Quinta Brunson

27:31And I didn't want to acknowledge it. Like I didn't, even when I was 10 and watching Conan, I was like, it was more than just being entertained. It was like, this is fulfilling me in a way that is deeper than what my sisters understand. And that is really unique. or when you're watching the same movies as other kids, but you're honed in on the specific comedy part. Like, everybody else was watching some of the cartoons and stuff. Like, I remember Hercules. I didn't get that movie, but there was one funny part to me that I was like, the funny parts, though, right, guys? Yeah. Like, no, Hercules is really cool.

28:11Listen, those ladies sing. You know? And then in college, because I went to art school, which let me let my freak flag fly a little bit. That's when I really got into it. And just there was also just a comedy renaissance while I was in high school. It was when all the Apatow films were coming out. And, you know, like Anchorman had come out at that time. And that was a big deal to me. And I needed to introduce it to the rest of the school. So I became like the DVD hustler that was like, here's what you guys need to watch. Like, can I please have movie Friday? First viewing is free. I kind of also miss that time of DVDs because it was like a special currency, like giving my DVDs to my friends and being specific about you need to watch Anchorman.

28:58You need to watch Napoleon Dynamite. I got Juno for you. I got this for you. And so then I understood that it was a tasting and an appreciation. You're like a sommelier, like saying, I think you're going to like this Pinot Noir. It's from Piedmont region. I got you taken care of. Literally. And it was like a curation. Which led to a deeper appreciation because then I started looking up where did where all these people coming from? If I'm like them, how did they all get together and get to be funny together? Because that's what I was lacking. I made my classmates laugh, but I was like, I'm not a clown, so I don't want to make you guys laugh in that way.

29:39huh like where do I go to like yeah hone in on what I feel which is a very deep artistic connection to this genre and so once I found out about second city that's when it was really a wrap I had a boyfriend in Chicago at the time and I was like I'm gonna come and stay with you I'm gonna sneak and go to this place called the second city and he was like he's like drugs, strip club? I was like it's a comedy. Don't tell anyone. He's like okay can we like have sex when you can get here? I was like sure but I need to. Seriously he was like that was his main goal was like what I don't Priority. Right.

30:19But I didn't tell my parents I I snuck on a plane oh my god they still don't know how many times I actually snuck to Chicago they just knew I did it once. So you were not because this is the interesting thing your mom as we've established elementary school teacher your dad very religious your dad yeah what does your dad do oh he managed parking lots okay so yeah this is you're keeping this a secret yeah at what point do you have to say to them I got some news for you I like never did they still don't know they're not allowed to have a television they can't watch any award shows because you keep winning awards Abbott was the first time my mom got it.

31:03I sent her the pilot to watch. And she was like, oh, oh, so you're going to do this, huh? And I was like, yeah, I am. I'm going to do this. I'm not giving up. I'm not coming back to Philly. Because I'd done a couple of things. But she doesn't watch TV like that. So she didn't see, like I did Black Lady Sketch on HBO. I had done a couple of TV shows, like New Girl and stuff like that. But she wasn't tapped in. And to her, it was still, okay, she's out there having fun. She's going to come back here and, you know, become a teacher was her dream. And then she saw Abbott and was like, oh, I get it.

31:43Hands off. Do your thing. So that was kind of, so 27 took me a long time to kind of actually tell them that I was going to, I never even told them. I was just like, look at this. That's a major network signal. Look at this thing I made. Yeah, it's not that hard. You just write and create and star in a show. It wins every award it can possibly win. That's what happens to everybody. Which was the importance of network TV to me because I was doing everything else in the shadows. I had written for an Adult Swim show, voiced on an adult. That didn't mean anything to my mom and dad. What about all the stuff you did, social media, all that didn't click with them?

32:21Didn't mean anything. Didn't mean anything. Because that was very industrious and very successful for you. You were able to, which is, you know, a tool that didn't used to exist. And I will have younger people come up to me. When I say younger, I mean late 50s.

32:41Hey, you whippersnapper. You shouldn't be wearing long pants yet. Sorry, my hips hurt. So, no, when younger people come up to me and they say, well, how do I break in? How do I break in? I say, there's something that you have that didn't exist in my day called the internet, called TikTok. I mean, there's all these ways called YouTube. If this is your passion and your drive, you can start making it. And yes, it's a vast ocean. But I've always maintained that if there is a, you know, if there's an orchestra, if there's a 900-piece orchestra playing badly, but one person totally is playing the triangle totally perfectly eventually people are going to go hey that triangle exactly you still got to be tight you can't which i think people forgot with the internet i think back in the day there were less uh stages i called them to you know show yourself on but there was a little bit of quality control on that because you had to be fucking tight to get on a stage and like it makes me miss like um showtime at the apollo yeah you could get up there, but if you weren't tight, you were getting booed off stage.

33:54Sandman was coming out and getting you off. How humiliating. Could you imagine? Yes, I can imagine. We watch it. But like, Sandman is coming, a room full of black people like, yeah, get off the stage. It's so crazy and traumatizing. I just, I think back to it. I'm like, that's so wild. But we maybe could use a little bit of that. I'm like, I think we might need to bring Showtime at the Apollo. We need a good boo every now and then. Good punches in the face. I'm getting off topic, but it connects because I think enough people aren't being punched in the face. Because when you see a punch in the face, you have to walk around with a black eye.

34:31Yep. And there was shame in that and humility. But then the black eye would heal and you'd be okay. And you knew to not do the thing that got you a black eye ever again. And I just feel like there's not enough blue inner black eyes. There's a lot out there. There's a lot of content. Yeah. There was a while there, just like two or three years ago, during the streaming wars, where everything was getting greenlit. Yeah. And I would have this experience of driving around L.A., and I just kept seeing billboards. And it was like, it's shows that I'd never heard of, ever. And then a quote from someone I'd never heard of.

35:16If you're not watching Mr. Bibbly Boo, then you're not watching television. You're not watching shit. Yeah, then fuck you, says Dirk Milroy from WZBTV.com. You're like, wait, you know, but you'd see hundreds of those. And like it makes me long for the 90s because it felt like it didn't matter who you are. Everyone had like the same cultural. Everybody knew friends. Everybody knew friends. Everybody knew Conan. Everybody knew Martin. Everybody knew In Living Color. Everyone knew SNL. Everyone knew the president. Everyone knew, like, just last night I was watching TV with my husband, and I had to tell him, like, he didn't know who Laura Loomer was.

35:58He didn't know who, he doesn't know. He's like, it's too many fucking people. Yeah, I know. It's too many people. It's too many different ways to be out of the loop. I have this experience where I'll, when I get up in the morning, I, you know, first thing I do is I hit my news feed or whatever. And it's, of course, I always want to know what's going on in the culture show business. And it's just comical because it'll be like, you know, Rachel Crone tells Drax Sizzler, you know, to get lost. Yeah. You know, to get lost. Get lost. I didn't know. I love it. It does look like that. I didn't know where I was going.

36:41I admit I didn't know where I was going. No, but like, but like people are having beef and I don't know what their beef is or who they are. And it's so it's things like beef is. Yeah. Or what beef is. And I want you to know that's not because you're 61. That is happening to everyone. Like 21 year olds who, who run the world are, don't know who other 21 year olds are. There's just too many. That's the word I, the term I hear a lot is we're all siloed. Yes. That everybody's, Um, here's what I like. And because, uh, and it's this term that I think perfectly identifies what's happening is that humans by nature do not want to be challenged.

37:23Like most organisms, we don't want to be challenged. We want to be comfortable. So what do we do? We create, now we can create an ecosystem where, okay, I like Abbott Elementary. I also really like this sketch show. I like this. I like this. I like that. I like that. But I kind of, I don't, here are my political views and I get upset when I hear this other person ranting. So I'm going to create this world where that's all I hear about is the stuff that I like. And I'm gravity free. I'm constantly nourished. I'm not challenged. And I think that that has become a problem. I think so too. I don't know if it's bad or good, but it is where we are right now.

38:08And I've felt myself veer into it because it all is so much input that I'm like, let me just build my own little island. But I then think as a writer and as an artist and a creator, that's not healthy. That's not healthy. Like I have to take input from the rest of the world in order to make something. and but it is it's rough out there i'm not gonna lie like i'm one i i was on um the website formerly known as twitter but i don't have an account anymore so i was just on it as like a blank user and the shit i see it is why if you do not curate your own algorithm the shit you are seeing on there is insane.

38:56And I'm just like, what the fuck? The thing that happened recently with Trump talking about people eating cats and dogs, that had been a right-wing theory for like two weeks at that point. And so when it came out on the debate and everyone was like, what the fuck is he talking about? I'm a great what the fuck is he talking about person, but he actually was talking about some shit that has been in a zeitgeist for weeks. Yes, it had been out there it turns out it's not true. I forgot to say that part. Sorry, Sona. Sona says that she's... But Trump said it, so... I was protecting my dog. I was really scared.

39:34Sona said what? As she was biting into a cat. What? I get it. Because my parents are immigrants. Yes. And I think that's... I think it's really funny. According to Trump. Yes. But yeah, no. But that was an example of it where I was like, guys, he's not, he is crazy, but he's not being crazy right now. This was, he didn't just say that, like this has been going on for two weeks. Well, he's in his silo. Exactly. He's in his silo. He's in his silo. Unfortunately, it's a nuclear silo. But I mean, we all have to be careful because it can happen. Again, I always try to find the commonality. And there are people that can be in the Harris silo where, oh my God, you know, they can watch her do spectacularly well in a debate and say, well, the election's over.

40:27She's going to win. You're like, no, no, no. See the whole thing. You've got to see the whole thing. And you've got to, and unfortunately, being uncomfortable is a part of being creative, but it's also part of being human. We have to be uncomfortable. And so many negative things in our society come from, I don't want to feel uncomfortable. So I'm going to self-medicate. I'm going to have this wine I'm going to take these pills Jesus these are things I do I was about to say two out of three for me but but I leave room I leave I leave room I've been leaving a lot of room to feel lately yeah you have to feel things really important I've been drinking less because I want to like leave room yeah to feel and I think especially when you enter in a new era of your life which I kind of feel like I'm in I kind of like feel it I have to actually let's talk about that for a second because I'm no no no no no no I want to ask you a very specific question, which is you, for a good part of your very young life, were in the in the experience of aspiring.

41:26I'm going to try this. I'm going to I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. I'm going to make this. You're pushing. You're pushing. You're trying. You're pushing. Now you're the boss. Now, what's that like? That's just easy, Conan. Easy, easy. You like it. It comes naturally. I've been just dealing with that a lot recently because Abbott is a toddler now is the way I look at it, where it's like, you know, it's four years old and it's the baby's okay. You know, it knows how to walk, knows how to make its own food, still have to help it sometimes, but it knows where things are. Can't use a sharp knife, but I can come cut the sandwich for it.

42:07That's really how I look at Abbott, fully functioning toddler. And now I'm like, it's just funny you ask that because I very recently have been, mind you, I went through, we've gone through the pandemic, the strikes. Like I just, it was a couple of things that happened that I wasn't keeping up with where I was. And then Abbott fortunately had tremendous success after his first season. And so while we were filming our season two, we were, you know, the award shows and blah, blah, blah. But Abbott is like work for me. I'm there. I'm only not there now because we're on hiatus and for a week, which is something we built in so that I can breathe.

42:48But I'm in that writer's room. That's it's not just like it's it is my baby and I'll never make anything like it again because nothing can ever be like this much. My baby again. But so then I just started dealing with like when I've talked to friends of mine who are moms and their kids are toddlers. It's like, oh, shit, the infant's grown. You look in the mirror. What the hell happened to me? What the fuck? Who? What the fuck? Because I am now in charge of a lot of people that I love and love working with. But to go from broke artists before Abbott to very much not that is like, what happened?

43:27And so I cut my hair off because I was like, I got to like, I got to feel like myself again. I have to find a world for the version of me to exist from before Abbott and with who I am now and try to blend them together so that I can hopefully make something, make something new after Abbott. But so I'm just trying to find, and that's what I meant about entering a new era is like, I got to feel everything out so I can figure out which parts of me to bring back and which ones are just gone. This is me taking an educated guess, but I think you're going to find that you don't have to go off and think of something in whole cloth out of a complete nothingness in a vacuum.

44:10You've started something, so something's happening now, and you've put yourself out there. The pot is starting to come to a boil. Other things, now you're going to find you run into things. Do you know what I mean? I want to be open so that the energy can, so that the things can come. It's going to happen. Yeah. I mean, it's happening. I feel good. I'm not like, I feel good. No, you don't. Yes, I do. I think you're in a terrible place. I think you're very depressed. This is an intervention. This is an intervention. You know what? This isn't even going out on the air. When you asked me that question just now, I was like, Did my therapist send you?

44:55Like, does she some? No, no. Come on in. I know. Come in. I haven't talked to her in a year. She's going to be like, this is how I have to get you. Trap you. God damn it. And you're like, yeah, you're$250 an hour. So that's not happening. Yeah. No, I think that's true. And I just, I like that. I like that you're doing this. This has been a very fulfilling conversation for me. So that's good that you, like, are doing this kind of thing. Well, I'll tell you this. One of the things that I mentioned before we even went on the air is what I love now is the opportunity. You know, my wife asked me today, what are you up to?

45:29Like, you know, you do something today. And I said, yeah, I'm headed in. And she said, who are you going to? Will you just do one thing? That's my wife. No, she said, what's up today? And I said, I'm going in. And she said, who are you talking to? And I said that I was talking to you. And she was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. And it's I'm excited to come to work. I'm excited to sit down and talk to you. I'm a fan. You're doing something incredibly. You're doing first and foremost, you're doing really good work. Thank you. But you're also doing something that makes me feel better about where we are, what young people are making.

46:09It gets me thinking differently. It gets me thinking about and I know this is something that you're very active in. OK, I give money to a bunch of things. I went to public schools. Let's get on that. Yeah. I love that. I'm saying that, but I'm not going to really do it. There's this sports car they make. No. Yeah. It's, guess what? It's made of rainforest wood. It's$800 ,000, but I must have it. It's made of old public schools. Yeah. They take books and resources from public schools and they make this car that runs on rainforest leaves. You can do both. You can have that car and throw a quick little.

46:50This is the other thing. People are like, I got to donate all the money to this school. You know, these schools could use a quick little two hundred dollars. They are not asking for a lot. That's how down bad they are. So anyone listening, you might think like that little fifteen dollars doesn't make a difference, but it does. Like it's it goes such a long way. That's what I love that comes up in the show is so much of your show is about or there's so much great comedy that comes out of something that's very real. it's sad but it's also what I love is the character on your show the older teacher Barbara she's such what a great character because you're always saying we need to fix everything and she's saying if we have to do without these children will still she's got this great perspective which is we will make this work but I watch it and I think oh they need like I said they need scissors they need a rug for the floor they need you know they need a chair over in the corner there's so much that they that that i think people think well this problem is beyond us but if every single person said hey wait a minute i can do this son i know you're very tight with money but oh but you what are you talking about sona will you pledge right now yeah sure your salary for the next year oh my salary yeah your salary no i gotta get that car no no that car it takes existing schools and crushes them down you donate so i'm gonna get you the car that's how okay what are you talking about well what's funny is you're talking about barbara and we were just talking about comedy and everything but barbara and janine are very much built for me i talked to you about 30 rock off of Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy.

48:38Yeah, yeah. And people don't make that connection, which is great. I don't, like, need them to, but that was the blueprint for me for them because Jack Donaghy is often right. I mean, you know, it was at a time where you could get away with, like, a deeply Republican character like that and it wasn't, like, violent. He's so likable. He was so likable. I mean, what a good job at that role. And then Liz was right, too, but I love when two characters are right. It is my favorite thing in the world. I love it. It's the best. You're a huge 30 Rock fan. Huge 30 Rock fan. You brought it up when I saw you in the green room.

49:13We call it the green. It's not green. But anyway, when I saw you in the talent lounge. Yes. It's very nice here, by the way. Very nice. It's an old American Airlines lounge that we purchased. But the first thing you did was ask me a 30 Rock trivia question. Oh, yeah. I wanted to know what your favorite 30 Rock joke about you was. I have to say, it's funny because you said it, and I'm going to get this wrong, and 30 Rock fans can correct me, but there was an episode once. I was only on the show twice. I know. I think that's hilarious. Yeah, I was only on the show once. They talk about you so much.

49:48And because I'm her old boyfriend. I'm Liz's former boyfriend. Aren't you in green screen, by the way? Yeah, and then they green screened me on the last one. Well, she came, Tina came out, she was in LA and we green screened it, which was sort of part of the meta joke. But, and of course, it was all about, I still haven't lost my virginity at the time, you know, at 50 or whatever it was. But I think my favorite joke might be, and it might've been Tim Conway who did it, but someone runs into Tim Conway. Is it mine? It's my favorite joke. Wait, go ahead. That's mine too. We'll say it. Do you know it?

50:22Do we know it? What I've heard it is. I think we're all thinking of the same thing. I did my show in 30 Rock for 16 years and I would always walk around and I always had a guitar on. Doesn't he say something like, I thought he said something about you being a woman. No, no. Who is Conan and why is she so sad? Yes. You gave the joke away as you said it. I didn't know what the guitar was. I thought you were on a different track. A joke about a woman. No, I think he goes, I ran into a very tall lesbian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who is Conan and why is she so sad? It's just a wonderful fucking joke from top to bottom.

50:59I have to say that because I love that joke so much, it got me saying, people would say to me, I started doing bits. Oh, that's for that. I started doing bits where people would say, oh, and maybe they'll see you and they'll go like, yeah, and they'll wonder, you know, who is that old Dutch lady or whatever? And people would laugh really hard and I think, well, I'm just using the 30 Rock joke, Yeah. But I'm doing it to myself before someone else can do it to me. I can do it to you like me. But no, it's it's a weird it's not a deep cut, but it's one of those ones you really have had to have had issues in your life and watch those episodes over and over and over and over again.

51:36And it just really sticks out and it starts to stick out how much they talk about you on that show. And it's hilarious. It's so funny, too, because my son, who's now 18, but he really got into comedy and really started going down and binge watching all this all these great shows. And we would do it together. And then he really started to get into 30 Rock. And so I started rewatching and a bunch of them were ones I hadn't seen because I was busy going through my own drama. So I'm watching all of this play out, all these Conan jokes come up on 30 Rock and my son's really laughing at my expense. And I'm like kind of sitting there like, I don't know how I feel about this.

52:17It's cool. right but man uh but anyway um uh it was it was a nice way to so then i reached out to tina who i don't talk to all the time but i do know how to reach out to her and i just reached out to her and said tina i have now re-watched all of 30 rock with my son and um good god the writing is so tight on that on that show and it really holds up it's crazy and so it was it was nice to be able to, you know, when you have that good feeling about someone and then you realize, wait, I can actually tell them. And that is how I want to end because having you here today and being able to tell you that what you're doing is really comedically top notch, but also beautiful and that it's just cool to get to sit with you and talk to you.

53:11This was like an honor. So thank This was an honor for me, too. Little 10-year-old Quinta's flipping her shit right now. This is pretty crazy. Also, if she's 10, that means I'm only 45. Exactly. You did it. Yes, you did it. I did it, finally. Hey, Quinta, congratulations on everything. And always give a holler if we can be of help in any way. I don't even know what that would be. Oh, yes. We can do, first of all, we can, I know I can be of help. You can donate. I can donate. Oh, that's nice, guys. Once I get the car first. Okay. Well, I'm going to get two cars because I want to keep one at my...

53:45You could buy Dion's car. And here's the thing. You could park it anywhere. That is so funny. A white Bentley as a writer is crazy. Oh, and he totally sat right in the chair you're in and completely fessed up to it and was laughing. Yeah. Was it leased? I believe... It had to be leased. I think so. Sorry. And it was a convertible, too. Okay, wait. The focus is you were going to say something nice about donating, like something that was really... Yeah. You cut me off. I'm sorry. You want to know, did Dion, I'm saying, so if you want to donate to schools, here's the number. Hold on. Did Dion lease?

54:22Was it a monthly payment? Can you do that off? Anyway, God bless you. Thanks for being here. All of you. Yeah. And this was really fun. Thanks for having me, y 'all.

54:42Anyway, yeah, they have porta potties right next to each other. Yep. And they're reading. And then after a while, I'm like, is there poop? They're like, no, we're working on it. We're trying. And then after a while, I realize I'm like, they made a fool out of me. It's two in the morning. Yeah. And they've been sitting there for hours. Yeah. But I just thought you at your party would want to know. I used to do that when you were my. date you know day-to-day assistant i'd say i have to poop and you would put me on the toilet and you'd be like come with me into the bathroom because i'm scared and i sit there while you while i read it while i read a children's book and then you'd be there for hours and be like do you have to poop and i'd be like oh yes pretty soon so anyway let's find out what happened to the hungry hungry alligator all right let's go it's a caterpillar well actually i think we're already rolling because what i have to tell you guys is related to this okay let's hear it there's something strange going on in my neighborhood and it's called piss saga piss saga yes i have nothing to do with this i just want to put it out on the record okay let's let's paint the picture your neighborhood of course is in uh pasadena yeah uh-huh and there is an electrical box on the side of the freeway but it's it's on a surface street near that little bakery that i love that makes the i'm sure i know it well on top of this electrical box for the past two years someone has been putting bottles labeled human urine on top of this electrical box.

56:03What? Yes. Since it's on Google Maps since 2022, I have to shout out my sister-in-law, Sarah. You guys know Sarah. She's been following the Instagram of these two guys, Derek Milton and Grant Yansura, who have been following this whole saga and it really escalates. And she told me about it, but she didn't realize it's like really close to where I live. And almost every day there are multiple bottles of urine in in like water bottles that say human urine on them. Is it really urine? Well, this is a thing. Taste it and find out. These guys tested it and it is. And they thought maybe this was a drug drop-off where people are exchanging, you know, drug urine.

56:40But they tested the urine and it's drug free. Wait a minute. Hold it, hold it. That makes sense because if you want to pass a drug test, you need clean urine. Is it possibly that this is a place for people to get that? The other thing is they go through this whole journey where they dress like construction workers and put up field cameras that are motion activated to catch this guy or person, whoever it is. They didn't know initially if it was like just someone who might be mentally ill or a performance artist or a bear. But then they caught this. Oh, my God. Look at that. That's the pisser? That's the piss artist who's clearly doing some kind of installation.

57:20Is he wearing a stocking over his face? It's like a balaclava. Yeah. Does he see the camera there? Because it looks like he's looking into the camera. He stole the camera and then went and took the camera to San Diego because they could follow the GPS on it. He stole the camera. This is. Now get this. That is the scariest. That's one of the scariest photos I've seen in a long time. It looks a little like you.

57:46You know what, Sona? I see it. Yeah. Yeah. This whole thing is I just want to confess. I want this to be over. If I was the piss guy, I would bring it up in a way of like, oh, my God, they're trying to catch the piss guy. But I would be the piss guy. OK, now this is going a level deep because I actually. This is this is by the way, this is. If anyone cares to do it like a little documentary. Well, it's already happening with these two guys. They're making videos and documenting to the point where I'm starting to suspect they might be the piss guys. But that's the beauty of it. they're really craftily making these fun videos about them going to do this stuff.

58:24So whether it's real or not, it's a beautiful piece of art. It's Banksy with urine. Yeah, it's piss Banksy. Banksy piss. Yeah. It should be Banks Wee because it's Wee Wee, Banks Wee. Yeah, guess who just got fired? I'm sorry. Isn't that funny? How quickly someone can get fired? Come on, Banks Wee. Banks Wee. Oh, I doubled down, huh? It'd have to be Banks Weewe. Okay, well. Okay, anyway, sorry. Welcome to the podcast that always raises the bar. Banks peepee. Just go peepee. Okay. It doesn't have to be weewe. Wow, man, you became so animated when we got to the peepee weewe section. Suddenly, Sherlock Holmes is like, let's crack on.

59:11So, what's interesting to me is, yes, you raise an interesting point, which is who discovers this to very able documentarians. Exactly. So it could be them. But it continues to unfold. It's still, as of the recording of this on September 16th, just the other day, presumably the city, who has also contracted a hazmat company to come pick up this urine occasionally. That's your tax dollar at work. I know. They built a little aluminum pyramid on top of this thing so you could not set anything on it. And then I was taking my daughter for a bike ride. I drove by it. The aluminum thing was shattered and there was like five new bottles of piss on there.

59:50Well, now, whoever's doing this, I mean, because I don't know if it's a crime just to leave urine around. I hope not, because... Wait a minute. We all do it. But anyway, wait a minute. No, no. Oh, like I'm going to go all the way to Pasadena to do this? It's littering. What? Littering. No, just a silent G. But... Rage. Oh. If you were a rapper, you'd be hard G. That is so stupid. And brilliant at the same time. No, just stupid. God, he's good. Who's speaking? Real stupid. So this is interesting to me that he's now guilty of destroying city property. If the city did that. These guys that make these videos are so funny and so good.

1:00:39You really should check out their Instagram because they have them laid out in parts one through six. But guess what? Let's try and get our listeners, if anyone's interested and lives in the area, let's get them on the case. What if the P guy listens? Hey, stop doing it. No, or tell us why, because they've also put interview boards like whiteboards and questions for him saying, why are you doing this? Is this an art installation or whatever? And the guy won't answer. Right. And it's unfolding as we speak. How does he get there? Okay, so this is the crazy part. It's the 134. He must pull off on the side of the 134 and has to reach over a concrete wall and put it on there.

1:01:15And there's a video of a hand coming down and placing the piss bottles like chess pieces. Like he's very delicately. But they had to catch that picture. They had multiple cameras. Oh. And at different times. Yeah. And one of them got stolen. One of them didn't work. Why just pee pee? Why not like poo poo? Like why not pee pee? Hey, Sona. Do me a favor. Take a little time out We'll just have some apple juice Take a time out And when you're ready to join the rest Why is it just pee? Why isn't it just poop? Why isn't it also poop? Why just pee, I wonder Don't you wonder? Why do you keep repeating it?

1:01:52You keep saying the words much more often Why just pee pee and no poo poo? Okay, you've been spending a lot of time With twin boys Who are very young And your vocabulary has shrunk To pee, poo yes and no. Okay, let's go back to the piss saga. Sorry, I apologize for bringing this conversation down. Let's go back to the piss saga. We were solely urine focused when you took us into the... Number one is fine. Number two, that's just not respectful. That's not cool. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. That's not cool. Everybody was thought of singing about it. So anyway, I'm interested to find out. I'm kind of interested.

1:02:31I'm also thinking the time and resources that are being spent by both the assailant, we'll call him, and the people who are on his trail. And now we're getting more people involved. And there are real problems in the world. But this is the human mind. We get distracted by these little strange, there's little eddies, little whirling eddies that distract us from creating a real solar grid that will make us less energy dependent and cut down our need for fossil fuels. But that will never happen because we're on the trail of pee-pee man, you know? I know. And Amanda sent me a post on the neighborhood social media app, which is for, you know, neighborhoods and stuff, about a woman concerned about it saying, here's the email of the city person.

1:03:15We need to all write him and tell them to make this stop, too. So it's on the radar of the city now. Is it close to someone's house? Like, is it hurting anybody? You know what? It's very close to Meryl Streep's house. No! Oh, my God. That's not cool. Yeah. She's probably our best, greatest actor. Oh. I mean, really, think about it. Yeah. She shouldn't be anywhere near Strange Urine. What you're saying is not controversial. I know. I just had to take the stand. You know what I'm tired of? I'm tired of people saying Meryl Streep can't act her way out of a paper bag. I'm tired of it. Yeah. And I won't have, she is probably the greatest actress of her generation and I don't think Strange Bottles of Urine should be anywhere in the vicinity of someone of that caliber.

1:03:58Unless she is, in fact, the piss artist. Okay, no, no, No, we're not doing that. No. That's what I thought. Not doing it. Near her house? No one's catching it? Not doing it. She should have cameras around her house. Not doing it. Yeah, she's the piss artist. No, don't like it. Not cool. I'm shutting it down. I'm shutting it down, and I'm ashamed of both of you. Okay. And I rise because you two fall. Well, this has been a huge waste of time, but it's your fault because you tuned into this fucking podcast.

1:04:27Yeah, question? Where can people see these photos? If people want to see these photos... And who wouldn't? Go to the Instagram accounts of Derek Milton and Grant Yen Syrup, spelled like the condiment. There's no such condiment as Yen Syrup. Syrup! His name is Grant Yen Syrup. But what about the first... The condiment, Yen Syrup? Oh, hello! I'm going to pee my pants. Hello? Someone give me a bottle. Guilty. Hello? Guilty. Hello, Wendy's? Wendy's drive-thru person? I've got ketchup. I've got mustard. I've got mail. There's no Yen syrup. What's going on? All right. Peace out, Tupac. Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend.

1:05:23With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao Theme song by The White Stripes Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy

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1:06:26You