved up to Belfast as part of this festival. And on the opening night of the play Aristocrats, which I had already played for two weeks. Brian Fried is in the audience. The director is in the audience. Various Northern Ireland dignitaries. and I have a kind of drunken spiel to say in the second act and I dried for your audience. I forgot my words and you could have heard a pin drop and I remember seeing at the end of the passageway the exit sign and I thought if I jump off the stage and I can be out of this horrible feeling in maybe six seconds and all this is over.

39:30I didn't, but it felt like an hour had passed and I was still there looking at this exit sign and the audience looking at me. I eventually, I was supposed to be drunk, the character was, so I kind of staggered off stage. And the script girl, she wasn't following it at all. Anyway, when I got off stage, I remembered the line and I staggered back on again and resumed the performance. So it came back to you? It came back to me. But I'll never forget that moment of absolute terrifying fear. It's funny, have you ever figured out what happened in that moment? You obviously knew it. Was there something in that moment?

40:05Was there a reason? Was it because everyone was in the audience? Because I find sometimes I don't like to know. If someone important's in the crowd, I don't want to know. I'd rather not know because that gets in my head. And I used to find it difficult even when family would come and they would say like, oh, my dad's here and he's going to sit in the crowd. That would make it more difficult for me, which shouldn't make a difference at all. but it would make it more difficult even though it's a tv show it's going out to millions of homes that's who's really seeing it this audience you know but but i i couldn't get past that yeah i think it is it's part partly knowing there's various people out there that you respect you know and i just dropped the conversation i think i felt too confident i'd taken over the part in two weeks which was a fast learn for me very fast yeah and uh i think it just caught up with me that's what it was i think it's refreshing i love it when people especially people of your caliber say i'm scared and i still get scared you know i i and i find that to be it's one of the things i like most about doing the podcast and having these conversations is i love i think it's good for people to hear yeah that liam neeson still has moments and i you know we all do we all do we have these moments where we think i don't know that i can do this yeah i know oh yeah i I still get them.

41:23Not that fear, but if I'm shooting a film and, you know, there's a break and they're doing a lighting setup or something. Right. And I'll look at the lines or whatever and think, why do I do this? Yeah. And I always say to myself, you know, I think it was Robert Mitch and myself in some interview years ago. So as you walk in the room, you point your feet, speak the truth. Or walk in the room, hit the marks, say the lines. What's the problem? Yeah. Something like that, you know. Something as simple as that will kind of get me back again. It worked for Robert Mitchum, yeah, I'll say that. And Jimmy Cagney.

41:56Cagney used to say that too. No stress, no strain. Walk in the room, plant your feet, speak the truth. That was his thing, yeah. Well, he was, I mean, Jimmy Cagney, he was, I grew up, I mean, it's odd, but I think just because, you know, I grew up, I came of age in the 1970s, so you'd think I'd be watching all this sophisticated stuff, but no. I watched Channel 38 or Channel 56 because they showed reruns. And what did they show? They showed old movies. So I grew up on Jimmy Cagney and I thought that was show business. Jimmy Cagney and Yankee Doodle Dandy, Angels with Dirty Faces, you know, Public Enemy.

42:30I just thought that's what those were the movies I watched. Sure. And yeah. And I thought that's what it is. And of course, I wasn't watching Mean Streets. I wasn't watching. I didn't have access to those. They weren't showing those early Scorsese films. That's what I should have been watching. but you know that's what I that was my education was the 1930s and 40s Warner Brothers yeah me too and we we got a TV I was in my teens I think when we got a TV black and white you know but I always remember every Sunday there was always a movie on 2 o 'clock in the afternoon and it always seemed to be someone in a Mac with a trilby hat pouring with rain yeah film noir Raymond Chandler yeah Alan Ladd or Mitchum or something like that you know so i feel like i kind of grew up with those guys i had a question which is just occurred to me which is the times that i've been in ireland what i've and it surprised me the first time i encountered it they love country music american country music and the more sentimental the more they love it and it's a funny because sometimes the irish and i'm talking north south catholic protestant they can come across as so hard-edged and unsentimental but then they love the most sentimental thing in the world and i was really surprised that you know you you you look at what's on the jukebox or what's available to play in these different pubs and it's all the most you know you went and left me and all i've got's my donkey you know kind of country that's not a real one but uh but the the the kind of sometimes the sappiest country songs and it's i don't know what that is but then i realized well who wrote that music a A lot of it's Irish and Scottish, you know, immigrants getting into Appalachia and they're writing this music.

44:16Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, my mom used to highlight it. Hank Williams. Oh, yeah. Oh, man, the most sentimental old claptrap, you know. She'd play it over and over and over, you know. Mom, please.

44:33Can I put on the Rolling Stones?

44:39there'll be no Rolling Stones in this house. Is it true, I never knew if this was true or not, that you had a chance to do James Bond? Was that ever a possibility for you, or was it ever discussed? They were interested in me after Schindler's List. They were interested in a whole bunch of other actors. Some journalists seemed to think, oh, why did you turn down Bond? I was like, no, I wasn't offered James Bond. I think I was on their radar for five minutes. Would you have done it if the chance had come up? um yeah but my wife got a lover she said when I first started getting a couple of calls from Barbara Broccoli about you know would I be interested and I said yeah I would be interested and Natasha and I weren't married at the time and she says if you are offered James Bond we're not getting married and I'd be going ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

45:30she did not want to be married to James Bond yeah I was worried today You don't, oh, these boring, horribly beautiful women. I can't take it anymore.

45:44Yeah, I'm sure it is funny. After a while, anything they're paying you to do becomes a job. There's a point, I'm sure. You know, it's like, I don't care if you're the ice cream taster at the Ben and Jerry's factory. There's a day when you come home and go, I, God damn it. One more taster, fudge ripple crunch, and I'll take my life. I swear I will. Yeah, there must be days when Daniel Craig would come. Oh, God damn it. Fuck Bond.

46:15We had to kiss and kiss and kiss. Enough! Why don't they leave me alone? I know that Retribution is the current film, the film that's coming out. Yes. Is this one where you read the script and said, this is a good one? Can you tell pretty quickly when you read a script? Yeah, I have a cup of tea test. If I get to page five, say, and I think, oh, I must make a cup of tea, that's not a good saying. Oh, okay. That's the tea test. That's the tea test, yeah. Yeah. But I'd work with these producers, these lovely guys, and I'd done three movies together. Studio Canal, I'd done five movies together. And I knew it was going to be a thriller.

46:55And I'd done one for the guys on an airplane that crisis, a train that derails in crisis. I thought, a car? It's got to be a car. So this is about a car. Driving a car, I've spent 95 % of the movie in a car with my two kids in the back. The only problem is I'm trying to take them to school. I'm a financial advisor, banker. No skills. No set of skills. No. And driving through the streets of Berlin, but unbeknownst to me, I'm sitting on a bomb, as are my kids. And I have to follow these instructions from this anonymous person who has left a phone in the car. Anyway, I read the script in London. They sent it to him and I found it a real page-turner.

47:39It was a really interesting, good action-paced thing, you know. Yeah, you know, they've always said, and it's not that I know a lot about the film business, but they've always said, if you don't have the script, you can't fake the, you can, it doesn't matter what you do. You can get the greatest actors in the world, you can get the greatest director. If it's not there in the script. Conan, if it ain't on the page, it ain't on the stage. Yeah. That's the truth. And I can tell it's the truth because it rhymes. Yeah. If something rhymes, I immediately believe it. I immediately believe it. But I love that.

48:11You can tell by just what you call the tea test. If you want to make yourself a cup of tea a couple of pages in, that means it's a problem. Yeah. Yeah. There's something not working. I have a version of that called the if I'm offered test, which means if I'm offered anything, I'll do it. Because I want to go do it. You know the old actors one, you know, agent calls the actor, performer, and the actor goes, hey, John, how's it going? Yeah. What? Who? I would not work with that bitch if she was... I'm much.

48:50That's the classic one. Yeah, yeah. That's the world. That's not just show business. That's all across the board. Yeah. that's everybody um well i'm looking forward to it because it's a good movie yeah and i i i have to say i i just when i know you're in something i'm happy i'm serious i'm you're you're you're always however you're feeling inside you're always terrific and i also i wish you could teach me to talk like you with i because i've i'm so annoyed as is america by my own voice and i've always just I wish I could get it down here. Because I think if I, I think it's blocked my career in so many ways.

49:34Yes, it has. No, it's absolutely true. Imagine me on the phone, you know, saying, I've got some skills, a special set. No one's threatened. No, there's no, or I'm Michael Collins. You know, I'm going to change everything here in Ireland. It's way up. There's no authority. There's no authority. No, I disagree with you. Okay.

50:05You have extraordinary energy, and I've seen you a few times. I've done your show several times. I love it. I really admire it. It's very impressive. Yeah. Well, also annoying to people who hear me. We'll get my wife in here. You've met my wife. She will agree. She'll say, look, Liam, you take him for the day. I don't want him. This is, I just woke up happy today because I knew I'd be seeing you. Oh, please. No, seriously. You're the real deal. And you seem like you're happy. You know something? I don't believe in the word happy. Yeah. Content is the state I aim for is contentment. That's the best feeling in the world.

50:50Yeah. Happiness comes and goes. Yeah. Yeah. No, I agree with you. I used to tell my wife when we were just dating, I said, I believe in a low bass hum, meaning just that low background of good feeling. So she had it made into a thing that I could wear on my wrist, low bass hum. The problem is the person who made it, there wasn't enough space, so they shoved all the letters together. And she gave me this thing and it says, low bassham. And people think it's like a county in Cork that I come from. and so i wear this thing it says low basham but no i know what you're meaning i think that i that there's a obsession in our culture with are you happy all the time it's not the natural state but contentment contentment is good contentment's great yeah you know and uh i recently learned a word japanese word called shibumi and it's it it sort of describes contentment with i can't even find the words for it it's like for example a walk through some dabbled forest and you're totally at your ease that's and you're connected in some way connected i think is a good and that's shibumi i just love that word yeah i'm gonna get that for the other wrist shibumi and lobashim i'm gonna get the tattoo on the throat i love the throat tattoo shibumi and people are and then i'm going to finally meet someone a japanese person is going to say no you they wrote it wrong

52:25hey uh liam uh god bless you thank you for being here um yeah yeah just uh just an absolute treat and um let's hang again sometime let's do that that'd be fun thank you man we'll take you take me to a boxing match yeah and i can say why are those men fighting it might have been mike tyson Do you remember where it was? It was in Tyson. I do remember what it was. I'll think of it. We should look it up. But it was, the fight was over very quickly. I think it was Floyd Mayweather. It was a very, because it was a very quick fight. In the garden? I think it was in the garden. I know it was in the garden.

52:59I know it was in the garden. And I think it was Floyd Mayweather. It might have been Floyd Mayweather. Do you remember the year? Do I remember the year? Roughly? No, we had Guinness. I don't remember a goddamn thing. I remember there was Guinness. And what I remember is Liam Neeson and the Guinness made more of an impression on me than the fight the fight was very quick the we watched an undercard that was quick and then the main fight was quick and all i really appreciated and enjoyed was um was my time with liam i'm gonna have to look that up to you mate yeah for the record it says floyd never fought at the garden he didn't no no no he wasn't in the ring he was fighting with someone someone brought he ordered nachos and they brought him a pizza so i don't remember stop quizzing me and getting online and looking for things.

53:42You know, I don't even know if a fight was happening. It might have been my family arguing. I don't know. But I know that definitely we hung out there and we hung out there with Frank Smiley and his wife and it was who worked for me. And we had a wonderful time. She's also, I believe, from the North. And I think I know that because you two got into an argument within seconds. Is she a Protestant? She is, I think, yeah. I would explain. You were arguing right away and I had to break it up. Liam, have an amazing day. Thank you for being here. Thanks, Con. Thank you so much.

54:26Okay, it's time to find out what's going on with the young people in America. Oh, is that why I'm here? Yeah, yeah, that's why you're here. Get ready for a youth quake. No, I want to find out because, listen, this summer it's been all about Taylor Swift or as I call her T. Swift or T.S. or sometimes T.S. Elliott because she's been so successful she's left a wasteland behind her. kids you gotta learn something my point is that I brought in the biggest Taylor Swift fan I know and he's David Hopping he's my real assistant now that Sona's just become a professional goofball 24-7 oh okay I mean you still are you're a professional goofball 24-7 wouldn't you say that okay sure I guess you are so you are why do I do what when you're like I guess when you say something to me.

55:27That was a really good Nicolas Cage. That was fantastic. Anyway, let's stick to the point. It's not you. Let me tell you something. David Hopping's here. And David Hopping, you actually went, you're the only one in this room that went to the Taylor Swift concert. I did. And everyone's talking about it. So this is, you know, I don't think anyone else who's seen the Taylor Swift shows this summer has actually been recorded giving their thoughts on it. So this is a real scoop. Yeah. And he's been multiple times. How many times have you gone? Twice. Okay. Three times. Yeah. How much was it? Don't let the system work you.

56:03You have to work the system. David, what does that mean? David, what? It means he came in through the air conditioning duct. A lot of people were saying, I love the part of the concert where that white Midwestern guy falls through the ceiling. They know you're Midwestern. Covered in lint and hits the floor really hard. So tell me, was it amazing? It's a seven hour concert, is that right? She does like three and a half hours just herself. And her opening act is they show Dr. Zhivago, which is a three hour movie. I was out until you said that. Yeah, and then - Now you're in? Yeah. Right, they show Dr.

56:41Zhivago, then they build an Aztec temple in real time. And then she comes out. So the whole thing, you're in for 15, you're 18 hours in, okay? So how was it? The best night of my life. Yeah, really. Wait, you've had dinner at my house. I have still the best statement. Yeah. OK, I had burritos. You love burritos. I love burritos. Anyway, so it was incredible. Yes. Everyone says she gives a fantastic show. I don't know how she does it. I was exhausted. I felt like I was hung over the next day. I had no alcohol. OK, is it possible that there's more than one that she has other people come out? well first of all she's performing in a huge space and there are a bunch of times where she says before my next song i'll be right back and she ducks behind right something like a switch yeah and it's possible that they pull the old thank you texas switch and she comes out and it's an easy look to replicate is that possible that there are nine people backstage i don't think so okay all those camp there are cameras that get and like her face is just on the but what if that's pre-recorded video pre-recorded video there's a stand-in live because no one's close enough you know except for people that pay like 30 000 and that's the illuminati anyway so they're going to keep this secret exactly yeah uh also i think it's very highly possible that it is like seven different people who can look like taylor swift they show pre-recorded stuff on the big screens people don't know it's playing to a track i heard tmc has footage of her backstage eating a giant bowl of mushed corn.

58:18And just corn mash. Smoking a giant cigar. Yeah, smoking a giant cigar, and she's on the tape saying, suckers. And she's eating it off of a giant table that's made of million dollar bills. Yeah. That's a tape that I heard TMZ has, but they're just slow to get it out. They've got some editing problems. Because you know how slow they can be with getting. They're so slow with how they get their news out. Can I confess something? I can't name a single Taylor Swift song. What are you talking about? Not a single one? Yeah, you can. Today's the day. Here we go. Not a single one. Off on our way. Okay, so Conan can't either.

58:53No, I'm just naming them. I'm ripping them off. They're incredible. They're rolling off my tongue. Keep going. Who are you going to be? He was my current, but now he's my ex. He's in my rear view window. Don't need him no more. Some of these actually sound like they could be. I was going to say, and also a lot of her songs are just like a word that we use regularly. I love her song, the acoustic ballad, Fuck You, Jake Gyllenhaal. She's got some great tunes. What are you doing? What's the matter? You don't like this segment? I love it. Okay. You're getting all nervous and stuff. I'm always nervous.

59:23What made it so stand out? What do you see at a Taylor Swift concert that you don't see elsewhere? The one I went to, she announced 1989 Taylor's version. And she's re-recording that because someone else owns that album. It's weird. I know stuff about her, but I couldn't tell you a song. Wait a minute. That's a whole idea I just had. We'll get to Taylor Swift in a second. Guys, this is ingenious. Okay, so we rerecord every podcast word for word. And we sell them. We sell them on television late at night on a 1-800 or a 555 number. And it's called Conan, the real Conan, 1963, when I was born. This is good.

1:00:05And we sell them and we get to keep all that cash. Yeah, I'm in. And then we disparage these other ones because they're not real. They're owned by the man. What do you guys think of that? Do you guys want to do that? Because I don't. I think I'm busy. Yeah, I don't want to do it. No, I'm really, really busy. I don't have time. I'm free. You're free? Okay. Why don't you do, hey, David, why don't you do all parts? You'd be me, Sona Gourley. From seat to seat. Yeah, including whatever interview we're in. I have a wig here. So anyway, keep going. So Taylor Swift. Oh no, so she announced 1989. So the whole night she kept wearing like new blue dresses because that's the color that represents 1989.

1:00:40Why? Why does blue represent 1989? It just does. Culturally or she decided? It just kind of became, all of her albums have a color associated to it. So David, when the Democrats are winning in a landslide, that means that that's Taylor Swift? Yeah. That's covering the map? Beating the red? Well, only 1989. I just don't understand why blue means Taylor Swift, 1989. It's just, I don't know where it came from. I think the fans just made it into a thing. That's such a major color. You can't claim a whole major color for one album. She's not saying no one else can use blue. It's just what represents it.

1:01:11She's just saying, hey, 1989 was my blue face. And then red, I'm guessing, was her red face. Red, you know, speaking out purple. Okay. What about Midnight's? Black? Yeah. No Reputation's black. Oh, right. Right. What's your favorite Taylor Swift song? Oh, God. Long Lives. Mine's Long Lives. That was good. And what's your other one? All Too Well. All Too Well. The 10-minute version. Yeah, 10-minute version. I like this 11 minute version I like because you just hear her coughing and saying did we get it? you think we got it? where's my bowl of corn? can I have my corn mush now? what else do you like?

1:01:49I mean the whole Midnight's album don't even get started folklore is evermore she's not the first artist to have to re-record a full album because she didn't own it I know JoJo did Def Leppard no no they re-recorded it because they didn't they lose the master recordings that's why they re-recorded it i know someone someone wouldn't allow them to go digital with it and so they re-recorded it note for note exactly the same okay yeah well so you're why rain on swifty's parade i'm not raining i'm just saying you're like they weren't she wasn't the first i think it's amazing what you did leopard head yeah you are yeah because i'm cool right yeah deaf leopard because i i know how to rock and i like metal.

1:02:31Yeah. Okay. Pour some glucose on me. That's White Snake. No. No, that's the old DL. Pour some sugar. Oh, it is DL. What am I thinking of? I don't know. What are you thinking of? You're so wrong. Here I go again on my own. Yeah, they're the same song. It is the same song. That's right. I was thinking White Snake. All rock songs are pretty much the same. I think Taylor Swift should record Death Leopard songs and White Snake songs. Now we're talking. Oh, she should also record famous news broadcasts. Yes. Oh, the Hindenburg is coming into Lakehurst, New Jersey. Oh, my God. The humanity. The humanity.

1:03:11How about cheerful ones? There aren't cheerful news. When does someone break into the news and go, now something cheerful. A bluebird had a baby. No one does that. It's always something bad. You don't know it. Moon landing. The war is over. Yeah, there you go. We did it. Oh, we killed, everyone died. For nothing. Oh, telling you. All right, I gotta wrap this up. David, I'm glad you had a good time. And I am happy for all the Swifties out there. My daughter's a huge Taylor Swift fan and she went to the show and lost her mind and it made her so happy that I was indebted. I was indebted to Taylor Swift.

1:03:52Seriously, it's nice to see someone putting out so much positivity. Oh yeah. Yeah, all joking. no seriously all joking aside I'm hugely happy for her and just I think it's I don't know we've had just so much bad news for such a long time that when when people are all excited about the Barbie movie or Taylor Swift and Beyonce or Beyonce the ladies are doing it ladies are doing it go go ladies go because you seem to know what you're doing we do not yeah us fellas alright I'm a lady well okay are you a well okay I'm just like I'm more of a bragus I guess I'm more of a broad. You're a broad. You're a broad.

1:04:32What a broad. You're a tough broad. Sona was a bouncer for four years at a club. I'd be a great bouncer. Hey, you get the fuck out of here. You would be a good bouncer. You would be a great bouncer. But also, I'd be nice, people. I'd have a lot of regulars. That's true. Because I'm cool, too. I'm a cool metal guy. Oh, boy. Don't say I'm a cool metal guy. Can I end it now? I haven't seen you at the meetings. Because metal guys don't say, hey, I'm a cool metal guy. Guys, I'm going to be responsible. We had a better ending and then we kept going. And then when he said, I'm a cool metal guy, there was just diarrhea on the wall.

1:05:07So I'm ending it. Peace out, Tupac. Cool rap guy. Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend. With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick D 'Leal, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco. and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.

1:05:47You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.