Rashida Jones Returns

22:11So she didn't want that. She didn't have a travel show. no she's not go visit fans at their houses

22:20I don't buy it she was playing some kind of long con definitely this is just a way to draw us in more that's hilarious I remember when she came to Twin Peaks it was like a huge deal yeah because she came back she came back and she was amazing yeah looked just I mean incredible and she was back and I don't know where you would have been at that point you still would have been a kid I was in high school. I was just thinking the other day, actually, because I was looking at my graduation pictures and she was my age when I was graduating high school when she was doing Twin Peaks. Yeah. Which I'm like, because she looked so young and I remember her being so young and I'm like, but I don't, why don't I feel as young as, well, as the way I perceived her to be.

23:02She probably didn't. She probably felt tired, just like me. but yeah it's like it's mind-blowing to think that that's that's where she was in her life and she had two teenage kids and was like let me go back to this thing you know anyway everybody makes life choices and then you end up sort of in the same place I guess what I remember because I was in my 20s I think I was working on Saturday Night Live when Twin Peaks came out and I remember turning on the TV and watching with my girlfriend at the time Twin Peaks and I cannot explain to any young person today because we're constantly being bombarded with edgy cool television on all the streaming platforms and everything but this show came on that was unlike anything you had ever seen before and when the first when the pilot episode ended everybody's face fell off yeah i was watching it it was nuts and it was just an obsession and then i remembered i was working at SNL, Kyle McLaughlin came on and they did a sketch about Twin Peaks.

24:02I remember. And they needed someone, they needed a guard to be holding Chris Farley in the background. So they always did this for some reason. I look like a guy who should be doing something on television, but no one knew what the fuck what. So Lauren was always, Lauren or Jim Downey was always saying, just put the costume on Conan and just have him. So I'm standing there. I don't think I even have a line. I'm just holding on to Chris Farley in the background of this Twin Peaks sketch. But it changed everything. Yeah. But TV was a certain thing. And then this show came and you saw what a TV show could be.

24:34Yeah. How weird it could be. It was so weird. It was so original. It's scary too. It was so scary. This is probably not appropriate for a teenager in high school, but I was so scared of Bob. I would check my bed every night. My mom is on the show. I know it's fake. I saw him. I I remember going to set and seeing him walk by on set and like it felt like everything slowed down when he walked by. And then eventually, by the way, in my 20s, when I went to the premiere of the movie Fire Walk With Me, I saw Bob, still don't know his real name, something Silva. I went to go introduce myself because I was like, this is ridiculous.

25:09I'm an adult. I need to get over it. And he was so nice. And he said, I was under your bed. He said, I am a murderer. By the way, I was under there. You were right to be scared. I didn't do anything, but I was under there. he was a set dresser that's he was a set dresser for twin peaks and and david lynch saw him on camera was like there we go there's our god there's there's the guy yeah but but what i was gonna say is kids now they maybe they don't understand but i think they do like kids kids now give twin peaks its flowers or whatever however they say it they really love twin peaks because there there still isn't really anything like it it's so authentically weirdo yes in a way that like people try to manufacture now, but it's like, it's David Lynch TV, which is not like any other TV.

25:55And when he did it, there was just nothing like it. And I remember just being electrified. You'd wait for the next, and you had to wait. Yeah. You had to wait. I mean, I know there are still shows where you have to wait, but this was quite uncommon at the time. Yeah. And all of us, it's all any of us thought about. I was living in New York and watching Twin Peaks. Me too. My mom wouldn't tell me anything. She had to like sign like some NDA every time she got a new script and she would not tell me anything. You know, you have that going on. You also have, I mean, the last time we were on the podcast, we talked a lot about the documentary you did, which I think was lovely and spectacular, about your dad, Quincy.

26:30That's the title of the documentary. That's not me having the gall to call your dad Quincy. You can, you can. You can. He would insist, actually. Yeah, yeah. Hey, how's Quincy? Yeah. Hey, how's Q doing? Tell him C wants to know. Doesn't have the same ring, I don't think. No, it doesn't. It really doesn't. Yours sounds more like a disease. Yeah, tell him. Tell him the big C says hi. Cancer. Oh, no. Wah, wah, wah. But I think one of the coolest parts in that documentary that just blows my mind is when Frank Sinatra's on some TV show and he calls, you had the footage, he calls your dad out and says, by the way, this is the best arranger, producer, music genius I know.

27:09Let's get him out here, Quincy Jones. And I thought, just such a stunning moment. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know. He was a champion. Frank was his champion. They really loved each other a lot. And also it's in the documentary, but there was so much racism at the time. And Frank had a lot of power and he used it to change things because they wouldn't let the band stay at the casinos they were playing at. And he was like, I'm not playing. My band's not staying here. I'm not playing. So, you know, absolutely incredible. Yeah. That's were you interested in music for that reason? I know that music is a big part of your life, obviously.

27:45But I also think you got very interested in religion. Mm hmm. I think you studied religion. Did you study religion in college? Yeah, I did. That's fascinating. Would you was there a certain religion you were drawn to or did you find yourself like bopping around between different religions? I bopped a little bit. I mean, I grew up like culturally Jewish. My mom's Jewish. And then I spent a lot of time. My mom took us to a Hindu meditation ashram. So I spent a lot of time there as a kid and lived in India for a little bit. But then I was like really into Buddhism. I was in a church choir. I was kind of all over the place.

28:19I just liked the ritual of religion. I thought it was really cool. I grew up very Catholic. And so there's a lot of rules and obviously guilt and things like that. And then later on, just in my life, when I've just been living in LA and trying to be open to different things and you're exposed to things like Buddhism, I think, oh my God, this is fantastic. Yeah. This is amazing. There's another way. There's another way. To look at it. I don't have to necessarily hate myself. Right. But that might just be you. No, but I know. And then other people say, no, you really should. Oh, no. No. No. That was such an unconvincing.

28:59No. I don't believe it. I'm not buying it. You were talking about how Twin Peaks got its flowers. A really nice thing has happened with Parks and Recreation, which was always a great show. And something happened where, and I think it's a nice part of this world we live in, where people have access to these shows. It used to be when a show was over, it would slip beneath the waves and that was it. And sometimes the show occasionally would be shown in reruns and become popular. but Parks and Recreation has just bloomed really in such a lovely way because you know few people know and I think a lot of young people today wouldn't know that Parks and Recreation was kind of on the bubble a bit at NBC.

29:45The whole time not even a bit every single season we were like this is it they're not gonna want us back at one point we were canceled and then the president of NBC got off the plane and changed his mind. He was like, eh, don't cancel it yet, I guess. Yeah. It was not, it wasn't really, it wasn't a thing at all. Like, I think critics really championed it. And there was a couple, like, Seepinwall, Alan Seepinwall was like our guy. He was like, right from the beginning, very generous and nice about the show. But no, it was like ratings. Remember when you used to look at ratings every morning? Yes, I do.

30:21nights and like the weekly ratings and your niece your nielsen and your share and all the stuff like we never succeeded there like we were never there was like you know we'd kind of get something a little better we get a bump from like a i don't know some other show in front of us or something but the whole time we were just kind of like holding on for dear life like hoping we got to do more which is probably part of why it was so good right because we there was no there was no like stardom we it wasn't infiltrated by any outside you know feelings about us like people kind of liked us if they knew who we were and besides that we just like had fun together you know and it is it's nice the rewriting but i'm like but i need people to understand because i think it's sort of like it's kind of iconic now it's like one of those like yes great comedies of that time which is so awesome but we didn't feel that way and actually like i think it was five years ago we went to the dolby and we did a 10th year a 10th anniversary thing where we all came out the whole cast and the reception was so it was i felt like the beatles like it was so nuts people were screaming so that we were all crying because we could we'd never been in a room where anybody cared we were there as a crew you know what i mean like together it was so wild i saw that happen once because I know that you were a comedy nerd for things like SCTV.

31:42Yes. And SNL. And when you were when you were growing up, SCTV was, you know, a huge influence on me. This show made in Toronto, you know, Catherine O 'Hara and John Candy and Marty Short and, you know, Eugene Levy and Joe Flaherty. And the list goes on and on and on. These just these amazing performers. And they did such a smart sketch show that in so many ways was so much more. It had all these levels that SNL could never have. SNL was great, but then there was a show that could get to all these different levels. So they did a reunion and I'm a huge SCTV fanatic. So they asked me to do it. And this is back in the nineties.

32:21And they asked me to go to Aspen. And so I'm there with all these people that I had never met before. I go out on stage with them and I start interviewing them and we start showing clips and there's this giant crowd there that's just exploding with laughter. And they're all looking at each other and they said, we've never seen people laugh at this. Right. Because they made it. It was a show that didn't have a studio audience. They made it. They constructed it. Right. And then they put it on TV. Right. And there are all these people that revered it, but I don't think they knew that. Right. So they had that same feeling.

32:53And it was just, I was, I think, I don't tear up easy, but I was very emotional that they were having what they should have had at the beginning. Totally. But sometimes, you know, great things take a while to discover. And I have to have faith in that because in this weird business, we make things and people don't care or there's too much on TV or nobody's seen it. And then somebody says to you, like in a mall somewhere 15 years later, that thing changed my life. And that's kind of, that's the reason to do it, you know? I always try and boil it down to make stuff that you like and put it out there.

33:29And then sometimes you get a ping back. Sometimes you hear nothing. Sometimes you get something back, but it's 15 years later. But that's not our job. Right, right. This is the Buddhist side of me now. Our job is just to like. Put it out there. Put it out there and then see what happens. And then hopefully somebody loves you for it one day. Yeah, we'll see. But really it's about the money. Yeah. You know, monetize it. That's good you went into podcasting. I'm sorry. actually actually yeah no it's for to me it's about money and more specifically real estate oh god because real estate can always be converted into cash you know you have a guest to talk to right who's here Rashida Jones oh shit I love her she's fantastic just turn Rashida oh oh oh Rashida so you have property right you're putting some of it into property if I don't do I have to leave this show eventually gets to property it would be great if this podcast morphed into, we start talking about creative stuff and then it always got back to, what land do you have?

34:30Are you renting it? I see your Zillow page. Flipping property. Yeah. Florida, not a good idea. Taxes, low though. No taxes. Yeah, very good, very good. What's happening? It is. It was a joke and then it wasn't. You've always had, you said something in some interview that I really connected with, which is you always sought out funny people, comedy writers, people that you could riff with. And I always thought, yeah, I understand that. Someone else might say who was cynical might say, oh, you're a network. And it's like, no, it's such a gift to surround yourself with really funny people and just make that your life, make that your environment.

35:10Well, also because it makes you feel funny. I mean, it's a little selfish too. And by the way, it didn't not help. I mean, it was good to know you know my comedy friends in college you know this this feeling like they understand like they understand you in a way that maybe when you go in for an audition just randomly they're not going to really understand the depth of what you're able to do but if you have a friend who's a writer who's on the other side of it i.e mike sure who you know i was friends with since freshman year he can you know although he he made it really hard to get both parts on the office and Parks and Rec I wish I didn't have a friend on the inside he made it harder he made it harder he's like he's like fair guy he's so fair you know he might have show about being the good place is about fair right and wrong he wrote a whole book on ethics that's what I'm saying he's been that guy forever yeah Mike knock it off so just yeah stop it yeah stop being so ethical yeah He does kind of wear it on his sleeve a little bit.

36:14What's he hiding? Exactly. What's he hiding? Yeah, he's the kind of guy who's like, well, let's make sure everyone gets an equal slice of pie. And my attitude is, I've been on TV the longest. I have the most property. Yeah, I have the most property. Give me the pizza. I should get half the pie. Hey, maybe all the pie, and you guys can go fuck yourselves. Oh, my God. Yeah. I'm sorry, Rashida. I'm glad you weren't my boss. Mike's the best. Mike's the best. He's great, yes. we're doing a fun little bit he said he listens to this podcast oh he does? make sure you're a monster I love you so much oh look sure the mics say sure he's here with us sorry promo for the mics sure but they say sure the point is he for the most part did not give me parts I wish he did but I think he saw the thing in me that he knows has existed since I was 18 years old so it's not just about what I'm doing on that day as an audition.

37:12Like he can kind of understand the fullness of me in a way that I think is like nice and it does help. It did help me. But yes, I like to be surrounded by funny people. I often play the straight guy. That's okay. I don't mind. Well, you know, I like it. The straight person in the history of show business, not say the straight man, because that's what he was called for a long time in vaudeville and in the movies, the straight man was actually considered much more important because they held the straight person. So their names always came first. It was Abbott and Castello. It was Martin and Lewis.

37:44It was, you know, it's just the straight person really was the person who was in charge of the whole act and made it all work because of their reactions. And then the other, the wacky person was often less valued. Right. Interesting. Things have changed. To me, it's huge though, how much being a good straight person is absolutely crucial. You have to have an anchor. If not, it's just a bunch of people jumping off the walls. Yeah. Like I think Parks had some combination of like goofy and straight the whole time. Well, everyone could switch off. Everybody got to be all of it. It was the nice thing about it.

38:18Eventually, after six years too, like maybe year one, I was like straight, straight, straight. But by year four, I was like pretty goofy. I want to talk about this project that you're working on because it's a very cool idea. And this is something where you're in the show. you're also producing the show yeah yeah okay um Sonny it's a it's a fascinating idea do you want to lay out the idea because you haven't seen it I have not I have not oh I didn't get to I didn't get to see it no no one sent it to me no no no no one sent me Sonny Sona and I watched the whole thing yeah did you no no I'll say nice I'll send it to you guys yeah no they always if there's a tape that I'm allowed to watch and I say tape to show how old I am I don't think they respect podcasters that's the feeling no i got not i got nothing i got nothing wow but i want to see it because it sounds fantastic yeah it's it's a very odd very original and um it's it's kind of a mystery thriller set in the near future in japan and it's about a woman me who has uh is grieving the the loss or potential loss of her husband and son were on a plane crash and she know what happened and in the aftermath of the plane crash she sent what is considered a homebot which is a little robot cute little robot um that she finds out was designed by her husband i think i can say that yeah yeah it's in the trailer his uh electronics robotic company yes yeah produced this little thing for me to uh keep me company and help me grieve and here's what's interesting to me about it because your character lives in Kyoto.

39:59And what fascinated me about it is that I actually did a piece on this when I was in Japan. You can rent a family because there's an issue in Japanese culture with people being lonely. What they decided to do is say, you can rent a family. So I did a travel segment where I went to Japan and went to the agency. and I rented, I said I'm in Japan for literally like seven days, six days, but I want a wife, I want a teenage daughter and I want a father. And the person, this was, they were all like, yes. And so they got me these people who did not really speak English. And so I started confronting my quote father about issues that I have with my real father.

40:44And guess what? It helped. I had all this closure because he couldn't talk back that's why exactly yeah but he was like he was white haired and really handsome the woman who signed on to be my wife she she and it's not her real daughter it's also an actress or someone who's been trained to be the teenage daughter the teenage daughter I'm doing my shtick and my jokes at one point I say something to the daughter and the daughter turns to the mother and in Japanese says, I don't understand what he's saying. And the mother says in Japanese, not understanding that we can translate all this and put it under the screen.

41:23He's making jokes, just laugh. And she says, but I don't get them. And the wife says, it doesn't matter. And it's - That feels like somewhat emblematic of, that's like a moment in your career, right? Does that happen any other time? moment in my family life doesn't matter just laugh they're not even funny my wife is just like look he's a good earner just a good earner but there is i always think a good idea has an element of truth in it and when i heard about this idea and i guess it's based on a an irish writer wrote this it's colin o'sullivan it's a dark idea but it's also a funny idea that you would have a consolation robot.

42:12Yeah. If you've experienced a loss, that's one thing. But I'm thinking it would have all these applications and it will exist. Yeah. Would have all these implications for people like us in show business to just be like, good one, Conan. Totally. You're so funny. No shit. And the robot does think I'm hilarious. You're beloved. And my character hates it, you know, which is kind of funny too because I bet you would hate it if you actually... No. I'd be like, this fucking robot gets it. Finally. Finally. Somebody's smart. I'm a robot. I was hired just to do this for him. You guys aren't even real, right?

42:48And yet you don't. I learned quickly. All these two do is shit on me. Yeah. And your robots that were, I don't know, the programming got backwards or something. You broke our programming. We can't even do what we're supposed to do. Yeah. Well, I screwed up somewhere. I actually think perversely, I like the other. I like. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. You want to be ragged on. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I think that's like human nature. But yeah, this, I mean, this is expressly weird because once the robot shows up, my life gets really dangerous and like people want things for me and I don't know what and I'm not even sure I can trust her.

43:26So like that's the other thing is like, you know, we're talking about AI and the imperfections of AI. Like you can train something to be become sentient to grow and learn really fast. But then what? Like what is she does she have her own thing that she wants to do that? I don't know might put me in danger. Are you when it comes to something like AI? I'm curious to get your take. Are you optimistic or very pessimistic? I'm a little bit like I guess I would say agnostic about this because it is what it is. Like it's here. It's an inevitability. Yes. We're here. It's not like it's coming. It's already here.

44:04Right. And to me, it's hilarious, ironic that I think AI was created at the pace and the sort of compulsion that it was because the people who make it are so obsessed with what it means to be human that they're trying to replicate it somewhere else. So that to me is like, oh, oh, like we're it's like we're kind of missing the point, which is like instead of like really drilling down on that with each other, we're just like, you know, you know, training and creating, you know, data sets and stuff somewhere else. Yes. So that we can I don't know, like know more about ourselves. It doesn't really make that much sense to me, but it's here.

44:42I think there's obviously going to be tons of applications that are positive and tons that are tons that are negative. I mean, look at the Internet. I'm I'm I'm sort of like a Luddite in that way. I think there's so much destruction that's come from social media. Mainly the monetization of behavior and the meddling with the way people interact with each other, I think is so dangerous because we're so susceptible. We are built to be susceptible. We want to connect with each other so badly that we'll kind of believe anything to do it. So I think AI could potentially do that to us too. But I will say, like, working with this little robot or like even when I did the Muppet movie, like it was so quickly that I was like having full conversations with Fozzie and not the puppet performer.

45:30Like, it's very, very quickly you start to believe these things have a soul. You know, like a voice and an expression and a couple little like, you know, head tilts and like a touch of your wrist. And all of a sudden you're like, oh, you're so sweet and I care for you. But that's an artist making that happen. Totally. See, and that's what I think. Totally. There's still a person making that. We'll see, though. Yeah, we're going to find out. What I keep going back to is that it's the job of humanity, artistic people to whatever comes along. What I completely agree with is it's here. There's no putting it back into a Pandora's box and shutting it, nailing it shut.

46:11No. That's not going to happen. It's here. so then it's a challenge to artists everywhere to push beyond that might sound like naive but i always think when you know this analogy i think has been made by other people but when photography came along right and i mean it was a big thing for anyone who painted to make portraits that was like that was a huge piece of the revenue and suddenly they're like we're good and so then we get all this impressionism expressionism cubism it's just always the job of humans if the technology challenges us for us to rise above that's where i am rise above and to integrate i mean sound in movies changed everything like every single time we have some advancement in technology we do have to change as artists and like i think young people younger than us don't understand the tension where we feel like our pure thing that we do is somehow at odds with the technology that's available.

47:11They're just like, awesome, let me take that and extrapolate and interpolate and do a bunch of stuff with it. So it is going to be one of those things like we're going to have to become friends with it because it's going to be how we have to make what we make and hopefully better. I don't know. When you talk about being a Luddite, being someone who's not that comfortable with technology, I'm definitely that way. I'm a pen and paper guy. When I go on the computer, it's either Sona standing behind me and or my - Grandpa, hit the return button. I don't understand. Power on. Power on. So I have like an uneasy relationship with it.

47:49But I think the thing that I dislike the most about the last 25 years is that A, I've aged terribly and B - No. No, no, no. Trust me. No, you're cute. You're forever crush. No, that's, please. You are. No, you'll see. No, you'll see. I'll see. You'll see. What? I know, what does that mean? What does that mean? It means that when I take my headset off, this is gonna fall apart. You're just gonna Dorian Gray in 20 seconds? Yeah. Yeah, I'm like, what is it on Game of Thrones? Oh, Melisandre. Melisandre. Melisandre. Where once you leave, I retreat to another room. Right, and you're like, and suddenly I just, and I have low hanging, what we call dugs.

48:32That's a low hanging. A low hanging. That's what Melisandre on Game of Thrones when she was beautiful. And then she takes up. Who's calling them Dougs? Don't look at me. Don't look at me. I'm not in this with you. The poets back, the classic poets. They called them Dougs? Dougs, D-U-G-S. Look it up. Look it up. I was just talking about people's Dougs. Tribble Dougs is like, I'm going to say either T.S. Eliot or one of the great poets. Yes, it's a term for an old woman's... Man with wrinkled dugs. Yes. Wow. It means like a man or a woman with breasts and wrists hanging down. I'm only calling them dugs from now on.

49:10But it's not a Google search. But it's not a compliment. No, I know. But I'm going to turn it into a compliment. Okay, well, I just want all of our listeners to know that's the word of the day, dugs. Dugs. If someone's breasts are really hanging down, man or woman go like, you got some shriveled dugs there. Such a funny term. Can you say, hey, nice dugs? It doesn't work that way. that way. That's what I'm doing. No, that's what I'm doing. We're changing it. And if someone says, where did that come from? Go, hey man, Ezra Pound, T.S. Eliot, get with it. Yeah. And then you're cool. And then you're cool.

49:38Anyway, here's the part that I was saying that I don't like about the last 20 years before we got off onto shriveled dogs is that... Stop saying shriveled dogs. Shriveled dogs. Anyway, what I'm going to say is that I think we have found, they found a way to game humans and they realized that humans naturally are attracted to and compelled by conflict. I think we kind of always knew that, which is why we like movies where things blow up and there's a bad guy and a good guy, but they gone hyper with it so that everything, including the news has to be people shouting at each other. All reality shows have to be people shouting at each other.

50:12There has to be, you know, if we were doing this right, I'd constantly be angry at Matt. Matt would constantly be angry at me. So, you know, well, I know, but you know, you wouldn't, you are, but you have to, you know, you know, tamp it down. Right. But I guess my point is that's the part where I think I've seen it in fact comedy where a lot of comedians they just want to say things that piss people off or they want to rail against this or rail against that and I think that can be fine until we're losing our sense of like is this funny? Is this something that makes me laugh? We're losing sight of what real conflict is because everything is conflicted now and our fight fight or flight is like it's so often being incited that it's like you know you're whatever cortisol you're like dumping that you're supposed to use to like run away from a lion or a tiger and go hide in a cave for two months like all day long every day people are like cortisol cortisol i'm dying i'm gonna die i'm gonna die somebody i'm in trouble like like things are the world's gonna end all day long every day yes so you're so you become so desensitized when like you're actually supposed to care about something and something's a real conflict you know yes it's it's very strange and also that it's all intentional that the people who are building these platforms know that they know it and they're buying into it and they want to modify our behavior they want us to keep coming back and engaging the way to do that is to keep us in conflict and like we're i mean everybody's mad at each other right now they should be mad at the people who built these platforms yeah this is not this is not to me this is not what like free speech and technology can do at its best like i know everybody's like but we're connected like are we no i was like we're not connected well i was at some silicon valley event i want to say maybe eight years ago and afterwards i'm talking to a lot of these silicon valley big wigs you know billionaires who are in their 20s and early 30s and they were one of them said to me like well you know we're doing we're just making the world a better place.

52:12And I said, no, you're making the world a different place. Exactly. But I don't know. And then we got into it because they didn't like that. Good. I'm glad you did. But then they gave me a billion dollars. And you shut up and you just shut up I said, you're making the world a better place. Can we have some? No, no, I bought land with it. Oh man, the land. I have all of Connecticut. Really? And then underwater, I own everything underwater off Connecticut. You know, you don't pay us for this, right? What's that? We don't get paid for this. Oh, I know. Just volunteer things. That's a bad deal for you, man.

52:45You've got to look out for yourself. Where are they going to go? It's true. I've got nothing else going on. It's an Apple TV Plus series called Sunny. And I have not seen it yet. I can't wait to see it because it's a very cool idea. But also, I'm just, I said it before. I'll say it again. I adore you. You are so funny. You're so smart. You're Jesus Christ. I'm Jesus Christ. Yeah, I know. Congratulations. What? No, no. I'm accepting that title. No, you didn't let me finish. Jesus Christ, comma, you're Rashida Jones. And that's a pretty cool thing to be. Okay. I think I'm more of the Jesus figure here.

53:21Oh, man. Ruining thing. Kind of rose from the dead when you think about it. I had a bad cold last week. Now I'm fine. Anyway, please, I've loved having you here. And please come back anytime. I would love to. And you're also in the neighborhood. So come by sometime and have lunch with us. Yeah. And you'll pay, I guess. Is this a real offer? Yeah. We will take you out to lunch. For real? Yeah, we'll go to Great White right down the street. I love Great White. Yeah. Awesome. And I'm all hooked up there. Are you? Meaning if I go there and I wait long enough, they let me in. They don't throw you out.

53:58That's my definition of hooked up. If I get there early, put my name down and wait for a really long time, half the time I get in. I'm hooked up. Anyway, thank you so much for being here. It was so fun. Thank you. Thanks, you guys.

54:21rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb walla walla testing testing I'm sorry I'm trying to have a human moment the room's in an uproar right now Eduardo will you explain what you were saying yeah so I recently went to Vegas and you know I was at the craps table do you have a problem or anything no no would you like one No, but this is one of your regular activities is you go to Vegas and you play craps. I wish I did it a little more regular, but yes, I do like to roll a die. And so anyway, so I'm sitting there and if you're there long enough, you get to talk to the dealers. If you have a big enough problem, you get to talk to the dealers.

54:58Are they dealers or are they croupiers? They're dealers. The person sitting at the center is called a stick man. Oh. Insert joke. No, I'm not going to do a joke about that. A dick joke. No, I would never do that. No, no. Although in high school, they called me the stick man. No, because I had a stick shift car. My penis was nothing like a stick. It's all smushed. It's more like a leaf. No, it's like a crushed peanut shell. Anyway, let's get on with it. Anyway, so chit-chatting with one of the dealers. You know what? They love it when people come and just chit-chat with them. They must love you.

55:33Yeah, he was a cool dude. Okay. Anyways, so he ended up asking me what I do for a living. And I said, I work in podcasting. And then he goes, oh, do you work on any funny ones? And I said, yeah, I work on Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend. He goes, Conan, I love Sona. Conan, I love Sona. You know what? I'm happy for you, Sona. No, you're not. I am. No, I really am. I could see it in your face. You're thinking of something right now. No, I'm not. I'm just. Something's bubbling. No, I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you finally got a win. You finally got a W. Finally got a win. But no, so anyway, that's nice.

56:11I like it. That's nice that people are out there listening. Yeah, I thought it was cool, which led me to my next point. Speaking of the W. Exactly. So at the win, Sirius XM has just acquired a studio there. And I thought it would be a good exercise for us, you know, to take a little field trip and maybe check out the studio. Oh, do you a trip to Venice? Do you record? Record an episode or two of Conan O 'Brien. There's plenty of acts on the strip. I'm sure you can talk to anyone. Carrot Top? I would love. Jeff Dunham. We could get Jeff Dunham. Can we please go and take you guys to a club and then record it?

56:46Oh, God. Please, at a table. What do you mean? I want a table. What kind of club? What do you mean what kind of club? What kind of club? Just say it. A strip club. Not a strip club. No. One where they get dressed. Yes. They don't. What? Huh? You think the opposite of a strip club is where people put clothes on? on? No, but you know, it's a club. It starts, they play sexy music and people come in moderately dressed. Like, they're dressed for like late summer. And then as the music plays, they put on more and more clothing until they're wearing several parkas. Yeah, it's decidedly unsexy music. No, the music they play is Take Some Sugar Off Me.

57:22Oh my God. Take some sugar off me. You know what? On second thought, I just heard that all the clubs are closed. No, you don't want to party with these two guys? But listen, so anyway, Sona and Eduardo, I wanna give you guys, I wanna give them a little rope to let this play out. So what you're saying is, if I get this right, we go to the Wynn, they have a SiriusXM studio there, and maybe we do an episode or two of Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend from the Wynn. Right. Now, the idea, I'm guessing what interests you about this is you get to hang and chat up your favorite I'm looking for a free stay at Vegas but I remember this very clearly from the early years of my dealings with Sona she would come back from a weekend and she looked bedraggled and I would say what's up and you said me and my crew you and your gang and you said we did a Vegas U-turn and explain what a U-turn is I think we've talked about this before.

58:28We have. A U-turn is in the beginning of the evening, you and your friends, or not in the evening, but you drive to Vegas. You don't have a hotel or anything. Right. You party all night. Yep. And then in the morning, you know, you get like some Denny's or whatever. And then you just drive back. I think what I remember is the detail is that you changed clothing in the car. In a parking lot. In a parking lot. In a parking structure. Parking structure. Oh, an aristocrat. Oh, I see. We went to one of those clubs you were talking about where we go and we change into our clothes. But what I'm saying is this would not be a U-turn.

59:02I know that we've discussed that before. You can't handle a U-turn. I can handle a U-turn. You cannot handle a U-turn. Oh, I did. Listen, you forget that I come from humble means. I drove out in a shitty car with Greg and Rob Lezebnik and Rodman and we went to Vegas. This is back in the mid 80s. I did not know this. We stayed in the old Vegas where literally the buildings were built in like the 40s. Yeah. Yeah. Those are all gone. Yeah. This was back in the day. Anywho, I remembered saying someone needs to tear all this down. And I said that to the owners. Oh. And so I don't know. I don't know what I think about this.

59:42I don't know. Do we get good people to come on the podcast? Of course. In Vegas? Yeah. Yeah. I think, I mean, Adele is there. Oh, Bruno Mars has me. Bruno Mars is there. I mean, that's fun. What about them Thunder from Down Under guys? I've seen that. There's the sphere, that new venue, the sphere. Oh, you know what would be so funny? Us doing this in the sphere. And so it's just all these insane projections all around us in three dimensions and holograms. And we're just sitting here going, yeah, I don't know. That guy's a big dick. I'd love to do a clueless gamer in the sphere and see you just eat shit on like, just you can't turn left.

1:00:27Right, I can't turn left. I'm sitting there with some nerd. And no, I don't know. I have to say Vegas is not, you could say Vegas is my kryptonite, meaning there's not, I don't gamble. It's not like I just want to hit a bar. It's not a lot of stuff that I like to do. Now, to be fair, I've never seen a show in Vegas. Let me also say the culinary experience is different now. It's true. If you love to eat, there's great restaurants. Oh, I've heard that. It's a big foodie town now. Aren't their cocktails all a little like just day glow? No, some of the best cocktails now. You would appreciate this.

1:01:08You don't have to get mad at me. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm suspicious. I've never seen Eduardo this animated about anything. And that includes the time we talked about soccer, or as he calls it, football. And I've given him a signed messy jersey and he was excited, but he's more excited. Yeah, we can go to the Wynn. Vegas has it all. And I'm thinking, he's getting paid. Do you get the feeling he's in great debt and he has to actually get you there to save his ass? I think that his nice chat with the craps guy was more or less the guy saying like, you know, hey, Tony, get over here. Let me see your fingers.

1:01:45We got to break this guy's legs. And he went, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. I know Conan. I know Conan. Do you know Sona? Yeah, I know Sona. All right, all right. So we know Sona. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? I'm going to get him back here, and we're going to do a show, and we're going to spend a lot of money, and you're going to get Conan, and it's going to be great. All right, you've got 24 hours. And Conan will open for Sona, right? Conan opens. Keep it short. He seems kind of needy. But then Sona comes in, and hey, would Sona do well? Would she play one of the big rooms?

1:02:20Oh, you bet she would. Help her brother out. All right. Oh, my God. This is the second, by the way, Vegas employee that is a big fan of yours. This is your place. Like, you know, the waiter that I had when I went and now this guy. You've got two people in Vegas. Yes, two people in Vegas. Well, listen, Eduardo, I don't want you to get killed. I don't think they would kill you. I do think they'd smash your fingers and your legs. That's fair. And so we'll help you out. We'll get to Vegas. Great. I do think it's fun. Okay. Well, I know you're going to have a good time. And also maybe a little break from the kids, if you know what I mean.

1:02:55What do you mean? I mean, you've made it very clear that you love your children. Love them. But they're destroying you. Oh, yeah. And maybe. Hate them at the same time. 24. Yeah, that's called parenthood. So 24, 36 hours in Vegas. Yes. I'm in. Massages. Yeah, okay. Can we do a U-turn tonight? Well, I don't know. Eduardo, I think, is the one who's in Dutch. Yeah, it kind of needs to happen. Okay. All right, it's a done deal. We'll go to Vegas. I'll figure it out. Daddy will figure it out. Yay!

1:03:26Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend. With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

1:03:47Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.